Famous First Words: William Stoner entered the University... John Williams opening line from Stoner published 5/8/65
Happy Flight Attendant Day! Did you know: The flight attendant smile has been fooling passengers since 1912. ₰₰ Most people who instantly dislike their flight attendant do it to save time later.
..........How many roads must a man walk down.........Bob Dylan …..Blowin' In The Wind (recorded 1961)
The women of the world will dominate politics, some day, and you mustn't be too old-fashioned in your notions to join the procession of progress. --L Frank Baum
Christine Update: This week my dermatologist said I have squamous cell carcinoma. There is one less serious kind of skin cancer, but this one rarely spreads to other body parts unless it is left untreated for a while. They will remove the rest of it by Mohs surgery. My date is July 14. Waiting for the results of a biopsy was a brand new experience for me. It is kind of like living in two worlds at once – Schrodinger's world. I'm glad I have the results and I'm glad I don't need radiation or chemo. I was seriously considering not doing either of those if that was the only treatment. Whew!
It is another breezy Friday morning. The sky is covered in clouds that look like they might rain later, but not now. The tree limbs are thrashing about, dancing with the wind and sounding like nature partying. The city is getting ready to send newly educated minds into the world to find jobs and improve our existence. Spring has, indeed, busted out all over and is showing off its new spring coats and colors. A small gathering of squirrels and sparrows are chirping and whatever that is the squirrels do outside my back door. I raise a cup of decaf to them and to the beautiful world they inhabit. Cheers!
Hope your weekend flies like the eagle, ePistliers
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Happy Mothers Day, Mom! Thanks for the womb and board. https://www.facebook.com/TheIndianHillsCommunityCenterAndSign
Frida the flight attendant used to introduce herself as Unexpected Turbulence. ₰₰ Oh, stewardess, what are we flying over right now? “The planet Earth.”
..........You sit back and watch when the death count gets higher.........Bob Dylan …..Masters of War (recorded 1963)
Trivia Questions: It's National Pizza Party Day !!!!!
How many books on pizza does the Library of Congress have?
How many billion pizzas are sold in the US each year?
What is the second most popular pizza topping in the US? (Pepperoni is first, obviously),
Where is the annual Pizza Expo held?
Who was the first Pizza Delivery person?
Big Hello: āssālam 'alaikum – Urdu (Pakistan & India) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My damn car was on E! I put $20 in now it's on E+. --Submitted by RHOZ
Image of the Week: Mad Greek Mother's Day Roses
Warning of the Week: Boy, I say, boy, you're about to exceed the limitations of my medication. https://www.facebook.com/groups/2167113653385149/
Question of the Week: Wonder if I can teach the self cleaning oven how to clean the rest of the kitchen? --Jack Black
Fred the flight attendant always asked passengers what they wanted for lunch and whether it was for here or to go. ₰₰ When announcing the meal choices, Spaghetti with Plane pasta sauce was the favorite.
..........Sure was going to be rough.........Bob Dylan …..Tangled Up In Blue (recorded 1975)
Moonbeam: A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke – and that the joke is oneself. --Clifton Fadiman
Blasphemy of the Week: muffins are unburdened with knowledge; they are innocent, they are free and wild. Cupcake however began wearing clothes after becoming aware of their nakedness. --comradeella --Submitted by Wittenburg Door
Coffee Joke of the Week: A job in the coffee industry does have a lot of perks.
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The easiest way to understand what type of church someone goes to, ask “do your pastors dress like hippies, rappers, businessmen, or wizards? --Ify Nsoha --Submitted by MMS
How often do planes crash? Just once. ₰₰ Flight Attendant: A person who can put up with a lot of hooey and look damned good doing it.
..........Everybody's gonna want a dose.........Bob Dylan …..The Mighty Quinn (recorded 1970)
1) The Library of Congress does not have an exact, publicly listed count of books exclusively about pizza. However, it holds a vast collection of over 40,000 cookbooks, with pizza-related titles.
Almanac: It is Friday, May 15, 2026. The moon will be new tomorrow (5/16) and is in Taurus. The United Nations has declared this International Day of Families. Today is also Flight Attendant Day, National Chocolate Chip Day, International Conscientious Objectors Day, International Kangaroo Care Awareness Day, International MPS Awareness Day, National Slider Day, National Trauma Survivors Day, National Tuberous Sclerosis Day, Peace Officer Memorial Day, Straw Hat Day, and World Orthodontic Health Day. Because it is the Third Friday it is also Endangered Species Day, International Virtual Assistants Day, NASCAR Day, National Bike to Work Day, National Defense Transportation Day, National Pizza Party Day, and World Eel Day. And all weekend is Morel Mushroom Weekend.
Among those born on this day were Claudio Monteverdi (1567), Lyman Frank Baum (1856), Pierre Curie (1859), Bessie Hillman (1889), Kathernie Anne Porter (1890), Richard J. Daley (1902), Clifton Fadiman (1904), Joseph Cotten (1905), Richard Avedon (1923), Jasper Johns (1930), Chazz Palminteri (1946), George Brett (1953), Emmitt Smith (1969), Ray Lewis (1975), and David Krumholtz (1978).
On May fifteenth Anne Boleyn was accused of adultery (1536), Mary, Queen of Scots, married the Earl of Bothwell (1567), Kepler discovered the harmonics law (1618), Massachusetts enacted the first copyright law (1672), the Peace Treaty of Paris was signed (France & Sardinia, 1796), John the Baptist ordained Joseph Smith (1829), the Department of Agriculture was created (1862), the National Woman Suffrage Association formed (1869), Kappa Alpha Psi incorporated (1911), Mickey Mouse first appeared (1928), Nylon stockings go on sale (1940), Rationing of gasoline began (1942), the Warsaw ghetto uprising ended (1943), the Beach Boys released Carl and the Passions: So Tough (1972), the Harlem Globetrotters appeared on Gilligan's Island (1981), Bob Dylan was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame (1982), and Nils Lofgren replaced Steve Van Zant in Springsteen's E Street Band.
Night Sky, 5/15: Mercury becomes visible by the end of the month, quickly increasing its elongation from the Sun.
Fraternal Picture of the Week: Dad and the boys in the extreme outfield of a nearly empty ballpark.
This Week: Saturday, May 16 – International Day of Living In Peace & National Auctioneers Day & National Piercing Day & World Fiddle Day
Night Sky, 5/16: A double shadow transit occurs May 15/16, as Europa and Ganymede’s shadows cross the jovian disk overnight.
Sunday, May 17 – Ride A Unicycle Day & Rural Life Sunday & Take Your Parents To The Playground Day
Monday, May 18 – International Museum Day & Buy A Musical Instrument Day & Visit or Relatives Day
Night Sky, 5/18: A lovely crescent Moon stands 2° north of Venus. Watch as the sky darkens and the earthshine on the Moon becomes more evident.
Tuesday, May 19 – May Ray Day & Accounting Day & National Scooter Day
Night Sky 5/19: Venus crosses into Gemini and stands some 20° west of Jupiter, while the crescent Moon has moved up to meet Jupiter, situated in the middle of Gemini about 7° from the bright planet.
Wednesday, May 20 - Emergency Medical Services For Children Day & EMS Day & National Rescue Dog Day & World Bee Day
Thursday, May 21 – National Memo Day & Shavuot & End of the World Prediction Party
Night Sky 5/21: Sunrise: 6:03 am Sunset: 8:31 pm (14 hours and 27 minutes of daylight) Moonrise: 11:41 am Moonset: 11:16 pm
The best part of being a flight attendant has to be when you walk the aisle saying “trash” to everyone's face. ₰₰ The flight attendant asked me if I wanted a drink. I asked, “what are the options?” She said, “Yes or no”
..........Oh, the flowers of indulgence and the weeds of yesteryear.........Bob Dylan …..Every Grain Of Sand (recorded 19821)
2) Around 3 billion pizzas are sold each year in the US.
Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: JD Vance found 196,000 dead people that are still on Medicaid. Community Note: Dead people are unable to unenroll from Medicaid, because they are dead. Since they are dead, they lack the ability to use Medicaid. Being enrolled in Medicaid and billing Medicaid are not the same thing. --Submitted by gr of oh
Moonbeam: Do something, do something to that, and then do something to that. --Jasper Johns
Fun Fact of the Week: Chocolate chips were invented in 1937 by Ruth Graves Wakefield, who added chopped-up Nestlé semi-sweet chocolate bars to cookie dough, expecting them to melt. Instead, they held their shape, creating the iconic "morsel" that Nestlé later mass-produced to meet demand.
Video of the Week: Bette Midler singing All You Fascists Bound To Lose (with updated lyrics) https://youtu.be/uBj57ivPsxQ (2:30)
It's a man's world, and men can have it. --Kathrine Anne Porter
On a flight from Dublin, Ireland to Boston, the flight attendant made an announcement: "Due to a terrible mistake by the airline's caterer, there are only 80 dinners instead of the 225 required to feed all the passengers on board. To fix the situation, we are offering unlimited drinks to anybody who is willing to give up their meal". Two hours before landing, another announcement was made. "There are still 80 meals available if anybody is hungry". ₰₰ The football player said to the flight attendant, “put me in coach”.
..........In Jersey, anything's legal as long as you don't get caught.........Traveling Wilburys with Bob Dylan …..Tweeter And The Monkey Man (Recorded 1988)
3) Sausage is the second most ordered pizza topping in the US. Mushrooms are third and extra cheese is fourth.
Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day. https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61563097533852
Weird Word of the Week: Noctilucent: shining at night https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/noctilucent
Dragon of the Week:
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Give a freshly waxed dance floor more traction. Mop the floor with Coca-Cola and let dry to add a sticky coating that prevents the dancers from sliding across a slippery dance floor. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola2.html
Second Blasphemy of the Week: America has never been a Christian nation. White Christians have been so busy being white they've never gotten around to being Christian. https://www.facebook.com/EspirituChicano
The flight attendant landed this one on us yesterday. We had just landed on the runway and the flight attendant announced over the speaker. "Hey folks...um yeah, sorry about that rough landing... ...wasn't the captain's fault, ...definitely wasn't my fault, ...it was the asphalt." ₰₰ Do flight attendants prefer their bagels plane?
...........Let the wind blow low, let the wind blow high.........Bob Dylan …..Under The Red Sky (recorded 1990)
4) Las Vegas hosts the Annual Pizza Expo. (Sorry not open to the public)
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm gonna stop calling them MAGA White Evangelicals and start calling them Pulp Fiction Christians. --Mary Ann Bain
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Quantum-Con 4 (15-17, Plymouth, MN) ...a welcoming convention celebrating everything... https://quantum-con.org/
Insult of the Week: You soup fork.
Spark of Joy of the Week: Georgia Sea Otter Cam: https://www.georgiaaquarium.org/webcam/southern-sea-otter-webcam/
Nerd Word of the Week: Micturating: the act of passing urine or urinating, derived from the Latin micturire. It is frequently used in medical contexts. ...Disenfranchising Black people benefits Republicans because Black people vote for Democrats, and Roberts and his fellow party activists on the Court will delete nearly any law that stands in the way of that. The decision might as well have been copy-pasted from the lorem ipsum text. To adjust the saying somewhat, Roberts is micturating directly in our collective eye sockets and then saying “it isn’t raining at all, no sir, and frankly you’re very rude for even mentioning the word ‘wet.’” --Submitted by vr of 66
Henry Winkler sits down on an airplane. The flight attendant comes over and asks him if he would like free headphones. He responds “Sounds great. But it’s pronounced Fonz.” ₰₰ My flight attendant girlfriend just broke up with me. She said we were going in different directions.
..........Well, the devil's in the alley, mule's in the stall.........Bob Dylan …..Mississippi (Recorded 2001)
5) Future king David delivered bread, cheese and grains to his brothers on the battlefield and then hung around to murder Goliath. (I Samuel 17: 17-28) Scholars have decided this happened about 1015 BCE.
Protest Sign of the Week: Mothers Against Donald's Destruction
Bitter Protest Sign of the Week: Sundays 12 -1 63 Exasperating weeks of Fighting for Democracy
Chant of the Week: We don't care about UFOs; Trump is a pedophile, everybody knows!
Quote of the Week: You lost your muchness. You used to be much muchier. --The Mad Hatter Lewis Carroll
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If there's an idiot in power it means those who elected him are well represented. --Submitted by jm of ks
Today's Peace of History: May 15, 1935: The National Labor Relations Act was passed, recognizing workers' rights to organize unions and bargain collectively with their employers.
Another Today's Peace of History: May 15 since 1985: International Conscientious Objectors Day, established to honor those who leave or refuse to enter their country’s armed forces for reasons of principle.
Flight Attendant: Please don't forget to activate 'airplane mode' Me: Running around with my arms spread making airplane noises. ₰₰ A photon decides to go on a day trip to Vegas. When they went to board their plane, the flight attendant said "I'm sorry, did you forget your carry-on?" "No," said the photon, "I'm traveling light".
..........Those icy fingers up and down my spine.........Bob Dylan …..That Old Black Magic (recorded 2016)
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, May 15, 2026: Winged ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.
Moonbeam: A scientist in his laboratory is not only a technician, he is also a child placed before natural phenomena which impress him like a fairy tale. --Pierre Curie
Cost of War:
Pentagon Spending as of 5/14/26: $629,922,819,748 (19 billion, 384 million, 366 thousand, 852 dollars this week)
Pentagon Spending as of 5/07/26: $610,538,452,895
Pentagon Spending as of 5/01/26: $592,500,326,688
Pentagon Spending in April 2026: $81,264,897,194
https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/category/military/
Measles Cases in the US: In May there were 1,842 confirmed measles cases. (94 new cases this month) In April 2026 there were 1,748 confirmed measles cases. In March 2026 there were 1,362 confirmed cases. https://www.cdc.gov/measles/data-research/index.html ~~In the entire year 2010 there were only 63 confirmed cases.
... the political system is changing rapidly in this country, and we better realize that. The elephants or donkeys are not what younger people look to. They look at individual candidates' philosophy, and I think it's a different time and a different generation. --Richard M Daley
Famous Last Words: I must go; the fog is rising. --Emily Dickinson who died may 15th 1886 of kidney failure.
..........Someday, everything is going to be different.........Bob Dylan …..When I Paint My Masterpiece (reissued 2025)
I was okay until the Klingon sitting next to me said to the flight attendant, “Today is a good day to fly”. ₰₰ Why did the flight attendant pass away? She was terminally ill.
May Peace warm your engines
And Joy cool your jets
prairie mama
christine
Last Laugh:
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