Friday, March 1, 2019

Porcine ePistle


Famous First Words: To all to whom these Presents shall come... US Articles of Confederation
Happy Pig Day!! Manafort walked into a bar with a duck under his arm. The barman says "Sorry, we don't serve pigs in here," Manafort protested, "Its not a pig its a duck" The barman says "I was talking to the duck."
..........There's a mess of moonlight, won't-cha share it with me..........Glenn Miller …..In The Mood
Peace is not the elimination of the causes of war. Rather it is a mastery of great human forces and the creation of an environment in which human aims may be pursued constructively. --James H. Case, Jr.
It is the ninth cold Friday (19°F) morning this year. I am tired of these mornings; these morning where it is too cold to walk or too snowy to walk or too icy to walk. It has been a long time since I have seen the red-tailed hawk watch us from her perch in the bare tree. It has been two months since I've listened to the birds singing a wake up to the world. I'm tired of sitting fat with layers of clothing and wrapped in blankets...huddled in. Remember those springs when a February would see crocus blooming through snow. Looking out my window I see there is not much wind and no green, even the pine is brown in its death throws from some disease or other. But I still have coffee – sweentened and creamed – and I still have you. Thanks.
Hope your weekend compliments your fun, ePistliers.
Einswine is considered the smartest pig who ever lived. / Peppa injured herself in a greased pig contest and was taken to the hospital in an hambulance.
..........And winter, chilled your mind..........Roger Daltrey …..Born To Sing Your Song
Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday, Captain America !
^ Who created Captain America?
^^ Know who the captain's sidekick during the WWII era was?
^^^ For a brief time (the 70s), a disillusioned captain changed his name to what?
^^^^ Any idea what the shape of the captain's first shield was or even his current shield?
^^^^^ Who was the very first villain the captain fought?
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The president wants to know if North Korean missiles can reach Michael Cohen? --Clifford Weyant
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 4% of a librarian's wardrobe was knitted at the library; 24% at library conferences. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
What do you call a pig with three eyes? Piiig / The mad scientist crossed a pig with a triceratops and came up with Jurassic Pork.
..........Pardon me, boys..........Glenn Miller …..Chattanooga Choo Choo
Moonbeam: Some people can stay longer in an hour than others can in a week. --William Dean Howells
Something to Think About of the Week: Spiral Galaxy

Big Hello: Lumelo – Sesotho (Zimbabwe) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: He's not just Bernie Sanders, he's Grey Guevara. --Stephen Colbert
Week of the Week: National Cheerleading Week (3/1-7) –Cheerleaders drink Root Beer before a game. / Ghosts of cheerleaders past have a favorite chant “That's the Spirit!”
Farmer John built his pig stys out of maHOGany. / Bruce Li Boar was most famous for his porkchop.
..........Flames of life, flames of truth..........Roger Daltrey …..Orpheus Song
^ Created by Joe Simon (author) and Jack Kirby (artist), Captain America was the most popular of a series of patriotic superheroes introduced by American comic book companies during World War II to capitalize on patriotic sentiments.
Almanac: It is Friday, March 1, 2019. The moon was last quarter last Tuesday and is currently in Capricorn. It is Asiatic Fleet Memorial Day, Employee Appreciation Day, National Horse Protection Day, National Peanut Lovers Day, Peace Corps Day, Pig Day, Plan a Solo Vacation Day, Refired, Not Retired Day, World Compliment Day, World Day of Prayer, and Dress in Blue Day. In Engadine, Switzerland it is Chalanda Marz aka the Coming of spring. While in Lanark, Lanarkshire Scotland it is Whuppity Scoorie Day aka The Approach of Spring Day. In Ohio (1803) and Nebraska (1867) it is Admission Day. Panamá celebrates Constitution Day (1946) and South Korea celebrates Independence Movement Day aka Sam Il Chul (1919).
Among those born on this day are Frederic Chopin (1810), William Dean Howells (1837), Glenn Miller (1904), David Niven (1909), Ralph Ellison (1914), Dinah Shore (1917), Robert Lowell (1917), Lawrence Ferlinghetti (1919), Harry Caray (1920), Yitzak Rabin (1922), Judith Rossner (1935), Roger Daltrey (1944), Alan Thicke (1947), and Ron Howard (1953).
On March first the revised Julian calendar began (1BCE), Pennsylvania outlawed slavery for new borns (1780), the US Articles of Confederation were adopted (1781), the first US census was authorized (1790), Ohio became the 17th state (1803), the USA annexed the Republic of Texas (1845), (most of) Nebraska became the 37th state (1867), the Library of Hawaii was established (1879), the first federal land bank was chartered (1917), Rwanda was ceded to England (1921), Captain America first appeared in the comic books (1941), the first permanent auto license plates were issued (CT, 1937), the International Monetary Fund began operating (1947), the Peace Corps was established (1961), K-Mart opened (1962), Uganda became self-governing (1962), the Ba'ath party took power in Syria (1966), NBC announced the return of Star Trek (1968), Johnny Cash married June Carter (1968), Pirate Radio began operations (1969), the Watergate grand jury indicted 7 Nixon aides (1974), and Russian Venera landed on Venus (1982),
Night Sky, 3/1: Now in Saturday's dawn, the low crescent Moon introduces Venus to its left, the "star" of the morning show. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max Picture of the Week: This is Max's Dad's Home smile.

This Week: Saturday, March 2 – Dr Seuss Day & Sock Monkey Day & Zero Discrimination Day
Sunday, March 3 – Namesake Day & National Anthem Day & National Mulled Wine Day
Night Sky, 3/3: Look east after dusk this week for the constellation Leo already climbing well up the sky. Its brightest star is Regulus, and the Sickle of Leo extends upper left from there.
Monday, March 4 – Benjamin Harrison Day & Hug a GI Day & National Grammar Day
Night Sky, 3/4: Mercury is an evening apparition low in the west as twilight fades. Mars still glows high in the west-southwest at nightfall and Uranus hides below it. Venus, Jupiter, and Saturn all rise well before dawn begins. Neptune is lost in the sunset.
Did you realize that pigs invented mud wrestling? / At the Duroc family reunion it was all hogs and kisses.
..........Gosh all, git up, how'd they get that size..........Glenn Miller …..Jeepers Creepers
^^ During World War II, Captain America's sidekick was Bucky (a.k.a. James Buchanan Barnes), an orphan who had lost his father at the outset of the war. Although he had no super powers, Bucky bravely fought alongside Captain America throughout most of the war.
'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I can't wait til gender is extinct so baby showers will have banners like “IT'S A GEMINI!”.
Moonbeam: When I discover who I am, I'll be free. --Ralph Ellison
Late Night Snacks: A fake hate crime is not a good way to get a raise. I mean, call me old-fashioned, but whatever happened to just going into your boss’s office and blackmailing him with nudes? --Trevor Noah / Look, I’m no expert, but if you’re going to fake a white supremacist hate crime, hire two white guys. This is one place where you don’t want diversity. --Stephen Colbert / Space Force and borders. It’s pretty telling that despite the effects of climate change, gun violence, and inadequate healthcare, Drumpf thinks the biggest threats to America are asylum seekers and Klingons. --Seth Meyers
Classic Not So Late Night Snacks: That's a fact. We have the most densely sensored network of sewers anywhere in the world. Smart water technology...We have these Wi-Fi-enabled sensors all through the system. They let us manage the flow, route things where it's supposed to go, mitigates flows going into the river. --Pete Buttigieg, Mayor of South Bend, IN. How specific is it? Is it like like, oh, God, the Harrisons had burrito night again. --Peter Sagal Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me (2/10/18)
You may think there is not much that any one person can do toward achieving world peace. Yet if every person who believed in the ideas in the Golden Rule, the Sermon on the Mount, and the Ten Commandments would begin practicing them in his own small sphere, the combined effect would be world-shaking. --Alfred A. Weinstein
The mad scientist's second try produced the Porkasaurus Rex. / The pig world knows all about fake news, has for years, they call it hogwash.
..........Refugees in a world gone cold..........Roger Daltrey …..When The Thunder Comes
^^^ During the 1970s, Steve Rogers, Captian America, became disillusioned by politics and, feeling he could no longer represent the US government, abandoned the costume and identity to take on a new name -- the Nomad, Man Without a Country.
Worthless Fact of the Week: Nixon's 7 aides that were indicted 3/1/74 were John Mitchell, Harry R Haldeman, John Ehrlichman, Charles Colson, Robert Mardian, Kenneth Parkinson, and Gordon Strachan.
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you ever get lost in the woods, whisper something mildly critical of Bernie Sanders and 1,000 people will come and find you. --Adam J. Smith
Weird Word of the Week: Whelm – to capsize or overturn (1513) Whelm not our ships with Your anger, but give us swift voyaging and good winds, full nets and victory. http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-whe1.htm
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Prevent mud and clay build-up on bicycles. Spray the bicycle with a thin coat of WD-40. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wd40.html
Pigs have long been treated as the untouchables of farm life. It's because the squeal on everybody. / The Houston Hams were this year's winner at the Pulled Pork tug-of-war games.
...........I could blossom out I know..........Glenn Miller …..Lady Be Good
^^^^ Captain America's original shield was badge-shaped. It was bulletproof, but not indestructible. In later years, it was replaced by the indestructible circular shield made of an adamantium/vibranium alloy.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: You know, in high school if you didn't believe in science it was just called failing. --Michelle Wolf
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: WhimsyCon 2019 – (3/1-, Denver) Part-celebration of Steampunk, part-celebration of costuming, we hope to provide something for everyone. https://www.whimsycon.org/
Actual Science Convention of the Week: Gordon Research Conference – Plant-Herbivore Interaction (2/24-3/1) Advancing Plant-Herbivore Interactions Through Complementary Approaches and the Blurring of Disciplinary Boundaries. https://www.grc.org/plant-herbivore-interaction-conference/2019/
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck refusing to acknowledge the little dog in the room in the case of the Dogs in the Mirror.

Hamworth Hog writes the best books; every tail has a twist. / Preppy pigs wear Calvin Swine.
..........Our hearts showed the way..........Roger Daltrey …..The Price Of Love
^^^^^ In the very first issue of Captain America Comics (March 1941), Captain America battled The Red Skull, a super villain that had been recruited by Adolf Hitler himself.
Month of the Week: March is Social Work Month -Social work is such a worthwhile, fulfilling job that I've decided to give up my fabulous income as an investment banker to become one. / If you ever wanna know what a social worker's mind feels like...imagine a browser with 2,857 tabs open. All The Time.
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Exhaustipated (adj.) Too tired to give a crap.
Grammar Joke of the Week: A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar. No joke.
Today's Peace of History, March 1, 1943: A huge rally in New York City’s Madison Square called on the US government to reconsider its refusal to offer sanctuary to Jewish refugees of Nazi Germany.
The mad scientist gave up on dinasaurs and crossed a pig with a cactus. Result: porcipine. / When Babe got laryngitis he was disgruntled.
..........Whatever you're doin' blow it off..........Glenn Miller …..Pennsylvania 6-5000
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, March 1, 2019, Porcine ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Snickers, Serenity, and Sows. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
P.S Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The groundhog is currently in Hawaii awaiting extradition to Kansas on fraud and lying charges, according to his lawyers. --Submitted by jb of ks
Moonbeam: In the end, there is no end. --Robert Lowell
Cost of War:
As of 2/28/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,902,505,433,458.
As of 2/21/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,900,474,250,002.
As of 2/28/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $881,887,346,715.
As of 2/21/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $880,506,830,733.
As of 2/28/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $658,315,133,902.
As of 2/21/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $656,579,818,438.
As of 2/28/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $305,253,510,422.
As of 2/21/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $304,859,031,863.
As of 2/28/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,747,961,122,975.
As of 2/21/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,742,420,517,663.
Peace is not absence of war, it is a virtue, a state of mind, a disposition for benevolence, confidence, justice. --Baruch Spinoza --Today's peace quotes were sent to me by jb of ks
..........Now love, our love, how love has ended war..........Roger Daltrey …..Peace At Last
One winter a farmer said to her husband: "Should we bring the pig inside, it is freezing out there. "But it stinks", he complained. "Oh, He'll get used to it," she replied. / We're being sued by the Big Bad Wolf. Apparently he injured back while on our property while trying to blow the house in.
Famous Last Words: a renaissance of wonder. --I Am Waiting by Lawrence Ferlinghetti
May Peace fill your pork barrel
And Joy bring home your bacon
prairie mama
christine


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