pErused ePistle

 Famous First Words: The shipment or transportation, in any manner or by any means whatsoever... Webb Act of 1913 The Webb-Kenyon Act

It's Reading Is Fundamental Week (14-20)! I spent all day reading, it was bound to happen. / Reading, now there's a novel idea.

..........Just because we get around........The Who (Peter Townsend) …..My Generation

You show me a capitalist and I'll show you a bloodsucker. --Malcolm X

It is a very gray Friday morning with wind gusts whipping the willow branches. 66°F is pleasant enough but at the bottom of my computer screen it says “rain coming”. It has a cute umbrella icon perhaps to ward off the rather sinister “rain coming” that sounds like it's borrowed from campfire ghost stories. A gust of wind just blew willow branches into a frenzy and I'm bringing up the weather channel because I DO need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows. In this case it blows from the north. I hear birds, but I don't see any.* Puck's early morning nap snoring drowns out the bird. As the first drops grace my window, I get up to freshen my coffee and stretch before sitting and writing to you. What a beautiful morning.

*Diversion: This week our storage shed roof became a flight school for a family of sparrows. Mama was still feeding the little ones mouth to mouth. For a long time the little ones just walked around the roof stretching their feathers. Then they attempted to fly from roof edge to tree branch – maybe a foot. It wasn't very windy. Initial landings were awkward but successful. Several landings involved smashing into a parent. The next morning, they all gathered on the roof and flew off together and they haven't been back.

Hope your weekend earns a Pulitzer, dear hearts and gentle people

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Some people are wise; some people are otherwise. --Submitted by INRITH

I tried to read a book on gravity but it was too heavy. / I started reading this book on anti-gravity machines; I couldn't put it down.

..........Daddy never sleeps at night........The Who (Peter Townsend) …..Squeeze Box

Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday to the Postcard!

• ^ Do you have any idea what a “mailed card” refers to?
• ^^ How does a piece of mail qualify as a postcard?
• ^^^ When was the first US postcard patented?
• ^^^^ About how many postcards did the Post Office handle last year?
• ^^^^^ How much does it cost to mail a postcard these days.

Correction of the Week: I believe Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy's ancestors came from County Limerick' not her descendants; they came from Massachusetts with a little bit of leftover Limerick behind that. Not the other way around. Sorry and thanks to jb of ks

Big Hello: Hagare'enaam – Kawailsu (California) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I prefer my kale with a silent k. --Submitted by bc of tx

Image of the Week: The Exploratorium in San Francisco was free this Mother's Day. This is one of the giant inflatable sculptures exhibited there.

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 60% of librarians can't go out tonight because their cat is sick. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

February can't March but April May. / Hope these reading puns tickle your spine.

..........Smile and grin at the change all around........The Who (Peter Townsend) …..Won't Get Fooled Again

Moonbeam: The first rule in opera is the first rule in life: see to everything yourself. --Nellie Melba

Question of the Week: What's next?

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Mark Isaak, of Sunnyvale, Calif. Think of part of the human body whose name is a compound word (like fingertip or toenail). Add an N and rearrange the result to get another part of the body whose name is also a compound word. What body parts are these? NPR Sunday Puzzle 5/14/23

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Prophecy Class has been canceled due to unforeseen circumstances. --Submitted by TETD

I love to sit in the sun with a good book; it makes me, well, red. / I spent the summer barefoot in the Park reading fantasy and it became a hobbit.

..........And freedom tastes of reality........The Who (Peter Townsend) …..I'm Free

^ Envelopes were produced with pictures on them, and some people speculate that postcards are the direct descendants of these picture envelopes.

Almanac: It is Friday, May 19, 2023. The moon is new today and is in Taurus. It is May Ray Day, National Asian & Pacific Islander HIV/AIDS Awareness Day, National Bike to Work Day, National Chocolate Chip Day, National Hepatitis Testing Day, National Scooter Day, and Peace Officers Memorial Day. Because it is the third Friday it is also International Virtual Assistants Day, NASCAR Day, National Bike to Work Day, National Defense Transportation Day, National Pizza Party Day, and the O'Henry Pun-Off.

Among those born on this day were Giovanni della Robbia (1469), Innocent XI (1611), John Hopkins (1795), Alice Mary Smith (1839), Nellie Melba (1859), Waldorf Astor (1879), Ho CHi Minh (1890), Pol Pot (1915), Florence Chadwick (1918), David McLean (1922), Malcolm X (Little, 1925), Harvey Cox (1929), James Lehrer (1934), Nora Ephron (1941), Peter Townshend (1945), Phillip Rudd (1946), Grace Jones (1948), Dusty Hill (1949), and Yazz (1963).

On May nineteenth, Elizabeth I arrested Mary Queen of Scots (1568), Massachusetts Bay, Plymouth, Connecticut, & Hew Harbor formed the United Colonies of New England (1643), the French Legion of Honor formed (1802), Mexico ceded Texas to the US (1848), the Ringling Brothers premiered their circus (1884), Rice Institute became Rice University (1891), the Post Office authorized the use of privately printed postcards (1898), the Webb Act outlawed Japanese ownership of land (1913), the first annual Frog Jumping Jubilee was held (1928), White women won suffrage in South Africa (1930), and Pinter's Birthday Party premiered (1958).

Night Sky, 5/19: Bright Vega is now nicely up in the east-northeast after dark. Look for its faint little constellation Lyra, the Lyre, hanging down from it with its bottom canted to the right. Lyra's stars form a little equilateral triangle (Vega is one corner) and a parallelogram attached to the triangle's bottom. AND New Moon (exact at 11:53 am EDT). http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: In nature, nothing is perfect and everything is perfect. --Alice Walker ...cattails in winter

This Week: Saturday, May 20 – Morel Mushroom Day & National Rescue Dog Day & World Bee Day & World Fiddle Day

Sunday, May 21 – International Tea Day & Ride A Unicycle Day & World Day for Cultural Diversity

Night Sky, 5/21: This is the time of year when Leo the Lion starts walking downward toward the west right after dark, on his way to departing into the sunset in early summer. After nightfall, spot the brightest star fairly high in the west-southwest. That's Regulus, his forefoot. Regulus is also the bottom of the Sickle of Leo: a backward question mark about a fist and a half tall that outlines the lion's leading foot, chest, and mane.

Monday, May 22 – Harvey Milk Day & Sherlock Holmes Day & World Goth Day

Tuesday, May 23 – National Best Friend-in-Law Day & World Turtle Day

Wednesday, May 24 – Brother's Day & Morse Code Day

Night Sky, 5/24: Venus (passing Pollux and Castor in Gemini) is the brilliant "Evening Star" in the west from twilight through late evening. This month it shines about as high in the dusk as it ever gets. It doesn't set until a good 2½ hours after dark. In a telescope Venus is a dazzling little gibbous globe, 60% sunlit and 19 arc seconds in diameter. It's enlarging a little more every day while waning in phase. It'll be 50% lit in late May and will become a bigger, dramatically thinning crescent dropping low from mid-June through mid-July.

Thursday, May 25 – Cookie Monster's Birthday & National Tap Dance Day & Towel Day

I just finished a book on the ford Edsel with lots of details; it's an auto biography. / Escalator Literature: A step by step guide to reaching new levels.

..........I wanna drive my bus to my baby each day........The Who (Peter Townsend) …..Magic Bus

^^ To qualify as a postcard, a mail piece must be rectangular and meet these dimensions: At least 3-1/2” high X 5” long X 0.007” thick. No more than 4-1/4” high X 6” long X 0.016” thick, have finished corners that do not exceed a radius of 0.125”

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Do something with your life that will piss off a mediocre white man. --aeb of ??

Moonbeam: Never marry a man you wouldn't want to be divorced from. --Nora Ephron

Video of the Week: Katherine Hepburn as Mary Queen of Scots Long Address (3:53)

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: I wear a thick cottony high waisted brief...one of the things that's good about it is that it's big enough that if the plane goes down and, say, I survived and we're on a mountaintop or in the wilderness, my underwear is large enough that I can actually make a pup tent out of it. --Paul Poundstone Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 5/13/23

There is no more apartheid in South Africa than in the United States. --Malcolm X

I like to go into the woods and sit in the shade and read poet-tree. / The good witch couldn't read the spell book because it was written in curs-ive.

..........got such a supple wrist........The Who (Peter Townsend) …..Pinball Wizard

^^^ In 1861 the US Congress passed an act that allowed privately printed cards, weighing one ounce or under, to be sent in the mail. That same year John P. Charlton (other places seen as Carlton) copyrighted the first postcard in America.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Having kids makes you realize how dumb your lies used to sound to your parents.. --jm of ks

Weird Word of the Week: Fernweh – (n) wanderlust; an ache for distant places or a strong desire to travel. Germanic https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Fernweh

Dragon of the Week: Dragon from Templo Wat Karon in Thailand

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Store meats, chicken**, or fish in the freezer. Before wrapping meats, chicken**, or fish for the freezer, use a sheet of Bounty Paper Towel to pat dry any moist surfaces. **If chicken isn't “meat”, what is it? https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bounty.html

Better read than dead. / I'm reading a book of magic spells. It was fact checked by the Hazel's Spell Check App.

...........I know that you have 'cause there's magic in my eyes........The Who (Peter Townsend) …..I Can See For Miles

^^^^ In 2022 413,159,000 postcards and stamped cards were mailed in the US.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Do regular dogs see police dogs and think “Oh, no, it's a cop?” --Submitted by INRITH

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Fantasy Basel 2023 (18-20, Basel, Switzerland) .The most beautiful and versatile Comic Con in the universe https://fantasybasel.ch/en

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Habitat Expo 2023 (18-20, Mexico City, Mexico) Allies with a strategic purpose. https://www.cantonfair.net/event/5047-habitat-expo

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Eardrum → Underarm

Our music teacher told us to read band books. / Writing about time travel means you have to think outside the clocks.

..........I felt a little like a dying clown........The Who (Peter Townsend) …..Who Are You

^^^^^ The price of the postcard stamp rose from 40¢ to 44¢ in July 2022.

My Own Writing of the Week: I had two husbands but for the 20 years in-between I had no live-in lovers. My own creaming in my own time and under my own control was too important to me to share all my time with someone who thought it was their job to get me off. This did not prevent me from having a number of delightful affairs before, between, and after marriage. (And in my hippie, open, first marriage, during marriage.) I believe sex with other people was enhanced by my experience and knowledge of my own cunt.

I gave it up when I got married, for a while, at least. Vaguely, I felt that it would make me unfaithful, in some way that I could not have defined then and would have even less success defining today. I gave up the notion when I realized how little sex there actually is in marriage – at the time, it was the only respectable sex one was allowed and then, turns out, it wasn't much at all. I did not give it up for the second husband. I probably would have done it in front of him, if he had ever thought to ask.

The other promise I make to you and to myself is that I will not wallow in regret. There were men...and women too, for that matter...that I wanted and didn't have. If the memories aren't pleasant, forget 'em. The ones that worked made up a lifetime of love and was sufficient wherever the enough line fell.

I do not promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. The whole truth would include way too much boring stuff. I am writing from memory. Memory has its own notions of truth. When I broke up with my first, we both swore that the green corduroy shirt had belonged to us before we were together. Truth is susceptible to corrosion when it sits too long in memory. And memory rewrites truth to improve the image to the ego; it rewrites it when we sleep and dream, when we feel inadequate or guilty. The stories I've written, I remember as the truth with perhaps better dialogue. A few are exaggerated for the sake of humor or skewed to protect the innocent. Probably a few are way off base due to memory tricks or years of wishful thinking.

I began this writing out of a winter meditation. I believe that nature's longest -dark tea time of the soul- night is a night to look into your dark side, get out all the stuff one has stuck in their subconscious all year because they didn't want to look at it. Empty your head, throw that stuff away and let the dark bubble up and out and flow off into the long night and be gone. One year when I did that, all these stories came to mind. I had not stored them as ego trash; but I had not sat down and remembered them, one by one, for decades and they poured out of my mind into my fingers and onto the pages.

From Always Surrender by Christine Smith

Quote of the Week: I have great faith in the intelligence of the American viewer and reader to put two and two together and come up with four. --Jim Lehrer

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Live so that if your life were turned into a book, Florida would ban it.

Today's Peace of History, History, May 19, 1952: Playwright and activist Lillian Hellman advised the U.S. House Committee on Un-American Activities (HUAC) that she refused to testify against friends and associates, saying, “I cannot and will not cut my conscience to fit this year's fashions.”

I read that new psychology book and now I'm feeling forever Jung/ The new bar owner is a big reader; that's why the signature drink is Tequila Mockingbird.

..........I lovingly mock you noble lords........The Who (Peter Townsend) …..A Man In A Purple Dress

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, May 19, 2023, pErused ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Summer bachelors, like summer breezes, are never as cool as they pretend to be. --Nora Ephron

Cost of War:

• As of 05/18/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $207,244,231,101.
• As of 05/11/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $206,679,367,513.
• As of 05/18/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,137,958,106,863.
• As of 05/11/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,136,380,395,167.

• As of 05/18/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,136,817,073,927.
• As of 05/11/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,136,203,516,561.
• As of 05/18/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,051,276,239,278.
• As of 05/11/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,039,316,785,493.

• As of 05/18/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,023,690,601,511.
• As of 05/11/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,022,492,714,863.
• As of 05/18/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,556,988,264,356.
• As of 05/11/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,541,074,632,744.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

America is the first country...that can actually have a bloodless revolution. --Malcolm X

Famous Last Words: I know I was. --Harold Pinter The Birthday Party

..........Forgive me one more time........The Who (Peter Townsend) …..I Can't Explain

I'd love to hang out but my weekend is fully booked. / Metaphors be with you.

May Peace define your narrative

And Joy inform your plot

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

hUggy ePistle

 Famous First Words: Cats sleep fat and walk thin. --Rosalie Moore Catalogue

Happy Hug Your Cat Day! My cat: Wanna a hug? Too bad. / Cats always get their way because of purr-suation. / One cat leads to another. --Ernest Hemingway

..........Yeah, I've made up my mind..........Jimi Hendrix …..Foxy Lady

We affirm the philosophical or religious ideal of nonviolence as the foundation of our purpose, the presupposition of our belief, and the manner of our action. --Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee Founding Statement

It is mid morning on a cloudy Friday. The wind is making the willow branches dance a lively tarantella while birds fly about finding food and making nests. A slate gray sky without texture fills my window. Only the local quarrel of sparrows is sitting on tree limbs and passing the time of day. I am on my second cup of chocolate decaf, creamy and good. Lighted cones of sandalwood incense brighten the room. A robin lands on the peak of the storage shed roof and struts along it surveying the backyard until she sees something and flies away. Ah, it is late and I too will fly to my task and send this ePistle. Thanks for your attention.

Hope your weekend purrs like a kitten, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: For Mother's Day my mom would like the activism of her youth to not be for nothing. --The New Yorker

My cat: Hug Your Cat Day? What's wrong with you? / Meow means woof in cat. --George Carlin

..........Really ain't no use in my hanging around..........Jimi Hendrix …..Manic Depression

Trivia Questions: Have an enjoyable Limerick Day!

• ^ Where is Limerick City anyway?
• ^^ What river flows through Limerick?
• ^^^ What is the highest mountain in County Limerick?
• ^^^^ Ireland's tallest cathedral spire is on what cathedral in Limerick?
• ^^^^^ Which US president's ancestors came from Limerick?

Big Hello: Assalām 'alaikum – Kashmiri https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: God gave us all those blood types so that mosquitoes would have flavors.

Image of the Week:

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: How librarians shelve books: 45% - Library of Congress 52% Dewey Decimal 16% MESH 3% That cart over there. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

My cat: Hug Your Cat Day? Go hug a cactus. / A happy arrangement that many people prefer cats to other people and many cats prefer people to other cats. --Mason Cooley

..........way back yonder 'cross the hill..........Jimi Hendrix …..Red House

Moonbeam: Places that are empty of you are empty of life. --Dante Gabriel Rossetti

Question of the Week: What's the first thing you remember?

Puzzle of the Week: A tough one from Joe Becker: The "zh" sound can be spelled in many different ways in English — like the "s" in MEASURE; like the "g" in BEIGE; like the "z" in AZURE; like the "j" in MAHARAJAH; and like the "x" in LUXURY as some people pronounce it. The "zh" sound can also be spelled as a "t" in one instance. We know of only one common word this is true of, not counting its derivatives. What word is it?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's fun that some folks think a secret group of rich people control everything instead of the widely known group of rich people that control everything. --Solomon Georgio --Anti-Capitalist Education

My cat: Hug Your Cat Day? A robin just tried to hug me. I ate him. You're welcome. / If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you. If a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. --Alfred North Whitehead

..........You can hear a freight train coming from a thousand miles..........Jimi Hendrix …..Can You See Me

^ Limerick is a city in County Limerick in southwestern Ireland.

Almanac: It is Friday, May 12, 2023. The moon moved into the last quarter today and is in Aquarius. It is Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Awareness Day, Hug Your Cat Day, International Awareness Day for Chronic Immunological and Neurological Diseases, International Nurses Day, Limerick Day, National Hospital Day, One Day Without Shoes, and Odometer Day. Because it is the Friday before Mother's Day it is Military Spouse Appreciation Day and Child Care Provider Day.

Among those born on this day were Jan F van Bloom (1662), August II (1670), Giovanni Antonio Ricieri (1679), Justus Freiherr von Liebig (1803), Edward Lear (1812), Florence Nightingale (1820), Gabriel Dante Rossetti (1828), Halsey William Wilson (1868), Lincoln Ellsworth (1880), Heinrich Kirchner (1902), Katharine Hepburn (1907), Dorothy Crowfoot-Hodgkin (1910), Howard K. Smith (1914), Yogi Berra (1925), Burt Bacharach (1929), Millie Perkins (1938), Ronald Ziegler (1939), Anthony Newman (1941), Barry B Longyear (1942), Ian McLagen (1946), Steve Winwood (1948), Billy Squier (1950), Gabriel Byrne (1950), Billy Duffy (The Cult, 1961), Emilio Estevez (1962), Vanessa Williams (1963), and Stephen Baldwin (1966).

On May twelfth England and Netherlands formed the League of Augsburg (1689), Maria Theresa was crowned queen of Bohemia (1733), ice cream was first advertised (1777), Manitoba became a Canadian province (1870), street cars in Louisville, KY integrated (1871), the second NAACP conference was held (NYC, 1910), Mussolini ended woman's rights in Italy (1928), Elizabeth Taylor (fourth) married Eddie Fisher (second) (1960), H Rap Brown replaced Stokely Carmichael as chairman of Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee (SNCC, 1967), Jimi Hendrix released Are You Experienced (1957), the "March of Poor" led by Rev. Abernathy reached DC (1968), Harry A Blackmun was confirmed onto the Supreme Court (1970), James C Fletcher was appointed head of NASA (1986), Comic Relief 90 raised $4.7 million (4th, 1990), and Cheers closed up (1993).

Night Sky, 5/12: Last-quarter Moon (exact at 10:28 am, May 12th EDT). The Moon rises tonight as late as 3 am daylight saving time Saturday the 13th, with Saturn glowing a few degrees to its upper left. As dawn begins on Saturday they're higher and easier to see http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Only the guy who isn't rowing has time to rock the boat. --Jean-Paul Sartre

This Week: Saturday, May 13 – Indigenous Arts Day & International Migratory Bird Day & World Belly Dancing Day

Sunday, May 14 – Mother's Day & National Decency Day

Night Sky, 5/14: With the Moon gone from the evening sky, use binoculars or a telescope to see if you can spot the globular cluster M5, the Serpent's Gem, in Serpens Caput high in the southeast as evening grows late. At magnitude 5.6, it's pretty easy in binoculars on a moderately dark sky

Monday, May 15 – International Kangaroo Care Awareness Day & Straw Hat Day & Nylon Stockings Day

Tuesday, May 16 – Honor Our LGBT Elders' Day & National BBQ Day

Wednesday, May 17 – Graduation Tassel Day & World Hypertension Day

Night Sky, 5/17: Jupiter hides very low in the sunrise. It'll soon be on its way up for its 2023-24 apparition. Saturn (magnitude +1.0, in dim Aquarius) is low in the southeast before and during early dawn.

Thursday, May 18 – Buy A Musical Instrument Day & Visit Your Relatives Day

My cat: Hug Your Cat Day? I'm a fur-midable hugger. / Dogs own space and cats own time. --Nicola Griffith

..........Must there be all these colors without names, without sound..........Jimi Hendrix …..Love Or Confusion

^^ The River Shannon is the longest river in Ireland and flows through Limerick. The river rises in County Cavan and flows for approximately 240 miles before reaching the Atlantic Ocean.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My favorite thing about humans may just be our ability to drench potatoes in mayonnaise and call it a salad with a straight face. --Troy Johnson

Moonbeam: To understand God's thoughts, one must study statistics, for these are the measure of His purpose. --Florence Nightingale

Video of the Week: 20 second commercial for Comic Relief 90 (Robin Williams, Whoopie Goldberg, Billy Crystal) Really Long Address

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: What do you say to someone who just became, like, king congratulations seems weird when his only achievement is outliving his mother and he almost didn't pull it off. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 5/6/23

Through nonviolence, courage displaces fear. Love transcends hate. Acceptance dissipates prejudice; hope ends despair. Faith reconciles doubt. Peace dominates war. Mutual regards cancel enmity. Justice for all overthrows injustice. The redemptive community supersedes immoral social systems. --SNCC Founding Document

My cat: Hug Your Cat Day? That's hiss-erical. / I am not a cat man, but a dog man, and all felines can tell this at a glance – a sharp, vindictive glance. --James Thurber

..........No sun comin' through my windows..........Jimi Hendrix …..I Don't Live Today

^^^ The Galtymore Mountain is approximately 919m high and is situated on the border with County Tipperary. It is Ireland's 14th highest peak.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car. (credited to Ralph Waldo Emerson) https://www.facebook.com/treasurecoasthd

Weird Word of the Week: Agastopia: the fetishistic admiration of a specific body part. https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/agastopia

Dragon of the Week: Cat Dragon

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Dehydrate fresh vegetables for use in soups and stews. Wash the vegetables and cut them into thin slices or dice them. Place a sheet of Bounty Paper Towels on a cookie sheet, spread the sliced or diced vegetables across the paper towel, and place in the oven set on low heat, occasionally using a wooden spoon or spatula to gently stir the vegetables. When the moisture dries from the vegetables and they attain the thinness of paper, remove from the oven, and store in covered jars or airtight containers in the pantry. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bounty.html

My cat: Hug Your Cat Day? Purr-haps later. / My cat is not insane, she's just a really good actress. --P C Cast

...........I can see my rainbow calling me..........Jimi Hendrix …..May This Be Love

^^^^ St. John's Cathedral is a Catholic church and, at 308 feet, is the tallest building in Limerick. The tower rises to a height of 163 feet.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Kentucky Derby – Amish NASCAR

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Watch City Steampunk Festival (13^th, Waltham, MA) The mystery begins...(It's elementary...) https://www.watchcityfestival.com/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Women in Tech (12^th, Barcelona, Spain) ...to empower communities of talented and motivated women in tech through leadership development, professional growth, mentorship, and networking https://www.bizzabo.com/blog/technology-events

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Equation

My cat: Hug Your Cat Day? Price for a hug – a furr-ari. / Cats have no guilt and very little shame. --Ursula LeGuin

..........Starfleet to scoutship, please give your position...........Jimi Hendrix …..Third Rock From The Sun

^^^^^ Rose Fitzgerald's descendants came from County Limerick. Rose was John F. Kennedy's mother.

My Own Writing of the Week: I promise, dear reader, that I only wrote on days when I have had an orgasm; other days I edited or read or was grumpy doing something else. This is really a promise to myself. I'm much pleasanter company after an orgasm – most people are; and I want this read to be pleasant, really, really pleasant.

I am in my 70s now. I've been having orgasms for 60+ years. My first was when I was 12, alone in my bedroom with a makeshift dildo and a rickety fantasy. I remember neither. I remember the sensation, however, the rapid climb, the slow descent, the sense of calm and oneness with the world. It was my first personal contact with the goddess and with God-ness.

I had never heard of orgasm, not in my reading nor in any conversation I had. It came upon my body as the most wonderful surprise I ever got... better than birthdays... beat Santa Claus all to hell. It was free; it didn't require transportation; other folks didn't figure in at all. The perfect hobby for a young teenager living in a semi-rural part of eastern Kansas.

In my 30s and 40s I could achieve orgasms watching someone from across the room, someone delicious and graceful, someone sexy. I didn't even need much fantasy at all. I once climaxed while giving head.

I did not stop having orgasms when I was pregnant. At climax the uterus spasms, in pregnancy the uterus swells from the size of a fist to the size of a pregnant woman's belly; so it is the spasm writ really large. Sensation swells with it and, I told myself, it prepares the baby for birth (a series of more organized spasms of the uterus) and gives both the baby and me a sense of calm and oneness with our environment. I was also less self-conscious about my pregnant stomach knowing what it could do.

From Always Surrender by Christine Smith

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I had my sh*t together once. I think I was 7. --Submitted by RHOZ

Today's Peace of History: May 12, 1968: The Poor People's Campaign, organized by the Southern Christian Leadership Conference (SCLC) began when contingents of the poor, mainly from the south, began pitching tents in a "Resurrection City" near the Lincoln Memorial.

My cat: Hug Your Cat Day? Hug one, get one fur-ry. / “Cats can work out mathematically the exact place to sit that will cause the most inconvenience.” –-Pam Brown

..........They used to sing for the sunshine.........Jimi Hendrix …..Remember

Mother of Today's Peace of History, May 12, 1968: A 12-block Mother’s Day march of “welfare mothers” was held in Washington, DC.,led by Coretta Scott King accompanied by Ethel Kennedy.

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle May 12, 2023, hUggy ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: It ain't over 'til it's over. --Yogi Berra

Cost of War:

• As of 05/11/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $206,679,367,513.
• As of 05/04/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $206,128,355,218.
• As of 05/11/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,136,380,395,167.
• As of 05/04/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,134,841,355,506.
• As of 05/11/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,136,203,516,561.
• As of 05/04/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,135,604,999,050.
• As of 05/11/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,039,316,785,493.
• As of 05/04/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,027,650,298,461.
• As of 05/11/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,022,492,714,863.
• As of 05/04/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,021,324,140,084.
• As of 05/11/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,541,074,632,744.
• As of 05/04/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,525,550,507,492

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

By appealing to conscience and standing on the moral nature of human existence, nonviolence nurtures the atmosphere in which reconciliation and justice become actual possibilities. --SNCC Founding Document

Famous Last Words: Hand in hand on the edge of the sand they danced by the light of the moon. --Edward Lear The Owl & The Pussycat

..........I think they are calling our names...........Jimi Hendrix …..Are You Experienced

My cat: Hug Your Cat Day? That gives me paws. / As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat. --Ellen Perry Berkeley

May Peace nestle your mind

And Joy cuddle your soul

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: Fintastic Friday: Giving Sharks A Voice

eNriched ePistle

Famous First Words: Strike three, ball four --Damn Yankees Act1 : Scene 1

April was a hard month for us... We were so poor we thought teachers were rich. / ...we couldn't afford Special K so we had to eat ordinary K. / When I was a kid we were very rich because my dad invested in Lifesavers. He made a mint. / I had a cousin who was a marine biologist. He was very whale-thy.

..........I'm bound to learn to fly..........Tammy Wynette …..'Til I Get It Right

The bourgeoisie has torn away from the family its sentimental veil and has reduced the family relation into a mere money relation. --Karl Marx

It is a gray Friday morning. The sky is blotched with light slate and almost white splotches. Here and there I can see or, perhaps, imagine the sun trying to shine through and failing. 59°F is a lovely spring temperature but the breeze and the damp suggest jackets and even hats. The dangling branches of the willow are waving lazily as are the shorter, newer trees. A single dog barks from behind one of the fences meant to keep us all privately in our own places. Now and again a bird flies by looking like it has purpose and plans. The dog has stopped his conversation and the wind has also stopped momentarily. It is so quiet with only the hum of the computer in my ear. Ah, I pick up my cup and inhale the rich creamy chocolaty steam. Puck snores. And I raise my cup to you, dear reader, have a great day!

May your weekend be Cinco veces Glorious, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It was a sad and disappointing day when I discovered my Universal Remote Control did not, in fact, control the Universe. (not even remotely.) --Neil deGrasse Tyson --Submitted by ff of ks

Florida: Trashy if you're poor, classy if you're rich. / We were so rich we owned Bose music systems and assumed the poor had Sony. Turns out those were just stereotypes. / We were so poor we used to leave the front door open hoping a thief would come in and drop something. /...we couldn't afford punchlines for our jokes.

..........And then I know just when to dream.........Rex Goh and Air Supply …..Making Love Out Of Nothing At All

Trivia Questions: Happy International Roller Derby Day!

• ^ What are the positions on a roller derby team?
• ^^ How is roller derby scored?
• ^^^ Why do the helmet covers indicate?
• ^^^^ What is “Rink Rash”?
• ^^^^^ How popular is roller derby?

Big Hello: Witéj – Kashubian (Poland) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest I Read of the Week: There is no pleasure in having nothing to do. The fun is from having lots to do and not doing it. --Submitted by PsyDe

Image of the Week: The NFL draft in KC --a preliminary rendering

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 75% of librarians might say “Good Morning” but only 15% mean it. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats

We were so poor, one night burglars broke in and couldn't find anything to steal; so they woke us up to make fun of us. / ...the tooth fairy left us food stamps. / We were so rich that when my parents tickled my baby brother they said, “Gucci, Gucci, Gucci ”. / … we brushed our teeth with Decadent.

..........Freedom fighters sent out to the sun.........Bill Ward with Black Sabbath …..Into The Void

Moonbeam: People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use. --Soren Kierkegaard

Question of the Week: Whose turn is it?

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Bob Bickel, of Severna Park, Md. Think of a five-letter word for things a

lot of people complain about. Add a letter and rearrange the result to get an example of these things. Then add one more letter and rearrange to get a remedy for these things. Five, six, and seven letters, respectively. What words are these?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It is easier for a removable bra cup to be inserted through the tiny hole and placed in the correct shape than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. --Submitted by MMS

My dad ran the garbage collection for the mob so we were filthy rich. / We were so rich that after his heart attack, my dad rode to the hospital in an ambulenciaga. We were so poor I had to bathe in the spring. When the money got better, I bathed in the fall too. / ...a burglar broke into our house and all he got was practice.

..........Oh, thunder only happens when it's raining.........Billy Burnette and Fleetwood Mac …..Dreams

^ The positions are 1) Jammer – laps the opposing team members 2) Blockers 1) Pivot – captain who can act as a Jammer in a jam.

Almanac: It is Friday, May 5, 2023. The moon becomes full (Flower) today and is in Scorpio. It is National Cartoonists Day, Childhood Stroke Awareness Day, Cinco de Mayo, International Day of The Midwife, International Roller Derby Day, National Astronaut Day, National Hoagie Day, National Military Spouse Appreciation Day, National Totally Chipotle Day, Revenge of the Fifth (Star Wars Sith), Tuba Day, and World Password Day. Because it is the first Friday in May it is also International Space Day.

Among those born on this day were Philippe Quinault (1635), Soren Kierkegaard (1813), Karl Marx (1818), Guggenheim de Montijo y de Guzman (1826), Henryk Sienkiewicz (1846), Nellie Bly (Elizabeth Cochran Seaman, 1867), Charles Bender (1883), Christopher Morley (1890), Spencer Tracy (1900), James Beard (1903), Rex Harrison (Reginald Carey, 1908), Tyrone Power (1913), Ann B David (1926), Pat Carroll (1927), Tammy Wynette (1942), John Rhys-Davies (1944), Bill Ward (Black Sabbath, 1948), Rex Goh (Air Supply, 1951), Billy Burnette (Fleetwood Mac, 1953), and Peter Erskine (Weather Report, 1954).

On May fifth the second Council of Constantinople opened (553), a peace treaty between Russia and Prussia was signed (1762), the American Medical Association was organized (1847), Carnegie Hall opened (Tchaikovsky conducting, 1891), Billboard began publishing (1900), the US invaded the Dominican Republic (1916), Sinclair Lewis refused the Pulitzer Prize (Arrowsmith, 1926), Gandhi was freed from prison (1944), Damn Yankees opened (1955), US tested a nuclear bomb at Enwetak (1958), the Iran-Contra hearings began (1987), and there was a conjunction of the Sun, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, and the Moon (2000).

Night Sky, 5/5: Eta Aquariid Meteor Shower. This shower favors the southern hemisphere so it appears low in the sky for northerly latitudes. Predawn is best. Has thrown as many as 50 falling stars per hour. Information AND Penumbral Lunar Eclipse: Visible in almost the entire world except here. They'll see it in Europe, Asia, Australia, Africa, Pacific, Atlantic, Indian Ocean, and Antarctica. (There will be another one in October that we can see) https://www.timeanddate.com/eclipse/2023

Fraternal Picture of the Week: “Walt Whitman once said, ‘I see great things in baseball. It’s our game, the American game. It will repair our losses and be a blessing to us.’ You could look it up. --Annie Savoy Bull Durham (not Whitman)

This Week: Saturday, May 6 – Coronation Day & Kentucky Derby Day & Mariachi Day

Sunday, May 7 – Beaufort Scale Day & Lemonade Day & World Laughter Day

Night Sky, 5/7: Venus (mag -4.3) is visible above the western horizon in Taurus. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Monday, May 8 – No Socks Day & Student Nurse Day & World Red Cross/Crescent Day

Tuesday, May 9 – Alphabet Magnet Day & National Sleepover Day

Wednesday, May 10 – Clean Your Room Day & School Nurse Day

Night Sky, 5/10: Mars (mag 1.5) is high in the western sky in Gemini

Thursday, May 11 – Eat What You Want Day & Root Canal Appreciation Day

We were so poor we couldn't afford electricity; we had to watch tv by candle light. / ...ducks used to throw bread at us. / My mother got rich playing pool. She's a billiardnaire. / My brother made his money with a dating app for old rich white guys. It's call “22 and Me”.

..........Things ain't cooking in my kitchen.........Peter Erskine with Weather Report …..Birdland

^^ Points are awarded by the jammer passing opposing team members.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Exhaustipated: (adj) Too tired to give a shit. --Submitted by Philosophy Matters

Moonbeam: It is not wise to be wiser than is necessary. --Philippe Quinault

Video of the Week: Roy Zimmerman and friends in (Tragedy tomorrow) Hannity Tonight https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJIV2rOlUdo Roy is wearing a t-shirt that says Fox News is elder abuse.

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Biden will be 86 at the end of his second term. But when you average that with his approval rating, it's like 50. And it's true that this video features Kamala Harris a lot. The Biden administration is doing its best to promote her, which is a lot like selling an airplane by talking about the parachutes. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 4/29/23

The hand-mill gives you society with the feudal lord; the steam-mill society with the industrial capitalist. --Karl Marx

My aunt was so rich she bought a kid to play with her dog. / We were so rich our Lemonade stand sold Chateau Lafite Rothschild (1988). / We were so poor when I was in high school my dad gave me an air guitar for Christmas. / ...we had to play Dungeons OR Dragons.

..........Cause after all he's just a man..........Tammy Wynette …..Stand By Your Man

^^^ There are 2 different helmet covers: stars for the jammer and stripes for the pivot.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Kansans always breathe a sigh of relief when the legislature adjourns... --Submitted by cc of ks https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Weird Word of the Week: Rawky (pronounced rocky) – cold, foggy, damp https://wordsmith.org/words/rawky.html

Dragon of the Week: Longshan aka Lungshan Temple in Taiwan

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Pick up small pieces of broken glass from the floor. Carefully use a sheet of Bounty Paper Towels dampened with water. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bounty.html

In college my roommates and I were so poor we couldn't pay the electric bill. Those were my darkest days. / ...we couldn't pay the church for Grace's exorcism and they repossessed her. / My mom was rich, She was a juggler and knew how to balance a checkbook. / We were so rich, mom used to bury money in the garden to make the soil rich.

...........Generals gathered in their masses........Bill Ward with Black Sabbath …..War Pigs

^^^^ Rink Rash is when a skater falls and skins her knee.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I may be mentally unstable but at least I don't own a
pair of crocs. --Submitted by RHOZ

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: 34^th Annual DemiCon (5-7, Des Moines) --an interactive adventure with all sorts of amazing ways to be involved. https://demicon.org/34/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Star East 2023 – IT & Technology (4/10-5/5, Orlando, FL) Software Testing Tools and Services https://www.cantonfair.net/event/22881-star-east

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Pains → Sprain → Aspirin

We were so rich I had an MP4. / I'm a data manager for a large firm. I'm not really rich but I have a lot to cache. / We were so poor that all we had for toilet paper was a calendar. Now those days are behind me. / ..we turn our jeans inside out just to get another month's wear out of 'em.

..........Can you hear me calling out your name.........Billy Burnette and Fleetwood Mac …..Everywhere

^^^^^ There are over 1,200 amateur roller derby leagues worldwide.

My Own Writing of the Week: I never cared for sex on LSD. There was too much going on. When I'm making love I want all my attention right there in my cunt and in my mouth. I don't want to space out watching the flowers on the comforter move. But, late in the evening when you're gliding down and you smoke a little weed to slow yourself even more so you're kind of floating between trippy and not, sensation is still intense but the mind is not so, love can be magical.

Drinking has never made me lucky. There was a potential Young Apollo who stopped by my house on St. Patrick's Day with a fifth of good Irish Whiskey that someone had left in his truck. But I'm so little a drinker I wasn't able to keep up at all and kept asking if people diluted this with other stuff like coke or orange juice. Finally, he took the rest of his bottle and went off to find someone who liked the stuff. I hope he ended up lucky and in love.

I'm not opposed to alcohol. There was that young man who wore suits and taught me about shots of cheap Scotch but my second husband, Bruce, taught me to drink good Scotch. Each year on the anniversary of the dispersal of his ashes, people gather and drink good Scotch aged for many years, and we all tell Bruce stories.

I learned to drink Tequila at lesbian parties. Salt, Liquor, Lemon!! Tequila and weed make an excellent combination. They were usually available in the kitchen for a pleasant break. Then we would dance all night. I don't ever remember a hangover.

There was a timid young woman who fascinated me and I tried wine to help her relax but she just got sick and threw up. She was a college student from a farm outside a very small town. Perhaps it was because I was female, perhaps I was inept, but eventually I moved on without ever properly satisfying the lady. She was kind of tall and had wonderful full eyebrows that she used well. But she was so shy. She couldn't relax and I didn't know what to do to help. There have been failures.

Big Mama and I used to drink strawberry daiquiris and play cards on Sunday nights. Sometimes when I was running the Business & Economics Reading Room and it was a new semester and there was lots of work and lots of questions and lots of stress, I would take bloody-marys to work in a thermos. This would go on for a couple of weeks and just about the time I said to myself, "Hey, you're taking liquor to work - every day! Is this a problem?" The semester would settle down and I would stop.

I did belong to a group that called themselves the Women's Thursday Night Drinking Club. It was a Consciousness Raising Group that grew up. That was certainly a pleasant crowd. I'd raise a glass to them this very day!

Techniques from Always Surrender by Christine Smith

Quote of the Week: To be wealthy and honored in an unjust society is a disgrace. --Confucius

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Falcons live to be 12-15 years old. So all falcons alive today were born in the 21^st century. They are millennial falcons. --Submitted by bc of ex

Today's Peace of History, May 5, 1983: Over 1,000,000 Sicilians, 1/5 of the island's population, signed a petition against the deployment of more than 100 US cruise missiles at the Comiso Air Base.

We were so poor we unplugged the clocks when we went to bed. / ...we were so poor we often had Hamburger Helper for supper – without the hamburger. / I won a million dollars in the lottery. I decided to give a quarter of it to charity. Now I have $999,999.75. / By the way, rich people do have a sense of humor. But they feel that it, like their money, should not be shared with poor people.

..........Baby, I'd give you my world.........Billy Burnette and Fleetwood Mac …..Go Your Own Way

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle May 5, 2023, eNriched ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: "There is absolutely no substitute for the best. Good food cannot be made of inferior ingredients masked with high flavor. It is true thrift to use the best ingredients available and to waste nothing." --James Beard

Cost of War:

• As of 05/04/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $206,128,355,218.
• As of 04/27/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $205,560,144,658.
• As of 05/04/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,134,841,355,506.
• As of 04/27/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,133,254,306,406.
• As of 05/04/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,135,604,999,050.
• As of 04/27/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,134,987,817,248.
• As of 05/04/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,027,650,298,461.
• As of 04/27/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,015,620,222,359.
• As of 05/04/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,021,324,140,084.
• As of 04/27/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,020,119,176,909.
• As of 05/04/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,525,550,507,492.
• As of 04/27/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,509,543,226,867.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

The pay of the common soldier is also reduced to a minimum — determined purely by the production costs necessary to procure him. But he exchanges the performance of his services not for capital, but for the revenue of the state. --Karl Marx

Famous Last Words: ... and if he is a monk or lay person, let him be anathema. --Second Council of Constantinople

..........There's nothing left to say.........Rex Goh and Air Supply …..Goodbye

We were so rich, we had ice cubes in the shape of dollar signs. / ...we had 14 bathrooms in our house. / We were so poor we couldn't pay attention. / ...that if they were selling steamboats for a dollar, all we could do is run around yelling, “Ain't that cheap?” / At the end of the day it doesn't make any difference if you're rich or poor, it still night.

May Peace ease your mind

And Joy ease your relationships

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: Happy National Cartoonist Day