Completely Different ePistle

Famous First Words: Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. America ... and all the ships at sea. --Walter Winchell

Farewell, well loved, Monty Python: “This morning, shortly after 11 am, comedy struck this little house on Dibley Road. Sudden, violent comedy.” --Flying Circus

..........I was not a born fool it took work to get this way.........Danny Kay …..The Maladjusted Jester (The Court Jester)

Peace is a puzzle waiting to be solved. / Peace is a story waiting to be told.

It is a gloomy Friday morning. The sky is solid gray with little texture or color. 35°F with 14 mph winds make it chilly as well as dark. We walk quickly down the damp sidewalks. There is no birdsong only slamming doors and rumbly car motors. The world reeks of damp, of wet leaves, mud, and grass under water. Two children and their adult pass us on their way to school while Puck dogsplained to them about absolutely everything. The park at the end of the cu-de-sac is yellow and brown. Puck uses its facilities and we turn back towards home. We're walking in the street now because, apparently, we have smelled everything there is to smell on the sidewalk. We return to a saucer of milk and steaming decaf creamed with half and half and sweeten with chemicals. Ahh the good life. Enjoy!

Hope your weekend lobs the proverbial holy hand grenade, ePistliers

“We are three wise men.” “Well, what are you doing creeping around a cow shed at two o’clock in the morning? That doesn’t sound very wise to me.”

..........And the oboe, it is clearly understood is an ill wind that no one blows good.........Danny Kaye …..Anatole of Paris (Secret Life of Walter Mitty)

Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday, Alan Alexander Milne

^ Know what Milne did before Pooh?

^^ Who or what was the original Pooh?

^^^ What do you know about the 100 Acre Wood?

^^^^ What was the very first Pooh item published? (1924)

^^^^^ Remember who illustrated the Pooh books?

Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Kavanaugh offers to pay for wall by recycling his empties. --Borowitz

First Friendly Piece of Advice of the Week: You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks. --Submitted by ajm of ok

Fake Library Statistic of the Week: In 2018 42% of library staff meeting agenda items were about accepting change, which is unchanged since 1999. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

“The BBC wishes to deny rumours that it is going into liquidation. Mrs Kelly, who owns the flat where they live, has said that they can stay on till the end of the month.” --Flying Circus

..........Things you would not do at home.........Danny Kaye …..The Best Things Happen When You're Dancing (White Christmas)

Moonbeam: The profound divergences of opinion on war and peace had been shown to know no sex. --Sylvia Pankhurst

Something to Think About of the Week:

Big Hello: Saludi – Sardinain (Campidanese) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I don't call them New Year's Resolutions. I prefer the term: casual promises to myself that I am under no legal obligation to fulfill.

Week of the Week: National Mocktail Week (1/13-19) Recipe for Shirley Ginger. 4 cups Ginger Beer + 1 cup club soda + 3 tbsp lime juice + ¼ cup grenadine Stir it all together. Pour it over ice into tall glasses . Garnish with lime rounds and/or maraschino cherries.

Son of Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: How could a boy get into the Caupulets' garden? There was a wall. --William Shakespeare --Submitted by sd of ks

DENNIS: We're an anarchosyndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week. But all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting. By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,--ARTHUR: Be quiet! --Holy Grail

..........Gypsy drink, gypsy drink, gypsy drink..........Danny Kaye Gypsy Drinking Song (Inspector General)

^ After attending the University of Cambridge's Trinity College and writing for the literary magazines Granta and Punch, Milne began a successful career as a novelist, poet and playwright in the 1920s.

Almanac: It is Friday, January 18, 2019. The moon will be full (Wolf) on Monday and is in Gemini. It is Women in Blue Jeans Day, Thesaurus Day, Pooh Day, and International Fetish Day. In Tunisia it is Revolution Day (1956) and in Florida its Arbor Day.

Among those born on this day were Peter Roget (1779), Joseph F. Glidden (1813), A.A. Milne and Sylvia Pankhurst (1882), Oliver Hardy (1892), Cary Grant (1904), Danny Kaye (1913), Bobby Goldsboro (1941), and John Hughes (1950).

On January eighteenth Henry VII married Elizabeth (1486), Pizarro founded Lima, Peru (1535), the new world's first UFO was sighted (Boston, 1644), Priate Henry Morgan captured Panama (1671), San Jose, CA, was founded (1777), Capt Cook stumbled across the Hawaiian Islands (1778), the x-ray machine was first demonstration in the US (1896), the WWI Peace Congress opened (1919), Walter Winchell premiered on radio (1929), the sale of presliced bread was banned in the US (1943), Ted Mack's Original Amateur Hour debuted (1948), Monty Python's Flying Circus aired its final episode (1973), gold reached $1,000 an ounce (1980), DC Mayor Marion Barry was arrested in a drug sting (1990), and Liza Marie Presley divorced Michael Jackson (1996).

Night Sky, 1/18: Zero-magnitude Capella on high, and equally bright Rigel in Orion's foot, are at almost the same right ascension. This means they cross your sky’s meridian at almost exactly the same time: around 9 or 10 pm depending on how far east or west you live in your time zone. Tonight the bright moon shines between them. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Max Picture of the Week: I lied. Max thought the animals were so funny, he had a shirt made with their pictures.

This Week: Saturday, January 19 – Tin Can Day & World Day of Migrants and Refugees

Night Sky, 1/19: Castor and Pollux are to the left of the Moon, Betelgeuse is to the right, and Procyon is below it.

Sunday, January 20 – National Cheese Lovers Day & Penguin Awareness Day

Monday, January 21 – Martin Luther King Jr Day & National Crowd Feed Day & National Hugging Day

Night Sky, 1/21: Mercury and Saturn are lost in the sunrise. Venus and Jupiter rise before the first light of dawn. Mars shines high in the southwest at nightfall. Right after dark Uranus is high in the south and Neptune is low in the southwest.

Tuesday, January 22 – Answer Your Cat's Questions Day

Wednesday, January 23 – National Handwriting Day & National Pie Day

Thursday, January 24 – Belly Laugh Day & National Compliment Day & Talk Like A Grizzled Prospector Day

“Alright, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh-water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?” --Life of Brian

..........isn't it great, isn't it grand, isn't it rich...........Danny Kaye …..The King's New Clothes Song (Hans Christian Andersen)

^^ Christopher Robin Milne's stuffed bear, originally named "Edward," was renamed "Winnie" after a Canadian black bear named Winnie (after Winnipeg), which was used as a military mascot in World War I, and left to London Zoo during the war. "The pooh" comes from a swan the young Milne named "Pooh."

'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Why can't we just use thoughts and prayers to protect our border? That is what we use to protect our schools. --The Mystic Sisterhood

Moonbeam: I am going to fight capitalism even if it kills me. It is wrong that people like you should be comfortable and well fed while all around you people are starving. --Sylvia Pankhurst

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: “Police say university bookstore worker stole $20,000 worth of textbooks.” I hope they recover both of the books. --Submitted by sb of ar

Late Night Snacks: “Mr President, steel slats are not the metal bars we want you behind,” --Stephen Colbert / He’s like a rich guy yelling from the Price is Right audience who doesn’t know how much things cost. --Seth Meyers / For some people, an emergency is black people barbecuing; for other people, waiting for those three dots in a text message is an emergency.” --Trevor Noah

Not So Late Night Snacks: Peter Sagal: Research out this week says cyclists have an emotional connection to their bikes, forming bonds akin to that of a spouse or a child. Luther Burbank: I had a Huffy Sweet Thunder that was a hand-me-down that I think I had caught feelings for. Paula Poundstone: Yeah, Huffy Sweet Thunder. Didn't Trump pay her off? --Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me 1/12/19

Peace is a locked door, never knowing what's inside./ Peace is a smile in a world of frowns.

“Good evening. Tonight on ‘Is There?’ we examine the question, ‘Is there a life after death?’ And here to discuss it are three dead people.” --Flying Circus

..........It came down the Amazon from the jungles.........Danny Kaye …..Chica, Chica Boom Chic (On The Riviera)

^^^ The fictional Hundred Acre Wood of the Pooh stories derives from Five Hundred Acre Wood in Ashdown Forest in East Sussex, South East England, where the Pooh stories were set. Milne lived on the northern edge of the forest at Cotchford Farm, and took his son walking there.

Worthless Fact of the Week: First UFO Sighting in the new world. From the journal of John Winthrop: “About midnight, three men, coming in a boat to Boston, saw two lights arise out of the water near the north point of the town cove, in form like a man, and went at a small distance to the town, and so to the south point, and there vanished away.” More Information

Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I can laugh in 23 personalities. --Submitted by rmar of ks

Weird Word of the Week: Quockerwodger – a wooden toy figure which jerks its limbs when pulled by a string or a pseudo-politician, one whose strings of action are pulled by somebody else. http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-quo2.htm

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Make hangers glide over a clothes rod. Spray WD-40 on the clothes rod so hangers can be pushed back and forth easily. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wd40.html

And now the congregation shall rise and sing Hymn 101, 'Get Your Hand Off My Knee, Ya Dirty Old Bastard'. --Spamalot

...........I'm not superstitious about ya.........Danny Kaye …..Knock On Wood (Knock on Wood)

^^^^ Not yet known as Pooh, he made his first appearance in a poem, "Teddy Bear," published in Punch magazine in February 1924 and republished in When We Were Very Young.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Triscuit crackers are the perfect snack for anyone who has had the desire to eat wicker furniture.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Arisia (1/18-21, Boston) New England's Largest, Most Diverse Sci-Fi & Fantasy Convention. https://www.arisia.org/

Actual Science Convention of the Week: 541^st International Conference on Engineering and Natural Science (1/18-19, LA) Scientists, scholars, engineers and students from the Universities all around the world and the industry to present ongoing research activities... https://www.allconferencealert.com/event_detail.php?ev_id=205056

Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck making his bed in the case of the case of the Napping Newfy.

I cut down trees, I wear high heels, suspenders, and a bra. I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear Mama! The Lumberjack Song --Flying Circus

..........of the two adjacent sides.........Danny Kaye …..The Square of the Hypotenuse (Merry Andrew)

^^^^^ E H Shepard illustrated the original Pooh books, using his own son's teddy, Growler ("a magnificent bear"), as the model.

Month of the Week: January is Oatmeal Month –If you cross porridge and ducks you get Quacker Oats. / When I accidentally spilled oatmeal on my son he shouted “Don't be Gruel”.

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: You are dust, and you will return to dust...That's why I don't clean house, it could be someone I know.

Last Friendly Advice of the Week: And the Moon said to me – my darling, you do not have to be whole in order to shine. --Nichole McElhaney --Submitted by ksz of ks

Full Circle of the Week: I just saw an ad for a workshop on Birth: An Intersection Between Maternity and Mental Health. It seems to be about mother's mental health. When I was a kid, Birth Trauma meant something very different. Babies are traumatized by the very act of birth. “Birth can have lasting psychological consequences for the baby. Full Circle. ~~I have long thought that the whole babies-are-traumatized was an ad campaign for the c-section doctors.

Grammar Joke of the Week: A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

Today's Peace of History: January 18, 2007: India sent 125 of its crack policewomen to Liberia to act as UN peacekeepers, the first time the world body has deployed an all-female unit.

What is the air-speed of an unladen swallow? / You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you. --Flying Circus

..........And smile, smile, smile.........Danny Kaye …..Pack Up Your Troubles (On the Double)

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle January 18, 2019, Completely Different ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Peace, Laughs, and Monty Python. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: Love and freedom are vital to the creation and upbringing of a child. --Sylvia Pankhurst

Funniest Thing I Heard of the Week: Irony – the opposite of Wrinkly. --Submitted by ja of ks

Cost of War:

As of 1/10/18 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,890,607,520,414.

As of 1/10/18 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,888,643,043,077.

As of 1/10/18 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $873,801,326,962.

As of 1/10/18 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $872,466,300,039.

As of 1/10/18 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $648,150,323,553.

As of 1/10/18 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $646,472,035,295.

As of 1/10/18 Veterans Care since 2001: $302,943,277,129.

As of 1/10/18 Veterans Care since 2001: $302,561,843,115.

As of 1/10/18 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,715,503,403,617.

As of 1/10/18 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,710,144,316,532.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Peace is a person who gets involved. / Peace is a place where no war will be held. ~~Today's Quotes from Children's Quotes for 2000, International Year for the Culture of Peace

..........You'll feel blue, you'll feel sad.........Danny Kaye …..After You've Gone (The Five Pennies)

And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere out in space, 'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth! The Galaxy Song --Flying Circus

Famous Last Words: ...such service in such position, employment or classification. --Charter of the City of San Jose California.

May Peace (accord, love, reconciliation, amity, concord) attend your nights

And Joy (bliss, cheer, elation, gaiety, gladness, merriment, revelry) attend your days

prairie mama

christine

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