Rummy ePistle

 Famous First Words: The clergy of both provinces... writ of annulment of the union of Henry VIII and Anne of Cleves 7/9/1540

Happy Birthday, Donald Rumsfeld. He would have been 89 today. – Donald Rumsfeld says marriage equality may lead to Polygamy. Kinda like how a terrorist from Saudi Arabia can lead to a war in Iraq. --Hayden Black

..........You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain.........Jerry Lee Lewis …..Great Ball of Fire (1957)

We are speaking on this occasion, not as members of this or that nation, continent, or creed, but as human beings, members of the species Human, whose continued existence is in doubt.

What a beautiful Friday morning. Sun is shining through every lacy leaf and branch. A delightful 76°F warms in the sun but stays cool in the shade. Fleecy white clouds wander around the sky making the world into a Bob Ross painting. A lone bird sits on a long stretch of wire and sings a morning anthem. I cannot see it's coloring and the song is unfamiliar. Cottonwood snow is still floating around and the earth smells of honeysuckle and growth. We walk and bark our way up to Brush Creek where the sidewalk ends (but none of Seuss' neat stuff is there) and back, around the sub-cul-de-sac then south towards the mosquito farm. Last week's rains are still producing a hungry, hungry crop. Then we return home for either a snooze in the dog cave under the bed or sitting down with a cup of creamy decaf and the chance to write to you.

Hope your weekend is colorful, to say the least, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is gonna be okay. --Submitted by MMS

Before we judge Donald Rumsfeld for his war crimes, let's make sure he hasn't done any adorable paintings. --Matt Nedostup

..........Everything will turn out alright.........The Beach Boys …..Don't Worry, Baby (1964)

Trivia Questions: July 9^th – a Big Day for Doughnuts

^ The doughnut hole cutter was patented on this day in 1872. Any idea who or where it was invented?

^^ Tomorrow, July tenth (or thirteenth depending on the source) is the anniversary of Krispy Kreme. How old do you figure they are?

^^^ Any idea what wonderful new features the 1872 doughnut cutter had?

^^^^ What do we know about the birth of Dunkin Donuts?

^^^^^ How many doughnuts were consumed in the US last year, more or less?

Big Hello: Häj å dig – Elfdalian (Sweden) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My housekeeping style is best described as “There appears to have been a struggle”.

Max Picture of the Week: Max emerging from the primal egg

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 36% of librarians have a favorite recurring dream where they're interviewed on NPR. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Donald Rumsfeld made me stay in Greece for a couple weeks back in the day. Yes, he's responsible for hundreds of thousands of deaths and for one of the worst military miscalculations in the history of warfare, but you can't say the weather wasn't perfect that time I was in Greece. --Jason Mack

..........Go ask Alice when she's ten feet tall.........Jefferson Airplane …..White Rabbit (1967)

Moonbeam: A well-informed mind is the best security against the contagion of folly and of vice. --Ann Ward Radcliffe

Meditation Seed of the Week: Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: US Heatwave Subsides As Gates Of Hell Close Behind Donald Rumsfeld. --Jim Ross --Submitted by Lawrence Liberals

Week of the Week: Nude Recreation Week (4-10) --Two nudist philosophers are sitting by the pool and one says, “Have you read Marx?”. The other replies, “Yes, I believe it's from the cane chairs. / I think the local nudist colony just went out of business. The sign on their gate says: Clothed Until Further Notice.

Rumor: Rumsfeld showed up at the Pentagon asking to stay there for a while because he had no post-resignation exit plan either.

..........Oh, baby, give me one more chance.........Jackson Five …..I Want You Back (1970)

^ John F. Blondel of Thomaston, Maine received a patent for a “new and useful” improvement in doughnut-cutters that would speed the production and consumption of the humble pastry in the US.

Almanac: It is Friday, July 9, 2021. The moon is new tonight and is in Cancer. It is Body Painting Day. Argentina celebrates Independence Day (1816) and it is Youth Day in Morocco .

Among those born on this day were Ann Ward Radcliffe (1764), Thomas Davenport (1802), Elias Howe (1819), H. V. Kaltenborn (1878), Ottorino Respighi (1879), Barbara Cartland (1901), Edward Heath (1916), Red Kelly (1927), Hassan II (1929), Lee Hazelwood (1929), Donald Rumsfeld (1932), Brian Dennehy (1938), Richard Roundtree (1939), Bon Scott (1943), Mitch Mitchell (1946), Debbie Sledge (1954), Tom Hanks (1956), Jimmy Smits 91958), Frank Bello (1965), and Fred Savage (1976).

On July seventh the marriage of Henry VIII and Anne of Cleves was annulled (1540), Kepler inscribed a geometric solid construction of the universe (1595), the US Declaration of Independence was read aloud to Washington's troops in NY (1776), the first outdoor summer theater in the US opened (Mt. Vernon Gardens, 1800), Argentina declared independence from Spain (1816), the temperature in Topeka, KS reached 112F (1860), the doughnut cutter was patented (1872), the first US duplicate auction bridge championship was held (1914), the Washington Redskins formed (1932), Satchel Paige debuted in the majors (Cleveland, 1948), Frederic Morrow became the first black executive on the White House staff (1955), Dick Clark became host of American Bandstand (1956), and nearly 100,000 demonstrators marched on DC for the ERA (1978).

Night Sky, 7/9: As twilight comes to its end, you'll now find the two brightest stars of summer, Vega and Arcturus, equally near the zenith: Vega toward the east, Arcturus toward the southwest (depending on your location). About a third of the way from Arcturus to Vega is the faint semicircle of Corona Borealis, the Northern Crown, with its one modestly bright crown jewel, Alphecca or Gemma, on its front. Nearly two thirds of the way from Arcturus to Vega is the Keystone of Hercules. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Why does saying “Have a nice day” to someone sound friendly but saying “Enjoy your next 24 hours” sound threatening? --Submitted by Psychotic Delusions

Image of the Week: These are some of the marchers from the 1978 ERA demonstration in DC. I recognize Dick Gregory and Betty Friedan – I should probably know the others but I don't.

This Week: Saturday, July 10 – Bald Is In & Teddy Bears' Picnic Day & US Energy Independence Day

Night Sky, 7/10: If you have a dark enough sky on these moonless nights, the Milky Way now forms a magnificent arch high across the whole eastern sky. It runs all the way from below Cassiopeia in the north-northeast, up and across Cygnus and the Summer Triangle in the east, and down past the spout of the Sagittarius Teapot in the south.

Sunday, July 11 – Cheer Up The Lonely Day & Make Your Own Sundae Day & Ratha Yatro

Monday, July 12 – Different Colored Eyes Day & Night of Nights & Simplicity Day

Tuesday, July 13 – Embrace Your Geekness Day & Gruntled Workers Day

Wednesday, July 14 – Bastille Day & International Nude Day & Shark Awareness Day

Night Sky, 7/14 : With the advance of summer the Sagittarius Teapot, in the south-southeast lower left of Scorpius after dark, is starting to tilt and pour from its spout to the right. The Teapot will tilt farther and farther for the rest of the summer.

Thursday, July 15 – Be A Dork Day & World Youth Skills Day & St Swithin's Day**

**If it rains on St. Swithin's Day it will rain every day for the next 40 days but if it is fair, 40 days of fair weather will follow.

In the new X-Files reboot, the Lone Gunmen will be played by Rumsfeld, Cheney, and Bush. --DNA

..........It used to be so nice.........Abba …..SOS (1975)

^^ Krispy Kreme was founded by Vernon Rudolph, who bought a yeast-raised recipe from a New Orleans chef, rented a building in 1937 in what is now historic Old Salem in Winston-Salem, NC, and began selling to local grocery stores. So, 84 years old.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: God grant me the confidence and perseverance of a typo that's made it through 45 rounds of edits. --Submitted by wr

Moonbeam: Love can strike at any time in a blinding flash – it is so powerful that no-one can fight it. --Barbara Cartland

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie makes it through his first year and enjoys the rewards.

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Yes. Buffets are back, y'all. Pandemic restrictions on the human food troughs..are finally being lifted. So the only thing between you and all-you-can-eat tater skins is good judgment. Oh, it's been so hard during the pandemic to find a good place to get food that someone else has picked up and put back. --Faith Salie Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 7/3/21

No doubt, in an H-bomb war, great cities would be obliterated. But this is one of the minor disasters that would have to be faced. If everybody in London, New York, and Moscow were exterminated, the world might, in the course of a few centuries, recover from the blow. But we now know, especially since the Bikini test, that nuclear bombs can gradually spread destruction over a very much wider area than had been supposed.

The George W. Bush Library will be run by the Donald Rumsfeld Library, the Paul Wolfowitz Library and the Dick Cheney Library. --Warren Holstein

..........Gonna open up after so long.........John Travolta …..Let Her In (1976)

^^^ The device described in Patent No. 128,783 was intended to automate the process of cutting those dastardly doughnuts — holes and all — as efficiently as a hole punch. The desired edge could be plain or scalloped. This ingenious contraption would push the dough out of the center tube, leaving it free for making the next doughnut.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Hanlon's Razor: Never assume malice when incompetence will suffice as an explanation. --Submitted by nd

Weird Word of the Week: Randygazoo: It’s a century-old term, now rare, for a deceptive story or scheme, pranks, tricks or other irritating or foolish carryings-on. World Wide Words: Rannygazoo

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean a microwave oven. Sprinkle Arm & Hammer Baking Soda on a damp sponge, scrub, and rinse. Arm & Hammer®: Wacky Uses

Puzzle of the Week: This challenge comes from listener Julia Lewis, of Fort Collins, Colo. Take the name of a major American city. Hidden inside it in consecutive letters is the name of a Japanese food. Remove that. The remaining letters can be rearranged to spell some Mexican foods. Name the city and the foods. NPR Sunday Puzzle 7/4/21

Donald Rumsfeld told the IRS that he has no idea if his tax returns are accurate. Obama suggested that he hire a trained ape to do his taxes --Lee Mays

...........And I learned how to get along.........Gloria Gaynor …..I Will Survive (1979)

^^^^ The story of Dunkin’ Donuts began in 1948 with a restaurant in Quincy, Massachusetts called “Open Kettle.” Founder William Rosenberg served donuts for five cents and premium cups of coffee for ten cents.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables. Jack and the beans talk.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Utopia 2021 (9-11, Wyboston Resort, Bedfordshire, UK) Three day fun packed with activities, featuring much-loved celebrity guests, behind-the-scenes heroes, first time appearances, reunions, and much more from all the wide and wondrous worlds of Doctor Who. Utopia 2021 — Fantom Events

Actual Science Conference of the Week: International Conference on Computational Astrophysics and Visualization (8-9, Prague CZ) ...the most recent innovations, trends, and concerns in the fields of Computational Astrophysics and Visualization. International Conference on Computational Astrophysics and Visualization ICCAV005 in July 2021 in Prague (waset.org)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: SACRAMENTO --> RAMEN — > TACOS

Rumor: Dubya was thinking of using tactical nuclear weapons - and that was just to get Rumsfeld out of the office.

..........You won't have to think twice.........Kim Carnes …..Bette Davis Eyes (1981)

^^^^^ The data has been calculated by Statista based on the US Census data and Simmons National Consumer Survey (NHCS). According to this statistic, 201.02 million Americans consumed doughnuts in 2020.

Video of the Week: Time lapse video of the earth's rotation under the Milky Way stars. V Earth’s Rotation Visualized in a Timelapse of the Milky Way Galaxy by Aryeh Nirenberg | Colossal (thisiscolossal.com)

Extreme Topiary of the Week:

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Awful day today. I had 2 volumes of the collected work of Hegel in my car and someone broke in and left 2 more. --Submitted by Philosophy Matters

There's a whole lot of #Hilarysplaning going on today. Was she indicted? No, oh well neither were Rumsfeld, Cheney and, Bush. --Mark Anthony Ramirez

..........Caught up in circles, confusion is nothing new.........Cyndi Lauper …..Time After Time (1984)

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle July 9, 2021, Rummy ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: One act of beneficence, one act of real usefulness, is worth all the abstract sentiment in the world. --Ann Ward Radcliffe

Cost of War:

As of 7/8/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,145,410,180,931.

As of 7/1/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,143,460,670,470.

As of 7/8/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,046,968,153,428.

As of 7/1/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,045,643,240,364.

As of 7/8/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $865,845,771,431.

As of 7/1/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $864,180,170,744.

As of 7/8/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $352,419.508,193.

As of 7/1/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $352,040.968,545.

As of 7/8/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,410,644,421,116.

As of 7/1/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,405,325,997,722.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Most of us are not neutral in feeling, but, as human beings, we have to remember that, if the issues between East and West are to be decided in any manner that can give any possible satisfaction to anybody, whether Communist or anti-Communist, whether Asian or European or American, whether White or Black, then these issues must not be decided by war. We should wish this to be understood, both in the East and in the West. --Today's quotes are from the Russell-Einstein Manifesto signed by 11 leading sciences 7/9/55

Famous Last Words: ...our fortunes and our sacred honor. --US Declaration of Independence

..........Er war ein Punker.........Falco …..Rock Me Amadeus (1986) ~Today's songs are from someone's list of the 20 best acts ever on American Bandstand.

It looks like Rumsfeld finally got a peaceful transition. --Peter Stegemeyer

May Peace be your seed

And Joy be your blossom

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Alien ePistle

 Famous First Words: Greeting, my friends... Opening line of Plan 9 From Outer Space

It is both the anniversary of the first Laugh-In episode and World UFO Day. L-I Announcer: In defiance of numerous requests, we will now proceed with the entertainment portion of Rowan and Laugh Martin-In / Information on UFOs recently declassified by the pentagon: Crop circles were caused by aliens stealing corn for BBQs on the moon.

..........Send them your love..........Barbra Streisand …..People

It is now highly feasible to take care of everybody on Earth at a higher standard of living than any have ever known. It no longer has to be you or me. Selfishness is unnecessary. War is obsolete. It is a matter of converting the high technology from weaponry to livingry. --Buckminster Fuller

It is a gorgeous Friday morning. The sky is blue with lines and bunches of clouds gathered and scattered like sheep in a field. 69°F feels so fine and keeps the mugginess down to a minimum. The world smells of dampness, soil, foliage, and pavement, but there is no sign of rain. Several lawns in the neighborhood are dusted with cottonwood “snow” which rises with the least breeze and floats away to the next lawn. Puck barks at everything this morning, other dogs, people, rabbits, even the cottonwood fluff when it floats near him. There are gusts of winds blowing the cotton and the willow branches as birds singing summer songs flit in and out of the massive, moving mound of green. A family of sparrows light upon the shed roof and look over the yard to make their morning dining plans. They hip hop so delicately. Back home, Puck crawls into his dog cave under the bed and I sit down with a cup of sweet, creamy decaf. What a perfect day to write to you.

Hope your weekend is out of this world, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The National Weather Services has just published instructions on how to bake a lasagna in your mailbox. --Submitted by INRITH

L-I: Barbara Feldon: It's not the hawks and doves that I'm worried about...it's those cuckoos in Washington that want to make pigeons out of all of us. / Information on UFOs recently declassified by the pentagon: We've translated 3 messages from the Mothership 1) Don't slough 2) Eat your vegetables 3) Space is cold, take a sweater.

..........Or freckle on the nose of life's complexion..........Barbra Streisand …..Don't Rain On My Parade

Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday Land Grant Colleges !

^ What is a land grant college, anyway?

^^ Why were land grant institutions instituted?

^^^ Any idea what was the very first land grant university?

^^^^ How many of these institutions exist today, more or less?

^^^^^ Are all land grants public state colleges now?

Big Hello: Mǫkǫm – Efik (Nigeria) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you can't look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot. --Submitted by INRITH

Max Picture of the Week: Max finding new and creative ways to use cup holders

Fake Library Statistic of the Week: Due to budget cuts 75% of book cart drill teams have been moved to reserve drill team status https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

LI: Goldie Hawn: The high cost of living doesn't bother me, I live on the ground floor. / Information on UFOs recently declassified by the pentagon: One of the UFOs photographed by navy fliers has an UBER sign in the front window.

..........I never dreamed it was so high..........Barbra Streisand …..A Piece Of Sky

Moonbeam: A minimum of comfort is necessary for the practice of virtue. --Patrice Lumumba

One Before Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The hole in a guitar is traditionally used to store soft cheeses and dried meats which are fed to the drummer when he does a good job. --Musicians United

Meditation Seed of the Week: Why is it said that an alarm clock is said to be going off when really it's coming on?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The existence of the Straight and Narrow implies the existence of the Gay and Thick. -B --Submitted by MMS

Week of the Week: National Unassisted Home Birth Week (1-7) --Have your baby at home, they won't let you drink beer in a hospital. / I plan on having such an awesome birth that Morgan Freeman will narrate it. ~~I had 2 babies at home without assistance. The first one came before the midwife got there late and the second one – they said I wasn't ready and sent me home from the hospital. Babies and mothers were both fine. I never planned to have them unassisted, honestly.

L-I Milton Berle: The way some of the younger generation carries on, some people wish that they'd develop a birth control pill that was retroactive. / Information on UFOs recently declassified by the pentagon: about 1/3 of all UFOs are just stopping because the crew isn't allowed to smoke on the ship.

..........your spirit illuminates my soul..........Barbra Streisand …..Papa Can You Hear Me

^ A Land Grant College is an institution of higher education in the United States designated by a state to receive the benefits of the Morrill Acts of 1862 and 1890.

Almanac: It is Friday, July 2, 2021. The moon was last quarter yesterday and is in Aries. It is World UFO Day, I Forgot Day, Made In The USA Day, and Second Half of The Year Day:

Among those born on this day were Lili Braun (1865), Hermann Hesse (1877), Walter Brennan (1894), Hans Bethe (1906), Dan Rowan (1922), Patrice Lumumba (1925), John Sununu (1939), Linda Godwin (1952), Wendy Lawrence (1959), and Jose Canseco (1964),

On July second the Continental Congress resolved these United Colonies are and of right ought to be Free & Independent, (1776), Vermont became the first American colony to abolish slavery (1777), de Sade shouted from the Bastille that prisoners were being slaughtered (1787), Lincoln signed the act establishing land grant agricultural colleges (1862), Statuary Hall in the US Capitol was established (1864), NYC first elevated railroad began service (1867), president Garfield was shot (1881), the Sherman Antitrust Act prohibited industrial monopolies (1890), the first Zeppelin airship flew (1900), the US Army Air Corps was created and the Distinguish Flying Cross award was authorized (1926), Amelia Earhart was last heard over the Pacific Ocean (1937), the Lawrence Welk Show premiered (1955), Plan 9 From Outer Space premiered (1957), Barbra Streisand played Vegas for the first time (1963), Johnson signed the Civil Rights Act of 1964 (1964), Giotto was launched towards Halley's Comet (1985), and the Supreme Court upheld affirmative action (1988).

Night Sky, 7/2: Venus hardly moves now with respect to your landscape from week to week, but its background stars are sliding right along, toward the lower right. On July 2nd the Beehive Cluster, M44, passes behind Venus. Try binoculars or a wide-field scope — but this will be a difficult observation if it's possible at all! You'll have to catch the narrow time window between the sky being too bright and Venus and the Beehive getting too low and setting http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Image of the Week: The shed is finished

This Week: Saturday, July 3 – Drop A Rock Day & Stay Out Of The Sun Day & International Day of Cooperatives

Sunday, July 4 – US Independence Day & Indivisible Day & National BBQ Ribs Day

Night Sky, 7/4: Low in the northwest or north at the end of the long summer twilight, would you recognize noctilucent clouds if you saw them? They're the most astronomical of all cloud types, what with their extreme altitude and formation on meteoric dust particles. And they're fairly rare — though they've become more common in recent years as the atmosphere and climate change

Monday, July 5 – Bikini Day & Earth a Aphelion

Tuesday, July 6 – Fried Chicken Day & International Kissing Day aka World Kiss Day

Wednesday, July 7 – Tell The Truth Day & World Forgiveness Day & Father-Daughter Take A Walk Together Day

Night Sky, 7/7: Nova Cassiopeiae goes wobbly. It's been 3½ months since Nova Cas 2021 erupted on March 19th to magnitude 7.7. Surprisingly, it has stayed roughly that bright ever since — except for swelling to 5.3, faint naked-eye visibility, for a week in May before dropping back to about 7.7. It's been wavering slightly since then. As of June 28th it was 7.1. The nova is moderately low in the north-northeast after dark depending on your latitude. It climbs higher later in the night.

Thursday, July 8 – National Freezer Pop Day & SCUD Day (Savor the Comic, Unplug the Drama)

L-I Cher: Sonny and I are perfectly compatible. As soon as there's a problem, my psychiatrist contacts his psychiatrist and they work it out. / Information on UFOs recently declassified by the pentagon: The large ship that comes around once every fall and leaves glitter all over the solar system is full of unicorn hunters.

..........Midnight, not a sound from the pavement..........Barbra Streisand …..Memory

^^ The mission of these institutions as set forth in the 1862 Act is to focus on the teaching of practical agriculture, science, military science, and engineering (though "without excluding...classical studies") as a response to the industrial revolution and changing social classes.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I've gotten so old I'm switching from a flying broom to a magic carpet.

Moonbeam: I'll be the person using the shuttle robotic arm. -- Linda Godwin

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie playing golf with a rabbit wearing plus fours

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: So will it be like Joe Biden gets to church and then his name is like - you know how in bodegas when people get caught stealing...Do not serve - and it's going to be Joe Biden. (Brian Babylon) It'll be more like the "Soup Nazi" episode. Except instead of soup, it's the body of Christ. (Peter Sagal) No Christ for you.( Josh Gondelman) Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 6/26/21

Our job is to love others without stopping to inquire whether or not they are worthy. --Thomas Merton

L-I Announcer: The preceding was recorded earlier because we were ashamed to do it now. / Information on UFOs recently declassified by the pentagon: The universal galactic monetary unit is called the starbuck.

..........The skies above are clear again..........Barbra Streisand …..Happy Days Are Here Again

^^^ The first land-grant institution actually created under the Act was Kansas State University, which was established on February 16, 1863, and opened on September 2, 1863.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Good News Headlines: Computer Technician Recovers Memory / Cat Survives Brush With Curiosity --Submitted by FNOG

Weird Word of the Week: Pocillovy – collecting egg cups. From the latin pocillum ovi – small cup eggs

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Protect decorative copper or brass from tarnish. After polishing decorative copper or brass, spray with Alberto VO5 Hair Spray to add a protective coating. ~~This is the last of the hair spray items. I did not like this list. I can't believe people sprayed this on their hair, day after day. It's a wonder we managed to stay alive.

Puzzle of the Week: This week's challenge comes from listener Iva Allen in Canada. Name a make of car. Write it in all capital letters. Rotate one of the letters 90 degrees and another letter 180 degrees to make a woman's name. What is it? --NPR Sunday Puzzle 6/26/21

L-I : Zsa Zsa Gabor: This program reminds me of my first honeymoon: Nobody knows what they are doing, but everybody laughs. / Information on UFOs recently declassified by the pentagon: they came to share a cure for cancer but the media was too busy reporting on Kim Kardashian's butt to listen.

...........Don't you love farce..........Barbra Streisand …..Send In The Clowns

^^^^ There are fifty-seven 1862 Institutions, located in each state, U.S. territory, and in the District of Columbia. Land-grant university - Wikipedia

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Eskimo: “If I did not know about God and sin would I go to hell?” Priest: “No, not if you did not know.” Eskimo: “Then why did you tell me?” --Submitted by sw of kc

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: InConJunction 40 (2-4, Indianapolis, IN) Celebrating 40 years! InConJunction 40 - SF&F Convention - July 2-4, 2021

Actual Science Conference of the Week: The Role of Nurture on the Star Formation Cycle of Satellite Galaxies 6/30) Germany EAS 2021 (unige.ch)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: MAZDA → WANDA

L-I Sammy Davis Jr: You know, my ancestors picked so much cotton that I still hate to open an aspirin bottle. / Information on UFOs recently declassified by the pentagon: A recent message asked us to tell them where to get a Jewish Space Laser.

..........Misty watercolor memories..........Barbra Streisand …..The Way We Were

^^^^^ Ultimately, most land-grant colleges became large public universities that today offer a full spectrum of educational opportunities. However, some land-grant colleges are private schools, including Cornell University, the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, and Tuskegee University.

Shameless Self (more or less) Promotion of the Week: Chef David tantalizes your taste buds with his culinary talents... Chef David is my son, David Chris Topher and he does his tantalizing at The Reef restaurant in KC. There's a picture and everything. About Us (thereefkc.com)

Extreme Topiary of the Week:

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's OK to cut negative people out of your life. Just don't use your fabric scissors. --Stage Directions Magazine

Today's Peace of History, July 2, 1777: Vermont became the first of the United States to abolish slavery.

LI Dick Martin: If you took all the kilts in the world and laid them end to end, you'd have a lot of naked Scotsmen. / Information on UFOs recently declassified by the pentagon: UFO traffic has picked up considerably since they built that hyperspace bypass.

..........I've got to get some life back into my life..........Barbra Streisand …..Before The Parade Passes By

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle July 2, 2021, Alien ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: If I know what love is, it is because of you. --Hermann Hesse

Cost of War:

As of 7/1/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,143,460,670,470.

As of 6/24/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,141,463,900,815.

As of 7/1/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,045,643,240,364.

As of 6/24/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,044,286,109,218.

As of 7/1/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $864,180,170,744.

As of 6/24/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $862,473,895,768.

As of 7/1/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $352,040.968,545.

As of 6/24/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $351,653.141,769.

As of 7/1/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,405,325,997,722.

As of 6/24/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,399,877,901,927.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

A woman of peace will always endorse peace wherever she goes, because she understands the true value of peace. --Gift Gugu Mona

Famous Last Words: Good Night, Dick. --Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In sign off

..........Dearie should have said so long so long ago..........Barbra Streisand …..So Long Dearie

L-I : John Wayne: The program you have just seen is true. Only the writers will be changed to protect the innocent. / Information on UFOs recently declassified by the pentagon: almost every day NASA receives a message saying DON'T SEND ELON MUSK UP HERE, PLEASE!

May Peace start you up

And Joy carry you through

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

ePistle Bibliotek

 Famous First Words: These eyes cry every night... Guess Who These Eyes

It's American Library Week. A clever librarian put books that had been recently weeded from the collection into brown paper bags and offered them free to patrons as “Blind Book Dates”. / The Librarian is a member of a small elite group of senior Librarians of Time and Space who have the knowledge and ability to travel through L-Space, an extra-dimensional space that connects all libraries and other large accumulations of books. --Terry Pratchett A description of the librarian at Unseen University for Wizards.

..........They have their silent noons, tearful nights, angry dawns.........Carly Simon …..That's The Way I've Always Hear It Should Be

“‘Don’t you see that the whole aim of Newspeak is to narrow the range of thought? In the end we shall make thoughtcrime literally impossible, because there will be no words in which to express it.’” --George Orwell

It is a cloudy Friday morning. The air is cool (76°F) but moisture laden and there is a thick layer of grayish white without texture or mark across the sky. Underneath that are groups of small gray lumps that look as if they are fresh out of the cloud-biscuit oven. They travel – very slowly in groups of a dozen or so. A light, almost fragile breeze drifts by now and again; it kisses the cheek and travels on without moving clothing or tree branches. The world is green – a dozen shades of it are visible no matter which direction I look; and it is broken up by a dozen other colors...white clover flowers, orange trumpet flowers, a rainbow wading pool, the saga blue of the finally finished storage shed. Puck barks at rabbits and squirrels and other dogs and even at nothing. He is so happy to wander about telling the world good morning or go to hell, it's hard to say which. We finish our walk and return indoors. Puck drinks an amazing amount of water and I doctor my cup of decaf to make it creamy and sweet. Puck comes to me for a little love and then settles into his early morning nap. I sit down at my computer and think about you. All this suggests it will be a very good day.

Hope your weekend fills a book, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: In 30 years, I've moved from being a moderate Democrat to a flaming socialist ultra-liberal without changing one position. --Submitted by bu of ks

Our most popular title on the subject is Cases of Amnesia. The library owns 10 copies of it because it seems to take readers about 3-6 months past the due date to return it. / Cutting libraries during a recession is like cutting hospitals during a plague. --Eleanor Crumblehulme

..........And I tell you how easy it feels to be with you.........Carly Simon …..Anticipation

Trivia Questions: Custer last stood...

^ By what name is the Battle of Little Bighorn known to the Lakota?

^^ Who were the indigenous forces that Custer faced?

^^^ Where is the Little Bighorn, more or less?

^^^^ How many men did Custer command and how many did he lose?

^^^^^ The Battle of Little Bighorn was one battle in what war?

Big Hello: Kuzu zangpo la – Dzongkha (Tibet) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: How soon after waking up is it okay to take a nap? --Submitted by INRITH

Max Picture of the Week: Here's Max the stocking footed fireman in what appears to be a jack-o-lantern shirt. I'd let him rescue me any day.

Fake Library Statistic of the Week: Top items librarians name after literary characters: 3. cats 2. children 1. body parts. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Our local library has just added a Stranger Than Fiction section. They shelved it on the far side of fiction. Most of the titles are political history. / You're right. No human being would stack books like this. --Dr Peter Venkman Ghostbusters

..........a hero in the footlights.........Carly Simon …..Legend In Your Own Time

Moonbeam: Canada is the essence of not being. Not English, not American, it is the mathematics of not being. And a subtle flavour - we're more like celery as a flavour. --Mike Myers

Meditation Seed of the Week: If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: From a programmer's point of view, the user is a peripheral that types when you issue a read request. --Peter Williams

Week of the Week: Old Time Fiddlers Week (21-26) --What's the difference between a fiddle and a violin? 1) A fiddle is fun to listen to. 2) Nobody minds if you spill beer on a fiddle. / Fiddle players motto: It's better to be sharp than out of tune.

Have you seen the library's new Books on Tape Section? It has Duct and Masking and Packing. / I really didn't realize that librarians were, you know, such a dangerous group. They are subversive. You think they're just sitting there at the desk, all quiet and everything. They're like, plotting the revolution, man. I wouldn't mess with them. ---Michael Moore

..........We could have shown them all.........George Michael …..Kissing A Fool

^ It is known as the Battle of the Greasy Grass from the Lakota. The “greasy” appearance of the grass in the waters near the battle site gave rise to this name.

Almanac: It is Friday, June 25, 2021. The moon was full (Strawberry) yesterday and is in Capricorn. It is Color TV Day (CBS), Day of The Seafarer, Global Beatles Day, Global Smurfs Day, Leon Day, National Catfish Day, National Police Community Cooperative Day, and Take Your Dog To Work Day. Because it is the fourth Friday, it is International Rose Day. And because it is the last Friday in June, it is also Drive Your Corvette to Work Day and National Food Truck Day.

Among those born on this day were Antonio Gaud (1852), Robert Henri (1865), George Orwell (1903), Peter Lind Hayes (1915), Sidney Lumet (1924), June Lockhart (1925), Robert Venturi (1925), Gary Crosby (1933), Carly Simon (1945), Jimmie Walker (1949), George Michael (1963), and Mike Myers (1963).

On June twenty-fifth the fork was introduced to American dining (1630), the first recorded monthly Quaker meeting was held (Sandwich, MA, 1672), Virginia became the 10th state to ratify the US constitution (1788), Congress passed the Alien Act (1798), Florida, Alabama, Louisiana, Georgia, North and South Carolina were readmitted to the US (1868), Die Valkyrie premiered (1870), Custer was defeated at Little Bighorn (1876), Boulder aka Hoover Dam was authorized (1929), the first commercial color television show was broadcast (Arthur Godfrey, 1951), The Guess Who release These Eyes (`1969), Mozambique gained independence from Portugal (1975), and the Supreme Court upheld male-only draft registration (1981).

Night Sky, 6/25: Leo the Lion is mostly a constellation of late winter and spring. But he's not gone yet. As twilight ends look due west, somewhat low, for Regulus, his brightest and now lowest star: the forefoot of the Lion stick figure. The Sickle of Leo extends upper right from Regulus. The rest of the Lion's constellation figure runs upper left from there for a couple of fist-widths, to his tail star Denebola, the highest. He'll soon be treading offstage into the sunset. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Image of the Week: Sha'Carri Richardson qualified for the US Olympic team. She won in the 100 meter.

This Week: Saturday, June 26 – Harry Potter Day & National Canoe Day & Same Sex Marriage Day

Sunday, June 27 – Celebrate Joy Day & Descendants Day & IWW Day

Night Sky, 6/27: On the eastern side of the sky, the big Summer Triangle holds sway after dark. Its top star is Vega, the brightest in all the east. The brightest to Vega's lower left is Deneb. Farther to Vega's lower right is Altair. The Milky Way (if you have a dark sky) runs a little inside the Triangle's lower edge.

Monday, June28 – National Logistics Day & Please Take My Children To Work Day

Tuesday, June 29 – International Day of the Tropics & World Camera Day & International Mud Day

Wednesday, June 30 – Asteroid Day & National Meteor Watch Day & NOW (National Organization for Women) Day

Night Sky, 6/30: Venus (in Gemini) shines low in the west-northwest during twilight. Mars (in Cancer) glows very modestly in late twilight low in the west-northwest, upper left of Venus. Jupiter and Saturn (in Aquarius and Capricornus, respectively) rise in the middle of the night, Jupiter about an hour after Saturn. Uranus (in Aries) is low in the east just before dawn begins. Neptune (in Aquarius 20° east of Jupiter) is well up in the southeast before dawn.

Thursday, July 1 – Canada Day & Medicare Birthday & Zip Code Day

My son left me a note saying he was going to the Lieberry. Later, when I told him he had misspelled Library, he said, “No, I meant I was going to the fiction section.” / A trained librarian is a powerful search engine with a heart. --Sarah McIntyre

..........Opp de doop, the world a merry-go-round.........Peter Lind Hayes …..The Little Tune That Ran Away

^^ Custer's Last Stand was an armed engagement between combined forces of the Lakota, Northern Cheyenne, and Arapoho tribe and the 7^th Cavalry Regiment of the US Army.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: How To Workk From Home wth Yor Chil,d SittiNG ON Yoour/ Lappppppp --Submitted by McSweeney's

Moonbeam: All good work requires self-revelation. --Sidney Lumet

Video of the Week: Peter Lind Hayes and his wife Mary Healy singing Be Kind To Your Web Footed Friends My mother used to sing this song – but only the last chorus.

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Vintner Ollie stomping grapes

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: President Biden and Vladimir Putin met in Geneva on Wednesday for another important summit where the U.S. and Russia ask each other to stop doing something. And then they both laugh and keep doing that thing. As always, these summits aren't about issues but stagecraft and dominance displays. Biden scheduled his arrival after Putin, so Putin couldn't keep him waiting, then very deliberately put out his hand and made Putin step forward to shake it, right? In response, Putin then urinated on Air Force One. And both of them inflated their throat pouches to appear larger. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 2/19/21

If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear. --George Orwell

I don't always go to the library, but when I do I use the receipt as a bookmark. / In the nonstop tsunami of global information, librarians provide us with floaties and teach us to swim. --Linton Weeks

..........A day I hear a different story.........Wham with George Michael …..Wake Me Up Before You Go-go

^^^ The battle took place along the Little Bighorn River in the Crow Indian Reservation in southeastern Montana Territory. It is in the southeast corner of Montana.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Walmart has Father's Day cards in packs of 5. --Submitted by INRITH

Weird Word of the Week: Ostrobogulous – something weird peculiarity if it is mildly risqué, indecent, or pornographic. World Wide Words: Ostrobogulous

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean scuff marks from shoes. Spray a little Alberto VO5 Hair Spray on the mark and rub forcefully with a towel or washcloth. Alberto VO5® Hair Spray: Wacky Uses

Puzzle of the Week: This week's challenge comes from listener Sandy Weisz, of Chicago. Name a famous woman in American history with a three-part name. Change one letter in her first name to a double letter. The resulting first and second parts of her name form the first and last names of a famous athlete. And the last part of the woman's name is a major rival of that athlete. Who are these people? --NPR Sunday Puzzle 6/20/21

So many people come in and don't know the name or the author but they remember the cover was blue and it was really thick. Should we start shelving books by color and size? / Whatever the cost of our libraries, the price is cheap compared to that of an ignorant nation. --Walter Cronkite

...........You know what? In second gear this rod will clock at eighty.........Peter Lind Hayes …..I Want To Be A Car

^^^^ The U.S. 7th Cavalry, a force of 700 men, suffered a major defeat while commanded by Lieutenant Colonel George Armstrong Custer. Five of the 7th Cavalry's twelve companies were annihilated and Custer was killed, as were two of his brothers, a nephew, and a brother-in-law. The total U.S. casualty count included 274 dead and 49 severely wounded.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I got myself a seniors' GPS. Not only does it tell me how to get to my destination, it tells me why I wanted to go there.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Villicon 2021 (26, Orlando, FL) Unleash Your Darker Side Villicon 2021 Information | SciFiCons.com

Actual Science Conference of the Week: NanoMatEn 2021 (23-25, Paris, France) Meet the potential future challenges that humankind will face... NanoMaterials for Energy & Environment, NanoMatEn 2021 (setcor.org) ~~One wonders how many of those challenges will be caused by science.

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Lady Bird Johnson --> Larry Bird, (Magic) Johnson

During the pandemic our library was open by appointment only. I tried to get in four times but they were overbooked. / When in doubt, go to the library. --J K Rowling

..........Let the dreamers wake the nation.........Carly Simon …..Let The River Run

^^^^^ The engagement was one in a series of battles and negotiations between Plains Indians and US forces over control of Western territory, collectively known as the Sioux Wars.

Quote of the Week: Binden and Putin met at this Swiss estate. You may recognize it as the haunted asylum in every horror movie. --Jimmy Fallon Here's a picture.

Extreme Topiary of the Week:

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: There's a new guy at work called Wayne Bruce and I said “Ah, my old nemesis ManBat” and nobody got it. Honestly, I am wasted here. --Submitted by INRITH

Today's Peace of History, June 25, 1903: Marie Curie successfully defended her doctoral thesis on radioactive substances becoming the first woman in France to receive a doctoral degree.

I have a cousin who is a librarian. He decided he needed to be more “street” so he formed a gang but it turned into a book club. / I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of a library. --Jorge Luis Borges

..........Why'd you have to be so good.........Carly Simon …..Nobody Does It Better

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle June 25, 2021, ePistle Bibliotek. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/

Moonbeam: If you're lucky you live long enough to see the bad results of your good ideas. --Robert Venturi

Cost of War:

As of 6/24/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,141,463,900,815.

As of 6/17/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,139,607,915,823.

As of 6/24/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,044,286,109,218.

As of 6/17/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,043,024,855,398.

As of 6/24/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $862,473,895,768.

As of 6/17/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $860,888,566,411.

As of 6/24/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $351,653.141,769.

As of 6/17/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $351,292,835,858.

As of 6/24/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,399,877,901,927.

As of 6/17/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,394,814,003,758.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

In a time of deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act. --George Orwell

Famous Last Words: ...the fire never passes through. --Wotan The Valkyries

..........I bet you think this song is about you.........Carly Simon …..You're So Vain

People become librarians because they know too much. / Google can bring you back 100,000 answers, a librarian can bring you back the right one. --Neil Gaiman

May you practice Peace

And learn Joy

prairie mama

christine

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