pUnitive ePistle

 Famous First Words: When Caroline Meeber boarded the afternoon train... Theodore Dreiser Sister Carrie

It's Aid And Abet Punsters Day!! It seems there were two frogs sitting on a lily pad, when all of a sudden, a fly came along. One frog put out his tongue, ate the fly, and started laughing hysterically. Soon the other frog joined in the laughter. Later in the day, the other frog ate a fly and the two frogs burst out in laughter. As time went on, the frogs enjoyed the flies so much that the sight of a fly would cause them to double up with pleasure (if it's possible for frogs to double up!). But of course, the most pleasure came when the fly was actually eaten. A third frog hopped up to the first two and asked what was so funny. The first frog answered "Time." "Huh?" asked the third frog. The second frog explained: "Time's fun when you're having flies." --Grieg Olsen

..........It's more trouble than it's worth..........Ricky Lee Jones …..Livin It Up

Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate. --John F Kennedy Inaugural Address

It is a cool (47°F) Friday morning. The sky is a dirty white with a few patches of actual gray. Old Sol has not broken the thick cloud sleet anywhere. Breezes are very light and move only the tips of plants; wind chimes jiggle without chiming and crispy hydrangeas sway but do not drop their petals. There is still substantial green but browns and yellows are gaining ground and tree limbs. Puck is asleep with his face between two pillows at the head of the bed. Perhaps it is his way of celebrating Dunce Day. I am sipping half-caf and munching on cream cheese and crackers. NPR is quietly playing in another room; a woman is talking about NCU and KU playing basketball this evening. It is a peaceful, easy morning and I get to write to you. What a beautiful morning, indeed.

Hope this weekend all you encounter is punny, ePistlers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It was her habit to build laughter out of inadequate materials. --John Steinbeck The Grapes of Wrath

A king carried environmentalism too far when he prohibited hunting of any kind. Soon the realm was overrun with lions and tigers and bears. "Oh My!" shouted the people. They revolted and threw the king out of the country. It was the first time the reign was called because of the game. --Grieg Olsen

..........She may be a highbrow; I've seen her change it three times a day.........Bonnie Raitt & Sippy Wallace …..Women Be Wise

Trivia Questions: Happy 135^th Birthday to Montana!

• ^ What is the capital of Montana?
• ^^ What is the origin of the name Montana?
• ^^^ To which large bodies of water do Montana's many rivers run?
• ^^^^ For what is Montanan Jeanette Rankin known?
• ^^^^^ What three tribes united to defeat Custer at Little Bighorn?

Big Hello: Dona dia – Papiamento (Aruba & Netherlands Antilles) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The people who ruined the world have ties and business suits not tattoos and bikes. --Submitted by bc of tx

Image of the Week: Jane Live and Christine Smith at the Lawrence Rally for Women's Rights

Library Humor of the Week: Seriously, hear me out: A Scholastic Book Fair for Adults at a Bar. https://www.facebook.com/librarylaughs/

While hiking in the woods, Nate and Sam found this huge rock which had an old iron lever attached to it. Etched into the rock was the following inscription: "If this lever is pulled, the world will come to an end!" Nate wanted to pull the lever and see what would happen, but Sam, being a paranoid pessimist, greatly feared this! He said to Nate that if he tried to pull the lever, he'd shoot him! In a daring attempt, Nate lunged for the lever, and sure enough, Sam shot him! What is the moral of this story? Better Nate than lever! --Jim Speirs

..........It's all for best, so you say.........Bonnie Raitt …..Too Soon To Tell

Moonbeam: We have all known the long loneliness and we have learned that the only solution is love and that love comes with community. --Dorothy Day

Blasphemy of the Week: It's too hard to sit at tables that Jesus would have flipped. --Jen Boettger Boring

Puzzle of the Week: Name a place somewhere on the globe — in two words. Rearrange the letters of the first word to name some animals. The second word in the place name is something those animals sometimes do. What is it? --NPR Sunday Puzzle 11/3/24

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When the moon hits your eye like it's 5:45, that November --Submitted by RHOZ

..........My old man is another child who's grown old.........Bonnie Raitt & John Prine …..Angel From Montgomery

^ Helena is the capital city of the US state of Montana and the seat of Lewis and Clark County. Helena was founded as a gold camp during the Montana gold rush, and established on October 30, 1864.

Almanac: It is Friday, November 8, 2024. The moon goes into the first quarter tomorrow (11/9) and is in Aquarius. It is Intersex Day of Remembrance, National Parents as Teachers Day, Abet and Aid Punsters Day, Cook Something Bold and Pungent Day, Dunce Day, International Day of Radiology, National S.T.E.M./S.T.E.A.M. Day, Shakespeare Authorship Mystery Day, World Town Planning Day, and X-Ray Day. In Montana it is Admission Day (1889).

Among those born on this day were Edmund Halley (1656), Dorothy Day (1897), Margaret Mitchell (1900), June Havoc (1916), Esther Rolle (1922), Patti Page (1927), Morley Safer (1931), Bonnie Raitt (1949), and Rickie Lee Jones (1954).

On November eighth Bourbon Whiskey was first distilled from corn (1789), the Louvre opened (1793), Montana was admitted to the union (41st, 1889), Cleveland was elected president (1892), Sister Carrie was published (1900), women voted for the first time in Washington state (1910), FDR was elected president for the first time (1932), the first black female legislator was elected (PA, 1938), JFK was elected (1960), and Days of Our Lives premiered (1965).

Night Sky, 1/8: Mercury can be seen low over the southwestern horizon from about 15 minutes after sunset throughout November. https://www.highpointscientific.com/astronomy-hub/post/night-sky-news/whats-in-the-sky-this-month-november-2024

Fraternal Picture of the Week: The Nearly Blind Ghost in cowboy boots and Redsleeves the Unready

This Week: Saturday, November 9 – Carl Sagan Day & National Child Safety Council Day & World Freedom Day

Sunday, November 10 – Sesame Street Day & World Science Day for Peace and Development & Area Code Day

Night Sky, 11/10: Saturn reached opposition in September but remains well-placed for observation throughout the evening, You'll find it in Aquarius.

Monday, November 11 – Armistice Day & Forget-Me-Not Day & Origami Day & World Orphans Day

Tuesday, November 12 – Fancy Rat and Mouse Day & World Pneumonia Day

Night Sky, 11/12: Famously slow and long-lasting, Taurid meteors move across the sky at about 65,000 miles per hour – a fraction of the whizzing 148,000 mph meteors of the Orionid shower. https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2024/11/04/southern-taurid-meteor-shower-2024-peak-activity/76045866007/

Wednesday, November 13 – International Pathology Day & Sandwich Day & World Kindness Day

Thursday, November 14 – International Girls Day & Loosen Up, Lighten Up Day & World Diabetes Day

Mother Lion and Father Lion had gone off hunting, and had told their two children not to wander away. However, a couple of small gnus wandered by, and the baby lions could not resist the temptation to try out their own hunting skills. They ran out, chased after the gnus, killed them, and started eating them. Just as the baby lions were reaching the end of their meal, the parents appeared in the distance. One of the baby lions turned to the other, and said: "That is the end of the gnus. Here again are the head lions."

..........Another day to keep the wheel turnin'.........Bonnie Raitt …..Luck Of The Draw

^^ The origin of Montana's name can be traced back to the Spanish word "montaña," which translates to "mountainous."

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If a plant is sad, do other plants photosympathise with it ?

Moonbeam: The greatest challenge of the day is: how to bring about a revolution of the heart, a revolution which has to start with each one of us. --Dorothy Day

Fun Facts of the Week: Making puns “crosses all major languages and cultures in history,” --John Pollack, an international punning champion and the author of a historical look at the phenomenon, The Pun Also Rises. In San Juan Chamula, Mexico, a tradition of verbal duels called k’ehel k’op, which often revolves around puns, dates back to Mayan times. Traditional Palestinian weddings have featured pun-heavy oral poetry duels for centuries.

Video of the Week: 3 minute clip from the very first episode Days Of Our Lives

Civility is not a sign of weakness. John F Kennedy Inaugural Address

The recent lock-out of the Major League umpires was making them all grumpy. After a tough day of walking the picket lines, one umpire returned home to find that his young boy wanted to play with him. As the tired ump was sitting in his favorite easy chair, the lad kept trying to crawl onto his lap. The umpire snapped, yelled at the boy and the boy ran away crying. This proves the old adage: The Son Never Sits on the Brutish Umpire. --Td Striker

..........Pretty soon she'll have to choose and it tears her up inside.........Bonnie Raitt …..Nick Of Time

^^^ Montana distinguishes itself as the sole state with river systems that flow into the Hudson Bay, Pacific Ocean, and the Gulf of Mexico. This unique geographical feature showcases the state's diverse and interconnected waterways.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Church sign: St Francis of Assisi Blessing of the Animals and Fish Fry. --Submitted by High Church Coyote

Weird Word of the Week: Recrudescence: (17^th Century) the return of something terrible after a time of reprieve. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/recrudescence

Dragon of the Week: Quilt

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Prevent tools from rusting. Give the tools a light coat of any flavor ChapStick. The wax keeps the metal dry, inhibiting rust. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/chapstick.html ~~Sometimes there are kinds of health or healing uses but I never include them. I don't want to recommend people do something that harms them in any way. No, there hasn't been one for ChapStick.

A few years ago the nuclear aircraft carrier Enterprise was returning to its base at the Oakland-Alameda Naval Base when the ship's captain, misreading the tides, managed to run the carrier aground on the mudflats of San Francisco bay. True story. This event went down in history as being one of the finest examples of grounding the warship you walk on.

...........Maybe they're seeing something we don't.........Bonnie Raitt …..Something To Talk About

^^^^ Jeannette Pickering Rankin was an American politician and women's rights advocate who became the first woman to hold federal office in the United States. She was elected to the US House of Representatives as a Republican from Montana in 1916.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm looking for a sneaker to wear while watching my friends run a marathon. --Ali Solomon

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Hal-Con 2024 (8-10, Halifax, CA Atlantic Canada's premiere sci-fi and gaming convention https://hal-con.com/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: AVS 70 International Symposium and Exhibition (3-8, Tampa, FL) emerging issues in materials, processing, and interfaces … Innovating Sustainability: Next Generation...) https://avs70.avs.org/

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Hudson Bay → Hounds, bay

Once there was this cattle rancher who, after 3 years, finally found a buyer for his oldest steer Caesar. This new owner happened to be the rancher's closest neighbor, who lived on the other side of the river valley. "Men" the rancher said to his cowhands, "it's time to say our good-byes to this bull, and take him across the river". So the men roped Caesar, and walked him down to the river. They were about to put him on the boat, but the rancher's nephew, who helped to raise Caesar, said, "Can we take him out for one last munch in his favorite meadow?", with a tear in his eye. The other hands said sure, so he led him just off the riverbank for a snack. Well, with the day as nice as it was, all of the hands took a quick nap. 4 hours later, the rancher saw that the bull was still on his property and ran down into the valley. He shouted and cursed at the men to wake them up. Once everyone was standing, he said the beast should have been across long ago, "We've come to ferry Caesar, not to graze him!"

..........I want a man to hold me, not some fool to ask me why.........Bonnie Raitt …..Love Me Like A Man

^^^^^ The Battle of the Little Bighorn, also known as Custer's Last Stand, took place in 1876 near present-day Crow Agency, Montana. It was a conflict between the Lakota, Cheyenne, and Arapaho tribes and the US 7th Cavalry Regiment led by General George Custer. The Native American forces, led by Sitting Bull and Crazy Horse, defeated Custer's forces in a decisive victory.

Conspiracy Theory of the Week: Trump has suggested that Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau is secretly the son of Fidel Castro. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_conspiracy_theories_promoted_by_Donald_Trump

Quote of the Week: It takes analytical skills worthy of a degree in civil engineering to understand when and where one is allowed to leave a car in Montreal. --Kathy Riechs Death du Jour

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Huxleyed into the Full Orwell. --Submitted by dg of oh

Today's Peace of History, November 8, 1892: Thirty thousand black and white, factory and dock workers staged a general strike in New Orleans, demanding union recognition, closed shops, and hour and wage gains. They were joined by non-industrial laborers, such as musicians, clothing workers, clerks, utility workers, streetcar drivers, and printers.

A tall, weather-worn cowboy walked into a saloon and ordered a beer. The regulars quietly observed the drifter through half-closed eyelids. No one spoke, but they all noticed that the stranger's hat was made of brown wrapping paper. Less obvious was the fact that his shirt and vest were also made of paper. As were his chaps, , and even his boots, including paper spurs. Truth be told, even the saddle, blanket and bridle on his horse were made entirely of paper. The sheriff walks in and of course he arrests him immediately -- for rustling.

..........We were waltzin' together to a dreamy melody.........Patti Page ….Changing Partners

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, 2024, pUnitive ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: I really only love God as much as I love the person I love the least. --Dorothy Day

Cost of War:

• As of 11/07/24 State Department Costs: $250,060,504,855
• As of 10/31/24 State Department Costs: $249,502,256,656
• As of 11/07/24 Homeland Security: $1,183,324,378,593
• As of 10/31/24 Homeland Security: $1,182,718,054,199
• As of 11/07/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,257,548,571,963
• As of 10/31/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,255,989,416,760
• As of 11/07/24 Military Costs: $3,114,490,525,8365
• As of 11/07/24 Veterans Care: $3,957,801,8756
• As of 10/31/24 Military Costs: $3,113,306,878,4,736
• As of 10/31/24 Veterans Care: $3,945,983,427,015
• As of 11/07/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,763,227,848,266
• As of 10/31/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,747,502,367,834

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country. --John F Kennedy Inaugural Address

Famous Last Words: There shall be no denial of the elective franchise at any election on account of sex. --Washington State Constitutional Amendment #5 passed in 1910.

..........I'm very versatile.........June Havoc aka Baby June …..Let Me Entertain You ~~Obviously this song is from Gypsy. I don't know what the real Baby June sang.

There is the story of a group of chess enthusiasts, good friends all, who had a long day of chess matches. Late in the evening these friends went to the lobby of the large hotel where the matches were held, to talk a bit and rest. While their chat began quietly it gathered steam and got quite animated. They were telling each other of their successes of the day. One said he had won so many matches, another told of how he had beaten better players than himself. After a while of this, the hotel manager came over and summarily threw them all out, saying, "I can't abide chess nuts boasting in an open foyer". --John Baker

May your Peace be never missing
And your Joy be to the world
prairie mama
christine

Last Laugh:

eTernal ePistle

Famous First Words: You told'st me thou didst hold him in thy hate. Not another political ad; it's the opening line of Othello spoken by Roderigo to Iago

Happy Plan Your Epitaph Day! Adams to Atoms -Joseph J Adams + I'd rather be reading this. --Esther Freer + Excuse My Dust --Dorothy Parker

..........'cause he rides the rodeo.........Judy Collins ….Someday Soon

It's not the voting that's democracy; it's the counting. --Tom Stoppard

It is crisp (44°F) Friday morning. The sky is blue without cloud or jet trail. There is no breeze to cause the limbs to dance or tear the leaves from their branches. The backyard squirrels are busy talking, or perhaps it's singing, with their little squeaks. Red and yellow tomatoes (in November) still cling to the vine waiting to be chosen for a salad or salsa. As the sun rises it reveals the many colors, the greens of garden plants and the reddish brown of the tree across the street, the yellows of the leaves on the ground. Even the red car in the driveway down the street blends into the fall motif. Puck, who went out briefly, is sleeping at my feet with a gentle snort of intaken breaths. Mary comes and goes into and out of our room silently. I am sipping creamy, sweetened half-caf and watching as a light eastern breeze arises and shakes the yellowed stem of what was once a sunflower. Kansas in autumn and I get to write to you. Great day,

Have a lively weekend, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Why is such a large part of early child education learning what sounds animals make. That's never going to come up. It's not even important if they ever meet those animals. I've never said “moo” to a cow and have it go “thank you for learning about my culture”. --Kyle --Submitted by FNOG

Here lies the shell, but the nut is gone –- Williams + The doctor will see you soon –Helen Tyler + There goes the neighborhood --Rodney Dangerfield

..........Who was once a bull-hooking son of a gun.........Moe Bandy ….Bandy the Rodeo Clown

Trivia Questions: Happy Prime Meridian Day!

• ^ What is the Prime Meridian anyway?
• ^^ How long is the Prime Meridian?
• ^^^ Which 3 continents does the Prime Meridian cross?
• ^^^^ How old is the Prime Meridian construct?
• ^^^^^ What's the difference between the Prime Meridian and the International Reference Meridian*

Big Hello: Alii – Palauan (Palau, Guam, & North Mariana Islands) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Has anyone else found it weird that when “Star Trek” boldly goes where no one has gone before, they always find someone there? --Submitted by bc of tx

Image of the Week: Jeff got a jump on the season. He has Christmas Lights on his third floor balcony to keep his pumpkin company.

Library Humor of the Week: I won't pay the fine; I hated that book. https://www.facebook.com/librarylaughs

Pardon me for not rising. --Johnny Yeast + At last a hole in one. --Joel Cheskin + The best is yet to come --Frank Sinatra

..........I'd like to say that I took the reins and rode away.........Reba McEntire & Cody Johnson …..Dear Rodeo

Moonbeam: Sometimes, the most profound of awakenings come wrapped in the quietest of moments. --Stephen Crane

Blasphemy of the Week: There is no biblical evidence that Jesus even knew how to parallel park. Letting him take the wheel seems a bit irresponsible. --Submitted by FNOG

Both Sides Now of the Week: Kamala Harris can run over thousands of Palestinians in a tank on 5^th Avenue in broad daylight and blue maga would still vote for her. --Submitted by MMS

Puzzle of the Week: From listener David Dickerson, of Tucson, Arizona. The city UTICA, NEW YORK, when spelled out, contains 12 letters, all of them different. Think of a well-known U.S. city, that when its name is spelled out, contains 13 letters, all of them different. Your answer doesn't have to match mine. NPR Sunday Puzzle 10/28/24

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Letting men decide about women's health care is like letting your dog make decisions about your car because he likes to ride in it sometimes. --Submitted by 98%

Shit Happens –Edith Barlow + If you can read this, you are standing on my boobs –Bolamo + In --Jack Lemmon

..........Live fast, die young.........Johnny Cash …..Bull Rider

^ The Prime Meridian is an imaginary line that runs through Greenwich, a borough of London. It passes through the North and South poles and is also known as the 0° meridian. The Prime Meridian splits the globe into eastern and western hemispheres.

Almanac: It is Friday, November 1, 2024. The moon is new today (8:47 am) and is in Scorpio. Today is All Saints' Day, Author's Day, Cinnamon Day, Dia de Los Muertos (Day of The Dead), Extra Mile Day, Forgiveness & Happiness Day, Give Up Your Shoulds Day, International Pet Groomer Appreciation Day, National Authors' Day, National Biologic Coordinators Day, National Brush Day, National Calzone Day, National Family Caregiver Day, National Family Literacy Day, National Go Cook For Your Pets Day, National Sports Fan Day, Plan Your Epitaph Day, Prime Meridian Day, and World Vegan Day.

It is also the Celtic holiday Samhain. Because it is the First Friday it is Fountain Pen Day, Love Your Lawyer Day, National (Football) Day, and National Medical Science Liaison Awareness & Appreciation Day. And because it is the first weekend it is National Farm Toys Day and Pumpkin Chunkin Days.

Among those born on this day were Benvenuto Cellini (1500), Benjamin Lee Guinness (1798), Stephen Crane (1871), Sholem Asch (1880), James J. Kilpatrick (1920), Gary Player (1935), Larry Flynt (1942), Marcia Wallace (1942), and Lyle Lovett (1960).

On November first Vesuvius buried Pompei (79), Othello was first staged (1611), the mission at San Juan Capistrano was founded (1776), John Adams was the first president to move into the White House (1800), the first US women's medical school opened (1848), the US Weather Bureau began operations (1870), the Rodeo Cowboys Association was founded (1936), Charles Cooper became the first black NBA player (Celtics, 1950), the first concert was presented at the Fillmore in San Francisco (1965), the Eisenhower dollar went into circulation (1971), and the European Union came into existence (1993).

Night Sky, 11/1: November fireballs? Every year from about late October through mid-November, a truly dazzling Taurid meteor just might take you by surprise in the night. If you get very lucky. Normally the broad, weak, South and North Taurid meteor showers sputter along sparsely. Under ideal conditions you might see 5 or 10 ordinary little meteors per hour during the poorly defined, weeks-long maximum when the two branches of the shower overlap. Both include debris shed by Comet 2P/Encke, but a recent analysis shows that a host of other objects — near-Earth asteroids, collisional fragments, and dormant cometary nuclei — might be creating several overlapping streams of particles. Consequently, both Taurid components have long-lasting "maxima" that aren’t easy to pin down. What makes the Taurids potentially exciting is that their small numbers are known for a high proportion of bright fireballs — occasionally, an extremely bright one that makes the news. The Taurids strike the atmosphere at a relatively slow 19 miles (30 km) per second. If you see an especially bright, slow meteor these nights, check whether its line of flight, if traced backward far enough across the sky, would intersect more or less the Pleiades side of Taurus. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Gettin' spooky

This Week: Saturday, November 2 – Bison Day & National Play Outside Day & World Chili Day

Night Sky, 11/2: Daylight-saving time, observed in most of North America, ends at 2 am Sunday morning. Clocks "fall back" one hour. Daylight time for North America runs from the second Sunday in March to the first Sunday in November; the rules last changed in 2007. Daylight time is not used in Hawaii, Saskatchewan, Puerto Rico, or in most of Arizona.

Sunday, November 3 – Cliché Day & Public Television Day & Sandwich Day & Zero Tasking Day

Monday, November 4 – National Candy Day & Use Your Common Sense Day

Tuesday, November 5 – Election Day & Firewood Day & World Tsunami Awareness Day

Wednesday, November 6 – International Stress Awareness Day & Marijuana Recreational Legalization Day

Night Sky, 11/6: Saturn, magnitude +0.8 in Aquarius, is well up in the southeast as the stars come out. Don't confuse it with Fomalhaut two fists to its lower right. Saturn is highest in the south by 9 pm daylight-saving time.

Thursday, November 7 – National Men Make Dinner Day & Notary Public Day & Stout Day

Finally found a place to park in Georgetown --Katherine Brown + Destined to be a woman with too many cats –Susan Blanchard + Don't try --Charles Bukowski

..........Wild horse rider with nothin' to lose...........Luke Kaufman …..Broncin'

^^ The Prime Meridian is 20,000 km (12,447 miles) long.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: In your guts, you know he's nuts.

Moonbeam: Baseball ought never be hurried. It is the only unhurried institution we have left, which is one reason, I think, we love it. --James J Kilpatrick

Fun Facts of the Week: Happy Fountain Pen Day! Every fountain pen is unique! After using your ink pen for a long time, the nib slowly personalizes itself to your handwriting, making the pen special for you. The tip wears out to exactly your style, making it sometimes challenging to lend your pen out to other pen pals! This might come as a surprise, but left-handed people more often use fountain pens than right-handed people around the world!

Video of the Week: Lyle Lovett: If I Had a Boat: https://americana-uk.com/video-lyle-lovett-if-i-had-a-boat

If American women would increase their voting turnout by 10% I think we would see an end to all of the budget cuts in programs benefiting women and children. --Coretta Scott King

I see dumb people --Micah Green + Oh well whatever –Lola Holt + I'm a writer, but then, nobody's perfect --Billy Wilder

..........And each night begins a new day..........Willie Nelson …..Mammas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys

^^^ The Prime Meridian runs through Europe, Africa, and Antarctica.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Whenever you take yourself too seriously, remember that you share 70% of your DNA with a banana. --Submitted by sb of ar

Samhain 2024: From The Busy Pagan – Everything you need to know about Samhain: https://thebusypagan.com/pagan-holidays/samhain/ Sacred Samhain! Blessed Be

Weird Word of the Week: Shufti or shufty – to look. From the Arabic, “have you seen?” http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa-shu1.html

Dragon of the Week: Coffee table

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Groom a mustache or eyebrows. A little ChapStick will keep the ends of a mustache waxed together and keep bushy eyebrow hairs in place. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/chapstick.html

He never killed a man that did not need killing –Robert Allison + I'd rather be in Acapulco --Edward Gann + I will not be right back after this message. --Merv Griffin

...........It's another great day to be looking that good.........Kenny Feidler …..Barrel Racer Land

^^^^ The Prime Meridian was established in 1884 at the International Meridian Conference in Washington, DC. It was the internationally recognized prime meridian until it was replaced by the International Reference Meridian*(IRM) in 1984.

*I'd never heard of it either and though I have read the definition (below) everyday this week, I'm still not sure I understand it

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Trump could shoot me on 5 Avenue and I would still find a way to vote for Harris. Submitted by bu of ks

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Creation Chicago 2024 (1-3, Rosemont, IL) the ultimate Supernatural fan event /https://www.choosechicago.com/event/creation-chicago-salute-to-supernatural-2/2024-11-03/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: International Conference on Science, Engineering, and Technology (1-2, NYC) share ideas with peers in person. https://www.allconferencealert.com/event/1183171

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Caspar, Wyoming

I knew this would happen –George W Jr + This ain't bad – once you get used to it --Murphy Dreher Jr + Damn it's dark down here –Fran Thatcher

..........And his wounds have almost healed.........Garth Brooks …..Rodeo

^^^^^ The prime meridian is a fixed line of longitude at 0°, while the IRM is a weighted average of the reference meridians of many ground stations. The IRM moves as the Earth's surface shifts.

Conspiracy Theory of the Week: In the past week, U.S. Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene claimed a voting machine had changed a voter’s ballot in her Georgia district during early voting, and Elon Musk, the billionaire owner of the social media platform X, has promoted various conspiracy theories about voting machines and voter fraud both online and at a rally for Trump in Pennsylvania. https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/election-officials-confront-tsunami-of-voting-conspiracy-theories

Quote of the Week: When the people are being beaten with a stick, they are not much happier if it is called “the People's Stick.” --Mikhail Bakunin

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I think I need to quit my job and focus on my laundry. --Submitted by INRITH

Today's Peace of History, November 1, 1848: The New England Female Medical College was founded, becoming the first institution in the US to train women in medicine and graduated the first black female physician, Dr Rebecca Lee Crumpler (1864)

Too bad … We had fun –Constance Bigsby + Stepped on the gas instead of the brake --Jonathan Blake + You've come home --Lucille Ball

..........what else can make a man hold on that tight..........Jenny Tolman …..Rodeo Must Be a Woman

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, November 1, 2024, eTernal ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Writing comes more easily if you have something to say. --Sholem Asch

Cost of War:

• As of 10/31/24 State Department Costs $249,502,256,656
• As of 10/24/24 State Department Costs: $248,970,969,494
• As of 10/31/24 Homeland Security: $1,182,718,054,199
• As of 10/24/24 Homeland Security: $1,182,140,910,690
• As of 10/31/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,255,989,416,760
• As of 10/24/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,254,505,483,247
• As of 10/31/24 Military Costs: $3,113,306,878,365
• As of 10/24/24 Military Costs: $3,112,180,158,539
• As of 10/31/24 Veterans Care: $3,945,983,427,0154
• As of 10/24/24 Veterans Care: $3,934,734,141,704
• As of 10/31/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,747,502,367,834
• As of 10/24/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,732,534,269,942

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Elections belong to the people. It's their decision. If they decide to turn their back on the fire and burn their behinds, then they will just have to sit on their blisters. --Abraham Lincoln

Famous Last Words: That's all folks --Mel Blanc's tombstone

..........just to bathe my wearisome soul.........The Byrds …..I Am a Pilgrim (from the album Sweetheart of the Rodeo) Happy 88^th Birthday to the Rodeo Cowboys Association

If you're reading this, you desperately need a hobby –Alan Willcox + I'm just resting my eyes –Gloria Russell + And away we go --Jackie Gleason

May Peace grace your days
And Joy fill your nights
prairie mama
christine

Last Laugh: Happy National Authors Day

sPooky ePistle

 Famous First Words: Once upon a midnight dreary... --Edgar Allen Poe The Raven

All Hallows Eve approaches and the veil between the layers thins... Let's put the fun back in funeral. I don't want this to become a grave affair. In fact, schedule my funeral for 3 in the afternoon; I've never been a mourning person.

..........At a dark, bewitchin' hour when the fun was loud and hearty.........Louis Armstrong …..Skeleton in the Closet

It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure to the world --John Steinbeck

It is a delightful Friday morning. The sky is clear blue, the temperature is 54°F with a light breeze the smells of last night's rain. Squirrels and birds and even the trees seem to be celebrating that rain. Windchimes outside the window twist and tintinnabulate in a strange early morning ritual. I sit at my computer while Puck sleeps on a pile of the clothes I wore yesterday (because Mary is sleeping on his pillow). My half-caf is warm and dark and it sits next to a bottle of iced water. And I get to write to you. This has all the making of a really fine day.

Hope you have a fun and safe Halloween, ePistliers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: People who become right wing because they get annoyed by leftists are weak willed, most leftists are annoyed by leftists every single day. --Submitted by LaughingInDisbelief

A pillow fight with Death has reaper cushions. Actually the Reaper's son is so cute. He wears the ragged hoodie robe and carries a giant johnny mop. But he's only powerful enough to give you a brush with Death.

..........You could hear hell singing that victory song..........Anne Wilson …..Devil

Trivia Questions: All Hallows Eve – Blessed Be

• ^ How many bones are in the human skeleton?
• ^^ What was the original purpose of bobbing for apples?
• ^^^ What was the original name of candy corn?
• ^^^^ Would you care to estimate the number of calories in the average trick-or-treat bag?
• ^^^^^ Who was the first first lady to decorate the white house for Halloween?

Big Hello: Halo – Oshiwambo (Namibia and Angola) https://omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

First Halloween Tip of the Week: Halloween is right around the corner...Don't Buy Nestle Brand Treats! Nestle steals water from First Nations. --Submitted by 98%

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: On November 5^th, it will be as if the whole world is waiting for the results of a biopsy. --Submitted by rhb of ks

Image of the Week: The first White House Halloween Decorations 1958 ~~This is on the test.

Halloween Library Jokes the Week: The library in Halloweentown has the world's largest collection of books by ghostwriters. Our local library celebrates Halloween with a monster book sale.

I can't decide whether to be buried where it's the mortician's job to make me look dead gorgeous or to be cremated where I'm bound to get a smokin' hot body, at least for a few minutes. But seriously, a burial site is the last thing I need.

..........Does the man become the monster or the monster become man..........Motionless in White …..Werewolf

Moonbeam: You don't play against opponents, you play against the game of basketball. --Bobby Knight

Blasphemy of the Week: If God didn't send Jesus into the world to condemn it, I doubt he sent you. --Submitted by MMS

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Mike Selinker, of Renton, Wash. Think of a drink whose name is a compound word. Delete the first letter of the first word and you'll get some athletes. Delete the first letter of the second one and you'll get where these athletes compete. What words are these?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Bumper Sticker: J.D. Vance puts his cast iron skillet in the dishwasher. --Al Asran

I hope we stay friends until we die and then I hope we're ghost friends together and we walk through walls together and scare the sh*t out of people. You know, it's only ghosts who actually profit from cryptocurrency.

..........Really I'm sad, oh, I'm sadder than sad..........Smokey Robinson and the Miracles …..Tears of a Clown

^ Most humans have 206 bones although the body has 270 at birth. They claim it's fusion

Almanac: It is Friday, October 25, 2024. The moon went into its last quarter yesterday (10/24) and is in Leo. It is National Mole Day, Chucky -- The Notorious Killer Doll Day, International Artists Day, International Bandanna Day, National Breadsticks Day, National Pasta Day, and Sourest Day.

Among those born on this day were Johann Strauss (1825), Georges Bizet (1838), John Heisman (1869), Pablo Picasso (1881), Richard Byrd (1888), Minnie Pearl (1912), Billy Barty (1924), Marion Ross (1928), Anthony Franciosa (1928), Bobby Knight (1940), Helen Reddy (1941), and Julia Roberts (1967).

On October twenty-fifth Battle of Agincourt was fought (1415), Cassini discovered Iapetus, a moon of Saturn (1671), Peace talks began in Panmunjom (1951), Uganda was admitted to the UN (110th member, 1962), Steinbeck received the Nobel Prize (1962), and the International Red Cross was ousted from South Africa (1986).

Night Sky, 10/25: Venus is in conjunction with orange Antares low in twilight. Venus is 100 times brighter than Antares; look for the tiny orange point 3° to Venus's lower left. Binoculars will help you spot it through the twilight and the thick air near the horizon. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Max is wearing a confident driver costume and Ollie is I'm Not Worried At All man.

Next Halloween Tip of the Week: What to do if there is a witch at your door: 1) Invited them in 2) Make tea 3) Plot against the puritans --Submitted by MMS

This Week: Saturday, October 26 – American Frog Day & Mule Day & Howl at the Moon Night

Sunday, October 27 – Black Cat Day & National Civics Day & Visit A Cemetery Day

Night Sky, 10/27: Mars rises at 11:29 pm and should be visible around 12:30 am. If you watch Mars for the rest of the year, you will see Mars and Jupiter moving apart. This is happening because Mars moves faster in its orbit. https://www.slsc.org/night-sky-update-october-19-27-2024/

Monday, October 28 – Champagne Day & National Chocolate Day & Childcare Superhero Day

Tuesday, October 29 – Internet Day & National Cat Day & Snowmobile Day & World Stroke Day

Wednesday, October 30 – Checklist Day & National Candy Corn Day & Mischief Night

Night Sky, 10/30 : Saturn is now past opposition. You can look for the planet rising in the southeast once it is dark. Saturn sets around 3:36 am

Thursday, October 31 – All Hallows Eve & Books For Treats Day & National Magic Day & Samhain & National UNICEF Day & National Doorbell Day & Beggar's Night

There are more dead people than living, and the numbers are increasing. The living are getting rarer. --Eugene Ionesco The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades, especially if your teammates are bad guessers. --Demetri Martin

..........Spins a web, any size, catches thieves just like flies.........Michael Bublé …..Spider-Man Theme

^^ Bobbing for apples was a kind of fortune-telling. By assigning each apple to a suitor, the retrieved apple was the future husband. https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2019/10/8644201/halloween-history-traditions-women

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: How many witches does it take to change a light bulb? ….......................... Into what?

Moonbeam: That's what life is all about; remembering someone and smiling. --Minnie Pearl

Fun Fact of the Week: The full moon brightens the skies once every 19 Halloweens. This year the new moon is on November 1^st, so the moon will be 28 days old on Halloween. By the way, it's in Libra on Halloween and Scorpio when it's new.

Video of the Week: Five Creepy Spiders (a subtraction video, 2:37) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpriiA7pw00

It takes courage to back truth unacceptable to our times. --John Steinbeck

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome. --Isaac Asimov On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily as lying down. --Woody Allen

..........Like a streak of light she arrives just in time.........Michael Bublé …..Spiderman Theme Song ~~In 2023 Spiderman was the #1 favorite costume for boys and the #4 favorite for girls.

^^^ Candy corn was marketed as Chicken Feed. It was marketed by Goelitz Candy Co which is now Jelly Belly Candy Co.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A recent Hogwarts study found that wearing a lab coat decreased the chances of being drowned or burned at the stake by 95%.

Game of the Week: End Of The World – place your bets: Earthquake 5% / Meteors 2% / Plague 8% / Human Stupidity 85% The South Dakota Department of Propaganda

Weird Word of the Week: Eldritch: Weird, ghostly, unnatural, frightful, hideous... Found in print since the 1500s. Scottish, related to the word elf https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/eldritch

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: The skulls of your enemies are much more environmentally friendly than plastic cups. Just Sayin'. https://ifunny.co/#google_vignette

When I die, I hope to go to heaven, whatever the hell that is. --Ayn Rand When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction. --Steven Wright

...........Don't you love farce..........Judy Collins …..Send in the Clowns

^^^^ The average bag of treats has 3,500 to 7,000 calories.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: They're taking our jobs and bringing drugs into our country. Well, that's convenient because I love drugs and I hate working. --Submitted by MMS

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Georgian Bay FanCon 2024 (26^th, Meaford, ON) Jack-o-Lantern Carving Contest... https://www.gbfancon.ca/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: SmallSat Education Conference (26-27. Kennedy Space Center, FL) Keynote Speaker, Astronaut Ken Reightler, retired. https://www.smallsateducation.org/

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Screwdriver ---> Crew + River

There is a strange little woman in Moscow who is quietly but relentlessly stealing the bones of Russian families and dumping them in a giant ravine north of town. People don't take her seriously because they don't understand tsar chasm. You may think that corpses are funny, but they are dead serious.

..........He's the hairy handed gent who ran amok in Kent.........Warren Zevon …..Werewolves of London

^^^^^ Mamie Eisenhower 1958 ~~See Image of the Week above

Grim Fact of the Week: If you put Jokes How I want to die... in Google, they pop right up with a Suicide Hotline. Of course, suicide wasn't what I had in mind at all. What I had in mind was “I want to live to be 90 and then be shot by a jealous wife”. Sigh!

Quote of the Week: The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls. --Pablo Picasso

Last Halloween Tip of the Week: Union Made Halloween Treats: American Licorice, Annabelle Candy Company. Bachman Company, See’s Candies, Brown & Haley, Ghirardelli Chocolate, Boyer Brothers, Hershey Company, Hershey Kisses, Hershey Milk Chocolate Bar, Hershey Milk Chocolate & Almonds Bar, Hershey Special Dark Bars, Hershey Nuggets, Rolo, Kit Kat Bars, Carmello Bar, Jolly Ranchers, Jelly Belly Candy Company, Just Born In, Mike & Ike, Peanut Chews, Hot Tamales, Ferrero Group (Nestle, Farley & Sathers), Laffy Taffy, Baby Ruth, Butterfingers, Russell Stover Candies, Tootsie Roll Industries, and Oak Leaf Confections.

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Her 8^th day of placental liberation... ~~I love it

Today's Peace of History, October 25, 1955: Sadako Sasaki, following the Japanese custom of folding paper cranes – symbols of good fortune and longevity – persisted daily in folding cranes, hoping to create senbazuru (1000 paper cranes strung together) when a person's dream is believed to come true, died.

Might I just point out that Mercutio got stabbed in the gut and instead of seeking medical help, stood up and made a pun about it, then died. Exactly how I would go out. --Jeffrey the Space Walrus

..........The whispers and the screams.........Shinedown …..Devil

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, October 25, 2024, sPooky ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: I've always felt that, you know, the Almighty had a lot of things to do other than help my basketball team. --Bobby Knight

Cost of War:

• As of 10/24/24 State Department Costs: $248,970,969,494
• As of 10/17/24 State Department Costs: $248,403,542,956
• As of 10/24/24 Homeland Security: $1,182,140,910,690
• As of 10/17/24 Homeland Security: $1,181,524,474,579
• As of 10/24/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,254,505,483,247
• As of 10/17/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,222,205,430,763
• As of 10/24/24 Military Costs: $3,112,180,158,539
• As of 10/17/24 Military Costs: $3,110,976,705,497
• As of 10/24/24 Veterans Care: $3,934,734,141,704
• As of 10/17/24 Veterans Care: $3,922,719,621,761
• As of 10/24/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,732,534,269,942
• As of 10/17/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,716,546,436,575

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good. --John Steinbeck

Famous Last Words: Bless you, thank you. --Bill Graham who died in a helicopter crash 10/25/91 ~~These are his last public words.

..........Rattle them bones at midnight.........Alice Cooper …..Skeletons in My Closet

I saw the little tombstone my children are planning to get for me. I was, actually, hoping for a pyramid. That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, was against her better judgement. --Dorothy Parker

May Peace instruct your body
And Joy train your heart
prairie mama
christine

Last Laugh: