Friday, March 23, 2018

Pluvial ePistle


Famous First Words: Comfort ye my people --Handel's Messiah
The UN has declared this World Meteorological Day ! If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants to play through, let him. --Bob Hope / Electricity is really just organized lightning. --George Carlin
You can tune a piano, but you can't tune a fish. / To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
..........We all have one thing in common.........Chaka Khan …..Life Is A Dance
50 Ways to Promote Peace, #17: When you see someone who is in trouble, help them. http://uncustomary.org/50-ways-promote-peace/
It is a cloudy Friday morning. The sky is full of lumpy gray bundles with light – sometimes pink – shining in around the edges. A breeze insists that we notice the 45°F temperature and acknowledge that spring is still very young. Puck thinks there are squirrels loose and is barking and running the fence and frantically searching the tree limbs. Cooper and Cy are just watching in disbelief; none of us can see the pests that haunt Puck. Except for Puck it is a peaceful morning with minimal motor noise and birdsong every where. The grass is finally beginning to green up and trees and bushes have begun to spout knobs of various colors. The color brightens the winter hues and shines hope onto the sleeping flora. A starling trills in the tree warning his murmuration that dogs are loose in this yard; a quarrel of sparrows in the same tree discuss the issue and decide they don't care about dogs. I begin to feel the cold and try to round up Puck from his imaginary squirrel frenzy. I have to pick him up and carry him while the other dogs herd the two of us to the gate. The house smells of brewing coffee and laundry soap; but it is warm and there is no wind. Now, Puck is deep into his early morning nap and I am sitting – taste of Moose Munch rolling down my tongue – writing to you. It may be a little agitated but it is a great day after all.
Hope your weekend suits your clothes, ePistliers.
It's so dry in Kansas the catfish are carrying canteens. / Kansas is so dry pissing outdoors is called irrigation.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered. / He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.
..........Are you willing to try.........Chaka Khan …..All Night's All Right
Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday to the University of California !
^ In what city did the university first open?
^^ In about what year did Uof C admit women?
^^^ Any idea how many UofC campuses there are these days?
^^^^ More or less how many students does UofC accommodate?
^^^^^ Care to guess how many Nobel prizes faculty and researchers from UofC have accumulated?
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Growing your own tomatoes is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.
Art Moment of the Week: We finally made it to the Picasso exhibit at the Nelson, Through the eyes of Picasso ... a special exhibit of Picasso's work and Picasso's indigenous art collection. I expected to see African art...African art..Picasso influenced by it. And that was certainly one of the many things going on there. That's what I went to see and I saw that and loved it. Some things I didn't expect – how much of it there was...lots of African, Asian, etc. art...Lots of Picasso art...lots of it. I didn't realize he had done so much sculpture. There are several paintings on wood – one on a wooden cabinet door with a hinge still attached. It was very well curated, easy to see, you could get close enough to see, well lit, etc. Dallas said – these figures are all women – then we came to the penis room – not all women. There were also lots of pictures and quotes and general information as well as artifact specific information. It was busy but not crowded and the people were varied – several infants and toddlers, for instance. It had a variety of Picasso styles and periods. It went on and on and on. I had a very good time and recommend it for anyone in the area. It's only there through April 8th.
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 75% of library books on staying organized are currently shelved incorrectly; other 25% are missing https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Why does moisture destroy leather? When it's raining, cows don't go up to the farmhouse yelling, “Let us in! We're all wearing leather! We're going to ruin the whole outfit here!”. --Jerry Seinfeld / Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. / I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
..........I rang like a bell with your laughter.........Chaka Khan …..Fate
Moonbeam: Life's most important questions are, for the most part, nothing but probability problems. --Pierre-Simon Laplace
Something to Think About of the Week:

Big Hello: Ciau РMon̩gasque (Monaco, Italy, France) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Week of the Week: National Button Week (March 18-24) – Facebook needs these three buttons: Dislike / Who Cares / You're An Idiot
There were twin tornadoes playing Twister with barns, houses, tractors, and silos as the categories. / It's been so hot here, farmers are coating popcorn in the field with sunscreen.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. / Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
..........Once I was a sentimental thing.........Chaka Khan …..Spring Can Really Hang You Up The Most
^ The University of California was founded in 1868 and operated temporarily in Oakland until opening its first campus in Berkeley in 1873.
Almanac: It is Friday, March 23, 2018. The moon will be first quarter tomorrow and is in Gemini. It is World Meteorological Day, National Puppy Day, National Chia Day, National Tamale Day, Near Miss Day, and OK Day. In Bolivia it is Memorial Day and in Lithuana (1918) and the Sudan (1956) it is Independence Day. Finally, Pakistan is celebrating Republic Day (1956).
Among those born on this day were John Bartram (1699), Pierre-Simon Laplace (1749), William Smith (1769), Schuyler Colfax (1823), Leon Minkus (1826), Fannie Farmer (1857), Erich Fromm (1900), Akira Kurosawa (1910), Werner von Braun (1912), Christopher Glenn (1938), Chaka Chan (1953), Louie Anderson (1953), and Moses Malone (1954).
On March twenty-third Halley's Comet was recorded for the 18th time (1066), The Treaty of Konstanz was signed (1153), Handel's Messiah premiered (1743), Lewis and Clark reached the Pacific (1806), "OK" was first seen in print (1839), Otis installed his first elevator (1857), the streetcar was patented (1858), the University of California was founded (1868), the first jazz concert was held in Carnegie Hall (1891), the Dixie Cup was invented (1912), Tennessee outlawed the teaching of evolution (1925), a telephone was installed in the White House (1929),Truth or Consequences first aired (1940), Oklahoma State beat North Carolina in the 8th NCAA championship (1946), the UN World Meteorological Organization was established (1950), and Reagan introduced his "Star Wars" plan (SDI, 1983).
Night Sky, 3/23: The moon joins the lineup of Betelgeuse, the Taurus horntips, and Capella. Now that it's spring, the signature fall-and-winter constellation Cassiopeia is retreating downward after dark. But for skywatchers at mid-northern latitudes Cassiopeia is circumpolar, never going away completely. Look for it fairly low in the north-northwest these evenings. It's still standing nearly on end. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: (Re)Generation Who 2018 (March 23-25, Baltimore, MD) ...an awesome three-day Doctor Who Fan Convention https://regenerationwho.com/about/
Actual Science Convention of the Week: The Consortium for Computing Science in Colleges Southwest Region Conference. promotes quality computer-oriented curricula, and the effective use of computing, in institutions of higher learning which are typically non-research in orientation. http://www.ccsc.org/southwestern/index.php
This Week: Saturday, March 24 – Take Your Parents to the Playground Day & Be Mad Day
Night Sky, 3/24: This evening the Moon shines high above Orion, in the feet of Gemini below Castor and Pollux.
Sunday, March 25 – Pecan Day & Tolkien Reading Day & Vaffeldagen (Waffle Day)
Monday, March 26 – Live Long and Prosper Day & Purple Day
Night Sky, 3/26: Upper right of the moon this evening, you'll find the Pleiades. Upper left of the Moon are Aldebaran and the Hyades.
Tuesday, March 27 – Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day & Viagra Day
Wednesday, March 28 – Weed Appreciation Day & Whole Grain Sampling Day
Night Sky, 3/28: Castor and Pollux shine together nearly overhead in the south after dark. Pollux is slightly the brighter of these "twins." Draw a line from Castor through Pollux, follow it farther out by a big 26° (about 2½ fist-widths at arm's length), and you're at the dim head of Hydra, the Sea Serpent
Thursday, March 29 – National Vietnam War Veterans Day & Little Red Wagon Day
It is so hot when I turned on my lawn sprinkler all I got was steam. / Apparently the best way to get through bad weather is to talk about it incessantly.
A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail. / The will is a dead giveaway.
..........Don't be afraid, not tonight.........Chaka Khan …..So Not To Worry
^^ In 1871, the Board of Regents stated that women should be admitted on an equal basis with men.
'Nother Funniest thing I Read of the Week: March Madness...The only place where you hear “Kansas is advancing.” --Bill Maher
Happy National Puppy Day:

Moonbeam: Progress in civilization has been accompanied by progress in cookery. --Fannie Farmer
Late Night Snacks: There are new developments in the case of Stormy Daniels, the adult film star who may or definitely did have sex with Donald Trump. She is trying to raise money to pay her legal fees. She launched a fundraising page on a website called CrowdJustice.com. So now you can give money to a porn star just like the president of the United States. --Jimmy Kimmel / Today, President Trump had a meeting with Bill Gates. At one point, both looked at each other and went, “Wow, what a terrible haircut.” Gates and Trump actually have a lot in common, because they’ve both given away millions of dollars. Gates calls it philanthropy, while Trump calls it hush money. --Jimmy Fallon / Special counsel Robert Mueller subpoenaed the Trump Organization to turn over documents, making it the first time Mueller demanded documents directly from Trump’s businesses. You think Trump’s businesses keep records? The Trump University textbooks were just Wikipedia pages printed out and stapled together. --Seth Meyers / Elon Musk has announced that his company SpaceX will be ready to fly an unmanned rocket to Mars and back by 2019. And shortly thereafter, they’ll be able to send people there to colonize the planet. You know, just in case you-know-who is re-elected to the you-know-what. The name of the rocket is the BFR, or the Big Falcon Rocket. And I’ve got to tell you, it’s pretty mother-falcon impressive. When I saw it, I was like, “What the falc? Are you falcon kidding me?” --James Corden / “60 Minutes” just interviewed Betsy DeVos and they’re about to interview Stormy Daniels. That’s right, two women equally qualified to be education secretary. --Conana O'Brien / This past Saturday, Trump’s attorney, John Dowd, called for “the immediate shutdown of the special counsel probe into Russian interference in the 2016 election.” Dowd made the demand in an email sent to a reporter that was written in purple Comic Sans. Really! Sounds inappropriate until you remember that the Declaration of Independence was originally written in Wingdings. --Stephen Colbert
Not So Late Night Snacks: Now, Secretary Tillerson's successor is apparently going to be current CIA director Mike Pompeo. And he's getting the job because - and this is true - the president likes his "lively intelligence briefings."... Mr. President, what's behind your ear? Why, it's a shiny threat assessment. --Peter Sagal Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me
50 Ways to Promote Peace, #16: Make art installations with the word “peace” or peace symbols.
The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco. --Mark Twain / Santa called. He wants his weather back.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months. / I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.
..........Everybody had an answer.........Chaka Khan …..The Woman I Am
^^^ Nine campuses enroll both undergraduate and graduate students; one campus, UC San Francisco, enrolls only graduate and professional students in the medical and health sciences. In addition, the UC Hastings College of Law, located in San Francisco, is legally affiliated with UC, but other than sharing its name is entirely autonomous from the rest of the system. *Berkeley *San Diego *San Francisco *Los Angeles *Santa Barbara *Irvine *Davis *Santa Cruz *Riverside *Merced
Worthless Fact of the Week: In 1857 the first Otis passenger elevator was installed at 488 Broadway in NYC. Soon after, the Otis elevator appeared in the Eiffel Tower and the Empire State Building.
Weird Word of the Week: Carborexia – an extreme dark green attitude toward environmental issues. What do you think: Is carborexia a mental condition or a noble way of living? --US News & World Report, 21 Oct. 2008 http://www.worldwidewords.org/turnsofphrase/tp-car2.htm
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Vladimir Putin could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and he wouldn't lose Donald Trump's vote.
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Shine china. Add one-half cup 20 Mule Team Borax to a sinkful of warm water, rinse fine china, then rinse again in clean water. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/20muleteam.html
You know it's been along winter when your leg hair has split ends. / Dear Mother Nature, get back on your meds, pop open a bottle of wine, and start thinking warm, happy thoughts.
This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore. / I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
...........You just might be the blessing.........Chaka Khan …..Pop My Clutch
^^^^ Governed by a semi-autonomous Board of Regents, the University of California has 10 campuses, a combined student body of 251,700 students, 21,200 faculty members, 144,000 staff members and over 1.86 million living alumni as of October 2016
Word Shakespeare Made Up of the Week: Unreal – so strange as to appear imaginary. Macbeth Act II Scene IV –Macbeth: Hence, horrible shadow! Unreal mockery, hence!
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I saw a MAGA Mom account tweets the #NationalWalkoutDay was an attempt by the Left to organize your children. Oh, sweetie. It's worse than that. Your children are organizing the Left. --Submitted by sb of ar and abf of ks
Science at Home on the Internet of the Week: Make a Rainbow in A Glass (Density Demonstration) https://www.thoughtco.com/rainbow-in-a-glass-density-demonstration-604258
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's Cooper, tail raised on high, loping along after a suspect in case of the Trotting Toy Fox.
Some Pros of Global Warming: Helsinki – the new Riviera / Now golfers only need a putter and a sand wedge.
..........You can dance the dance 'til the mornin' comes.........Chaka Khan …..Soul Talkin'
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool. / Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
^^^^^ University of California faculty and researchers having won 62 Nobel Prizes as of 2016.
Month of the Week: March is Optimism Month – The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer. --Will Rogers / Optimism is a Trump employee who irons five shirts on a Sunday.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The past tense of William Shakespeare is Wouldiwas Shookspeared
Most Beautiful Thing in the State: Lye Brook Falls, Vermont. This is a great waterfall, easily one of Vermont's finest! The trail is completely straightforward. 2.3 miles to the falls, gaining about 800-900 feet in elevation, then losing about 200' to the falls. http://northeastwaterfalls.com/waterfall.php?num=212&p=1
Today's Peace of History, March 23, 1984: One thousand boats, known informally as the Auckland Harbour Peace Squadron, demonstrated against arrival of the nuclear submarine, USS Queenfish in New Zealand.
Some Pros of Global Warming: No more paying for tattoos, melanoma is free. / Furnaces convert easily into tornado shelters.
When you get a bladder infection; urine trouble. / When chemists die, they barium.
Today's lexophile blurbs were submitted by bg of wi
..........Keeps raining all the time.........Chaka Khan …..Stormy Weather
Masthead of the Week: fRiday ePistle, March 23, 2018, Pluvial ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Peace, Love, and Sunshine. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS 66046
Moonbeam: Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties. --Erich Fromm
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If more guns are the answer to gun violence are more donuts the cure for the obesity epidemic? --Wiley Miller
Cost of War: National Priorities is changing the way it calculates war spending. The old dollars spent on all wars has been changed to
Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,805,744,496,905.
This figure adds in odds and ends in other countries beside Iraq and Afghanistan.
last week this total was $1,822,450,651,441.
To the military costs they have added
As of 3/22/18 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $816,127,667,426
As of 3/22/18 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $575,646,332,886.
As of 3/22/18 Veterans Care since 2001: $286,465,130,841.
to get a new
As of 3/22/18 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,483,985,581,282.
~~These do not add up exactly because beginning numbers change before I get the end numbers recorded. But more or less. ~~I understand that not all military money was being counted, but I still feel a little confused. We'll see what happens.
50 Ways to Promote Peace, #15: Never honk you car horn unless you're unsafe. (~~or the peace vigil which has a sign that says “Honk For Peace”.
..........There's nothing left to say.........Chaka Khan …..Caught In The Act
Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it. / Those who get too big for their britches will be totally exposed in the end.
The Time To Act Is Now,’ Says Yellowing Climate Change Report Sitting In University Archives. / “You may not care about climate change, but I know you care about winning, which is why you’re not going to let climate change kick your ass by flooding your winter wonderland. Come on President Trump, it’s time for you to stand up and tell the world: “Nobody sinks your properties but you.” --Trevor Noah
Famous Last Words: for ever and ever. Amen --Handel's Messiah
May Peace rain down on you
And Joy flood your way
prairie mama
christine


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