Famous
First Words: All power is inherent in the people...
Constitution of the State of Wyoming
July
is National Hot Dog Month!! Hot Dog Jokes? Frankly, I only relish
making them if I'm in a pickle. / And it's Be Nice to New Jersey Week
(5-11) New Jersey is The Garden State because Oil, Petroleum,
Nuclear Land Fill & Toxic Waste State didn't fit on the license
plate.
..........Good
morning, America, how are ya'.........Arlo Guthrie …..City of New
Orleans
The
Allied and Associated Powers being equally desirous that the war in
which they were successively involved...should be replaced by a firm,
just and durable Peace...
It
is a warm (76°F) Friday morning. The sky is a very pale blue with a
few clouds so thin that perhaps they are just paler blue spots. A
light breeze moves only the tips of the willow branches; it gives an
impression of tapping one's fingers to the rhythm of unheard music.
Birdsong is everywhere in every range of tone and scale; the backyard
is a kind of symphony. The humidity (80+%) makes the world smell of
damp soil and rain although there is no visual evidence of recent
precipitation. Puck and Bruno have a brief exchange and each retires
back towards their respective houses. I wonder what dogs discuss in
the morning hours. I retreat indoors while Puck remains outside. I
fix my coffee, ½ and ½ and one sweetener and sit down at my
computer, but before I can start writing I have to go fetch Puck in
because he is barking in the direction of absolutely no activity –
no dogs, no squirrels, no rabbits. Finally, I'm really ready to
write to you. Good morning...
Hope
your weekend out shines the Teddy Bears' Picnic by miles,
ePistliers..
First
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
On HGTV people can flip a whole house in a month. Meanwhile, I've
been “getting read to vacuum” for a week now. --Submitted by
Mommy Needs
Vodka
The
very best way to enjoy a hot dog is to relish it. / The only thing
that grows in Newark is the Crime Rate.
..........Late
last night the other day.........Arlo Guthrie …..The Motorcycle
Song
Trivia
Questions: Happy Birthday to Eva Ekeblad, the Mother of Vodka!
^
What country was Eva from anyway?
^^
Care to guess, what other product(s) Eva made out of potatoes?
^^^
Do you have any idea why potatoes were around at the time in that
land?
^^^^
Any idea what non-potato related discoveries this remarkable lady
uncovered?
^^^^^
I've run out of questions but the 5 Up arrow section has other
interesting facts about her.
Big
Hello:
Hallo – Alsatian (Alsace, France)
https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
A bunch of white Trump supporters chanting “Go back to where you
came from” to Native American protesters in front of Mt Rushmore is
probably THE most American way to celebrate the Fourth of July ever.
--Daryl Sturgis Seniors
for a Democratic Society
Fake
Library Statistic of the Week:
25% of librarians are more afraid of you than you are of them.
https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
A man walks up to an Indian hot dog vendor. Smirking to himself, he says, "Make me one with everything!" before handing over a twenty dollar bill. The vendor chuckles good naturedly before doing exactly that, piling a hot dog high with various toppings and condiments before handing it over. The man accepts it, but hesitates. "Where's my change?" The hot dog vendor smiles knowingly. "Change," he says, "comes from within." / How many Christie administrators does it take to change a light bulb? We don't know, they're stuck on the bridge.
..........Give
me the time to catch on.........Arlo Guthrie …..Meditation (Wave
Upon Wave)
Moonbeam:
There is not one blade
of grass, there is no color in this world that is not intended to
make us rejoice. --John Calvin
Naturally
Occurring Mandala of the Week: The July gemstone Ruby
Next
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: An
epidemiologist, an ICU doctor and a scientist all walk into a bar.
I'm just kidding, they know better. --George Takei
Week
of the Week: It is National Farriers
Week (5-11): To handle
this dilemma, farriers must always remember the wisdom of Vice
President Dan Quayle when he said that "the best defense is a
good excuse." So in consideration of the value of a good excuse,
the following are made available to farriers everywhere. Late for an
Appointment: Tell them you were delayed on a vet call. This always
sounds important and even though there isn't a vet within 42 square
miles that will even talk to you, it nonetheless is quite effective.
Make sure you pick one that has been dead for at least ten years. It
is horribly embarrassing if the mystery vet drives up while you are
still going over the excuse.
The
Hogwarts Hot Dog Wizard was a real sau sage. / I'm
not saying Seton Hall basketball players are dumb, but the coach is
dressing six players for this Saturdays game. The rest have to dress
themselves.
..........Way
down yonder in the Indian nation.........Arlo Guthrie …..Oklahoma
Hills
^
Eva
Ekebla (née
De
la Gardie) was born in Stockholm and was a countess,
salon
hostess,
agronomist,
and scientist.
Almanac:
It is Friday, July 10, 2020. The moon will be last quarter on Sunday
and is in Pisces. It is Collector
Car Appreciation Day, Cherihew Day, Don't Step on a Bee Day, Pina
Colada Day,
Taos Pueblo Pow Wow, and Teddy Bears' Picnic Day. In Albania it is
Army Day and in the Bahamas they are celebrating Independence Day
(1973). Wyoming commemorates Statehood Day (1890).
Among
those born on this day were John Calvin (1509),
William Blackstone (1723), Eva Ekeblad (Mother of Vodka, 1724),
Nikola Tesla (1856), Marcel Proust (1871), Saul Bellow (1915), Mr.
Wizard (Don Herbert, 1917), David Brinkley (1920), Owen Chamberlain
(1920), Fred Gwynne (1926), Nick Adams (1931), Arthur Ashe (1943),
Sue Lyon (1946), and Arlo Guthrie (1947).
On
July tenth the first non-Separatist Congregational
Church in the new world was founded (1629), Fillmore became president
following the death of Zachary Taylor (1850), the indelible pencil
was patented (1866), Wyoming became the 44th state (1890), Emma
Goldman was imprisoned for obstructing the draft (1917), the Treaty
of Versailles was delivered to the US Senate (1919), Your
Hit Parade debuted
on television (1950), Armistice talks to end the Korean conflict
began (Kaesong, 1951), the Orbiter 1 was launched to the moon (1966),
and CERN achieved the first proton-antiproton beam collision (570
GeV, 1981).
Night
Sky 7/10:
Jupiter
and Saturn rise in twilight now. Mars is a fire-beacon high in the
southeast in early dawn, and Venus passes just 1° from Aldebaran on
Saturday and Sunday mornings July 11th and 12th.
http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max
Picture of the Week:
Max, Ollie and Mom
This
Week: Saturday, July 11 – Cheer
Up The Lonely Day & Make Your Own Sundae Day
Sunday,
July 12 – Different Colored Eyes Day & Simplicity Day
Night
Sky, 7/12: If
you have a dark enough sky, the Milky Way now forms a magnificent
arch high across the whole eastern sky after nightfall is complete.
It runs all the way from below Cassiopeia in the north-northeast, up
and across Cygnus and the Summer Triangle in the east, and down past
the spout of the Sagittarius Teapot in the south-southeast.
Monday,
July 13 – National French Fries Day & Embrace Your
Geekness Day
Tuesday,
July 14 – Bastille Day & International Nude Day &
Shark Awareness Day
Wednesday,
July 15 – National Hot Dog Day & St Swithin's Day
Night
Sky, 7/15: Three doubles at the top of
Scorpius. The head of Scorpius — the near-vertical row of three
stars upper right of Antares — stands highest in the south right
after dark. The top star of the row is Beta Scorpii or Graffias, a
fine double star for telescopes. Just
1° below it is the very wide naked-eye pair Omega1 and Omega2
Scorpii, not quite vertical. They're both 4th magnitude. Binoculars
show their slight color difference; they're spectral types B9 and G2.
Left of Beta by 1.6° is Nu Scorpii, another fine telescopic double.
Or rather triple. High power in good seeing reveals Nu's brighter
component itself to be a close binary, separation 2 arcseconds
Thursday,
July 16 – National Guinea Pig Day & National Snake Day
I
took a road trip with my German buddy and when I accidentally dropped
my hot dog out the window he swung the car around to go back and get
it. . .That's when the whole trip really took a turn for the wurst.
/ New Jersey sucks so much all the tree in Pennsylvania lean east.
..........Bringing
in a couple of kis.........Arlo Guthrie …..Coming Into Los Angeles
^^
Eva is widely known for discovering a method in 1746
to make alcohol and flour from potatoes, allowing greater use of
scarce grains for food production, significantly reducing Sweden's
incidence of famine.
'Nother
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Clerihew - a
short comic or nonsensical verse, typically in two rhyming couplets
with lines of unequal length and referring to a famous person.
Edgar Allen Poe / Was passionately fond of roe / He always like to
chew some / When writing anything gruesome.
Moonbeam:
People wish to learn to swim and at the same time to keep one foot on
the ground. --Marcel Proust
Late
Night Snacks of the Week: Since everyone is on
vacation...Here's Letterman's top ten list from July 10, 1992.
10.
Craps would be a demonstration sport.
9.
You win a gold medal: your room, all your meals - comped.
8.
NBC TripleCast would still lose $150 million.
7.
Olympic judges replaced by pit bosses.
6.
Clear 7' 11" in high jump - win a million dollars.
5.
Sequined shot puts.
4.
Scoreboard shows medal count and keno numbers.
3.
Male gymnasts guaranteed work with Siegfried and Roy.
2.
Topless synchronized swimming.
1.
Medals would be bronze, silver, and gold lame.
Not
So Late Night Snacks of the Week: And here is
your host from a Jacuzzi filled with sanitizer somewhere in
Chicago...And here again is your host, wearing a full-body rubber
glove... And here again is your host from the Federal Strategic
Toilet Paper Reserve in Chicago... And here is your host from inside
the same pair of pajamas he's had on for two week, Peter Sagal.
--Bill Kurtis Soundbites from archived broadcasts Wait
Wait Don't Tell Me
In
order to promote international co-operation and to achieve
international peace and security...
They
invented a machine that cooks hot dogs with electrodes. It's called
the Frank Zappa. / Why did Princeton change their colors to Orange?
So they can play the game, direct traffic, and pick up trash without
changing.
..........Walk
right in it's around the back.........Arlo Guthrie …..Alice's
Restaurant Massacree
^^^
Potatoes
had been introduced into Sweden in 1658, but had been cultivated only
in the greenhouses of the aristocracy. Ekeblad's
work turned potatoes into a staple food in Sweden, and increased the
supply of wheat, rye and barley available for making bread, since
potatoes could be used instead to make alcohol. This greatly improved
the country's eating habits and reduced the frequency of famines.
Worthless
Fact of the Week: A
snail can sleep for three years. ~~Hey, I may have finally found
my totem spirit.
Wicked
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
Doctor: We have to remove your appendix. JRR Tolkien: But that's
where I explain why elves hate dwarves. --Submitted by fnog
Groaner
of the Week: There
was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he
started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was
completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting. He
said, “Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it’s
completely gone now. My hair can’t be saved. But look outside at
the forest. It’s such a lovely forest with so many trees, but
sooner or later they’ll all be cut down and this forest will look
as bald as my hair.” “What I want you to do,” the man
continued, “is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new
one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be
our family’s duty to keep this forest strong.” So they did. Each
time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did
their children, and their children after them. And for centuries, the
forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one
man and his re-seeding heirline.
Weird
Word of the Week:
Carabidologist – one who studies crab, crayfish, or crustacean.
http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-car4.htm
Wacky
Uses for Common Products:
Retrieve a coin or piece of jewelry that has fallen down a drain.
Tie a fishing weight to a long string, chew a piece of Wrigley's
Spearmint Gum briefly, stick it on the bottom of the weight, dangle
it down the drain, let it take hold, then pull up.
http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wrigleys2.html
Why
did the hot dogs with ketchup spoil earlier than the bare ones? Sauce
ages / The difference between New Jersey and yogurt is that yogurt
has an active living culture.
...........They're
flying you back to the Mexico border.........Arlo
Guthrie …..Deportees (Plane Wreck at Los Gatos)
^^^^
Eva also discovered a method of bleaching cotton
textile and yarn with soap in 1751. She also replaced the dangerous
ingredients in cosmetics of the time by using potato flour (1752);
she is said to have advertised the plant by using its flowers as hair
ornaments.
Penultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
The first five days after the weekend are the worst. --Submitted by
inrith
Substitute
Joke of the Week 1: This is ridiculous!
It's July 7th
and people are still setting off fireworks. One almost caught our
Christmas decorations on fire. --Submitted by imrith
Substitute
Joke of the Week 2: True astronaut joke:
Aussie
astronaut Andy Thomas got an idea of how crazy things could get in
space when he was working with Paul Richards five stories above
Discovery's cargo bay. Mounting
a stowage platform on the lab's hull called for Richards to unfasten
the pallet using a particular type of pistol-grip power tool. "Paul,
if you need any help with how to work that tool, just let us know,"
shuttle pilot and resident wag Jim Kelly said from Discovery's flight
deck. The joke evoked laughs from both Richards and Thomas. Why?
Richards himself had invented the tool 10 years earlier!
Puck
the Brave Episode of the Week:
Our fearless Puck – who did very well not fearing explosions this
4th – is retiring from the detective business and from
the ePistle. He's old and almost all he does anymore is sleep so his
pictures are as much fun. But I'll include him in the ePistle from
time to time.
Well
Mannered Curse of the Week: May
your tea be too hot when you receive it, and too cold by the time you
remember it.
The
opposite of a hot dog is a pupsicle. / What separates a good team
from a great team? The Pennsylvania-New Jersey border.
..........I
ain't going back to that place no more.........Arlo
Guthrie …..Grocery Blues
^^^^^
Even though she was the mother of vodka, she was
called "one of few aristocratic ladies whose honor was
considered untainted" by the wife of the Spanish ambassador.
Month
of the Week: July is Air Conditioning
Appreciation Month --It's so hot Satan went home to cool off. / It's
so hot Baptists aren't burning any books / It's so hot the retirement
center is having a wet t-shirt contest.
Final
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
Everything I know about history I learned from statues. This is why I
know that in the past there were maybe three women. --Submitted by
bu of ks
Today's
Peace of History, July
10, 1976: Ku Klux Klan (KKK) members
near Georgetown, IL, gathered for an ill-fated cross-burning. The
meeting started an hour late. When the Klansmen went to plant their
cross, it was too heavy to move. Three hours later, after the cross
was chopped down to a portable size, it was planted, but would not
light. Finally, the Klan members gave up and went home.
Hot
dogs should be renamed hot wolves because the always come in packs. /
How do they separate the men from the boys in New Jersey? With a
restraining order.
..........We're
gonna make it through for sure...Arlo Guthrie …..Hard Times
Masthead
of the Week:
Friday ePistle July, 10, 2020, Josiey ePistle. Online at:
http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/
. Harmony, Humor, and Hot Dogs! Exclusive editor: Christine Smith.
2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam:
There is a syndrome in sports called “paralysis by analysis”.
--Arthur Ashe
Cost
of War:
As
of 7/9/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,042,746,657,478.
As
of 7/2/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,040,734,679,692.
As
of 7/9/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $977,196,706,098.
As
of 7/2/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $975,829,446,722.
As
of 7/9/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $778,132,896,886.
As
of 7/2/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $776,414,259,818.
As
of 7/9/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $332,484,724,007.
As
of 7/2/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $332,094,168,684.
As
of 7/9/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,130,561,577,804.
As
of 7/2/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,125,073,335,938.
...and
in order to ensure the restoration of peace and good government...
Quotes from the Treaty
of Versailles
Famous
Last Words: ...protect and defend the Constitution of the
United States. Oath of office administered to Millard Fillmore on
July 20, 1850.
..........I'll
see you in my dreams.........Arlo Guthrie
…..Goodnight Irene
That
vegan hot dog only crossed the road to prove he wasn't chicken. / New
Jersey: You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and
villainy.
May
Peace be your coconut
And
Joy your sweet rum
prairie
mama
christine
Last
Laugh:
