Friday, December 9, 2016

ePistlegait

Famous First Words: Half a league, half a league....Tennyson The Charge of the Light Brigade
Tomorrow is the Day of the Horse. A talking horse walks into a bar and approaches the manager. “Excuse me, good sir,” the horse says, “are you hiring?” The manager looks the horse up and down and says, “Sorry, pal. Why don’t you try the circus?” The horse nickers. “Why would the circus need a bartender?
..........I'll love you 'til the poets run out of rhyme.........Donny Osmond …..Twelfth of Never
Peace, in the sense of the absence of war, is of little value to someone who is dying of hunger or cold. It will not remove the pain of torture inflicted on a prisoner of conscience. It does not comfort those who have lost their loved ones in floods caused by senseless deforestation in a neighboring country. Peace can only last where human rights are respected, where people are fed, and where individuals and nations are free. --The XIVth Dalai Lama
It is a bitter (11°F) Friday morning. Only the lack of wind allows us to abide in the backyard. The sky is covered with lumpy gray clouds that no longer reflect the brilliant pinks and yellows of early dawn but are gray with highlights of less gray and more gray. There is no wind to carry them away. A small hawk that is hiding in the near by weeping-mulberry springs and flies eye-high across the street and into the little wood. The sound of a variety of birds can be heard but none of them can be seen. Puck checks out the frozen fountain and bird spa but decides not to ice skate and so moseys off to check out the rest of the yard. I watch my breath billow out and disappear into the cold morning. We tarry watching neighbors go off to work and the school buses come and go. The cold has not stopped life. When the trash truck rattle and hums by, we return to the inside, to warm air and the smells of floral incense and brewing coffee. I fix myself a cup with lots of cream and a little artificial sugar; it warms my nose and my throat and my heart. But not as much as the thought of writing to you.
Hope your weekend runs like the wind, ePistliers.
A guy is walking through the country when he spots a sign that reads, “Talking Horse for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks up to the stable to check it out. “So what have you done with your life?” he asks the horse. “I’ve led a full life,” the horse answers miraculously. “I was born in The Andes where I herded for an entire village. Years later, I joined the mounted police force in New York and helped keep the city clean. And now, I spend my days giving free rides to underprivileged kids here in the country.” The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the horse’s owner, “Why on earth would you want to get rid of such an incredible animal?” The owner says, “Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!”
..........This world is a happy place.........Kenny Vance …..Some Kind of Wonderful
Trivia Questions: It's Anti-Corruption Day. Can you briefly describe these corruption scandals?
^ Credit Mobilier (1872-73)
^^ Whiskey Ring (1875)
^^^ Teapot Dome (1921-22)
^^^^ Iran Contra (1985),
^^^^^ The Keating Five (1989)
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 80/20 Rule: 80% of your patrons will show up during the last 20 minutes you are open. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Moonbeam: All politics is local. --Tip O'Niell
A Desperado rides into town and downs a few drinks at the saloon. When he steps outside again, he finds his horse has been stolen. The Desperado swears, steps back into the bar, and fires a round into the piano. The room goes dead silent. “I’m gonna have one more beer,” the Desperado bellows to the terrified crowd, “and if my horse ain’t back where I left him when I’m done, I’ll do here what I had to do in Houston.” The locals murmur uneasily as the Desperado sips his drink. Lucky for them all, when he steps outside again his horse has been returned. As the Desperado saddles up, a local can’t help but ask, “Sir, what exactly was it you had to do in Houston?” The Desperado narrows his eyes and hisses at the man, “Walk home.”
..........And I don't care if the money's no good..........The Band …..The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down
Something to Think About of the Week: Every time someone looks into your eyes. They are only searching to find themselves; for they know already that they are part of you. --Jeremy Aldana
Big Hello: Saluto – Ido (International)
Week of the Week: Computer Science Education Week (December 2-9) --A college student enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the clerk, “I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen.” The surprised sales rep replies, “But, madam, computers do not have curtains.” And the student said, “Helloooo…. I’ve got Windows!”
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Bash of the Empire VI (Atlanta Star Wars Party) 9 pm – 3 am, December 10th. https://www.xorbia.com/events/mcp/BOTE6/
Two racehorses are in a stable. One says to the other, “You know, before that last race …” “The one that you won?” asks the other horse. “Yeah, before that race, I felt a pinch in my hindquarters.” The other horse says, “Funny, I felt a pinch in my hindquarters before the race that I won.” A dog walking by says, “You idiots, you’re being doped. They’re injecting you with a drug to make you faster!” The first horse turns to the other and says, “Hey, a talking dog!” —submitted by magician/comedian Penn Jillette
.......... Now I'm goin' down to New Orleans to get me a mojo hand.........Junior Wells …..Hoodoo Man Blues
^ The Teapot Dome scandal occured during the administration of President Warren G. Harding. Secretary of the Interior Albert Fall had leased Navy petroleum reserves at Teapot Dome in Wyoming and two other locations in California to private oil companies at low rates without competitive bidding. Fall was later convicted of accepting bribes from the oil companies and became the first Cabinet member to go to prison. No person was ever convicted of paying a bribe, however.
Almanac: It is Friday, December 9, 2016. The moon was first quarter last Wednesday and is in Aries. The United Nations has declared this International Day of Commemoration and Dignity to the Victims of the Crime of Genocide and of the Prevention of this Crime and International Anti-Corruption Day; it is also Cremation Day and Weary Willie Day.
Among those born on this day were Edwin Sandys (1561), St. Martinus de Porres, patron of social justice (1569), John Milton (1608), Georg Petri (1715), Johann Winckelmann (1717), Charles Waldteufel (1837), Pjotr Kopotkin (1842), Joel Chandler Harris (1848), Fritz Haber (1868), Clarence Birdseye (1886), Herione Gingold (1897), Emmett Kelly (1898), Grace Murry Hopper (1906), Douglas Fairbanks Jr (1909), Broderick Crawford (1911), Tip O'Neill (1912), Kirk Douglas (Issur Demsky, 1918), Redd Foxx (1922), Dina Merrill (1925), Dick Van Patten (1928), John Cassavetes (1929), Buck Henry (1930), Jessie "Ooh Poo Pah Doo" Hill (1932), Judi Dench and Junior Wells (1934), Beau Bridges (1941), Rick Danko (The Band, 1943), Kenny Vance (1943), John Malkovich (1953), Donny Osmond (1957), and Worf (2340).
On December ninth Britain accepted the Treaty of Paris (1783), New York's first daily newspaper was issued (American Minerva, 1793), the first YMCA formed (Montréal, 1851), Charge of the Light Brigade was published (1854), the Noble Order of Knights of Labor was founded (1869), the ball-bearing skate was patented (1884), Norway unanimously approved female suffrage (1903), Salome premiered (1905), the first Christmas Seals were sold (1907), Spain became a republic (1931), the John Birch Society was formed (1958), Wilt Chamberlain (Philadelphia Warriors) scored 67 points vs NY (1961), Tanganyika became of British Commonwealth republic (1962), Zanzibar gained independence (1963), A Charlie Brown Christmas premiered (1965), and Lewis F Powell Jr was appointed to the Supreme Court (1971).
Tonight's Sky: Possible to see all 3 inner planets near the western horizon as darkness falls. Venus to the upper left and ot its upper left ruddy Mars.
This Week: Saturday, December 10 – Day of the Horse, Dewey Decimal System Day, & Human Rights Day
Tonight's Sky, December 10: Mercury always lurks near the Sun so is visible only shortly before sunrise or shortly after sunset.
Sunday, December 11 – International Mountain Day & Worldwide Candle Lighting Day
Monday, December 12 – Poinsettia Day, National Cocoa Day, & Green Monday
Tuesday, December 13 – Pick a Pathologist Pal Day
Tonight's Sky, December 13: Geminids meteor shower. The full (Cold) moon may dim our appreciation of the Geminids.
Wednesday, December 14 – Monkey Day & Yoga Day
Thursday, December 15 – Bill of Rights Day & National Cupcake Day
Tonight's Sky, December 15: Jupiter and Saturn can both be seen in the morning before sunrise.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey.” The horse says, “Buddy—you read my mind!”
.......... And bring your children down to the river side..........The Band …..Across the Great Divide
^^ The Whiskey Ring was a scandal during the Grant administration, involving diversion of tax revenues in a conspiracy among government agents, politicians, whiskey distillers, and distributors. The Whiskey Ring began in St. Louis but was also organized in Chicago, Milwaukee, Cincinnati, New Orleans, and Peoria. Before they were caught, a group of politicians were able to siphon off millions of dollars in federal taxes on liquor; the scheme involved an extensive network of bribes involving distillers, rectifiers, gaugers, storekeepers, and internal revenue agents.
Funniest thing I read of the Week: I'm going to start tackling guys in football jerseys and saying, “Look how he's dressed, he's asking for it”. --Benjamin O'Keefe submitted by llr of ks
Moonbeam: Give me the liberty to know, to utter, and to argue freely according to conscience, above all liberties. --John Milton
Late Night Snacks: Rockefeller Center is jammed with people here to see the Christmas tree. If you go outside, you hear the festive sounds of jingle bells, holiday music, and every parent yelling, “Stay with me!” --Jimmy Fallon / The CEO of Starbucks announced he’s stepping down. He’s going to become the CEO of the Starbucks across the street. --Conan O'Brien / The cereal company Kellogg’s pulled their advertising from the conservative alt-right website Breitbart News and its readers responded by calling for a boycott of all Kellogg’s products. Breitbart received a lot of criticism for running questionable news stories during the election. So basically Breitbart counts as real news in the same way that Apple Jacks counts as real fruit. --James Corden / Drumpf doesn’t even believe in the existence of global warming calling it “very expensive BS.” Of course, “Very Expensive BS” is also the motto for Drumpf University. --Stephen Cobert
We know that a peaceful world cannot long exist, one-third rich and two-thirds hungry.” Jimmy Carter
 
..........I got a real funny feelin'.........Junior Wells …..Hey Lawdy Mama
^^^ The Crédit Mobilier scandal was during the Harding administration. Crédit Mobilier of America was a construction company involved in the building of the eastern portion of the First Transcontinental Railroad. The scandal was in two parts. The construction company charged the railroad far higher rates than usual, and cash and $9 million in discounted stock were given as bribes to 15 powerful Washington politicians, including the Vice-President, the Secretary of the Treasury, four senators, the Speaker and other members of the House.
Worthless Facts of the Week: In the NBA, there is no one more dominant in the record books than Wilt Chamberlain, who not only holds 72 different NBA records, but also holds multiple records (second and third best etc.) within different statistical categories.
Weird Word of the Week: Kakistocracy – government by the most unprincipled citizens. (1829). “Is ours a “government of the people, by the people, for the people,” or a Kakistocracy, rather for the benefit of knaves at the cost of fools? “ – James Russell Lowell http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-kak1.htm
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Give yourself a facial. Mash a banana and add one tablespoon SueBee Honey. Cover your face with the mixture, let sit fifteen minutes, then rinse with warm water. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/suebee.html
You're riding a horse full speed, there's a giraffe right beside you, and a lion nipping at your heels. What do you do? Get off the carousel and sober up.
...........She told me just to come on by.........The Band …..Up on Cripple Creek
^^^^ Iran Conta, during the Reagan Administration, involved senior administration officials secretly facilitating the sale of arms to Iran, which was the subject of an arms embargo. They hoped thereby to secure the release of several U.S. hostages and to fund the Contras in Nicaragua. Under the Boland Amendment, further funding of the Contras by the government had been prohibited by Congress.
Word Shakespeare Made Up of the Week: dawn – time of sunrise. King Henry V Act IV Prologue : Henry V: next day after dawn, doth rise and help Hyperion to his horse...
Amazing Thing on the Internet of the Week: Cray Machine. Lowercase letters have never been this fun! http://www.zefrank.com/snm/index.html
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck pretending to be a polar bear in the case of the Downtown Doberman.
I ride a horse because I can't afford a unicorn.
..........All the fathers that have sons.........Junior Wells …..Vietcong Blues
^^^^^ The Keating Five were five US Senators accused of corruption during the Reagan years, igniting a major political scandal as part of the larger Savings and Loan crisis. The five senators – Alan Cranston (D, CA), Dennis DeConcini (D, AZ), John Glenn (D, OH), John McCain (R, AZ), and Donald W. Riegle, Jr. (D, MI) – were accused of improperly intervening in 1987 on behalf of Charles H. Keating, Jr., Chairman of the Lincoln Savings and Loan Association, which was the target of a regulatory investigation by the Federal Home Loan Bank Board (FHLBB). The FHLBB subsequently backed off taking action against Lincoln.
Month of the Week: December is Bingo Birthday Month --

Famous Kansans: Duane Pope, bank robber and murderer was born in Roxbury in 1943. Ten Most Wanted Fugitive #214: On June 11, 1965, Pope surrendered to local police in KCMO shortly after he was added to the “Top Ten”list. http://www.kshs.org/archives/306872
Today's Peace of History, December 9, 1990: Solidarity trade union founder and leader Lech Walesa won Poland's presidential runoff election in a 3-1 landslide. He thus became the first directly elected Polish leader. Poland only became an independent country at the end of World War I.
JUNIOR: Daddy, there's a man at the circus who jumps on a horse's back, slips underneath his belly, catches hold of its tail and finishes on the horse's neck! FATHER: That's nothing. I did all that the first time I rode a horse!
..........So different and so new.........Kenny Vance …..This Magic Moment
Masthead of the Week: fRiday ePistle December 9, 2016, ePistlegait. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ No end of non-news now. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS 66046
Moonbeam: You know how I always believe in the future … Without disorder, the revolution is impossible; knowing that, I did not lose hope, and I do not lose it now. --Peter Kropotkin
Cost of War:
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 12/8/16: $756,531,276,009.
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 12/1/16: $755,877,105,144.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 12/8/16: $820,042,625,147.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 12/1/16: $820,023,506,958.
Tax dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 12/8/16: $12,654,521,974.
Tax dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 12/1/16: $12,553,958,006.
Tax dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 12/8/16: $136,606,499,371.
Tax dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 12/1/16: $136,046,946,713.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 12/8/16: $1,729,694,294,526.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 12/1/16: $1,728,328,083,807.
Pay attention to the hungry, both in this country and around the world. Pay attention to the poor. Pay attention to our responsibilities for world peace. We are our brother’s keeper…” George McGovern
..........As the river circles on its endless journey.........Donny Osmond …..At the Edge of the World
A horse's misbehavior will be in direct proportion to the number of people who are watching.
Famous Last Words: ….newborn king. The Gang A Charlie Brown Christmas
May Peace pace your paiffe
And Joy jog your pirouette
prairie mama
christine


Last Laugh:





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