wAxy ePistle

 Famous First Words: In the future, an everlasting peace and friendship shall reign... Treaty of Prague 1866

August is National Crayon Collection Month! It's about making sure every child has crayons to begin the new school year. I don't have the time or the crayons to explain this to you here. / Nurses always carry a red crayon in case they have to draw blood.

..........His face so soft and wondrous fair.........Nina Simone …..Black Is the Color of My True Love's Hair

Where justice is denied, where poverty is enforced, ignorance prevails, and where any one class is made to feel that society is an organized conspiracy to oppress, rob and degrade them, neither persons nor property will be safe.” --Stephen Douglass

It is a cool (66°F) Friday morning. The sky is cloudy and textured with stripes of white and gray. There is no wind to stir the willow or move the mulberry. The stillness extends to birds – no movement, no song - and to humans – no motors revving or doors banging. A quiet, cool morning to cheer the heart and set the stage for a great weekend. The sun is finding small slots and holes to shine its way onto the storage shed and the tall, tall sunflower plant that no longer has any blossoms. Puck is taking his morning nap, with a snore that sounds a lot like purring – only louder. The household too is quiet as if everyone else is still asleep. Veronica the Cat has not even been here to check out the window to the backyard or to request a pinch of catnip to start the day. So, I take a long slow sip of sweet, creamy decaf, put on my earphones so my music doesn't wake anyone and I write to you. What a great morning.

Hope the weekend shows you all the color of your life, ePistlers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If thieves wear sneakers and artists wear sketchers, then linguists must wear converse. --Submitted by INRITH

When my partner or I are feeling down, we color tattoos on each other...a shoulder to crayon. / The white crayon is seeing a therapist. He says he feels useless.

..........Softer than satin was the light.........Bobby Vinton …..Blue Velvet

Trivia Questions: Happy 270^th Birthday to Louis XVI

• ^ Do we know what XVI's given name was?
• ^^ Do you know who Mrs XVI was?
• ^^^ With what “woke” reforms did XVI try to update France?
• ^^^^ Which of these reforms led to the bread riots of 1776?
• ^^^^^ What tactic, also used by Judge Alito, did XVI use to excuse himself from responsibility?

Big Hello: Goddag – Norwegian https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Imagine that you are out on the ocean having a nice cruise but your ship starts to sink and you are surrounded by sharks. What would you do? STOP IMAGINING

Image of the Week:

Library Joke of the Week: Cardigans are the lab coats of library science. Laughing Librarian

It's tricky becoming friends with other parents. Your kids will be besties for a while, then, out of nowhere, someone uses the wrong color crayon and I can't speak to their parents ever again. We are sworn enemies now. / Crayons are like m&ms, no matter what the color, they all taste the same.

..........Hair of gold and lips like cherries..........Tom Jones …..Green Green Grass of Home

Moonbeam: The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. --Mark Russell

Blasphemy of the Week: The sacred exists only at the expense of the truth. --Mark Russell

Retro Puzzle of the Week: This challenge came from listener Sandy Weisz, of Chicago. Think of a place on earth with a four-word name. Take the third word. Advance three of its letters to the next letter of the alphabet (so A would become B, B would become C, etc.). You'll get the fourth word in the name. What place is this? NPR Sunday Puzzle August 30,2020

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: An opinion without 3.14 is an onion. --Submitted by sb of ar

So many crayons, so little time. / Crayons often vacation in Color-ado.

..........Letters I've written never meaning to send.........Moody Blues …..Nights in White Satin

^ Louis XVI was born Louis Auguste Bourbon, second son of Louis, Dauphin of France (1729-1765) and Maria Josepha of Saxony.

Almanac: It is Friday, August 23, 2024. The moon was full (Sturgeon) last Sunday (8/19) and is in Aries. The United Nations has declared this International Day for the Rembrance of the Slave Trade and its Abolition (UNESCO). It is Rudolph Valentino Day, Black Ribbon Day, Cuban Sandwich Day, Find Your Inner Nerd Day, and Ride The Wind Day.

Among those born on this day were Louis XVI (1754), John Sherman Cooper (1901), Gene Kelly (1912), Bob Crosby (1913), Mark Russell (1932), Barbara Eden (1934), Sonny Jurgensen (1934), Keith Moon (1947), Shelley Long (1949), Queen Noor of Jordan (1951), and River Phoenix (1970).

On August twenty-third the Treaty of Prague ended the Austro-Prussian war (1866), the National Negro Business League was organized (1900), and Intelsat was launched (1973).

Night Sky, 8/23: The brightest star high in the southeast these evenings is Altair, with little orange Tarazed above it by a finger-width at arm's length. A little more than a fist-width to Altair's left is delicate Delphinus, the Dolphin, leaping left. Above Altair, slightly less far, is smaller, fainter Sagitta, the Arrow. It too is pointing leftward. You'll need a nice dark sky. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Max and Ollie learning the ropes

This Week: Saturday, August 24 – Knife Day & Pluto Demotion Day & Vesuvius Day

Sunday, August 25 – Go Topless Day & Kiss and Make Up Day & National Park Service Day

Night Sky, 8/25: Last-quarter Moon tonight; exactly so at 5:26 am, Monday morning. The Moon is now a few degrees lower left of the Pleiades. And, Algol in Perseus shines two fists upper left of the Moon.

Monday, August 26 – National Dog Day & National Toilet Paper Day & Women's Equality Day

Tuesday, August 27 – Just Because Day & National Cinema Day & World Rock Scissors Paper Day

Wednesday, August 28 – National Week Out Hate Day & National Bow Tie Day & Read Comics in Public Day

Night Sky, 8/28: Uranus (magnitude 5.7, in western Taurus) is some 20° west of Jupiter in the early morning hours. You'll need a good finder chart to identify it among surrounding faint stars.

Thursday, August 29 – According to Hoyle Day & More Herbs, Less Salt Day & International Day Against Nuclear Tests

I heard that the reason Julius Caesar brought crayons was to mark Anthony. / I bought a smart pencil sharpener. When it hones a crayon it always says it “looks sharp today”. / I left my crayon box on the table where the sun streamed in and melted several. Now the strawberry is blueberry.

..........If you could see 'em now, you'd be proud.........Zach Bryan …..Pink Skies

^^ XVI married Austrian archduchess Marie-Antoinette, daughter of Maria Theresa and Francis I, the Holy Roman Emperor.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I am so jealous of people who know how to just shut up. I shut up and subtitles come out of my face. --Submitted by INRITH

Moonbeam: Young people, take heart: the older you get, the fewer commandments you will have the strength to break. --Mark Russell

Conspiracy Theory of the Week: A conservative think tank that is planning for a complete overhaul of the federal government in the event of a Republican presidential win is suggesting that President Joe Biden might try to hold the White House “by force” if he loses the November election. https://apnews.com/article/heritage-foundation-biden-trump-election-2024-3056df8a1ea882e23f8e2faf2eff7a3b

Video of the Week: Mark Russell singing “I am the very model of a candidate political...” and some other satire. (5:39) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSQ93y6kVxQ ~~Some where in the middle of this Russell looks very like Stephen Cobert.

I prayed for freedom for twenty years, but received no answer until I prayed with my legs. --Stephen Douglass

In my crayon box, the yellow color is the highlight. / Do you ever just listen to someone and think, they have the IQ of a crayon? / Mom says the only berry with a coloring book is a crayon-berry.

..........'Scuse me while I kiss the sky.........Jimi Hendrix …..Purple Haze

^^^ Applying Enlightenment ideas, XVI attempted to increase tolerance toward non-Catholics. He also tried to abolish the death penalty for deserters. His chief opposition was the French nobility.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Study finds 100% of men would eat any fruit offered to them by a naked woman. --Submitted by SH

Weird Word of the Week: Tergiversate – If you've ever spotted somebody wriggling and being evasive, trying to avoid giving a straight answer to a straight question, then you have observed tergiversate. https://www.worldwidewords.org/ww-ter1.html

Dragon of the Week: I do not know what city has this or what sort of sign it is; but it is lovely.

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean cooked-on oil from a popcorn popper or baked-on food from a pot or pan. Mix a heaping tablespoon of Cascade with hot water, put it in the popper (pot or pan), and let soak overnight. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cascade.html

Veronica the Cat's favorite crayon is purrrrrple. / Why can't you draw blood with an orange crayon because it isn't sharp enough.

...........On a dilly dilly day..........Burl Ives ….Lavender's Blue

^^^^ XVI deregulated the grain market. But a couple of years of bad harvests and bread prices rose and scarcity followed.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The pros and cons of having me as a friend...Pro: You have a friend Con: It's me.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Bubonicon 55 (Albuquerque, 23-25) ...Green Slime Awards... https://www.bubonicon.com/

bware! Review of the Week: JD Vance is just creepy. Every time I see him I think his breath must reek of cheap spirits. Tim Walz is delightful. He's funny, he's smart – book and street, friendly and down to earth. Everything you could want in a person whose job it is to do nothing. BUT the Green Party has chosen Butch Ware. The youngest, hippest VP candidate. The most attractive of the lot by a couple of miles. He has books smarts as professor of West African History at UC, Santa Barbara. https://www.history.ucsb.edu/faculty/bware/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Society of Petroleum Engineers Artificial Lift Conference and Exhibition (Woodlands, TX : 20-24) ...to unite pioneering minds... https://www.spe-events.org/artificiallift/#:~:text=SPE%20Artificial%20Lift%20Conference%20and%20Exhibition%20%7C%2020%2D24%20August%202024

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Cape of Good Hope G = H / o stays the same / O = P / E = D

The Peanuts Crayon Box includes Great Pumpkin Orange and Charlie Brown. / My teeth are so yellow, I've never needed crayons to color my sun.

..........Make straight for the shore.........The Platters …..Red Sails in the Sunset

^^^^^ “seems to have been completely dominated by the queen, who must bear the chief blame for the court's subsequent political duplicity.” ...

Fun Fact of the Week: National Ride The Wind Day celebrates the first human-powered flight - On August 23, 1977, the Gossamer Condor, piloted by Bryan Allen, flew a figure-eight course at Minter Field in Shafter, California, at a speed of 11 miles per hour for a distance of 2,172 meters. The Gossamer Condor was designed by Dr. Paul B MacCready and is now on display at the Smithsonian alongside the Wright Brothers Plane and the Apollo 11 moon capsule.

Quote of the Week: Bill Clinton, bless his heart, still doesn't know when to shut up. --Steve Butcher

My Brother Stories: My niece, Deirdre, wrote: My dad: “Biden came to our house when we lived in Delaware, 50 years ago.” ...most likely campaigning. He was a champion retail campaigner. I now remember my parents talking about this when Obama picked him as VP. ~~Even my brother's mundane, everyday stories turn interesting in the end.

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Missouri has 2 major cities. Both of them look like they are desperately trying to get out of the state. --Submitted by sb of ar

Today's Peace of History, August 23, 1838: Mt. Holyoke Female Seminary in South Hadley, MA, graduated its first class.

At the crayon prom, the host was Yellow. She was from Spain and shouted Crayhola to everyone as they entered. / My black crayon and my white crayon used themselves up trying to create 50 shades of gray.

..........Always young and fair to me.........Daniel O'Donnell …..Silver Threads Among the Gold

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, August 23, 2024, wAxy ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: The Republicans have a new healthcare proposal: Just say NO to illness. --Mark Russell

Cost of War:

• As of 08/22/24 State Department Costs: $243,950,177,310
• As of 08/15/24 State Department Costs: $243,395,277,997
• As of 08/22/24 Homeland Security: $1,176,687,331,928
• As of 08/15/24 Homeland Security: $1,176,084,550,462
• As of 08/22/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,240,481,821,085
• As of 08/15/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,238,931,816,735
• As of 08/22/24 Military Costs: $3,101,532,553,820
• As of 08/15/24 Military Costs: $3,100,355,707,836
• As of 08/22/24 Veterans Care: $3,828,431,521,917
• As of 08/15/24 Veterans Care: $3,816,682,203,314
• As of 08/22/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,591,084,960,248
• As of 08/15/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,575,450,979,631

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. --Stephen Douglass

Famous Last Words: If you don't like it, then you can f**k off. --Keith Moon Who died 9/7/78

..........Days when the rains came..........Van Morrison …..Brown Eyed Girl

Rejected crayon names: Presidential Orange, Privileged White, and Travel Ban Brown. / After Trump changed the course of that hurricane with a magic marker, the House approved a budget of 12 crayons for the border wall.

May Peace paint your days
And Joy color your nights
prairie mama
christine

Last Laugh: