Pigskin ePistle

 Famous First Words: Whereas the people of California... An Act for the Admission of the State of California into the Union.

Oh, Goody, it's college football season again. The University of Kansas football team is introducing the Rosary Bowl where every play is a Hail Mary.

..........Sittin' in the morning sun..........Otis Redding …..Sittin' On The Dock Of The Bay

Let us forgive each other – only then will we live in peace. --Leo Tolstoy

It is a gorgeous Friday morning. There is not even a hint of a cloud in the azure sky. A temperature of 62°F is warm enough to need no jacket but cool enough to suggest fall may arrive soon. The world is lush with late summer greenery and fruit and flowers and squirrels manically gathering anything they can and storing it here and there. Birds and chirping a rather merry song counterpointed by the sound of car motors and human voices. No breeze moves the trees – not even the willows that are still and stately in the morning sunshine. Puck saunters through the morning walk, barking at phantoms and at the ladies gathering for their daily house cleaning assignments. Puck likes to stop and explain to them how the work works; but they know already and ignore him. We wait as a car passes and then cross the street back to home. I spend a moment enjoying the smell of brewing coffee. Puck pulls a long drink and scoots under the bed for an early morning nap and I fix a cup of decaf with sweetener and cream. Ahhh. So now I get to sit down and write to you. What a morning!

Hope your weekend goes the whole nine yards, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Coffee is just goth water. --Friedrich Nietzsche --Submitted by Philosophy Matters

The Jayhawk star lineman lost his scholarship in the very first game of the season. He pulled a groin – not his own.

..........You were only waiting for this moment to arise..........Beatles & Billy Preston …..Black Bird

Trivia Questions: Tomorrow is Banana Day !

• ^ To what family of fruit does the banana belong?
• ^^ When did bananas come to the new world?
• ^^^ What cartoon character taught Americans how to store, prepare and eat bananas?
• ^^^^ Do you have any idea what banana related activity is outlawed in Chinese live streams?
• ^^^^^ Would you care to guess what percentage of DNA humans share with bananas?

Big Hello: Guten Tag – German https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you are cremated after you die you can be put into an hourglass and you can continue to participate in family game night. --Submitted by ss of kc

Image of the Week:

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 89% of librarian's current bookmarks are receipts from the local liquor store. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

How many Jayhawks does it take to change a light bulb? One, but he gets 3 credit hours for it.

..........I should be sleeping like a dog..........Beatles & Billy Preston …..A Hard Day's Night

Moonbeam: Wherever I have gone in this country, I have found Americans. --Alf Landon

Meditation of the Week: What is the best moral system?

Puzzle of the Week: This puzzle comes from listener Paula Egan Wright. Name a well-known island. Move the first letter six spaces later in the alphabet. Read the result backward. You'll get where this island is located. What island is it? NPR Puzzle Sunday 9/4/22

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Starting this week I let a professional football team determine my mood for the next four month. --Submitted by RHOZ

Kansas Football is a combination of 2 great American pastimes. 1) Coercive land grabbing 2) exploiting black labor

..........Is anybody in there..........Roger Walters & Pink Floyd …..Comfortably Numb

^ Bananas develop from a flower with a single ovary and have a soft skin, fleshy middle and small seeds. As such, they meet all botanical requirements of a berry and can be considered both a fruit and berry.

Almanac: It is Friday, September 9, 2022. The moon will be full (Corn) tomorrow (9/10) and is in Pisces. It is International Buy a Priest a Beer Day, Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders Day, Opposite Day, Wonderful Weirdos Day, Banana Day, and Stand Up to Cancer Day. In Bulgaria and Luxembourg it is Liberation Day and in Scotland it is Fisherman's Walk Day. In California it is Admission Day (1850)

Among those born on this day were Cardinal A Jean de Plessicide de Richelieu (1585), William Bligh (1754), Leo Tolstoy (1828), Harishchandra (1850), Mary Austin (1868), Alf Landon (1887), James Hilton (1900), Jimmy the Greek (1919), Cliff Robertson (1925), Chaim Topol (1935), Otis Redding (1941), Roger Waters (Pink Floyd, 1943), Billy Preston (5th Beatle, 1946), Michael Keaton (1951), Angela Cartwright (1952), and Dave Stewart (Eurythmics, 1952).

On September ninth the Continental Congress renamed the United Colonies, United States (1776), California became the 31st state, (1850), the territories of New Mexico and Utah were created (1850), Luxembourg gained its independence (1867), Almalthea, the 4th moon of Jupiter, was discovered (1892), the American Bowling Congress formed (1895), Orville Wright made the first one hour flight (VA, 1908), the Association for Study of Negro Life & History organized (Chicago, 1913), the Boston Police went on strike (1919), RCA created NBC (1926), a laugh track was first used on television (1950), Elvis appeared on Ed Sullivan (1956), John Lennon met Yoko Ono (1966), and Nolan Ryan struck out his 4,500th batter (1987).

Night Sky, 9/9: Full Moon tonight (exactly full at 5:59 am Saturday morning EDT). The Moon rises in the east-southeast just after sunset. As the stars come out, you can see that the Moon is between bright Jupiter a couple of fists to its lower left, dimmer Saturn farther to the Moon's upper right (out of the frame below), and Fomalhaut, twinkling down to the Moon's lower right. The Moon forms a roughly equilateral triangle with those last two. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: A cart full of brothers

This Week: Saturday, September 10 - National Hollerin' Day & Swap Ideas Day & Suicide Prevention Day & Banana Day

Sunday, September 11 – Libraries Remember Day & National Pet Memorial Day

Night Sky, 9/11: Vega now passes the zenith in late twilight about an hour after sunset, for those of us living in the world's mid-northern latitudes. Compared to our Sun, Vega is 2.5 times as large, about 1.7 times hotter, and 40 times brighter. But at a distance of 25 light-years it's 1.6 million times farther away.

Monday, September 12 – National Boss/Employee Exchange Day & National Police Woman's Day

Tuesday, September 13 – Kids Take Over The Kitchen Day & Scooby-Doo Day & Uncle Sam Day

Wednesday, September 14 – National Sober Day & National Kreme Filled Doughnut Day

Night Sky, 9/14: Venus, magnitude –3.9, rises about a half hour after dawn gets under way. As dawn brightens, look for it very low in the east.

Thursday, September 15 – Felt Hat Day & Greenpeace Day & International Day of Democracy

What does the Oklahoma Sooner fan do when OK wins the national championship? Turns of the Xbox.

..........Jojo left his home in Tucson, Arizona for some California grass..........Beatles & Billy Preston …..Get Back

^^ Portuguese sailors brought bananas from West Africa and introduced them to Americans in the 16^th century.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Moonbeam: “People make mistakes in life through believing too much, but they have a damned dull time if they believe too little.” --James Hilton

Video of the Week: Chiquita Bananas infomercial featuring Carmen Miranda. (1:24) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFDOI24RRAE

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: After a 27 year career at the top of literally her game she thought that Father Time had caught up with her but it turns out Father Time is just another man who says he can beat Serena at tennis...She's a retired person who likes tennis, it's obvious she's going to play Pickleball --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 9/3/22

The two most powerful warriors are patience and time. --Leo Tolstoy

I'm not sure about the football coach, rumor is he went to the bank to get his quarterback.

..........Will it fly high like the birds up in the sky..........Beatles & Billy Preston …..Will It Go Round In Circles

^^^ It was Chiquita Banana who sang “never, never put bananas in the refrigerator”.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Can the witches please gather in woods tonight and make fall happen already. I'm tired of being sad & sweaty, I want to be sad and cozy.

Weird Word of the Week: Florilegium – anthology (Latin flor – flower and legere – to gather or collect) http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-flo1.htm

Dragon of the Week: From the Temple of Quetzalcoatl

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Soothe a burn. Make a paste from equal parts Aunt Jemima Original Syrup and Gold Medal Flour. Apply the mixture to the burn and cover with wet gauze for 20 minutes to alleviate the burning sensation. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/auntjemima.html

Football players at Kansas wear armor when they play knight games.

...........Thoughts meander like a restless wind..........Beatles & Billy Preston …..Across The Universe

^^^^ In China, seductively eating a banana during a live stream is illegal.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I can't even imagine the self control required to work at a bubble wrap factory. --Submitted by RHOZ

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Rose City Comic Con 2022 (9-11, Portland, OR) ...Premier Pop Culture Convention https://rosecitycomiccon.com/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: I couldn't find any science conferences but here's a Mystery Convention -- Bouchercon 2022 (8-11, Minneapolis, MN) World Mystery Convention https://www.bouchercon2022.com/

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Malta - Atlas

There was a punter from Baylor who went blind. He became a referee for the Big 10.

..........Hold me, love me, hold me. Love me..........Beatles & Billy Preston …..Eight Days A Week

^^^^^ Humans share about 50% of our DNA with bananas.

My Own Writing of the Week: How could I change the water of bad sex-loving into righteous sex-loving wine? I began with the phenomena of physical intimacy and orgasm and worked outward through layers of physical sensations then emotions and their connections to other people through lust and love and romance. I did it mostly to see what I could find.

The closest feeling I'd ever had to oneness with something bigger than myself was before, during and after sexual climax. I had absolutely no problem naming that feeling (those feelings) righteous. It is so easy to pay attention; it is so easy to reach bliss (no-mind, samadhi) in that state. And the acts themselves, the touching and the kisses, the tiny thrills and shivers, the openness and intimacy demand some deep part of you to respond, to acknowledge, to love. The more attention you give to a small detail, the more pleasure it renders. Here's a finger, taste it, kiss it, love it. It becomes a little meditation within a bigger bliss. Every touch adds up; every kiss raises the energy level.

When I compared what people said about meditation to this experience I saw the resemblance immediately. Mindfully making one's way toward mindlessness. I concluded that I would make sex my method of praise and prayer. I could make sex (my groin, root chakra, Kundalini, Venus, mojo) my central connection to divinity. Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might. Whatever the goddess of love sends you, love it with all your body and soul. --Always Surrender: Memories, observations, micro-stories, and lies from my life as an insurgent in the sexual revolution

Quote of the Week: So you just want to let him off scot-free for insurrection because he's no longer in power? That's like acquitting Jeffrey Dahmer because he's full. --Stephen Colbert

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I wouldn't mind having a split personality if the other one did the housework. --Submitted by bc of tx

Today's Peace of History, September 9, 1997: Sinn Fein, the Irish Republican Army's allied political party, formally renounced violence by accepting the principles put forward by former US Senator George Mitchell who was mediating the talks between the Irish Republicans and the British Unionists in Northern Ireland's future.

What do you call a person who walks back and forth screaming one minutes, then sitting and weeping uncontrollably the next? The Kansas football coach.

..........And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me..........Beatles & Billy Preston …..Let It Be

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle 9/9 22, Pigskin ePistle Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith Lawrence, KS

Moonbeam: Nothing the desert produces expresses it better than the unhappy growth of the tree yuccas. --Mary Hunter Austin

Cost of War:

• As of 9/08/22 State Department War Costs since 2001: $187,225,863,599.
• As of 9/01/22 State Department War Costs since 2001: $186,669,932,135.
• As of 9/08/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,082,044,753,341.
• As of 9/01/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,080,492,045,961.
• As of 9/08/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,115,072,001,112.
• As of 9/01/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,114,469,158,154.
• As of 9/08/22 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,627,439,963,764.
• As of 9/01/22 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,615,669,518,426.
• As of 9/08/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,981,237,986,420.
• As of 9/01/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,980,059,015,720.
• As of 9/08/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7.993,024,553,762.
• As of 9/01/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7.977,362,301,406.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. --Leo Tolstoy

Famous Last Words: Peter. Peter --Spiderman the movie Uncle Ben's (played y Cliff Robertson) last words

..........Keep your head up movin' on..........Eurythmics …..Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)

The Kansas Heisman Trophy candidate falsified his rushing stats. The yards were stacked in his favor.

May Peace Guide Your Arm

And Joy Catch Whatever You Throw

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: Happy Wonderful Weirdos Day from S Clay Wilson 

ePistolary ePistle

 Famous First Words: The satellite whirled around the globe; a tiny silver bubble lost in the sky’s infinitude. --Allen Drury The Throne of Saturn

It is World Letter Writing Day! What 8 letter word has only one letter in it? Envelope. / After Kaa the Snake gained fame in The Jungle Book, he received lots of fang mail.

..........I got no car, got no mule, I got no misery.........Porgy …..I Got Plenty O' Nuttin'

I am weary of them that hate peace. --Jemima Wilkinson

It is a lovely Friday morning. 70°F is a nearly perfect temperature; the skies are a soft blue with small wispy clouds floating here and there, not seeming to be gathering into actual clouds. Puck and I encountered another small dog being walked and he was so angry at having to share the sidewalk that we hurried home. The world never got brown this summer, lawns are healthy, flowers still waft their scent around, and it is beautiful to walk through it. But it is an ordinary day for running errands, bank, grocery, gas station... Puck is now asleep under the bed and I am sitting at my computer, sipping decaf, and writing to you. See, lovely.

Hope your weekend has both rhyme and reason, but only if you want it to, ePistliers.

FYI of the Week: an epistle is a letter. The ancient Greek word for letter is epistéllō through Old French to Middle English (where it gained biblical status) to modern English. So, it is my intellectual snobbery not my holier than thou attitude that accounts for the name.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic. Thank you. --Submitted by INRITH

Casper was a prolific letter writer who gave a lot of business to the Ghost Office/ Ghosts tend to start letter with Tomb it may concern

..........Woman may born you, love you, and mourn you.........Jake …..A Woman Is A Sometime Thing

Trivia Questions: Congratulations to Pheidippides who ran the first marathon, I guess.

• ^ Why did Pheidippides run over 25 miles anyway?
• ^^ Would you care to guess how many marathons were run in 2016 in the US & Canada?
• ^^^ What is the age span of marathon runners?
• ^^^^ What marathon boasts the largest number of runners?
• ^^^^^ Do you know who ran a marathon in space?

Big Hello: Bonjou – Gallo (Brittany) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: 2022 The year mowing the grass cost less than smoking it.

Image of the Week: We love you, Serena

~~I attempted to put the new forever Pete Seeger stamp but the picture wouldn't upload. ??

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: Google can give you 1,000,000 answers but a librarian can give you the directions to the restroom. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Communists write all their letters in lower case because they hate capitalism. / If you rearrange the letters of Postman...he gets very angry.

..........We'll go a-struttin' an' there'll be nuttin' too good for you.........Sportin' Life …..Dere's a Boat Dat's Leavin' Soon for New York

Moonbeam: The voices of the people are the voices of God. --Queen Liliuokalani.

Meditation of the Week: Who created God?

Puzzle of the Week: This challenge comes from listener Rawson Sheinberg, of Northville, MI. Think of an eight-letter noun composed phonetically of two consecutive names traditionally given to girls. Remove the sixth letter and rearrange the result. You'll get an event where you might hear the thing named by the original noun. What words are these? NPR Sunday Puzzle 8/28/22

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Controversial thesis: If the highest paid person in your university of college is the basketball coach or the football coach, then it is not a university, it is a sporting franchise with a side hustle in tertiary education. --Submitted by bu of ks

Month of the Week: September is Shameless Promotion Month. I will be reading from my February Sisters memoir An Act Surprising. On September 23, 2022 at 7 pm in Watkins Museum. See you there.

Nagini used to sign all his letters with love and hisses. / Talking about letters, what is the capital of Kansas? K

..........But who calls dat livin' when no gal will give in to no man what's 900 years.........Sportin' Life …..It Ain't Necessarily So

^ The marathon is a celebration of the legendary Greek soldier Pheidippides. He is said to have run over 25 miles from the battle of Marathon to Athens to deliver news of a Greek victory, only to promptly collapse and die.

Almanac: It is Friday, September 2, 2022. The moon will be in the first quarter tomorrow (9/3) and is in Scorpio. It is Acne Positivity Day, Building and Code Staff Appreciation Day, Calendar Adjustment Day, Chicken Boy's Day, Emma M. Nutt Day, International Day of Awareness for the Dolphins of Taiji, International Toy Testing Day, National No Rhyme (Nor Reason) Day, Random Acts of Kindness Day aka Be Kind Day, and World Letter Writing Day. Because it is the first Friday in September it is also Bring Your Manners to Work Day. Finally, because it is the Friday and Saturday of Labor Day Weekend it is Cows Chip Throwing Day.

Among those born on this day were Queen Liliuokalani (1838), Henry George (1839), Cleveland Amory (1917), Allen Drury (1918), Martha Mitchell (1918), Marge Champion (1919), Joan Kennedy (1936), Peter Ueberroth (1937), Sharon McAuliffe (1948), and Keanu Reeves (1964).

On September second Pheidippides ran the first marathon (490 BCE), the great fire of London began(1666), The US Treasury Department was established by Congress (1789), gas lighting was introduced to Hawaii (1859), the Communist Party of America was organized (Chicago, 1919), the first non-stop transatlantic flight took off (37 hours, 1930), and Gershwin completed the score for Porgy and Bess (1935).

Night Sky, 9/2: Now the Moon, nearly first quarter, poses just to the right of the head of Scorpius after dusk. The star closest to the Moon there is Delta Scorpii, the brightest in the area after Antares. The website below has a star map. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Image of the Week: Max & Ollie on The Sagging Boardwalk

This Week: Saturday, September 3 – International Bacon Day & National Play Outside Day & World Beard Day

Sunday, September 4 – Bowling League Day & National Wildlife Day & Pet Rock Day

Night Sky, 9/4: Step out before the first light of dawn this week, and the sky displays the same starry panorama it does at dinnertime around New Year's. Orion is striding up in the southeast, with Aldebaran and then the Pleiades high above it. Sirius sparkles far down below Orion. The Gemini twins are lying on their sides well up in the east, left of Orion.

Monday, September 5 – Be Late For Something Day & Jury Rights Day & Yard Art Day

Tuesday, September 6 – Another Look Unlimited Day

Wednesday, September 7 – Grandma Moses Day & Neither Snow nor Rain Day & Salami Day

Night Sky,9/7: Mercury is fading and sinking very low into the sunset glow. Early in the week, you can try scanning for it with binoculars or a wide-field telescope about 20 or 30 minutes after sunset. Look just above the horizon a little left of due west. Good luck.

Thursday, September 8 – Iguana Awareness Day & International Literacy Day & National School Picture Day

I write letters in longhand because even my blood is type O. / Jennie began all her letters from summer camp with S'more News...

..........One of these mornings you're going to rise up singing.........Clair …..Summertime

^^ In 2016, over 545,000 runners competed in one of 816 marathons in the US and Canada. Add up all that race mileage and it's almost enough to circle the globe!

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Pisstified: The state of being equal parts pissed-off and mystified at the same time. --Submitted by INRITH

Moonbeam: What this world needs is a new kind of army – the army of the kind. --Cleveland Amory

Video of the Week: Queen Liliuokalani singing Aloha Oe (2:34) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1bIxMYPlas

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: So you know, Fauci has been doing this job for so long that his first controversy was when Congressional Republicans accused him of making up these germ things...He's unclear about why he's finally retiring, maybe because he can finally pay off his student loans. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 8/27/22

The only alternative to war is peace and the only road to peace is negotiations. --Golda Meir

I went to the Post Office to mail a letter to China but I had to wait behind Satan forever. The devil takes many forms. / My poor dad; he's waiting in line at the post office to buy stamps for email.

..........Guess I'll take my honey an' her sunny smile along.........Chorus …..Oh, I Can't Sit Down

^^^ At 100 years old, Fauja Singh became the oldest person to run a marathon in 2011, when he completed the Toronto Waterfront Marathon in 8:25:16! And incredibly, at age 3, Budhia Singh became the youngest to complete a marathon.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: There is considerable overlap between the intelligence of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists. --Yosemite National Park forest ranger

Weird Word of the Week: Ensorcelled – enchanted or bewitched http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-ens1.htm

Dragon of the Week: Dragon Temple in Beijing

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Sweeten a cup of coffee or tea. Substitute a teaspoon of Aunt Jemina Original Syrup for each teaspoon of sugar or honey. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/auntjemima.html

I asked the clerk at the post office to keep my letter away from snow, rain, heat, and gloom of night. / Sorry, we no longer have forever stamps. We only have day by day stamps.

...........I'll ride that long, long road.........Porgy …..Lawd, I'm On My Way

^^^^ With 45,000 runners crossing the start line in 2010, the New York Marathon is the largest in the world. But it had humble beginnings. The New York Marathon started in 1970, with 127 people each paying $1 to run several loops around Central Park. Nothing against Central Park, but we like the 5 boroughs route better!

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Counting to ten just makes it premeditated. --Submitted by bc of tx

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: CoKoCon (2-5, Tempe,AZ) ...traditional science fiction/fantasy convention in the Phoenix metropolitan area... ~~In my opinion traditional is good..it means there are a lot of actors that you have to pay to see. Guests of Honor: Joseph Nassise and local author Linda Addison. http://www.cokocon.org/2022/index.html

Actual Science Conference of the Week:CIGRE 2022 (28-2, Paris) <de>coding the future of energy. Together. https://new.siemens.com/global/en/company/fairs-events/fairs/cigre.html?gclid=Cj0KCQjwjbyYBhCdARIsAArC6LKgZ8u_pVbV7teZr9W71Vz8t2MXH__aF7kkUQrdoxQ9qsPY_gJVxmEaAjSkEALw_wcB&acz=1

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Clarinet (Claire, Annette) → Recital

When I told the clerk at the Post Office that this letter had to be in Des Moines by Friday, she asked if I was trying to tell her how to do her job? / It's hard for women to get ahead at the Post Office. It's a mail dominated industry.

..........I'll carry you away from war........Bess …..Gone, Gone, Gone

^^^^^ During the 2007 Boston Marathon, astronaut Sunita Williams ran 26.2 miles while onboard the International Space Station in 4 hours and 24 minutes.

My Own Writing of the Week: The university in the 1960s was a perfect place to reshape, well, really, anything. I studied English Literature (I tell people I have a degree in reading), worked for peace and justice, and indulged myself. Feminist activism wasn't on the menu yet, but it was coming, we all knew it. I attended a junior college, a college, and, finally, a university. I received a bachelor's degree. My mother wanted to go to college but it was the depression and there was no money. My mother expected me to go to college and I enjoyed it twice – once for me and once for her. I worked with the Student Peace Union and Students for a Democratic Society trying to make it a better world and trying to end the Vietnam war. The indulgences are discussed later.

I also researched and found a history of women who loved sex and wrote juicy books about it. Anais Nin / George Sand / Radclyff Hall / Sappho / Pauline Réage / Christina Rossetti / Helen Gurley Brown -Always Surrender: Memories, observations, micro-stories, fantasies, and lies from my life as an insurgent in the sexual revolution by Christine Smith

The sexual embrace can only be compared with music and with prayer. --Marcus Aurelius

Quote of the Week: Student loan forgiveness undermines one of our military's greatest recruitment tools at a time of dangerously low enlistments. --Jim Banks

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you are having second thoughts you're two ahead of most people.

Today's Peace of History, September 2, 1945: Revolutionary leader Ho Chi Minh declared Vietnam a republic and independent from France (National Day). Half a million people gathered in Hanoi to hear him read the Vietnamese Declaration of Independence which was based on the U.S. Declaration of Independence.

At least the penny postcard is still only $.44 / The Post Office refused to sell mollusk stamps. It's bad enough they're called Snail Mail without advertising it.

..........I wanna stay here with you forever.........Bess …..I Loves You, Porgy

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle September 2, 2022, ePistolary ePistle Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: Let it be known that any irregularities in my mental stability have been brought upon me by outside forces...namely the administration of King Richard Milhous Nixon. --Martha Mitchell

Cost of War:

• As of 9/01/22 State Department War Costs since 2001: $186,669,932,135.
• As of 8/25/22 State Department War Costs since 2001: $186,095,320,365.
• As of 9/01/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,080,492,045,961.
• As of 8/25/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,078,887,049,373.
• As of 9/01/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,114,469,158,154.
• As of 8/25/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,113,844,993,154.
• As of 9/01/22 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,615,669,518,426.
• As of 8/25/22 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,603,502,956,037.
• As of 9/01/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,980,059,015,720.
• As of 8/25/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,978,840,360,377.
• As of 9/01/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7.977,362,301,406.
• As of 8/25/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,961,172,821,578.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

We could have peace in one year if women were organized. --Jeannette Rankin

Famous Last Words: ...for the use of the person giving such information. An Act to Establish the Treasury Department

..........Oh, dey's so fresh an' fine an' dey's just off de vine, strawberries..........Chorus …..Street Cries

Every year our local Post Office has customer appreciation day and has a big watermailin feast. / The bad news is they're sending out pink slips to postal employees...the good news is they're sending them by mail.

May Peace encourage your journey

And Joy vitalize your path

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Inviscid ePistle

 Famous First Words: Willkommen, Bienvenue, Welcome ...Cabaret

Happy World Water Week. You know, I had a friend who dug a hole in her back yard and then she filled it with water. She meant well./ When General Hospital in Kentucky was underwater during the flood, they hired sturgeon surgeons.

It'd be easier to afford a Women's Equality Day party if we made as much money as men.

..........Yeah, I'm never, never, never, never gonna be the same.........Aerosmith …..Crazy

Go forth in peace. --St Clare of Assisi

It is a beautiful Friday morning. 70°F and sunny makes it very nice to be outside and very pretty looking out the window. There are almost clouds in the sky. On the edges of sight there are wisps of white but when you look close, they seem to not be there, not even on the horizon. There is no breeze to speak of and the trees are still and stately and very, very green. Puck and I walked earlier...BCE (Before current errands). He was fine until the cat from next door walked across his driveway; then we had to come back home to explain to the cat at length whose driveway it is. Jeff has been taken to the Ortho doctor for his shot and certain commodities have been purchased. On our trip we saw a low flying airplane, two people walking three large dogs, and lots of traffic. But I am home now, eating a biscuit, drinking my doctored decaf; and, of course, my favorite part, writing to you.

Hope your weekend is wet and wonderful, ePistliers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The Mars company has relented and will now add a Tucker Carlson M&M. They're all-white, extra bitter, and will meltdown when mixed with multi-colored M&Ms. --Submitted by cf of ks

Those fish that stay at the bottom of the ocean, are fish that dropped out of school. / When the kitchen faucet broke and sprayed water everywhere. We just used the counter as a pool table.

Feminism: The radical view that women are people.

..........Your love child with wild child smile.........Aerosmith …..Gypsy Boots

Trivia Questions: Happy National Toilet Paper Day!

• ^ About how many trees does it take to make enough toilet paper for one person for one lifetime?
• ^^ When did toilet paper first appear?
• ^^^ How many sheets does the average roll of toilet paper contain?
• ^^^^ When did rolled and perforated toilet paper appear?
• ^^^^^ What Eco-friendly toilet papers are available?

Big Hello: Ola – Galician https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: School Dress Code Update: Students cannot wear clothing with the name of any musician or band unless the student can name at least three of their songs. --Submitted by rm of ks

Image of the Week: This is Veronica, our newest family member.

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: Ranganathan’s First Law of More

Honest Library Science: The Library is a growing organism that feeds on the hopes and optimism of new librarians. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Pier pressure keeps the dock floating above water. / As raindrops say, two's company, three's a cloud.

I've just met a woman who raps about equality for women everywhere. She's called 'Feminem'

..........Drashin' spurs, pong man, puss n' boots.........Aerosmith …..Jig It Up

Moonbeam: I understood that the will could not be improved before the mind has been enlightened. --Johann Heinrich Lambert

Meditation of the Week: Are humans innately good or evil? --traditionally Hobbes vs Rousseau

Puzzle of the Week: It's a straightforward puzzle. Think of a place where you can find coins, in two words. Put the second word first, and you'll get a compound word describing most holiday cards. What words are these? --Public Radio Sunday Puzzle 12/30/18

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Why read dystopian fiction when you can just pay attention.

Advice: If you own a waterbed, don't fill it with spring water. It will keep tossing you out. / This ant floating on top of the Koi pond is male. We know because he's buoyant.

In honor of National Women's Equality Day, today will be only 21 hours and 30 minutes long.

..........About ordinary people.........Aerosmith …..Eat The Rich

^ It takes about 384 trees to make the toilet paper that one uses within a lifetime. The average person uses 100 rolls of toilet paper per year (over 20,000 sheets).

Almanac: It is Friday, August 26, 2022. The moon will be new tomorrow (8/28) and is in Leo. It is National Dog Day, National Toilet Paper Day, and Women's Equality Day. It's Namibia it's Namibia Day and in the US it is Susan B Anthony Day (1920). Zanzibar celebrates the Sultan's Birthday. Because it is the last Friday it is World Daffodil Day and because it is the last full weekend in August it is also International Bat Night and The Duchess Who Wasn't Day.

Among those born on this day were Robert Walpole (1676), Johann Lambert (1728), Joseph Montgolfier (1740), Antoine-Laurent Lavoisier (1743), Charles Richet (1850), Earl Biggers (1884), Christopher Isherwood (1904), Albert Sabin (1906), Geraldine Ferraro (1935), Jet Black (1948), and Macauley Culkin (1981). On August twenty-sixth Caesar invaded Britain (55 BCE), the Phillies walked 17 Dodgers in a single game (1903), the 19th Amendment (Women's suffrage) passed (1920), the International Hockey Hall of Fame opened (Toronto, 1961), the Summer Olympics opened in Munich (1972), the University of Texas began offering belly dancing (1973), Aerosmith appeared on the cover of the Rolling Stone (1976), and NASA launched Telsat-F (1982).

Night Sky, 9/26: Late these evenings as autumn approaches, Fomalhaut, the Autumn Star, makes its inevitable appearance above the southeast horizon. Its rising time will depend on where you live. But by 10 or 11 pm now, you should have no trouble identifying it low in the southeast if you have a good view in that direction. No other 1st-magnitude star is anywhere near there. Hint: It's about two fists lower left of Saturn. The moon becomes new at 3:17 am 8/27. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Brothers with Ice Cream

This Week: Saturday, August 27 – Go Topless Day** & Just Because Day

** The Saturday nearest August 26 = Women's Equality Day

Sunday, August 28 – National Thoughtful Day & National Weed Out Hate Day

Night Sky, 8/28: Another sign of the advancing season: Cassiopeia is high in the northeast, its W pattern tilting up. And below it, starry Perseus is reaching up.

Monday, August 29 – According To Hoyle Day & Individual Rights Day & More Herbs, Less Salt Day

Tuesday, August 30 – International Whale Shark Day & National Grief Awareness Day

Wednesday, August 31 – Love Litigating Lawyers Day & National Diatomaceous Earth Day

Night Sky, 8/31: The asteroid 4 Vesta is just past opposition and showing itself at a relatively bright magnitude 6.1. This week it's in western Aquarius about 8° southeast of Delta Capricorni, which is currently the 3rd-magnitude neighbor of Saturn

Thursday, September 1 – National No Rhyme (Nor Reason) Day & World Letter Writing Day

Anyone can make holy water, you just boil the devil out of it. / Nestle's started up a live stream network. It's 24 hours of running water.

Problem with pay equality is that men tend to go for higher paying jobs...like doctors or directors. While women tend to settle with lesser paying ones like female doctors or female directors.

..........Oh, the times I could reminisce.........Aerosmith …..Walk This Way

^^ The first account of toilet paper use was recorded in 6th century China.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Turns out you can just buy a birthday cake anytime and eat it yourself. Nobody checks.

Moonbeam: We've chosen the path to equality, don't let them turn us around. --Geraldine Ferraro

Video of the Week: Liza Minnelli & Joel Grey Money from Cabaret https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8P80A8vy9I

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Wait Wait Don't Tell Me: Road Trip Edition (Summer Vacation Reruns) Peaches Christ, queen of San Francisco Drag Queens and star of the Wizard of Oz musical: After 75 minutes of watching you as Dorothy the film must seem boring, thin, and silly? --Peter Sagal 8/20/22

Love endures everything. --St Faustina

The Trump organization heard there was a drought so now they're selling dehydrated water. / Divers discovered a sunken Spanish frigate on the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico. It kept shivering and shaking. I guess it was a nervous wreck.

Joke Without A Title of the Week: Awful day today. I had 2 volumes of the collected work of Hegel in my car and someone broke in and left 2 more. --Submitted by Philosophy Matters

A woman asked me, “What does equality mean?” I said, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

..........Backstreet boogie in the house of delight.........Aerosmith …..Lick and Promise

^^^ The average toilet paper roll consists of 333 sheets.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Even the Sophists hate that one guy in your graduate seminar. --Submitted by Philosophy Matters

Weird Word of the Week: Diatomaceous (adj) Consisting of or containing diatoms or their fossil remains. Diatom – any of numerous microscopic, unicellular, marine or freshwater algae of the phylum Chrysophyta, having cell walls containing silica. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/diatom

Dragon of the Week: Wat Samphran Temple – Khlong Mai, Thailand

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Relieves a sore throat. Take two teaspoons of Aunt Jemima Original Syrup to coat and soothe the throat. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/auntjemima.html

Mermaids sleep on waterbeds. / Bibliotek Hel threw a billion books into the ocean. It was a title wave.

It's Women's Equality Day. Let's send thoughts and prayers to all of Donald Trump's female supporters.

...........Thinkin' 'about the night life in the ladies powder room.........Aerosmith …..The Hop

^^^^ Seth Wheeler patented rolled and perforated toilet paper on December 22, 1891.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Blasphemy: Speech that has been outlawed to prevent your religion from losing arguments. --Submitted by LaughingInDisbelief

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: San Diego International Kids Film Festival (26-28, San Diego) Winner of the Special Jury Award is Sihja, the Rebel Fairy http://sdkidsfilms.org/Home.html

Actual Science Conference of the Week: KnowledgeFest Dallas 2022 (8/26/22, Dallas) KnowledgeFest Dallas is a full trade show and educational conference for mobile electronics retailers. https://m.eventsinamerica.com/events/knowledgefest-dallas-2022/technology/electronics/bhy0cxuhw2cyiik3

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Wishing Well → Well Wishing

I should have studied oceanography in college. My grades were always below C level. / I started going out with my boyfriend when he gave me a bottle of tonic water. He schwepped me off my feet.

Sexism is a man screaming he has a better temperament than a woman who has been patiently waiting to speak after being interrupted 10 times. --Chris Bacon

..........Love has got me down.........Aerosmith …..Shut Up And Dance

^^^^^ Bamboo and recycled paper are alternatives to 365 trees. My favorite provider is Who Gives A Crap. https://us.whogivesacrap.org/

My Own Writing of the Week: When I went away to college, I met and mated a steady stream of boys with whom sex was boring and dull, excruciatingly monotonous, mind-mindbogglingly repetitive, and sometimes painfully embarrassing. I am sure this grim gauntlet discouraged a lot of would-be bad girls and likely caused many others to embrace lesbianism...both general and deeply latent. But, damn, I still liked it.

Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don't have time. --Tallulah Bankhead

I became convinced that any woman could enjoy sex and be good or bad for wholly other reasons. Many women enjoy sex and are good women, in spite of the apparently morally corrosive nature of it. What is the logic here? If you enjoy your time in the bedroom, you might begin to want to enjoy yourself in the kitchen, in your life in general. It could lead to women wanting meaningful jobs and adequate pay. My own sainted mother once said that while she didn't much like being pregnant she did like "making babies". (She said this when I was well into my adult years and had children of my own, not when I was a teenager and could have used a little direction.)

Among those of us trying to cope with this mess the most common response was to pretend to not like sex. Lots of women tried this; many had affairs later so they didn't have to pretend all the time. Some let their husbands in on the joke. But we still didn't talk about it. --Always Surrender: Memories, observations, micro-stories, fantasies, and lies from my life as an insurgent in the sexual revolution ~~What happened was that I came upon a piece of this memoir which was in dire need of editing. So I have worked on it and I'm back to this story. Sorry for the interruption.

Quote of the Week: Kushner looks like a mannequin, and he writes like one. --Vanity Fair review of Jared Kushern's Memoir Breaking History.

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I heard what you did for a Klondike bar. Call me. --Submitted by INRITH

Today's Peace of History, August 26, 1970: Betty Friedan lead a nationwide protest called the “Women’s Strike for Equality” in New York City on the fiftieth anniversary of women’s suffrage

What happens when you throw a white hat into the Black Sea? It gets wet. / Raindrop Pick Up Lines: Water you doing tonight? / Do you know why scuba divers always fall backwards into the water? Because if they fell forward they'd still be in the boat.

Given that we live in an era of equality, it is only fair that for every 100 men drafted for the war...We shall draft 79 women.

..........Well, I gots to drink me two fifths of whiskey.........Aerosmith …..Reefer Head Woman

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle August 26, 2022, Inviscid ePistle Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS

Moonbeam: Sometimes awful things have their own beauty. --Christopher Isherwood

Cost of War:

• As of 8/25/22 State Department War Costs since 2001: $186,095,320,365.
• As of 8/18/22 State Department War Costs since 2001: $185,562,000,614.
• As of 8/25/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,078,887,049,373.
• As of 8/18/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,077,400,218,735.
• As of 8/25/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,113,844,993,154.
• As of 8/18/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,113,266,788,365.
• As of 8/25/22 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,603,502,956,037.
• As of 8/18/22 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,592,232,876,804.
• As of 8/25/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,978,840,360,377.
• As of 8/18/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,977,711,517,536.
• As of 8/25/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,961,172,821,578.
• As of 8/18/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,946,176,767,271.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

The gifts of grace increase as the struggles increase. --St Rose of Lima

Famous Last Words: ..by the appropriate legislation. 19^th Amendment US Constitution

..........Give my heart a break.........Aerosmith …..Another Last Goodbye

Why do corporations hire female Equality Officers? Because they’re cheaper.

I always wanted to play water polo but I could never get the horse to swim. / I opened a bottle of Ozark Spring Water but the water just squirted out in my face.

May Freedom bring Peace

And Equality impart Joy

prairie mama

christine

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