Famous
First Words: Bye Bye Birdie ….opening line of Bye Bye
Birdie the movie
Today
is International Moment of Laughter Day! Australian Humour: So let's
have a few international laughs: Ricky decides to go back home to
Melbourne so he calls Qantas Airlines to book his flight. The
operator asks him, 'How many people are flying with you?' Ricky
replies, 'Strewth mate, how would I know. It's your plane.' / An
Australian is someone who thinks that the three major political
parties in Australia are Labour, Liberal and Cocktail.
..........The
moon was a drip on a dark hood.........Captain Beefheart …..I'm
Gonna Booglarize You, Baby
Works
of love are works of peace. --Mother Teresa
It
is a damp Friday morning. The sky is coated with thick clouds
ranging from gray to not so gray. Here and there they clear to thin
or even to revealing top clouds radiant in the unseen rising sun.
The air carries the aromas of damp pavement, damp soil, and lilacs;
this is what spring smells like. Driveway and grass are wet and the
soil, where it shines through the thick, deeply green grass, is damp
but not muddy. Puck only does half turn on pacing the perimeter and
comes back to stand next to me by the fence. He watches rather
intently as Kirsten adjusts her helmet and mounts her bike but does
not bark at her until the bike is in motion. It is his job to bark
at things in motion. There is bird gibberish everywhere dominated by
an unseen avian in the little wood across the street repeating two
two-syllable tweets followed by a 6 bar melody in a lower
register...fugue for a Friday. Puck and I return indoors to less
damp and to my cup of artificially sweetened , actually creamed
Northwest Blend. A lovely calm morning and now...her you are..what a
hoot.
Have
ein schönes Wochenende, ePistliers.
Chinese
Humor: Chen was extremely hungry, so he left work and went to a local
snack bar where he bought a cake. When Chen had eaten the cake,
he found that he was still famished, and so he ate a second one. Even
then he was not full up and promptly ate six cakes in succession, but
he hadn't satisfied his hunger. Not until Chen had eaten the
seventh cake did he feel satisfied. Then, suddenly, he had a feeling
of regret. 'Ah, if I had known this before, I would have eaten the
seventh cake first and that would have been enough and there would
not have been any need to eat those six others.'
..........Dancin'
by the Nile, Disco Tut.........Steve Martin …..King Tut
Trivia
Questions: Happy National Dolphin Day !
^
What is the lifespan of the bottlenose dolphin, more or less?
^^
Know what the name for a dolphin's snout is?
^^^
What would you serve to a dolphin as a special treat?
^^^^
Any idea to what depth dolphins can swim?
^^^^^
Where does the name dolphin come from, anyway?
Fake
Library Statistic of the Week:
50% of librarians schedule their lunch break in order to avoid having
to eat lunch with the other 50% .
https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Moonbeam:
One may conceive light to spread successively by spherical waves.
--Christiaan Huygens
Irish
Humor: Gallagher is in Boston and he is waiting patiently, also, he
is watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stops
the flow of traffic and shouts, 'Okay pedestrians'. Then he allows
the traffic to pass. He did this several times, and Gallagher is
still standing on the sidewalk. After the cop has shouted
'Pedestrians' for the tenth time, Gallagher approaches him and says,
'Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?'
..........Why
don't you flex your magic muscle?........Captain Beefheart
…..Space-age Couple
Something
to Think About of the Week:
The transformation of winter to spring represents so much in our
lives. During this time, we strive to let go of what has seemingly
bogged us down throughout the long hibernation season, moving forward
with positivity and gratitude. We can think of "spring cleaning"
not only to clear out the clutter in our home, but in our body and
mind as well.
https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-17752/a-simple-meditation-to-declutter-your-mind-for-a-fresh-start.html
Big
Hello: Sälem (Cәлem)– Kazakh (Russia)
Week
of the Week: National Robotics Week
(April 8-16) -
Science
Fiction Convention of the Week: Norwescon 40 (April 13-16,
Seatac, WQA) Over the hills and far away... Sponsored by Angry Robot
Books...
French
Humor: Which ghost was president of France? Charles de Ghoul' / What
is the Guillotine? A French chopping centre.
..........the
“he” is always lower case.........Steve Martin …..Atheists
Don't Have No Songs
^
The maximum lifespan of bottlenose dolphins is between 40 and 50
years.
Almanac:
It is Friday, April 14, 2017. The moon was full (Pink) last Tuesday
and is in Sagittarius. It is Children with Alopecia
Day, Dictionary Day (always part of Library Week. Not the same as
the one in October),
International
Moment of Laughter Day, National Dolphin Day, National Pecan Day, Pan
American Day, Pathologists' Assistant Day, and World Marbles Day. In
Burma it is the annual Water Festival (since 416) and in El Salvador,
Haiti, Honduras, and Venezuela is it Pan American Day/Día de las
Américas. Finally in Laos and Mauritius it is Varusha
Pirruppa,
aka New Years.
Among
those born on this day were Abraham Elsevier (1592), Christiaan
Huygens (1629), Ernst Hesse (1676), Emanuele Barbella (1718), Junius
Morgan (1813), Charles Halle (1819), Edgar Stillman Kelley (1857),
Annie Sullivan (1866), Arnold Toynbee (1889), Vere Childe (1892),
Martin Kessel (1901), Frits Philips (1905), Everhard van Royen
(1913), John Paul Steves (1920), Shorty Rogers (1924), Rod Steiger
(1925), William Thornton (1929), Buddy Knox (1933), George Takei
(1940), Pete Rose (1941), Ryan O'Neal (1941), Steve Martin (1945), Ty
Grimes (Captain Beefheart, 1948), and Sarah Michelle Gellar (1977).
On
April fourteenth Henry VIII expropriated minor monasteries (1536),
the word "telescope" was first used (Cesi, 1611),
Pocahontas married Rolfe (1614), the first US abolitionist society
was organized (1775), NY adopted a new constitution (1777), the US
Medical Corp was formed (1818), the Territory of Wisconsin was
created (1836), Tubman opened the underground railroad (1853), the
first Pony Express rider arrived in San Fancisco (1860), the
continuous rolling printing press was patented (1863), Abraham
Lincoln was shot (1865), the Canadian Homestead Act was passed
(1872), the first kinetoscope was shown to the public (1894), Sousa's
El Capitan
premiered (1896), the Curies insolated the element radium (1902),
Candida
premiered (1904), the Titanic set sail for the final time (1912),
Jeux d'Enfants
premiered (1932), Grapes of Wrath
was
published (1939), the electron microscope was demonstrated (1940), a
flash of light was observed in Plato Crater on the moon (1948), the
Nuremberg trials began (1949), Laika became the first Earthling in
space (Sputnik 2, 1958), Bye Bye
Birdie
opened (1960), the blockade against China was lifted (1971), Desmond
Tutu was elected archbishop of Capetown (1986), and the court
dismissed Apple's lawsuit against Microsoft (1992).
Night
Sky 4/14: Arcturus shines
brightly in the east these evenings, to the left or upper left of
even brighter Jupiter (by about three fists at arm's length).
This
Week: Saturday, April 15 –
Rubber Eraser Day & Take a Wild Guess Day
Night
Sky 4/15: Before and during early dawn Sunday morning, look
for Saturn below or lower left of the waning gibbous Moon.
Sunday,
April 16 - Easter
Monday,
April 17 – International Haiku Poetry Day & Nothing Like
a Dame Day
Tuesday,
April 18 – Pet Owners Independence Day & National Columnists'
Day
Night
Sky 4/18: After sunset Mercury and Mars can be seen in the
west and Jupiter can be seen in the southeast.
Wednesday,
April 19 – Bicycle Day & National Garlic Day & National
Hanging Out Day
Night
Sky 4/19: Before sunrise Jupiter can be seen in the west,
Saturn in the south, and Neptune and Venus in the east.
Thursday,
April 20 – National Pot Smokers Day & National Ask An Atheist
Day
Canadian
Humor: You may live in Canada if you've worn shorts and a parka at
the same time. / You may be in Canada if someone in Home Depot offers
you assistance and they don't even work there.
..........To
run her fingers though his hair..........Buddy Knox …..Party Doll
^^
A dolphin's snout is called a rostrum.
Funniest
thing I read of the Week: The Republican Party: Our Bridge to
the 11th Century --submitted by jgk of ks
'Nother
Funny Thing I Read of the Week: Today, I
am grateful that Russia and Syria did not bomb us for poisoning the
children of Flint Michigan or gassing Natives at Standing Rock.
--Submitted by ma of oh
Moonbeam:
I marched back then – I was in a civil-rights musical, Fly
Blackbird, and we met Martin Luther King. --George Takei
Late
Night Snacks: President Drumpf today met with
the president of China at his Mar-a-Lago resort. And things got off
to an awkward start when Drumpf said, “I thought you were really
funny in the ‘Hangover’ movies.” --Seth Meyers / Nunes is
stepping aside because the House Ethics Committee is determined to
investigate allegations that Nunes may have made unauthorized
disclosures of classified information. “Good news, Congressman
Nunes! We found the leaker! He’s in your mirror.” --Stephen
Colbert / During an interview with Forbes
published yesterday, Drumpf’s son, Eric Drumpf, said he might be
where he is because of nepotism but that is just a “factor of
life.” Wow, Eric sounds pretty smug. But then again he inherited
that from his father too. Also, “factor of life” is not a thing
people say, is it? I think what he meant to say is it’s a FACT of
life — or he meant to say “I’m not the smart son, please stop
asking me questions.” --James Corden / I heard that the White
House is saving all of President Drumpf’s tweets, so they can be
stored in the National Archives. That way future generations can read
Kennedy’s journals, Lincoln’s diaries, and Drumpf’s insults
about Arnold Schwarzenegger. --Jimmy Fallon / Dennis Rodman has more
foreign policy experience than Jared Kushner. --Jimmy Kimmel
Forgiveness
is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude. --Martin Luther
King, Jr.
International
Humor: The Bishop of St. Asaph and his wife were on holiday in Spain
and were just signing in to their hotel in Seville. Now, although
bishops of the Church in Wales have a title their wives are plain
"Mrs". So the good prelate wrote in the register: The
Bishop of St. Asaph and Mrs. Williams. The hotel manager looked at
the register in amazement and taking the Bishop to one side said ,
'In Spain, Bishop, we are not as is commonly said, narrow-minded, and
it is no concern of mine what your relationship is with this woman,
but do you not think you could conduct this affair a little more
discreetly?'
..........Well,
I love her sweet and I love her simple.........Buddy Knox …..Devil
Woman
^^^
Seas cucumbers are a popular delicacy among dolphins.
Worthless
Fact of the Week: The Society for the Relief
of Free Negroes Unlawfully Held in Bondage, the first American
society dedicated to the cause of abolition, is founded in
Philadelphia on this day in 1775. The society changes its name to the
Pennsylvania Society for Promoting the Abolition of Slavery and the
Relief of Free Negroes Unlawfully Held in Bondage in 1784. ~~What
long names you have.
Wicked
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
Don Rickles would say about Stevie
Bannon: We know Darth Vader is your hero but that guy at least had
the decency to wear a mask. --Peter Segal, Wait,
Wait, Don't Tell Me
Weird
Word of the Week:
Decussate – to intersect or cross 2 things to form the shape of an
x. (From Dr. Samuel Johnson's dictionary of 1755.
http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-dec1.htm
Wacky
Uses for Common Products:
Shampoo your hair. Pour a tablespoon of Tang drink mix into the
cupped palm of your hand, add enough water to make a past, then wash
your hair with the first drink mix to go to the moon. The citric
acid in Tang cuts through sebum oil in the hair.
http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/tang.html
South
African Humor:
...........Ooo,
you can turn around and come on back to me...........Steve Martin
…..When You Get to Asheville
^^^^
Dolphins can swim up to 650 feet below the surface of the ocean.
Word
Shakespeare Made Up of the Week: Gossip – rumor or report of
an intimate nature The Comedy of Errors
Act V Scene I Amelia: And you the calendars of their nativity, go
to a gossips' feast and go with me;
Amazing
Thing on the Internet of the Week:
Penguin Cam – from the Vancouver Aquarium...live Penquins.
http://www.vanaqua.org/learn/see-and-learn/live-cams/penguin
Puck
the Brave Episode of the Week:
Here's our fearless Puck dogsplaining bird seed to a squirrel in the
case of the Towering Tree
Cur.
Yorkshire
Humour: 'Ayup' is an all purpose Yorkshire word that means Hello, How
are you? Whassup? What are you up to? Look at this, Oy!, Gerroff, See
that? Bloody hell! Are you listening? Watch out, Where you been? Pay
attention, Wake up...
..........If
you don't hurry there will be no hope..........Captain Beefheart
…..Blabber 'n Smoke
^^^^^
The word dolphin means “beaked”.
Month
of the Week: April is Library Snapshot
Month –
Famous
Kansans:
Amanda
Rogers, a character on Star Trek: The Next Generation, was (will be,
will have been) born in Topeka in 2351.
http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Amanda_Rogers
Today's
Peace of History, April 14, 1988:
The Soviet Union signed a pact to withdraw troops from Afghanistan
after nearly 10 years of occupation.
Final
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
Headline: Pentagon awards contract to United Airlines to forcibly
remove Assad from power. --Submitted by mja of ks
Polish
Humor: A Polish immigrant, called Eryk Kowalski, went to the DVLA to
apply for a driving licence. One of the first tasks was to take a
sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters. On the
bottom row were these letters: 'W A L C Z A K' 'Can you read this?'
asked the tester. 'Read it?' Eryk said with glee - 'I know that
man.'
..........You
have a talent for causing great pain..........Steve Martin
…...Dentist!
Masthead
of the Week:
fRiday ePistle April 14, 2017, fArcical ePistle. Online at:
http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/
Fake
News, Real Pain.
Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS
66046
Moonbeam:
People seldom see the halting and painful steps by which the most
insignificant success is achieved. --Anne Sullivan
Cost
of War:
Tax
dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 4/13/17: $768,727,425,611.
Tax
dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 4/6/17: $767,985,267,904.
Tax
dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 4/13/17:
$820,399,073,652.
Tax
dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 4/6/17:
$820,377,382,777.
Tax
dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 4/13/17: $14,529,056,221.
Tax
dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 4/6/17: $14,414,969,179.
...Cost
for recent bombings in Syria are counted here under fighting isis.
Tax
dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 4/13/17:
$147,036,783,310.
Tax
dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 4/6/17:
$146,401,959,300.
Tax
dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 4/13/17:
$1,755,164,346,292.
Tax
dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 4/6/17:
$1,753,614,263,272.
The
whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows. --Sydney
Harris
..........You'll
never blow my house down..........Captain Beefheart …..Zig Zag
Wanderer
American
Humor: Why do Germans love Americans? Because Americans are the most
hated people in the world now. / If someone who speaks two languages
is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual,
then what do you call someone who speaks one language? An American.
Famous
Last Words: and he took off. --Catch 22
May
Peace inhabit your giggles
And
Joy invade your laughs
prairie
mama
christine
Last
Laugh:
No comments:
Post a Comment