eGgy ePistle

 Famous First Words: The Lone Ranger...Heigh Ho, Silver. Opening sequence from the Lone Ranger television series 1949-1957

September is All American Breakfast Month. Bacon and eggs walked into a bar but the bartender said, “Get out of here. We don't serve breakfast”. / My son was making breakfast for the first time and he distraughtly asked me, “How do you stop the bacon from curling in the pan?” I smiled and advised, “well, son, just take away the little brooms”.

..........Drive me around the world.........Jefferson Airplane with Signe Toly Anderson …..Chauffeur Blues

Politics make me sick. --William Howard Taft

It is a delightful Friday morning. The 58°F is just right for a light jacket or sweater. The sky is a cloudless pale blue stretching off into the horizon east and west. Bird chatter is everywhere; all kinds of critters think it is a lovely morning, I guess. The bird feeder is full of activity and noise which Veronica the cat finds amusing. Puck the dog has been out and is back in for the early morning nap. I am nibbling a bacon and egg biscuit and sipping freshly brewed coffee, rich and creamy. The sun has just peeked over the roof and spotlighted the weary sunflower plant leaning with the weight of its fruits but still blessing the world with color. And now a robin sits on the utility wires and surveys the backyard. O, what a beautiful morning, indeed.

Hope your weekend is full of dark coffee and bright sunrises, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Blessed are the mischief makers for they shall always wear a smile.

I don't mind breakfast in bed, but I prefer it on a plate. / Chuck Norris has Coronavirus...for breakfast. / At breakfast, my wife said, “Honey, you forgot the French toast.” So I raised my glass and said, “Vive la France”.

..........I got no words left to say.........Jefferson Airplane with Signe Toly Anderson …..Blues From An Airplane

Trivia Questions: On this day in 1963 a church was bombed in Birmingham, AL...

• ^ What is the name of the church?

• ^^ Who placed the bomb and/or where did they place it?

• ^^^ Why was the church bombed?

• ^^^^ Who didn't survive the bombing?

• ^^^^^ Was anyone ever brought to justice for the bombing?

Big Hello: sábaai-dįi - lao https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I saged my house last night and woke up outside. --Lunajane

Image of the Week: My daughter, Maleficent, and her daughter, whose identity is unknown, at a children's party...or so they say...

~~I just wrote a little blurb about how my mother groomed me to be a peace advocate and how she probably didn't intend to do that. Well, this isn't really what I intended to groom my daughter for either.

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 72% of librarians have an archenemy. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

When my partner asked, “what's for breakfast?”, I answered, “the one after three breakfast.” / My iPhone eats Siri-al for breakfast. / My thesaurus eats synonym buns for breakfast.

..........We are but a moment's sunlight.........Jefferson Airplane with Signe Toly Anderson …..Let's Get Together

Moonbeam: The best time to plan a book is while you're doing dishes. --Agatha Christie

Question of the Week: Who you gonna call?

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Michael Schwartz, of Florence, OR: Name certain musical instruments (plural). The first, third, fourth, and fifth letters spell something that holds the things named by the last five letters. What instruments were these?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I correct autocorrect more than autocorrect corrects me. --Submitted by INRITH

I thought Dim Sums breakfast had to do with noodles, but instead it's the process of enjoying math in a dark room. / Clark Kent ate his Wheaties out of a super bowl.

..........Well your love used to echo from my feet to my brain.........Jefferson Airplane with Signe Toly Anderson …..Bringing Me Down

^ It was the 16^th Street Baptist Church, 1530 5^th Avenue, Birmingham, AL, 35203. Picture

Almanac: It is Friday, September 15, 2023. The moon is new tonight and is in Virgo. The United Nations has declared this International Day of Democracy. It is Felt Hat Day, Greenpeace Day, International Day of Online Listening, International Dot Day, LGBT Center Awareness Day, National Cheese Toast Day, National Day of the Cowgirl, National Doodle Day, National Neonatal Nurses Day, National On-line Learning Day, and Tackle Kids Cancer Day.

Among those born on this day were Francois dec de la Rachefoucald (1613), James Fennimore Cooper (1789), Porfirio Diaz (1830), William Howard Taft (1857), Bruno Walter (1876), Ettore Arco Isidoro Bugatti (1881), Dame Agatha Christie (1890), Frank Martin (1890), Jean Renoir (1894), Roy Acuff (1903), Kathryn Murray (1906), Fay Wray (1907), John Mitchell (1913), Jackie Cooper (1921), Bobby Short (1924), Norm Crosby (1927), Signe Toly Anderson (1941), Miroslaw Hermaszewski (1941), Oliver Stone (1946), Tommy Lee Jones (1946), Dan Marino (1961), and Prince Henry Charles Albert David of Wales (1984).

