Famous
First Words: Larry Thomas bought a cuckoo clock for his
wife... Philip K. Dick Beyond the Door
One
Christmas, Phil and Will built a skating rink in the middle of a
pasture. A shepherd leading his flock decided to take a shortcut
across the rink. The sheep, however, were afraid of the ice and
wouldn't cross it. Desperate, the shepherd began tugging them to the
other side. "Look at that," remarked Phil, "That guy
is trying to pull the wool over our ice.
..........soon
we'll all be breathin' out of tanks.........ZZ Top …..Squank
Peace
does not mean just putting an end to violence or to war, but to all
other factors that threaten peace, such as discrimination, such as
inequality, poverty. --Aung San Suu Kyi
It
is a breezy Friday morning. The sky is a solid slate gray without
hint of sun trying to bore through nor hint any of rain or snow to
come. The temperature (31°F)
rose over night but the wind (E14 mph) pushes the cold around the
clothing and into the bones. Birds are still abed and the only
sounds are motors rushing to work and the trash truck over a couple
of blocks grinding its gears. Puck finishes his morning business and
comes to stand by me to let me know he is ready to go back into the
warmth. But I linger a moment, my back to the wind, watching the
neighborhood rest peacefully under this blanket of cold. Enough. We
return to our rooms that smell of coffee and incense, of heat and
comfort. And now here I sit, creamy sweet coffee at my side, dog
asleep on my pillow, and thoughts of you in my head.
Hope
your weekend is a holiday gift, epistliers.
Gajendra
wants to travel home for Pancha Ganapati so he calls Air India and
asks, “How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?”. The rep says,
“Just a sec...” “Thank you,” says Gajendra and hangs up.
It
was so cold roosters were applying at Kentucky Fried Chicken.
..........You
might not see him in person but he'll see you just the
same.........ZZ Top …..Jesus Just Left Chicago
Trivia
Questions: Happy 243rd to the Boston Tea Party
^
About how many people attended the party?
^^
What were they protesting, exactly?
^^^
How did George Washington feel about the Tea Party action?
^^^^
How much tea was dumped or how much money was it worth or both, more
or less?
^^^^^
When did the action acquire the name “Boston Tea Party”?
Fake
Library Statistic of the Week:
Academic librarians can , with 98% accuracy, identify the students
making their first visit to the library this semester during finals.
https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Seasonal
Photo of the Week: The backyard fountain
and bird spa ...
Moonbeam:
I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble
of liking them a great deal. --Jane Austen
It
is the winter solstice. That means this is the longest night of the
year unless your children drug you to see Norm of the North.
It
was so cold Starbucks was serving coffee on a stick.
..........I
said, Lord, take me downtown.........ZZ Top …..Tush
Something
to Think About of the Week: The universe is my home, all
beings are my tribe, and Oneness is my religion.
Big
Hello: Kedu – Igbo (Nigeria)
Week
of the Week:
Human Rights Week (December 10-17) --Discussion
at a Russian pharmacy: Customer: “I need a tranquilizer…”
Pharmacist: “Do you have a prescription?” Customer: “What, a
Russian passport is not enough?” / Yesterday I watched the new
movie “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes.” So, what do you think?
It pales in comparison to yesterday’s statement by Putin.
Science
Fiction Convention of the Week:
Walker Stalker (December 17-18, Charlotte, NC) The Zombie, Horror &
Sci-Fi Con that is infecting the US...
https://www.showclix.com/event/walker-stalker-con-charlotte
This
guy goes into a restaurant for breakfast while in his hometown for
Kwanzaa. After looking over the menu he says, "I'll just have
the eggs Benedict." His order comes a while later and it's
served on a big, shiny hubcap. He asks the waiter, "What's with
the hubcap?" The waiter says, "Well, there's no plate like
chrome for the hollandaise."
It
was so cold HD Lee started making electric jeans.
..........
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah.........ZZ Top …..Cheap Sunglasses
^
Dozens of colonists boarded three ships in Boston Harbor. The
band of protesters was tight-lipped. Even after independence, they
refused to reveal their identities, fearing they could still face
civil and criminal charges as well as condemnation from elites for
engaging in mob behavior and the wanton destruction of private
property. Even today, only the names of some of the participants are
known.
Almanac:
It is Friday, December 16, 2016. The moon was full (cold) last
Tuesday and is in Leo. It is National
Chocolate-Covered Anything Day and Barbie & Barney Backlash Day.
Because it is the third Friday it is also National Ugly Christmas
Sweater Day and Underdog Day. In Bahrain it is National Day and in
Bangladesh it is Victory Day (1971). Nepál celebrates Constitution
Day (1962).
Among
those born on this day were Catherine of Aragon (1485), Giovanni
Casini (1652), Georg Weimar (1734), Ludwig van Beethoven (1770), Jane
Austen (1775), E.E. Barnard (1857), Walther Meissner (1882), Noel
Coward (1899), Margaret Mead (1901), Arthur C Clarke (1917), G
Randall Garrett (1927), Peter Dickinson (1927), Philip K Dick (1928),
Liv Ullman (1929), Billy Gibbons (ZZ Top, 1949), William "the
Refrigerator" Perry (1962), Benjamin Bratt (1963), and Billy
Ripkin (1964).
On
December sixteenth England's Henry VI was crowned king of France
(1431), English Parliament adopted the Bill of Rights after the
Glorious Revolution (1689), the Boston Tea Party was held (1773), the
Republic of South Africa formed (1880), Dvorak's New
World Symphony
premiered (1893), Variety
was first published (1905), and President Clinton named his Labrador
retriever Buddy (1997).
Tonight's
Sky:
Siriusrise?
To the east-southeast horizon, watch for Sirius to come up about two
fists at arm's length below Orion's Belt. It rises now sometime
around 8 pm depending on your location
This
Week: Saturday, December 17 –
Saturnalia (begins) & Wright Brothers Day
Sunday,
December 18 – Answer the Phone Like Buddy the Elf Day &
Give A Wine Club Day
Night
Sky, December 18: Mercury, Venus and Uranus are all visible
after sunset.
Monday,
December 19 – National Hard Candy Day
Tuesday,
December 20 – Mudd Day, International Human Solidarity Day,
& National Sangria Day
Night
Sky, December 20: Moon is last quarter in Virgo. Mars and
Neptune rise close together after sunset.
Wednesday,
December 21 – Pancha Ganapati (begins) & Yalda aka
Winter Solstice aka Dong zhi aka Sanghamitta aka Shalako aka yule ...
Thursday,
December 22 – National Re-Gifting Day
Night
Sky, December 22: Jupiter and Saturn are both visible before
sunrise.
It
was so cold we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled
inside it to warm up.
..........
Silk suit, black tie.........ZZ Top …..Sharp Dress Man
^^
The tea partiers were not protesting a tax hike, but a corporate tax
break. The Tea Act was a government bail out of a company on the
brink of financial collapse.
Funniest
Thing I Read of the Week: Today I'm doing nothing because I
started doing it yesterday and I wasn't finished. I'm no quitter.
--Submitted by bg of ks
Moonbeam:
We won't have a society if we destroy the environment. --Margaret
Mead
Late
Night Snacks: This weekend is SantaCon, which
is the annual bar crawl where people dress up like Santa Claus for a
day of drinking. That’s right, a drunken bar crawl wearing a Santa
suit, or as the real Santa calls that —December 26. --Jimmy Fallon
/ Starbucks has come out with a new Frappuccino that’s named after
Pokémon Go. They’re saying it has “the taste of something you
lost interest in around September.” --Conan O'Brien / According to
a recent study of social media, Dec. 11 is the day when are you most
likely to be dumped by your boyfriend or girlfriend. Why not simplify
your holiday season? Combine the breakup with the Christmas gift. “So
I hope you like what I got you, it’s a Match.com membership.”
--James Corden / Congratulations to Mick Jagger, who just became the
father of a baby boy. His eighth child. His oldest child is 46 years
old. Mick Jagger himself is 73 years old. They say the baby looks
just look his dad, all wrinkly. --Jimmy Kimmel / Facebook has filed
a patent on a system to automatically identify and remove posts
containing fake news, and just after the nick of time. --Seth Meyers
/ There is a trend of Drumpf appointing people to head things they’re
against. I’m looking forward to Surgeon General Joe Camel.
--Stephen Colbert
See
the world as it is; strive to make it as it should be. --Matshona
Dhliwayo
Blessed
Eid Al-Fitr: "When I was in the desert," said Nasruddin
one day, "I caused an entire tribe of horrible and bloodthirsty
bedouins to run." "However did you do it?" asked a
person. "Easy. I just ran, and they ran after me.
It
was so cold flames froze in the fireplace. Mom would break them off,
grind them up, and serve stuffed peppers.
..........Passing
out handbills on Austin Street.........ZZ Top …..Heaven, Hell, or
Houston
^^^
George
Washington condemned the Boston Tea Party.
Although
America’s foremost Revolutionary figure wrote in June 1774 that
“the cause of Boston…ever will be considered as the cause of
America,” he strongly voiced his disapproval of “their conduct in
destroying the Tea.”
Worthless
Fact of the Week: Henry,
he only child of King Henry V, was born at Windsor Castle in 1421 and
succeeded to the thone at age nine month and crowned King of France
in December of 1431.
Wicked
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I
took the road less traveled...Now, I don't know where the hell I am.
--Submitted by bm of ga
Weird
Word of the Week:
Logocidal – destruction or perversion of meaning of words –
something deadly to reason and communication. Newspeak in
1984
is an example. http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-log3.htm
Wacky
Uses for Common Products:
Dress wounds and burns. Apply SueBee Honey to the injury. Honey is
hygroscopic and absorbs water, creating an environment in which
disease-producing microorganisms, deprived of the moisture, cannot
live. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/suebee.html
It
was so cold traffic updates warned of icebergs on the freeway.
...........Ain't
got no rap, ain't got no line.........ZZ Top …..Rough Boy
^^^^
342 cases, 92,000 pounds of tea (18.5 million teabags) with a present
day value of about $1 million.
Word
Shakespeare Made Up of the Week: to stun or overwhelm with
noise. King Henry IV, Part II
Act III, Scene I King Henry IV: ...with deafening clamour in the
slippery clouds...
Third
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Corrupt
politicians make the other ten percent look bad. --Henry Kissinger
Amazing
Thing on the Internet of the Week:
Once again Pot in the Latkis on YouTube is the Hanukkah video of
choice. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmR93QA9fy0
Puck
the Brave Episode of the Week:
Here's our fearless Puck investigating a package that smells
suspiciously of pork tenderloin in the Case of the Christmas
Crustie.
It
was so cold it took me two hours to walk one block, my shadow kept
freezing to the sidewalk.
..........She
was floatin' across the ceiling.........ZZ Top …..My Head's in
Mississippi
^^^^^
For years, Bostonians referred to the protest as “the destruction
of the tea”. The earlies reference to “Boston Tea Party”
appeared in 1826.
http://www.history.com/news/10-things-you-may-not-know-about-the-boston-tea-party
Last
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I am
the Ghost of Christmas Future Imperfect Conditional, said the Spirit.
I bring news of what would have been going to happen, if you were
not to have been going to change your ways. --Submitted by sd of ks
Month
of the Week: December is Youngsters on
the Air Month – Little know fact, David Copperfield got his start
as a child magician on the John Jones Radio Talent Hunt radio show.
Famous
Kansans:
Dennis Rader, the Wichita BTK (bind, torture, kill) murderer, was
born in Wichita in 1945.
http://www.biography.com/people/dennis-rader-241487
Today's
Peace of History:
"War is Over! If You Want It, Happy Christmas from John &
Yoko" posters began appearing. (1969)
Mary
goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Hanukkah cards and she
says to the cashier, 'May I have 50 Hanukkah stamps?' The
cashier says, 'What denomination?' Miriam says, 'Oy vey, has it
come to this? OK, give me 6 Orthodox, 12 Conservative, and 32
Reform.'
It
was so cold even the politicians stopped blowing hot air.
..........Don't
have to tell nobody how their tail ought to lay.........ZZ Top
…..Lizard Life
Masthead
of the Week:
fRiday ePistle December 16, 2016. Online at:
http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/
What
is news anyway?.
Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS
66046
I
Lied...Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
I'm disappointed in Sarah Palin more than any other human being. She
saw what Russia was doing from her back yard and chose to say
nothing.--submitted by pl of ks
Moonbeam:
I choose what I believe, and say nothing. For I am not as simple as
I may seem. --Catherine of Aragon
Cost
of War:
Tax
dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 12/15/16: $757,206,019,936.
Tax
dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 12/8/16: $756,531,276,009.
Tax
dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 12/15/16:
$820,062,346,253.
Tax
dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 12/8/16:
$820,042,625,147.
Tax
dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 12/15/16: $12,758,201,434.
Tax
dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 12/8/16: $12,654,521,974.
Tax
dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 12/15/16:
$137,183,390,845.
Tax
dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 12/8/16:
$136,606,499,371.
Tax
dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 12/15/16:
$1,731,103,035,677.
Tax
dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 12/8/16:
$1,729,694,294,526.
Our
highest deed comes from helping the lowest people. --Matshona
Dhliwayo
..........Well
I was rollin' down the road in some cold blue steel.........ZZ Top
…. .I'm Bad, I'm Nationnwide
A
Russian couple was walking down the street in St. Petersburg the
other night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think
it's raining," he said to his wife. "No, that felt more
like snow to me," she replied. "No, I'm sure it was just
rain, he said." Well, as these things go, they were about to
have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just
then they saw a minor communist party official walking toward them.
"Let's not fight about it," the man said, "let's ask
Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing." As
the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade
Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?" "It's
raining, of course," he answered and walked on. But the woman
insisted: "I know that felt like snow!" To which the man
quietly replied: "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"
Famous
Last Words: But no one heard him. Philip K. Dick Beyond
the Door
May
Peace fill your holidays
And
Joy your winter
prairie
mama
christine
Last
Laugh:
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