Friday, June 23, 2017

mIsmatched ePistle

Famous First Words: This is the night... Lady and the Tramp
It's Meet A Mate Week (June 18-24). I can't believe how convenient online dating is! Now, my dream of finding love can be crushed more efficiently and in the privacy of my own home.
..........The sun again will shine bright and clear. .........June Carter Cash …..Keep on the Sunny Side
“There’s a gap somehow between empathy and activism. Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. spoke of soul force, something that emanates from a deep truth inside of us and empowers us to act. Once you identify your inner genius, you will be able to take action, whether it’s writing a check or digging a well.” --Sue Monk Kidd
It is a quiet Friday morning. The sky has wrapped itself in thick gray clouds that threaten rain. Not-quite-light hangs over the earth magnifying the sense of expectation. There is a light breeze from the north that silently moves the ends of tree limbs and whole limbs of young trees but does not move the tea rose bush nor spread the fragrance of the pink flowers blooming atop. Birds are staying abed until the weather sorts itself out, so little birdsong on today's soundtrack at dawn. A few muted motor sounds from the distance hint at activity not in evidence. But here even Puck and Pax make little sound as they check out the backyard. They do not eve seem disappointed that there are no pedestrians or joggers on the streets to protect against. The gloom takes on a greenish hue from the abundance of grass and leaves framing pieces of the world for the eye. It seems to be slowly lowering the sky. So Puck and I return indoors to the smell of coffee and thoughts of our friends. With a cup of fresh decaf creamed and sweetened in hand and wonderful thoughts of you, I say to you, what a wonderful morning.
Hope your weekend is your best date ever, ePistliers.
I worry that my soulmate is on a different dating site. / Your online dating application has been denied. A bullet is not an acceptable answer to what you want in a man.
..........The taste of love is sweet.........June Carter Cash …..Ring of Fire
Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday C.A.B.
^ What was the mission of the Civil Aeronautics Authority?
^^ To what did the Civil Aeronautics Authority change it's name in 1940?
^^^ Care to guess which first accident was the first to be investigated?
^^^^ Which government agency took over accident investigation in 1967?
^^^^^ What happened to CAB in the Airline Deregulation Act of 1978?
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: Your “librarian name” is your first name and your last name, followed by a deep sigh. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Reader Response of the Week: Where I came from (southeast Ks), flipflops were called thongs. That term wouldn't properly indicate the apparel anymore. --ab of ks
Moonbeam: The only unnatural sex act is that which you cannot perform. --Alfred Kinsey
I wish there was an online dating website for people who hate online dating. / Wow, you're hot, straight AND single? I can't wait to find out what's wrong with you.
...........Lord have mercy on me..........June Carter Cash …..Kneeling Drunkard's Plea
Something to Think About of the Week:

Big Hello: בוינוס דייאס - Buenos diyas – Ladino (a Jewish language spoken in Israel, Turkey, & Greece)
Weekend of the Week: Water Ski Days (June 23-25) –I gave my boyfriend a pair of water skis for his birthday and now he's gone off looking for an ocean with a sloop.
Pre- Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I've got nothing against God. It's his Fan Club I can't stand. --submitted by ma of oh
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: PortConMaine 2017 – Enjoy the Carnival ! (June 22-25, South Portland ME) Maine's Geek Culture Celebration. http://portconmaine.com/site/
Based on the content of your online dating profile, I am guessing literacy is not one of the characteristics we share. / It was love at first page load.
..........I got tired of New York City, of its sidewalks and its heat.........June Carter Cash …..Gatsby's Restaurant
^ The Civil Aeronautics Act provided for an agency of the federal government to regulate aviation services, including scheduled passenger airline service, and provide air accident investigation.
Almanac: It is Friday, June 23, 2017. The moon is new today and is in Leo. The United Nations has declared this Public Service Day and International Widows' Day. It is also Let It Go Day, National Hydration Day, Runner's Selfie Day, SAT Math Day, Typing Day, and Pink Flamingo Day (Lawn Ornaments). In Scandinavia generally it is Midsummer Eve aka St. John's Eve; while Luxembourg celebrates the official birthday of the Grand Duke of Luxembourg. Because it is the first Friday after Father's Day is it Take Your Dog To Work Day and because it is the fourth Friday it is National Eat At A Food Truck Day.
Among those born on this day were Josephine Martinique (1763), Carl Milles (1875), Irvin S Cobb (1876), Alfred Kinsey (1894), Duke of Windsor (King Edward VIII, 1894), Jean Anouilh (1910), William P Rogers (1913), Francis Thorne (1922), June Carter Cash (1929), Donn F Eisele (1930), Bert Convy (1933), and Joey Allen (1964).
On June twenty-third Penn signed a friendship treaty with Lenni Lenape (the only treaty "not sworn to, nor broken", 1683), the first regatta was held on the Thames (1775), John Jacob Astor organized the Pacific Fur Co (1810), congress established the Government Printing Office and the US Secret Service (1860), the type-writer was patented (1868), the Civil Aeronautics Authority was established (1938), Thomas Mann became a US citizen (1944), Truman's veto of the Taft-Hartley Act was overridden by congress (1947), Marineland opened in Florida (US 1st aquarium, 1938), women first graduate from Harvard Medical School (1949), Lady & the Tramp was released (1955), Nasser was elected president of Egypt (1956), Jim Ryan set record of a 3 minutes 51.1 second mile (1967), Burger was sworn in as Chief Justice and Frazier beat Quarry for the heavyweight title (1969), Nixon & Haldeman agreed to use the CIA to cover up Watergate (1972), the CCN Tower in Toronto opened (1976), Tip O'Neill refused to let Reagan address the house (1986), Billy Martin ended his 4th term as Yankees manager (1988), and a rally was held at the Statue of Liberty to save Alien Nation from cancellation (1990).
Night Sky, 6/23: This is the time of year when, after dark, the dim Little Dipper floats straight upward from Polaris (the end of its handle) — like a helium balloon on a string escaped from some summer evening party. Through light pollution, however, all you may see of the Little Dipper are Polaris at its bottom and Kochab, the lip of the Little Dipper's bowl, at the top.
This Week: Saturday, June 24 – Celebration of the Senses & International Fairy Day aka Faerie Day
Sunday, June 25 – Day of the Seafarer & Global Beatles Day
Night Sky, 6/25: Leo the Lion is a constellation of late winter and spring. But he's not gone yet. As twilight ends, look due west, rather low, for Regulus, his brightest and now lowest star: the forefoot of the Lion stick figure. The Sickle of Leo extends upper right from Regulus. The rest of the Lion's constellation figure extends for almost three fist-widths to the upper left, to end with his tail star, Denebola, the highest. He's walking down to the western horizon.
Monday, June 26 – National Canoe Day & Please, Take My Children To Work Day
Tuesday, June 27 – IWW Day & National Sunglasses Day
Night Sky, 6/27: Venus shines bright in the east during dawn. Uranus is low in the glow of dawn. Neptune is well up in the southeast before the first light of dawn. Mercury is hidden in the glare of the sun.
Wednesday, June 28 – International Body Piercing Day
Thursday, June 29 – National Bomb Pop Day & National Hand Shake Day
Night Sky, 6/29: Jupiter shines high and bright in the southwest during the evening. Saturn glows yellowish low in the southeast in twilight. Mars is lost in the sunset.
So, I'm sorry that my online dating profile gave you the impression I'm actually interested in online dating. / Match.com just suggested I give up.
..........Only one thing wrong with a pretty good song........June Carter Cash …..No Swallerin' Place
^^ The Civil Aeronautics Authority Act of 1938 formed the Civil Aeronautics Authority. The agency was renamed Civil Aeronautics Board in 1940, due to a merger with the Air Safety Board.
Funniest thing I read of the Week: 
                                                                                                                             --submitted by pt of ks
Moonbeam: Beauty is one of the rare things which does not lead to doubt of God. --Jean Anouilh
Late Night Snacks: Two hundred Democrats got together to give the president something he might like. But instead, they’re suing Drumpf over foreign payments to his businesses. At least they got together to give him this card: “Congratulations, birthday boy, you’ve been served.” --Stephen Colbert / Fox News is dropping its slogan “fair and balanced.” Instead, it will be replaced with the more appropriate slogan “blondes and Hannity. National Geographic’s new slogan is “basically the Playboy Channel for chimpanzees.” BBC America is changing their slogan to “dumber BBC.” --Jimmy Fallon / A United Airlines employee is under fire for pushing over a 71-year-old passenger. Or as the CEO of United put it, “We’re back, baby!” --Conan O'Brien / Ikea recently announced that it will be launching a candle collection, because what goes together better than Ikea furniture and an open flame? --Seth Meyers / A French fashion label is now offering a pair of $570 jeans that come without a butt. There’s nothing in the butt. I have got to tell you, these jeans are a great way of telling your friends and coworkers that your father never paid enough attention to you. They should call these Republican healthcare jeans because there is barely any coverage. --James Corden / The president had an interesting lunch yesterday with Republican senators where he had some surprisingly strong criticism of the Republican healthcare bill. He called the bill “mean, cold-hearted, and a son of a bitch.” He does know the bill is not Bill Cosby or Bill O’Reilly, right? --Jimmy Kimmel
Not So Late Night Snack: The president began his first ever cabinet meeting by going around the table and having every single secretary effusedly praise him. It was the most obsequious suck uppy of a cabinet since the dishes from Beauty and the Beast sang Be Our Guest --Peter Sagal Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me
“Don’t let complexity stop you. Be activists. Take on the big inequities. It will be one of the great experiences of your lives,” --Bill Gates
Am I serious? I temporarily deactivated my online dating profile for you. / I hope you don't mind an unsolicited critique of your dating profile.
..........They're like a star on a summer morning..........June Carter Cash …..Fair and Tender Ladies
^^^ The first air accident investigation was of the Lovettsville air disaster in 1940.
Worthless Fact of the Week: And on June 23 1775 the first regatta on the Thames was held copying the Venetian model. It appears that the regatta included rowing races by professional boatmen, along with more sedate social boating, and was preceded by a grand ball.
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If they don't give you a seat at the table, bring a folding chair. --Shirley Chisholm --submitted by sd of ks
Weird Word of the Week: Nurdle – In Cricket, a tap by the batsman that pushes the ball into a space among the fielders in order to take a quick single or the 'correct' among of toothpaste to put on the brush...and several more http://www.worldwidewords.org/topicalwords/tw-nur1.htm
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Relieve a hangover. Drinking a tall glass of Tang helps relieve a hangover – thanks to the vitamin C. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/tang.html
Let's tell people we met at Starbucks instead of at an online dating site. / I think we may be soul mates based on how equally excited we are about postponing our first date.
...........He'd grab a jug and cut a rug.........June Carter Cash …..He Went Slippin' Around
^^^^ The National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) was established in 1967, taking over air accident investigation duties.
Word Shakespeare Made Up of the Week: Label - tag, ticket, sticker, marker, tab Twelfth Night Act I Scene V: Olivia: it shall be inventoried, and every particle and utensil labelled to my will...
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck on his morning walk in the case of the Leashed Leavitt.
Your online dating profile failed to indicate what an emotionally handicapped selfish jerk you are. / I and an online dating algorithm, feel we'd be perfect for each other.
..........It must have been a drum..........June Carter Cash …..Juke Box Blues
^^^^^ The Airline Deregulation Act of 1978 specified that the CAB would eventually be disestablished. This happened on January 1, 1985.
Month of the Week: June is National Rose Month. Roses are red / Violets are cheaper / If I leave silent voice mails / Please don't call me a creeper
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: With the rise of self driving vehicles, eventually there WILL be a country song about how your truck left you too. Submitted by ma of oh
Most Beautiful Thing in the State: Connecticut -Young's Pond ~~Oddly enough, there are very few sites with pictures of Young's Pond. If it's so beautiful, why hasn't someone taken pictures. https://www.bringfido.com/attraction/1809
Today's Peace of History: Today's Peace of History, June 23 1972: The Education Amendments of 1972, commonly known as Title IX, became U.S. law, prohibiting sex discrimination at educational institutions. ~~Because of it, the KU marching band finally admitted women.
I'm looking to meet someone whose profile pictures were taken in this century. / Recognizing someone from OkCupid in public is worse than the shame of being on OkCupid.
..........make a big fool of yourself..........June Carter Cash …..Jackson
Masthead of the Week: fRiday ePistle June 23, 2017. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera . Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS 66046
Moonbeam: Inspiration is a farce that poets have invented to give themselves importance, --Jean Anouilh
Cost of War:
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 6/22/17: $775,362,342,908.
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 6/15/17: $774,727,439,016.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 6/22/17: $820,592,987,320.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 6/15/17: $820,574,431,205.
Tax dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 6/22/17: $15,548,837,046.
Tax dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 6/15/17: $15,451,253,814.
Tax dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 6/22/17: $152,711,019,975.
Tax dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 6/15/17: $152,168,035,948.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 6/22/17: $1,769,020,459,119.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 6/15/17: $1,767,694,525,302.
“I’m really inspired by women who are unafraid to be of service around social issues,” --Kerry Washington
..........when the roses nod and wave..........June Carter Cash …..Will You Miss Me When I'm Gone
Online dating is a lot of fun until you have to go on an actual date. / I'm sorry I haven't responded to your online dating message. You are my second choice, so hang in there.
Famous Last Words: ...from all around the world. --UN Public Service Day website
May Peace grace your profile
And Joy adorn your partners
prairie mama
christine






Last Laugh:

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Friday, June 16, 2017

bLooming ePistle

Famous First Words: Pour, oh pour, the pirate sherry --Pirates of Penzance
Today is Bloomsday – the day of the action of the novel Ulysses by James Joyce, June 16, 1904. Ah, Joyce, a man after my own fart. Graduate students of English and people who love crude humor get together on this day and read the text aloud to each other while consuming copious amounts of liquor. I've never done this; I'm afraid it would give a fatal fart attack.
..........So please read them closely...........Brian Eno …..Back in Judy's Jungle
Peace does not just mean putting an end to violence or war, but to all other factors that threaten peace, such as discrimination, such as inequality, poverty. --Aung San Suu Kyi
It is a beautiful Friday morning. The sky is smeared with a thin layer of white liquid with hints of blue showing through here and there from behind. There is no breeze to caress the leaves or play with the 67°F temperature; even the willow tree is still. The ground is still damp from last night's rain and smell of mud but the pavement is dry and does not add it's stony aroma to the dawning potpourri. Birds across the neighborhood are praising the morning, calls and answers, cheeps and peeps, and a low whoooooooooo from an unseen morning dove. Unfortunately this is counterpointed by Puck's loud, belligerent, one-way conversation with a squirrel who was seen under the feeder but now hides in the thick foliage of the tree behind the back fence. I breathe in deep lungfuls of fresh air and wander around the perimeter until the Puck-Squirrel exchange has ended. It is a beautiful morning and we are reluctant to leave...but creamy sweet coffee and you await. That moves us.
Hope your weekend is the father of all fun, epistliers.
I farted...that is as close to me giving shit as you're gonna get. / James Joyce had Pop Farts for breakfast.
..........At my degree of uncertainty...........Brian Eno …..Golden Hours
Trivia Questions: Happy Flip Flop Day !
^ Why are they called Flip Flops?
^^ How old is the oldest known flip flop?
^^^ When did the “modern” flip flop gain popularity in the US?
^^^^ Care to guess how many pairs were produced in 2010?
^^^^^ Do you remember where Obama was when he was photographed in flip flops?
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: By the end of their career, the average librarian will have spent an entire year sharpening tiny pencils. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Moonbeam: Humor is the truth; wit is an exaggeration of the truth. --Stan Laurel
(Ulysses is) a work of a queasy undergraduate scratching his pimples. --Virginia Woolf / Graduate Students in English only read Joyce once a year on Bloomsday because absence makes the fart grow fonder.
..........is no longer alone among the dragonflies...........Brian Eno …..Here He Comes
Something to Think About of the Week:

Big Hello: Салам! (Salam) – Kyrgyz {Kyrgyzstan}
Week of the Week: National Hermit Week (June 13-30) – Hermits United: We meet up every ten years, swap stories about caves. It's good fun for a hermit.
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Garden State Mega Fest (June 17-18, Monroe Township, NJ) Featuring a Karate Kid Reunion...http://www.gardenstatemegafest.com/
Children are like farts; you don't mind your own, but other people stink. / My only real goal in life is to fart loud enough to trigger a car alarm.
..........Playing blackjack in the drive-in...........Brian Eno …..Crime in the Desert
^ The name “flip flop” comes specifically from the sound the sandals make when they slap between the sole of your foot and the floor.
Almanac: It is Friday, June 16, 2017. The moon will be last quarter tomorrow and is in Pisces. The United Nations has declared this International Day of Family Remittances. It is also Bloomsday, Fudge Day, Ladies' Day at the Baseball Field, National Flip Flop Day, and Ugliest Dog Day.
Among those born on this day were Stan Laurel (1895), Nelson Doubleday (1899), Barbara McClintock (1902), E.G. Marshall (1910), Katharine Graham (1917), John Howard Griffin (1920), August Busch III (1937), Erich Segal (1937), Joyce Carol Oates (1938), and Brian Eno (1948).
On June sixteenth the Persian Era began (632), Mary Queen of Scots was thrown in the pokey, the Ancient Arabic Order of Nobles of the Mystic Shrine was founded (NYC, 1871), HMS Pinafore debuted (1879), the NY Gothams offered the first "Ladies Day" at the park (1883), Ford Motor Company was incorporated (1903), Bloomsday (1904), the first Congress of Soviets convened (Moscow, 1917), the National Industrial Recovery Act became law (1933), Dave Garroway was fired as Today Show host (1961), Brezhnev became president of the USSR (1977), and Boris Yeltsin became president of the USSR (1991).
Night Sky, 6/16: By the time it's fully dark this week, Altair is shining well up in the east. A finger-width above it or to its upper left is its little sidekick Tarazed (Gamma Aquilae), actually an orange giant that's far in the background. Altair is 17 light-years from us; Tarazed is about 460. 

 
 
This Week: Saturday, June 17 – Eat Your Vegetables Day & World Juggling Day
Sunday, June 18 – Clark Kent's Birthday & International Sushi Day
Night Sky, 6/18: The last-quarter Moon rises late tonight, around 1 am watch for it to breach the horizon to the lower right of the Great Square of Pegasus.
Monday, June 19 – Garfield the Cat Day & Juneteenth & World Sauntering Day
Tuesday, June 20 – American Eagle Day & National Hike with a Geek Day
Night Sky, 6/20: After dark, Vega is the brightest star very high in the east. Just lower left of it (or upper left in this photo) is 4th-magnitude Epsilon Lyrae, the Double-Double. Epsilon forms one corner of a roughly equilateral triangle with Vega and Zeta Lyrae.
Wednesday, June 21 – Summer Solstice & Cuckoo Warning Day & World Music Day
Thursday, June 22 – Global Smurfs Day & Stupid Guy Thing Day
Night Sky, 6/21: The Big Dipper has swung around to hang down by its handle high in the northwest during evening. The middle star of its handle is Mizar, with tiny Alcor right next to it.
Ultimately, Ulysses is to literature what The Birth of a Nation is to film; a impressively horrible work that may (possibly) be admired but cannot (surely) be enjoyed. --Joe Carter / A fart by any other name would smell as acrid.
..........I'm the happiest man in all the world ...........Brian Eno …..Juju Space Jazz
^^ The oldest known pair of flip flops is on display at the British Museum; they are from Egypt in 1500 BCE.
Funniest thing I read of the Week: Every country is like a particular type of person. America is like a belligerent, adolescent boy; Canada is like an intelligent, 35-year-old woman. Australia is like Jack Nicholson. It comes right up to you and laughs very hard in your face in a highly threatening and engaging manner. --Douglas Adams
Moonbeam: A mistake is simply another way of doing things. –Katharine Graham
Late Night Snacks: Yesterday, Rafael Nadal won the French Open and became the first man to win 10 titles at any major tournament. When asked what his secret is, he said, “Not having to play Serena Williams.” --Jimmy Fallon / People are calling Comey’s testimony Washington’s Super Bowl, and I hear Animal Planet is even airing the “Puppy Comey Testimony.” --Stephen Colbert / A birth control pill has been recalled due to a packaging error that puts placebo pills at the beginning of the pack rather than at the end. So pick up a pack today at Unplanned Parenthood. --Seth Meyers / So because these were uncomfortable conversations, Comey told Attorney General Jeff Sessions he did not want any future direct communication with President Drumpf. Melania said the same thing, by the way. It didn’t work out for either of them. --Jimmy Kimmel / Everybody here [in the U.K.] is talking about the election. If you’re watching this in Britain, you already know who the prime minister is. If you are watching this in America, you already don’t care who the prime minister is. We taped this show a day before, so as it stands right now, we don’t know what happened in this election. Meanwhile, in America, their election was last year and they still don’t know what happened in their election --James Corden / In Massachusetts, a medical marijuana dispensary has begun selling marijuana-infused pizza. Or as that’s known, “one-stop shopping.” --Conan O'Brien
Not So Late Night Snacks: ...having tape out in the world saying embarrassing, idiotic things about sex will either ruin your life or in select cases make you president. --Peter Sagal Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me
Peace can only last where human rights are respected, where the people are fed, and where individuals and nations are free. --14th Dalai Lama
If people are talking about you behind your back, fart. / If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I'd fart. / If you fart while wearing a thong does it whistle?
..........More lights, blue signs, all gold...........Brian Eno …..A Different Kind of Blue
^^^ At the end of WWII, flip fops were brought to the US from solders bringing zōri back from Japan.
Worthless Fact of the Week: The First All-Russian Congress of Soviets of Workers 'and Soldiers' Deputies (June 16 - July 7, 1917) was convened by the National Conference of the Soviets. It was dominated by pro-government parties (Socialist-Revolutionaries, etc.) and confirmed the supremacy of the Russian Provisional Government.
Weird Word of the Week: Moggie or Mog – cat (sitcom: Are You Being Served) – In the 18th century it was a name for a cow or calf. In the 19th century it referred to an untidily dressed woman. In the 20th century it became a pet name for a cat. http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-mog1.htm
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Make a space-age screwdriver. Mix Tang with vodka. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/tang.html
When you have to read a book length companion guide in order to grasp the story, though, something has gone terribly askew. The only other comparable literary work that requires such scholarly aids for understanding is the Bible. But at least that was inspired by God . What was Joyce’s excuse for such pretentiousness? --Joe Carter / I heard a rumor that they found another Joyce manuscript. They're going to publish it under the title Ulysses Fart II.
...........How many people will we feed today...........Brian Eno …..How Many Worlds
^^^^ By 2010, more than 150 million pairs of the sandals were being produced each year.
Word Shakespeare Made Up of the Week: Jaded – tired, sated, bored, glutted. King Henry VI, Part II Act IV Scene I Suffolk: The honourable blood of Lancaster must not be shed by such a jaded groom.
Fun Thing on the Internet of the Week: Creation Science 101 by Roy Zimmerman. “Don't let em' hand you that old jive about survival of the fittest that notion don't pass the bullshit test 'cause look at me, I'm still alive” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIwiPsgRrOs
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck with his faithful companion, Pax, arguing with wind in the case of the blowing Bergamasco.
If you fart loudly in public, just yell “Jet Power” and start walking fast. / What is invisible and smells like carrots? A bunny fart
..........Remember me, remember me.........Brian Eno …..Some of Them Are Old
^^^^^ President Obama was photographed standing in line at an ice cream shop wearing flip flops. http://nypost.com/2011/01/05/thats-quite-a-feet-bam-first-flip-flop-president/
Month of the Week: June is Skyscraper Month. --How many animals can jump higher than a skyscraper? All of them, skyscrapers can't jump. / Science flies you to the moon; religion flies you into skyscrapers.
Most Beautiful Thing in the State: Maroon Bells in Colorado...a reflective lake and two giant snow-striped mountaintops anchor a blissful panorama...http://www.colorado.com/articles/explore-maroon-bells-what-you-need-know
Today's Peace of History June 16, 1965: A planned civil disobedience turned into a five-hour teach-in on the steps and inside the Pentagon about the escalating war in Vietnam. In two days, more than 50,000 leaflets were distributed without interference at the building that houses the U.S. Department of Defense. A World War II artillery officer, Gordon Christiansen, turned in his honorable discharge certificate in protest.
I fart because it is the only gas I can afford. / I don't always fart, but when I do people ask me what cologne I am wearing.
..........There are tins, there was pork...........Brian Eno …..Third Uncle
Masthead of the Week: fRiday ePistle June 16, 2017. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Yada Yada Yada. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS 66046
Moonbeam: I know my corn plants intimately, and I find it a great pleasure to know them. --Barbara McClintock
Cost of War:
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 6/15/17: $774,727,439,016.
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 6/7/17: $774,071,330,322.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 6/15/17: $820,574,431,205.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 6/7/17: $820,555,253,998.
Tax dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 6/15/17: $15,451,253,814.
Tax dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 6/7/17: $15,350,386,805.
Tax dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 6/15/17: $152,168,035,948.
Tax dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 6/7/17: $151,606,798,617.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 6/15/17: $1,767,694,525,302.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 6/7/17: $1,766,324,197,829.
A political struggle that does not have women at the heart of it, above it, below it, and within it is no struggle at all. --Arundhati Roy
..........cyclones and revolutions...........Brian Eno …..Everybody's Mother
Ulysses , in other words, is the highbrow literary equivalent of an Adam Sandler movie. --Joe Carter https://www.firstthings.com/blogs/firstthoughts/2009/06/oh-how-i-hate-ulysses-a-bloomsday-rant / I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different. --Kurt Vonnegut
Famous Last Words: Peace --Dave Garroway
May Peace be your chocolate
And Joy your nuts
prairie mama
christine




Last Laugh of the Week:

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Friday, June 9, 2017

eMbryonic ePistle

Famous First Words: The English language has received great improvement... Philadelphia Spelling Book, 1790
Happy Poultry Days! I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.
..........The overture is about to start.........Cole Porter ….Another Opening Another Show
The spirit of truth and the spirit of freedom...they are the pillars of society. --Henrik Ibsen
It is a peaceful Friday morning. There is not a cloud in the sky – nor jet trail, nor fading star. No breeze shifts the leaves or drives the cool air (58°F) into the bones. There are no birds are in the yard near the feeders but birdsong is everywhere accompanied by chirps and cheeps and trills. Puck stalks the perimeter and then sits at my feet watching the morning go by. He does not even bark at an early morning ambler across the street. I breathe in the day and watch the shadows, formed by the rising sun, lengthen and change shape. Pax arrives for a morning play date and the dogs disappear around the storage shed. Still I linger in the outdoors, drinking in daylight and delight...right up until the trash truck grinds by and chases me and my ears into the house, into the smell of brewing coffee and stale incense. Another beautiful daybreak ending now with sweet decaf, creamed and warm and ready. The only thing missing is you.
Greetings, ePistliers, hope your weekend does the chicken dance.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken hadn't evolved yet. / Ducks wake up at the quack of dawn
..........you're a Bendel bonnet, a Shakespeare sonnet, you're Mickey Mouse.........Cole Porter …..You're the Tops
Trivia Questions: Happy 83rd, Donald – Duck that is
^ Who created Donald Duck in the first place?
^^ What was the duck's first movie?
^^^ Any idea what was on Donald's license plate?
^^^^ When did we meet Huey, Dewey, and Louis?
^^^^^ Know what Daisy's name was originally?
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 23% of librarians really don't like all the jokes about librarians and tea. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Moonbeam: After the verb “to love”, “to help” is the most beautiful verb in the world. --Bertha von Suttner
Why did the Roman chicken cross the road? She was afraid someone would Caesar. / I don't know about that goose; he's from Brazil and only speaks Portugeese.
..........You can hear, dear Mother Nature murmuring low “Let yourself go”..........Cole Porter …..It's De-Lovely
Something to Think About of the Week:

Big Hello: Sillaw – Kurdish (Sorani) Kurdistan, Iraq and western Iran.
Week of the Week: International Listening Week (June 7-10) –It takes patience to listen but it takes skill to pretend you are listening.
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: CoreCon IX Monsters vs Mechs. June 8-11, Fargo, ND. https://www.fargocorecon.org/
How did the headless chicken cross the road? In a KFC bucket. / Donald told the waitress to put dinner on his bill.
..........I get no kick from Champagne, mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all.........Cole Porter …..I Get a Kick Out of You
^ Duh, Walt Disney, of course, created Donald.
Almanac: It is Friday, June 9, 2017. The moon is full (Strawberry) today and is in Sagittarius. It is Banana Split Days, Donald Duck Day, International Archives Day, Poultry Days, Ryan Moran Day (during the full moon in June), and Toy Industry Day. In Oklahoma it is Senior Citizens Day. It is also the weekend of the National Asparagus Festival in Shelby, MI.
Among those born on this day were Leopold I (Emperor of HRE, 1640), George Stephenson (1781), Bertha von Suttner (1843), Cole Porter (1893), Fred Waring (1900), Robert Cummings (1908), Les Paul (1915), Robert McNamara (1916), Jackie Mason (1930), Donald Duck (1934), John Lord (Deep Purple, 1941), Mitch Mitchell (Jimi Hendrix Experience, 1947), Bonnie Tyler (Gaynor Hopkins, 1951), Michael J. Fox (1961), and Johnny Depp (1963).
On June nineth the passage of Halley's Comet was recorded for the 23rd time (1456), Cartier sailed into the mouth of the St. Lawrence River (1534), Thomas Morton became the first person deported from the new world (1628), Georgia was chartered (1732), the first book was copyrighted under the US constitution (Philadelphia Spelling Book, 1790), Charles Graham received the first patent for false teeth (1822), Hires sold his first root beer (Philadelphia, 1869), the EL began operation in Chicago (1883), Honus Wagner became first baseball player to get 3,000 hits (1914), the first Donald Duck cartoon was shown (1931), Anthony Eden resigned as British PM (1957), Harry Blackmun became a Supreme Court Justice (1970), Star Trek V premiered (1989), and the British lease on Hong Kong expired (1997).
Night Sky, 6/9: As twilight deepens, look for Saturn just a few degrees to the right of the moon. Watch the moon pull a little farther from Saturn as the hours pass.
 
This Week: Saturday, June 10 – AA Founder's Day, Crochet in Public Day, & 149th Running of the Belmont Stakes
Sunday, June 11 – Making Life Beautiful Day & Cotton Candy Day
Night Sky, 6/11: The Summer Triangle stands high and proud in the east after dark. Its top star is bright Vega. Deneb is the brightest star to Vega's lower left (by 2 or 3 fists at arm's length). Look for Altair a greater distance to Vega's lower right.
Monday, June 12 – Superman Day & National Jerky Day
Tuesday, June 13 – World Pet Memorial Day & Call Your Doctor Day
Night Sky, 6/13: After dark, Vega is the brightest star very high in the east. Just a little lower left of it is 4th-magnitude Epsilon Lyrae, the Double-Double.
Wednesday, June 14 – Flag Day & World Blood Donor Day
Thursday, June 15 – Magna Carta Day & Native American Citizenship Day
Why did the rubber chicken cross the road? She wanted to stretch her legs. / If gooses are geese, why aren't mooses meese?
..........use your mentality, wake up to reality.........Cole Porter …..Under My Skin
^^ The Wise Little Hen was released on June 9, 1934, and was about Donald and his friend Peter Pig who faked having stomach aches so they wouldn't have to work. They were found out in the end by Mrs. Hen.
Funniest thing I read of the Week: Maybe if we start calling it Unborn Baby Earth instead of Mother Earth republicans will be more concerned with its well-being. --Submitted by pt of ks
Moonbeam: You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous. --Bonnie Tyler
Late Night Snacks: President Drumpf rang in the 1st of June with a major announcement. No one loves to announce an announcement more than Donald Drumpf. On Twitter last night, he wrote, "I will be announcing my decision on Paris accord Thursday at 3:00 P.M., the White House Rose Garden, make America great again." It made sense that he did it from the Rose Garden. While we still have roses and gardens. --Jimmy Kimmel /Today is Vice President Mike Pence’s 58th birthday. But the White House is going to leave the decorations up all week so they can also celebrate Pence’s inauguration. --Jimmy Fallon / In Massachusetts, a medical marijuana dispensary has begun selling marijuana-infused pizza. Or as that’s known, “one-stop shopping.” --Conan O'Brien / Just seven weeks to see who gets the most votes, but in America, they are much more thorough. They take two years to see who gets the most votes. Then they elect the person who gets the second most votes. I’m kidding! They elect whoever Vladimir Putin wants. --James Corden / President Drumpf today announced Christopher Wray, the attorney for New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie during the Bridge-gate scandal, as the nomination for FBI director. Donald, you’re even giving Chris Christie’s lawyer a job? How cruel are you? I bet you called him personally. “Chris, are you sitting down? I finally decided to hire ... your friend, the lawyer. That’s it, though. No one else. All right. Have a terrible day.” --Seth Meyers / People are calling Comey’s testimony Washington’s Super Bowl, and I hear Animal Planet is even airing the “Puppy Comey Testimony.” --Stephen Colbert
Each time a person stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others,or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, these ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance. --Robert Kennedy
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken. / If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone has to tell the turkey, man, just be yourself. --Mitch Hedberg.
..........You're too good' way too good.........Cole Porter …..Let's Misbehave
^^^ Donald Duck's car had a license plate of 313 indicating that he is unlucky.
Worthless Facts of the Week: Harry Blackmun was the 98th U.S. Supreme Court justice. Born in 1908, in Illinois, Blackmun authored the landmark Roe v. Wade decision, which guaranteed constitutional protection for a woman’s right to have an abortion, and was known for increasingly liberal rulings over time despite a conservative background. He died on March 4, 1999.
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Pulling Out is NOT an effective method of Climate Control. --Submitted by pl of hi
Weird Word of the Week: Labretifery – an ornament worn through the upper or lower lip. From the 1880s. http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-lab1.htm
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Differentiate hard-boiled from raw eggs in the refrigerator. Add one tablespoon Tang orange drink mix power to the water when boiling eggs. It give the shells a light orange color. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/tang.html
Why did the egg cross the road? To get to the Shell Station. / I've always enjoyed watching chickens walk around. It's really poultry in motion.
...........The world's gone mad today and good's bad today..........Cole Porter …..Anything Goes
^^^^ Donald's nephews (Huey, Dewey, & Louie first appeared in 1938 in Donald's Nephews).
Word Shakespeare Made Up of the Week: Invulnerable – incapable of being wounded, immune to attack, not open to denial. King John Act II Scene I. King Philip: Our cannons' malice vainly shall be spent against the invulnerable clouds of heaven;
Third Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: New Rule for Science Journalism: If your article can be summarized as “No”, don't write it.
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck and his faithful companion, Pax, guarding the fire pit in the case of the Arsonist Airedale.
Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide. / The brooding duck was seen on several occasions to be juggling her eggs. She was diagnosed with restless egg syndrome.
..........Even educated fleas do it.......Cole Porter …..Let Do It
^^^^^ Daisy was originally called Donna Duck in the 1937 film Don Donald.
Month of the Week: June is National Iced Tea Month --A new restaurant opened in DC. They brew and ice excellent teas; the “freshmen senator” favorite is virgin-tea and for those voting to repeal Obamacare, Cruel-tea. But no one seems to want to drink the Honest-tea
Most Beautiful Thing in the State: Yosemite Park in California ! http://www.technocrazed.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Beautiful-USA-Photos54.jpg
Today's Peace of History: June 9, 1984: 150,000 marched in London, England, for nuclear disarmament, protesting the presence of U.S. cruise missiles on British soil.
Why did the wad of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot. / A goose was about to cross the road when a chicken looked at him and said...”Don't do it, man...you'll never hear the end of it.
..........One of those bells that now and then ring.........Cole Porter …..Just One of Those Things
Masthead of the Week: fRiday ePistle June 9, 2017. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Generic Tag Line. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS 66046
Moonbeam: Never answer the question that is asked of you. Answer the question that you wish had been asked of you. --Robert McNamara
Cost of War:
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 6/7/17: $774,071,330,322.
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 6/1/17: $773,344,615,017.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 6/7/17: $820,555,253,998.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 6/1/17: $820,534,017,405.
Tax dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 6/7/17: $15,350,386,805.
Tax dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 6/1/17: $15,238,700,284.
Tax dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 6/7/17: $151,606,798,617.
Tax dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 6/1/17: $150,985,378,902.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 6/7/17: $1,766,324,197,829.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 6/1/17: $1,746,806,625,135.
The war for freedom will never really be won because the price of our freedom is constant vigilance over ourselves and over our Government. --Eleanor Roosevelt
..........But how strange the change from major to minor........Cole Porter …..Every time We Say Goodbye
Why did the horse cross the road? Because the chicken needed a day off.
Famous Last Words: By writ of privy-seal. --Charter of Georgia 1732
May Peace be your dove
And Joy be your eagle
prairie mama
christine
Last Laugh:


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