Grilled ePistle

 Famous First Words: Wiegenlied Guten Abend Lullaby Johannes Brahms

May is National Barbecue Month. Nobody throws a BBQ as good as me. My record is 21 feet. / You know that mouth-watering sensation you get when you're grilling steak on the BBQ? Ever wonder if vegans get that when they mow the lawn?

..........desperately remained at home..........Janis Ian …..At Seventeen

He who stops being better stops being good. --Oliver Cromwell

It is a beautiful Friday morning. The sun adorns a cloudy sky crowded with fluffy white clouds against an azure blue background. A breeze gently coaxes the tree branches into motion for an early morning ballet. The 59°F temperature is welcoming and friendly. Birds are chirping, motors are revving, and a lawn mower in the distance is working. In my own backyard there are birds flitting about looking for heaven knows what. The world smells of new growth and spring. I am sitting at my desk watching through the window; a squirrel is running across the fence, then up the tree and gone from sight. I am sipping Mother's Day Coffee (An unnamed blend described as dark chocolate nutty and bold – seems pretty accurate – the I received for Mother's Day) and watching the wildlife romp around my patio. What a gorgeous morning.

Hope your weekend is spicy and delicious, ePistliers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: What do you mean masks aren't effective? I haven't been told to smile by a man in over a year. --Submitted by ab of kc

What's better than a vegan BBQ? Literally anything. / I went to a vegan BBQ last week. I thought the Vegan was overcooked.

..........Let me tell you a story..........Janis Ian …..Lover's Lullaby

Trivia Questions: Happy Mother's Day !

^ What is the oldest recorded Mother festival?

^^ Any idea who held the first Mother's Day celebrations in the US.

^^^ When or why did Mother's Day become an “official” day?

^^^^ Know when Canada celebrates Mother's Day?

^^^^^ About what percentage of mother's are expected to receive jewelry as a gift this Mother's Day?

Big Hello: Sho'daache – Crow https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: We've waited 20 years to see a Cheney punished for lying and instead we get a Cheney punished for not lying. --John Fugelsang

Max Picture of the Week: A boy and his cast in the tunnel.

Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 99.9% of books about Time Management are returned late. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

My librarian friend's favorite thing to bring to a BBQ is shush kebabs. / My Italian neighbor had to give up BBQ because the spaghetti kept falling through the grill.

..........Nothing is forever young – I'm not done..........Janis Ian …..This Train Still Runs

Moonbeam: Grow old with me, the best is yet to be. --Robert Browning

Meditation Seed of the Week: Are eyebrows considered facial hair?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The Wizard of Oz. (8-10 pm, TCM) –Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first person she meets and then teams up with three strangers to kill again. --Submitted by HPF

Week of the Week: It's National Tourism Week (2-7): Scientists have opened a dimensional rift in one of NYC's most popular tourist spots. They call it Time Squared / A tourist on the London Underground asked how he could get to Heathrow via Barking. So I pointed at a map and woofed.

I went to a vegetarian BBQ. They smoked weed. / You can always tell if the BBQ was smoked with dogwood; just check the bark.

..........Preachers of equality, think they believe it..........Janis Ian …..Society's Child

^ The earliest Mother's Day celebrations can be traced back to the spring celebrations of ancient Greece in honor of Rhea, the Mother of God.

Almanac: It is Friday, May 7, 2021. The moon will be new next Monday and moves from Pisces to Aries today. It is Beaufort Scale (Wind) Day, Cosmopolitan Day (the drink), Cystinosis Awareness Day, National Barrier Awareness Day, and Worldwide Day of Genital Autonomy. Because it is the first Friday it is International Space Day, School Lunch Hero Day, and Tuba Day. And because it is the Friday before Mother's Day it is also Child Care Provider Day, Military Spouse Appreciation Day, National Public Gardens Day, and National Child Care Provider Appreciation Day.

Among those born on this day were Robert Browning (18121), Varina Howell Davis (1826), Johannes Brahms (1833), Peter Illyich Tchaikovsky (1840), Rabindranath Tagore (1861), Gabby Hayes (George, 1885), Archibald MacLeish (1892), Josip Broz Tito (1892), Cary Cooper (1901), Eva Perón (Evita Duarte, 1919), Darren McGavin (1922), Anne Baxter (1923), Gene Wolfe (Rodman, 1931), Johnny Unitas (1933), Willard Scott (1934), John Heard (1944), Janis Ian (1950), and Traci Lords (1968).

On May seventh Joan of Arc broke the English siege of Orléans (1429), the Congress of Cologne formed (Netherlands, 1579), the Theatre Royal opened (Drury Lane, 1663), William Penn began monthly meetings with negroes advocating emancipation (1700), the first Inaugural Ball was held (NYC, 1789 ~~It was held one week after the inauguration itself), the Indiana Territory was organized (1800), Beethoven's 9th premiered (1824), Greece became an independent republic (1832), the American Medical Association was organized (1847), black citizens staged ride-ins to protest segregation (New Orleans, 1867), the plan for the Pulitzer Prizes was approved (1912), the US Congress established Mother's Day (1914), Glenn Wright made an unassisted triple play (Pirates, 1925), Glenn Miller recorded Chattanooga Choo Choo (1941), the West Europe Union was established (1955), and the US nuked Christmas Island (atmospheric test, 1962).

Night Sky, 5/7: Summer is still seven weeks away, but the Summer Triangle is beginning to make its appearance in the east, one star after another. The first in view is bright Vega. It's already visible low in the northeast as twilight fades. Next up is Deneb, lower left of Vega by a little more than two fists at arm's length. Deneb takes about an hour to appear after Vega does, depending on your latitude. The third corner of the triangle is Altair, which shows up far to their lower right by midnight. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Son of Meditation Seed of the Week: Why is it that suddenly everything is lavender scented. Soap, shampoo, men's deodorant Did Bulgaria have a bumper year?

Image of the Week: This is a picture of my mother, I do not know when or where it was taken.

This Week: Saturday, May 8 – American Indian Day & Mother Ocean Day & National Archery Day

Sunday, May 9 - Mother's Day & Rural Life Sunday (aka Rogation Sunday)

This is the weekend of the O Henry Pun-Off in Austin, Texas

Monday, May 10 – Clean Your Room Day & National Hamster Day & National Golf Day

Night Sky, 5/10: The moon will be new at 6:59 pm and will be in Taurus.

Tuesday, May 11 – Eat What You Want Day & National Foam Rolling Day & Root Canal Appreciation Day

Wednesday, May 12 – Eid-Al-Fitr & International Nurses Day & Limerick Day

Night Sky, 5/12: Tonight the Moon and Venus stand in conjunction (5:03 pm CDT)

Thursday, May 13 – Eid-Al-Fitr & Frog Jumping Day & Hummus Day

The BBQ pun is a meataphor. / American BBQ is very good, but Korean BBQ has more Seoul.

..........Anonymous, autonomous..........Janis Ian …..Fly Too High

^^ Early "Mother's Day" in the US was mostly recognized by women's peace groups. An early activity was the meeting of groups of mothers whose sons had served or died on opposite sides of the American Civil War. There were local celebrations in the 1870s and the 1880s, but nothing to speak of on a state or national basis. In 1868 Ann Jarvis created a committee to establish a "Mother's Friendship Day" whose purpose was "to reunite families that had been divided during the Civil War", and she wanted to expand it into an annual memorial for mothers, but she died in 1905 before the celebration became popular.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I like when people who think the 50s were the good old days call you a communist for endorsing economic policies Eisenhower used to make the 50s the good old days. --John Fugelsang --Submitted by bd of ny

Moonbeam: There is no limit to stupidity. -Space itself is said to be bounded by its own curvature, but stupidity continues beyond infinity. --Gene Wolfe

Late Night Snacks of the Week: Honestly, in these divided times, it’s just great to see all Americans coming together to fail at something so easily achievable, Thanks to the many people who refuse to take a life-saving vaccine, experts now think that coronavirus is basically going to become one of those antivirus pop-ups, you know? We’re going to minimize it but we’ll never really delete it. --Trevor Noah / Giulani: I’m no legal expert, but I’m pretty sure attorney-client privilege goes away when you read the documents out loud on national television. It’s like the dumb, criminal version of your grandma reading you a funny meme she found on Facebook.--Seth Meyers / The Oscars: How can something so woke put so many people to sleep? --Jimmy Kimmel

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Mountain man Ollie and mom

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: "Citizen Kane" is no longer the greatest movie ever made. That title, according to the review aggregator site Rotten Tomatoes, is now bestowed on "Paddington 2." Film purists are upset. They say that since "Paddington 2" is, of course, a sequel, the fair comparison should be to "Citizen Kane 2: The Legend Of Rosebud's Gold" (ph). --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 5/1/21

The real strong have no need to prove it to the phonies. --Charles Manson

If Fred Durst opened a BBQ restaurant, would he call it Limp Brisket? / At the BBQ I was in charge of sides. I was going to bake potatoes but the plans got foiled.

..........Now am I humble, who once was proud..........Janis Ian …..Light a Light

^^^ In 1904 Frank E Hering of the Fraternal Order of Eagles, made the first recorded public plea for "a national day to honor mothers". It was not until 1914 that President Woodrow Wilson signed the orders that made Mother's Day a national holiday in the United States, due largely to the continued efforts of Anna Jarvis (daughter of Ann Jarvis). She asked that white carnations be the official mother's day symbol.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Maybe I'm happy but asymptomatic. --Submitted by MMS

Weird Word of the Week: Ishkabibble – Dismissive slang expression. It looks and sounds Yiddish (nish gefidlt, nicht gefiedelt) World Wide Words: Ishkabibble

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Laminate recipe cards. Spray with Alberto VO5 hair spray to give the cards a protective gloss. Alberto VO5® Hair Spray: Wacky Uses

Puzzle of the Week: This challenge came from listener Peter Gordon of Great Neck, N.Y. Think of a person in the entertainment industry (5,4). The first name and last name each have at least two consonants and two vowels. All the consonants in each name come at the start, and all the vowels come at the end. The letter "y" is not used. Who is this famous person? --NPR Sunday Puzzle 5/1/21

My neighbor invited me for BBQ but it turned out to be a line of Barbie dolls. / I don't want to say my dad was a bad cook, but he used to ask, “how would you like your steak...overcooked, burned to a crisp, or completely incinerated”?

...........People lust for fame like athletes in a game..........Janis Ian …..Stars

^^^^ In Canada we celebrate Mothers Day on the same day as the United States, the second Sunday of every May.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When someone asks me if I'm seeing anyone, I automatically assume they're talking about a psychiatrist. --Submitted by INRITH

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: AtomaCon 2021 (7-9, North Charleston, SC) ...a multi-genre, panel driven convention AtomaCon

Actual Science Joke of the Week: International Conference on Space Operations (SpaceOps): 3-7, Cape Town, South Africa) -addressing state-of-the-art operation principles SpaceOps (May 2021), International Conference on Space Operations, Cape Town South Africa - Conference (10times.com)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Chloe Zhao ~~I had never heard of her.

The secret to great BBQ is to have KC Masterpiece on speed dial. / My BBQ comes with a little kick, especially if you insult my cooking.

..........Wonderous things to see and be done..........Janis Ian …..Hair of Spun Gold

^^^^^ 36% of Americans plan to buy their mom jewelry. However, flowers still remain the most popular gift options with 69%.

Recreating Famous Movie Characters With Anything You Can Find of the Week:

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Rack Slabbath BBQ (A real rib house: Rack Slabbath BBQ - Barbecue, Catering, Caterer )

Today's Peace of History, May 7, 1984: American veterans of the Vietnam War reached a $180 million out-of-court settlement with 7 chemical companies in a class-action suit against the herbicide Agent Orange. ~~Apparently every person who had any contact with Agent Orange has diabetes.

We grill out so often, my husband's blood test came back: 60% propane and 20% BBQ sauce. / When we lived in Colorado we used to fire up the grill right after we shoveled a foot of snow off the deck.

..........Teach you how before we're done..........Janis Ian …..When The Party's Over

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle May 7, 2021, Grilled ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: What is more important to a library than anything else – than everything else – is the fact that it exists. --Archibald MacLeish

Cost of War:

As of 5/6/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,127,648,786,691.

As of 4/29/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,125,652,358,929.

As of 5/6/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,034,897,068,147

As of 4/29/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,033,540,501,779.

As of 5/6/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $850,670,729,706.

As of 4/29/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $848,965,283,317.

As of 5/6/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $348,970,547,946.

As of 4/29/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $348,583,036,396.

As of 5/6/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,362,188,765,083.

As of 4/29/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,356,742,156,094.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Even if a unity of faith is not possible, a unity of love is. --Hans Urs von Balthasar

Famous Last Words: Blow on the coal of the heart and we'll know...We'll know... Archibald MacLeish JB

..........Then we made our peace..........Janis Ian …..Water Colors

May you always be surrounded by good friends and better BBQ. / I installed a treadmill to the front of my BBQ grill. It's the most exercise I've gotten in years.

May Peace infuse your days

And Joy marinade your nights

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Wal-lie's ePistle

 Famous First Words: In the name of their peoples... Charter, Organization of American States

Wild Walpurgis to you all! Walpurgis (April 30) and Beltane (May 1) were once considered the last day of winter and the first day of summer. It was believed that witches rode through the skies on this night for reasons no one ever stated. In some countries Walpurgis is celebrated with wine and satire. --Summer bachelors, like summer breezes, are never as cool as they pretend to be. --Nora Ephron / Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

..........Seein' things I may never see again..........Willie Nelson …..On The Road Again

I must say that "Give Peace a Chance" has always seemed to me to be sensible advice. --Pierre Trudeau

It is a gorgeous Friday morning. The sky is a clear blue without clouds. No breeze moves the willow branches nor cools the 55°F temperature. The yard must contain 30 shades of green from nearly-yellow chartreuse to almost-black forest. Birdsong and dog barks recite matins; not even a car motor intrudes on today's quietness. Even Puck does his business and comes back inside without greeting Bruno or shouting warnings to squirrels. I busy myself with morning chores before I inhale the steam coming from my cup of rich, sweetened decaf and it clears my sinuses of pollen and dust. I sit down at my computer still staring out the window into the beauty that is this day. I take a cautious drink and think about you. What a great morning.

Hope your weekend is a joy ride on your favorite broom, ePistliers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad I let her draw things on my body. I give her a shoulder to crayon. --Submitted by HPF

He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom. --P.G. Wodehouse / Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: if you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes. --Stephen Colbert / I make mistakes; I'll be the second one to admit it. --Jean Kerr

..........let 'em be doctor and lawyers and such.........Willie Nelson …..Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys

Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday, Ice Cream Cone

^ What is the current consensus about when the first ice cream cone was sold?

^^ What is the earliest mention of cones for ice cream in literature?

^^^ What and When is Free Cone Day?

^^^^ How many of the 11 kinds of cones can you name?

^^^^^ What do you know about the world's largest ice cream cone?

Big Hello: Bok – Croatian https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Never give up on your dreams. Keep sleeping. --Submitted by sb of ar

Max Picture of the Week: Engineer turned botanist Max demonstrates his rolling foliage

Fake Library Statistic of the Week: Every library has that one mug that you never see anyone use but is always in a different spot away from the break room https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Welcome to Hell. Here's your accordion. --Gary Larson / Can you identify yourself? Certainly. I'd know me anywhere. --Terry Pratchett / The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it. --Joan Rivers

..........If we could start anew, I wouldn't hesitate..........Bobby Vee …..Tears On My Pillow

Moonbeam: If people suspect their Cattle Bewitched, if they be great Cattle, make the twelfth house their ascendant, and the eleventh their twelfth house, and vary your Rules with Judgment. --William Lilly

Meditation Seed of the Week: Is reading on the toilet considered multitasking?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: God is a comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh. --Submitted by MMS

Week of the Week: Be Kind To Animals Week (2-7) --Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell? He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish. / What do you call an animal you keep in your car? A car pet ~~No, it is not all right to be nasty to animals the other 51 weeks.

Mysteries force a man to think, and so injure his health. --Edgar Allan Poe / Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice. --Ambrose Bierce / I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas? --Jean Kerr

..........I'm sorry, I was blind.........Willie Nelson …..You Were Always On My Mind

^ Ice cream cones were invented at the 1904 World’s Fair in St. Louis, Missouri by concessions vendors as a way for people to eat ice cream easily while they enjoyed the fair...or an ice cream vendor ran out of bowls and made a deal with a pancake vendor.

Almanac: It is Friday, April 30, 2021. The moon will be at third-quarter on Monday and is in Capricorn. It is National Animal Advocacy Day, National Bubble Tea Day, National Honesty Day, National Military Brats Day, National Prepareathon Day, National Raisin Day, Spank Out Day - USA, and Walpurgis Night. Because it is the last Friday it is also National Teach Children to Save Day and Undiagnosed Children's Awareness Day.

Among those born on this day were William Lilly (1602), Jean-Baptiste de la Salle (1651), Rosalie Amstein (1846), Indrid Einarsson (1851), Queen Juliana (1909), Eve Arden (1912), Robert Shaw (1916), Al Lewis (1923), Cloris Leachman (1926), Edmund Cooper (1926), Willie Nelson (1933), Larry Niven (1938), Bobby Vee (1943), Jill Clayburgh (1944), Annie Dillard (1945), Johnny Galecki (1975), and Kirsten Dunst (1982).

On April thirith the brightest supernova in history was observed (1006), The Treaty of Westminster was signed (England & France, 1527), Jews were expelled from France (1563), Congreve's Love for Love premiered (London, 1695), the Treaty of Vienna was signed (Emperor Charles VI & King Philip IV, 1725), Washington was inaugurated (1789), the Department of the Navy was established (1798), Nicaragua declared independence from the Central American Federation (1838), San Jose State University formed (1857), Lincoln ordered federal troops to evacuate Indian Territory (1861), New York became the first state to charge a hunting licence fee (1864), the Boston Pops Orchestra was established (1885), the US annexed Hawaii (1900), the ice cream cone debuted (1904), the World Congress for Women's Rights concluded (Istanbul, 1935), television was demonstrated (1939), the charter for the Organization of American States was signed (Bogota, 1948), Mr Potato Head became the first toy advertised on television (1952), Fidel Castro received the Lenin-Peace Prize (1961), the US invaded Cambodia (1970), Haldeman and Ehrlichman resigned from the Nixon administration (1973), and Queen Juliana abdicated and Queen Beatrix ascended the throne of the Netherlands (1980).

Night Sky, 4/30: Face north just after nightfall, look very high, and you'll find the Pointers, the end stars of the Big Dipper's bowl, on the meridian pointing toward Polaris straight down below. From the Pointers to Polaris is about three fists at arm's length.. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Image of the Week: Puck refusing to show off his home executed haircut.

This Week: Saturday, May 1 – Beltane & Global Love Day & Hug Your Cat Day & Law Day & May Day

Sunday, May 2 – International Bereaved Mothers' Day & Lemonade Day & Pascha & World Tuna Day

Night Sky, 5/2: Even though May is here, wintry Sirius still twinkles very low in the west-southwest at the end of twilight. It sets soon after. How much longer into the spring can you keep Sirius in view? The farther north you are, the sooner Sirius is gone for the season.

Monday, May 3 – Garden Meditation Day & Lumpy Rug Day & Public Radio Day & Wild Koala Day

Tuesday, May 4 – Bird Day & Intergalactic Star Wars Day & National Teacher Day & World Give Day

Wednesday, May 5 – African World Heritage Day & Cartoonists Day & Cinco de Mayo & National Astronaut Day

Night Sky, 5/5: Eta Aquarids Meteor Shower: In the predawn hours of May 6, observers get the chance to spot the Eta Aquarids at their peak. The maximum rate for shooting stars in a perfectly clear sky will be about 40 to 50 per hour, according to Cooke. These fast meteors travel across the sky at about 42 miles (67 kilometers) per second

Thursday, May 6 – National Children's Mental Health Day & National Day of Prayer & National Day of Reason

Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman. --Oscar Wilde / People who smile while they are alone used to be called insane, until we invented smartphones and social media. --Mokokoma Mokhonoana / It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows. --Erma Bombeck

..........Bluebirds singin' a song.........Willie Nelson …..Blues Skies

^^ During the 1770s, ice cream was referred to as iced puddings or ice cream puddings. The cones used were referred to as wafers. During this period, wafers were considered as “stomach settlers” and were served at the end to the meal to calm digestion. They eventually became luxurious treats and were an important element of the dessert course. When rolled into “funnels” or “cornucopias,” they could be filled with fruit pastes, creams, and iced puddings.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I saw a microbiologist today. He was much bigger than I expected. --Submitted by INRITH

Moonbeam: Learning without piety produces a proud device; piety without learning produces a useless one.--Jean-Baptiste de La Salle

Late Night Snacks of the Week: Earth Day is like prom in that every year has a theme This year’s being “Restore Our Earth”. Yes, we have to, or pretty soon the theme’s gonna be ‘Enchantment Under the Sea’ --Stephen Colbert / The holiday started “with very lofty goals, and it kinda turned into ‘guys, please, just for one day try not to light garbage on or near a panda bear, OK?’ --Jimmy Kimmel / America can't be racist because it elected two Black people who half the country hates for reasons they can't quite put their finger on. --Trevor Noah

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie is King of the World – or at least Seattle

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: The trend in post-pandemic dating, we are told, will be, quote, "honesty bombing." And that's being upfront and honest about everything right away because we now know after the pandemic, there's just no more time to waste screwing around. If you date - if you go on a date post-pandemic, expect the person to open with, right, I don't care about the "Avengers" movies or sports. I worry about becoming my mother, and I will. And I load the dishwasher all wrong. Now, you go. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 4/24/21

We should aim for peaceful coexistence at least and trans-cultural synergy at best. --Nayef Al-Rodan

An honest politician is an oxymoron. --Mark Twain / I suppose that in no educational institution can one become an educated person. --Mikhail Bulgakov / Brevity is the soul of lingerie. --Dorothy Parker

..........Just and old sweet song.........Willie Nelson …..Georgia On My Mind

^^^ In honor of Free Cone Day on Tuesday, March 15, participating Dairy Queen and DQ Grill & Chill locations across the United States will offer a free small vanilla soft-serve cone. Ben & Jerry also have a free cone day but they have postponed it in 2021 because of COVID-19.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If the news is fake, imagine how bad history is. --Submitted by ag of ks

Weird Word of the Week: Haruspex – a priest or priestess of ancient Rome who interpreted omens by inspecting the entrails of sacrificial animals. World Wide Words: Haruspex

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Thread a needle. Stiffen the end of the thread with Alberto V05 Hair Spray so it can be easily poked through the eye of a needle. Alberto VO5® Hair Spray: Wacky Uses

Puzzle of the Week: This challenge came from listener Theodore Regan, of Scituate, Mass. Name a famous actor — 4 letters in the first name, 7 letters in the last. You can change the first letter of the actor's first name to name a bird. And you can change the first letter of the actor's last name to name a mammal. Who's the actor?

A girl with brains ought to do something with them beside think. --Anita Loos / The problem with winter sports is that –follow me closely here – they generally take place in the winter. --Dave Barry / There are two million interesting people in New York and only eighty-eight in Los Angeles. --Neil Simon

...........Why do I let myself worry.........Willie Nelson …..Crazy

^^^^ Kinds of Cones: 1) Cake cones 2)Waffle Cones 3) Sugar Cones 4) Pretzel Cones 5) Waffle Bowls 6) Chocolate Dipped Cones 7) Kid Cones 8) Twin Cones 9) Jacketed Cones 10) Ice Cream Sandwich Wafers 11) Gluten Free Cones

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Even if you're fully vaccinated, the CDC still recommends not listening to men with no medical qualifications on any subject related to reproductive healthcare. --Kate Kelly --Submitted by MMS

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Metrotham Con 2021 (30-2) Chattanooga, TN “Oh the Horror”. HOME | Metrotham Con

Actual Science Convention of the Week: International Congress on Cell Science and Molecular Biology (4/1-2, San Juan, PR) current technology, techniques and solutions in Cell Science and Molecular Biology International Congress on Cell Science and Molecular Biology (worldresearchsociety.com)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Mark Ruffalo – Lark, Buffalo

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. --H L Mencken / Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. --Robert Benchley / If all the girls attending the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be surprised. --Dorothy Parker

..........That's a question I'm still unable to answer..........Bobby Vee …..How Many Tears

^^^^^ The world record for the largest ice cream cone ever made was achieved in 2015 in Norway with a cone over 10 feet high!

Ultimate Talk Like Shakespeare Day Video That Somehow Didn't Make It Into Willie's ePistle of the Week: Hamlet :: To Be or NOT To Be - that IS the question?! - Toby Simkin ★ Broadway

Extreme Topiary of the Week:

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I remember sitting in psychology class learning about Pavlov, thinking those stupid dogs, and then the bell went and we all had lunch. --Gary Delaney --Submitted by sd of ks

Today's Peace of History, April 30, 1917: The American Friends Service Committee was founded to provide young Quakers and other conscientious objectors the opportunity to serve those in need as an alternative to military service in what was later known as World War I. They worked with British Friends assisting refugees from that conflict.

I worship the quicksand he walks in. --Art Buchwald / After being turned down by numerous publishers, he had decided to write for posterity. --George Ade / Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. --Phyllis Diller

..........The winds of change are always blowing.........Willie Nelson …..To All The Girls I've Loved Before

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle April 30, 2021, Wal-lie's ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: Spend the afternoon. You can't take it with you. --Annie Dillard

Cost of War:

• As of 4/29/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,125,652,358,929.

• As of 4/22/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,123,671,746,795.

• As of 4/29/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,033,540,501,779.

• As of 4/22/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,032,194,531,194.

• As of 4/29/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $848,965,283,317.

• As of 4/22/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $847,273,211,063.

• As of 4/29/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $348,583,036,396.

• As of 4/22/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $348,198,474,550.

• As of 4/29/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,356,742,156,094.

• As of 4/22/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,351,338,862,510.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Peace is the one condition of survival in this nuclear age. --Adlai Stevenson

Famous Last Words: In admiring me, you misplace the novelty. --William Congreve Love For Love

..........Only memories remain.........Willie Nelson …..Blue Eyes Cryin' in the Rain

Frisbeetariansim is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there. --George Carlin / Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. --Don Marquis / You know how sometimes you lie in bed at night and think, “What if the law of gravity just wears out and lets go and I drift into space?” Does that ever make you anxious? --Elaine May

May Peace inform your days

And Joy flood your nights

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Willie's ePistle

 Famous First Words: Honi soit qui mal y pense (Middle French) Shame on him who thinks evil of it. --Motto of the Order of the Garter.

Happy Birthday, Bill... I do desire we may be better strangers. --Shakespeare (As You Like It) / Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon! --Shakespeare (Timon of Athens)

..........So you think twenty-one is going to be a good year...........The Who …..1921

In peace there's nothing so becomes a man as modesty and humility. --William Shakespeare

It is a warmish (48°F) but cloudy Friday morning. The sky is not visible through the slate gray shelf which is adorned with puffy white wisps. There is little wind and the willow branches are quite lazy as they sway. Birds of various songs are discussing today's plans and a dog is barking somewhere in the distance. A fat robin sits on the fence surveying the yard and listening to the chatter. I sit in my room, Puck at my feet, watching the day begin and sipping sweet, creamy decaf. The whole house smells of brewing coffee and bath soap, in other words, of morning. A gust of wind or a leaping squirrel has made a single branch of Bruno's tree shake as if the whole tree is laughing at the morning...and I understand why.

Hope your weekend is “better than figs”, ePistliers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My wife and I have taken four photos together in the last two years, meanwhile we have ninety three photos of our dog sleeping since last week. --Submitted by #RHOZ

Friendship is constant in all other things save in the office and affairs of love. --Shakespeare (Much Ado About Nothing) / Most friendship is feigning, most loving is folly. --Shakespeare (As You Like It)

..........He's never been more alive...........The Who …..The Acid Queen

Trivia Questions: It is the 53^rd anniversary of the student take-over of Columbia University. Here's a hard quiz.

^ Know what caused the initial protest?

^^ Remember any of the epithets used to describe the situation?

^^^ Which campus organizations planned the protest?

^^^^ What was the Doonesbury character who was based on one of the protest leaders?

^^^^^ How did it work out?

Big Hello: Tanisi (ᑕᓂᓯ) - Cree https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It is an old error of man to forget to put quotation marks where he borrows from a woman's brain. --Anna Garlin Spencer --Submitted by MMS (Marginal Mennonite Society)

Max Picture of the Week: Max the share-ee

Fake Library Statistic of the Week: At any given moment 12% of librarians are hiding in the box drop. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Love sought, is good; but given unsought, is better. --Shakespeare (Twelfth Night) / There's beggary in the love that can be reckoned --Shakespeare (Antony & Cleopatra)

..........That deaf, dumb and blind kid sure plays a mean pinball...........The Who …..Pinball Wizard

Moonbeam: My job is to paint what I see, not what I know. --J M W Turner

Meditation Seed of the Week: What/Who did you make better today?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If I had to choose between bacon and coffee, I would slap the person who is making me choose. --Submitted by INRITH

Weekend of the Week: American Crossword Puzzle Days (23-25) -- The clue is “overloaded postman” and the number of letter is a sackful. / The solution to the toilet paper shortage is the same as the solution to a crossword puzzle...One square at a time.

Thou sodden-witted lord! Thou hast no more brain than I have in my elbows. --Shakespeare (Troilus & Cressida) / There is no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune. --Shakespeare (Henry IV, Part 1)

..........I'm your wicked Uncle Ernie...........The Who …..Fiddle About

^ The university had been expanding into the Morningside Heights neighborhood of Harlem at the expense of local housing and businesses for years. To placate the residents, Columbia proposed building a new gym to share with the community. Except the locals could access only 12 % of the gym and would be required to enter by the backdoor.

Almanac: It is Friday, April 23, 2021. The moon is full (Pink) tonight and is in Virgo. Content Creator Day, Day of Silence, English Language Day, English Muffin Day, Impossible Astronaut Day, Movie Theatre Day, National Lost Dog Awareness Day, Spanish Language Day, Talk Like Shakespeare Day, World Book & Copyright Day, and World Book Night. In Bermuda it is Peppercorn Day and in Turkey they celebrate National Sovereignty Day/Children's Day (1923).

Among those born on this day were Boris Godunov (1551), William Shakespeare (1564), Joseph Turner (1775), James Buchanan (1791), Stephen Douglas (1813), Max Planck (1858), Vladimir Nabokov (1899), Warren Spahn (1921), Shirley Temple Black (1928), George Steiner (1929), Estelle Harris (1936), Roy Orbison (1936), Lee Majors (1939), Sandra Dee (Alexandra Zuck, 1944), Bernadette Devlin (1947), Jan Hooks (1957), and John Oliver (1977).

On April twenty-third Jesus was crucified (according to Isaac Newton, 34), the first English order of knighthood was founded (Order of the Garter, 1348), the Boston Latin School was founded becoming the first US public institution (1635), Canada issued its first postage stamps (1851), the American Academy of Arts and Letters formed (1904), The North Sea Accords were signed (Denmark, Germany, England, France, the Netherlands, & Sweden, 1908), The National Urban League formed (1918), Bartok's 2nd Concerto for violin premiered (1939), US Supreme court ended race segregation on buses (1956), Ranger 4 became the first US satellite to reach the moon (1962), Baldwin's Blues for Mr Charlie premiered (1964), the United Methodist Church formed (1968), student strike seized the administrative offices at Columbia University (1968), New Coke debuted (1985), and Tommy premiered (1993).

Night Sky, 4/23: The Arch of Spring. As night descends, look high in the west for Pollux and Castor lined up almost horizontally depending on your latitude. These two stars, the heads of the Gemini twins, form the top of the enormous Arch of Spring. To their lower left is Procyon, the left end of the Arch. Farther to their lower right is the other end, formed by Menkalinan (Beta Aurigae) and then brilliant Capella. This spring the Arch has an intruder: little Mars. Tonight you'll find Mars the same distance lower right from the Castor-Pollux pair as it is lower left from Capella. The whole array sinks in the west through the evening. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Image of the Week: Liberty Hall, Lawrence Kansas

This Week: Saturday, April 24 – Eeyore's Birthday & International Sculpture Day & National Herb Day

Night Sky, 4/24: This evening Arcturus shines about three fists left of the Moon. And look below the Moon by hardly more than half that distance, and perhaps a bit left, to find Spica, the leading light of Virgo.

Sunday, April 25 – DNA Day & National Pet Parents Day & World Penguin Day

Monday, April 26 – Alien Day & Hug An Australian Day & National Pretzel Day & Audubon Day

Tuesday, April 27 – Babe Ruth Day & Morse Code Day & World Tapir Day

Wednesday, April 28 – Denim Day & Workers Memorial Day & International Guide Dogs Day

Night Sky, 4/28: Jupiter and Saturn (both in dim Capricornus) are low in the southeast just before and during early dawn. Jupiter grabs the eye at magnitude –2.1. Saturn glows a thirteenth as bright at magnitude +0.7. Catch Saturn a little more than a fist at arm's length to Jupiter's right or upper right before dawn grows too bright.

Thursday, April 29 – International Dance Day & Peace Rose Day & World Wish Day

Hanging and wiving goes by destiny. --Shakespeare (Merchant of Venice) / Get thee a good husband, and use him as he uses thee. --Shakespeare (All's Well That Ends Well)

..........Extra Extra! Read all about it...........The Who …..Miracle Cure

^^ Gym Crow, Gym Crow Door, Ivy Imperialism, Backdoor for Black Brothers

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The biggest change since Rodney King is the video quality. --Submitted by bu of ks

Moonbeam: Slavery cannot exist a day or an hour anywhere, unless it is supported by local police regulations. --Stephen Douglas

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie the sharer

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Yes. Subway is, believe it or not, the biggest restaurant chain in the country. And recently, they've closed more locations in the last year than any other restaurant, still leaving way too many locations. They apparently did very poorly during the pandemic, despite replacing their sneeze guard with an N95 guard. I guess during a pandemic, people just don't want a restaurant where the whole appeal is watching a stranger touch all of your food. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 4/17/21

A peace is of the nature of a conquest; for then both parties are subdued, and neither party loser. --William Shakespeare

Virginity breeds mites, much like a cheese. --Shakespeare (All's Well That Ends Well) / There live not three good men unhanged in England: and one of them is fat. --Shakespeare (Henry IV)

..........He hears but he cannot answer to your call...........The Who …..Go To The Mirror

^^^ Student Afro-American Society (SAS) and Students for a Democratic Society (SDS) were the organizers of the protest.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: People who claim that the most beautiful thing to watch is sleeping children have never watched their children wash the dishes. --Submitted by INRITH

Weird Word of the Week: Balter – To dance gracelessly, without particular art or skill, but perhaps with some enjoyment. --Middle English --Submitted by INRITH

It Ain't Easy Being Green Anecdote of the Week: I am slowing trying to find substitutes for the plastic I use in my life. So I decided to get a set of silicone lids that stretch over bowls, small plates, etc. thereby replacing tupperware and cheap throwaway imitation tupperware products. I couldn't find the lids in town so I ordered them. They arrived. In a small cardboard box...in wadded paper padding...in a smaller thin cardboard box...in a plastic bag. Accccck!

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Protect the wooden handles of tools. Spray the wood with a thin coat of Albert VO5 Hair Spray and let dry. The hair spray acts like shellac, preserving the wood. Alberto VO5® Hair Spray: Wacky Uses

Puzzle of the Week: Think of part of the body in seven letters. Add an "N" and rearrange all the letters to name two more parts of the body (none related to the original word). What body parts are these?

Mine eyes smell onions. --Shakespeare (All's Well That Ends Well) / Thine face is not worth sunburning. --Shakespeare (Henry V)

...........See me, feel me, touch me, heal me...........The Who …..Smash The Mirror

^^^^ Doonesbury's Megaphone Mark Slackmeyer was based on Mark Rudd, Columbia student, SDS National Secretary and Weather Underground founder.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Do British websites use biscuits? --Blondie Wasabi

Quote of the Week: ...hardhats are actually unisex. --Kamala Harris

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: iMAGICON (23-25, Minot, ND) A Stellar Time Home - iMagicon - Minot ND USA (imagiconnd.com)

Actual Science Convention of the Week: Physics, Dynamics and Molecular Modeling (22-23, NYC) Diverse Scholarly Events International Conference on Physics, Dynamics and Molecular Modeling ICPDMM in April 2021 in New York (waset.org)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: KNEECAP + N -> NAPE + NECK

Thy sin's not accidental, but a trade. --Shakespeare (Measure for Measure) / You Banbury Cheese! --Shakespeare (The Merry Wives of Windsor)

..........Loving life and becoming wise...........The Who …..Amazing Journey

^^^^^ Ultimately, the occupation gave students at Columbia more power, resulting in the creation of campus structures designed to give students a voice and a vote in university matters. Black students eventually were able to convince the university to add more black faculty members, admit more black students and create a Black Studies program. And in March 1969, the university dropped plans for the gym.

Recreating Famous Art With Anything You Can Find of the Week:

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Bigfoot saw me yesterday, but nobody believed him. --Submitted by INRITH

Today's Peace of History, April 23, 1971: In the final event of Operation Dewey Canyon III, nearly 1,000 Vietnam War veterans threw their combat ribbons, helmets, and uniforms on the U.S. Capitol steps along with toy weapons.

If manhood, good manhood, be not forgotten upon the face of the earth, then am I am shotten herring (a herring which has spawned). --Shakespeare (Henry IV)

..........Now the grown-ups have all gone away...........The Who …..Cousin Kevin

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle April 23, 2021, Willie's ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. ― Shirley Temple Black

Cost of War:

As of 4/22/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,123,671,746,795.

As of 4/15/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,121,748,656,588.

As of 4/22/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,032,194,531,194.

As of 4/15/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,030,887,508,037.

As of 4/22/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $847,273,211,063.

As of 4/15/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $845,629,816,753.

As of 4/22/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $348,198,474,550.

As of 4/15/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $347,824,931,391.

As of 4/22/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,351,338,862,510.

As of 4/15/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,346,091,659,622.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

...In thy right hand carry gentle peace, to silence envious tongues. --William Shakespeare

Famous Last Words: ...to the ends of the earth. --Jesus

..........Send your troubles dancing...........The Who …..Sensation ~~All of today's songs are from the rock opera Tommy by The Who

I was seeking for a fool when I found you. --Shakespeare (As You Like It) / Hell is empty and all the devils are here. --Shakespeare (The Tempest)

May Peace light upon thy back

And Joy be still upon you

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: