Friday, December 30, 2016

ePistle aNno

Famous First Words: Pour, oh pour the pirate sherry.....Pirates of Penzance
Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right --Oprah Winfrey/ If 2016 were a year, we could sue it for pain, suffering, humiliation, and lost wages. / With the Jewish New Year, we fast, we can’t turn on the lights, we confess our sins. Happy New Year. What a party. A bunch of guilty hungry people sitting in the dark. --Billy Crystal
..........You cross your fingers and hold your heart.........Chorus …..Another Openin' Another Show (Kiss Me Kate)
"Each time a person stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, these ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance." --Robert Kennedy
I am not well this morning. This is the third day that I have awaken dizzy and lightly nauseous. Yesterday it went away mid morning; but today it's back. I do not believe that I am seriously ill but it is a drag and I am having trouble focusing on my usual greeting.
Happy New Year, ePistliers !!
2016 – At last a reason to be glad for Alzheimer's Disease. / An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. --Bill Vaughan
..........Mr Fritz is full of Schlitz and full of play.........Bianca …..Always True to You (in My Fashion)
Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday to the American Meteorological Society !
^ What is a black blizzard?
^^ Where is the windiest place on the planet?
^^^ Care to guess what the coldest temperature ever officially recorded is?
^^^^ What weather phenomenon often follows a volcanic eruption?
^^^^^ Which is more deadly, summer heat or winter cold?
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 77% of librarian Christmas cards are pictures of their pissed off cats wearing Santa hats. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Moonbeam: Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind. --Rudyard Kipling
Remember, you can reset your resolutions on January 14th (Orthodox New Year) and/or January 29th (Chinese New Year), after that, nothing can help you. / Avoid noisy, expensive, over-hyped New Year Eve parties by hanging out at our place wondering what you're missing at those other parties.
..........We next play Verona...........Chorus …...We Open in Venice
Something to Think About of the Week: Thank you so much for being part of my life this year. I wish you humor and peace through out the next one.
Big Hello: Tierva - Inari Saami (Urals)
Week of the Week: It's About Time Week (December 25-31) – I heard a really good time travel joke tomorrow. / For Christmas I got a device to fetch futuristic herbs; I call it my Thyme Machine.
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: NewCon PDX – Anime Convention in Portland, OR (Dec 30 – Jan 1)

New Year's is a holiday created by calendar companies who don't want you reusing last year's. / Who has time to party on New Year's Eve? It takes me all evening to set my clocks ahead a year. --William Ader
.......... Just declaim a few lines from “Othella”.........First & Second Gangster …..Brush Up Your Shakespeare
^ Dirt mixed with wind makes dust storms called black blizzards.
Almanac: It is Friday, December 30, 2016. The moon was new on Wednesday and is in Capricorn. It is Bacon Day, National Bicarbonate of Soda Day, and Falling Needles Family Fest Day. There is a bank holiday in Bolivia, Chile, and El Salvador. Iran celebrates the birthday of Iman Reza. Because this is the last business day of The Year it is also No Interruptions Day.
Among those born on this day were Titus (39), Alessandro Piccinini (1566), William Croft (1678), Heinrich Ebell (1775), Theodor Fontane (1819), Rudyard Kipling (1865), Simon Guggenheim (1867), Alfred Einstein (1880), Dmitri Kabalevsky (1904), Christine Auwen (1907), Bert Parks (1914), Bo Diddley (Ellas Bates, 1928), Skeeter Davis (Mary Penick, 1931), Russ Tamblyn (1934), Sandy Koufax (1935), John Hartford (1937), Del Shannon (Charles Westover, 1939), James Burrows (1940), Michael Nesmith (1942), Davy Jones (1945), Jeff Lynne (1947), Matt Lauer (1957), Tracy Ullman (1959), and Tiger Woods (1975).
On December thirtith Dido & Aeneas premiered (1689), the first coffee plant was sown in Hawaii (1817), the Gadsden Purchase was made (1854), the American Metrological Society formed (1873), the Pirates of Penzance premiered (1879), Sun Yat-sen was elected the first president of the Republic of China (1911), Wake Up and Dream premiered (1929), the United Auto Workers staged a sit-down strike at Fisher Body (1936), California opened its first freeway (Arroyo Seco, 1940), Kiss Me Kate opened (1948), Skylab sent back the first space photos of comet Kohoutek (1973), Gretaky set an NHL record 60 goals by the 39th game of season (1981), and the Vatican recognized Israel (1993).
Tonight's Sky: Can you spot the fingernail-thin crescent Moon in twilight? It's less than two days old as seen after sunset from North America. Look low in the southwest 30 to 50 minutes after the Sun goes down. The Moon is located about 30° (three fists at arm's length) to the lower right of shiny Venus.
This Week: Saturday, December 31 - Make Up You Mind Day & National Champagne Day
Night Sky, December 31: As twilight fades, catch the crescent Moon, Venus, and Mars forming a diagonal, gently curving line in the southwest. Left of the line twinkles Fomalhaut, 25 light-years away — the same distance as Vega, the brightest star in the northwest.
Sunday, January 1 – World Day of Peace & New Years Day
Monday, January 2 – National Science Fiction Day & Pet Travel and Safety Day
Tuesday, January 3 – J.R.R. Tolkien Day
Night Sky, January 3: Quadrantids Meteor Shower is an above average shower, with up to 40 meteors per hour at its peak. It is thought to be produced by dust grains left behind by an extinct comet known as 2003 EH1.
Wednesday, January 4 – World Braille Day & Trivia Day
Night Sky, January 4: Earth at Perihelion
Thursday, January 5 – Bird Day
Night Sky, January 5: The Moon is first quarter in Aries.
Every New Year's I have the same question: How did I get home? --Melanie White / On New Years just remember, if your cup runneth over, you've probably reached your limit. – Melanie White
..........My purse has yet to know a silver lining.........Bianca …..Tom, Dick or Harry
^^ From February 1912 to December 1913, scientists measured the wind speed at Cape Denison, a rocky point at the head of Commonwealth Bay in east Antarctica. To this day it is recognized as the windiest sea level station on Earth. The windiest hour was recorded on 6 July 1913 at 95mph (153km/h).
Funniest thing I read of the Week: I'm safe in the knowledge that I'll never get sent to the nuthouse. My therapist says that I'd be a bad influence on the rest of the patients.
Moonbeam: As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. --Albert Einstein
Late Night Snacks: Amazon's home assistance device, "The echo," is already sold out until after the holidays. In the meantime, if you want to yell at something to turn off the lights or music in your house, just try your kids. --Jimmy Fallon / According to a recent study, Pokémon go players have collectively walked 5.7 billion miles while using the app. They've walked everywhere except into a job interview. --Seth Meyers / A study has confirmed that eating less increases your lifespan. The study goes on to advise the residents of Wisconsin to get their affairs in order. --Conan O'Brien
"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." --Theodore Roosevelt
Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to. --Bill Vaughan / My New Years Resolution? I'll probably keep it at 1280x1024 like always. Thanks for asking.

..........But when the thermometer goes way up..........Paul and the Chorus …..Too Darn Hot
^^^ The lowest natural temperature ever directly recorded at ground level on Earth is −89.2 °C (−128.6 °F; 184.0 K), which was at the Soviet Vostok Station in Antarctica, on July 21, 1983.
Worthless Fact of the Week: The 1936–1937 Flint sit-down strike against General Motors (also known as the General Motors sit-down strike, the great GM sit-down strike, and other variants) changed the United Automobile Workers (UAW) from a collection of isolated locals on the fringes of the industry into a major labor union and led to the unionization of the domestic United States automobile industry.
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Before we discuss destroying the competition, screwing our customers, and laughing all the way to the bank, let's begin this meeting with a prayer. --submitted by ma of oh
Weird Word of the Week: Nudiustertian – the day before yesterday. Coined by Nathaniel Ward, 1647. http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-nug1.htm
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Soothe a sore throat. Take one teaspoon of SueBee Honey at bedtime, letting it trickle down the throat. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/suebee.html
My new years resolution is not to shovel snow. Since I'm gonna be in Florida, I feel pretty good about it. --Grey Tamblyn / A new years resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
...........In love with the night mysterious..........Fred …..So in Love
^^^^ Lightning often follows a volcanic eruption.
Word Shakespeare Made Up of the Week: Dishearten – discourage, disappoint, dispirit. Henry V Act IV Prologue Henry V: ... yet, in reason, no man should possess him with any appearance of fear, lest he, by showing it, should dishearten his army.
Amazing Thing on the Internet of the Week: Neil DeGrasse Tyson, Michael Strauss, & Richard Gott talk about their book Welcome to the Universe: An Astrophysical Tour... https://www.c-span.org/video/?417035-1/astrophysicists-discuss-welcome-universe
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck as R2K9 chasing winter shadows in the case of
the Shimmering Shiba.
My grandparents had resolutions like donating more time & money to charities. I've decided to make my own coffee once a week. --Erica / Let's put significant pressure on ourselves to have a fun New Year's Eve.
..........Though roosters they, I will not play the hen...........Lillie …...I Hate Men
^^^^^ Winter cold kills more than twice as many Americans as summer heat does.
Month of the Week: January is National Soup Month. --This soup is so salty, Lot's wife wouldn't eat it. / I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and burp a better argument than that.
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I spend a majority of my time trying to avoid software updates. --Bumper Sticker
Famous Kansans: It doesn't seem to be know where Marc Sappington, the Kansas City Vampire, was born in 1978, but he did his vamping in Kansas City, KS. Murderer and cannibal. http://www.crimezzz.net/serialkillers/S/SAPPINGTON_marc.php
Today's Peace of History: President Richard Nixon ordered an end to US bombing of North Vietnam. The most recent air strikes had been retaliation for North Vietnam’s walking out of the peace negotiations in Paris and pressure to force it to submit to US Terms. (1972)
Wait a second, there's ANOTHER year? I have to do this all over again??? --Jake Vig / It may be the anti-depressants, but I'm feeling somewhat optimistic about 2017.
..........With a hunny, nunny, nunny, and a hey, hey, hey...........Petruchio …..I've Come to Wive It Wealthily in Padua
Masthead of the Week: fRiday ePistle December 30, 2016, ePistle aNno. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ There have been times in the last year when I have annoyed you, disturbed you, irritated you, and bugged the hell out of you...Just want you to know I plan to continue that in 2017. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS 66046
Moonbeam: It's like a woman's birthright to knit. It's primal. It's timeless. You don't need electricity to knit. You can do it with a candle... --Tracey Ullman
Cost of War:
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 12/29/16: $758,575,010,896.
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 12/22/16: $757,911,706,567.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 12/29/16: $820,102,356,559.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 12/22/16: $820,082,971,307.
Tax dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 12/29/16: $12,968,640,557.
Tax dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 12/22/16: $12,866,674,477.
Tax dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 12/29/16: $138,354,316,814.
Tax dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 12/22/16: $137,786,957,012.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 12/29/16: $1,733,962,361,874.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 12/22/16: $1,732,577,065,446.
"A man who stands for nothing, will fall for anything!" -- Malcolm X
..........Were thine the rhythm'd grace..........Petruchio …..Were Thine That Special Face
Deer readers, my gnu years resolution is to tell you a gazelleon times how much I caribou you! Sorry. Bad puns. Alpaca bag and leave. --Greg Tamblyn / With any luck the world will end in 2017 and I won't be held accountable for my New Year's resolutions.
Famous Last Words: There she is Miss America. --Bert Parks
May Peace fill your calendar
And Joy fill your days
prairie mama
christine
Last Laugh:

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Friday, December 23, 2016

aVian ePistle

Famous First Words: Good Morning, Breakfast Clubbers. --Don McNeill's Breakfast Club
We are in the middle of the Annual Audubon Bird Count (December 14 – January 5). Welcome to the accounting department where everybody counts. / Counters in Alabama noticed that when ducks fly upside down they tend to quack up.
..........They say that what you mock will surely overtake you.........U2 …..Peace on Earth
Christmas is joy, religious joy, an inner joy of light and peace. --Pope Francis
It is a dark Friday morning. The temperature (36°F) is emphasized by the 10 mph Southeast winds. The sky is a solid gray with streaks of darker gray changing with the breeze. The rising sun is totally hidden behind this thick barrier of humidity. Puck finishes his business and deserts me; he trots up the deck stairs to the back door and convinces the people inside to let him in. But Pepper and Pax come out to keep me company. Kirsten, dressed in her elf outfit, comes out with a Merry Christmas and a hope they can get off early from work since there is nothing to do. There is no birdsong though a cardinal flies in to sit on the bare bush near the feeder. The dawn sound track is harsh...motors near and far and trash trucks; not even a Puck bark to give it life. The cold drives me back inside. Warmth and comfort spill out of each room and Puck greets me as if I have been gone on a long journey and have finally returned safely. Best of all, now, I get to sit here tasting sweet, creamy decaf and wishing you the very merriest of whatever holiday you care to celebrate.
Merry Christmas and a wonderful holiday season, ePistliers.
If people who love each other are called “love birds” shouldn't people who hate each other be called “angry birds”? / Wall Street counters only counted the birds that came to invest money in the stork market.
..........brothers all are we.........Sharefare …..Let There Be Peace on Earth
Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday to A Visit from St. Nicholas !
^ Who wrote the poem also known as Twas the night before Christmas...?
^^ In what country did the real St. Nicholas live?
^^^ Know where the poem was first published?
^^^^ More or less how much did a hand written -signed by Moore- copy of the poem fetch in 2006?
^^^^^ In what meter is the poem written?
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: This December 95% of librarians will have a book tree posted to their facebook timeline. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Happy Jólabókaflóđ!** Christmas Book Flood (Icelandic)
Moonbeam: Great ages of art come only when a widespread creative impulse meets and equally widespread impulse of sympathy. --Harriet Monroe
Andrew grew to resent the four calling birds his true love gave to him after he got his telephone bill. / Counters in Hawaii kept hearing music and singing long before they came upon the Parrots of Penzance.
..........Turning water into wine.........Eddie Money …..Peace in Our Time
Something to Think About of the Week: Spirit of winter rest, help us to enjoy your peace in this quiet time. Remind us to pause during this season. --Christine Robinson http://www.uua.org/worship/words/meditation/5530.shtml
Big Hello: Kablaaw – Iloko (Philippines)
Today is Festivus:

I understand that a crow has one less pinion feather than a raven. So whether you count them as crow or raven is a matter of o'pinion. / Hummingbirds are only humming because they can't remember the words.
.......... Peace on Earth and mercy mild.........Elvis Presley …..Hark the Herald Angels Sing
^ The poem is popularly believed to have been written by Clement Clarke Moore, however, others believe that it was written by Henry Livingston, Jr. If you are really bored, you can read about the controversy at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Visit_from_St._Nicholas
Almanac: It is Friday, December 23, 2016. The moon was last quarter last Wednesday and is in Scorpio. It is National Pfeffernusse Day, National Roots Day, Festivus, and Human Light Celebration. In Egypt it is Victory Day and in Montego Bay, Jamaica it is John Canoe Day aka Junkunu.
Among those born on this day were Pieter Bockenberg (1548), Richard Arkwright (1732), Aleksandr Romanov (1777), Jean-Franҫois Champollion (1790), Joseph Smith Jr (1805), Thomas Malthus (1834), Harriet Monroe (1860), Don McNeill (1907), Helmut Schmidt (1918), Jose Greco (1918), Leonard Stern (1923), Robert Bly (1926), Karol Bobko (1937), Tim Hardin (1941), Harry Shearer (1943), Ronald Bushy (1945), Susan Lucci (1949), Eddie Vedder and Slash (1965), and Corey Haim (1971).
On December twenty-third the Peace of Atrecht was signed (1482), the Continental Congress took out a loan from France for $181,500 to finance the war (1776), Benedict Arnold was court-martialed (1779), Maryland voted to cede land for the District of Columbia (1788), Turkey proclaimed its constitution (1876), van Gogh cut off his left ear (1888), L'apres-midi d'un faune premiered (1894), the first Keystone Kops film was released (1912), the Federal Reserve Act was signed into law (1913), BBC Radio began daily newscasts (1922), NBC set up a coast-to-coast radio network (1928), Castro offered to trade 1,113 prisoners from the Bay of Pigs invasion for $62 million worth of food and medical supplies (1961), Borman, Lovell, and Anders orbited the moon (1968), The Young and the Restless debuted (1973), Congress passed the Metric Conversion Act (1975), and Squeaky Fromme escaped from Alderson Prison (1987).
Tonight's Sky: the Ursid Meteor Shower is waning but still around. 10-15 meteors per hour, not that exciting.
This Week: Saturday, December 24 – Hanukkah (12/24-1/1) & Christmas Eve
Sunday, December 25 – A'phabet Day aka No “L” Day & Christmas
Night Sky, December 25: Mars and Neptune rise close together after sunset.
Monday, December 26 – Boxing Day & National Thank-You Note Day
Night Sky, December 26: Jupiter and Saturn are both visible before sunrise.
Tuesday, December 27 – Hoody Doody Day & Visit the Zoo Day
Night Sky, December 27: Mercury, Venus and Uranus are all visible after sunset.
Wednesday, December 28 – Endangered Species Act Day
Thursday, December 29 – YMCA Day & Tick Tock Day
Night sky, December 29: Orion, perhaps the most beautiful of constellations, can be seen in the south.
Birds run over by the lawnmower are counted as shredded tweet. / My birding mentor's 14 year old daughter had taken a message for her father while he was out. When he returned, this is what he got. "Daddy, Mr Jones called, he said the Upland Plovers were in at the airport but he didn't give me a flight number".
.......... Imagine all the people living life in peace..........John Lennon …..Imagine
^^ The original Saint Nicholas lived in the village of Patara which was in Greece at that time but is now part of Turkey.
Funniest thing I read of the Week: America sure is having some bad luck. It's almost like it was built on an ancient Indian burial ground. --Submitted by ra of ks
Moonbeam: The histories of mankind are histories only of the higher classes. --Thomas Malthus
Tis the Season of the Week:

Late Night Snacks: We’re just 10 days away from Christmas! And if you want to know if Santa has you on his “nice” list or his “naughty” list, just ask Russia to hack it for you. --Jimmy Fallon / According to a new report, the cost of all the gifts listed in “The Twelve Days of Christmas” song is up $233 from last year. Man, that Lords a Leaping union is killing us.--Conan O'Brien / Uber just rolled out a new regulation — you can now get banned from the ride-sharing service if you have sex in one of their cars. Cab drivers heard this and they were like, “We’re back, baby!” --James Corden / Google released their list of the most-searched phrases of 2016. The top-trending search terms were Powerball, Prince, Hurricane Matthew, and Pokémon Go. I think that sums up our priorities as Americans: money, celebrities, the weather, and playing games on our phones --Jimmy Kimmel / Today Donald Drumpf chose Rex Tillerson, Exxon Mobil CEO, as his secretary of state. Tillerson is an interesting pick. For one thing, he’s an oil main who believes in climate change. Well, of course he believes in it! He’s from Exxon — he INVENTED it. It’s pride of ownership. It’s his baby! --Stephen Colbert
Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas. --Calvin Coolidge
Miriam didn't know whether to count those greasy, gray spots as melted penguins. / Did you ever notice that when ducks migrate in their vee pattern one side is always longer than the other. Know why? The long side has more ducks in it.
..........Give me peace on earth.........George Harrison …..Give Me Love
^^^ The poem was first published anonymously in the Troy, New York Sentinel, December 23, 1823.
Worthless Fact of the Week: During the American Revolution, a cash-strapped Continental Congress accepted loans from France. Paying off these and other debts incurred during the Revolution proved one of the major challenges of the post-independence period. The new US Government attempted to pay off these debts in a timely manner, but the debts were at times a source of diplomatic tension.
Weird Word of the Week: Machinima – image-generating computer engines. “Making digital movies is now as easy as playing PC games” . http://www.worldwidewords.org/turnsofphrase/tp-mac1.htm
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Dear World, Did you not read my book? Sincerely, G. Orwell. --submitted by jgk of ks
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Dress wounds and burns. Apply SueBee Honey to the injury. Honey is hygroscopic and absorbs water, creating an environment in which disease-producing microorganisms, deprived of their moisture, cannot live. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/suebee.html
Do you know the easiest way to count a unique bird. Unique up on it. / Know the easiest way to count a tame bird? Tame way, unique up on it.
...........Ev'rybody's talking about Ministers, Sinisters, Banisters and canisters.........John Lennon and Yoko Ono …..Give Peace a Chance
^^^^A handwritten and signed copy of the poem was sold by one collector to another collector for $280,000 in 2006.
Word Shakespeare Made Up of the Week: Discontent - dissatisfaction, disaffection. Titus Andronicus Act I Scene I Saturninus: Rest on my word, and let not discontent daunt all your hopes...
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day. --Phyllis Diller
Amazing Thing on the Internet of the Week: Night of the Northern Lights. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVsONlc3OUY
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck disguised as R2-D2 in the case of the Rogue Rotterman.
Folks along the Oregon coast keep track of their count with piles of pebbles on the sand, but last year they were accused of an inaccurate count so this year they are leaving no tern unstoned / The idea was to get veterinarian students to count sick birds but instead they gave giving them tweetments.
..........We got to have joy, true in our hearts.........Curtis Mayfield …..We Got to Have Peace
^^^^^ The poem's meter is anapestic tetrameter (four feet of unstressed-unstressed-stressed). The anapest is the same foot used to construct limericks, and the common metrical modifications that can be observed in the limerick form also can be observed in Moore's poem.
Month of the Week: December is 3D Prevention Month (Drunk & Drugged Driving) - A policeman pulls a driver over for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow into a breathalyzer. "I can't do that, officer -- I'm an asthmatic. I could have an asthma attack if I blow into that tube." "OK, we'll just get a urine sample down at the station." "Can't do that either, officer. I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup." "Alright, we could get a blood sample." "Can't do that either, officer. I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood, I could die." "Fine then, just walk this white line." "Can't do that either, officer." "Now, why not?" "Because I'm drunk."
Almost Famous Kansans: Harriet E. Adams wrote of her Christmas as a seven-year-old in Marysville, KS in the mid 1870s: The Christmas which made the first lasting impression upon my mind, I think must have been the one following my seventh birthday . . . [A]fter dark I would peep out of the window, or out of the door to consider anxiously whether all conditions were favorable . . . enough to support that wondrous reindeer drawn sleigh . . . There was no chimney down which he [Santa] could slide safely . . . My concern on this matter finally reached such a pitch that I took it up with Mother. I told her my fears, and she said he would most certainly be able to leave his gifts, for when no large chimney was provided, the parents would leave the door open a crack at least, so he could push his way in with no difficulty whatever ….
Today's Peace of History: December 23, 1943: A 135-day strike by 23 conscientious objectors (COs) ended dining hall segregation at Danbury Federal Penitentiary in Connecticut. The number of conscientious objectors had increased from 15 in early 1941 to 200 by the time of the strike.
When counting birds on the wing, always look for those couple of guys that aren't in the vee. Usually they 're back about ½ mile texting. / The rumor that flocks save up all year just to drop their shit on the counters is untrue.
..........Why are we kicking our own ass.........Lenny Kravitz …..We Want Peace
Masthead of the Week: fRiday ePistle December 23, 2016, aVian ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Did you really expect news?. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS 66046
Last Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you use a walker nobody suspects that you have been drinking. --Submitted by pl of ks
Moonbeam: To be wild is not to be crazy or psychotic. True wildness is a love of nature, a delight in silence, a voice free to say spontaneous things, and an exuberant curiosity in the face of the unknown. --Robert Bly
Cost of War:
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 12/22/16: $757,911,706,567.
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 12/15/16: $757,206,019,936.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 12/22/16: $820,082,971,307.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 12/15/16: $820,062,346,253.
Tax dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 12/22/16: $12,866,674,477.
Tax dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 12/15/16: $12,758,201,434.
Tax dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 12/22/16: $137,786,957,012.
Tax dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 12/15/16: $137,183,390,845.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 12/22/16: $1,732,577,065,446.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 12/15/16: $1,731,103,035,677.
Peace on Earth will come to stay when we live Christmas every day. --Helen Steiner Rice
..........Dreaming about the world as one.........Cat Stevens …..Peace Train
This year's flamingo count was much higher than last year until they discovered that a bunch of them were thanksgiving turkeys on stilts. / Colorado counters were trying to keep up with a flock of redtails who were swooping and darting in the winds. They finally marked it under foul play.
Famous Last Words: he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood. --Francis Pharcellus Church Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus
May Peace prevail on Earth
And Joy prevail also
prairie mama
christine
Last Laugh:





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Friday, December 16, 2016

vErry mErry ePistle

Famous First Words: Larry Thomas bought a cuckoo clock for his wife... Philip K. Dick Beyond the Door
One Christmas, Phil and Will built a skating rink in the middle of a pasture. A shepherd leading his flock decided to take a shortcut across the rink. The sheep, however, were afraid of the ice and wouldn't cross it. Desperate, the shepherd began tugging them to the other side. "Look at that," remarked Phil, "That guy is trying to pull the wool over our ice.
..........soon we'll all be breathin' out of tanks.........ZZ Top …..Squank
Peace does not mean just putting an end to violence or to war, but to all other factors that threaten peace, such as discrimination, such as inequality, poverty. --Aung San Suu Kyi
It is a breezy Friday morning. The sky is a solid slate gray without hint of sun trying to bore through nor hint any of rain or snow to come. The temperature (31°F) rose over night but the wind (E14 mph) pushes the cold around the clothing and into the bones. Birds are still abed and the only sounds are motors rushing to work and the trash truck over a couple of blocks grinding its gears. Puck finishes his morning business and comes to stand by me to let me know he is ready to go back into the warmth. But I linger a moment, my back to the wind, watching the neighborhood rest peacefully under this blanket of cold. Enough. We return to our rooms that smell of coffee and incense, of heat and comfort. And now here I sit, creamy sweet coffee at my side, dog asleep on my pillow, and thoughts of you in my head.
Hope your weekend is a holiday gift, epistliers.
Gajendra wants to travel home for Pancha Ganapati so he calls Air India and asks, “How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?”. The rep says, “Just a sec...” “Thank you,” says Gajendra and hangs up.
It was so cold roosters were applying at Kentucky Fried Chicken.
..........You might not see him in person but he'll see you just the same.........ZZ Top …..Jesus Just Left Chicago
Trivia Questions: Happy 243rd to the Boston Tea Party
^ About how many people attended the party?
^^ What were they protesting, exactly?
^^^ How did George Washington feel about the Tea Party action?
^^^^ How much tea was dumped or how much money was it worth or both, more or less?
^^^^^ When did the action acquire the name “Boston Tea Party”?
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: Academic librarians can , with 98% accuracy, identify the students making their first visit to the library this semester during finals. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Seasonal Photo of the Week: The backyard fountain and bird spa ...

Moonbeam: I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal. --Jane Austen
It is the winter solstice. That means this is the longest night of the year unless your children drug you to see Norm of the North.
It was so cold Starbucks was serving coffee on a stick.
..........I said, Lord, take me downtown.........ZZ Top …..Tush
Something to Think About of the Week: The universe is my home, all beings are my tribe, and Oneness is my religion.
Big Hello: Kedu – Igbo (Nigeria)
Week of the Week: Human Rights Week (December 10-17) --Discussion at a Russian pharmacy: Customer: “I need a tranquilizer…” Pharmacist: “Do you have a prescription?” Customer: “What, a Russian passport is not enough?” / Yesterday I watched the new movie “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes.” So, what do you think? It pales in comparison to yesterday’s statement by Putin.
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Walker Stalker (December 17-18, Charlotte, NC) The Zombie, Horror & Sci-Fi Con that is infecting the US... https://www.showclix.com/event/walker-stalker-con-charlotte

This guy goes into a restaurant for breakfast while in his hometown for Kwanzaa. After looking over the menu he says, "I'll just have the eggs Benedict." His order comes a while later and it's served on a big, shiny hubcap. He asks the waiter, "What's with the hubcap?" The waiter says, "Well, there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise."
It was so cold HD Lee started making electric jeans.
.......... Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah.........ZZ Top …..Cheap Sunglasses
^ Dozens of colonists boarded three ships in Boston Harbor. The band of protesters was tight-lipped. Even after independence, they refused to reveal their identities, fearing they could still face civil and criminal charges as well as condemnation from elites for engaging in mob behavior and the wanton destruction of private property. Even today, only the names of some of the participants are known.
Almanac: It is Friday, December 16, 2016. The moon was full (cold) last Tuesday and is in Leo. It is National Chocolate-Covered Anything Day and Barbie & Barney Backlash Day. Because it is the third Friday it is also National Ugly Christmas Sweater Day and Underdog Day. In Bahrain it is National Day and in Bangladesh it is Victory Day (1971). Nepál celebrates Constitution Day (1962).
Among those born on this day were Catherine of Aragon (1485), Giovanni Casini (1652), Georg Weimar (1734), Ludwig van Beethoven (1770), Jane Austen (1775), E.E. Barnard (1857), Walther Meissner (1882), Noel Coward (1899), Margaret Mead (1901), Arthur C Clarke (1917), G Randall Garrett (1927), Peter Dickinson (1927), Philip K Dick (1928), Liv Ullman (1929), Billy Gibbons (ZZ Top, 1949), William "the Refrigerator" Perry (1962), Benjamin Bratt (1963), and Billy Ripkin (1964).
On December sixteenth England's Henry VI was crowned king of France (1431), English Parliament adopted the Bill of Rights after the Glorious Revolution (1689), the Boston Tea Party was held (1773), the Republic of South Africa formed (1880), Dvorak's New World Symphony premiered (1893), Variety was first published (1905), and President Clinton named his Labrador retriever Buddy (1997).
Tonight's Sky: Siriusrise? To the east-southeast horizon, watch for Sirius to come up about two fists at arm's length below Orion's Belt. It rises now sometime around 8 pm depending on your location
This Week: Saturday, December 17 – Saturnalia (begins) & Wright Brothers Day
Sunday, December 18 – Answer the Phone Like Buddy the Elf Day & Give A Wine Club Day
Night Sky, December 18: Mercury, Venus and Uranus are all visible after sunset.
Monday, December 19 – National Hard Candy Day
Tuesday, December 20 – Mudd Day, International Human Solidarity Day, & National Sangria Day
Night Sky, December 20: Moon is last quarter in Virgo. Mars and Neptune rise close together after sunset.
Wednesday, December 21 – Pancha Ganapati (begins) & Yalda aka Winter Solstice aka Dong zhi aka Sanghamitta aka Shalako aka yule ...
Thursday, December 22 – National Re-Gifting Day
Night Sky, December 22: Jupiter and Saturn are both visible before sunrise.

It was so cold we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside it to warm up.
.......... Silk suit, black tie.........ZZ Top …..Sharp Dress Man
^^ The tea partiers were not protesting a tax hike, but a corporate tax break. The Tea Act was a government bail out of a company on the brink of financial collapse.
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Today I'm doing nothing because I started doing it yesterday and I wasn't finished. I'm no quitter. --Submitted by bg of ks
Moonbeam: We won't have a society if we destroy the environment. --Margaret Mead
Late Night Snacks: This weekend is SantaCon, which is the annual bar crawl where people dress up like Santa Claus for a day of drinking. That’s right, a drunken bar crawl wearing a Santa suit, or as the real Santa calls that —December 26. --Jimmy Fallon / Starbucks has come out with a new Frappuccino that’s named after Pokémon Go. They’re saying it has “the taste of something you lost interest in around September.” --Conan O'Brien / According to a recent study of social media, Dec. 11 is the day when are you most likely to be dumped by your boyfriend or girlfriend. Why not simplify your holiday season? Combine the breakup with the Christmas gift. “So I hope you like what I got you, it’s a Match.com membership.” --James Corden / Congratulations to Mick Jagger, who just became the father of a baby boy. His eighth child. His oldest child is 46 years old. Mick Jagger himself is 73 years old. They say the baby looks just look his dad, all wrinkly. --Jimmy Kimmel / Facebook has filed a patent on a system to automatically identify and remove posts containing fake news, and just after the nick of time. --Seth Meyers / There is a trend of Drumpf appointing people to head things they’re against. I’m looking forward to Surgeon General Joe Camel. --Stephen Colbert
See the world as it is; strive to make it as it should be. --Matshona Dhliwayo
Blessed Eid Al-Fitr: "When I was in the desert," said Nasruddin one day, "I caused an entire tribe of horrible and bloodthirsty bedouins to run." "However did you do it?" asked a person. "Easy. I just ran, and they ran after me.
It was so cold flames froze in the fireplace. Mom would break them off, grind them up, and serve stuffed peppers.
..........Passing out handbills on Austin Street.........ZZ Top …..Heaven, Hell, or Houston
^^^ George Washington condemned the Boston Tea Party. Although America’s foremost Revolutionary figure wrote in June 1774 that “the cause of Boston…ever will be considered as the cause of America,” he strongly voiced his disapproval of “their conduct in destroying the Tea.”
Worthless Fact of the Week: Henry, he only child of King Henry V, was born at Windsor Castle in 1421 and succeeded to the thone at age nine month and crowned King of France in December of 1431.
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I took the road less traveled...Now, I don't know where the hell I am. --Submitted by bm of ga
Weird Word of the Week: Logocidal – destruction or perversion of meaning of words – something deadly to reason and communication. Newspeak in 1984 is an example. http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-log3.htm
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Dress wounds and burns. Apply SueBee Honey to the injury. Honey is hygroscopic and absorbs water, creating an environment in which disease-producing microorganisms, deprived of the moisture, cannot live. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/suebee.html

It was so cold traffic updates warned of icebergs on the freeway.
...........Ain't got no rap, ain't got no line.........ZZ Top …..Rough Boy
^^^^ 342 cases, 92,000 pounds of tea (18.5 million teabags) with a present day value of about $1 million.
Word Shakespeare Made Up of the Week: to stun or overwhelm with noise. King Henry IV, Part II Act III, Scene I King Henry IV: ...with deafening clamour in the slippery clouds...
Third Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Corrupt politicians make the other ten percent look bad. --Henry Kissinger
Amazing Thing on the Internet of the Week: Once again Pot in the Latkis on YouTube is the Hanukkah video of choice. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmR93QA9fy0
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck investigating a package that smells suspiciously of pork tenderloin in the Case of the Christmas Crustie.
 
It was so cold it took me two hours to walk one block, my shadow kept freezing to the sidewalk.
..........She was floatin' across the ceiling.........ZZ Top …..My Head's in Mississippi
^^^^^ For years, Bostonians referred to the protest as “the destruction of the tea”. The earlies reference to “Boston Tea Party” appeared in 1826. http://www.history.com/news/10-things-you-may-not-know-about-the-boston-tea-party
Last Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I am the Ghost of Christmas Future Imperfect Conditional, said the Spirit. I bring news of what would have been going to happen, if you were not to have been going to change your ways. --Submitted by sd of ks
Month of the Week: December is Youngsters on the Air Month – Little know fact, David Copperfield got his start as a child magician on the John Jones Radio Talent Hunt radio show.
Famous Kansans: Dennis Rader, the Wichita BTK (bind, torture, kill) murderer, was born in Wichita in 1945. http://www.biography.com/people/dennis-rader-241487
Today's Peace of History: "War is Over! If You Want It, Happy Christmas from John & Yoko" posters began appearing. (1969) 


Mary goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Hanukkah cards and she says to the cashier, 'May I have 50 Hanukkah stamps?' The cashier says, 'What denomination?' Miriam says, 'Oy vey, has it come to this? OK, give me 6 Orthodox, 12 Conservative, and 32 Reform.'
It was so cold even the politicians stopped blowing hot air.
..........Don't have to tell nobody how their tail ought to lay.........ZZ Top …..Lizard Life
Masthead of the Week: fRiday ePistle December 16, 2016. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ What is news anyway?. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS 66046
I Lied...Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm disappointed in Sarah Palin more than any other human being. She saw what Russia was doing from her back yard and chose to say nothing.--submitted by pl of ks
Moonbeam: I choose what I believe, and say nothing. For I am not as simple as I may seem. --Catherine of Aragon
Cost of War:
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 12/15/16: $757,206,019,936.
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 12/8/16: $756,531,276,009.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 12/15/16: $820,062,346,253.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 12/8/16: $820,042,625,147.
Tax dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 12/15/16: $12,758,201,434.
Tax dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 12/8/16: $12,654,521,974.
Tax dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 12/15/16: $137,183,390,845.
Tax dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 12/8/16: $136,606,499,371.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 12/15/16: $1,731,103,035,677.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 12/8/16: $1,729,694,294,526.
Our highest deed comes from helping the lowest people. --Matshona Dhliwayo
..........Well I was rollin' down the road in some cold blue steel.........ZZ Top …. .I'm Bad, I'm Nationnwide
A Russian couple was walking down the street in St. Petersburg the other night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining," he said to his wife. "No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied. "No, I'm sure it was just rain, he said." Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a minor communist party official walking toward them. "Let's not fight about it," the man said, "let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing." As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?" "It's raining, of course," he answered and walked on. But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!" To which the man quietly replied: "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"
Famous Last Words: But no one heard him. Philip K. Dick Beyond the Door
May Peace fill your holidays
And Joy your winter
prairie mama
christine


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