Friday, June 16, 2017

bLooming ePistle

Famous First Words: Pour, oh pour, the pirate sherry --Pirates of Penzance
Today is Bloomsday – the day of the action of the novel Ulysses by James Joyce, June 16, 1904. Ah, Joyce, a man after my own fart. Graduate students of English and people who love crude humor get together on this day and read the text aloud to each other while consuming copious amounts of liquor. I've never done this; I'm afraid it would give a fatal fart attack.
..........So please read them closely...........Brian Eno …..Back in Judy's Jungle
Peace does not just mean putting an end to violence or war, but to all other factors that threaten peace, such as discrimination, such as inequality, poverty. --Aung San Suu Kyi
It is a beautiful Friday morning. The sky is smeared with a thin layer of white liquid with hints of blue showing through here and there from behind. There is no breeze to caress the leaves or play with the 67°F temperature; even the willow tree is still. The ground is still damp from last night's rain and smell of mud but the pavement is dry and does not add it's stony aroma to the dawning potpourri. Birds across the neighborhood are praising the morning, calls and answers, cheeps and peeps, and a low whoooooooooo from an unseen morning dove. Unfortunately this is counterpointed by Puck's loud, belligerent, one-way conversation with a squirrel who was seen under the feeder but now hides in the thick foliage of the tree behind the back fence. I breathe in deep lungfuls of fresh air and wander around the perimeter until the Puck-Squirrel exchange has ended. It is a beautiful morning and we are reluctant to leave...but creamy sweet coffee and you await. That moves us.
Hope your weekend is the father of all fun, epistliers.
I farted...that is as close to me giving shit as you're gonna get. / James Joyce had Pop Farts for breakfast.
..........At my degree of uncertainty...........Brian Eno …..Golden Hours
Trivia Questions: Happy Flip Flop Day !
^ Why are they called Flip Flops?
^^ How old is the oldest known flip flop?
^^^ When did the “modern” flip flop gain popularity in the US?
^^^^ Care to guess how many pairs were produced in 2010?
^^^^^ Do you remember where Obama was when he was photographed in flip flops?
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: By the end of their career, the average librarian will have spent an entire year sharpening tiny pencils. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Moonbeam: Humor is the truth; wit is an exaggeration of the truth. --Stan Laurel
(Ulysses is) a work of a queasy undergraduate scratching his pimples. --Virginia Woolf / Graduate Students in English only read Joyce once a year on Bloomsday because absence makes the fart grow fonder.
..........is no longer alone among the dragonflies...........Brian Eno …..Here He Comes
Something to Think About of the Week:

Big Hello: Салам! (Salam) – Kyrgyz {Kyrgyzstan}
Week of the Week: National Hermit Week (June 13-30) – Hermits United: We meet up every ten years, swap stories about caves. It's good fun for a hermit.
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Garden State Mega Fest (June 17-18, Monroe Township, NJ) Featuring a Karate Kid Reunion...http://www.gardenstatemegafest.com/
Children are like farts; you don't mind your own, but other people stink. / My only real goal in life is to fart loud enough to trigger a car alarm.
..........Playing blackjack in the drive-in...........Brian Eno …..Crime in the Desert
^ The name “flip flop” comes specifically from the sound the sandals make when they slap between the sole of your foot and the floor.
Almanac: It is Friday, June 16, 2017. The moon will be last quarter tomorrow and is in Pisces. The United Nations has declared this International Day of Family Remittances. It is also Bloomsday, Fudge Day, Ladies' Day at the Baseball Field, National Flip Flop Day, and Ugliest Dog Day.
Among those born on this day were Stan Laurel (1895), Nelson Doubleday (1899), Barbara McClintock (1902), E.G. Marshall (1910), Katharine Graham (1917), John Howard Griffin (1920), August Busch III (1937), Erich Segal (1937), Joyce Carol Oates (1938), and Brian Eno (1948).
On June sixteenth the Persian Era began (632), Mary Queen of Scots was thrown in the pokey, the Ancient Arabic Order of Nobles of the Mystic Shrine was founded (NYC, 1871), HMS Pinafore debuted (1879), the NY Gothams offered the first "Ladies Day" at the park (1883), Ford Motor Company was incorporated (1903), Bloomsday (1904), the first Congress of Soviets convened (Moscow, 1917), the National Industrial Recovery Act became law (1933), Dave Garroway was fired as Today Show host (1961), Brezhnev became president of the USSR (1977), and Boris Yeltsin became president of the USSR (1991).
Night Sky, 6/16: By the time it's fully dark this week, Altair is shining well up in the east. A finger-width above it or to its upper left is its little sidekick Tarazed (Gamma Aquilae), actually an orange giant that's far in the background. Altair is 17 light-years from us; Tarazed is about 460. 

