pUnitive ePistle

 Famous First Words: When Caroline Meeber boarded the afternoon train... Theodore Dreiser Sister Carrie

It's Aid And Abet Punsters Day!! It seems there were two frogs sitting on a lily pad, when all of a sudden, a fly came along. One frog put out his tongue, ate the fly, and started laughing hysterically. Soon the other frog joined in the laughter. Later in the day, the other frog ate a fly and the two frogs burst out in laughter. As time went on, the frogs enjoyed the flies so much that the sight of a fly would cause them to double up with pleasure (if it's possible for frogs to double up!). But of course, the most pleasure came when the fly was actually eaten. A third frog hopped up to the first two and asked what was so funny. The first frog answered "Time." "Huh?" asked the third frog. The second frog explained: "Time's fun when you're having flies." --Grieg Olsen

..........It's more trouble than it's worth..........Ricky Lee Jones …..Livin It Up

Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate. --John F Kennedy Inaugural Address

It is a cool (47°F) Friday morning. The sky is a dirty white with a few patches of actual gray. Old Sol has not broken the thick cloud sleet anywhere. Breezes are very light and move only the tips of plants; wind chimes jiggle without chiming and crispy hydrangeas sway but do not drop their petals. There is still substantial green but browns and yellows are gaining ground and tree limbs. Puck is asleep with his face between two pillows at the head of the bed. Perhaps it is his way of celebrating Dunce Day. I am sipping half-caf and munching on cream cheese and crackers. NPR is quietly playing in another room; a woman is talking about NCU and KU playing basketball this evening. It is a peaceful, easy morning and I get to write to you. What a beautiful morning, indeed.

Hope this weekend all you encounter is punny, ePistlers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It was her habit to build laughter out of inadequate materials. --John Steinbeck The Grapes of Wrath

A king carried environmentalism too far when he prohibited hunting of any kind. Soon the realm was overrun with lions and tigers and bears. "Oh My!" shouted the people. They revolted and threw the king out of the country. It was the first time the reign was called because of the game. --Grieg Olsen

..........She may be a highbrow; I've seen her change it three times a day.........Bonnie Raitt & Sippy Wallace …..Women Be Wise

Trivia Questions: Happy 135^th Birthday to Montana!

• ^ What is the capital of Montana?
• ^^ What is the origin of the name Montana?
• ^^^ To which large bodies of water do Montana's many rivers run?
• ^^^^ For what is Montanan Jeanette Rankin known?
• ^^^^^ What three tribes united to defeat Custer at Little Bighorn?

Big Hello: Dona dia – Papiamento (Aruba & Netherlands Antilles) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The people who ruined the world have ties and business suits not tattoos and bikes. --Submitted by bc of tx

Image of the Week: Jane Live and Christine Smith at the Lawrence Rally for Women's Rights

Library Humor of the Week: Seriously, hear me out: A Scholastic Book Fair for Adults at a Bar. https://www.facebook.com/librarylaughs/

While hiking in the woods, Nate and Sam found this huge rock which had an old iron lever attached to it. Etched into the rock was the following inscription: "If this lever is pulled, the world will come to an end!" Nate wanted to pull the lever and see what would happen, but Sam, being a paranoid pessimist, greatly feared this! He said to Nate that if he tried to pull the lever, he'd shoot him! In a daring attempt, Nate lunged for the lever, and sure enough, Sam shot him! What is the moral of this story? Better Nate than lever! --Jim Speirs

..........It's all for best, so you say.........Bonnie Raitt …..Too Soon To Tell

Moonbeam: We have all known the long loneliness and we have learned that the only solution is love and that love comes with community. --Dorothy Day

Blasphemy of the Week: It's too hard to sit at tables that Jesus would have flipped. --Jen Boettger Boring

Puzzle of the Week: Name a place somewhere on the globe — in two words. Rearrange the letters of the first word to name some animals. The second word in the place name is something those animals sometimes do. What is it? --NPR Sunday Puzzle 11/3/24

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When the moon hits your eye like it's 5:45, that November --Submitted by RHOZ

..........My old man is another child who's grown old.........Bonnie Raitt & John Prine …..Angel From Montgomery

^ Helena is the capital city of the US state of Montana and the seat of Lewis and Clark County. Helena was founded as a gold camp during the Montana gold rush, and established on October 30, 1864.

Almanac: It is Friday, November 8, 2024. The moon goes into the first quarter tomorrow (11/9) and is in Aquarius. It is Intersex Day of Remembrance, National Parents as Teachers Day, Abet and Aid Punsters Day, Cook Something Bold and Pungent Day, Dunce Day, International Day of Radiology, National S.T.E.M./S.T.E.A.M. Day, Shakespeare Authorship Mystery Day, World Town Planning Day, and X-Ray Day. In Montana it is Admission Day (1889).

Among those born on this day were Edmund Halley (1656), Dorothy Day (1897), Margaret Mitchell (1900), June Havoc (1916), Esther Rolle (1922), Patti Page (1927), Morley Safer (1931), Bonnie Raitt (1949), and Rickie Lee Jones (1954).

On November eighth Bourbon Whiskey was first distilled from corn (1789), the Louvre opened (1793), Montana was admitted to the union (41st, 1889), Cleveland was elected president (1892), Sister Carrie was published (1900), women voted for the first time in Washington state (1910), FDR was elected president for the first time (1932), the first black female legislator was elected (PA, 1938), JFK was elected (1960), and Days of Our Lives premiered (1965).

Night Sky, 1/8: Mercury can be seen low over the southwestern horizon from about 15 minutes after sunset throughout November. https://www.highpointscientific.com/astronomy-hub/post/night-sky-news/whats-in-the-sky-this-month-november-2024

Fraternal Picture of the Week: The Nearly Blind Ghost in cowboy boots and Redsleeves the Unready

This Week: Saturday, November 9 – Carl Sagan Day & National Child Safety Council Day & World Freedom Day

Sunday, November 10 – Sesame Street Day & World Science Day for Peace and Development & Area Code Day

Night Sky, 11/10: Saturn reached opposition in September but remains well-placed for observation throughout the evening, You'll find it in Aquarius.

Monday, November 11 – Armistice Day & Forget-Me-Not Day & Origami Day & World Orphans Day

Tuesday, November 12 – Fancy Rat and Mouse Day & World Pneumonia Day

Night Sky, 11/12: Famously slow and long-lasting, Taurid meteors move across the sky at about 65,000 miles per hour – a fraction of the whizzing 148,000 mph meteors of the Orionid shower. https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2024/11/04/southern-taurid-meteor-shower-2024-peak-activity/76045866007/

Wednesday, November 13 – International Pathology Day & Sandwich Day & World Kindness Day

Thursday, November 14 – International Girls Day & Loosen Up, Lighten Up Day & World Diabetes Day

Mother Lion and Father Lion had gone off hunting, and had told their two children not to wander away. However, a couple of small gnus wandered by, and the baby lions could not resist the temptation to try out their own hunting skills. They ran out, chased after the gnus, killed them, and started eating them. Just as the baby lions were reaching the end of their meal, the parents appeared in the distance. One of the baby lions turned to the other, and said: "That is the end of the gnus. Here again are the head lions."

..........Another day to keep the wheel turnin'.........Bonnie Raitt …..Luck Of The Draw

^^ The origin of Montana's name can be traced back to the Spanish word "montaña," which translates to "mountainous."

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If a plant is sad, do other plants photosympathise with it ?

Moonbeam: The greatest challenge of the day is: how to bring about a revolution of the heart, a revolution which has to start with each one of us. --Dorothy Day

Fun Facts of the Week: Making puns “crosses all major languages and cultures in history,” --John Pollack, an international punning champion and the author of a historical look at the phenomenon, The Pun Also Rises. In San Juan Chamula, Mexico, a tradition of verbal duels called k’ehel k’op, which often revolves around puns, dates back to Mayan times. Traditional Palestinian weddings have featured pun-heavy oral poetry duels for centuries.

Video of the Week: 3 minute clip from the very first episode Days Of Our Lives

Civility is not a sign of weakness. John F Kennedy Inaugural Address

The recent lock-out of the Major League umpires was making them all grumpy. After a tough day of walking the picket lines, one umpire returned home to find that his young boy wanted to play with him. As the tired ump was sitting in his favorite easy chair, the lad kept trying to crawl onto his lap. The umpire snapped, yelled at the boy and the boy ran away crying. This proves the old adage: The Son Never Sits on the Brutish Umpire. --Td Striker

..........Pretty soon she'll have to choose and it tears her up inside.........Bonnie Raitt …..Nick Of Time

^^^ Montana distinguishes itself as the sole state with river systems that flow into the Hudson Bay, Pacific Ocean, and the Gulf of Mexico. This unique geographical feature showcases the state's diverse and interconnected waterways.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Church sign: St Francis of Assisi Blessing of the Animals and Fish Fry. --Submitted by High Church Coyote

Weird Word of the Week: Recrudescence: (17^th Century) the return of something terrible after a time of reprieve. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/recrudescence

Dragon of the Week: Quilt

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Prevent tools from rusting. Give the tools a light coat of any flavor ChapStick. The wax keeps the metal dry, inhibiting rust. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/chapstick.html ~~Sometimes there are kinds of health or healing uses but I never include them. I don't want to recommend people do something that harms them in any way. No, there hasn't been one for ChapStick.

A few years ago the nuclear aircraft carrier Enterprise was returning to its base at the Oakland-Alameda Naval Base when the ship's captain, misreading the tides, managed to run the carrier aground on the mudflats of San Francisco bay. True story. This event went down in history as being one of the finest examples of grounding the warship you walk on.

...........Maybe they're seeing something we don't.........Bonnie Raitt …..Something To Talk About

^^^^ Jeannette Pickering Rankin was an American politician and women's rights advocate who became the first woman to hold federal office in the United States. She was elected to the US House of Representatives as a Republican from Montana in 1916.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm looking for a sneaker to wear while watching my friends run a marathon. --Ali Solomon

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Hal-Con 2024 (8-10, Halifax, CA Atlantic Canada's premiere sci-fi and gaming convention https://hal-con.com/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: AVS 70 International Symposium and Exhibition (3-8, Tampa, FL) emerging issues in materials, processing, and interfaces … Innovating Sustainability: Next Generation...) https://avs70.avs.org/

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Hudson Bay → Hounds, bay

Once there was this cattle rancher who, after 3 years, finally found a buyer for his oldest steer Caesar. This new owner happened to be the rancher's closest neighbor, who lived on the other side of the river valley. "Men" the rancher said to his cowhands, "it's time to say our good-byes to this bull, and take him across the river". So the men roped Caesar, and walked him down to the river. They were about to put him on the boat, but the rancher's nephew, who helped to raise Caesar, said, "Can we take him out for one last munch in his favorite meadow?", with a tear in his eye. The other hands said sure, so he led him just off the riverbank for a snack. Well, with the day as nice as it was, all of the hands took a quick nap. 4 hours later, the rancher saw that the bull was still on his property and ran down into the valley. He shouted and cursed at the men to wake them up. Once everyone was standing, he said the beast should have been across long ago, "We've come to ferry Caesar, not to graze him!"

..........I want a man to hold me, not some fool to ask me why.........Bonnie Raitt …..Love Me Like A Man

^^^^^ The Battle of the Little Bighorn, also known as Custer's Last Stand, took place in 1876 near present-day Crow Agency, Montana. It was a conflict between the Lakota, Cheyenne, and Arapaho tribes and the US 7th Cavalry Regiment led by General George Custer. The Native American forces, led by Sitting Bull and Crazy Horse, defeated Custer's forces in a decisive victory.

Conspiracy Theory of the Week: Trump has suggested that Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau is secretly the son of Fidel Castro. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_conspiracy_theories_promoted_by_Donald_Trump

Quote of the Week: It takes analytical skills worthy of a degree in civil engineering to understand when and where one is allowed to leave a car in Montreal. --Kathy Riechs Death du Jour

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Huxleyed into the Full Orwell. --Submitted by dg of oh

Today's Peace of History, November 8, 1892: Thirty thousand black and white, factory and dock workers staged a general strike in New Orleans, demanding union recognition, closed shops, and hour and wage gains. They were joined by non-industrial laborers, such as musicians, clothing workers, clerks, utility workers, streetcar drivers, and printers.

A tall, weather-worn cowboy walked into a saloon and ordered a beer. The regulars quietly observed the drifter through half-closed eyelids. No one spoke, but they all noticed that the stranger's hat was made of brown wrapping paper. Less obvious was the fact that his shirt and vest were also made of paper. As were his chaps, , and even his boots, including paper spurs. Truth be told, even the saddle, blanket and bridle on his horse were made entirely of paper. The sheriff walks in and of course he arrests him immediately -- for rustling.

..........We were waltzin' together to a dreamy melody.........Patti Page ….Changing Partners

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, 2024, pUnitive ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: I really only love God as much as I love the person I love the least. --Dorothy Day

Cost of War:

• As of 11/07/24 State Department Costs: $250,060,504,855
• As of 10/31/24 State Department Costs: $249,502,256,656
• As of 11/07/24 Homeland Security: $1,183,324,378,593
• As of 10/31/24 Homeland Security: $1,182,718,054,199
• As of 11/07/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,257,548,571,963
• As of 10/31/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,255,989,416,760
• As of 11/07/24 Military Costs: $3,114,490,525,8365
• As of 11/07/24 Veterans Care: $3,957,801,8756
• As of 10/31/24 Military Costs: $3,113,306,878,4,736
• As of 10/31/24 Veterans Care: $3,945,983,427,015
• As of 11/07/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,763,227,848,266
• As of 10/31/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,747,502,367,834

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country. --John F Kennedy Inaugural Address

Famous Last Words: There shall be no denial of the elective franchise at any election on account of sex. --Washington State Constitutional Amendment #5 passed in 1910.

..........I'm very versatile.........June Havoc aka Baby June …..Let Me Entertain You ~~Obviously this song is from Gypsy. I don't know what the real Baby June sang.

There is the story of a group of chess enthusiasts, good friends all, who had a long day of chess matches. Late in the evening these friends went to the lobby of the large hotel where the matches were held, to talk a bit and rest. While their chat began quietly it gathered steam and got quite animated. They were telling each other of their successes of the day. One said he had won so many matches, another told of how he had beaten better players than himself. After a while of this, the hotel manager came over and summarily threw them all out, saying, "I can't abide chess nuts boasting in an open foyer". --John Baker

May your Peace be never missing
And your Joy be to the world
prairie mama
christine

Last Laugh: