Famous
First Words: Chase and Sanborn presents... Opening of Major
Bowes' Original Amateur Hour
It's
National Cleaning Week (24-30) – In honor of this beautiful spring
weather, I would like to invite you over to complain about allergies,
reminisce about spring break trips, and help me clean. / We can't
both look good at the same time – it's me or the house.
..........Our
Galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars.........Eric Idle
…..The Galaxy Song
Before
the tongue can speak, it must have lost the power to wound. --Peace
Pilgrim
It
is a damp, chilly (47°F) Friday morning. The sky is an endless,
textureless gray that refuses to rain but empties fine sprinkles into
the strong north wind that carries the smell of rain and damp soil
along with the drops. Puck is very vocal barking at birds (if they
can fly why are they on the lawn?) and terrorizing a rabbit under a
sprawling bush with tiny green leaves just daring to show their
colors. All the trees are dancing about but the willows are so
dramatic about it, thrashing and whipping as if they are riding an
unseen bucking bronco. Green is erupting everywhere – the grassy
lawns, the weedy meadow, flower beds, gardens...everything but the
big old trees – they can wait until the youth green up before they
bother to dress for the season. A pair of loud ducks fly west to
east over the wetlands, squawking and keeping low, a quarrel of
sparrows turn a small tree with red seed pods into a choir loft for
matins. Even the neighborhood murder of crows flies overhead
complaining about something or other. A cacophony when rounded out
by car motors and an airplane passing over. So we retreat to our
rooms where only the hum of the computer and the click click of the
keyboard sing to us. Puck slurps up a bowl of milk and settles into
slumber. I take long, sweet drinks of carefully coddled coffee and
sit down to write to you. Ahhhhh, spring.
Hope
your weekend is messy and fun, ePistliers.
I'm
really not into spring cleaning. Come to think of it, I'm not into
summer, fall, or winter cleaning either. / Why don't you use the
vacuum to pick up that spilled flour? Because vacuum cleaners suck.
..........We'll
overact like hell.........Eric Idle …..The Song That Goes Like
This (Spamalot)
Trivia
Questions: Happy Anniversary of Pluto's christening
^
In what year was Pluto discovered?
^^
Where is Pluto in the solar system – more or less?
^^^
Who named Pluto?
^^^^
What sort of planet is Pluto anyway?
^^^^^
Any idea what the science behind demoting Pluto is?
Funniest
Thing I Read of the Week: I didn't mean
to push all our buttons. I was just looking for mute.
Fake
Library Statistic of the Week:
1 in 3 librarian teams have been banned from their local bar's trivia
night. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Our
house is not messy, we just like obstacle courses. / Behind every
good marriages is a good house cleaning service.
..........And
now I've passed by own sell-by date.........Eric Idle …..One Foot
In The Grave
Moonbeam:
Parties are continually changing. The men of today give place to the
men of tomorrow, and the idols which one set worship, the next
destroy. --John Tyler
Something
to Think About of the Week: Kiwi ...Mandala
simply means “center and surroundings”.
Big
Hello: āyubūvan -
Sinhala (Sri Lanka)
https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Next
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I
picked up the magic 8 ball and asked “Will I ever live in a clean
house again?” I shook the ball and it exploded and made a mess.
Week
of the Week: National Protocol Officer's
Week (24-30): I'm a school nurse. I would love to send you home,
sweetie, but being a good liar doesn't meet any protocol standards.
A
bad roommate is someone who after taking out the trash, struts around
like they cleaned the entire house. / I swear that somewhere out
there, my Tupperware lids and single socks are chilling
together..smoking a doobe and laughing at me.
..........So
be strong, keep right on to the end of your song.........Eric Idle
…..Find Your Grail (Spamalot)
^
Pluto
was discovered by Clyde Tombaugh in 1930.
Almanac:
It is Friday, March 29, 2019. The moon was last quarter yesterday and
is currently in Capricorn. It is Festival of Smoke
and Mirrors Day, Knights of Columbus Founders Day, National Day of
Unplugging, National Mom & Pop Business Owner's Day, and Texas
celebrates Love the Children Day. In Madagascar
it is Commemoration Day/Memorial Day (1947); while in Taiwan it's
Youth Day and its Veterans' Day in Vietnam (1973).
Among
those born on this day were John Tyler (1790),
Edwin Drake (1819), Warner Baxter (1889), Dennis O'Keefe (1908), Moon
Mullican (1909), Eugene McCarthy (1916), Man O'War (1917), Billy
Carter (1937), Eric Idle (1943), Karen Anne Quinlan (1954), LaToya
Jackson (1956), Marina Sirtis (1959), Elle Macpherson (1964), Beverly
Crusher (2334), and Deanna Troi Betazed (1226).
On
March twenty-ninth Beethoven debuted his piano playing talents
(1795), the British North America Act was passed (constitution of
Canada, 1867), Ohio outlawed 10 hour days for children (1852), Jack
Benny debuted on radio (1932), meat, butter, and cheese came under
rationing (US, 1943), Julius and Ethel Rosenberg were convicted
(1951), Some Like It Hot
premiered (1959), the 23rd Amendment was ratified allowing DC
residents to vote for president (1961), Jack Paar last appeared on
the Tonight Show
(1962), and the pyramidal entrance to the Louvre opened (1989).
Night
Sky, 3/29: In
the western sky after dusk, spot orange Mars passing just 3° from
the delicate, blue-white Pleiades this evening through Sunday
evening. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max
Picture of the Week:
Grandpa and 3 dogs – life is good.
This
Week: Saturday, March 30 –
International Folding Laundry Day & Pencil Day
Night
Sky, 3/30: Castor and Pollux shine together
very high in the south after dusk. Pollux is slightly the brighter of
these "twins." Draw a line from Castor through Pollux,
follow it farther lower left by a big 26° (about 2½ fist-widths at
arm's length), and you're at the dim head of Hydra, the Sea Serpent.
Earth
Hour - Last Saturday in March. Millions of people around the world
switch off their lights for Earth Hour at 8:30 pm local time.
Sunday,
March 31 – Bunsen Burner Day & Cesar Chavez Day &
Mothering Sunday & International Hug A Medievalist Day
Monday,
April 1 – All Fool's Day & International Tatting Day &
Library Snap Shot Day
Night
Sky, 4/1: Mercury and Neptune are hidden in the glow of
sunrise. Jupiter rises in the southeast around 2 am. Venus rises
above the east-southeast around first light of dawn. Then comes
Saturn in the early dawn. Mars glows in the west after dusk while
Uranus sets in the west shortly after dark.
Tuesday,
April 2 – International Children's Book Day & National
Ferret Day & Reconciliations Day
Wednesday,
April 3 – Find A Rainbow Day & National Walking Day &
Weed Out Hate Day
Thursday,
April 4 – National Fun at Work Day & National Burrito
Day & World Rat Day
Someone
sent me an email about using vodka for cleaning around the house. It
worked. The more vodka I drank, the cleaner the house looked. / Ack!
I can't tell if I'm actually cleaning or merely moving stuff slowly
around the house.
..........Boy,
my mind is in a tail-spin.........La Toya Jackson …..Frustration
^^
Pluto
is a dwarf planet in the Kuiper belt, a ring of bodies beyond
Neptune. It was the first Kuiper belt object to be discovered and is
the largest known plutoid. ~~Because I had to look it up...“Plutoids
are celestial bodies in orbit around the Sun at a semi-major axis
greater than that of Neptune that have sufficient mass for their
self-gravity to overcome rigid body forces so that they assume a
hydrostatic equilibrium (near-spherical) shape, and that have not
cleared the neighbourhood around their orbit.”
and now you know~~
'Nother
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Sorry! The lifestyle you
ordered is currently out of stock.
Moonbeam:
Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be
smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it's
important. --Eugene McCarthy
Late
Night Snacks: Sixteen candidates: 15 will lose
while one will, let’s be honest, also probably lose and then we’ll
be stuck with this toilet monster for another four years. --Samantha
Bee / It’s really hard to make Ocean’s 12 when Ocean’s 11 is
facing 15-20. If you get a job working for Drumpf’s re-election
campaign, they hand you an HR manual and a jumpsuit. I lied, they
don't have HR manuals. --Seth Meyers / Reparations: You know, what’s
funny is with slavery, these people are like ‘Get over it, that’s
history!' But if you try to take down a Confederate statue it’s
like: ‘How dare you, that’s history!’ --Trevor Noah / “I’m
just saying, if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, then why
does it keep goose-stepping? --Stephen Colbert / Congratulations, Mr
President, you are the most narcissistic personality of the year.
He’d probably be happy about it, you know? --Jimmy Kimmel
Not
So Late Night Snacks: George Conway, husband
to senior presidential adviser Kellyanne Conway, is being so
viciously attacked by President Trump you'd think he was a recently
deceased beloved American war hero. --Peter Sagal Wait,
Wait, Don't Tell Me
3/23/19
Not
So Late Night Snacks Update:
The history-making all-female spacewalk has been canceled because
they don't have enough spacesuits in the right size. ~~This is not
a joke, it's true.
The
way of peace is the way of love. Love is the greatest power on
earth. It conquers all things. --Peace Pilgrim
I
thought about cleaning the house...but then I thought, what's the
house done for me lately. --John Wagner / Kim used to sort clothes
into chair-based single pile: too dirty for the closet, too clean for
the laundry, and too tired to care.
..........what's
the matter, what's the matter, what's the matter with you.........La
Toya Jackson …..Think Twice
^^^
Pluto
got its name from 11-year-old Venetia Burney of Oxford, England, who
suggested to her grandfather that the new world get its name from the
Roman god of the underworld. Her grandfather then passed the name on
to Lowell Observatory. The name also honors Percival Lowell, whose
initials are the first two letters of Pluto.
Worthless
Fact of the Week: Julius and Ethel Rosenberg
had two sons, Robert & Michael, who were adopted by Abel &
Anne Meeropol. Abel was a song-writer who wrote, among other things,
Strange Fruit,
which was recorded by Billie Holiday.
Wicked
Funniest Thing I Heard of the Week: Why
couldn't this have been like the ending of Seinfeld; still, still
disappointing but at least they're all in jail. --Stephen Colbert
Weird
Word of the Week:
Zenzizenzizenzic – the eighth power of a number ...from
a famous work by the Welsh-born mathematician Robert Recorde, The
Whetstone of Wit,
published in 1557.
http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-zen1.htm
Wacky
Uses for Common Products:
Remove chewing gum for the bottom of a shoe or sneaker. Spray on
WD-40, wait, and pull the gum free.
http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wd40.html
If
insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting
different results, then I need to stop cleaning the house for my
mental health. / The only thing I hate more than a dirty house is
cleaning.
...........I've
not Grammy, no rewards, I've no Tony Awards.........Eric Idle
…..Diva's Lament (Spamalot)
^^^^
Pluto
is primarily made of ice and rock, 1/6th the mass of our Moon and 1/3
its volume. Light from the sun takes about 5.5 hours to reach Pluto.
It has five moons: Charon, Styn, Nix, Kerberos, and Hydra.
Penultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
Washing: 45 minute / Drying: 60 minutes / Putting Away: 7 – 14
business days
Science
Fiction Convention of the Week:
2019 Furry Fiesta (28-30, Dallas) a yearly gathering of
anthropomorphic art, science fiction, and fantasy fans
https://2019.furryfiesta.org/about/
Actual
Science Convention of the Week:
2019 Eastern Illinois Integrated Conference in Geometry, Dynamics,
and Topology. (29-31, Charleston, IL) ...Building on our long
tradition... https://ux1.eiu.edu/~gdt/2019.html
Puck
the Brave
Episode of the Week:
Here's our fearless Puck, sitting in his comfortable room spying out
of the open door in the case of the Shy Shiba.
I
suffer from ADCD – Attention Deficit Cleaning Disorder. It's where
you start to clean one thing, but get distracted by another thing
that needs cleaning. That causes you to bounce from one job to
another only to end up doing a lot of work with nothing to show for
it.
..........He
hasn't got shit all over him.........Eric Idle …..I'm Being
Repressed (Spamalot)
^^^^^
Because
it has not cleared the neighborhood around its orbit, Pluto is
considered dwarf planet.
Month
of the Week: March is Social Work Month
–Listen, honey, the title is Social Worker, not Miracle Worker. /
Too many people are walking around unmedicated, unsupervised, and
affecting my life.
Final
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: We're
Not Environmentalists, We're Air Breathers. --Submitted by rhb of ks
Grammar
Joke of the Week: I sometimes READ READ as READ when it's
supposed to be READ as READ. --Submitted by ag of ks
Today's
Peace of History, March 29, 1973: The last American combat
troops left South Vietnam, ending direct US military involvement in
the Vietnam War.
All
I want for Christmas is a self-cleaning house. / My daughter wanted a
Cinderella themed party, so I invited all her friends over and made
them clean my house.
..........Here,
he says he's not dead.........Eric Idle …..He Is Not Dead Yet
(Spamalot)
Masthead
of the Week:
Friday ePistle March 29, 2019, sPotless ePistle. Online at:
http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/
Clean laughs, clear peace, and next to Godliness. Exclusive editor:
Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam:
I wanted so badly to study ballet, but it was really all about
wearing the tutu. --Elle Macpherson
Cost
of War:
As
of 3/28/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,910,395,991,918.
As
of 3/21/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,908,390,667,579.
As
of 3/28/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $887,249,769,258.
As
of 3/21/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $885,886,916,511.
As
of 3/28/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $665,056,927,820.
As
of 3/21/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $663,343,623,761.
As
of 3/28/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $306,785,686,485.
As
of 3/21/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $306,396,300,287.
As
of 3/28/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,769,489,189,144.
As
of 3/21/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,764,018,377,026.
One
little person, giving all of her time to peace, makes news. Many
people, giving some of their time, can make history. --Peace Pilgrim
..........And
this'll help things turn out for the best.........Eric Idle
…..Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life (Spamalot)
Cleaning
is only putting things in less obvious places. / I'm going to start
cleaning my house now. And by cleaning, I mean drinking wine and
spraying everything with Febreze.
Famous
Last Words: Glad we could get together.
--John
Cameron Swayze
sign-off
May
Peace clear your path
And
Joy sweep you away
prairie
mama
christine
Last
Laugh: Submitted by ayb of wa
