Famous
First Words: Denne forfatning gælder for alle
dele af Kongeriget Danmark. Constitution
of Denmark 1849 ( This
Constitution applies to all parts of the Kingdom of Denmark.)
June
is Dairy Month! An Udder Day, An Udder Dollar. / I don't know about
your fridge, but at our house the cheese listens to R & Brie.
..........Cowboys
like smokey old pool rooms and clear mountain mornin's........Waylon
Jennings …..Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys
The
greatest threat to our planet is the belief that someone else will
save it. --Robert Swan
It
is a gray Friday morning. The western sky is dark and foreboding and
the eastern sky is struggling to let the new sun shine through.
Crumbs of gray clouds float around the sky. Outside is wet with last
night's rain and smells of damp cement and wet foliage. Birdsong is
wondrous and varied...chatty sparrows, hooty mourning doves, unseen
trillers...all singing late morning lauds. Puck is sitting at the
back door watching, listening, planning his day. There is no breeze;
the willow tree is un-moving and 71°F is pretty close to perfect. I
sit at my computer desk sipping creamy Moose Munch. I too am
watching and listening, but I also get to think of you. How very
pleasant.
Hope
your weekend is anything but cheesy, ePistliers
First
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you hold a crab up to
your ear, you can hear what it's like to be attacked by a crab.
--Submitted by sb of ar
Ah,
goat puns aren't so baaaaaaaaad. / What do yo mean, “where's the
cheese.” You said you wanted macaroni, you didn't say one thing
about cheese.
..........Straightenin'
the curves, flattenin' the hills........Waylon
Jennings …..Dukes of Hazard Theme
Trivia
Questions: It is Festival of Popular Delusions Day and John
Maynard Keynes birthday. Seems like an ideal
day for a little economics trivia.
^
If you divide their net worths by their age, how
much money have Carlos Slim and Bill Gates accumulated - more or
less?
^^
According to a study by Harvard professor David Wise
and two colleagues, what percentage of Americans die with less than
$10,000 in assets.
^^^
Care to guess the total amount of charitable giving in the US in 2011
– give or take a few thousand?
^^^^
About how much did outstanding student loans increase between 2005
and 2012?
^^^^^
In NYC what percentage of crimes involve an Apple product?
Big
Hello:
Hallo – Akkadian
https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Last
Week's Problem Solved:
Last week I upgraded my computer operating system to Windows 10 65
bit from Windows 7, 32 bit. So I was using the browser that came
with it. That browser (Edge I think is it's name) wouldn't mail the
ePistle to lots of folks and wouldn't mail the Lawrence
Progressive Calendar
to anyone. Eventually, I downloaded Chrome (which I had used on the
old system) and since then have had no trouble sending emails or
trying to remember my bookmarks. Whew! I'm so glad.
Second
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
Developing: Sources reveal that the looted Target store had a history
of marijuana use. --Submitted by nd
Fake
Library Statistic of the Week:
At any given moment, 29% of librarians are judging someone.
https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Sweet
dreams are made of cheese, who am I do dis a brie? / Feta is made
from goat's milk. You've goat to be kidding me.
..........in
love with a good timin' man........Waylon
Jennings …..Good Hearted Woman
Moonbeam:
I am the immense shadow of my tears. --Federico Garcia Lorca
Unintentional
Mandala of the Week: Cookie
Next
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
Congratulations to the astronauts that left Earth today. Good
Choice. --Submitted by inrith
Paranoid
Fantasy of the Week: We all know that
Trump really wants to be a Hitler. He keeps a copy of Adolph's
speeches on this bedside table, has photo ops that recreate famous
Hitler pictures, etc. Well, Hitler's record for number of deaths on
his watch is set at 6,000,000. Trump is only up to 110,000 dead. He
has a long way to go to catch up. Stay safe.
Week
of the Week: Hemp History Week (1-7)
--Sorry for my bluntness; that's just how I roll. / Can't we all just
get a bong?
What
do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef Jerky. It was a terrible
explosion at the cheese factory. There's nothing left be de brie.
..........Maybe
it's time we got back to the basics of love........Waylon
Jennings …..Luckenbach Texas
^
Gates and Slim each has accumulated more than
$100,000 in net worth for every hour they’ve been alive.
Almanac:
It is Friday, June 5, 2020. The moon is full (Strawberry) tonight
and is in Sagittarius. The United Nation has declared
this World Enviornment Day (UNEP). It is Festival of Popular
Delusions Day, Hot Air Balloon Day, and National Moonshine Day. In
Columbia it is Thanksgiving Day and in Denmark it is Constitution Day
(1849, 1953). Because it is the First Friday it is also Labour Day
in the Bahamas.
Among
those born on his day were Thomas Chippendale (1718), Adam Smith
(1723), John Couch Adams (1819), George Thorndike Agnell (1823),
Pancho Villa (1878), John Maynard Keynes (1883), Ruth Benedict
(1887), William Boyd (Hopalong Cassidy, 1895), Federico Gracia Lorca
(1898), Bill Hayes (1925), Bill Moyers (1934), Waylon Jennings
(1937), Ken Follett (1939), Tommie Smith (1944), John Carlos (1945),
and Kenny G (1956).
On
June fifth the first public balloon flight was made
(1783), the Batavian Republic became the Kingdom of Holland (1806),
Denmark became a constitutional monarchy (1849), US marines invaded
Cuba for the third time (1912), the US went off the gold standard
(1933), the Baker Street Irregulars met for the first time (NYC,
1934), the American Negro Theater organized (1940), the Marshall Plan
was introduced (1947), Denmark adopted a new constitution (1953),
segregation on buses was outlawed (1956), Bobby Kennedy was shot
(1968), the Apple II , first personal computer, went on sale (1977),
and the waterfront streetcar began running in Seattle (1982).
Night
Sky, 6/5: Can
you still catch Mercury in twilight, under Pollux and Castor? It's
coming to the end of a nice evening apparition. Its next good evening
appearance doesn't come until winter 2021.
http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max
Picture of the Week:
Max is still working on face masks of one kind or another.
This
Week: Saturday, June 6 –
National Eye Wear Day & Drawing or Pencil Day & National
Black Bear Day
Sunday,
June 7 – National Animal Rights Day & CVR Day
Night
Sky, 6/7: For
much of the spring at mid-northern latitudes, the Milky Way lies
right down out of sight all around the horizon. But watch the east
now. The rich Cassiopeia-Cepheus-Cygnus-Aquila stretch of the Milky
Way starts rising up all across the east these nights, earlier and
higher every week. A hint for the light-polluted: It runs
horizontally under Vega, right through the Summer Triangle.
Monday,
June 8 – Ghostbusters Day & Upsy Daisy Day & World
Oceans Day
Tuesday,
June 9 – Donald Duck Day & Loving Day & Toy Industry
Day
Wednesday,
June 10 – Ball Point Pen Day & Iced Tea Day & Race
Unity Day
Night
Sky, 6/10: Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn
(magnitudes, +0.1, – 2.5, and +0.4, respectively) shine in the
southeast to south before and during early dawn.
Thursday,
June 11 – National Cotton Candy Day & Corn on the Cob
Day
Nacho
ate too much cheese dip and ended up with a bad queso diarrhea. / The
farmer put stockings and a saddle on his milk cow and called it a
cow-a-sock-y.
..........And
take off for the promise land........Waylon
Jennings …..Drinkin' and Dreamin'
^^
46.1% of Americans die with less than $10,000 in
assets.
'Nother
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: when you ask, “are you
seeing anyone”, do you mean a therapist or an hallucination?
Moonbeam:
Only mystery allows us to live, only mystery. --Federico
Garcia Lorca
Late
Night Snacks of the Week: The police can’t
even get through protests about police brutality without committing
more police brutality. It’s like if your wife accused you of having
an affair in divorce court, and you tried to smooth it over by
seducing the judge. --Seth Meyers / It reminds me of the old joke:
why did the defense secretary and the chairman of the joint chiefs
cross the road? Because the president is a chicken. --Stephen
Colbert / He walked to the church. He stood in front of the church.
He never went in the church. Never spoke to anyone from the church,
didn’t examine the damage to the church, held a Bible upside down,
didn’t read from the Bible, didn’t give a speech, posed for
photos and left. I don’t know, that sounds like a pretty textbook
definition of a photo op. --Jimmy Kimmel / At this point, Drumpf
should just go for 100% disapproval and then take credit for uniting
the country.--Jimmy Fallon
Classic
Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: This is
the first child of Prince Harry and his wife, Meghan. The baby is,
I'm sure you want to know, seventh in line to the throne after his
grandfather, his uncle, and his cousins. Really, to put it in
American terms, it's like being the secretary of agriculture, right?
Peter Sagal Classic Wait, Wait Don't Tell
Me May 2019 from St. Louis
Conservation
is a state of harmony between people and land. --Aldo Leopold
Poor
little calf, it's always pasture bedtime. / I don't understand why
people need drugs and alcohol to have fun. Have you tried mac and
cheese?
..........piano
roll blues, danced holes in my shoes........Waylon
Jennings …..Honky Tonk Heroes
^^^
US charitable giving in 2011 was $298 billion. That is more than the
GDP of all but 33 countries in the world.
Worthless
Fact of the Week: All polar bears are left-handed, or rather,
left-pawed.
Wicked
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The
space X lads aren't due back for a while. Plenty of time for
everyone to buy a gorilla suit and learn to ride a horse. --Karl
Tomlinson --_Submitted by sb of ar
Antepenultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'd
tell you to go to hell, but I work there, and I don't want to see you
everyday.
Weird
Word of the Week:
Xenozoonosis – diseases that originated in animals and spread to
humans. Coronavirus is a xenozoonosis.
http://www.worldwidewords.org/turnsofphrase/tp-xen2.htm
Wacky
Uses for Common Products:
Relieve an earache caused by the change in pressure in an airplane.
Open the Eustachian tubes in your ears by chewing Wrigley's Spearmint
Gum on an airplane flight.
http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wrigleys2.html
Cheese
is just milk with a bad attitude. / Hardly, milk is merely cheese
that lacks culture.
...........If
you want to get to heaven, gotta D I E........Waylon
Jennings …..Waymore's Blues
^^^^
Outstanding student loans increased by $539 billion between 2005 and
2012 according to the Federal Reserve.
Penultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
I do not spew profanities. I enunciate them clearly, like a lady.
--Submitted by wp
Science
Fiction Convention Joke of the Week: Sci
Fi Conventions: Where the designer for Lady Gaga gets his
inspiration.
Actual
Science Convention Joke of the Week: The PhD student did his
research on the origin of curly braces({,}). At the convention he
presented his Parent Thesis.
Puck
the Brave Episode of the Week:
Here's our fearless Puck sleeping it off after a night of battling
the K-9 force and looting Pet Step.
This
morning my fridge was a mess, things turned over, Cheese Whiz
everywhere. Basket Queso. / Cows have hooves instead of feet because
they lactose.
..........But
hard times are real........Waylon
Jennings …..Where Corn Don't Grow
^^^^^
One in 7 crimes in NYC involve an Apple product being stolen,
according to the NYPD.
Month
of the Week: June is National Ocean
Month – Why did the mermaid wear seashells? Because she grew out of
her B-shells. / Why did the fisherman start doing drugs? Pier
pressure.
Final
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
2020 is almost as bad as my first marriage. --Submitted by #rhoz
Today's
Peace of History, June
5, 1851: Uncle
Tom's Cabin or, Life Among the Lowly
began to appear in serial form in the Washington National Era, an
abolitionist weekly.
Some
guy pulled my teat. How Dairy! / There was that famous curdish
basketball player, Swish Cheese.
..........I
can hear the wind a blowing in my mind........Waylon
Jennings …..We Had It All
Masthead
of the Week:
Friday ePistle June 5, 2020, Curdled ePistle. Online at:
http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/
Laughs, peace, and lactose tolerance. Exclusive editor: Christine
Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam:
In the vivid morning I wanted to be myself. A heart. --Federico
Garcia Lorca
Cost
of War:
As
of 6/4/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,032,829,603,458.
As
of 5/28/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,030,872,398,219.
As
of 6/4/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $970,456,946,905.
As
of 5/28/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $969,126,970,165.
As
of 6/4/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $769,660,050,473.
As
of 5/28/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $767,988,261,116.
As
of 6/4/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $330,559,088,873.
As
of 5/28/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $330,179,171,024.
As
of 6/4/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,103,506,440.871.
As
of 5/28/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,098,167,760.251.
What
is the use of a house if you don't have a decent planet to put it on.
--Henry David Thoreau
Famous
Last Words: Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said
something. --Pancho Villa's dying words
..........and
it sure did shock me, Lord, kin killin kin........Waylon
Jennings …..The Ghost of General Lee
Hope
you're not feta up at my gouda jokes. / If you cross a cow with a
chicken, you end up with Roost Beef.
May
Peace bring you joy
And
Joy bring you peace
prairie
mama
christine
Last
Laugh:
