mAthematic ePistle

 Famous First Words: Here comes Charlie... Roald Dahl Charlie And The Chocolate Factory

Dedicated to Math Teachers everywhere! Never argue with a 90° angle; they're always right. The two teachers that died for their subject in the Georgia shooting were mathematics teachers. Circumstance or revenge

..........And when I looked the moon had turned to gold.........Mel Torme …..Blue Moon

One of the basic causes of all the trouble in the world today is that people talk too much and think too little. --Margaret Chase Smith

It is a gorgeous Friday morning. The sky is spotted with thin fluffy clouds. There is very little breeze to make the foliage wave and the 70°F is a near perfect temperature. A whiff of brewing coffee fills the house making my mouth wake up. One of the mulberry trees is beginning to thin and some leaves are transitioning to yellow. But the willow is still very green and uses every small gust as dance music. Birds came early and sang us a morning song, but now they are home taking naps or singing in someone else's yard. I am drinking my decaf – sweetened and creamed - and Puck is sleeping on the recliner resting his “weary” head on the Hogwarts express blanket. Another wonderful day here – hope it's true there too.

Hope your weekend adds up to fun, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I don't need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

I've decided to become a math teacher, but I really want to make a difference so I will only teach subtractions. Never trust a math teacher; they're always calculating.

..........I've got you deep in the heart of me.........Mel Torme …..I've Got You Under My Skin

Trivia Questions: Happy Peanut Day

• ^ About how many peanuts does it take to make a 12 ounce jar of peanut butter?
• ^^ Which two peanut farmers have served as president of the United States?
• ^^^ Which astronaut took peanuts to the moon?
• ^^^^ How many of the 6 cities in the US named Peanut can you name?
• ^^^^^ Why are peanuts called goobers?

Big Hello: Aniin - Ojibwe (Canada) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Decaf coffee is like a hairless cat, it exists, but that doesn't make it right. --Submitted by Coffee With Humor

Image of the Week: I watch a lot of basketball and I've seen a lot of buzzer winning shots. But the Chiefs winning after time had run out is a first. One toe over the line, sweet Jesus...

Library Humor of the Week: I'm not a book hoarder. I'm prepping for the possibility that one day I might have 173 years to do nothing but read. --Jonathan Edward Durham

When the math teacher retired she became a farmer; now she is pro-tractor. Obtuse angles are often depressed. It's because they are never right.

..........Grab your hat and we'll head up in the blue.........Mel Torme …..Swinging On The Moon

Moonbeam: The deadliest weapon in the world is a marine with his rifle. --John J Pershing

Blasphemy of the Week: Perhaps the most disturbing thing about the concept of a literal hell is how badly Christians want it to be real. --Deconstruction Girl

PreQuel to Quote of the Week: I must remind you that starving a child is violence. Neglecting school children is violence. Punishing a mother and her family is violence. Discrimination against a working man is violence. Ghetto housing is violence. Contempt for poverty is violence. --Coretta Scott King

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Ethan Kane, of Albuquerque, N.M. Name a famous TV personality of the past. Drop the second letter of this person's last name, and phonetically the first and last names together will sound like a creature of the past. What celebrity is this?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Until a drag queen walks into a school and beats eight kids to death with a copy of “To Kill A Mockingbird”, I think you're focusing on the wrong shit. --Wanda Sykes

You know, math puns are the first sine of madness. I'd tell you my best math joke but you're 2² to get it.

..........I'd like to coo with my baby tonight.........Mel Torme …..Too Darn Hot

^ It takes about 540 peanuts to make a 12 oz jar of peanut butter.

Almanac: It is Friday, September 13, 2024. The moon went into the first quarter on Wednesday (9/11) and is in Capricorn. It is Bald Is Beautiful Day, International Chocolate Day, Kids Take Over The Kitchen Day, National Celiac Awareness Day, National Peanut Day, Roald Dahl Day, Scooby-Doo Day, and Uncle Sam Day. Because it is the first Friday the 13th of the year it is Blame Someone Else Day. Finally, because it is the second Friday it is also Hug Your Boss Day and Cloud Appreciation Day.

Among those born on this day were Grigory Potemkin (1739), Walter Reed (1851), John J. Pershing (1860), Sherwood Anderson (1876), Roald Dahl (1916), Ray Charles (1918), Mel Torme (1925), Barbara Bain (1931), Judith Martin (1938), Jacqueline Bisset (1944), and Nell Carter (1948).

On September thirteenth work began on Hadrian's Wall (122), New York City became the capital of the nation (1788), Margaret Chase Smith became the first woman to serve in both houses of Congress (1948), the LPGA formed (1949), The Outer Limits premiered (1963) and for the first time Today was broadcast totally in color (1965).

Night Sky, 9/13: Bright Vega now passes the zenith an hour after sunset during late twilight, for those of us at mid-northern latitudes. Vega is bigger, hotter, and 50 times brighter than our Sun. But at a distance of 25 light-years, it's 1,600,000 times farther away.

http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Keepers of the Flame...well, at least...Appreciators of the Flame

This Week: Saturday, September 14 – Fall Astronomy Day & National Sober Day & Prairie Day

Sunday, September 15 – International Day of Democracy & National Day of the Cowgirl & Mawlid AL Nabi

Night Sky, 9/15: The waxing gibbous Moon forms a nearly equilateral triangle with Saturn to its left and Fomalhaut to its lower left. The triangle is about 20° on one side.

Monday, September 16 – National Guacamole Day & National Stepfamily Day & Trail of Tears Commemoration Day

Tuesday, September 17 - Citizenship Day & Responsible Dog Ownership Day & Time's Up Day

Night Sky, 9/17: Partial Luna Eclipse https://www.timeanddate.com/eclipse/lunar/2024-september-18

Wednesday, September 18 - International Equal Pay Day & National Ask An Atheist Day & National Respect Day

Thursday, September 19 – International Day of Listening & National PawPaw Day & Talk Like A Pirate Day

Mathematics: The only subject that counts. Is arithmetic pre-math?

..........Let the blue skies be your coverlet.........Mel Torme …..Mountain Greenery

^^ Thomas Jefferson and Jimmy Carter were both peanut farmers.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Everybody Is Wrong But Me: A Beginner's Guide to Arguing Theology on the Internet. --Submitted by Laughing Librarian

Moonbeam: If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely. --Roald Dahl

Conspiracy Theory of the Week: King Charles II is a vampire. 1) He is a distant relative of Vlad the Impaler. 2) He has Porphyria, an iron deficiency disease that causes people to be sensitive to sunlight. https://www.ewn.co.za/2024/05/06/king-charles-a-vampire-why-people-believe-conspiracy-theories

Video of the Week: Why is Friday the Thirteenth Considered Unlucky: (1:28) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rr_fOOjpt7Q

Moral cowardice that keeps us from speaking our minds is as dangerous to this country as irresponsible talk. --Margaret Chase Smith

Geometry teachers are always tired. They have way too many angles to cover. I'm glad I'm not a mathematics textbook. They have way too many problems.

..........Just as wonderful with both feet on the ground.........Mel Torme …..Second Time Around

^^^ Alan Shepard brought a peanut with him to the moon.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Walmart thinks I want to put up my Christmas tree and eat turkey while wearing my Halloween costume. --Submitted by bc of tx

Weird of the Week: Meliorism: the belief that we can contribute to positive change and improve the world through acts of love, creativity, compassion, and kindness. https://themeliorist.ca/2023/01/06/what-is-meliorism/

Dragon of the Week: Patio Dragon

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Prevent car battery corrosion. After cleaning corrosion from car battery terminals, smear ChapStick on the clean terminals to prevent the terminals from corroding again. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/chapstick.html

Mathematics Teacher: A person who helps you solve problems you would never have had without them. I don't trust my math teacher. Today he said x equal 43. Yesterday he said it equaled 5.

...........I'm wild again, beguiled again.........Mel Torme …..Bewitched

^^^^ 1) Peanut, CA 2) Lower Peanut, PA 3) Peanut, PA 4) Upper Peanut, PA 5) Peanut, TN 6) Peanut West, VA

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: You should sit in nature for twenty minutes a day. Unless you're busy, then you should sit for an hour.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Return To Hill Valley 2024 (14-15, Jamestown, CA) Railtown, 1897 Historical State Park https://www.visittuolumne.com/eventdetail/2142/back-to-the-future-return-to-hill-valley

Actual Science Conference of the Week: IMTS 2024 (9-14, Chicago, IL) International Manufacturing Technology Show https://www.imts.com/

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Dinah Shore → Dinosaur

Not all math puns are terrible. Just sum. How did the hypotenuse get ready for Hogwarts? She went to Diagon Ally.

..........Skin as smooth as milk..........Nell Carter …..White Boys (Hair)

^^^^^ The nickname, goober, comes from “nguba”, the Congo language name for peanuts. Peanuts are also sometimes called “ground nuts” or ground peas.

Fun Fact of the Week: Across the globe, including in the United States, Mawlid al-Nabi, the birthday of the Prophet Muhammad, is celebrated on the twelfth day of the month Rabi’ al-Awwal.

Quote of the Week: When out of fear you twist the lesser evil into the lie that it is something good, you eventually rob people of the capacity to differentiate between good and evil. --Hannah Arendt

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My emotional support dog ate my comfort food.

Today's Peace of History, September 13, 1982: The European Parliament voted to phase out promotion and advertising of war toys throughout the 25 countries of the European Union (formerly European Economic Community).

You know what seems odd to me? Number that can't be divided by two. When the math teacher told her students they couldn't use tables for the test, they all sat on the floor.

..........I'm invisible..........Nell Carter …..I'm Black (Hair)

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, September 13, 2024, mAthematical ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Somewhere inside of us all of us is the power to change the world. --Roald Dahl

Cost of War:

• As of 09/12/24 State Department Costs: $245,612,107,605
• As of 09/05/24 State Department Costs: $245,066,291,307
• As of 09/12/24 Homeland Security: $1,178,492,512,841
• As of 09/05/24 Homeland Security: $1,177,899,568,641
• As of 09/12/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,245,123,742,465
• As of 09/05/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,243,598,821,977
• As of 09/12/24 Military Costs: $3,105,056,984,372
• As of 09/05/24 Military Costs: $3,103,899,029,607
• As of 09/12/24 Veterans Care: $3,863,618,301,659
• As of 09/05/24 Veterans Care: $3,852,056,368,318
• As of 09/12/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,637,905,328,706.
• As of 09/05/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,622.518,923,815.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Every human being is entitled to courtesy and consideration. Constructive criticism is not only to be expected but sought. --Margaret Chase Smith

Second Quote of the Week: We need to sit on the rim of the well of darkness and fish for fallen light with patience, --Pablo Neruda

Famous Last Words: Let the sunshine in. --The Final words of Hair

..........Then peace will guide the planets and love will steer the stars.........Nell Carter …..Aquarius

At my seventy first birthday my old math teacher told me not to give up hope. One of these days algebra WILL be useful to me. If I had a dollar for every time algebra has helped me, I'd have x dollars.

May Peace guide our planet
And Joy steer our stars
prairie mama
christine

Last Laugh: