wAtery ePistle

 Famous First Words: Thank you very much... Fannie Lou Hamer: an interview from 1964

Today is National Beach Day. Seas the day, ePistliers, we can celebrate even in Kansas (about as far from a beach as you can get in the continental US). It's shore to be a funny ePistle. Example: Mermaids use shell phones to take shelfies.

..........From the park you hear the happy sound of the carousel.........The Drifters …..Under The Boardwalk

Peace is showing love to one another. Peace is having gratitude. Peace is love and gentleness. --Zaiah age 10

It is a cool (71°F) Friday morning. A light rain is falling from thin gray clouds with ragged edges that reveal a layer of white clouds above them. A light breeze accompanies the light rain. It moves leaves and willow branches around but not much more. Relief from the August heat makes people and birds and probably small wild life very happy. We smile at each other and enjoy the moment. I have just returned from taking Jeff on his errands and dropping him off to shop for Halloween shirts at Walmart. I am munching an egg and sausage sandwich washed down with decaf. But the neighborhood birds seem to be home out of the rain. There is no flitting through trees or singing to the sun. Puck is coughing in protest because he refuses to go out into the rain – sparse as it is – and settles for a turn in the recliner as compensation. The mulberry has begun to turn yellow here and there but the willow is still a deep green. A patch of blue sky has appeared above the willow, morning is moving along. I fire up a cone of pine incense to mask the night smells of the room, the dog smells, our life smells. Now I can get down to the business of writing to you.

Hope your weekend is a beach, ePistlers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I had a wildly stodgy Latin professor at Dartmouth who'd wave away grammar stuff like this, “Pedantry. Bullsh t. This is English, the shower drain of languages. Entrepreneur and schadenfreude are words. 'Set' has 35 definitions. Intelligibility is the only rule. Do as you please.”

Sand-tastic adventures await. / Summer Beach Reading: Minnow for Minnow by Willaim Sharkspeare / Don't worry, beach happy. / I understand the beaches of Lake Erie are a favorite swimming hole for ghosts.

..........She was afraid that somebody would see.........Brian Hyland …..Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini

Big Apology of the Week: Last Week (wAxy ePistle) I attributed 3 peace quotes to Stephen Douglas. All of these quotes were actually by Frederick Douglass. I have no excuse. (To be clear: I couldn't remember the 3^rd word in my acuity test until much later in the session.) I am sorry. Thank you. lh of ks, for pointing it out to me.

Trivia Questions: Happy 81^st Birthday to Robert (R.) Crumb!

• ^ Do you know where he was born?
• ^^ For what technique is he best known?
• ^^^ Who is his most famous character?
• ^^^^ Did he really trade some sketchbooks for a house?
• ^^^^^ We all remember the album cover for Cheap Thrills. How many album covers did he design altogether?

Big Hello: Hat^yu – Obispeño (California) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Mercury is finally out of retrograde!!! So now everything is your fault again.

Image of the Week: This is my brother, Fletch, who passed away Tuesday morning.

This is my brother, Fletcher Bray, whom I will always call FH. He died last night in his sleep. My big brother taught me to appreciate folk music, beat poetry, and life in general. I can remember loving him from before I knew what love was. He also turned me on to Henry Gregor Felsen and early science fiction writers. And he grew up to be a literal rocket scientist, how cool is that. Good-bye, my wonderful lifetime friend.

Library Joke of the Week: Unfortunately it is not possible to leave your body to library science.

Try the beach: you can pier into the deep mysteries. / I want to say that sandals are my favorite footwear. But I often flip-flop on the issue.

..........Watching the tide roll away.........Otis Redding …..Dock Of The Bay

Moonbeam: Invention, it must be humbly admitted, does not consist in creating out of void, but out of chaos. --Mary Shelley

Blasphemy of the Week: It's possible to get an A in Bible and still flunk Christianity. --Rev Fred Craddock

Blasphemous Joke of the Week: The Bible and the Quran both tell us to love one another...The Kama Sutra is a little more specific. --Submitted by Laughing Librarian

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Peter Collins, of Ann Arbor, MI. Think of a famous movie star -- first and last names, nine letters in all. The third, fourth, fifth, seventh, and eighth letters, in order, name a profession. The star's last name is something that this profession uses. Who is the movie star and what is the profession?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I saw a snake in the garden that was 3.14 meters long. I think it was a πthon. --Submitted by Laughing Librarian

She had sandy toes and a sole full of soul. / How is surfing like sex? When it's good, it's really, really good. And when it's bad...it's still pretty good.

..........They are either out surfin' or they got a party growin'.........Jan & Dean …..Surf City

^ Robert was born on August 30, 1943 in Philadelphia, PA, to Charles Crumb and Beatrice Hall Crumb.

Almanac: It is Friday, August 30, 2024. The moon will be new on Tuesday (9/3) and is in Cancer. The United Nations has declared this International Day of The Victims of Enforced Disappearances. It is Whale Shark Day, National Beach Day, National Grief Awareness Day, National Holistic Pet Day, and National Toasted Marshmallow Day. Because it is the Friday before Labor Day it is also National College Colors Day.

Among those born on this day were Jacques-Louis David (1748), Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley (1797), Ellen Arthur (1837), Ernest Rutherford (1871), Huey P. Long (1893), Raymond Massey (1896), Roy Wilkins (1901), Joan Blondell (1909), Ted Williams (1918), Kitty Wells (1919), Johnny Mann (1928), John Swigert (1931) and R. Crumb (1943).

On August thirtieth the Liberty Party convention became the first to have black participation (1843), Honolulu was incorporated (1850), 13,000 meteors were seen during one hour (1885), Ty Cobb had his first major league at bat (1905), the first negro judge was confirmed for the US District Court (1961), The Democratic National Convention refused to seat any delegates from the Mississippi Freedom Democratic Party (MFDP). Fannie Lou Hamer led that delegation which was eventually seated but given no vote. (1964), Tom Brokaw became the anchor of the Today Show (1976), and President Carter was attacked by a rabbit (1979).

Night Sky, 8/30: The Aurigid Meteor Shower peaks tonight and tomorrow. It sports around 6 meteors per hour. https://in-the-sky.org/news.php?id=20240831_10_100#google_vignette

Fraternal Picture of the Week: The boys on the bus ~~I don't know where this bus is going...

Kid Quote of the Week: You know it was a good day if you didn't hit or bite anyone. --Nathanial Parizek, age 4 --Submitted by dr of oh

This Week: Saturday, August 31 – Burnt Ends Day & Trail Mix Day & International Bat Night

Sunday, September 1 – Bowling League Day & Meteorological Autumn & World Letter Writing Day

Night Sky, 9/1: A sign of the advancing season: Cassiopeia is now high in the northeast after dark, its W pattern tilting up. And below it, starry Perseus is reaching up. The highest part of Perseus includes the wintry Double Cluster. To find it, look back to Cassiopeia. Counting down from the top, note the third segment of the W. Continue that segment downward by twice its length, and there you are. You're looking for what seems like a small spot of enhanced Milky Way glow. Binoculars or a finderscope will help you detect the Double Cluster even through a fair amount of light pollution. The pair are a glory in a telescope. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Monday, September 2 – Labor Day ---Here's Utah Phillips singing Dump The Bosses

Tuesday, September 3 – National Cinema Day & Pressed Pennies Day & Skyscraper Day

Wednesday, September 4 – National Wildlife Day & Newspaper Carrier Day

Night Sky, 9/4: Saturn: (magnitude +0.6, south of the Circlet of Pisces) glows low in the east as the stars come out. It's on the lower right of the Great Square of Pegasus, which is balancing on one corner. The Square's upper-right edge points diagonally down toward Saturn, two fists at arm's length away. Saturn shines high toward the south by midnight, through less of our blurry atmosphere then for better telescopic resolution. Saturn is nearing its opposition on the night of September 7th.

Thursday, September 5 – Be Late For Something Day & Jury Rights Day & International Day of Charity

Tides, time, and ice cream trucks wait for no one. / What do you call a professional beach volleyballer without a main squeeze? Homeless

..........Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama.........The Beach Boys …..Kokomo

^^ One of the distinctive features of Robert Crumb’s artwork is his remarkable crosshatching technique, which adds depth and texture to his drawings. Examples

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Be the FUN in DYSFUNCTIONAL!

Moonbeam: It is hardly surprising that women concentrate on the way they look instead of what is in their minds since not much has been put in their minds to begin with. --Mary Shelley

My Brother's Story of the Week: During the flood of '51, my mother wanted us kids (I was 7, my brother was 10) to remember it. So she allowed FH and his friend Freddy to go to the bottom of the driveway and wade around in the water. During this memorable event he got bitten by a rat (there were many, many that had preceded the flood waters). ~~Meanwhile, my mother and I sat on our roof eating popcorn and watching the water rise.~~ Because of the bite our grandparents came and took us to their house so we could get shots. We lived in a rural area, on a hill, and we had to walk around through yards and fields to get to where they had to park the car to avoid driving in water. They lived on Cambridge, a hill overlooking Southwest Blvd at State Line. The boulevard was also under water and the water managed to overturn a huge Battenfeld oil tank. Then the water was covered with oil and caught fire, of course. The city was afraid the fire would reach the Thompson Chemical plant and cause an explosion. In the middle of the night the police came and told us to get out and we went to my cousin's house (neighborhood of 31^st and Broadway). We both remembered lots of this activity. So, it worked; mostly due to my brother's rat bite.

Fun Fact of the Week: The Beatles used the word LOVE 613 times in their songs. https://www.facebook.com/embodypeaceandlove

Video of the Week: How to roast the ultimate marshmallow (1:28) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5QvvnETZ7c Happy National Toasted Marshmallow Day!

Peace to me means no child anywhere would know violence. --Remy age 14

Sand castles require a grainy perspective on architecture. / Metal detecting at the beach? $1,000 worth of equipment. $1.66 return per day.

..........Laid back in a thrift store beach chair.........Jake Owen …..Beachin'

^^^ Fritz the Cat, created by Robert Crumb, became an iconic character in underground comics and was featured in a popular animated film in 1972.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I can do paper or plastic because I'm bisackual. --Submitted by Laughing Librarian

Weird Word of the Week: Ullage – the unfilled space in a barrel or wine bottle. https://www.worldwidewords.org/ww-ull1.html

Dragon of the Week: Sand Dragon from Helium-Sedai

Old Indian Wisdom of the Week: Silence is always better than bullshit. Choctaw Nation

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Shine shoes. To shine shoes in a pinch, rub ChapStick over the leather and buff with a dry, clean cloth. The wax gives the shoes a lustrous shine. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/chapstick.html

Palm reading takes on a new meaning with sandy hands. / Aren't mermaids supposed to keep the oceans clean? How come we have all this plastic floating around?

...........From the land where the palm trees sway.........The Andrew Sisters …..Mele Kalikimaka

^^^^ His status as the bull-goose legend of underground cartooning meant that in the early '90s he was able to trade six of his sketchbooks for a house in the South of France.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early if you ask me. --Submitted by INRITH

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Dragon Con 2024 (8/29-9/2, Atlanta, GA) Dragon Con is where you want to be for Labor Day Weekend. ~~Perhaps it's hosted by the IWW (Intergalactic Workers of the Whole). https://www.dragoncon.org/

Lost Count Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Humanity's lucky that we invented public sewer systems before we invented “free market” think tanks. --Jon Schwarz

Actual Science Conference of the Week: 15^th Annual Billington Cybersecurity Summit (9/3-6, Washington, DC) 200+ top speakers in government cybersecurity https://billingtoncybersecurity.com/15th-annual-billington-cybersecurity-summit/

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Emma Stone – mason

Don't get tide down by waves of emotion. / I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world...perhaps you've seen it. --Steven Wright.

..........While it's still free.........Sheryl Crow …..Soak Up The Sun

^^^^^ R Crumb has designed 88 album covers so far. Here's a list

Conspiracy Theory of the Week: Fresh off of completing his failed impeachment investigation, Rep. James Comer (R-Ky.) appeared on Fox News to wonder if Tim Walz was maybe a Chinese agent. https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2024/08/20/rights-serious-minds-have-tim-walz-chinese-sleeper-agent-theory/

Quote of the Week: The mark of immature people is that they want to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of mature people is that they want to live humbly for one. --based on a statement by J. D Salinger

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Fishing is the most relaxing way to get frustrated. --Submitted by INRITH

Today's Peace of History: August 30, 1980: Striking Polish workers, their numbers approaching 150,000, won a sweeping victory in a battle with the Polish Communist government for the right to independent trade unions and the right to strike. Their lead negotiator was Lech Walesa, head of the union, Solidarnosc´ (Solidarity).

Great Aunt of Today's Peace of History: August 30, 1967: The Senate confirmed the appointment of Thurgood Marshall as the first Supreme Court Justice of African-American descent. Marshall had been counsel to the NAACP Legal Defense Fund, and had been the lead attorney in the Brown v. Board of Education case. He was appointed to the Court by President Lyndon Johnson after having served as Solicitor General of the U.S. for two years, and on the U.S. Court of Appeals for four.

Sorry, I can't kelp how corny these jokes are. / The park warden accused me of fishing off the pier. I had to explain that I was teaching the worms to swim.

..........And the feel of the ocean and the taste of champagne.........Rupert Holmes …..Escape

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, August 30, 2024, wAtery ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: I do not wish women to have power over men; but over themselves. --Mary Shelley

Cost of War:

• As of 08/29/24 State Department Costs: $244,502,021,362
• As of 08/22/24 State Department Costs: $243,950,177,310
• As of 08/29/24 Homeland Security: $1,177,286,712,137
• As of 08/22/24 Homeland Security: $1,176,687,331,928
• As of 08/29/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,242,023,066,924
• As of 08/22/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,240,481,821,085
• As of 08/29/24 Military Costs: $3,102,702,747,197.
• As of 08/22/24 Military Costs: $3,101,532,553,820
• As of 08/29/24 Veterans Care: $3,840,114,109,286
• As of 08/22/24 Veterans Care: $3,828,431,521,917
• As of 08/29/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,606,629,826,783
• As of 08/22/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,591,084,960,248

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

People getting along and the world being a happy place for everyone. --Miranda, age 9

Famous Last Words: Good night and good news. --Ted Baxter Mary Tyler Moore Show

..........Sunset at the shoreline, we are laughing.........Avett Brothers …..At The Beach

Hey, water you doing later? Admit it, you've had a whale of a time. / Do sharks think of water skiers as fast food?

May Peace cap your waves
And Joy smooth your sands
prairie mama
christine

Last Laugh:

wAxy ePistle

 Famous First Words: In the future, an everlasting peace and friendship shall reign... Treaty of Prague 1866

August is National Crayon Collection Month! It's about making sure every child has crayons to begin the new school year. I don't have the time or the crayons to explain this to you here. / Nurses always carry a red crayon in case they have to draw blood.

..........His face so soft and wondrous fair.........Nina Simone …..Black Is the Color of My True Love's Hair

Where justice is denied, where poverty is enforced, ignorance prevails, and where any one class is made to feel that society is an organized conspiracy to oppress, rob and degrade them, neither persons nor property will be safe.” --Stephen Douglass

It is a cool (66°F) Friday morning. The sky is cloudy and textured with stripes of white and gray. There is no wind to stir the willow or move the mulberry. The stillness extends to birds – no movement, no song - and to humans – no motors revving or doors banging. A quiet, cool morning to cheer the heart and set the stage for a great weekend. The sun is finding small slots and holes to shine its way onto the storage shed and the tall, tall sunflower plant that no longer has any blossoms. Puck is taking his morning nap, with a snore that sounds a lot like purring – only louder. The household too is quiet as if everyone else is still asleep. Veronica the Cat has not even been here to check out the window to the backyard or to request a pinch of catnip to start the day. So, I take a long slow sip of sweet, creamy decaf, put on my earphones so my music doesn't wake anyone and I write to you. What a great morning.

Hope the weekend shows you all the color of your life, ePistlers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If thieves wear sneakers and artists wear sketchers, then linguists must wear converse. --Submitted by INRITH

When my partner or I are feeling down, we color tattoos on each other...a shoulder to crayon. / The white crayon is seeing a therapist. He says he feels useless.

..........Softer than satin was the light.........Bobby Vinton …..Blue Velvet

Trivia Questions: Happy 270^th Birthday to Louis XVI

• ^ Do we know what XVI's given name was?
• ^^ Do you know who Mrs XVI was?
• ^^^ With what “woke” reforms did XVI try to update France?
• ^^^^ Which of these reforms led to the bread riots of 1776?
• ^^^^^ What tactic, also used by Judge Alito, did XVI use to excuse himself from responsibility?

Big Hello: Goddag – Norwegian https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Imagine that you are out on the ocean having a nice cruise but your ship starts to sink and you are surrounded by sharks. What would you do? STOP IMAGINING

Image of the Week:

Library Joke of the Week: Cardigans are the lab coats of library science. Laughing Librarian

It's tricky becoming friends with other parents. Your kids will be besties for a while, then, out of nowhere, someone uses the wrong color crayon and I can't speak to their parents ever again. We are sworn enemies now. / Crayons are like m&ms, no matter what the color, they all taste the same.

..........Hair of gold and lips like cherries..........Tom Jones …..Green Green Grass of Home

Moonbeam: The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. --Mark Russell

Blasphemy of the Week: The sacred exists only at the expense of the truth. --Mark Russell

Retro Puzzle of the Week: This challenge came from listener Sandy Weisz, of Chicago. Think of a place on earth with a four-word name. Take the third word. Advance three of its letters to the next letter of the alphabet (so A would become B, B would become C, etc.). You'll get the fourth word in the name. What place is this? NPR Sunday Puzzle August 30,2020

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: An opinion without 3.14 is an onion. --Submitted by sb of ar

So many crayons, so little time. / Crayons often vacation in Color-ado.

..........Letters I've written never meaning to send.........Moody Blues …..Nights in White Satin

^ Louis XVI was born Louis Auguste Bourbon, second son of Louis, Dauphin of France (1729-1765) and Maria Josepha of Saxony.

Almanac: It is Friday, August 23, 2024. The moon was full (Sturgeon) last Sunday (8/19) and is in Aries. The United Nations has declared this International Day for the Rembrance of the Slave Trade and its Abolition (UNESCO). It is Rudolph Valentino Day, Black Ribbon Day, Cuban Sandwich Day, Find Your Inner Nerd Day, and Ride The Wind Day.

Among those born on this day were Louis XVI (1754), John Sherman Cooper (1901), Gene Kelly (1912), Bob Crosby (1913), Mark Russell (1932), Barbara Eden (1934), Sonny Jurgensen (1934), Keith Moon (1947), Shelley Long (1949), Queen Noor of Jordan (1951), and River Phoenix (1970).

On August twenty-third the Treaty of Prague ended the Austro-Prussian war (1866), the National Negro Business League was organized (1900), and Intelsat was launched (1973).

Night Sky, 8/23: The brightest star high in the southeast these evenings is Altair, with little orange Tarazed above it by a finger-width at arm's length. A little more than a fist-width to Altair's left is delicate Delphinus, the Dolphin, leaping left. Above Altair, slightly less far, is smaller, fainter Sagitta, the Arrow. It too is pointing leftward. You'll need a nice dark sky. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Max and Ollie learning the ropes

This Week: Saturday, August 24 – Knife Day & Pluto Demotion Day & Vesuvius Day

Sunday, August 25 – Go Topless Day & Kiss and Make Up Day & National Park Service Day

Night Sky, 8/25: Last-quarter Moon tonight; exactly so at 5:26 am, Monday morning. The Moon is now a few degrees lower left of the Pleiades. And, Algol in Perseus shines two fists upper left of the Moon.

Monday, August 26 – National Dog Day & National Toilet Paper Day & Women's Equality Day

Tuesday, August 27 – Just Because Day & National Cinema Day & World Rock Scissors Paper Day

Wednesday, August 28 – National Week Out Hate Day & National Bow Tie Day & Read Comics in Public Day

Night Sky, 8/28: Uranus (magnitude 5.7, in western Taurus) is some 20° west of Jupiter in the early morning hours. You'll need a good finder chart to identify it among surrounding faint stars.

Thursday, August 29 – According to Hoyle Day & More Herbs, Less Salt Day & International Day Against Nuclear Tests

I heard that the reason Julius Caesar brought crayons was to mark Anthony. / I bought a smart pencil sharpener. When it hones a crayon it always says it “looks sharp today”. / I left my crayon box on the table where the sun streamed in and melted several. Now the strawberry is blueberry.

..........If you could see 'em now, you'd be proud.........Zach Bryan …..Pink Skies

^^ XVI married Austrian archduchess Marie-Antoinette, daughter of Maria Theresa and Francis I, the Holy Roman Emperor.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I am so jealous of people who know how to just shut up. I shut up and subtitles come out of my face. --Submitted by INRITH

Moonbeam: Young people, take heart: the older you get, the fewer commandments you will have the strength to break. --Mark Russell

Conspiracy Theory of the Week: A conservative think tank that is planning for a complete overhaul of the federal government in the event of a Republican presidential win is suggesting that President Joe Biden might try to hold the White House “by force” if he loses the November election. https://apnews.com/article/heritage-foundation-biden-trump-election-2024-3056df8a1ea882e23f8e2faf2eff7a3b

Video of the Week: Mark Russell singing “I am the very model of a candidate political...” and some other satire. (5:39) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSQ93y6kVxQ ~~Some where in the middle of this Russell looks very like Stephen Cobert.

I prayed for freedom for twenty years, but received no answer until I prayed with my legs. --Stephen Douglass

In my crayon box, the yellow color is the highlight. / Do you ever just listen to someone and think, they have the IQ of a crayon? / Mom says the only berry with a coloring book is a crayon-berry.

..........'Scuse me while I kiss the sky.........Jimi Hendrix …..Purple Haze

^^^ Applying Enlightenment ideas, XVI attempted to increase tolerance toward non-Catholics. He also tried to abolish the death penalty for deserters. His chief opposition was the French nobility.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Study finds 100% of men would eat any fruit offered to them by a naked woman. --Submitted by SH

Weird Word of the Week: Tergiversate – If you've ever spotted somebody wriggling and being evasive, trying to avoid giving a straight answer to a straight question, then you have observed tergiversate. https://www.worldwidewords.org/ww-ter1.html

Dragon of the Week: I do not know what city has this or what sort of sign it is; but it is lovely.

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean cooked-on oil from a popcorn popper or baked-on food from a pot or pan. Mix a heaping tablespoon of Cascade with hot water, put it in the popper (pot or pan), and let soak overnight. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cascade.html

Veronica the Cat's favorite crayon is purrrrrple. / Why can't you draw blood with an orange crayon because it isn't sharp enough.

...........On a dilly dilly day..........Burl Ives ….Lavender's Blue

^^^^ XVI deregulated the grain market. But a couple of years of bad harvests and bread prices rose and scarcity followed.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The pros and cons of having me as a friend...Pro: You have a friend Con: It's me.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Bubonicon 55 (Albuquerque, 23-25) ...Green Slime Awards... https://www.bubonicon.com/

bware! Review of the Week: JD Vance is just creepy. Every time I see him I think his breath must reek of cheap spirits. Tim Walz is delightful. He's funny, he's smart – book and street, friendly and down to earth. Everything you could want in a person whose job it is to do nothing. BUT the Green Party has chosen Butch Ware. The youngest, hippest VP candidate. The most attractive of the lot by a couple of miles. He has books smarts as professor of West African History at UC, Santa Barbara. https://www.history.ucsb.edu/faculty/bware/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Society of Petroleum Engineers Artificial Lift Conference and Exhibition (Woodlands, TX : 20-24) ...to unite pioneering minds... https://www.spe-events.org/artificiallift/#:~:text=SPE%20Artificial%20Lift%20Conference%20and%20Exhibition%20%7C%2020%2D24%20August%202024

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Cape of Good Hope G = H / o stays the same / O = P / E = D

The Peanuts Crayon Box includes Great Pumpkin Orange and Charlie Brown. / My teeth are so yellow, I've never needed crayons to color my sun.

..........Make straight for the shore.........The Platters …..Red Sails in the Sunset

^^^^^ “seems to have been completely dominated by the queen, who must bear the chief blame for the court's subsequent political duplicity.” ...

Fun Fact of the Week: National Ride The Wind Day celebrates the first human-powered flight - On August 23, 1977, the Gossamer Condor, piloted by Bryan Allen, flew a figure-eight course at Minter Field in Shafter, California, at a speed of 11 miles per hour for a distance of 2,172 meters. The Gossamer Condor was designed by Dr. Paul B MacCready and is now on display at the Smithsonian alongside the Wright Brothers Plane and the Apollo 11 moon capsule.

Quote of the Week: Bill Clinton, bless his heart, still doesn't know when to shut up. --Steve Butcher

My Brother Stories: My niece, Deirdre, wrote: My dad: “Biden came to our house when we lived in Delaware, 50 years ago.” ...most likely campaigning. He was a champion retail campaigner. I now remember my parents talking about this when Obama picked him as VP. ~~Even my brother's mundane, everyday stories turn interesting in the end.

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Missouri has 2 major cities. Both of them look like they are desperately trying to get out of the state. --Submitted by sb of ar

Today's Peace of History, August 23, 1838: Mt. Holyoke Female Seminary in South Hadley, MA, graduated its first class.

At the crayon prom, the host was Yellow. She was from Spain and shouted Crayhola to everyone as they entered. / My black crayon and my white crayon used themselves up trying to create 50 shades of gray.

..........Always young and fair to me.........Daniel O'Donnell …..Silver Threads Among the Gold

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, August 23, 2024, wAxy ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: The Republicans have a new healthcare proposal: Just say NO to illness. --Mark Russell

Cost of War:

• As of 08/22/24 State Department Costs: $243,950,177,310
• As of 08/15/24 State Department Costs: $243,395,277,997
• As of 08/22/24 Homeland Security: $1,176,687,331,928
• As of 08/15/24 Homeland Security: $1,176,084,550,462
• As of 08/22/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,240,481,821,085
• As of 08/15/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,238,931,816,735
• As of 08/22/24 Military Costs: $3,101,532,553,820
• As of 08/15/24 Military Costs: $3,100,355,707,836
• As of 08/22/24 Veterans Care: $3,828,431,521,917
• As of 08/15/24 Veterans Care: $3,816,682,203,314
• As of 08/22/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,591,084,960,248
• As of 08/15/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,575,450,979,631

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. --Stephen Douglass

Famous Last Words: If you don't like it, then you can f**k off. --Keith Moon Who died 9/7/78

..........Days when the rains came..........Van Morrison …..Brown Eyed Girl

Rejected crayon names: Presidential Orange, Privileged White, and Travel Ban Brown. / After Trump changed the course of that hurricane with a magic marker, the House approved a budget of 12 crayons for the border wall.

May Peace paint your days
And Joy color your nights
prairie mama
christine

Last Laugh:

hUgo's ePistle

Famous First Words: Born on a mountain top in Tennessee... Davy Crocket ...in honor of Fess Parker's birthday

Today is the 140th birthday of Hugo Grensback, founder and editor of Amazing Stories magazine. It was a science fiction literary magazine that was a starting point for many young writers. The primary reason aliens haven't visited our solar system is the reviews. Only one star. / I don't think the stories in Amazing Stories helped. Who'd wanna go there? More about Hugo

..........Leave blue green footprints that glow in the dark.........The Byrds …..Mr Spaceman

The most persistent threat to freedom, to the rights of Americans, is fear. George Meany

It is a fine (77°F) Friday morning. The sun is shining, the sky is cloudless, and a breeze (5 mph) moves the willow in graceful sweeps and the mulberry leaf by leaf. Several birds have come and told their morning story and moved on leaving the quiet white-noise humming of my computer. Puck is munching treats, although he had done little to deserve them, before his morning nap beneath my feet. Veronica has not been to my room since the drain overran the hall floor. It's dry now, but she is very opposed to wet feet. I am drinking my morning decaf and munching a chocolate croissant – the kind from Dillons, not the ones from the actual French bakery. They are delicious nonetheless. Jeff has taken up vaping and so today the house smells of fruit, or maybe, it's a smoky floral. I light a cone of green incense; likely, the scent cannot be erased but perhaps it can be replaced. And with the last bit of chocolate melting in my mouth, I say, welcome to the weekend, enjoy.

Hope your weekend is full of wonder and amazement, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Better to have tampons in the bathroom than classified documents. --Submitted by ff of ks

My neighbor told me she saw an alien on the way to work this morning. I asked how she knew it was on its way to work? / No, our sun, Sol, didn't go to college. He already had 10,000 degrees.

..........Swamp monster with a hard-on for connectivity.........Arctic Monkey …..Science Fiction

Trivia Questions: Happy National Roller Coaster Day!

• ^ Who invented the roller coaster?
• ^^ Where was the first roller coaster installed?
• ^^^ When did the full circuit roller coaster first appear?
• ^^^^ How many roller coasters existed in 1900?
• ^^^^^ How many roller coasters are operating today?

Big Hello: Dumêlang – Northern Sotho (South Africa) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The town of Dull in Scotland has twinned with the town of Boring, Oregon since 2012. In 2013 the town of Bland, Australia joined them in what has become known as the “Trinity of Tedium”.

Image of the Week:

Writer's Joke of the Week: I write because I don't know what I think until I read what I say. --Flannery O'Connor

An alien with three eyes is called an aliiien. / An astrophysicist, a dentist, and an electrician walked into a bar. It was Queen and this was their first gig.

..........Tell me do I look like a desperate man.........Glenn Frey …..Love In the 21^st Century

Moonbeam: Let my epitaph be, “Here lies Joseph, who failed in everything he undertook”. --Franz Joseph II

Blasphemy of the Week: I don't know how posting the 10 Commandments in schools is supposed to help students when posting them in churches doesn't seem to help Evangelicals. --Submitted by SDS

Retro Puzzle of the Week: Rearrange the letters of NITROGEN to get a familiar word everyone knows, that didn't exist 10 years ago. What is it? NPR Sunday Puzzle 8/26/07

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Sometimes God will put a Goliath in your life, for you to find the David within you...And then you find that the David inside you is spying on women taking baths and plotting to kill their husbands. --Submitted by sb of ar

Second Cousin Once Removed of Next-Funniest-Thing-I-Read-of-the-Week: 99 little bugs in the code, 99 little bugs, take one down, patch it around, 117 little bugs in the code--Submitted by Laughing Librarian

It is rumored that Chuck Norris was abducted by aliens and they were never seen again. / Arnie Astronaut gave fantastic parties. Well, he had quite a launch pad.

..........I still dream of you...........Ash …..Girl From Mars

^ In 1884 Marcus Thompson developed and designed the roller coaster based on the Mauch Chunk Switchback Railway – a coal mine line in Pennsylvania.

Almanac: It is Friday, August 16, 2024. The moon will be full (Sturgeon) on Monday (8/19) and is in Capricorn. It is Men's Grooming Day, National Day of Action Against Bullying and Violence, National Energy Multiplier Day, National Rollercoaster Day, and Surveillance Day. Hawaii celebrates Admission Day (1959) today and the Yukon celebrates Klondike Gold Day (1896). This weekend is the Blueberry Festival in Montrose, MI.

Among those born on this day were Amos Alonzo Stagg (1862), Hugo Gernsback (1884), George Meany (1894), Georgette Heyer (1902), Franz Josef II (1906), Menachem Begin (1913), Fess Parker (1925), Robert Culp (1930), Eydie Gorme (1932), Julie Newmar (1935), Lesley Ann Warren (1946), Kathie Lee Gifford (1953), Madonna (1958), and Timothy Hutton (1960).

On August eighteenth gold was discovered in the Klondike (1896), the roller coaster was patented (1898), Adlai Stevenson was nominated for the Democratic presidential candidate (1956), Elvis was found dead at Graceland (1977), Madonna wed Sean Penn (1985), and the Great Astrological Harmonic Convergence signaled the dawn of a new age (1987).

Night Sky, 8/16: Kappa Cygnids Meteor Shower. Tonight and tomorrow night. Best visibility 1-3 am Kappa Cygnids - Meteor Section (popastro.com)

Fraternal Picture of the Week: The young Robin Hood and even younger Legolas

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My flabbers be gasted daily. Submitted by INRITH

This Week: Saturday, August 17 – Black Cat Appreciation Day & National Honey Bee Day & National Nonprofit Day

Sunday, August 18 – Bad Poetry Day & Birth Control Pills Day & National Fajita Day

Night Sky, 8/18: Whenever bright Vega shines nearest your zenith, as it does right after dark now, you know that the Sagittarius Teapot is at its highest down in the south. Two hours later when Deneb passes the zenith, it's the turn of little Delphinus and boat-shaped Capricornus down below it to stand at their highest due south. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Monday, August 19 – Aviation Day & International Orangutan Day & World Humanitarian Day

Tuesday, August 20 – National Radio Day & World Mosquito Day

Wednesday, August 21 – National Spumoni Day & Senior Citizens Day

Night Sky, 8/21: Mars and Jupiter (magnitudes +0.8 and –2.2, respectively, in Taurus) pair up closely this week. Watch for them to rise in the east-northeast around 1 am daylight-saving time. Mars-like Aldebaran watches on from less than a fist at arm's length to their right. Above Aldebaran glitter the delicate Pleiades. By the first sign of dawn they're all high in the east, with Orion below them.

Thursday, August 22 – Be An Angel Day & National Tooth Fairy Day

Scientists are unsure whether only white people are abducted by aliens. It's assumed they are easier to see in the dark. Or whether black and brown people are abducted and we simply never listen to them. / Astronauts have an entirely different meaning for the phrase “space bar”.

..........Gonna shine like a sunbeam..........Beastie Boys …..Intergalactic

^^ Thompson built a gravity Switchback Railway that opened at Coney Island in 1884. Passengers climbed to the top of a platform and rode a bench-like car down the 600 ft track and up to the top of another tower where the vehicle was switched to a return track and the passengers took the return trip.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you get cremated after you die you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights. --Submitted by mk of pa

Moonbeam: I think to myself I ought to be shot for writing such nonsense...But it's unquestionably good escapist literature, and I think I should rather like it if I were sitting in an air-raid shelter or recovering from flu. --Georgette Heyer

Tangled Web of the Week: In For A Better Tomorrow, Kurt Vonnegut wrote of a starship named the Hugo Gernsback. Kilgore Trout is a fictional science fiction writer created by Kurt Vonnegut. He appears in Breakfast of Champions, God Bless You, Mr. Rosenberg, & Slaughterhouse 5. Philip Jose Farmer wrote Kilgore Trout's novel Venus on the Halfshell.** However, Farmer did not admit this to the public until years after publication so people accused Vonnegut of writing it. Vonnegut was a major editor for Gernsback's short story anthologies. **One of my top 10 favorite science fiction novels

Uuuhhhhhh...hhhhhh of the Week: Mark Hamill teaches Rocky and Bullwinkle his secrets to being the best superhero so they can save the city from evil stress balls. ...Concerning the Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle, Season 2. streaming on Amazon

Video of the Week: Steampunk Parade – strange vehicles Bing Videos (2:00)

Every piece of progressive social legislation passed by Congress in the 20^th century bears a union label. --George Meany

Trump's solution for space alien invasions is a roof over Earth. / I saw this rocket ship with a green coating over all the windows. It looked like it was wearing sunglasses. It claimed its mission was to find “dark matter”.

..........Bound for a star with fiery oceans..........Rolling Stones …...2000 Light Year From Home

^^^ In 1885, Phillip Hinkle introduced the first complete-circuit coaster with a lift hill, the Gravity Pleasure Road, which became the most popular attraction at Coney Island. Not to be outdone, in 1886 Thompson patented his design for a roller coaster that included dark tunnels with painted scenery.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If he writes her a few sonnets, he loves her. If he writes her 300 sonnets, he loves sonnets. --An English Professor

Weird Word of the Week: Shemozzle: a state of confusion and chaos. It might simply be a muddle, or it could be a ruckus, row, quarrel or loud commotion. Shemozzle (worldwidewords.org)

Dragon of the Week: Gargoyle in Turin, Italy

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean bathtub rings. Sprinkle Cascade on a wet sponge and scrub. Cascade®: Wacky Uses

The alien leader told the interviewer they had come to destroy the Earth. Hannity told him they were too late / Astronaut Alice was so fat she wore an asteroid belt.

...........We've rocked the Milky Way so far...........Deep Purple …..Space Truckin'

^^^^ In the early 1900s, there were as many as 2000 roller coasters.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When a light bulb has an idea, does a little human brain appear above it?

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Fan Expo Chicago (16-18, Rosemont, IL) MARK HAMILL LIVE ~~This is, in fact, the gotcha tag line; but now that I've seen their site tag I think it's the only thing that wouldn't fit. FAN EXPO Chicago I A three day weekend offering big family-friendly events, bigger workshops, and huge world-renowned celebrities. (fanexpohq.com)

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Southwest Dental Conference (16-17, Dallas, TX) ...empowering innovation and productivity... Home - Southwest Dental Conference (swdentalconf.org)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Nitrogen → Ringtone

Those aliens that you can't get rid, they're Klingons. / I've dated a couple of rocket scientists. They were all a bit spacey.

..........Everything you think, do, and say is in the pill you took today..........Zager and Evans …..In The Year 2525

^^^^^ According to the Roller Coaster Census Report there are 5,376 coasters in operation worldwide.

Conspiracy Theory of the Week: Global warming is caused by alien visitors who are just trying to break the ice.

Fun Fact of the Week: Inspired by an answer on Jeopardy, I looked up the speed of a lamb's tail shake. I discovered that some science nerds or techs needed to describe something that happens really, really fast. So they named 10 nanoseconds a Shake. A nanosecond is one billionth of a second.

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: School Resumes August 12. Resistance is Futile. You Will Be Educated.

Today's Peace of History, August 16, 1953: Mohammad Reza Pahlavi, the constitutional monarch of Iran, dismissed the elected prime minister, Dr. Mohammad Mosaddeq, without the approval of the parliament. In appointing Gen. Fazlollah Zahedi in his place, the Shah was following the coup plan, code-named TPAJAX, developed by the CIA under the direction of Kermit Roosevelt (grandson of President Theodore), and Great Britain’s intelligence service, MI6.

Funniest Thing belying final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Pick your battles. Nope. That's too many battles. Put some battles back. --Submitted by sb of ar

The Mars rover sent back pictures of a bird that was obviously unwell. It was, in fact, an ill eagle alien. / Rockets make excellent comedians. They have great delivery systems.

..........And Flash Gordon was there in silver underwear.........Richard O'Brien …..Science Fiction – Double Feature

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, August 16, 2024, hUgo's ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Winning isn't worthwhile unless one has something finer and nobler behind it. --Amos Alonzo Stagg

Cost of War:

• As of 08/15/24 State Department Costs: $243,395,277,997.
• As of 08/08/24 State Department Costs: $242,838,690,675.
• As of 08/15/24 Homeland Security: $1,176,084,550,462.
• As of 08/08/24 Homeland Security: $1,175,479,986,906.
• As of 08/15/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,238,931,816,735.
• As of 08/08/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,237,377,198,440.
• As of 08/15/24 Military Costs: $3,100,355,707,836.
• As of 08/08/24 Military Costs: $3,099,175,336,321.
• As of 08/15/24 Veterans Care: $3,816,682,203,314.
• As of 08/08/24 Veterans Care: $3,804,897,367,206.
• As of 08/15/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,575,450,979,631.
• As of 08/08/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,528,309.356.738.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Labor never quits. We never give up the fight – no matter how tough the odds, no matter how long it takes. --George Meany

Famous Last Words: It's the devil's instrument. --Robert Johnson, Bluser, who died August 16 1938. It said it about his guitare

..........It's lonely out in space on such a timeless flight.........Elton John …..Rocket Man

Too many aliens are called extraterrestrials. / The rocket had to go to a therapist. It had too many issues to work through.

May Peace expand your space
And Joy fill it all up
prairie mama
christine

Last Laugh: