eDucated ePistle

 Famous First Words: For the fourth time in the history of the Republic... Chester A Arthur Inaugural Address 1881

It's the International Day of the University! My daughter went to the University of Colorado and joined the hiking team. So now I call her the Walking Debt. A history professor and a psychology professor were members of the local nudist colony. One day the history professor asked the psychology professor if he had read Marx. The Psych professor answered, “Yes, I think it's from the wicker furniture”.

..........You may say that I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.........John Lennon …..Imagine

Nothing is a bigger waste of time than regretting the past and worrying about the future. –James Meredith

It is a beautiful Friday morning. I woke up with a little dizziness and went back to sleep. Now the morning is well underway. Temperatures have risen to 83°F smothering the cool of the morning with heat and humidity. A wind is blowing around the yellowing, withering mulberry leaves and wildly whipping the willow branches still dressed in their summer greens. The Kansas sky is a pale blue without a cloud to hide its glory. I am listening to Odetta sing Water Boy and watching the leaves dancing to that rhythm. My coffee is cold, but I'm still enjoying it, savoring every sip. The delightful field sunflower in the neighbor's yard has finally lost its top flowers and the friendly yellow circles are consigned to the bottom, hard to see, areas. It seems like an excellent metaphor for autumn's treatment of summer. Suddenly an old Zen joke leaped to my mind. Two monks are sitting zazen in the garden. One says to the other, “Life is such a gas.”

Hope your weekend is as much fun as spring break, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Get out there and be the surprise onion ring in somebody's French fries today. --Submitted by INRITH

I think university athletes should get paid to play. Except Tennessee, of course, they're the Volunteers. A university professor of geology was very worried about his recent paper on earthquakes. Seems his research was on shaky ground.

..........Say you want a revolution. We better get one right away.........John Lennon …..Power To The People

Trivia Questions: Happy National Punch Day

• ^ Where does the word punch come from?
• ^^ How did punch get to England?
• ^^^ When did punch get to the new world?
• ^^^^ What made “punch” go Hawaiian? ~~My AI insists that a “the” should be inserted before punch, but it settled for quote marks.
• ^^^^^ Who currently makes Hawaiian Punch?

Big Hello: chuu wuganabaira - Okinawan https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I need someone to explain to me why it's always “if you can't pay the rent, buy fewer lattes and avocado toasts: AND NOT “if you can't pay your employees a living wage, buy fewer yachts, rockets, and spacecrafts.” Explain it to me like I'm in kindergarten.

Image of the Week: Haiti Celebrates Cats. This sculpture is from a “rural town” in Haiti (Either the town or the artist is Dickson.)

Book Humor of the Week: Life Hack: Don't buy more books first and then stress about where to put them. Buy extra bookshelves first and then the only practical thing to do is fill them up with more books. https://www.instagram.com/librarian.humor/

Employer: To succeed here you'll need to forget everything you learned in college. Me: I never went to university. Employer: Then you're not qualified to work here. I asked my history of science professor if she could tell me what happened before the Big Bang. She said, “Sorry, no time”.

..........It's time to spread our wings and fly.........John Lennon …..(Just Like) Starting Over

Moonbeam: It is foolish to be convinced without evidence, but it is equally foolish to refuse to be convinced by real evidence. --Upton Sinclair

Blasphemy of the Week: All religions are paths to reach God. They are --to make a comparison—like different languages, different dialects, to get there. But God is God for everyone. --Pope Francis to children in Singapore. ~~In the Sermon on the Mount (Mathew Chapters 5-7) Jesus says the same thing “Seek and ye shall find”. If you go looking for God, you find God.

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Michael Schwartz, of Florence, OR. Take the name of a watercraft that contains an odd number of letters. Remove the middle letter and rearrange the remaining ones to name a body of water. What words are these? --NPR Sunday Puzzle 9/15/24

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Running feels great. Unless you compare it to not running. --Submitted by sb of ar

What do you call a test tube with a university degree? A graduated cylinder. For a while the Biology professor and the Physics professor were an item. But they finally broke up because there was no chemistry.

..........I don't believe in the Beatles.........John Lennon …..God

^ Punch comes from the Hindustani word panch which means five. The original 5 ingredients were alcohol, sugar, water, lemon, and tea or spices.

Almanac: It is Friday, September 20, 2024. The moon was full (Harvest* aka Sturgeon) on Wednesday (9/18) and is in Taurus. It is National Punch Day, Constitution Day/Pledge Across America, International Day of University, National Bakery Day, National Care for Kids Day, National Fried Rice Day, and National String Cheese Day. Because it is the third Friday it is also International Grenache Day, National Concussion Awareness Day, National POW/MIA Recognition Day, and National Tradesmen Day.

*The Harvest moon is the full moon closest to the autumnal equinox. In 2024 the equinox is on the morning of September 22. Sometimes the October full moon is closer.

Among those born on this day were Upton Sinclair (1878), Jelly Roll Morton (1885), Red Auerbach (1917), Joyce Brothers (1928), John A Wismont (1941), Fran Drescher (1957), and Matthew and Gunnar Nelson (1967).

On September twentieth Magellan started off to sail around the world (1519), USS Constitution launched (Old Ironsides, 1797), the electric range was patented (1859), Chester A. Arthur was sworn in as president (1881), the Equal Rights Party nominated women as candidates for both president and vice president (1884), James Meredith was kept from entering Ole Miss (1962), Billie Jean King beat Bobby Riggs (1973), NASA launched HEAO (1979), and the NFL players began a 57 day strike (1982).

Night Sky, 9/20: Arcturus shines in the west these evenings after twilight fades out. Capella, equally bright, is barely rising in the north-northeast (depending on your latitude; the farther north you are the higher it will be.) They're both magnitude 0. Later in the evening, around 9 or 10 pm depending on your location, Arcturus and Capella shine at the same height in their respective compass directions. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Tree Huggers

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying.

This Week: Saturday, September 21 – International Coastal Cleanup Day & International Red Panda Day & National Dance Day

Sunday, September 22 – Hobbit Day & Ice Cream Cone Day & World Rivers Day

Night Sky, 9/22: Autumnal Equinox: Earth crosses the September equinox point in its orbit at 8:44 am EDT (12:44 UT). This is when the Sun crosses Earth's equator on its six-month apparent journey south. Fall officially begins in the Northern Hemisphere, spring in the Southern Hemisphere. Coincidentally, as if to mark this transition every year, Deneb is gradually taking over from brighter Vega as the zenith star after nightfall (for skywatchers at mid-northern latitudes).

Monday, September 23 – Celebrate Bi-sexuality Day & International Day of Sign Languages

Tuesday, September 24 – Punctuation Day & National Woman Road Warrior Day

Wednesday, September 25 – World Lung Day & National Daughters Day & Open The Magic Day

Night Sky, 9/25: Saturn (magnitude +0.7, in Aquarius) is a few days past opposition. Look for it glowing fairly low in the east-southeast as the stars come out. It's to the lower right of the Great Square of Pegasus, which is balancing on one corner. The Square's upper-right edge points diagonally to Saturn, two fists at arm's length away.

Thursday, September 26 – Johnny Appleseed Day & World Contraception Day & National Dumpling Day

The definition of an optimist is a college student who opens her billfold and expects to find money. I'm not sure about our biology professor. He's sloppy and dresses funny, but he claims his are designer genes.

..........If you ever change your mind about leaving it all behind.........John Lennon …..Remember

^^ Sailors en route to England via India are believed to have created and imported punch.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: In England, “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”. --Submitted by sb of ar

Confession of the Week: I'm not only tired of Trump in the news, I'm tired of people making fun of him. This limits my late night talk show choices.

Moonbeam: You don't have to be satisfied with America as you find it. You can change it. I didn't like the way I found America some sixty years ago, and I've been trying to change it ever since. --Upton Sinclair

Fun Fact of the Week: On September 20, 1973 the body of Gram Parsons, the guitar player for The Flying Burrito Brothers and The Byrds, was stolen and taken to Joshua Tree National Park, where it was set on fire. https://calendar.songfacts.com/september/20/17622

Video of the Week: Jelly Roll Morton playing Tiger Rag (3:11) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujFWZrs6pow

Liberal whites are the greatest enemy of African Americans. --James Meredith

The answer to “what's your son taking at the university?” is every penny I have. I think the head of my department is the best professor joke there is.

..........Some kind of Druid dude, lifting the veil.........John Lennon …..Mind Games

^^^ Punch was brought to the Western world around the time of Columbus, suggesting that he carried it on his voyages.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If Taylor Swift is what it takes to beat MAGA then sequin my ass and call me a Swifty. --Submitted by ff of ks

Weird Word of the Week: Nocebo – something that induces a feeling of ill-health for no very good medical reason, the opposite of a placebo. https://www.worldwidewords.org/tp-noc1.html

Dragon of the Week: This is Blaze who is the mascot for Tiffin University in Tiffin, OH.

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Lubricate a zipper. To make a zipper zip smoothly, rub ChapStick along the teeth of the zipper on trousers, jackets, backpacks, tents, or sleeping bags. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/chapstick.html

The difference between an American student and an English student is about 3, 000 miles. The difference between a university professor and a terrorist is that you can negotiate with a terrorist.

...........What in the world you're thinking of..........John Lennon …..Instant Karma

^^^^ Hawaiian Punch syrup was created by 3 guys (Leon,Yeats, & Harrison) in a garage in Fullerton, CA in the 1930s as an ice cream topping.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences. --Robert Lewis Stevenson

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Edmonton Expo (20-22, Edmonton) Find your fandom family... https://fanexpohq.com/edmontonexpo/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: TECHSPO Singapore (19-20, Singapore) Where Business, Tech and Innovation collide... https://techsposingapore.sg/

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Gondola → Lagoon

At the university some students are here on scholarship and others on second mortgage. A parent called the dean of women's office and expressed her concern that her daughter didn't have much money and so couldn't afford a sorority. Without money who could she hang out with. The dean suggested she could hang out with the faculty.

..........Two spirits dancing so strange Ah, Bowakawa, pousse pousse.........John Lennon …..9 Dream

^^^^^ Hawaiian Punch is manufactured by Keurig Dr Pepper. Hawaiian Punch contains orange, pineapple, passion fruit, guava, and papaya. So it still has 5 ingredients. However the punch is currently available in 14 different flavors.

Conspiracy Theory of the Week: Ryan Wesley Routh, the suspect charged in connection with the second “assassination attempt” on Trump, self-published an e-book on Ukraine in which he said Iran was “free to assassinate Trump as well as me”. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/sep/17/trump-assassination-attempt-conspiracy-theories

Quote of the Week: Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you! --Dr Seuss

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm not antisocial, I'm vibrationally selective.

Today's Peace of History, September 20, 1997: 3,000 protesters helped to rip up the railroad tracks leading from Krummel nuclear power station to the main Hamburg-Berlin line.

My son, who's nickname is Tabby, says he's going to college to study string theory. Physics professors have theories. Economics professors have concepts of theories.

..........After all, I'm forever in your debt.........John Lennon …..Woman

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, September 20, 2024, eDucated ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: One of the necessary accompaniments of capitalism in a democracy is political corruption. --Upton Sinclair

Cost of War:

• As of 09/19/24 State Department Costs: $246,163,433,960
• As of 09/12/24 State Department Costs: $245,612,107,605
• As of 09/19/24 Homeland Security: $1,179,091,356,643
• As of 09/12/24 Homeland Security: $1,178,492,512,841
• As of 09/19/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,246,163,299,899
• As of 09/12/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,245,123,742,465
• As of 09/19/24 Military Costs: $3,106,225,825,459
• As of 09/12/24 Military Costs: $3,105,056,984,372
• As of 09/19/24 Veterans Care: $3,875,290,058,974
• As of 09/12/24 Veterans Care: $3,863,618,301,659
• As of 09/19/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,653,436,281,854
• As of 09/12/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,637,905,328,706.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

What I did at Ole Miss had nothing to do with going to classes. My objective was to destroy the system of white supremacy. --James Meredith

Famous Last Words: I love you. Jim ~~Jim Croce died 9/20/73 He had posted a letter to his wife which she did not receive until after his death.

..........revolution, evolution, mastrubation, flagellation, regulation, integrations.........John Lennon …..Give Peace A Chance ~~On September 20, 1969, John Lennon announced he was leaving the Beatles. Today's songs are all hits after he went solo.

My college roommate was obsessed with trying to discover the largest known prime number. Wonder what she's up to now? I once taught an 8 am French 101 class. So many grandparents died that semester. Next term I taught at 3 pm. No more deaths. And that, my friends, is how I save lives.

May Peace be your text
And Joy be your mentor
prairie mama
christine

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