 
 
This Week: Saturday, June 17 – Eat Your Vegetables Day & World Juggling Day
Sunday, June 18 – Clark Kent's Birthday & International Sushi Day
Night Sky, 6/18: The last-quarter Moon rises late tonight, around 1 am watch for it to breach the horizon to the lower right of the Great Square of Pegasus.
Monday, June 19 – Garfield the Cat Day & Juneteenth & World Sauntering Day
Tuesday, June 20 – American Eagle Day & National Hike with a Geek Day
Night Sky, 6/20: After dark, Vega is the brightest star very high in the east. Just lower left of it (or upper left in this photo) is 4th-magnitude Epsilon Lyrae, the Double-Double. Epsilon forms one corner of a roughly equilateral triangle with Vega and Zeta Lyrae.
Wednesday, June 21 – Summer Solstice & Cuckoo Warning Day & World Music Day
Thursday, June 22 – Global Smurfs Day & Stupid Guy Thing Day
Night Sky, 6/21: The Big Dipper has swung around to hang down by its handle high in the northwest during evening. The middle star of its handle is Mizar, with tiny Alcor right next to it.
Ultimately, Ulysses is to literature what The Birth of a Nation is to film; a impressively horrible work that may (possibly) be admired but cannot (surely) be enjoyed. --Joe Carter / A fart by any other name would smell as acrid.
..........I'm the happiest man in all the world ...........Brian Eno …..Juju Space Jazz
^^ The oldest known pair of flip flops is on display at the British Museum; they are from Egypt in 1500 BCE.
Funniest thing I read of the Week: Every country is like a particular type of person. America is like a belligerent, adolescent boy; Canada is like an intelligent, 35-year-old woman. Australia is like Jack Nicholson. It comes right up to you and laughs very hard in your face in a highly threatening and engaging manner. --Douglas Adams
Moonbeam: A mistake is simply another way of doing things. –Katharine Graham
Late Night Snacks: Yesterday, Rafael Nadal won the French Open and became the first man to win 10 titles at any major tournament. When asked what his secret is, he said, “Not having to play Serena Williams.” --Jimmy Fallon / People are calling Comey’s testimony Washington’s Super Bowl, and I hear Animal Planet is even airing the “Puppy Comey Testimony.” --Stephen Colbert / A birth control pill has been recalled due to a packaging error that puts placebo pills at the beginning of the pack rather than at the end. So pick up a pack today at Unplanned Parenthood. --Seth Meyers / So because these were uncomfortable conversations, Comey told Attorney General Jeff Sessions he did not want any future direct communication with President Drumpf. Melania said the same thing, by the way. It didn’t work out for either of them. --Jimmy Kimmel / Everybody here [in the U.K.] is talking about the election. If you’re watching this in Britain, you already know who the prime minister is. If you are watching this in America, you already don’t care who the prime minister is. We taped this show a day before, so as it stands right now, we don’t know what happened in this election. Meanwhile, in America, their election was last year and they still don’t know what happened in their election --James Corden / In Massachusetts, a medical marijuana dispensary has begun selling marijuana-infused pizza. Or as that’s known, “one-stop shopping.” --Conan O'Brien
Not So Late Night Snacks: ...having tape out in the world saying embarrassing, idiotic things about sex will either ruin your life or in select cases make you president. --Peter Sagal Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me
Peace can only last where human rights are respected, where the people are fed, and where individuals and nations are free. --14th Dalai Lama
If people are talking about you behind your back, fart. / If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I'd fart. / If you fart while wearing a thong does it whistle?
..........More lights, blue signs, all gold...........Brian Eno …..A Different Kind of Blue
^^^ At the end of WWII, flip fops were brought to the US from solders bringing zōri back from Japan.
Worthless Fact of the Week: The First All-Russian Congress of Soviets of Workers 'and Soldiers' Deputies (June 16 - July 7, 1917) was convened by the National Conference of the Soviets. It was dominated by pro-government parties (Socialist-Revolutionaries, etc.) and confirmed the supremacy of the Russian Provisional Government.
Weird Word of the Week: Moggie or Mog – cat (sitcom: Are You Being Served) – In the 18th century it was a name for a cow or calf. In the 19th century it referred to an untidily dressed woman. In the 20th century it became a pet name for a cat. http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-mog1.htm
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Make a space-age screwdriver. Mix Tang with vodka. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/tang.html
When you have to read a book length companion guide in order to grasp the story, though, something has gone terribly askew. The only other comparable literary work that requires such scholarly aids for understanding is the Bible. But at least that was inspired by God . What was Joyce’s excuse for such pretentiousness? --Joe Carter / I heard a rumor that they found another Joyce manuscript. They're going to publish it under the title Ulysses Fart II.
...........How many people will we feed today...........Brian Eno …..How Many Worlds
^^^^ By 2010, more than 150 million pairs of the sandals were being produced each year.
Word Shakespeare Made Up of the Week: Jaded – tired, sated, bored, glutted. King Henry VI, Part II Act IV Scene I Suffolk: The honourable blood of Lancaster must not be shed by such a jaded groom.
Fun Thing on the Internet of the Week: Creation Science 101 by Roy Zimmerman. “Don't let em' hand you that old jive about survival of the fittest that notion don't pass the bullshit test 'cause look at me, I'm still alive” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIwiPsgRrOs
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck with his faithful companion, Pax, arguing with wind in the case of the blowing Bergamasco.
If you fart loudly in public, just yell “Jet Power” and start walking fast. / What is invisible and smells like carrots? A bunny fart
..........Remember me, remember me.........Brian Eno …..Some of Them Are Old
^^^^^ President Obama was photographed standing in line at an ice cream shop wearing flip flops. http://nypost.com/2011/01/05/thats-quite-a-feet-bam-first-flip-flop-president/
Month of the Week: June is Skyscraper Month. --How many animals can jump higher than a skyscraper? All of them, skyscrapers can't jump. / Science flies you to the moon; religion flies you into skyscrapers.
Most Beautiful Thing in the State: Maroon Bells in Colorado...a reflective lake and two giant snow-striped mountaintops anchor a blissful panorama...http://www.colorado.com/articles/explore-maroon-bells-what-you-need-know
Today's Peace of History June 16, 1965: A planned civil disobedience turned into a five-hour teach-in on the steps and inside the Pentagon about the escalating war in Vietnam. In two days, more than 50,000 leaflets were distributed without interference at the building that houses the U.S. Department of Defense. A World War II artillery officer, Gordon Christiansen, turned in his honorable discharge certificate in protest.
I fart because it is the only gas I can afford. / I don't always fart, but when I do people ask me what cologne I am wearing.
..........There are tins, there was pork...........Brian Eno …..Third Uncle
Masthead of the Week: fRiday ePistle June 16, 2017. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Yada Yada Yada. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS 66046
Moonbeam: I know my corn plants intimately, and I find it a great pleasure to know them. --Barbara McClintock
Cost of War:
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 6/15/17: $774,727,439,016.
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 6/7/17: $774,071,330,322.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 6/15/17: $820,574,431,205.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 6/7/17: $820,555,253,998.
Tax dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 6/15/17: $15,451,253,814.
Tax dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 6/7/17: $15,350,386,805.
Tax dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 6/15/17: $152,168,035,948.
Tax dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 6/7/17: $151,606,798,617.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 6/15/17: $1,767,694,525,302.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 6/7/17: $1,766,324,197,829.
A political struggle that does not have women at the heart of it, above it, below it, and within it is no struggle at all. --Arundhati Roy
..........cyclones and revolutions...........Brian Eno …..Everybody's Mother
Ulysses , in other words, is the highbrow literary equivalent of an Adam Sandler movie. --Joe Carter https://www.firstthings.com/blogs/firstthoughts/2009/06/oh-how-i-hate-ulysses-a-bloomsday-rant / I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different. --Kurt Vonnegut
Famous Last Words: Peace --Dave Garroway
May Peace be your chocolate
And Joy your nuts
prairie mama
christine




Last Laugh of the Week:

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