Famous First Words: Belle, dont le charme est l'empire --quartet Don Quixote the opera by Wilhelm Kienzl
Today is Day for Women's Rights and International Peace AND Girls Write Now Day AND International Women's Day AND International Working Women's Day. So I thought I would quote some funny women. I spent 7 hours in the beauty shop and that was just for the estimate. --Phyllis Diller / I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui, and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best. --Phyllis Diller / Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance. --Phyllis Diller
..........Mama, please don't go.........Randy Meisner and The Poor …..Come Back Baby
The Lyrics to Bread and Roses inspired by Helen Todd and written by James Oppenheimer to honor International Women's Day
As we go marching, marching, in the beauty of the day
A million darkened kitchens, a thousand mill lofts gray
Are touched with all the radiance that a sudden sun discloses
For
the people hear us singing, bread and roses, bread and roses
It is a cloudy, chilly (38°F), windy (16 mph from the northwest) Friday morning. Gray covers the sky without variance in texture or color. Switches of willow are whipping to the south and pulling bigger branches with them. The willow's long chain limbs are just beginning to grow summer leaves. It makes the whole tree look like festive decorations at a tiki bar. I am drinking creamy decaf and listening to Janis sing her greatest hits. In honor of International Women's Day I have vowed to listen to female music all day. Puck is asleep on his pillow looking like a giant wooly worm. A green incense is lit on the waterfall burner to dilute the smell of reality in the room. And now I get to write to you, what a day!
Blessed be, ladies
ePistliers, hope your weekend has roses too.
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I heard the government is putting chips in people. I hope I get doritos. --Submitted by Heinlein Society
Most of us live our lives devoid of cinematic moments. --Nora Ephron / You're born, you die. Everything in between is subject to interpretation. --Nora Ephron / The Wonderbra is not a step forward for women. Nothing that hurts that much is a step forward for women. --Nora Ephron / Never marry a man you wouldn't want to be divorced from. --Nora Ephron
..........Silken-soft, she rises from the dawn, child of spring..........Randy Meisner and Poco …..Calico Lady
Trivia Questions: It's Middle Name Pride Day. (I'm Mary Christine Bray...Leonard...Smith) Do you know the first names of these celebrities
- ^ Neil Simon
- ^^ Bruce Willis
- ^^^ Reese Witherspoon
- ^^^^ Paul McCartney
- ^^^^^ Calvin Coolidge
Big Hello: Ħello - Maltese https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I said to the waitress, “I'd like to buy a bagel with cream cheese.” She said, “Sorry, we only take money”.
Image of the Week: Veronica occupying a Who Gives A Crap box
I'm
tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep
enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas? Jean Kerr / I
make
mistakes; I'll be the second to admit it. --Jean Kerr / Being
divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it,
you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left. --Jean
Kerr / Now the thing about having a baby – and I can't be the first
person to have noticed this – is that thereafter you have it.
--Jean Kerr / I will read anything rather than work. --Jean Kerr
..........Wild horses couldn't make me stay away.........Randy Meisner and the Stone Canyon Band …..Hello Mary Lou
Moonbeam: Have the courage to act instead of react. --Oliver Wendell Holmes
Blasphemy of the Week: If the person offering you salvation is the same person threatening you with punishment and “eternal damnation” it's not really Salvation...it's extortion. --Submitted by MMS
Puzzle of the Week: From listener Eric Berlin of Milford, CT. Take the word SETS. You can add a three-letter word to this twice to get a common phrase: SPARE PARTS. Can you now do this with the word GENIE, add a three-letter word to it twice to get a common phrase. Again, start with GENIE, insert a three-letter word twice, get a common phrase. NPR Sunday Puzzle 3/2/24
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My father warned me about men and booze, but he never mentioned a word about women and cocaine. --Tallulah Bankhead
As
we come marching, marching, we battle too, for men
For
they are women's children and we mother them again
Our
days shall not be sweated from birth until life closes
Hearts starve as well as bodies, give us bread, but give us roses.
Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart. --Erma Bombeck / Gult: the gift that keeps on giving. --Erma Bombeck / My theory of housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you? --Erma Bombeck / Never have more children than you have car windows. -Erma Bombeck / The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. --Erma Bombeck
..........You can spend all your love making time.........Randy Meisner and the Eagles …..Take It To The Limit
^ Marvin Neil Simon
Almanac: It is Friday, March 8, 2024. The moon will be new on Sunday (3/10) and is in Aquarius. It is Be Nasty Day, Day for Women's Rights and International Peace, Girls Write Now Day, International Women's Day, International Working Women's Day, Middle Name Pride Day, National Proofreading dAy, and National Peanut Cluster Day.
Among those born on this day were Oliver Windell Holmes (1841), Cyd Charisse (Tula Ellice Finklea, 1921), Johnny Dollar (1933), Lynn Redgrave (1943), Micky Dolenz (1945), Randy Meisner (1946), Cheryl "Salt" James (1964), and Freddie Prinze Jr. (1976).
On March eighth the Peace of Roskilde was signed (Sweden & Denmark, 1658), the first train crossed the suspension bridge at Niagara Falls (1855), the CSA launched the Merrimack (1862), the first state dog tag law was passed (NY, 1894), Don Quixote premiered (1898), International Women's Day was first celebrated (1911), Pan American Airlines incorporated (1927), Hubble photo shows as many galaxies as the Milky Way has stars (1934), International Women's Day was first celebrated (1945), the Fillmore East opened (1968), the Goodyear blimp made its maiden flight (1972), Charles de Gaulle Airport opened (1974), and China withdrew its troops from Vietnam (1979).
Night Sky, 3/8: Bright Sirius now stands due south on the meridian just as twilight fades out into night. Sirius is the bottom star of the equilateral Winter Triangle. The other two stars of the Triangle are orange Betelgeuse to Sirius's upper right (Orion's shoulder) and Procyon to Sirius's upper left. This is the time of year when the Winter Triangle balances on Sirius shortly after dark. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Fraternal Picture of the Week: A little pick me up...
This Week: Saturday, March 9 – International Fanny Pack Day & Genealogy Day & Panic Day
Sunday, March 10 – International Bagpipe Day & International Day of Awesomeness & International Day of Women Judges
Night Sky, 3/10: Daylight saving time begins at 2 am, for most of North America. Clocks spring ahead an hour.
Monday, March 11 – Dream 2024 & Johnny Appleseed Day & World Plumbing Day
Tuesday, March 12 – Alfred Hitchcock Day & Working Moms Day
Wednesday, March 13 – Donald Duck Day & Sterile Packaging Day & Smart and Sexy Day
Night Sky, 3/13: On the traditional divide between the winter and spring sky is the dim constellation Cancer. It's between Gemini to its west and Leo to its east. Cancer holds something unique in its middle: the Beehive Star Cluster, M44. The Beehive shows dimly to the naked eye if you have little or no light pollution. It's a bit less than halfway from Pollux in Gemini to Regulus in Leo. With binoculars it's easy even under worse conditions. Look for a scattered clump of faint little stars. New Moon (exact at 5 am on this date EDT).
Thursday, March 14 – International Day of Action for Rivers & National Equal Pay Day & Pi Day
The difference between male comedy writers and female comedy writers is that the male ones are taller and weigh more. --Tina Fey / I had to get back to work. NBC has me under contract. The baby and I only have a verbal agreement. --Tina Fey / I am constantly amazed by Tina Fey. And I am Tina Fey --Tina Fey / Harvard is Classical Military Theory, Improv is Vietnam. --Tina Fey
..........And the wicked wind whispers and moans........Randy Meisner and the Eagles …..One Of These Nights
^^ Walter Bruce Willis
Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I feel like the theme of this year's campaign is a) Vote for me because the other guy is much, much worse vs b) Vote for me because the other guy isn't nearly bad enough. And they are both really, really old too. Aren't you glad you live in a democracy?
Moonbeam: Some people are so heavenly minded that they are no earthly good. --Oliver Wendell Holmes
Conspiracy Theory of the Week: Satellites can collide with prayers and destroy or deflect them. --The Onion Report: 32% Of Prayers Deflected Off Passing Satellites (theonion.com)
Video of the Week: Judy Collins live Bread and Roses
The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens. We can't be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we're not all there is. If so, we're in big trouble. --Ellen DeGeneres / People always ask me, “were you funny as a child?” Well, no, I was an accountant. --Ellen DeGeneres / Procrastinate now, don't put it off. --Ellen DeGeneres / The way I see it...If you need both of your hands to whatever it is you're doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too. --Ellen DeGeneres.
..........She's a restless spirit on an endless flight.........Randy Meisner and the Eagles …..Witchy Woman
^^^ Laura Jeanne Reese Witherspoon
As
we come marching, marching, un-numbered women dead
Go
crying through our singing their ancient call for bread
Small
art and love and beauty their trudging spirits knew
Yes,
it is bread we. fight for, but we fight for roses, too
Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm an official cougar. He's young and white. So I'm not just a cougar, I'm a black panther. --Marian Franklin
Weird Word of the Week: Nummit – a meal eaten in the field by farm workers World Wide Words: Nummits and crummits
Dragon of the Week: Salmon Dragon - Quartier Gourmet Market --Submitted by vr of 66
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean leather upholstery in a car. Wash the leather with stale Budweiser beer. Then wash the leather with saddle soap and water, and buff dry with a soft cloth. Let the smell of beer air out of the car before driving anywhere. Otherwise, you may have some explaining to do if you're pulled over by the police. Budweiser®: Wacky Uses
Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. --Lily Tomlin . / I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. --Lily Tomlin / The best mind-altering drug is the truth. --Lily Tomlin / Well, If I can be of any help at all, you are in worse trouble than I thought. / For fast-acting relief try slowing down. --Lily Tomlin
...........The bluebird was high on the wing........Randy Meisner and the Eagles …..Saturday Night
^^^^ James Paul McCartney
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you ever feel worthless, remember, there are people who have theological degrees. --Submitted by MMS
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Awesome Con 2024 (8-10, Washington , DC) ...celebration of geek culture... Home - Awesome Con (awesome-con.com)
Actual Science Conference of the Week: 38th World Congress on Heart Disease (7-8, Toronto Canada) Theme: Beyond the Beat: Finding Courage Against Heart Disease
Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Genie + old → Golden Oldies
I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. --Gilda Radner / It's a floor cleaner and a dessert topping. --Jane Curtin / When in doubt, make funny faces. --Amy Pohler / In real life, I'm gorgeous, beautiful. --Rachel Dratch / I'm about to enter a national ass-kicking contest. With no legs. And a massive ass. --Julia Louis-Dreyfus / If it's not one thing, it's your mother. --Julia Sweeney
..........And the empty night swallowed my car.........Randy Meisner …..One More Song
^^^^^ John Calvin Coolidge
Micro Story of the Week: I do not remember this, but it is family lore. I was born Mary Christine Bray and people called me Mary. When I was 2, I discovered that I had another name and I thought Christine was the most beautiful name I had ever heard and I told everyone I wanted to be Christine from then on. My family learned to call me Christine but my Aunt Bobby called me Mary until the day she died. Postscript: When I went to first grade there was another Christine and so I had to go back to Mary until 7th grade when Mary Sullivan moved into the district and I went back, back to Christine.
Quote of the Week: Womanist is to feminist as purple is to lavender. --Alice Walker
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Based on the amount of pottery fragments alone, the Roman Empire may be the clumsiest empire history has ever known. --Submitted by LaughingInDisbelief
Today's Peace of History, March 8, 1909: Thousands of workers in the New York needle trades (primarily women) demonstrated and began a strike for higher wages, a shorter workday and an end to child labor. This event inspired the date for International Women's Day celebrated all over the world since March 8, 1945
To me, political office should be like jury duty. You should just get a notice in the mail one day and say, “Aw, sh*t, I'm secretary of state next month.” --Wanda Sykes. / I hate when women compare men to dogs. Men are not dogs. Dogs are loyal. I've never found any strange panties in my dog's house. --Wanda Sykes / When my parents send me emails, the first three are blank. --Wanda Sykes / My neighbor, she invited me to an Elvis party. I told her I couldn't come 'cause I'd be too busy making fun of her from behind my blinds. --Wanda Sykes
..........Now that you're gone I can't go on.........Randy Meisner with Kim Carnes …..Deep Inside My Heart
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, May 8, 2024, fUnny gIrl ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.
Moonbeam: Stupidity often saved a man from going mad. --Oliver Wendell Holmes
Cost of War:
- As of 03/07/24 State Department Costs: $230,603,743,800.
- As of 02/29/24 State Department Costs: $230,050,060,212.
- As of 03/07/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,203,203,673,241.
- As of 02/29/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,201,659,835,080.
- As of 03/07/24 Homeland Security: $1,162,190,357,489.
- As of 02/29/24 Homeland Security: $1,161,590,031,815.
- As of 03/07/24 Veterans Care: $3,545,854,708,930.
- As of 02/29/24 Veterans Care: $3,534,154,563,786.
- As of 03/07/24 Military Costs: $3,073,229,010,119.
- As of 02/29/24 Military Costs: $3,034,159,269,129.
- As of 03/07/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,215,084,778,555.
- As of 02/29/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,199,519,432,672.
https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/
As
we go marching, marching, we bring the greater days
The
rising of the women means the rising of the race
No
more the drudge and idler, ten that toil where one reposes
But
a sharing of life's glories, bread and roses, bread and roses
Famous Last Words: Good night and have a pleasant tomorrow. --Jane Curtin
..........Gonna roll on down the highway..........R Meisner and E Kaz …..Hearts On Fire
I'm beginning to appreciate the value of naps. Naps are wonderful, aren't they? Sometimes I have to take a nap to get ready for bed. --Marsha Warfield / When I was growing up the only time a woman could enjoy sex was when she needed a new refrigerator. --Marsha Warfield / I used to be a virgin but I gave it up because there was no money in it. --Marsha Warfield / Every time a baseball player grabs his crotch, it makes him spit. That's why you should never date a baseball player. --Marsha Warfield
May
your Peace give you joy
And
your Joy give you peace
prairie
mama
christine
Last Laugh: Happy Be Nasty Day
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