Friday, April 21, 2017

ePistle (n.) lEtter

Famous First Words: Hello, Howard... Lawrence & Lee Inherit the Wind
Happy Birthday to Webster's Dictionary: What do you call a dictionary on drugs? High Definition / The new online dictionary of metaphysics can tell you when you are mispronouncing a word in your head and correct it for you.
..........Tis a rhyme for your lips and a song for your heart.........Patti LuPone …..Look to the Rainbow
Education is the vaccine for violence. --Edward James Olmos
It is a chilly (49°F) Friday morning. The sky is solid cloud to the east and south and largely, simply blue to the west and north. The clouds come in all forms – a thin streaky layer enlightened by the unseen rising sun way up – with pretty puffs floating beneath. To the south is a thicker layer onto which wind has painted clouds curling and writhing like waves driven to shore by a storm. The same breeze blows my sweater and the tree limbs in their new spring togas and the dandelions waving above lawns. It kisses my cheek and runs off to play with some other toy it finds. Puck paces the perimeter until he finds a rabbit waiting patiently in the neighbors yard and summons the other dogs to come out and intimate the fat little bunny who sits there unmoved and unmoving. Bird song is everywhere except the backyard; event he squeaky newly hatched sparrows in the birdhouse are quiet this morning. School does not meet today and so there are no children waiting at the corner, no laughter or muffled conversation, only the whooo of the mourning dove. A attempted murder (2) crows fly overhead going directly east; they fly silently. The world is so green everywhere and dotted with blues and reds and yellows and whites. It's just so...so...spring. But the cool of the morning begins to seep into my clothing and I gather my dog and we return to the warmth and the smell of brewing coffee and the white noise of furnaces and computers. I sit now, sweetened, creamed decaf in my mouth and nose and thoughts of you on my mind. Sigh, what a morning and it isn't even 8 yet.
Hope your weekend defines wild, ePistliers.
Finally found love...page 90 in the dictionary. / Sally went crazy looking for the meaning of life in a dictionary.
..........You say yes and I say no..........The Cure …..Hello, Good-bye
Trivia Questions: Rome turns 2,770 years old today.
^ What is the story of the founding of the city anyway?
^^ Know the population of modern Rome, more or less?
^^^ What Acronym left over from Empire days is still seen all over the city?
^^^^ What construction material was invented by the ancient Romans?
^^^^^ Any idea when Rome became the capital of Italy?
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: By the time of their retirement, a librarian will have spent 12.6 years of their life waiting for the Inter-library Loan Site to load. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts ~~So we don't call it OCLC anymore?
Moonbeam: Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity, or registering wrongs. --Charlotte Bronte
If you look up the word “expert” in the dictionary, you will find a definition of the word “expert”. / Have you ever laughed at a joke and then looked up the words later in Urban Dictionary?
..........Pop before the war, lunch before the score.........Iggy Pop …..Blah-Blah-Blah
Something to Think About of the Week: Every day we can resurrect ourselves and come closer to understanding our true nature. Every mistake and every triumph can be a resurrection and renewal, a step toward the complete freedom. More
Big Hello: Chôm rab suôr – Khmer (Cambodia)
Week of the Week: Coin Week (April 16-22) –After months of working overtime at the Royal Mint, coin makers went on strike to make less money. / How did the penguins make the decision? flipper coin. http://www.spectrumfantasticartlive.com/
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Spectrum Fantastic Art Live (April 21-23, Kansas City Convention Center) A few hundred of today's brightest artist stars will fill SFAL's exhibitor booth and artist table areas.
cashew (n.) The sound of a nut sneezing. / poor (adj.) When you have too much month at the end of your money.
..........Slippin' through the so and so's..........Iggy Pop …..Moonlight Lady
^ Rome was founded by Romulus. Roman legend says that Romulus had a twin brother called Remus. As babies they were abandoned in the area which later became Rome. A she-wolf found and raised them, but when they grew up Romulus fought and killed Remus and became the first ruler of Rome!
Almanac: It is Friday, April 21, 2017. The moon was last quarter last Wednesday and is in Pisces. It is Bulldogs Are Beautiful Day, Kindergarten Day, LGBT National Day of Silence, National Chocolate-Covered Cashews Day, National Day of Silence, National Surprise Drug Test Day, and the Queen's actual birthday. In both
Belize and Hong Kong they celebrate the Queen's Birthday. In Indonesia it is Kartini Day and in Texas it is San Jacinto Day (1836).
Among those born on this day were Ulrich von Hutten (1488), Arcangelo Crivelli (1546), John A van Riebeeck (1619), Johann Philipp Kafer (1673), Jean-Baptiste Biot (1774), Friedrich Froebel (1782), Charlotte Bronte (1816), Fredrick Bajer (1837), Max Weber (1864), Leo Blech and Vojtech Rihovsky (1871), Pat Brown (1905),
Marcel Camus (1912), Choh Hao Li (1913), Anthony Quinn and Andor Kovach (1915), Daniel Melnick (1924), Don Tyson (1930), Elaine May (1932), Charles Grodin (1935), John McCabe (1939), Iggy Pop (James Newell Osterberg, 1947), Patti LuPone (1949), Tony Danza (1951), Andie MacDowell (Rosalie Anderson, 1958), Robert Smith (Cure, 1959), Sergei Zalyotin (1962), and Tia Jackson (1972).
On April twenty-first Rome was founded (753 BCE), The Treaty of Saint Maartens Dike was signed (1420), the Maryland Toleration Act allowed freedom of all worship (1649), John Adams was sworn in as the first US vice president (1789), Grillparzer's Sappho premiered (1818), Webster published his first dictionary (1828), the first railroad bridge across the Mississippi River was completed (Rock Island to Davenport, 1856), the US Mint in Denver was established (1862), the first buffalo was born in Golden Gate Park (1892), Black longshoremen struck for higher wages (St. Louis, 1892), Shaw's Arms & the Man premiered (1894), Ty Cobb played his first pro game (1904), the zipper was patented (1913), Bulgaria outlawed all political parties (1935), the first Polaroid camera was sold in the US (1948), Inherit the Wind premiered (1955), Heartbreak Hotel became number one (1956), Brasilia became the capital of Brazil (1960), the Orbiting Astronomical Observatory 4 was launhed (Copernicus, 1972), the 1 pound coin was introduced inthe UK (1983), Geraldo Rivera opened Al Capone's empty vault (1986), Beijing's Tiananmen Square demonstration began (1989), Brazil voted out the monarchy (1993), and the ashes of Timothy Leary and Gene Roddenberry were launched into orbit (1997).
Night Sky 4/21: The weak Lyrid meteor shower should peak in the hours before Saturday's dawn. The Moon will be only a waning crescent.
This Week: Saturday, April 22 – National Earth Day & National Jelly Bean Day
Night Sky, 4/22: Look high in the west for Pollux and Castor lined up almost horizontally (depending on your latitude). These two stars, the heads of the Gemini twins, form the top of the enormous Arch of Spring.
Sunday, April 23 – Talk Like Shakespeare Day & National Take A Chance Day
Monday, April 24 – National Pigs In A Blanket Day
Night Sky, 4/24: Right after dark, the Sickle of Leo stands vertical high due south. Its bottom star is Regulus, Leo's brightest.
Tuesday, April 25 – Red Hat Society Day & World Penguin Day
Night Sky, 4/25: The spring constellation Corvus, the Crow, perches in the southeast these evenings, about a fist and a half at arm's length to the right of Spica. But above Spica this year is brilliant Jupiter, hogging the show.
Wednesday, April 26 – National Help A Horse Day & National Pretzel Day
Thursday, April 27 – Denim Day & Poem In Your Pocket Day
Housework only comes before quilting in the dictionary. / I wish I could download dictionaries to my brain.
..........Spinning on the dizzy edge.........The Cure …..Just Like Heaven
^^ The population of the city of Rome is around 2.7 million. The entire metropolitan area of Rome has an estimated 3.7 million people.
Funniest thing I read of the Week: United Airlines – We put the Hospital in Hospitality. --submitted by mja of ks
Moonbeam: Play is the highest expression of human development in childhood for it alone is the free expression of what is in a child's soul. --Friedrich Froebel
Late Night Snacks: This weekend is Easter, where Christians celebrate the return of Jesus. Unfortunately, this year Jesus can’t return because he’s Middle Eastern and been detained at the airport. --Conan O'Brien / Before he was press secretary, Sean Spicer actually played the Easter bunny at the egg roll during the Bush administration. Which means this week, for the first time maybe in history, we got to see the Easter bunny apologize for comments about the Holocaust. --Jimmy Kimmel / And there's speculation that President Drumpf could cancel the annual White House Easter Egg Roll. Then he said, "Actually, I'm canceling ALL egg rolls, just to get back at JYNA." --Jimmy Fallon / One kid looking for eggs turned up Obama’s birth certificate. --David Letterman
One child, one teacher, one book, and one pen can change the world. --Malala Yousafzai
Chairdrobe (n.) The art of piling clothes on a chair to be used in place of a closet or dresser; see also floordrobe. / Synonym (n.) A word used in place of the one you can't spell.
..........up three flights of stairs..........Iggy Pop …..Waiting for the Man
^^^ SPQR stands for "Senatus Populusque Romanus" and means "The senate and the people of Rome." The symbol is still seen all over the city today.
Worthless Fact of the Week: The Mystery of Al Capone's Vaults was an infamous two-hour live American television special that was broadcast one-time only in syndication on April 21, 1986. Hosted by TV personality Geraldo Rivera, the special centered on the opening of a secret vault in the Lexington Hotel once owned by noted crime lord Al Capone, which turned out to be empty except for debris. The Mystery Of Al Capone's Vault is available in its entirety on Geraldo's website.
Weird Word of the Week: eleemosynary – pertaining to alms or almsgiving. From Greek eleos – pity. http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-ele1.htm
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Libraries will get you through times of no money better than money will get your through times of no libraries. --Anne Herbert --submitted by fb of az
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Fight bad breath. Put a teaspoon of Tang powered drink mix in your mouth, swish around, and swallow. The citric acid in Tang stimulates saliva production and impedes the odor-producing enzymes in your mouth. The orange taste of the Tang also freshens your breath. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/tang.html
...........A single note rings on and on and on...........The Cure …..All Cats Are Grey
^^^^ Concrete was a Roman invention used on many structures such as the Pantheon, the Colosseum, and the Roman Forum, which are still standing today thanks to the development of Roman cement and concrete.
Word Shakespeare Made Up of the Week: Green-eyed – jealous or envious. The Merchant of Venice Act III Scene II Portia: ...and shuddering fear, and green-eyed jealousy! O love...
Amazing Thing on the Internet of the Week: I searched “most amazing dictionary online” for this section and I got 53,000,000 results, 52,999.997 of which were definitions of the word amazing. So instead – Meet the Winners of the Most Beautiful Bulldog Contest (2014) – a site on which even bulldogs look cute, but none of them look happy. http://time.com/71753/meet-the-winners-of-the-most-beautiful-bulldog-contest/
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm not much on seizing the day. I just kinda poke it with a stick. --Submitted by bd of ny
Strangest Thing on the Internet of the Week: Tuesday (4/18) would have been CJ Brune's 71st birthday. Bill mentioned it on facebook and there was a lot of response. Facebook, on the other hand, sent me a note saying: It's Caroljean Brune's birthday, help her have a great day! It gave no suggestions about how to do that.
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck stopping to almost smell the flowers in the case of the Downward Facing Doberman.
Santa noted your facebook entries and this year you are getting a dictionary for Christmas. / I can't find this word in the dictionary because I don't know who it spell it. I don't know how to spell it because I can't find it in the dictionary.
..........Hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooowl.....Iggy Pop …...Howl
^^^^^ Rome became the capital city of a unified Italy in 1870...taking the title from Florence.
Month of the Week: April is Fresh Florida Tomatoes Month. Here's a little something about tomato pickers in Florida - sorry it's not funny. http://www.ciw-online.org/
Famous Kansans: Mary Ann Summers, traveler on a "three-hour tour" that was lost at sea on Gilligan's Island, was from Winfield, Kansas. http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0005015/
Today's Peace of History: Today's Peace of History, April 21, 1989: Six days after the death of Hu Yaobang, the deposed reform-minded leader of the Chinese Communist Party, some 100,000 students from more than 40 universities gathered at Beijing's Tiananmen Square to commemorate Hu prior to his funeral.
There's a new dictionary for people not yet fluent in shit. / I just hate it when I look up a word and then don't know the meaning of any of the words in the definition.
..........Visiting time is over.........The Cure …..The Walk
Masthead of the Week: fRiday ePistle April 21, 2017, ePistle (n.) lEtter. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Peace and Humor. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS 66046
Moonbeam: A sign that a peace association is going adrift is its exclusion of other political parties, with whom it could collaborate effectively on most of the problems besetting the cause of peace. --Fredrik Bajer
Cost of War:
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 4/20/17: $769,314,888,731.
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 4/13/17: $768,727,425,611.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 4/20/17: $820,416,243,607.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 4/13/17: $820,399,073,652.
Tax dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 4/20/17: $14,619,330,964.
Tax dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 4/13/17: $14,529,056,221.
Tax dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 4/20/17: $147,539,068,062.
Tax dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 4/13/17: $147,036,783,310.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 4/20/17: $1,756,391,059,196.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 4/13/17: $1,755,164,346,292.
With guns you can kill terrorists, with education you can kill terrorism –Malala Yousafzais
..........They need to escape and so do I.........Patti LuPone …..Rainbow High
My dictionary says that the thesaurus died out 65 million years ago. / This thesaurus is so bad that the only alternative word for "terrible" was "terrible".
Famous Last Words: Sie ist zurьckgekehret zu den Ihren! --Grillparzer's Sappho
May Peace (calm, tranquility, composure, ease, contentment) be yours
And Joy (pleasure, happiness, delight, glee) be with you also.
prairie mama
christine
Last Laugh:

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Friday, April 14, 2017

fArcial ePistle

Famous First Words: Bye Bye Birdie ….opening line of Bye Bye Birdie the movie
Today is International Moment of Laughter Day! Australian Humour: So let's have a few international laughs: Ricky decides to go back home to Melbourne so he calls Qantas Airlines to book his flight. The operator asks him, 'How many people are flying with you?' Ricky replies, 'Strewth mate, how would I know. It's your plane.' / An Australian is someone who thinks that the three major political parties in Australia are Labour, Liberal and Cocktail.
..........The moon was a drip on a dark hood.........Captain Beefheart …..I'm Gonna Booglarize You, Baby
Works of love are works of peace. --Mother Teresa
It is a damp Friday morning. The sky is coated with thick clouds ranging from gray to not so gray. Here and there they clear to thin or even to revealing top clouds radiant in the unseen rising sun. The air carries the aromas of damp pavement, damp soil, and lilacs; this is what spring smells like. Driveway and grass are wet and the soil, where it shines through the thick, deeply green grass, is damp but not muddy. Puck only does half turn on pacing the perimeter and comes back to stand next to me by the fence. He watches rather intently as Kirsten adjusts her helmet and mounts her bike but does not bark at her until the bike is in motion. It is his job to bark at things in motion. There is bird gibberish everywhere dominated by an unseen avian in the little wood across the street repeating two two-syllable tweets followed by a 6 bar melody in a lower register...fugue for a Friday. Puck and I return indoors to less damp and to my cup of artificially sweetened , actually creamed Northwest Blend. A lovely calm morning and now...her you are..what a hoot.
Have ein schönes Wochenende, ePistliers.
Chinese Humor: Chen was extremely hungry, so he left work and went to a local snack bar where he bought a cake.  When Chen had eaten the cake, he found that he was still famished, and so he ate a second one. Even then he was not full up and promptly ate six cakes in succession, but he hadn't satisfied his hunger.  Not until Chen had eaten the seventh cake did he feel satisfied. Then, suddenly, he had a feeling of regret. 'Ah, if I had known this before, I would have eaten the seventh cake first and that would have been enough and there would not have been any need to eat those six others.'
..........Dancin' by the Nile, Disco Tut.........Steve Martin …..King Tut
Trivia Questions: Happy National Dolphin Day !
^ What is the lifespan of the bottlenose dolphin, more or less?
^^ Know what the name for a dolphin's snout is?
^^^ What would you serve to a dolphin as a special treat?
^^^^ Any idea to what depth dolphins can swim?
^^^^^ Where does the name dolphin come from, anyway?
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 50% of librarians schedule their lunch break in order to avoid having to eat lunch with the other 50% . https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Moonbeam: One may conceive light to spread successively by spherical waves. --Christiaan Huygens
Irish Humor: Gallagher is in Boston and he is waiting patiently, also, he is watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stops the flow of traffic and shouts, 'Okay pedestrians'. Then he allows the traffic to pass. He did this several times, and Gallagher is still standing on the sidewalk. After the cop has shouted 'Pedestrians' for the tenth time, Gallagher approaches him and says, 'Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?'
..........Why don't you flex your magic muscle?........Captain Beefheart …..Space-age Couple
Something to Think About of the Week: The transformation of winter to spring represents so much in our lives. During this time, we strive to let go of what has seemingly bogged us down throughout the long hibernation season, moving forward with positivity and gratitude. We can think of "spring cleaning" not only to clear out the clutter in our home, but in our body and mind as well. https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-17752/a-simple-meditation-to-declutter-your-mind-for-a-fresh-start.html
Big Hello: Sälem (Cәлem)– Kazakh (Russia)
Week of the Week: National Robotics Week (April 8-16) -

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Norwescon 40 (April 13-16, Seatac, WQA) Over the hills and far away... Sponsored by Angry Robot Books...
French Humor: Which ghost was president of France? Charles de Ghoul' / What is the Guillotine? A French chopping centre.
..........the “he” is always lower case.........Steve Martin …..Atheists Don't Have No Songs
^ The maximum lifespan of bottlenose dolphins is between 40 and 50 years.
Almanac: It is Friday, April 14, 2017. The moon was full (Pink) last Tuesday and is in Sagittarius. It is Children with Alopecia Day, Dictionary Day (always part of Library Week. Not the same as the one in October),
International Moment of Laughter Day, National Dolphin Day, National Pecan Day, Pan American Day, Pathologists' Assistant Day, and World Marbles Day. In Burma it is the annual Water Festival (since 416) and in El Salvador, Haiti, Honduras, and Venezuela is it Pan American Day/Día de las Américas. Finally in Laos and Mauritius it is Varusha Pirruppa, aka New Years.
Among those born on this day were Abraham Elsevier (1592), Christiaan Huygens (1629), Ernst Hesse (1676), Emanuele Barbella (1718), Junius Morgan (1813), Charles Halle (1819), Edgar Stillman Kelley (1857), Annie Sullivan (1866), Arnold Toynbee (1889), Vere Childe (1892), Martin Kessel (1901), Frits Philips (1905), Everhard van Royen (1913), John Paul Steves (1920), Shorty Rogers (1924), Rod Steiger (1925), William Thornton (1929), Buddy Knox (1933), George Takei (1940), Pete Rose (1941), Ryan O'Neal (1941), Steve Martin (1945), Ty Grimes (Captain Beefheart, 1948), and Sarah Michelle Gellar (1977).
On April fourteenth Henry VIII expropriated minor monasteries (1536), the word "telescope" was first used (Cesi, 1611), Pocahontas married Rolfe (1614), the first US abolitionist society was organized (1775), NY adopted a new constitution (1777), the US Medical Corp was formed (1818), the Territory of Wisconsin was created (1836), Tubman opened the underground railroad (1853), the first Pony Express rider arrived in San Fancisco (1860), the continuous rolling printing press was patented (1863), Abraham Lincoln was shot (1865), the Canadian Homestead Act was passed (1872), the first kinetoscope was shown to the public (1894), Sousa's El Capitan premiered (1896), the Curies insolated the element radium (1902), Candida premiered (1904), the Titanic set sail for the final time (1912), Jeux d'Enfants premiered (1932), Grapes of Wrath was published (1939), the electron microscope was demonstrated (1940), a flash of light was observed in Plato Crater on the moon (1948), the Nuremberg trials began (1949), Laika became the first Earthling in space (Sputnik 2, 1958), Bye Bye Birdie opened (1960), the blockade against China was lifted (1971), Desmond Tutu was elected archbishop of Capetown (1986), and the court dismissed Apple's lawsuit against Microsoft (1992).
Night Sky 4/14: Arcturus shines brightly in the east these evenings, to the left or upper left of even brighter Jupiter (by about three fists at arm's length).
This Week: Saturday, April 15 – Rubber Eraser Day & Take a Wild Guess Day
Night Sky 4/15: Before and during early dawn Sunday morning, look for Saturn below or lower left of the waning gibbous Moon.
Sunday, April 16 - Easter
Monday, April 17 – International Haiku Poetry Day & Nothing Like a Dame Day
Tuesday, April 18 – Pet Owners Independence Day & National Columnists' Day
Night Sky 4/18: After sunset Mercury and Mars can be seen in the west and Jupiter can be seen in the southeast.
Wednesday, April 19 – Bicycle Day & National Garlic Day & National Hanging Out Day
Night Sky 4/19: Before sunrise Jupiter can be seen in the west, Saturn in the south, and Neptune and Venus in the east.
Thursday, April 20 – National Pot Smokers Day & National Ask An Atheist Day
Canadian Humor: You may live in Canada if you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time. / You may be in Canada if someone in Home Depot offers you assistance and they don't even work there.
..........To run her fingers though his hair..........Buddy Knox …..Party Doll
^^ A dolphin's snout is called a rostrum.
Funniest thing I read of the Week: The Republican Party: Our Bridge to the 11th Century --submitted by jgk of ks
'Nother Funny Thing I Read of the Week: Today, I am grateful that Russia and Syria did not bomb us for poisoning the children of Flint Michigan or gassing Natives at Standing Rock. --Submitted by ma of oh
Moonbeam: I marched back then – I was in a civil-rights musical, Fly Blackbird, and we met Martin Luther King. --George Takei
Late Night Snacks: President Drumpf today met with the president of China at his Mar-a-Lago resort. And things got off to an awkward start when Drumpf said, “I thought you were really funny in the ‘Hangover’ movies.” --Seth Meyers / Nunes is stepping aside because the House Ethics Committee is determined to investigate allegations that Nunes may have made unauthorized disclosures of classified information. “Good news, Congressman Nunes! We found the leaker! He’s in your mirror.” --Stephen Colbert / During an interview with Forbes published yesterday, Drumpf’s son, Eric Drumpf, said he might be where he is because of nepotism but that is just a “factor of life.” Wow, Eric sounds pretty smug. But then again he inherited that from his father too. Also, “factor of life” is not a thing people say, is it? I think what he meant to say is it’s a FACT of life — or he meant to say “I’m not the smart son, please stop asking me questions.” --James Corden / I heard that the White House is saving all of President Drumpf’s tweets, so they can be stored in the National Archives. That way future generations can read Kennedy’s journals, Lincoln’s diaries, and Drumpf’s insults about Arnold Schwarzenegger. --Jimmy Fallon / Dennis Rodman has more foreign policy experience than Jared Kushner. --Jimmy Kimmel
Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude. --Martin Luther King, Jr.
International Humor: The Bishop of St. Asaph and his wife were on holiday in Spain and were just signing in to their hotel in Seville. Now, although bishops of the Church in Wales have a title their wives are plain "Mrs". So the good prelate wrote in the register: The Bishop of St. Asaph and Mrs. Williams. The hotel manager looked at the register in amazement and taking the Bishop to one side said , 'In Spain, Bishop, we are not as is commonly said, narrow-minded, and it is no concern of mine what your relationship is with this woman, but do you not think you could conduct this affair a little more discreetly?'
..........Well, I love her sweet and I love her simple.........Buddy Knox …..Devil Woman
^^^ Seas cucumbers are a popular delicacy among dolphins.
Worthless Fact of the Week: The Society for the Relief of Free Negroes Unlawfully Held in Bondage, the first American society dedicated to the cause of abolition, is founded in Philadelphia on this day in 1775. The society changes its name to the Pennsylvania Society for Promoting the Abolition of Slavery and the Relief of Free Negroes Unlawfully Held in Bondage in 1784. ~~What long names you have.
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Don Rickles would say about Stevie Bannon: We know Darth Vader is your hero but that guy at least had the decency to wear a mask. --Peter Segal, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me
Weird Word of the Week: Decussate – to intersect or cross 2 things to form the shape of an x. (From Dr. Samuel Johnson's dictionary of 1755. http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-dec1.htm
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Shampoo your hair. Pour a tablespoon of Tang drink mix into the cupped palm of your hand, add enough water to make a past, then wash your hair with the first drink mix to go to the moon. The citric acid in Tang cuts through sebum oil in the hair. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/tang.html
South African Humor:

...........Ooo, you can turn around and come on back to me...........Steve Martin …..When You Get to Asheville
^^^^ Dolphins can swim up to 650 feet below the surface of the ocean.
Word Shakespeare Made Up of the Week: Gossip – rumor or report of an intimate nature The Comedy of Errors Act V Scene I Amelia: And you the calendars of their nativity, go to a gossips' feast and go with me;
Amazing Thing on the Internet of the Week: Penguin Cam – from the Vancouver Aquarium...live Penquins. http://www.vanaqua.org/learn/see-and-learn/live-cams/penguin
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck dogsplaining bird seed to a squirrel in the case of the Towering Tree Cur.
Yorkshire Humour: 'Ayup' is an all purpose Yorkshire word that means Hello, How are you? Whassup? What are you up to? Look at this, Oy!, Gerroff, See that? Bloody hell! Are you listening? Watch out, Where you been? Pay attention, Wake up...
..........If you don't hurry there will be no hope..........Captain Beefheart …..Blabber 'n Smoke
^^^^^ The word dolphin means “beaked”.
Month of the Week: April is Library Snapshot Month –

Famous Kansans: Amanda Rogers, a character on Star Trek: The Next Generation, was (will be, will have been) born in Topeka in 2351. http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Amanda_Rogers
Today's Peace of History, April 14, 1988: The Soviet Union signed a pact to withdraw troops from Afghanistan after nearly 10 years of occupation.
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Headline: Pentagon awards contract to United Airlines to forcibly remove Assad from power. --Submitted by mja of ks
Polish Humor: A Polish immigrant, called Eryk Kowalski, went to the DVLA to apply for a driving licence. One of the first tasks was to take a sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters. On the bottom row were these letters: 'W A L C Z A K' 'Can you read this?' asked the tester. 'Read it?' Eryk said with glee - 'I know that man.'
..........You have a talent for causing great pain..........Steve Martin …...Dentist!
Masthead of the Week: fRiday ePistle April 14, 2017, fArcical ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Fake News, Real Pain. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS 66046
Moonbeam: People seldom see the halting and painful steps by which the most insignificant success is achieved. --Anne Sullivan
Cost of War:
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 4/13/17: $768,727,425,611.
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 4/6/17: $767,985,267,904.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 4/13/17: $820,399,073,652.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 4/6/17: $820,377,382,777.
Tax dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 4/13/17: $14,529,056,221.
Tax dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 4/6/17: $14,414,969,179.
...Cost for recent bombings in Syria are counted here under fighting isis.
Tax dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 4/13/17: $147,036,783,310.
Tax dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 4/6/17: $146,401,959,300.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 4/13/17: $1,755,164,346,292.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 4/6/17: $1,753,614,263,272.
The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows. --Sydney Harris
..........You'll never blow my house down..........Captain Beefheart …..Zig Zag Wanderer
American Humor: Why do Germans love Americans? Because Americans are the most hated people in the world now. / If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language? An American.
Famous Last Words: and he took off. --Catch 22
May Peace inhabit your giggles
And Joy invade your laughs
prairie mama
christine
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Friday, April 7, 2017

eXegetic ePistle

Famous First Words: The states Parties to this Constitution declare... Constitution of the World Health Organization
April is Holy Humor Month. A young lady came home from a date rather sad. She told her mother, "Anthony proposed to me an hour ago." "Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked. "Because he also told me he is an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a Hell." Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is."
….......Did you notice, the dawn.........Ian Janis …..Nature's At Peace
Establishing lasting peace is the work of education; all politics can do is keep us out of war. --Maria Montessori
It is a chilly (34°F) Friday morning. The sky to the west is absolutely clear of cloud or jet trail. To the east there are strings of thin white but they cannot shade the rising sun which is almost gleeful in it streaming. Bird song is everywhere and contains new lilts among the familiar strains. The sidewalks are filled with students gathering for the bus and citizens walking their dogs and those two little boys who ride bikes to school. This gives Puck a lot to bark about. Color continues to grow in yards and in the little wood across the street. White lilacs are blooming in the neighbors yard behind our own and white blossoms cover the “redbud” in our yard in solidarity; but it is the ever greener grass everywhere some snipped short and others tall enough to tickle Puck's belly. But the still damp soil and the wet foliage carry no smell of spring, no aroma of past rain or future fruit. So we retreat to our rooms and aromas of brewing coffee. Ah, that sweet, brown liquid that perks up even a morning that needs do perking up at all. Welcome to Friday....
Hope your weekend is heaven sent, ePistliers.
A girl passed an old man's house on the way to Sunday School. One day the old man said, "Why do you always go to Sunday school? All they tell you is ridiculous fairy tales!" So the little girl replied, "Like what?" "Well," the old man said, "like that story about Jonah and the giant fish. Do you really believe that that could happen?" "I don't know, but when I get to heaven I'll ask him." The old man said, "Well, what if Jonah's not there?" "Then you can ask him." the little girl replied.
..........Near to the moon at night.........Billie Holiday …..East of the Sun
Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday, ancestor of Mississippi.
^ What international act allowed for the creation of the Territory of Mississippi.
^^ Which US state claimed the Mississippi Territory?
^^^ What became the border between Georgia and the Mississippi Territory?
^^^^ What international act allowed the territory to extend southward to the gulf?
^^^^^ When did Mississippi become a state?
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: Why the fan is on at the ref desk: -40% cooling breeze; -40% white noise; -20% to blow smells away from the desk https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Moonbeam: The better friends you are, the straighter you can talk, but while you are only on nodding terms, be slow to scold. --Francis Xavier
Three women were sitting at a kitchen table drinking coffee and began bragging about their children. The first one said, My son is a priest. When people see him they say “Good morning, Father!" The second woman said, “My son is a cardinal. When people see him they say, 'Good morning, Your Eminence.'” The third mother said, “My son is seven feet tall and weighs over 800 pounds. When people see him they say, OH MY GOD!'”
..........Thought I saw you dancing on the tables late last night.........Ian Janis …..Hopper Painting
Something to Think About of the Week: “Lent can be a time of lone introspection, but there is also tremendous power in joining together in community to examine our lives and consider what we can do to become reconciled to God, to one another and to Creation,” said Sean McConnell
Big Hello: Namaskār – Kashmiri (Hindus)
Week of the Week: Laugh at Work Week (April 1-7) – An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Wizard World ComiCon (St. Louis, April 7-9) http://wizardworld.com/  

A man was having difficulties trying to train a dog he had just bought. One day he was talking about this to his next door neighbor who happened to be an evangelist. The man complained, This dog of mine is so disobedient. I cant train him! The evangelist replied, Why don't you let me have your dog for a few days? I have a couple dogs and they pay attention to me. Okay, take my dog for a week and see what you can do. A week later the man goes back to his evangelist neighbor and asked, Hows it going with my dog? The evangelist said, "Great! Here he is! Talk to him." The man said Sit and his dog sat. Then the man said "Roll over" and his dog rolled over. Finally the man said "Heel!" The dog put its paws on the owners head and barked, "Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof!"
..........Way up in the blue.........Billie Holiday …..Moonglow
^ In the Treaty of Madrid, Spain ceded disputed lands east of the Mississippi River to the US.
Almanac: It is Friday, April 7, 2017. The moon will be full (Pink) next Tuesday and it is in Virgo. The United Nations has declared this International Day of Reflection on the Genocide in Rwanda (A/RES/58/234) and World Health Day (WHO) (WHA/A.2/Res.35). It is also Cereal Day, National Be Heard Day, National Crown Roast of Pork Day, and Unique Names Day. In China it is Ching Ming when families gather at graves of ancestors. In Haiti they celebrate World Health Day (1948) and in Yugoslavia it is Republic Day (1963). Finally, in Massachusetts it is Student Government Day.
Among those born on this day were Francis Xavier (1506), Gerard Dou (1613), Ferdinand van Kessel (1648), Michel Adanson (1727), William Wordsworth (1770), William Rufus DeVane Ding (Democrat, 1786), Flora Tristan (1803), Jozef Neuhuys (1841), WK Kellogg (1860), Irene Castle & Allan Dulles (1893), Walter Winchell (1897), Billie Holiday (Eleanora Fagan, 1915), Terrance Edward Armstrong & Ravi Shankar (1920), James Garner (Scott Bumgarner, 1928), Donald Barthelme (1931), Jerry Brown Jr (Edmund G, 1938), Francis Ford Coppola (1939), Mick Abrahams (1943), Spencer Dryden (1943), Bill Kreutzmann (1946), John Oates (1949), Janis Ian (Janis Eddy Fink, 1951), Jackie Chan (1954), and Peggy Clasen (1969).
On April seventh Prague University was formed (1348), Cape Town was settled (1652), a slave revolt took place in NYC (1712), Bach's St John's Passion premiered (1724), the Territory of Mississippi was organized (1798), Beethoven conducted the premier of his Eroica (1805), Walker invented wooden matches (1827), Nebraska introduced the 8 hour work day (1891), Seals Stadium opened in San Francisco (1931), Italy annexed Albania (1939), Booker T Washington became the first black person on a US postage stamp (1940), the World Health Organization was established by the UN (1948), the American Bowling Congress began hosting masters tournaments (1951), Dag Hammarskjold was elected 2nd General-Secretary of the UN (1953), New York's electric trollies were retired (1957), Oklahoma ended prohibition (1959), Effects of Gamma Rays on Man-in-the-moon Marigolds premiered (1970), the US broke relations with Iran (1980), Russian began recalling troops from Afghanistan (1988), and the Vatican finally acknowledged the Holocaust (1994).
Night Sky, 4/7: The Moon forms a huge, nearly vertical line with Procyon and Sirius below it in early and mid-evening.
This Week: Saturday, April 8 – Draw A Bird Day & Slow Art Day
Night Sky, 4/8: Jupiter is in the opposite direction from the Sun as seen from Earth. It climbs into grand view in the southeast through the evening, with slightly bluer Spica below it.
Sunday, April 9 – Jumbo Day & National Cherish an Antique Day
Night Sky, 4/9: Vega, the bright "Summer Star," rises in the northeast not long after dark now.
Monday, April 10 – National Sibling Day & Safety Pin Day
Night Sky, 4/10: Saturn can be seen in the south in the morning and Neptune and Venus can be seen in the east before sunrise.
Tuesday, April 11 – Barbershop Quartet Day & National Pet Day
Night Sky, 4/11: Mercury and Mars can be seen in the west in the evening. Jupiter is southeast in the evening and west in the morning.
Wednesday, April 12 – International Day of Human Space Flight & National Bookmobile Day
Thursday, April 13 – Scrabble Day & Celebrate Teen Literature Day
An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she let out a piercing scream and fell to the floor in a dead faint. Her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen: "Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. PS. Sure is hot down here!"
..........I wish you roses in the spring..........Janis Ian …..Joy
^^ The state of Georgia maintained a claim over almost the entire area of what is now Alabama and Mississippi. It surrendered claim in 1802 following the Yazoo Land Scandal.
Funniest thing I read of the Week: I wish I could help you, Sarah, but I'm a family doctor and you're an orphan. --Submitted by hj of wa
Moonbeam: Come forth into the light of things, Let Nature be your teacher. --William Wordsworth

Late Night Snacks: Vice President Mike Pence today cast a tie-breaking vote to eliminate a rule that blocks states from defunding Planned Parenthood, because Mike Pence only approves of one type of birth control — his personality. --Seth Meyers / Ivanka Drumpf and Education Secretary Betsy DeVos visited the National Air and Space museum. Ivanka spoke to employees while Betsy played with the snow globes in the gift shop. --Jimmy Fallon / Here we go, America! Drumpf won’t throw out the first pitch. What else? He won’t go to the Correspondents’ Dinner. He won’t release his tax returns. He won’t put his business in a blind trust. He doesn’t want to live in D.C. What presidential tradition will Drumpf abandon next? This Thanksgiving, those turkeys better run. --Stephen Colbert / It’s come out that Russia probably tried to meddle with our election and may have tried to undermine the presidential campaign of Marco Rubio. In other words, Russia stepped back and did nothing. --Conan O'Brien / A Gallup poll has just been released that shows that Donald Drumpf’s approval rating has fallen to a historic first-year low of 35 percent. Or as Kellyanne Conway calls it, just one more example of Drumpf beating Obama. --James Corden
Education is the most powerful weapon we can use to change the world. --Nelson Mandela
A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone because he was short on time and couldn't find a space with a meter. So he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled this block ten times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES." When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note. "I've circled this block for ten years. If I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job. LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION.
..........She's got them bad, she feels so sad.........Billie Holiday …..Lady Sings the Blues
^^^ The final boundary between Georgia and Mississippi Territory was defined to follow the Chattahoochee River north from the border with Spanish Florida. Just because nothing is that simple ...until it turned northeast, and then to follow a straight line north to the 35th parallel. The northern border was the state of Tennessee.
Worthless Fact of the Week: Seals Stadium was a minor league baseball park opened in the Mission District of San Francisco in 1931. It was the longtime home of the San Fran Seals (1931–57) and the Mission Reds (1931–37), both of the Pacific Coast League. It was later home for the Major League San Francisco Giants for their first two seasons in the city, 1958 and 1959. Less than three decades old, the stadium was demolished in late 1959 after the completion of the baseball season
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Friends don't let friends go to just any old seder www.hawkseder.com
Weird Word of the Week: Chalazion – a common lipogranulomatous inflammation of the sebaceous glands of the eyelids. http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-cha3.htm
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean your dishwasher. Fill the soap receptacle dish with Tang powder and run the dishwasher through its regular cycle without any dishes or detergent. The citric acid in Tang removes grunge and soap scum from the pipes and tubes inside of a dishwasher. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/tang.html
A pastor and a NYC cab driver happened to die at the exact same time and stood in line next to each other at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter motioned the cab driver to come forward first and reviewed his life. The cab driver was given a nice robe to wear and then a video screen showed a huge mansion that he would be living in. The pastor said to himself, "If that shabby cabby is getting those fine things, then I must be getting something really great!" But after St. Peter reviewed the life of the pastor, the video screen showed a small shack that would be the pastors heavenly home. Dumbfounded, the pastor asked St. Peter, "How come that cab driver gets a beautiful robe and mansion while I'm stuck with that small shack?" St. Peter answered, "That's simple. Your sermons put people to sleep. The cabby's driving put people on their knees praying."
...........Every time I hear a raindrop fall.........Ian Janis …..Time On My Hand
^^^^ In 1812, declaring that it had been included in the Louisiana Purchase (1803), the US annexed the Mobile District of West Florida, between the Perdido River and the Pearl River. This extended the Mississippi Territory south to the Gulf of Mexico.
Word Shakespeare Made Up of the Week: Gloomy - dismal, murky, Stygian. King Henry VI, Part I Act V Scene IV Joan La Pucelle: But darkness and the gloomy shade of death environ you...
Amazing Thing on the Internet of the Week: Happy Cereal Day! 10 Creative things to do with cereal boxes. http://www.hellowonderful.co/post/10-CREATIVE-CEREAL-BOX-PROJECTS
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck in the Gray Zone in the case of the Grounded Gray Wolf. 


A pastors son who had just gotten his driving permit asked his father about using the family car. His father answered, "Son, I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible more, and get your haircut. Then we will talk about it." Two months later the boy approached his father again about using the car. His father said, "Son, I'm real proud of you. You have brought your grades up and studied your Bible diligently. But why haven't you gotten your hair cut?" The young man replied, "Samson had long hair. Even Jesus had long hair." His father said, "Yes, son and they walked everywhere they went!"
..........Pennies in a stream.........Billie Holiday …..Moonlight in Vermont
^^^^^ On Dec. 10, 1817, the western portion of Mississippi Territory became the State of Mississippi, the 20th state of the Union. Natchez, long established as a major river port, was the first state capital.
Month of the Week: April is Frog Month.

Famous Kansans: Jonathan Beauregard Quick (Jack B. Quick), boy genius, who lives in Queerwater Creek, KS. American's Best Comics. He first appeared in print in 1999. http://biazedredd.blogspot.com/2009/05/jack-b-quick.html?m=0
Today's Peace of History: April 7, 1979: In Australia, the world's largest exporter of uranium, thousands protested against the nuclear industry
Three pastors met privately to share their major weaknesses and to pray for one another. The first pastor confessed that he had a serious lust problem and many times found himself in compromising situations. The second pastor, encouraged by this display of candor, admitted that he had stolen money from the church and needed help in managing his finances. The third pastor then said, "My weakness is gossip and I can hardly wait to get out of here!"
..........So good-bye.........Ian Janis …..Sea and Sand
Masthead of the Week: fRiday ePistle April 7, 2017, eXegetic ePistle Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ News, smooze Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS 66046
Moonbeam: I'm just a guy who plays drums. --Bill Kreutzmann.
Cost of War:
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 4/6/17: $767,985,267,904.
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 3/30/17: $767,301,445,346.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 4/6/17: $820,377,382,777.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 3/30/17: $820,357,397,614.
Tax dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 4/6/17: $14,414,969,179.
Tax dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 3/30/17: $14,309,884,462.
Tax dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 4/6/17: $146,401,959,300.
Tax dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 3/30/17: $145,817,243,412.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 4/6/17: $1,753,614,263,272.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 3/30/17: $1,752,186,318,007.
Education breeds confidence. Confidence breeds hope. Hope breeds peace. -Confucius
..........So good-bye.........Ian Janis …..Sea and Sand
An old dying priest sent messages for his IRS agent and his lawyer, both church members, to come to his home. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the priest held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The priest grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything. Both the IRS agent and the attorney were touched and flattered that the old priest would ask them to be with him during his final moment. They were also puzzled because the priest had never given any indication that he particularly liked either one of them. Finally the lawyer asked, "Father, why did you ask the two of us to come?" The old priest mustered up some strength, then said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves, and that's how I want to go, too."
….......On April days that would not dance away..........Billie Holiday …..I Wished on the Moon
Famous Last Words: Ich will dich preisen ewiglich! (I shall praise you eternally) --St. John's Passion (Bach)
May your peace be heavenly
And your joy be divine
prairie mama
christine


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