Famous
First Words: Fermatevi, compagni! --Handel's
Poro
February
is Spunky Old Broads Month: Police in Tampa, Florida,
raided and shut down a weekly $4-a-round mah-jongg game played by
four elderly women. The Tampa Week
asked its readers for titles of crime movies that could be made about
this bust: Golden Girls, Interrupted / The Lavender Hair Mob /
Indicting Miss Daisy
..........You
can see by our outfits that we are both cowboys.........The Smothers
Brothers …..Streets of Laredo
50
Ways to Promote Peace #38: Attend local government meetings
It
is a cold (9°F) Friday morning. The sky is devoid of clouds; but
the waning moon can be seen moving slowly to the west and arching jet
trails pick up the pink of the rising sun – brilliantly to the east
and palely to the west. There are no birds at the feeders but a
distant chee chee tells us the birds are waking. Two geese flying
towards the wetlands also have lots to say this morning. Squirrels
too are still abed and Puck has no one with which to argue...until
the dogs next door come out. The sound of distant machinery hums
away. There is no wind but the single digit temperature still
manages to seep into the edges of clothing. Puck finishes his
conversation and waits not so patiently at the gate. So we come
inside to warmth and light and the smell of brewing Moose Munch.
Puck settles onto a stack of blankets on the foot of the bed and I
process my decaf with cream and sweetener, take a long, hot gulp, and
then, the best part of all, I sit and write to you.
Hope
your weekend lights your fire anew, ePistliers.
The
average age of people living at Longtooth Acres is 85. Recently, a
neighbor turned 100 and a big birthday party was thrown. Her
daughter attended and when asked replied that she was “81years
old”. The birthday girl shook her head and said, “They sure grow
up fast.”
..........and
the body count is finally filed….......Graham Nash …..Military
Madness
Trivia
Questions: Happy Groundhog Day!
^
By what other name(s) is the holiday known?
^^
What kind of animal is the groundhog?
^^^
What do groundhogs eat, generally?
^^^^
Where is the largest and most famous US celebration of Groundhog Day?
^^^^^
Where is the largest and most famous Canadian celebration of
Groundhog Day?
First
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Insane fact: the sun is
approximately 8 CVS receipts from earth.
Fake
Library Statistic of the Week:
You
have a 50/50 chance that a librarian will waive your fine if you give
them enough chocolate so you may as well try
https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Three
elderly sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, shared a house together. One
evening, the 96-year-old sister went upstairs to take a bath. As she
put her foot into the tub, she paused. Then she yelled down to the
other two sisters and asked, “Was I getting in the tub or out?”
“You dern fool,” said the 94-year-old. “I’ll come up and
see.” When she got half way up the stairs she paused. “Was I
going up the stairs or down?” The 92-year-old sister was sitting at
the kitchen table drinking a cup of tea and thought, “I hope I
never get that forgetful, knock on wood.” She shook her head and
called out, “I’ll be up to help you both as soon as I see who’s
at the door.
..........The
sea was calm and the starfish were bright..........Smothers Brothers
…..Crabs Walk Sideways
Moonbeam:
All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and
holding on. --Havelock Ellis
Something
to Think About of the Week:
Week
of the Week: US Snow Sculpting Week
(February 1-5) --Across
the street from a house with a 4 person snow family, two snow cats, a
snow bear, and Snoopy on his doghouse, the family put a sign that
said, "Free Snowman Kit - Some Assembly Required"
The
first Jewish President calls his mother in Florida: “Ma — I’m
having the first Passover at White House — You’re coming of
course” Ma: “I’ve got dietary issues — I have a special
diet” Son: “Ma you know I have a chef at the White house — you
can have whatever you want.” Ma: “Well, but you know I don’t
fly, I don’t like all the germs and all those kids, and the seats
are too small.” Son: “Ma, you know I have Air Force One — I’ll
come pick you up, you’ll have your own airplane.” Ma: “Oh
that’s nice — But I really don’t like hotels, all the bedbugs
these days — I like a good clean bed and hard mattress.” Son:
“Well Ma, You can sleep in the Lincoln Room” Ma: “Well Ok
then, I’ll come.” (she hangs up the phone) Next her friend Edith
calls and says, “So, what are you doing for Passover?” Ma: “I’m
going to my son’s” Edith: “Oh the Doctor?” Ma: “No the
other one.”
..........Fear
is the lock and laughter is the key to your heart.........Crosby
Still & Nash …..Suite Judy Blue-eyes
^
The Christian name for Groundhog Day is Candlemas and claims to be a
celebration of Mary presenting Jesus at the Temple but is also
sometime called St. Bridgit Day. The Pagan holiday is called Imbolc
or Imblog (aka Là Fhèill Brìghde, Manx, Laa'l Breeshey).
Almanac:
It is Friday, February 2, 1018. The moon was full (Blue) on
Wednesday and is in Virgo. It is Ayn Rand Day,
Candelmas, Crepe Day aka La Chandeleur, Groundhog Day, Groundhog Job
Shadow Day, Hedgehog Day, Imbolc, Marmot Day, Sled Dog Day, Working
Naked Day, World Play Your Ukulele Day, and World Wetlands Day.
Because it is the First Friday Bubble Gum Day, Give Kids A Smile Day,
and Wear Red Day.
Among
those born on this day were Jacob van Campen (1595), Nell Gwyn
(1650), Jean-Baptiste Boussingault (1802), Havelock Ellis (1859),
Solomon Guggenheim and Mehmed VI Vahideddin (1861), James Joyce
(1882), Charles Correll (1890), Any Rand (1905), Renzo Rossellini
(1908), Charlotte Auerbach (1910), Elaine Stritch (1926), Stan Getz
(1927), Tom Smothers (1937), Graham Nash (1942), Farrah Fawcett
(1947), Christie Brinkley (1954), Brent Spiner (1955), Pebbles
Flintstone (1963), Trevor Noah (1984), and Data (2338).
On
February second Handel's Poro
premiered (1731), the first shipload of Chinese arrived in San
Francisco (1848), Samuel Clemens first used the name Mark Twain
(1963), the Knights of Columbus formed (1882), the Female Army Nurse
Corps were established (1901), Al Capone was sent to prison (1932),
Goering banned communist meetings and demonstrations (1933), the lie
detector was first used in court (9135), What's
My Line
first broadcast (1950), a presidential news conference was first
televised (Eisenhower, 1955), Liz Taylor married Mike Todd (3rd,
1957), Idi Amin became dictator of Uganda (1971), Midnight
Special
debuted (1973), and Late Night with
David Letterman
premiered (1982).
Night
Sky, 2/2:
The
sky's biggest asterism (informal star pattern) — at least the
biggest that's widely recognized — is the Winter Hexagon. It fills
the sky toward the east and south these evenings. Start with
brilliant Sirius at its bottom. Going clockwise from there, march up
through Procyon, Pollux and Castor, Menkalinan and Capella on high,
down to Aldebaran, then to Rigel in Orion's foot, and back to Sirius.
Betelgeuse
shines inside the Hexagon, off center.
http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Science
Fiction Convention of the Week:
Days of the Dead Convention (Atlanta, February 2-4) Where Horror
Comes to Party... Media stars (Malcolm McDowell / Matthew Lillard)
and Wrestlers (Shawn Michaels & Mean Gene Okerlund).
http://www.daysofthedead.net/atlanta/
Actual
Science Convention of the Week: Petroleum Geology for Non-Geologists
(February 1-2, Houston, TX). Designed
for oil and gas professionals with little or no technical training.
https://events.r20.constantcontact.com/register/eventReg?oeidk=a07eeol62100cb4caeb&oseq=&c=&ch=
This
Week: Saturday, February 3 –
Barber Day & The Day the Music Died
Night
Sky, 2/3: After
it’s good and dark, look due east, not very high, for twinkly
Regulus. Extending upper left from it is the Sickle of Leo, a
backward question mark. "Leo announces spring," goes an old
saying. Actually, Leo showing up in the evening announces the cold,
messy back half of winter. Come spring, Leo will already be high.
Sunday,
February 4 - Super Bowl Sunday & Quacker Day & World
Cancer Day
Monday,
February 5 – Weather Forecaster Day & Shower With a
Friend Day
Tuesday,
February 6 – Lame Duck Day & African American Coaches
Day
Night
Sky, 2/6: Mercury is
lost in the sunrise. Venus remains hidden deep in the sunset. Mars
and Jupiter (magnitudes +1.2 and –2.0, respectively) rise in the
east-southeast in the hours after midnight. They're high in the south
by early dawn. Jupiter, the first up, is the brightest point in the
pre-dawn sky, shining in dim Libra. Mars glows to Jupiter's lower
left in the head of Scorpius.
Wednesday,
February 7 – Laura Ingalls Wilder Day & National
Periodical Table Day & “e” Day
Night
Sky, 2/7: Saturn
(magnitude +0.5, in Sagittarius) is becoming easy to see low in the
southeast around the beginning of dawn, if the air is good and clear.
Uranus (in Pisces) is still well up in the southwest right after
dark. Neptune (in Aquarius) is sinking away low in the west-southwest
after dark.
Thursday,
February 8 – Laugh and Get Rich Day & Opera Day
Sitting
on the side of Hwy 22 waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State
Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to
himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” So he
turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car,
he notices that there are five old ladies — two in the front seat
and three in the back - eyes wide and white as ghosts. The driver,
obviously confused, says to him, “Officer, I don’t understand, I
was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?”
“Ma’am,” the officer replies, “You weren’t speeding, but
you were driving slower than the minimum.” She answered. “No
sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly... Twenty-Two miles an
hour!” the old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer,
trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that “22” was the
route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman
grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. “But
before I let you go, Ma’am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this
car ok? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven’t muttered a
single peep this whole time.” the officer asks. “Oh, they’ll
be alright in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119.”
..........The
breeze hasn't time to stop and hear what I say..........Smothers
Brothers …..I Talk to the Trees
^^
The groundhog (marmota monax) is also know as a woodchuck. A member
of the rodent family (Sciuridae) . Known also as chuck, wood-shock,
groundpig, whistlepig, whistler, thickwood badger, Canada marmot,
monax, moonack, weenusk, and red monk.
Next
Funniest thing I Read of the Week: Anything You Can I Do, I
Can Do Bleeding --Sign at 2018 Women's March – Columbus Circle
Moonbeam:
All day long I add up columns of figures and make everything
balanced. I come home. I sit down. I look at a Kandinsky and it's
wonderful. --Solomon Guggenheim.
Late
Night Snacks: Pope Francis yesterday condemned
fake news, saying the spread of false information dates back to the
time of Adam and Eve. Specifically, the part about there being an
Adam and Eve. --Seth Meyers / In the news yesterday, North Korea
suggested that it would like to reunite with South Korea. I think
something’s up because today South Korea gave North Korea its
Netflix password. --Conan O'Brien / According to the National Travel
and Tourism Office, tourism is down in America since we elected
President Drumpf. The U.S. tourism industry lost 40,000 jobs and $4.6
billion in revenue since the inauguration. I don’t know why people
wouldn’t want to come here, we’re so welcoming to foreigners,
starting right at the top. We don’t really need a wall. We already
have Drumpf. Drumpf is his own wall, in a way. --Jimmy Kimmel / The
Justice Department recovered 50,000 missing text messages from FBI
agents. 50,000! And they were all from just trying to set up a group
brunch. “I can’t make it then, man, no way. My kid’s got
karate.” --Jimmy Fallon / For the first time ever, Drumpf
indicated that he is open to a path to citizenship for Dreamers.
Finally, a way for immigrants to become citizens without having to
marry Donald Drumpf. --Stephen Colbert
Not
So Late Night Snacks: He told her (Stormy
Daniels) he hates sharks and he never gives to charities that support
sharks. Shark perservation charities have seen a huge surge in
dontations this week. Because asked to make a choice between
remoreless and human-eating machine on the one hand and a shark on
the other, people take the shark. --Peter Sagal / We won't know
just how poplar sharks are until we see the number of support sharks
on airplanes. --Bim Adewunmi / Shouldn't Trump love sharks because
they're great and white. - Peter Grosz Wait,
Wait, Don't Tell Me
50
Ways to Promote Peace #37: Learn about symbols of peace and use
tangible examples as reminders in your own home, workspace, etc.
A
woman on the phone to her friend; I feel like my body has gotten
totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a
fitness club and start exercising…. I decided to take an aerobics
class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and
perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the
class was over.
..........And
the downhill run to Papeete.........Crosby Still & Nash
…..Southern Cross
^^^
Mostly herbivorous, groundhogs eat primarily wild
grasses and other vegetation, including berries and agricultural
crops, when available.
Worthless
Fact of the Week: The very first challenger on the very first
What's My Line was Miss Pat Finch of
Manhattan, NY. She was a hat check girl at the Stork Club and won
$25.
Weird
Word of the Week:
Upskilling – increasing the skills of workers, usually through
training...distinguished from reskilling
http://www.worldwidewords.org/turnsofphrase/tp-ups2.htm
Wacky
Uses for Common Products:
Improvise a water container. Fill a Trojan Condom with water, like a
water balloon, to transport or store water in this expandable
container. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/trojan.html
An
elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening at church
service when she was startled by an intruder. As she caught the man
in the act of robbing her home of its valuables, she yelled, "STOP!
ACTS 2:38!" (Repent and be baptized, in the name of the lord, so
that your sins may be forgiven.) The burglar stopped in his tracks.
The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.As
the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, "Why
did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell scripture at
you." "SCRIPTURE?!" replied the burglar, "She
said she had an AXE and TWO 38's!
...........Do
you love me as much I love you.........Smothers Brothers …..The
Military Lovers
^^^^
The
largest and most famous celebration for Groundhog Day in the United
States is held in Punxsutawney, PA and the groundhog's name is
Punxsutawney Phil. Approximately
40,000 people attend the Groundhog Day celebration each February 2nd.
Word
Shakespeare Made Up of the Week: Skim milk – whole milk with
the cream (milkfat) removed. King Henry IV, Part I
Act II, Scene 3 Hotspur:
O, I could divide myself and go to buffets, for moving such a dish of
skim milk with so honourable an action! Hang him!
Website
of the Week:
zerodollarmovies.com
This
website provides you the list of movies which you can watch on
YouTube for free. Watch your favorite movie on YouTube for free!
~~Searching is kind of dodgy, but there are a lot of movies there.
Puck
the Brave
Episode of the Week:
Here's our fearless Puck at the masseuse in the case of the Soothing
Siberian.
I
think more about running away now than I did as a kid. But by the
time I put in my teeth, put on my glasses, and find my keys, I've
forgotten why I'm going.
..........Animal
carpet wall to wall.........Crosby Still & Nash …..Marrakesh
Express
^^^^^
The
largest and most famous celebration for Groundhog Day in Canada is
held in Wiarton, Ontario and the groundhog's name is Wiarton Willie.
Month
of the Week: February is Grapefruit
Month – Have
you ever noticed nobody has ever ordered a grapefruit the size of a
tumor? Ever. There's no reciprocity.
--Janeane Garofalo
Penultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Why
do medications always have side effects like 'anal leakage' and
“suicidal thoughts'? Why not “invisibility' or “spontaneous
orgasms'? --submitted by rhb of ks
Most
Beautiful Thing in the State:
Ricketts Glen State Park, Pennsylvania...Glens
Natural Area, a National Natural Landmark. Take the Falls Trail and
explore the Glens, which boasts a series of wild, free-flowing
waterfalls, each cascading through rock-strewn clefts in this ancient
hillside. The 94-foot Ganoga Falls is the highest of 22 named
waterfalls.
https://www.google.com/search?q=Ricketts+Glen+State+Park&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjPqqy-zPvYAhUEuVMKHcaRDNYQ_AUICygC&biw=1229&bih=588
Today's
Peace of History, February
2, 1990: South
African President F.W. De Klerk unbanned (lifted the ban on)
opposition parties: the African National Congress (ANC), the
Pan-Africanist Congress and the South African Communist party were
now legal.
You
know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they
automatically gift wrapped it. – Joan Rivers / Whatever you may
look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will
his eyesight. --Phyllis Diller
..........Turn
that hoecake round...........Smothers Brothers …..Cabbage
Masthead
of the Week:
fRiday ePistle February, 2, 2018, sPunky oLd ePistle. Online at:
http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/
Generic Tag Line. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct.
Lawrence, KS 66046
Final
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: They
told me I'd understand when I got older, I'm 73 now – so when is it
that am I finally going to understand?
Moonbeam:
My mom used to get arrested for being with my dad. She would get
fined. She would spend weekends in jail. --Trevor Noah
Cost
of War:
Tax
dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 2/1/17: $796,902,932,532.
Tax
dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 1/25/17: $796,220,500,005.
Tax
dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 2/1/17:
$821,222,537,410.
Tax
dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 1/25/17:
$821,202,592,473.
Tax
dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 2/1/17:
$1,814,006,318,592.
Tax
dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 1/25/17:
$1,812,579,758,745.
50
Ways to Promote Peace #36: Think about any prejudices you might have
and explore why they are a part of you, with the ultimate goal being
that your release them.
http://uncustomary.org/50-ways-promote-peace/
..........Peacocks
wandered aimlessly underneath an orange tree........Crosby Still &
Nash …..Guinevere
Three
old friends were discussing their own deaths. The first said when
she died she would like to cremated and her ashes scattered on her
beloved garden. The second, said now she wanted to be buried so her
children would come and put flowers on her grave. The third said, “I
drank so much wine, I think I'll just be bottled.”
Famous
Last Words: He
raised his hand and over the desolate earth he traced in space the
sign of the dollar. --Ayn Rand Atlas
Shrugged ~~The
GOP is getting closer and closer to this image.
May
Peace cast your shadow
And
Joy surround your seasons
prairie
mama
christine
Last
Laugh:
