nAtional ePistle

 Famous First Words: I do not come here as an advocate... The Freedom Or Death speech by Emmeline Pankhurst 11/13/1913

I don't know why, but here in Austria, every diner calls their burgers “American burgers” if they're considered above average in size. --JuicyKay / Why are there no knock knock jokes about the United States. Because freedom rings.

..........As I went walking that ribbon of a highway.........Woody Guthrie …..This Land Is Your Land

I have made speeches urging women to adopt methods of rebellion such as have been adopted by men in every revolution. --Emmeline Pankhurst

It is a lovely Friday morning in July. The sky is a pale blue with only a few clouds – all of them cottony and small. With a temperature of 80°F and a relative humidity of 74%, the morning invites walks and rides. Light winds (4 mph) give a rhythm and grace to the willow branches and make the mulberry tree seem to be waving back in appreciation. Occasional bird calls ring out but the primary soundtrack sounds are motors and door slams and truck rumbles. A hawk flies over, low, looking for breakfast...a crow sits on the top of a power pole and watches while his murder roams the neighborhood. Field sunflowers wave in the wind causing yellow flicks among the moving leaves; and now a small bird with a yellow head is eating sunflower seeds. What a lovely scene out my window this morning. I take a swig of hot black tea, smile again at the moving picture outside my room, and sit down to write to you. Ahhh, it really is a wonderful world.

Have a terrific weekend, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I don't get it? This trail looked so flat on the map.

In the Netherlands, a tumor in fatty tissue is called “Amerikaenker.” --Gooi-a-weg / The United States used to have a law against loitering (sitting or standing around doing nothing) Now it's named Impersonating a Politician.

..........But our union's gonna break them slavery chains.........Woody Guthrie …..Tear The Fascists Down

Trivia Questions: Happy Bastille Day !

• ^ Who was it that actually stormed the Bastille?
• ^^ Why did they storm the Bastille?
• ^^^ Did anyone die in the raid?
• ^^^^ How many prisoners did the revolutionaries release?
• ^^^^^ What happened to the Bastille itself?

Big Hello: Khulumkha – Kokborok (India) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Sometimes, when a door closes, you need to nail a board over it. --Submitted by jm of ks

Image of the Week: Pencils are still down in the writer's strike. I found this picture of Stephen Colbert while I was watching my second (more?) month of reruns of Stephen Colbert.

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 99% of librarian vacations include a visit to at least one library. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

The largest burger in McDonald's in Israel is called the “Big America.” / Today I learned that the United States has more museums than Starbucks and McDonald's combined. FYI: Starbucks and McDonald's have a combined total of zero museums.

..........My poor feet have traveled a hot dusty road.........Woody Guthrie …..Pastures Of Plenty

Moonbeam: I believe the second half of one's life is meant to be better than the first half. The first half is finding out how you do it. And the second half is enjoying it. --Frances Lear

Question of the Week: Why not?

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Darwin Lange, of Mandan, ND: Name a sports facility in two words. (This is a general term, not a specific place.) Three consecutive letters in the first word also appear consecutively in the same order in the second word. If you reverse these three letters, you'll name something seen in this sports facility. What is it?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are. --Somerset Maugham

To “have an American” in Ireland means pleasuring yourself. (Yank – Wank) / In Canada, when you drive up to a stop sign and no one is around, so you slow down but don't actually stop before accelerating again, you're doing an “American stop”. / The United States and the rest of the world only seem to reach consensus when it's -40°.

..........Your power is turning our darkness to dawn.........Woody Guthrie …..Roll On Columbia

^ The revolutionaries who stormed the Bastille were mostly craftsmen and store owners who lived in Paris. They were members of a French social class called the Third Estate. There were around 1000 people who participated in the attack.

Almanac: It is Friday, July 14, 2023. The moon will be new on Monday (7/17) and it is in Gemini. It is International Nude Day, National Macaroni and Cheese Day, Robin Hood Days, Shark Awareness Day, and Bastille Day (France, Guiana, Polynesia, Guadel, and Martinique). Because it is the second Friday it is also Collector Car Appreciation Day and National Motorcycle Day.

Among those born on this day were Andrea del Sarto (1486), James Abbott McNeill Whistler (1834), Emmeline Pankhurst (1858), Gustav Klimt (1862), Owen Wister (1869), Ossip Zadkine (1890), Irving Stone (1903), Woodrow Wilson Guthrie (1912), Gerald Ford (1913), Frances Lear (1923), Harry Dean Stanton (1926), John Chancellor (1927), Polly Bergen (19320), Roosevelt Grier (1932), Chris Cross (1952), and Princess Victoria (1977).

On July 14 citizens of Paris stormed the Bastille prison (1789), opium was exempted from federal tariff duty (1832), postage stamps began provisionally used (NYC, 1845), machine made ice was first demonstrated (1850), the first Industrial Exposition opened (NYC, 1853), Goddard patented his first liquid fueled rocket design (1914), the first commercial air flight deplaned in Hawaii (1927), Citation became the first horse to win a million dollars (1951), Greyhouse bought Trailways for $80 million (1987), and Steve Miller got a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame (1987).

Night Sky, 7/14: After dark Altair shines in the east-southeast. It's the second-brightest star on the eastern side of the sky, after Vega high to its upper left. The third star of the Summer Triangle is Deneb, less bright, to their left. Above Altair by a finger-width at arm's length is little Tarazed, 3rd magnitude and orange, which helps to identify it. Altair is a fast-spinning, white type-A star, somewhat larger and hotter than the Sun, only 17 light-years away. It spins so fast that, using interferometry, astronomers were able in 1999 to confirm that it is widened around its equator into a very ellipsoid shape. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: The pearls of Seattle

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A dictator walks into a bar and orders everybody around. --Dave Lippman

This Week: Saturday, July 15 – National Give Something Away Day & World Youth Skills Day & St. Swithin's Day (If it rains on St. Swithin's Day, it will rain for 40 days, but if it is fair, 40 days of fair weather will follow)

Sunday, July 16 – National Ice Cream Day & World Snake Day

Night Sky, 7/16: The tail of Scorpius is low due south after dark, to the lower right of the Sagittarius Teapot. How low depends on how far north or south you live: the farther south, the higher. Look for the two stars especially close together in the tail. These are Lambda and fainter Upsilon Scorpii, known as the Cat's Eyes. They're 0.6° apart and canted at an angle; the cat is tilting its head to the right. And the cat has a bleary eye; Upsilon is fainter than Lambda (they're magnitudes 2.6 and 1.6). Both are blue-white giants, 500 and 700 light years away, respectively. Yes, the fainter one is the nearer one. Between the Cat's Eyes and the Teapot's spout are the open star clusters M6 and especially M7.

Monday, July 17 – National Hot Dog Day & Record Store Day & National Get Out of the Doghouse Day

Tuesday, July 18 – National Caviar Day & Nelson Mandela International Day

Wednesday, July 19 – Flitch Day & International Balloon Dog Day & Take Your Poet To Work Day

Night Sky, 7/19: Venus (magnitude –4.7) is the "Evening Star" dominating the low west in twilight. It's dropping sunward faster now day by day. It sets while twilight is still in progress.

Thursday, July 20 – Space Exploration Day & World Chess Day & Moon Day

In Norway, “Full Texas” (Halt Texas) is an idiom that describes a situation that's completely unhinged. / Pretty much any joke made by a foreigner is called an “American joke” in Japan. / Do Transformers get car insurance or health insurance? If they are US immigrants they get neither.

..........Stick some stamps on the top of my head.........Woody Guthrie …..Mail Myself To You

^^The Bastille was rumored to be full of political prisoners and was a symbol to many of the oppression of the king. It also had stores of gunpowder that the revolutionaries needed for their weapons.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Steal a man's wallet and he will be poor for a week. Teach him to be a writer and he will be poor for the rest of his life.

Moonbeam: I am a Ford not a Lincoln. --Gerald Ford

Video of the Week: Emmeline Pankhurst and her Daughter (1910) film (2:43)

There is something that Governments care for far more than human life, and that is the security of property, and so it is through property that we shall strike the enemy. Be militant each in your own way. I incite this meeting to rebellion. --Emmeline Pankhurst

In Russian, roller coasters are called “American Mountains.” (In French, Spanish, and Italian, they're called “Russian Mountains”. / In Japan, an “American coffee” is plain and weak black brewed coffee. / If you speak 3 languages, you're trilingual. If you speak 2 languages, you're bilingual. If you speak 1 language you're from the United States.

..........Tell me, what were their names? Tell me, what were their names.........Woody Guthrie …..The Sinking Of The Reuben James

^^^ Around 100 of the revolutionaries were killed during the fighting. After surrendering, Governor de Launay and three of his officers were killed by the crowd.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Because I can no longer see it, the washing-up ceases to exist! Who said philosophy had no practical uses? --Submitted by Philosophy Matters

Weird Word of the Week: Embolalia – Automatic speech; verbalization that occurs without conscious effort by the individual, such as repetitions and filler words. https://www.thoughtco.com/embolalia-speech-term-1690644

Dragon of the Week: Quox, a dragon of Oz

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Prevent a dog or cat from shedding all over the house. Dampen a sheet of Bounty Paper Towel and run it over the animal. The paper towel collects the loose hair. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bounty2.html

Brass knuckles in France are called “poing américain.” / Potlucks are called “American parties” in the Netherlands. --jugglerO / The United States doesn't use the metric system because the founding fathers had a foot fetish.

...........Comes a-rumbling down the canyon to meet that salty tide.........Woody Guthrie …..Grand Coulee Dam

^^^^ There were 7 prisoners in the Bastille on 14 July, 1789. They included 4 forgers, an Irish “lunatic”, a deviant young aristocrat imprisoned at the behest of his family**, and a man who once conspired to kill King Louis XV. **My source claimed that the Marques de Sade had been there earlier but was removed for shouting out the windows at people passing by. So this would have been some other deviant young aristocrat. Other sources suggest he was still in the Bastille at the time.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Thanks for introducing me to minimalism. It's the least you could do.--Submitted by ma of va

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Imaginarium 2023 (14-16, Louisville, KY) Your Imagination Is The Foundation. https://www.entertheimaginarium.com/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Data Science And Social Justice (20-28, Providence, RI) https://icerm.brown.edu/programs/ep-23-dssj/

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Race Track --> car

If you're “american style” in Chile, you're going commando. -DoveMagnet / The Dutch recently started referring to elections where the debate is media-focused, and not about the policy but about the person, as “American elections”. / The difference between a computer and a citizen of the United States is that the American doesn't have trouble shooting.

..........I've been ridin' in blind passengers, dead-enders, kickin' up cinders.........Woody Guthrie …..Hard Travelin'

^^^^^ Over the next five months, the Bastille was destroyed and turned into a pile of ruins. Today, the site of the Bastille is a square in Paris called the Place de la Bastille. There is a monumental tower in the center of the square commemorating the event.

Quote of the Week: You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete. --Buckminister Fuller

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Just for a moment, think of how many gay hairdressers have done Christian weddings beautifully. --Submitted by 98%

Today's Peace of History, July 14, 1917: 16 women from the National Women’s Party were arrested while picketing the White House demanding universal women’s suffrage; they were charged with obstructing traffic. ~~This action is dramatized in the movie Iron Jawed Angels.

In Britain, big refrigerators with side-by-side doors are known as “American fridges.” / A bedroom with a shower in it is an “American bedroom” in Malta. “No doors or walls separating it from the bedroom or anything.” The toilet and sink had their own room down the hall. / The United States seems to have successfully prevented a second wave of Corona by keeping the first one going.

..........You can't scare me, I'm sticking to the union.........Woody Guthrie …..Union Maid

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle July 14, 2023, nAtional ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: We are bound together by the most powerful of all ties, our fervent love for freedom and independence, which knows no homeland but the human heart. --Gerald Ford

Cost of War:

• As of 07/13/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $211.698,881,407.
• As of 07/06/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $211,125,827,702.
• As of 07/13/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,150,400,460,169.
• As of 07/06/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,148,799,841,293.
• As of 07/13/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,141,655,802,945.
• As of 07/06/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,141,033,309,631.
• As of 07/13/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,145,593,522,812.
• As of 07/06/23 Veterans Care since 2001:$3,133,459,328,426.
• As of 07/13/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,033,137,692,995.
• As of 07/06/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,031,922,340,901.
• As of 07/13/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,682,488,786,207.
• As of 07/06/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,666,343,162,724.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Trust in God, She will provide. --Emmeline Pankhurst

Famous Last Words: "I've been promised bail, ladies and gentlemen, by my office. This is John Chancellor, somewhere in custody. --Chancellor was the NBC political correspondent covering the 1964 Republican Convention.

..........So long, it's been good to know yuh.........Woody Guthrie …..Dusty Old Dust

Multiple-choice questions are called “American questions” in Israel. --AaronRamsay / Switzerland has Doritos with “Cool American” flavor. / A Canadian visits the United States and gets held at gunpoint by a stranger. The stranger says, “Give me all your money and I'll let you live.” The Canadian replies gleefully, “Oh, You must be what they call a doctor.”

May Peace fill your heart

And Joy fill your mind

prairie mama

christine

Last

Laugh:

jEan's ePistle

 Famous First Words: Whereas the Government of the Republic of Hawaii... Joint Resolution to provide for annexing the Hawaiian Islands to the United States.

Happy Birthday to Jean Kerr! Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze? --Jean Kerr / Some enterprising youth should go from door to door on Christmas morning peddling batteries. --Jean Kerr

Alternative Titles for the Iliad: 1) Hell, Naughty Trojans, It's Murder Time

..........I hear the clock a-tickin' on the mantel shelf .........The Beatles with Ringo Starr …..Don't Pass me By ~~One of Ringo's solo song writing credits.

God almighty made women and the Rockefeller gang of thieves made the ladies. --Mother Harris Jones

It is a chilly (66°F) Friday morning. Clouds have formed a cover across the sky, but the sun has come up enough to find thin spots. Shadows are manifesting themselves on the shed wall. A breeze from the southeast insists that we notice the chill. The willow branches dance and the mulberry tree waves in appreciation or sympathy. Birds are relatively silent at the moment; perhaps they have decided to sleep in while the cool wind blows. An aroma filled with summer abundance, foliage and flowers gives the world a smell of hope and plenty. Puck has been for his walk and is now sleeping on the blanket that he has pulled off this pillow so that he can take up an extra spot on the floor. (He thinks our room is half his so he should get half the space.) He makes tiny snoring noises now and then. I am settled in at my computer. I glance out my window to check the willow dance once more just before writing to you. I raise my steaming cup of decaf to you, good morning.

May your weekend be filled with peace, love, and rock and roll, ePistliers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Most people don't think I'm as old as I am until they hear me stand up. --Submitted by INRITH

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left. --Jean Kerr / Some people have such a talent for making the best of a bad situation that they go around creating bad situations so they can make the best of them. --Jean Kerr

2) 100 Times A Therapist Was Needed

..........Two pounds, ten a week, that was my pay.........The Beatles with Ringo Starr …..Maggie Mae

Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday to Robert Heinlein.

• ^ Do you have any idea where Robert was born?
• ^^ Which military academy did Robert attend?
• ^^^ Robert's first novel was not published in his lifetime. Do you know which novel that is?
• ^^^^ How many novels did Robert write, more or less?
• ^^^^^ What are his most popular works? (or just your favorite?)

Big Hello: Chikaano – Kosati (Louisiana) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Image of the Week: I goggled Dive Bar Lawrence KS and came up with 2 names: Harbour Lights and Louise's. This is Harbour Lights

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 14% of public library employees are only there so they can get the bestsellers before everyone else. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house. --Jean Kerr / The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible. --Jean Kerr

3) This War Really Wasn't Worth It

..........I need somebody to love.........The Beatles with Ringo Starr …..With A Little Help From My Friends

Moonbeam: Everything is theoretically impossible, until it is done. --Robert Heinlein

Question of the Week: Where's the beef?

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Greg VanMechelen, of Berkeley, Calif. Name a well-known TV character (5,6). Change the first letter of her first name to a Y and read it backward. You'll get a synonym of the character's last name. Who was it?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: England has no eye bank but it does have a Liverpool. --Submitted by sd of co

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas? --Jean Kerr / Now the thing about having a baby – and I can't be the first person to have noticed this – is that thereafter you have it. --Jean Kerr

4) Fight Club: But It's Just Achilles

..........And the band begins to play.........The Beatles with Ringo Starr …..Yellow Submarine

^ Heinlein was born in Butler, MO but his family moved to Kansas City when he was a few months old. He grew up in KC. ~~I was unable to find an address for him. If you look up Disney, you find addresses of his house, his business, pictures, stories.

Almanac: It is Friday, July 7, 2023. The moon will be at the last quarter on Monday (7/10) and is in Pisces. July 7^th is Chocolate Day, Dive Bar Day, Father-Daughter Take A Walk Together Day, Global Forgiveness Day, National Day of Rock n' Roll, and Tell The Truth Day.

Among those born on this day were Gustav Mahler (1850), Marc Chagall (1887), George Cukor (1899), Satchel Paige (1906), Robert Heinlein (1907), Gian Carlo Menotti (1911), William Kunstler (1919), Jean Kerr (1923), Doc Severinson (1927), Ringo Starr (1940), and Shelley Duvall (1949).

On July seventh Kings College in NYC opened (1754, Renamed Columbia College), the US annexed California (1846), Peters discovered Asteroid #92 (Undina, 1867), the US annexed Hawaii (1898), Charlois discovered asteroid #537 (1904), Hertzsprung discovered asteroid #1702 (1924), Mother Frances Xavier Cabarini was canonized as the first American saint (1946), and the first solar-powered aircraft crossed the English Channel (1980).

Night Sky, 7/7: Upper left of Venus in twilight, Mars is now less than 2° from Regulus, which is slightly brighter. Once you've spotted Venus after sunset (or possibly even before sunset), how much longer until you definitely detect the star, then the planet? Regulus is magnitude 1.4, Mars is 1.7, meaning Mars is one-third fainter. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: I must go down the the seas again –John Masefield

This Week: Saturday, July 8 – Bald Is In Day & SCUD Day (Savor the Comic, Unplug the Drama) & International Skinny Dip Day

Sunday, July 9 – Deadhead Day & National Dimples Day & National No Bra Day

Night Sky, 7/9 : Low in the north-northeast after dark, the upright W of Cassiopeia is slowly beginning to tilt and climb. Cassiopeia is supposed to represent an ancient queen of Ethiopia, or maybe her chair. Above her is the house-shaped constellation pattern of her dimmer husband, King Cepheus. Or maybe that's his blocky head in profile

Monday, July 10 – Don't Step On A Bee Day & Kitten Day & US Energy Independence Day

Tuesday, July 11 – Cheer Up The Lonely Day & Cow Appreciation Day & Make Your Own Sundae Day

Wednesday, July 12 – National Jello-O Day & Simplicity Day & Paper Bag Day

Night Sky, 7/12: Jupiter (magnitude –2.2, in Aries) rises around 1 or 2 am in the east-northeast. By the beginning of dawn it's shining well up in the east.

Thursday, July 13 – National Be Your Own Hero Day & National Nitrogen Ice Cream Day

5) Patroclus Didn't Deserve This

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation. --Jean Kerr / Affairs have been going on since Tolstoy. --Jean Kerr

6) Thing Historians Pretend Aren't Gay

..........The biggest fool that's ever hit the big time.........The Beatles with Ringo Starr …..Act Naturally

^^ Heinlein entered the Naval Academy in June 1925. He graduated in 1929, 20th in a class of 243, and was commissioned with the rank of Ensign. He actually stood fifth in academics in his class, but discipline considerations lowered his class standing to 20th.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: You can have my fireworks when you pry them from my cold dead fingers, which are right over there by the sidewalk. -- 98% -_Submitted by sb of ar

Moonbeam: Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again. -Robert Heinlein

Video of the Week: Satchel Paige pitching (4:23)

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Which presidential candidate's video will be the next to go viral? Simone Biles will do a tik tok with all the Republican candidates on how to correctly flip on whether or not Trump should go to jail. --Adam Burke Wait Wait Don't Tell me 7/1/2

In Georgia where children work day and night in the cotton mills they have just passed a bill to protect song birds. What about the little children from whom all song is gone? --Mary Harris Jones

I'm congenitally vague. --Jean Kerr / I make mistakes; I'll be the second to admit it. --Jean Kerr

7) Nothing Means Anything We're All Going To Die

.........Got to pay your dues if you wanna sing the blues.........Ringo Starr …..It Don't Come Easy

^^^ The first novel that Heinlein wrote, For Us, the Living: A Comedy of Customs (1939), did not see print during his lifetime, but Robert James tracked down the manuscript and it was published in 2003.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I've had crunchwraps more supreme than this court. --Submitted by 98%

Weird Word of the Week: Callithump – a somewhat riotous parade, accompanied with the blowing of tin horns and other discordant noises. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/callithump#:~:text=%3A%20a%20noisy%20boisterous%20band%20or%20parade

Dragons of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Warm rolls in the microwave oven. Wrap each roll in a sheet of Bounty Paper Towels and then place the covered roll in the microwave oven. The paper towel absorbs moisture, preventing the rolls from getting soggy. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bounty2.html

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. --Jean Kerr. / Even though a number of people have tried, no one has ever found a way to drink for a living. --Jean Kerr

8) Hector Gets His Ass Handed To Him

..........Get yourself together now.........Ringo Starr …..Back Off Boogaloo

^^^^ Heinlein bibliography includes 32 novels, 59 short stories and 16 collections published during his life. I am assuming that For Us, The Living brings it to 33.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Radio active cats have 18 half-lives.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Anime Midwest (7-9, Chicago's O'hare Hyatt Regency) Anime Midwest is allot of fun. ~~Wonder who a lots it? https://www.animemidwest.com/event/388

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Festival of the Future (6-8, Munich, Germany) Collective Intelligence of the brightest minds in technology... https://festivalderzukunft.com/EN

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Della Street (from "Perry Mason") --> alley, street

One of the most difficult things to contend with in a hospital is the assumption on the part of the staff that because you have lost your gall bladder you have also lost your mind. --Jean Kerr / When the grandmothers of today hear the word “Chippendale”, they don't necessarily think of chairs. --Jean Kerr

9) There Is No Heterosexual Explanation For This

..........Like the FBI and the CIA and the BBC.........The Beatles with Ringo Starr …..Dig It

^^^^^ Some of his most popular works include Glory Road, as well as his controversial bestsellers Starship Troopers, Stranger in a Strange Land, and the short story All You Zombies. Heinlein's books were among the first works of science fiction to reach bestseller status in both hardcover and paperback.

Quote of the Week: If you claim to be someone's ally but aren't getting hit by the stones thrown at them, you're not standing close enough. --Stan Mitchell

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I don't wanna hear you celebrating the 4^th if you're pleading the 5^th in regards to the 6^th.

Today's Peace of History, July 7, 1979: 2,000 American Indian activists and anti-nuclear demonstrators marched through the Black Hills of western South Dakota to protest the development of uranium mines on sacred native lands.

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table. --Jean Kerr / You don't seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help. --Jean Kerr

10) F*ck It Up, Achilles

..........I met you in the morning waiting for the tides of time.........The Beatles with Ringo Starr …..What Goes On

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle July 7, 2023, Jean's ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith, Lawrence, KS

Moonbeam: Don't ever become a pessimist...a pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun, and neither can stop the march of events. --Robert Heinlein

Cost of War:

• As of 07/06/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $211, 125,827,702.
• As of 06/29/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $210,558,145,033.
• As of 07/06/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,148,799,841,293.
• As of 06/29/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,147,214,206,403.
• As of 07/06/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,141,033,309,631.
• As of 06/29/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,140,416,666,710.
• As of 07/06/23 Veterans Care since 2001:$3,133,459,328,426.
• As of 06/29/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,121,439,638,102.
• As of 07/06/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,031,922,340,901.
• As of 06/29/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,030,718,354,625.
• As of 07/06/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,666,343,162,724.
• As of 06/29/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,650,348,758,760.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Not all the coal that is dug warms the world. --Mary Harris Jones

Famous Last Words: This is Bud Collier reminding you to tell the truth. --Sign-off from the TV program To Tell The Truth

..........In our hideaway beneath the waves.........The Beatles with Ringo Starr …..Octopus' Garden ~~Ringo's other solo song-writing credit.

11) Someone Is Responsible For This But Not Helen --Submitted by Philosophy Matters

Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he becomes polite. --Jean Kerr / A man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself – like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.--Jean Kerr

May Peace warm your cockles

And Joy cool your jets

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

ePistle, mY aSteroid

 Famous First Words: Scarlett O'Hara was not beautiful... Margaret Mitchell Gone With The Wind

The United Nations has declared June 30^th to be International Asteroid Day (A/RES/71/90). FYI: All asteroids are vegetarian because they aren't meteors. / Asteroids are nature's way of asking, “How's that space program coming along?”

..........Just can't get my poor self together..........Lena Horne …..Stormy Weather

You must be the change you wish to see in the world --Mahatma Gandhi

It is a muggy Friday morning. The 83°F temperature and the 68% relative humidity are already brutal and the 12 mph north wind makes little difference. Trees are blowing, willows are thrashing and yet the oppressive heat remains. Only the hollyhocks seem to love it. At least, I keep telling myself, it's still morning. I ran 4 errands this morning finding people all over town in grumpy moods. So now I'm in a grumpy mood and finding it hard to write an upbeat, great day paragraph here. Home On The Range missed the verse about being hot and sweaty before 10 am and how it makes discouraging word flow from the mouth into the heated air. Ah, Kansas in summer, where hell goes on vacation. Other than that, have a great holiday.

Wishing you a long and safe weekend, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Stop complaining about your life. There are literally people living in Florida. --Submitted by 98%

Alice Asteroid said no when Allen Asteroid proposed. She was afraid of comet-ment. / They're called hemorrhoids because the word asteroids was already taken.

..........Is it a cocktail, this feeling of joy..........Lena Horne …..At Long Last Love

Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday, N.O.W.

• ^ What is the pesky preposition between the O and the W?
• ^^ Why was that set of women all in Washington DC that day?
• ^^^ Who was the first president of N.O.W?
• ^^^^ How big is N.O.W. now?
• ^^^^^ Who is the current president of N.O.W?

Big Hello: Ko na mauri – Kiribati (Micronesia) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Jeffrey Update: Jeff received his first disability check yesterday. It was for the month of June 2023. This means his monthly checks will arrive regularly. We haven't heard about his back pay yet. But it is very much progress. Sigh.

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm triangulating with the coordinates: I don't know, I don't care, and I don't give a crap.

Image of the Week: This is the surface of Dimorphos, the asteroid on which NASA landed The Dart September 2022

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: The average librarian's cardigan conceals two pencils, one flask, and one emergency kitten. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Wonder if there were asteroid deniers among the dinosaurs? / All they were saying is that the asteroids are a woke hoax.

..........I intend to be independently blue..........Lena Horne …..Love Me Or Leave Me

Moonbeam: Shadow owes its birth to light. --John Gay

Question of the Week: How many boxes of top secret documents do you have in your bathroom?

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Joe Becker, of Palo Alto. Take the name of a fish (6). Add the name of a mammal (5). Rearrange all the letters to get the name of a reptile. What was it? NPR Sunday Puzzle 6/25/23

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Triscuits are the perfect snack for anyone that has ever had the urge to eat wicker furniture. --Submitted by INRITH

I tried to read an article about an asteroid colliding with Earth. I couldn't finish it; it hit too close to home. / Did you hear what NASA said about the asteroid? “No comet.”

..........Here's to better days...........Lena Horne …..Honeysuckle Rose

^ It's the National Organization FOR Women.

Almanac: It is Friday, June 30, 2023. The moon will be full (Buck) on Monday (7/3) and is in Scorpio. It is Leap Second Time Adjustment Day, National Meteor Watch Day, NOW (National Organization For Women) Day, and Social Media Day. Because it is the last Friday it is also Drive Your Corvette to Work Day.

Among those born on this day were John Gay (1685), Elizabeth Kortright Monroe (1768), William Wheeler (1819), Wilfrid Pelletier (1896), David Wayne (1916), Buddy Rich & Lena Horne (1917), Susan Hayward (1918), Harry Blackstone Jr (1934), Florence Ballard (Supremes, 1943), and Mike Tyson (1966),

On June thirtieth Congress created the Indian Territory (now Oklahoma, 1834), the Excelsior diamond was discovered (1893), Korea declared independence from China (1894), Asteroid #504 Cora was discovered (1902), a giant fireball impacted Central Siberia (1908), the Pure Food & Drug Act and the Meat Inspection Act were both adopted (1906), Gandhi was arrested for the first time (South Africa, 1914), Gone with the Wind was published & the 40 hour work week was made law (1936), the US Fish & Wildlife Service was established (1940), the New Orleans mint ceased operation (1942), NAACP began at attack on school segregation and discrimination (1951), Rwanda & Burundi became independent (1962), Robert Lawrence Jr was named the first black astronaut (1967), Spain ceded Ifni to Morocco (1969), the first game was played in Cincinnati's Riverfront Stadium (1970), and New York State legislature passed the Staten Island Secession Bill (1989).

Night Sky, 6/30: Mars and Venus are now at their minimum separation for this apparition, 3.6° apart. Mars will remain in low twilight view for more than a month to come. Venus will drop away faster. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Max and Ollie and the Very Big Pig

This Week: Saturday, July 1 – Canada Day & International Tartan Day & Medicare's Birthday

Sunday, July 2 – National Wildland Firefighter Day & World UFO Day

Night Sky, 7/2: The Moon, just a day from full, shines inside the Sagittarius Teapot (for North America). Use binoculars to piece out the Teapot through the moonlight. Note: The Teapot is about twice the width of a typical binocular's field of view, so expect to sweep around a bit.

Monday, July 3 – International Plastic Bag Free Day & Stay Out Of The Sun Day & Superman Day

Tuesday, July 4 – Independence Day & Lou Gehrig Day & National BBQ Ribs Day

Wednesday, July 5 – Bikini Day & Thong Day & Work Without Your Hands Day

Night Sky, 7/5: Saturn (magnitude +0.9, in dim Aquarius) rises around 11 pm or midnight. By the beginning of dawn it's in steadiest telescopic view high in the south-southeast.

Thursday, July 6 – Earth at Aphelion & International Kissing Day aka World Kiss Day

Early humans survived the asteroids that killed the dinosaurs by social distancing. They stayed 56 million years apart. / It's well known in scientific circles that asteroids have great comet sense.

..........Whether near to me or far..........Lena Horne …..Night And Day

^^ NOW was established on June 30, 1966 in Washington, DC, by people attending the Third National Conference of the Commission on the Status of Women.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I knocked over a plant in the kitchen but my cat saw me so I had to spray myself with water so I could show the law applies to everyone. --Lord Hugh Mungus --Submitted by dr of oh

Moonbeam: On the choice of friends, our good or evil name depends. --John Gay

Video of the Week: The Supremes (with Florence Ballard) Stop! In the Name of Love (3:20)

Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will. --Mahatma Gandhi

The black hole actually liked swallowing asteroids, but she wished they were a little meteor. / Some days all the asteroids seem to be behind Uranus.

..........Only hoop-DE-doop songs..........Lena Horne …..From This moment On

^^^ Betty Friedan, best known for her 1963 book The Feminine Mystique, which changed the conversation on traditional gender roles, was chosen as the Now's first president.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: She can fold a fitted sheet. She must be a witch. --Submitted by Stirring The Cauldron

Weird Word of the Week: Abatjour – skylight or device to direct light into a room https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/abat-jour

Dragon of the Week: Apache Dragon

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Dry fresh herbs. Place the herbs on a sheet of Bounty Paper Towels and heat them in the microwave oven for approximately one minute. Repeat for thirty-second intervals if necessary. Store the dried herbs in Ziploc Storage Bags, labeled appropriately, in the pantry for up to one years. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bounty2.html

Freddie Mercury finally has an asteroid named after him. His family has said how great it is that Freddie is immortalized in rock; they really appreciate the sediment. / So, it was a single asteroid that wiped out all of the dinosaurs? Why were they all standing in one place?

..........Lena Horne …..I Got Rhythm

^^^^ NOW consists of 550 chapters in all 50 states and in Washington DC. It is the largest feminist organization in the US with around 500,000 members.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Age improves with wine.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: SoonerCon 2023 (6/20-7/2, Norman, OK) Assemble Engage Transform https://soonercon.com/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Second Metaverse Expo Tokyo (28-30, Tokyo, Japan) 東京ビッグサイト https://www.tradefairdates.com/Metaverse+Expo-M8016/Tokyo.html

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Salmon + tiger = Gila monster

There was an asteroid impact just outside of town and I drove out to see. I saw a glowing green celestial stone inside the impact crater. As I was moving toward it, I became gloomy and even suicidal. That's when I heard someone shouting, “Hey, you're in a depression.”. / My band is called the Asteroid Belt; it's the biggest rock band in the galaxy.

..........She loves the free, fresh wind in her hair..........Lena Horne …..The Lady Is A Tramp

^^^^^ Christian F. Nunes, MBA, MS, LCSW,  became NOW president in August 2020. As the second African American president in the organization’s history, the youngest person of color, and the youngest president in more than 40 years, Nunes is leading the organization through an intersectional lens, bringing a diverse coalition of grassroots activists to work against structural sexism and racism.

Quote of the Week: The most thought-provoking thing in our thought-provoking time is that we are still not thinking. --Martin Heidegger

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Never underestimate the importance of abandoning crap you don't need. --Submitted by HPF

Today's Peace of History, June 30, 1870: Ada Kepley became the first woman in America to graduate with a formal law degree from Union College of Law, now named Northwestern University of Chicago.

Now science believes that before the asteroid hit, the dinosaurs in the Mediterranean area were Falafel Raptors. / She was so fat she wore the asteroid belt to keep her pants up.

..........There's a somebody I'm longing to see..........Lena Horne …..Someone To Watch Over Me

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle June 30, 2023, ePistle?, mY aSteroid Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: The brave love mercy and delight to save. --John Gay.

Cost of War:

• As of 06/29/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $210,558,145,033.
• As of 06/22/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $210,012,747,568.
• As of 06/29/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,147,214,206,403.
• As of 06/22/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,145,690,870,205.
• As of 06/29/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,140,416,666,710.
• As of 06/22/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,139,824,276,529.
• As of 06/29/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,121,439,638,102.
• As of 06/22/23 Veterans Care since 2001:$3,109,892,917,440.
• As of 06/29/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,030,718,354,625.
• As of 06/22/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,029,561,795,507.
• As of 06/29/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,650,348,758,760.
• As of 06/22/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,634,984,273,423.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is the truth. --Mahatma Gandhi

Famous Last Words: That this Act shall be in force and effect from and after the first day of January, nineteen hundred and seven. Approved, June 30, 1906 --Pure Food And Drug Act

..........And one more for the road..........Lena Horne …..One For My Baby

The difference between cortisone and comet – one's a steroid the other is an asteroid. / Bodybuilding dinosaurs died of asteroid overdose.

May Peace light your way

And Joy clear your path

prairie mama

christine

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