On September fifteenth the Mayflower departed Plymouth with 102 pilgrims (1620), the US Department of foreign Affairs was renamed Department of State (1789), Costa Rica, El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras & Nicaragua all gained independence (1821), Antoinette Blackwell became the first female ordained minister in the US (1853), the National Afro-American Council formed (1898), Wilbur Wright made his first airplane flight (1904), Russia declared itself a republic (1917), the first international bridge match was held (1930), John Cobb set the world auto speed records at 350.2 mph (1938), The Lone Ranger premiered on tv (1949), Khrushchev arrived for a 13 day visit to the US (1959), 4 black children were murdered by a bomb in a Birmingham church (1963), and Lost in Space premiered (1965).

Night Sky, 9/15: That 1st-magnitude star high in the south after dark is Altair. To check that you've got it, look for its little marker Tarazed, 3rd magnitude, about a finger-width at arm's length to Altair's upper right. About a fist to Altair's upper left is the little constellation Delphinus, the Dolphin. Not quite as far straight above Altair is the smaller, fainter Sagitta, the Arrow. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Ollie and Max during the last week at summer camp. It was Shorts and Parka Day.

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Pluto had it coming. --Neil deGrasse Tyson

This Week: Saturday, September 16 – International Coastal Cleanup Day & International Red Panda Day & National Dance Day

Sunday, September 17 – Citizenship Day & Time's Up Day & Responsible Dog Ownership Day

Night Sky, 9/17: Look very low in the west-southwest during twilight for the waxing crescent Moon. As twilight deepens, can you see Spica twinkling 3° or 4° lower right of it? Use binoculars. And next, look due west about 25° to the right of the Moon (far below Arcturus) for Comet Nishimura at perihelion! You brought those binoculars, right? You have only a narrow time window between when twilight is still too bright and the comet gets too low and sets.

Monday, September 18 – International Equal Pay Day & Respect for the Aged Day

Tuesday, September 19 – National Voter Registration Day & Talk Like A Pirate Day

Wednesday, September 20 – National Ask An Atheist Day & School Backpack Awareness Day

Night Sky, 9/20: Venus (brilliant at magnitude –4.7, in dim Cancer) is rapidly getting higher in the east before and during dawn. By the end of this week it comes up over the east horizon nearly two hours before dawn's first light.

Thursday, September 21 – International Day of Peace video: Ringing the Peace Bell 2022

I hired a French chef but every time he served me breakfast in bed I got the crepes. / Reading a newspaper while eating the all American breakfast puts you solidly behind the Times.

..........Go ask Alice when she's ten feet tall.........Jefferson Airplane …..White Rabbit

^^ The Birmingham Ku Klux Klan claimed to have set the bomb. It exploded under the steps of the church a little before 11 am.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: As soon as you say, “My child would never,” here they come nevering like they never nevered before. --Submitted by INRITH

Moonbeam: My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section. --Norm Crosby

Video of the Week: The opening and closing theme from The Lone Ranger

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Trapped at Burning Man: It's always hard to watch people suffer, except this time...Diplo and Chris Rock ended up walking for miles. --Peter Sagal   Were Diplo and Chris Rock holding hands? --Peter Grosz   Chris Rock always holds people's hands now so they won't slap him. --Maeve Higgins Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 9/9/23

We live in a stage of politics, where legislators seem to regard the passage of laws as much more important than the results of their enforcement. --William Howard Taft

Every morning Salvador Dali ate a big bowl of surreal. / My roommate usually has peanut butter toast for breakfast, but this morning we were out of bread and she's been grouchy all day. She's lack-toast intolerant.

..........Do away with people blowing my mind.........Jefferson Airplane …..3/5 of a Mile in 10 Seconds

^^^ Due to the success of the Birmingham Campaign, on May 10, 1963, the city agreed to desegregate lunch counters, restrooms, drinking fountains, and fitting rooms, to hire African Americans in stores as salesmen and clerks, and to release the jailed demonstrators. White segregationists opposed desegregation, however, and violence continued to plague the city On May 11th, a bomb destroyed the Gaston Motel where Martin Luther King, Jr. had been staying and another damaged the house of King's brother, A. D. King. NAACP attorney Arthur Shores' house was firebombed on August 20th and September 4th in retaliation for his attempts to help integrate the Birmingham public schools. On September 9th, President John F. Kennedy took control of the Alabama National Guard, which Governor Wallace was using to block court-ordered desegregation of public schools in Birmingham. Around that time Robert Chambliss, who would later be named as a suspect in the 16th Street Baptist Church bombing, foreshadowed the violence to come when he told his niece, "Just wait until Sunday morning and they'll beg us to let them segregate."

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you need the threat of hell to be a good person, you're just a bad person on a leash. --Submitted by ff of ks

Weird Word of the Week: Alexipharmic – an antidote against poison http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-ale1.htm

Dragon of the Week: 

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Mulch plants. Place long sheets of Bubble Wrap with the bubble-side down on vegetable beds as mulch, securing the plastic in place with stones or weights. Cut slits into the plastic to accommodate seeds or transplants. The radiant heat created by the plastic will add an additional 3 degrees to the soil. The sheets of Bubble Wrap can be rolled up at the end of the season and reused the next year. To water beneath the impermeable plastic sheet, use a drip line of soaker hose. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bubblewrap.html

Recently our local diner eggspanded their breakfast menu. / The French eat those small breakfasts because one egg is enough.

...........Everybody knows how I feel.........Jefferson Airplane with Signe Toly Anderson …..It's No Secret

^^^^ In the basement, four girls were killed: *14-year-olds Addie Mae Collins, Denise McNair, Carole Robertson, and 11-year-old Cynthia Wesley. Addie's sister Sarah survived, but lost her right eye.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The cat who was completely obsessed with my bump when I was pregnant is quite uninterested in the baby now that she's out. It's a weird way to find out that my cat is a Republican. --Dr Dana Ménard --Submitted by 98%

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Fantasm 2023 (15-17, Orlando, FL) A Haunt and Horror Convention https://www.fantasmofficial.com/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Tashkent International Textile Machinery Exhibition (13-15, Tashkent, Uzbekistan https://www.clocate.com/tashkent-international-textile-machinery-exhibition-ttme/98157/

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Trombones --> tomb, bones

The menu said they served breakfast any time so I ordered waffles in the Renaissance. --Stephen Wright / My mother threatened me to make me stop these breakfast puns. She said I'd be toast. But my brother keeps egging me on. He's such a ham.

..........Somebody help me 'fore I fall apart.........Jefferson Airplane with Signe Toly Anderson …..Come Up The Years

^^^^^ *1965: FBI agents named four men as primary suspects for the bombing - Thomas Blanton, Robert Chambliss, Bobby Frank Cherry, and Herman Cash *1968: The investigation ended in 1968 with no indictments. *1971: Alabama Attorney General Bill Baxley reopened the case. *1977: Robert Chambliss was convicted of murder. *1994: Herman Cash died having never been prosecuted. *2001: Thomas Blanton was convicted of murder. *2002: Bobby Frank Cherry was convicted.

Saying of the Jewish Buddha of the Week: Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.

Quote of the Week: A.I. will probably most likely lead to the end of the world, but in the meantime, there'll be great companies. --Sam Altman, the man behind ChatGPT. (from AI hearing in Congress)

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands. --Submitted by dr of oh

Today's Peace of History, September 15, 2001: Four days after 9/11, Representative Barbara Lee (D-California) cast the only congressional vote against authorizing President Bush to use "all necessary and appropriate force" against anyone associated with the terrorist attacks of September 11. "I am convinced that military action will not prevent further acts of international terrorism against the United States.”

I ate a clock for breakfast. It was really time consuming. / Omeletting this one slide, but stop yolking around.

..........Don't tell me it's so funny.........Jefferson Airplane with Signe Toly Anderson …..Let Me In

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle September 15, 2023, eGgy ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Ignorance and superstition ever bear a close and mathematical relation to each other. --James Fenimore Cooper

Literary Criticism of the Week – Fenimore Cooper's Literary Offenses by Mark Twain. ~~Perhaps the most entertaining criticism you'll ever read: https://xroads.virginia.edu/~Hyper/HNS/Indians/offense.html

Cost of War:

• As of 09/14/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $216,692,302,407

• As of 09/ 7/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $216,140,074,895.

• As of 09/14/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,161,347,518,928.

• As of 09/ 7/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,162,805,123,010.

• As of 09/14/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,147,079,664,226.

• As of 09/ 7/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,146,479,828,765.

• As of 09/14/23 Veterans Care since 2001:$3,251,315,227,047.

• As of 09/ 7/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,239,623,848,117.

• As of 09/14/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,043,727,071,375.

• As of 09/ 7/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,042,556,009,983.

• As of 09/14/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,823,163,978,213.

• As of 09/ 7/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,807,606,681,939.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Anti Semitism is a noxious weed that should be cut out. It has no place in America. ---William Howard Taft. --he also said this: The day is not far distant when three stars and stripes at three equidistant points will mark our territory: one at the North Pole, another at the Panama Canal, and the third at the South Pole. The whole hemisphere will be ours in fact as, by virtue of our superiority of race, it already is ours morally.

Famous Last Words: In the name of Allah, the Merciful, the Compassionate... Something like that. --Agatha Christie Murder in Mesopotamia

..........The only life I've ever known.........Jefferson Airplane with Signe Toly Anderson …..Tobacco Road

Every morning at breakfast for the past 6 months, I announce loudly that I'm going for a jog, and then I don't. It's my longest running joke of the year. / The two things you can't have for breakfast are lunch and dinner.

May Peace smoke your bacon

And Joy fry your eggs

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

thE trEk Epistle

 Famous First Words: He was an old man... Ernest Hemingway The Old Man And The Sea

Happy 57^th Birthday to Star Trek! Little Known Fact: Captain Kirk had 3 ears; one on the left, one on the right, and a final front ear. / Spock had pointed ears and Scott had engine ears.

..........Worry, why do I let myself worry.........Patsy Cline …..Crazy (written by Willie Nelson)

"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censored, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably." --Jean-Luc Picard

It is another beautiful Friday morning. The 65°F is nearly perfect for a morning walk. The sky is constantly changing as the billowy clouds are moved about by a gentle 6 mph wind that also sets the willow to dancing and the mulberry to grudgingly exercise its top branches. The local murder of crows is in the neighborhood. I can hear their caws and calls but I cannot see them. The rising sun is notably further south these days, the shadows on the storage shed have shifted their positions. The need for rain is also beginning to show; lawns have newly browned spots and the leaves on the sunflower plant are dying around the golden flowers. I watch out my window as the morning drifts by sipping decaf and thinking how lucky I am to have such wonderful friends to write to on this fine day.

Hope your weekend is crazy – in a good way, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: You seem genuinely happy at this job. I've scheduled you for a drug test. --Bill Abbott

Bumper Sticker: My other vehicle was assimilated by the Borg. / Romulan frogs use a croaking device as camouflage.

..........Time only adds to the flame.........Patsy Cline …..I Fall To Pieces (Hank Cochran / Harlan Howard)

Trivia Questions: Blessed Banana Day !

• ^ What is a cluster of bananas called?
• ^^ If bananas don't grow on trees, what do they grow on?
• ^^^ What are the leaves used for?
• ^^^^ When were bananas introduced to the United States?
• ^^^^^ How does the banana propagate?

Big Hello: Hau – Lakota Sioux https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The only Zen you can find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there. --Robert M Pissig

Image of the Week: Video of a flying dragon made of drones: It only takes 20 seconds and is beautiful. Thank you, lr of tl https://www.facebook.com/markmweston/videos/1398605697654877 This is the first of 3 dragons in today's ePistle.

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: A decade later 99% of librarians will still feel guilty about a reference question where they gave out incorrect information. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

The final line of the Klingon classic Gone In The Storm is, “After all, tomorrow is another good day to die”. / Blonde Borg has the same fun.

..........And everything went wrong.........Patsy Cline …..Three Cigarettes In An Ashtray (Eddie Miller / W Stevenson)

Moonbeam: The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius. --Sid Caesar

Question of the Week: I made Jesus shaped pancakes but I burnt them. Am I going to hell? https://www.buzzfeed.com/ishabassi/questions-people-have-asked-on-yahoo-answers

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Mary Springhorn, of Bellingham, Wash. Think of a noun in six letters. It sounds like a two-word phrase (2,6). And the thing named by the noun can have a seriously bad effect on what's named by the phrase. What was it?

Shameless Self Promotion of the Lifetime: I am a recipient of the Tom and Anne Moore Peace and Justice Award for 2003. I am unable to stop all the emotions that are swirling around to get a handle on any one of them. I am exhilarated and humbled, honored and unworthy. The award will be presented on Thursday, September 21 (International Day of Peace) in the ECM Building at 7 pm. C J Janovy, author of No Place Like Home will be speaking. See you there.

How many Borg does it take to change a light bulb? All of them. / How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb? None. Real warriors don't need light bulbs. / How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb? Two, one to change the bulb and another to defend the empty socket with a bat'leth.

..........I've got your class ring.........Patsy Cline …..She's Got You (Hank Cochran)

^ A cluster of bananas, called a “hand,” consists of 10 to 20 individual bananas, also known as fingers. In fact, the word banana comes from banan, the Arabic word for “finger.”

Almanac: It is Friday, September 8, 2023. The moon went into the last quarter yesterday (9/7) and is in Cancer. The UN has declared this International Literacy Day (UNESCO 14/C/Resolution 1.441). It is also National Ampersand Day, National Dog Walker Appreciation Day, Pardon Day, Pediatric Hematology/Oncology Nurses Day, World Physical Therapy Day, Banana Day, Iguana Awareness Day, International Literacy Day, and Star Trek Day.

Among those born on this day were Richard the Lionhearted (1157), Ludovico Ariosto (1474), Frederic Mistral (1830), Antonin Dvorck (1841), Robert A Taft (1889), Jimmie Rodgers (1897), Queenie Smith (1898), Lyndon LRouche (1922), Sid Caesar (1822), Peter Sellers (1925), Patsy Cline (1932), Peter Maxwell Davies (1934), and Ann Beattie (1947).

On September eighth the first known circumnavigation of the globed completed (1522), the first new world settlement settled in St. Augustine (1565), the Pledge of Allegiance first appeared in print (1892), US air mail service began (1920), the first Miss America was crowned (1921), The Blondie comic stirp first appeared (1930), Old Man and the Sea was published (1952), Star Trek debuted (1966), Uganda abolished tribal kingdoms and became a republic (1967), and the JFK Center for the Performing Arts opened (1971).

Night Sky, 9/8: With September well under way, the Great Square of Pegasus is high in the east after dark, balancing on one corner. From the Great Square's left corner extends a big line of three 2nd-magnitude stars, running to the lower left, that mark the head, backbone and leg of the constellation Andromeda. (The line of three includes the Square's corner, her head.) Upper left from the foot of this line, you'll find W-shaped Cassiopeia tilting up. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Poor little lambs who would never go astray.

This Week: Saturday, September 9 – International Buy A Priest A Beer Day & National Hollerin' Day & Prairie Day

Sunday, September 10 – Grandparent's Day & National Hug Your Hound Day & Swap Ideas Day

Night Sky, 9/10: With the evening sky moonless, this is a great week for the Milky Way under a dark sky. When Deneb crosses your zenith (two hours after Vega does, meaning around 10 or 11 pm.), the Milky Way does too — running straight up from your southwest horizon and straight down to your northeast horizon.

Monday, September 11 – Libraries Remember Day & Patriot Day & National Day of Service and Remembrance

Tuesday, September 12 – National Day of Encouragement & National Police Woman's Day & Video Games Day

Wednesday, September 13 – Bald Is Beautiful Day & National Peanut Day & Scooby-Doo Day

Night Sky, 9/13: Neptune, magnitude 7.8 at the Aquarius-Pisces border, is fairly high by 10 or 11 pm, 23° east of Saturn. Uranus, magnitude 5.7 in Aries, is nice and high in the hours before dawn, 7° or 8° east of Jupiter.

Thursday, September 14 – National School Picture Day & Live Creative Day

Signs that Star Trek is taking over your life: Arguing with your chemistry professor because neither dilithium or tritanium are listed on the periodic table. / You've figured out the Stardate System.

..........That's the time I'll come on home to you.........Patsy Cline …..Anytime (Herbert Lawson)

^^ Bananas are actually massive herbs related to palms, lilies, and orchids. Bananas are the largest plants on earth without a woody stem. The “trunk” is made up of sheaths of overlapping leaves, wrapped tightly around each other. They reach their full height of up to 30 feet during their first year of growth.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: "A library serves no purpose unless someone is using it." --Mr. Atoz

Moonbeam: He's evil. I believe in redemption, but I haven't seen any redeeming qualities in Henry Kissinger. --Lyndon LaRouche

Video of the Week: Hilarious Draw-Bridge scene with Peter Sellers (3:09) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qL-FfePxRL0

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Nobody pays any attention to COVID anymore; so, clearly COVID needs a better PR strategy. Maybe, COVID could get photographed making out with Pete Davidson. --Peter Sagal Well, everybody else has. --Roy Blunt, Jr Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 9/2/23

"Compassion: that's the one thing no machine ever had. Maybe it's the one thing that keeps men ahead of them. “ --Dr. Leonard (Bones) McCoy

Signs that Star Trek is taking over your life: You have 5 separate pairs of Spock ears “stored” in 5 separate places in your house. / Phrases like “make it so” and “I'm a doctor, Jim, not a...” have crept into your casual conversations.

..........Can't you see I'm sorry for each mistake I made.........Patsy Cline ….Have You Ever Been Lonely (Billy Hill / Peter De Rose)

^^^ A single banana leaf can grow up to 12 feet in length. In Southeast Asia, Central America and much of Africa, food is wrapped in banana leaves for storage and cooking, much like aluminum foil in the West. The leaves lend a subtle flavor to dishes cooked in them, and their hardiness allows them to be used time and again.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The 2 unwritten rules of life: 1) …............ 2) …........... --Submitted by INRITH

Weird Word of the Week: Zemblanity – the opposite of Serendipity http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-zem1.htm

Dragon of the Week: For Banana Day – Banana Dragon

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Cushion your tools and prevent them from clanking together when you carry your toolbox. Line the bottom of your toolbox with a sheet of Bubble Wrap. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bubblewrap.html

Why has the Enterprise never run into an energy field of a type it has encountered several times before? / Has anyone ever used the holodeck where it worked properly?

...........I'm back where I belong.........Patsy Cline …..Back In Baby's Arms

^^^^ Bananas were first brought to the United States in 1876, for the Philadelphia Centennial Exhibition. The exotic fruits were wrapped in foil and sold for 10¢ apiece (roughly $1.70 in today’s dollars).

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Buying groceries is starting to make me wonder what a pine cone tastes like. --Submitted by sb of kc

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: PhileFest 2023 (8-10, Mall of America) Celebrating Science Fiction while supporting the SAG-AFTRA strike. https://philefest.com/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Generative AI in the Classroom (8, Ann Arbor, MI) This training course is designed to equip faculty with the necessary skills and knowledge to begin integrating Generative Artificial Intelligence into the classroom setting... https://events.umich.edu/event/111418

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Miasma – My asthma

Signs your Klingon warrior has no honor: Nerf bat'leth / Drinks decaf Raktagino / Always the designated driver

..........Filled with dreams that might have been.........Patsy Cline …..Leavin' On Your Mind (Wayne P Walker / Webb Pierce)

^^^^^ Bananas are grown and harvested year-round. They grow from a bulb, not a seed. A perennial crop, each bulb sprouts new shoots every year.

Saying of the Jewish Buddha My Own Writing of the Week: There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that? https://www.tikkun.org/sayings-of-the-jewish-buddhist/

Quote of the Week: Intolerance is the first sign of an inadequate education. --Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I was hoping to age like a fine wine but I sort of feel more like an avocado. --Submitted by Thoughts From Aisle 4

Today's Peace of History, September 8, 1965: Table grape pickers, mostly Filipino members of the Agricultural Workers Organizing Committee (AWOC), led by Larry Itliong, went on strike for higher wages in Delano, California.

I've got a brother at Starfleet Science Academy. Great, what' he studying? Nothin. They're studying him. / Spock attended a Science Officers Meeting but the whole thing turned into a giant argument. The headline read: Science Friction.

..........Night winds whisper to me.........Patsy Cline …..Walkin' After Midnight (Alan Block / Don Hecht)

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, September 8, 2023, thE trEk Epistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: There used to be a me behind the mask, but I had it surgically removed. --Peter Sellers

Cost of War:

• As of 09/ 7/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $216,140,074,895.
• As of 08/31/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $215,587,284,431.
• As of 09/ 7/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,162,805,123,010.
• As of 08/31/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,161,261,212,729.
• As of 09/ 7/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,146,479,828,765.
• As of 08/31/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,145,879,434,279.
• As of 09/ 7/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,239,623,848,117.
• As of 08/31/23 Veterans Care since 2001:$3,227,920,428,812.
• As of 09/ 7/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,042,556,009,983.
• As of 08/31/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,041,383,912,791.
• As of 09/ 7/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,807,606,681,939.
• As of 08/31/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,792,035,937,819.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

"You know the greatest danger facing us is ourselves, and irrational fear of the unknown. There is no such thing as the unknown. Only things temporarily hidden, temporarily not understood." James T. Kirk

Famous Last Words: Isn't she cute, Dad. --Dagwood in the first ever Blondie comic strip (9/8/1930)

..........Why can't I forget the past.........Patsy Cline …..Sweet Dreams (Don Gibson)

Star Trek was so successful because it had good Genes. / Where were you born? Earth. What part? All of me.

May Peace guide your journey

And Joy steer your way

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: The Ampersand Dragon for Ampersand Day

Warty Jelly ePistle

 Famous First Words: An act to prevent interstate commerce in the products of child labor... --Keating-Owen Act

September is National Mushroom Month. A book about mushrooms is called a FunGuide. / Mushroom taxis go shroom, shroom.

..........Wonder where this world is going to, going to.........Steve Miller Band …..Children of the Future

There cannot be health without peace, and there cannot be peace without health. --Director General Dr Tedros of W.H.O.

It is a gorgeous Friday morning. The cloudless sky is a tight azure that provides the perfect background for barely moving willow branches and still mulberry trees. Birds flit about silently. The loud crows have come and gone. A cardinal sits very red in the very green tree of unknown species. Her yellow beak picks up the sun and shines like a tiny, tiny diamond in the morning sun. 63°F temperatures make the morning ideal for walks and we meet other dogs but no squirrels (must be a good morning to sleep in for some). The breeze is so slight I am not sure whether I am feeling wind against my cheeks or if it is only me moving through the air. Now the sounds of motors revving up and moving down the streets begin to stir the morning into human action. So I return home to the smell of brewing coffee and last night's incense. I fix myself a cup of sweetened, creamed coffee and select a gooey cream filled doughnut and sit down to write to you. What a morning.

Hope your weekend is magic, ePistliers.

FYI of the Week: Warty Jelly is a type of mushroom. Exidia glandulosa It is also sometimes called Witches Butter.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I don't know how to tell my friend that I'm imaginary.

What kind of room has no windows or doors? A Mushroom. / How do you get into a mush room? Ring the Porta-Bella.

..........She spreads her wings and she's free..........Steve Miller Band …..Quicksilver Girl

Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday, Edgar Rice Burroughs !

• ^ Any idea where Edgar was born?
• ^^ How about when Edgar began to publish?
• ^^^ Or when someone began making Tarzan movies?
• ^^^^ How many Tarzan books did Edgar write?
• ^^^^^ When did Edgar die?

Big Hello: Buenos diyas (בואנוס דיאס ) – Ladino** https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

**Ladino: westernized Central American person of predominantly mixed Spanish and indigenous descent. In that sense, ladino is synonymous with mestizo. The word ladino is Spanish (meaning “Latin”), and the ladinos of Central America are not to be confused with those Sephardic Jews who speak the Ladino language. The omniglot website suggests it may be the Sephardic Jews because the greeting is written in the Hebrew alphabet.

Freshly Learned Fact of the Week: When your computer cursor is in the middle of a Hebrew word the left and right directional arrow keys work in the opposite direction (at least in Open Office) because Hebrew is read from right to left; This is true even if the word processor won't save the actual Hebrew characters but changes them to grawlix (see Weird Word of the Week below). Grrr!

The Big Hello section is usually so simple...Learn to say hello...what could be more straightforward?

And I looked up Sephardic too.

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 38% of librarians have re-gifted ugly yarn to their cats. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

With your jacket potatoes, why don't you serve button mushrooms? / Farmer Fanny grows mushrooms. We know she's a really good person because she has such good morels.

..........All I know is I've got to be free.........Steve Miller Band …..Roll With It

Moonbeam: The road to success is always under construction. --Lily Tomlin

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Can the witches please gather in the woods tonight and make fall happen already. I'm sick of being sad & sweaty, I'm ready to be melancholy & cozy.

Image of the Week: The Dalek who works in the Dillons on 23^rd

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Paula Egan Wright, of Cheyenne, Wyo. Name part of the human body above the neck in 9 letters. Rearrange them to name another part of the human body found below the neck. Only some people have the first body part. Everyone has the second one. What parts of the human body were these?

A mushroom that makes music is known as a decomposer. / When Morris the Mushroom had a day off he went to the salad bar.

..........I jump in my white horse Cadillac..........Steve Miller Band …..Gangster of Love

^ Burroughs was born in Chicago, IL. He was the fourth son of businessman & Civil War vet, George Tyler Burroughs.

'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Being poor is only romantic in books. --Sidney Sheldon

Almanac: It is Friday, September 1, 2023. The moon was full (Corn Moon) yesterday (8/31) and is in Pisces. It is the International Day of War Tax Resistance. It is also Building and Code Staff Appreciation Day, Chicken Boy's Day, Emma M. Nutt Day, International Day of Awareness for the Dolphins of Taiji, National No Rhyme (Nor Reason) Day, Random Acts of Kindness Day or Be Kind Day, and Save Japan's Dolphins Day.

Among those born on this day were Lydia Sigourney (1791), Elizabeth Harrison (1849), Engelbert Humperdinck (1854), Roger David Casement (1864), Gentle Jim Corbett (1866), and Edgar Rice Burroughs (1875). Also Walter Reuther (1907), Melvin Laird (1922), Vittorio Gassman (1922), Yvonne De Carlo (1922), Rocky Marciano (1923), Ann Richard (1933), Conway Twitty (1933), George Maharis (1938), Lily Tomlin (1939), Barry Gibb (1946), and Gloria Estefan (1957) were born on this day.

On September first the Great Fire of London began (1666), Aaron Burr was acquitted of charges of plotting to set up an empire (1907), the first pullman sleeper car went into service (1859), solar flares were first observed (1859), Lister performed the first antiseptic surgery (1965), Emma Nutt was hired as the first female telephone operator (1878), St. Petersburg became Petrograd (1914), the Keating-Owen Act banned child labor from interstate commerce (1916), Black holes were first treated in the literature (1939), the UN's World Health Organization formed (1948), Pirate Radio Marina began transmitting (1968), Earth's population hit 3 billion (1962), Boz Scaggs joined The Steve Miller Blues Band (1967), Qatar gained independence from Britain (1971), Bobby Fischer beat Boris Spassky for the world chess title (1972), the court ordered Clayton Moore to stop wearing his Lone Ranger mask (1979), and Pioneer flew by Saturn (1979).

Night Sky, 9/1: Just after twilight fades away, look for bright Vega passing near the zenith (if you live in the world's mid-northern latitudes). Vega goes right through your zenith if you're at latitude 39° north: near Baltimore, Kansas City, Lake Tahoe, Sendai, Beijing, Athens, Lisbon. As dawn brightens, catch Venus now rapidly emerging in the east from its conjunction with the Sun. In a telescope or even good binoculars it's a thin crescent, just 11% sunlit. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: At the County Fair

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If work were good for you, the rich would leave none for the

poor. --Haitian proverb --Submitted by 98%

This Week: Saturday, September 2 – International Bacon Day & National Play Outside Day & World Beard Day

Sunday, September 3 – Bowling League Day & Pet Rock Day & Skyscraper Day

Night Sky, 9/3: A late-night telescope session tonight offers the Moon in its interesting waning gibbous phase, with lunar landforms near the terminator casting their shadows in the opposite direction from when the Moon is a thick waxing crescent seen in early evening. Then switch to Jupiter shining right nearby, as shown below. Jupiter's four bright Galilean moons are very roughly the size of our own Moon, but at 1,800 times the distance, they appear in a telescope as hardly more than pinpoints. Jupiter's Great Red Spot should transit the planet's central meridian tonight around 1 am. EDT.

Monday, September 4 – Labor Day & National Wildlife Day & Yard Art Day

Tuesday, September 5 – Be Late For Something Day & International Day of Charity & Jury Rights Day

Wednesday, September 6 – Gold Star Day (1941 – all German Jews over age six were ordered to wear a yellow star on their clothing.)

Night Sky 9/6: Saturn (magnitude +0.4, in dim Aquarius) rises at sunset; it's at opposition this week, on August 26th. In late twilight you'll find Saturn glowing as the brightest thing low in the east-southeast. It's at a fairly good height for telescopic observing by 11 pm. (by which time Fomalhaut is twinkling two fists below it). Saturn is at its highest in the south around 1 am.

Thursday, September 7 – Neither Snow Nor Rain Day & International Day of Clean Air for Blue Skies

Do baby toadstools grow in mushwombs? / Millie Mushroom wasn't stroganoff to enter the weight lifting competition.

..........You open your eyes and love will be easy.........Steve Miller Band …..You've Got the Power

^^ Burroughs' first story was published in 1912; it was about an abandoned English boy raised by apes.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I know how it will end, one of my kids will unplug my life support to charge their phone. --Submitted by RHOZ

Moonbeam: Remember, we're all in this alone. --Lily Tomlin

Video of the Week: The mushroom dance from Fantasia: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJYN1d3f2dc (1:04)

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: A new report from the NYT says that close calls happen more often than we thought with 46 incidents happening just last month. The FAA responded with a statement which was basically, "I know. Right? Crazy". I don't like their plan for this which is to put a bumper sticker on the back of the plane that says: Student Pilot. Please Be Patient --Nagin Farsad Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 8/26/23

In fact, addressing issues of inequality and marginalization is critical for achieving positive health outcomes not only in fragile, conflict-affected and vulnerable settings, but in all societies globally. --WHO Website

Mushrooms have their own internet. They have conferences on Zhroom. / Cameron Campestris was always helpful. He said that's what friends are spore.

..........She said “there isn't anything greater than love..........Steve Miller Band …..You're So Fine

^^^ In 1916 Edgar Rice Burroughs was paid a record $5,000 cash advance on royalties for the film rights of the first Tarzan novel plus five percent of the gross receipts. Tarzan of the Apes went on to take a million dollars at the box office.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Little Known Fact: Before the crowbar was invented, crows simply drank at home. --Submitted by jg of ks

Weird Word of the Week: Grawlix – The “grawlix” is the character or string of characters that often appear in place of profanity – the visual equivalent of bleeping a word. %#&$#@ https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/grawlix

Dragon of the Week: Australia's Thorny Dragon (Moloch horridus)

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Make a handy grip for holding unwieldy objects. If you have difficulty holding pens, silverware, brooms, mops, and rakes, cut a strip of Bubble Wrap, wrap it around the body of the instrument or utensil, and secure it in place with a piece of Scotch Packaging Tape, creating a more convenient grip. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bubblewrap.html

All mushrooms are edible; Some are only edible once though. / Sorry, mushroom puns are usually in spore taste.

...........When the moon peeks over the mountains..........Steve Miller Band …..Key to the Highway

^^^^ Edgar Rice Burroughs wrote 26 Tarzan books without ever visiting Africa.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Me yelling at a squirrel to get out of the road so it's not squished...is probably the same feeling that my guardian angel has watching me live my life.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Meta Con (1-3, Minneapolis, MN) We bring together thousands of geeks for a three-day celebration of geek culture and nerd life. https://metaconvention.com/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: International Conference on Ubiquitous Computing and Intelligent Information Systems (1-2, Erode, India) Hosted by Shree Venkateshwara Hi-Tech Engineering College. https://10times.com/e1zf-542x-z1rx

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Buck Teeth → Butt Cheek

Mother mushrooms have been known to sing “Mush, little baby, don't say a word” to their little toadstools. / As Larry Lion's Mane fell off the cliff he yelled, “Help, I'm in truffle!”

..........Did you hear the music serenade from the stars..........Steve Miller Band …..Song For Our Ancestors

^^^^^ Burroughs died alone in his Encino home of a heart attack after many health problems on March 19, 1950. He had spent his last hour reading the Sunday comics in bed

Saying of a Jewish Buddha Own Writing of the Week: The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single Oy. https://www.tikkun.org/sayings-of-the-jewish-buddhist/

Quote of the Week: History is never surprising – after it happens. --Robert Heinlein Logic Of Empire

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Living people eat dead mushrooms but living mushrooms eat dead people.

Today's Peace of History, September 1, 1997: Kurdish and British activists blockaded an arms trade exhibition outside London.

Peter Puffball has noticed that no matter how big and tough some humans claim to be, they can't resist poking a puffball. / Ruby Redpine broke up with her boyfriend, Morty Molybdites, because he was so toxic.

..........Got such a long way to go.........Steve Miller Band …..Fanny Mae

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle September 1, 2023. Warty Jelly ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up. --Lily Tomlin

Cost of War:

• As of 08/31/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $215,587,284,431.
• As of 08/24/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $215,033,691,596.
• As of 08/31/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,161,261,212,729.
• As of 08/24/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,159,714,869,853.
• As of 08/31/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,145,879,434,279.
• As of 08/24/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,145,278,043,991.
• As of 08/31/23 Veterans Care since 2001:$3,227,920,428,812.
• As of 08/24/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,216,198,104,825.
• As of 08/31/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,041,383,912,791.
• As of 08/24/23 Military Costs since 2001:$3,040,209,639,616.
• As of 08/31/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,792,035,937,819.
• As of 08/24/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,776,437,386,502.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

WHO’s Constitution recognizes that “the health of all peoples is fundamental to the attainment of peace and security”.

Famous Last Words: I'm stayin' alive. --The Brothers Gibb Stayin' Alive

..........Life's gonna be my pleasure..........Steve Miller Band …..Lucky Man ~~Boz Scaggs was with Steve Miller for 2 albums (Children of the Future and Sailor) All these songs are from those 2 albums.

I'm spored of these mushroom puns. Don't you have mushroom for new material? / Bobby Bolete grew to be three feet tall. They called him the humongous fungus.

May Peace be your foundation

And Joy be your infrastructure

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: