hUgo's ePistle

Famous First Words: Born on a mountain top in Tennessee... Davy Crocket ...in honor of Fess Parker's birthday

Today is the 140th birthday of Hugo Grensback, founder and editor of Amazing Stories magazine. It was a science fiction literary magazine that was a starting point for many young writers. The primary reason aliens haven't visited our solar system is the reviews. Only one star. / I don't think the stories in Amazing Stories helped. Who'd wanna go there? More about Hugo

..........Leave blue green footprints that glow in the dark.........The Byrds …..Mr Spaceman

The most persistent threat to freedom, to the rights of Americans, is fear. George Meany

It is a fine (77°F) Friday morning. The sun is shining, the sky is cloudless, and a breeze (5 mph) moves the willow in graceful sweeps and the mulberry leaf by leaf. Several birds have come and told their morning story and moved on leaving the quiet white-noise humming of my computer. Puck is munching treats, although he had done little to deserve them, before his morning nap beneath my feet. Veronica has not been to my room since the drain overran the hall floor. It's dry now, but she is very opposed to wet feet. I am drinking my morning decaf and munching a chocolate croissant – the kind from Dillons, not the ones from the actual French bakery. They are delicious nonetheless. Jeff has taken up vaping and so today the house smells of fruit, or maybe, it's a smoky floral. I light a cone of green incense; likely, the scent cannot be erased but perhaps it can be replaced. And with the last bit of chocolate melting in my mouth, I say, welcome to the weekend, enjoy.

Hope your weekend is full of wonder and amazement, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Better to have tampons in the bathroom than classified documents. --Submitted by ff of ks

My neighbor told me she saw an alien on the way to work this morning. I asked how she knew it was on its way to work? / No, our sun, Sol, didn't go to college. He already had 10,000 degrees.

..........Swamp monster with a hard-on for connectivity.........Arctic Monkey …..Science Fiction

Trivia Questions: Happy National Roller Coaster Day!

• ^ Who invented the roller coaster?
• ^^ Where was the first roller coaster installed?
• ^^^ When did the full circuit roller coaster first appear?
• ^^^^ How many roller coasters existed in 1900?
• ^^^^^ How many roller coasters are operating today?

Big Hello: Dumêlang – Northern Sotho (South Africa) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The town of Dull in Scotland has twinned with the town of Boring, Oregon since 2012. In 2013 the town of Bland, Australia joined them in what has become known as the “Trinity of Tedium”.

Image of the Week:

Writer's Joke of the Week: I write because I don't know what I think until I read what I say. --Flannery O'Connor

An alien with three eyes is called an aliiien. / An astrophysicist, a dentist, and an electrician walked into a bar. It was Queen and this was their first gig.

..........Tell me do I look like a desperate man.........Glenn Frey …..Love In the 21^st Century

Moonbeam: Let my epitaph be, “Here lies Joseph, who failed in everything he undertook”. --Franz Joseph II

Blasphemy of the Week: I don't know how posting the 10 Commandments in schools is supposed to help students when posting them in churches doesn't seem to help Evangelicals. --Submitted by SDS

Retro Puzzle of the Week: Rearrange the letters of NITROGEN to get a familiar word everyone knows, that didn't exist 10 years ago. What is it? NPR Sunday Puzzle 8/26/07

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Sometimes God will put a Goliath in your life, for you to find the David within you...And then you find that the David inside you is spying on women taking baths and plotting to kill their husbands. --Submitted by sb of ar

Second Cousin Once Removed of Next-Funniest-Thing-I-Read-of-the-Week: 99 little bugs in the code, 99 little bugs, take one down, patch it around, 117 little bugs in the code--Submitted by Laughing Librarian

It is rumored that Chuck Norris was abducted by aliens and they were never seen again. / Arnie Astronaut gave fantastic parties. Well, he had quite a launch pad.

..........I still dream of you...........Ash …..Girl From Mars

^ In 1884 Marcus Thompson developed and designed the roller coaster based on the Mauch Chunk Switchback Railway – a coal mine line in Pennsylvania.

Almanac: It is Friday, August 16, 2024. The moon will be full (Sturgeon) on Monday (8/19) and is in Capricorn. It is Men's Grooming Day, National Day of Action Against Bullying and Violence, National Energy Multiplier Day, National Rollercoaster Day, and Surveillance Day. Hawaii celebrates Admission Day (1959) today and the Yukon celebrates Klondike Gold Day (1896). This weekend is the Blueberry Festival in Montrose, MI.

Among those born on this day were Amos Alonzo Stagg (1862), Hugo Gernsback (1884), George Meany (1894), Georgette Heyer (1902), Franz Josef II (1906), Menachem Begin (1913), Fess Parker (1925), Robert Culp (1930), Eydie Gorme (1932), Julie Newmar (1935), Lesley Ann Warren (1946), Kathie Lee Gifford (1953), Madonna (1958), and Timothy Hutton (1960).

On August eighteenth gold was discovered in the Klondike (1896), the roller coaster was patented (1898), Adlai Stevenson was nominated for the Democratic presidential candidate (1956), Elvis was found dead at Graceland (1977), Madonna wed Sean Penn (1985), and the Great Astrological Harmonic Convergence signaled the dawn of a new age (1987).

Night Sky, 8/16: Kappa Cygnids Meteor Shower. Tonight and tomorrow night. Best visibility 1-3 am Kappa Cygnids - Meteor Section (popastro.com)

Fraternal Picture of the Week: The young Robin Hood and even younger Legolas

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My flabbers be gasted daily. Submitted by INRITH

This Week: Saturday, August 17 – Black Cat Appreciation Day & National Honey Bee Day & National Nonprofit Day

Sunday, August 18 – Bad Poetry Day & Birth Control Pills Day & National Fajita Day

Night Sky, 8/18: Whenever bright Vega shines nearest your zenith, as it does right after dark now, you know that the Sagittarius Teapot is at its highest down in the south. Two hours later when Deneb passes the zenith, it's the turn of little Delphinus and boat-shaped Capricornus down below it to stand at their highest due south. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Monday, August 19 – Aviation Day & International Orangutan Day & World Humanitarian Day

Tuesday, August 20 – National Radio Day & World Mosquito Day

Wednesday, August 21 – National Spumoni Day & Senior Citizens Day

Night Sky, 8/21: Mars and Jupiter (magnitudes +0.8 and –2.2, respectively, in Taurus) pair up closely this week. Watch for them to rise in the east-northeast around 1 am daylight-saving time. Mars-like Aldebaran watches on from less than a fist at arm's length to their right. Above Aldebaran glitter the delicate Pleiades. By the first sign of dawn they're all high in the east, with Orion below them.

Thursday, August 22 – Be An Angel Day & National Tooth Fairy Day

Scientists are unsure whether only white people are abducted by aliens. It's assumed they are easier to see in the dark. Or whether black and brown people are abducted and we simply never listen to them. / Astronauts have an entirely different meaning for the phrase “space bar”.

..........Gonna shine like a sunbeam..........Beastie Boys …..Intergalactic

^^ Thompson built a gravity Switchback Railway that opened at Coney Island in 1884. Passengers climbed to the top of a platform and rode a bench-like car down the 600 ft track and up to the top of another tower where the vehicle was switched to a return track and the passengers took the return trip.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you get cremated after you die you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights. --Submitted by mk of pa

Moonbeam: I think to myself I ought to be shot for writing such nonsense...But it's unquestionably good escapist literature, and I think I should rather like it if I were sitting in an air-raid shelter or recovering from flu. --Georgette Heyer

Tangled Web of the Week: In For A Better Tomorrow, Kurt Vonnegut wrote of a starship named the Hugo Gernsback. Kilgore Trout is a fictional science fiction writer created by Kurt Vonnegut. He appears in Breakfast of Champions, God Bless You, Mr. Rosenberg, & Slaughterhouse 5. Philip Jose Farmer wrote Kilgore Trout's novel Venus on the Halfshell.** However, Farmer did not admit this to the public until years after publication so people accused Vonnegut of writing it. Vonnegut was a major editor for Gernsback's short story anthologies. **One of my top 10 favorite science fiction novels

Uuuhhhhhh...hhhhhh of the Week: Mark Hamill teaches Rocky and Bullwinkle his secrets to being the best superhero so they can save the city from evil stress balls. ...Concerning the Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle, Season 2. streaming on Amazon

Video of the Week: Steampunk Parade – strange vehicles Bing Videos (2:00)

Every piece of progressive social legislation passed by Congress in the 20^th century bears a union label. --George Meany

Trump's solution for space alien invasions is a roof over Earth. / I saw this rocket ship with a green coating over all the windows. It looked like it was wearing sunglasses. It claimed its mission was to find “dark matter”.

..........Bound for a star with fiery oceans..........Rolling Stones …...2000 Light Year From Home

^^^ In 1885, Phillip Hinkle introduced the first complete-circuit coaster with a lift hill, the Gravity Pleasure Road, which became the most popular attraction at Coney Island. Not to be outdone, in 1886 Thompson patented his design for a roller coaster that included dark tunnels with painted scenery.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If he writes her a few sonnets, he loves her. If he writes her 300 sonnets, he loves sonnets. --An English Professor

Weird Word of the Week: Shemozzle: a state of confusion and chaos. It might simply be a muddle, or it could be a ruckus, row, quarrel or loud commotion. Shemozzle (worldwidewords.org)

Dragon of the Week: Gargoyle in Turin, Italy

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean bathtub rings. Sprinkle Cascade on a wet sponge and scrub. Cascade®: Wacky Uses

The alien leader told the interviewer they had come to destroy the Earth. Hannity told him they were too late / Astronaut Alice was so fat she wore an asteroid belt.

...........We've rocked the Milky Way so far...........Deep Purple …..Space Truckin'

^^^^ In the early 1900s, there were as many as 2000 roller coasters.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When a light bulb has an idea, does a little human brain appear above it?

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Fan Expo Chicago (16-18, Rosemont, IL) MARK HAMILL LIVE ~~This is, in fact, the gotcha tag line; but now that I've seen their site tag I think it's the only thing that wouldn't fit. FAN EXPO Chicago I A three day weekend offering big family-friendly events, bigger workshops, and huge world-renowned celebrities. (fanexpohq.com)

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Southwest Dental Conference (16-17, Dallas, TX) ...empowering innovation and productivity... Home - Southwest Dental Conference (swdentalconf.org)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Nitrogen → Ringtone

Those aliens that you can't get rid, they're Klingons. / I've dated a couple of rocket scientists. They were all a bit spacey.

..........Everything you think, do, and say is in the pill you took today..........Zager and Evans …..In The Year 2525

^^^^^ According to the Roller Coaster Census Report there are 5,376 coasters in operation worldwide.

Conspiracy Theory of the Week: Global warming is caused by alien visitors who are just trying to break the ice.

Fun Fact of the Week: Inspired by an answer on Jeopardy, I looked up the speed of a lamb's tail shake. I discovered that some science nerds or techs needed to describe something that happens really, really fast. So they named 10 nanoseconds a Shake. A nanosecond is one billionth of a second.

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: School Resumes August 12. Resistance is Futile. You Will Be Educated.

Today's Peace of History, August 16, 1953: Mohammad Reza Pahlavi, the constitutional monarch of Iran, dismissed the elected prime minister, Dr. Mohammad Mosaddeq, without the approval of the parliament. In appointing Gen. Fazlollah Zahedi in his place, the Shah was following the coup plan, code-named TPAJAX, developed by the CIA under the direction of Kermit Roosevelt (grandson of President Theodore), and Great Britain’s intelligence service, MI6.

Funniest Thing belying final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Pick your battles. Nope. That's too many battles. Put some battles back. --Submitted by sb of ar

The Mars rover sent back pictures of a bird that was obviously unwell. It was, in fact, an ill eagle alien. / Rockets make excellent comedians. They have great delivery systems.

..........And Flash Gordon was there in silver underwear.........Richard O'Brien …..Science Fiction – Double Feature

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, August 16, 2024, hUgo's ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Winning isn't worthwhile unless one has something finer and nobler behind it. --Amos Alonzo Stagg

Cost of War:

• As of 08/15/24 State Department Costs: $243,395,277,997.
• As of 08/08/24 State Department Costs: $242,838,690,675.
• As of 08/15/24 Homeland Security: $1,176,084,550,462.
• As of 08/08/24 Homeland Security: $1,175,479,986,906.
• As of 08/15/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,238,931,816,735.
• As of 08/08/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,237,377,198,440.
• As of 08/15/24 Military Costs: $3,100,355,707,836.
• As of 08/08/24 Military Costs: $3,099,175,336,321.
• As of 08/15/24 Veterans Care: $3,816,682,203,314.
• As of 08/08/24 Veterans Care: $3,804,897,367,206.
• As of 08/15/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,575,450,979,631.
• As of 08/08/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,528,309.356.738.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Labor never quits. We never give up the fight – no matter how tough the odds, no matter how long it takes. --George Meany

Famous Last Words: It's the devil's instrument. --Robert Johnson, Bluser, who died August 16 1938. It said it about his guitare

..........It's lonely out in space on such a timeless flight.........Elton John …..Rocket Man

Too many aliens are called extraterrestrials. / The rocket had to go to a therapist. It had too many issues to work through.

May Peace expand your space
And Joy fill it all up
prairie mama
christine

Last Laugh: