tHe eNglish ePistle

 Famous First Words: Angels in heaven know I love you... Opening words of Friday the 13^th – the movie.

Today is English Language Day! English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though. / Every time you make a typo the errorists win.

..........In the naked light I saw, 10,000 people maybe more.........Simon and Garfunkel …..Sound of Silence

Jails and prisons are designed to break human beings, to convert the population into specimens in a zoo – obedient to our keepers, but dangerous to each other. --Angela Davis

It is an absolutely beautiful Friday morning. 54°F is neither cold nor hot, and wind gusts from the west of 13 mph keep the thinning willow dancing and the mulberry on alert. Unseen birds are chirping away at the rising sun which is still behind a cloudbank which is moving to the east. Mulberry trees drop leaves individually as soon as they turn bright yellow, so the remaining leaves are green but there are fewer every day. I sit at my computer munching a glazed doughnut and listening for the crows, but they do not call. My cup of creamy, sweet decaf steams up my nose and suggests lazy mornings and fine company. A very large bird – a crane, perhaps – just flew between the high willow branches and my window; what a wonderful way to start the day. And writing to you is the cherry on top.

Hope your weekend dots all the i's and crosses all the t's, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Despite the high cost of living it remains popular. --Submitted by VTSG

Hyperbole is, without a doubt, the single most magnificent thing that has ever happened in the world ever. / I'm pretty close friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know “y”.

..........I woke up from out of my dreams..........Simon and Garfunkel …..Peace Like A River

Trivia Questions: It's African Penguin Awareness Day; so, how aware are we?

• ^ What distinguishes the African penguin from other penguins?
• ^^ How do African Penguins communicate with one another?
• ^^^ Exactly where in Africa do African Penguins live?
• ^^^^ Where do African Penguins stand on love and marriage?
• ^^^^^ Are African Penguins endangered?

Big Hello: Salam alejkum (Сaлam aлeйkym) – Lezgi {Dagestan & Azerbaijan} https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The brighter side of book banning: Illiterate people are finally caring about books.

Image of the Week: Veronica the cat with her human, Dashiell, on and in my recliner

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: At any given moment 13% of librarians are searching for the source of a smelly smell. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

I coined a new word: Plagiarism. / My three year old spilled her Alphabet Soup. What a mess, it spelled disaster.

..........They give us those nice bright colors..........Simon and Garfunkel …..Kodachrome

Moonbeam: Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God. --Lenny Bruce

Question of the Week: Does it sound like I'm ordering a pizza? --John McClane in Die Hard

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Jim Humphreys, of Northampton, MA. Name a well-known U.S. city in four syllables. The first two syllables, with a letter inserted, will name an animal — that might be found in the place named by the last syllable. What city was it? NPR Sunday Puzzle 10/8/23

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The asteroid that ended the dinosaurs was technically the highest ratio of killing birds to one stone in Earth's history. --Submitted by bc of tx

English doesn’t “borrow” from other languages: it follows them down dark alleys, knocks them over, and goes through their pockets for loose vocabulary. / If womb is pronounced woom and tomb is pronounced toom, should bomb be pronounced boom?

..........Every day's an endless dream of cigarettes and magazines..........Simon and Garfunkel …..Homeward Bound

^ Black and white and cute all over. While the African penguin may not be found in freezing temperatures, they are covered in an array of black, white, and gray dense, waterproof feathers that keep them dry and warm in the cold waters off the African coast. They also have a number of dot-like markings flecked across their white chests. These flecks help to individualize each penguin, as each penguin's feather pattern is as individual as a human's fingerprints. African penguins have a distinct, sharply pointed beak and black feet. The African penguin is one of the smallest penguin species. Pictures

Almanac: It is Friday, October 12, 2023. The moon will be new tomorrow and is in Libra. The United Nations has declared this International Day of the Girl Child. It is English Language Day, International Day for Disaster Reduction, International African Penguin Awareness Day, International Day for Failure, Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness Day, US Navy's Birthday, Silly Sayings Day, and Simchat Torah. Because it is the second Friday it is also National Family Bowling Day (or Kids Bowl Free Day) and World Egg Day,

Among those born on this day were Horace Hayden (1769), Lillie Langtry (1853), Conrad Richter (1890), Arna Bontemps (1902), Herblock (Herbert L Block, 1909), Cornel Wilde (1915), Nipsey Russel (1920), Yves Montand (1921), Frank Gilroy (1925), Lenny Bruce (1925), Margaret Thatcher (1925), Paul Simon (1942), Lacy J Dalton (1946), Leona Mitchell (1948), Sammy Hagar (1949), and Marie Osmond (1959).

On October thirteenth the Continental Congress ordered the construction of a naval fleet (1775), the cornerstone for the white house was laid (1892), B'nai B'rith was founded (NY, 1843), Texas ratified its state constitution (1845), Kukla, Fran & Ollie premiered (1947), A Bear Named Paddington hit the shelves (1958), Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf opened on Broadway (1962), the Voskhod I crew returned to Earth (1964), Angela Davis was arrested in NYC (1970), Martin Luther King, Jr was assassinated (1978), and Mubarak was elected president of Egypt (1981).

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Max and Ollie on the Do It Yourself toy making assembly line

This Week: Saturday, October 14 – Costume Swap Day & Universal Music Day & World Standards Day

Night Sky, 10/14: Annular Solar Eclipse: 10:24 am CDT Maximum 11:49 am Ends 1:20 pm https://www.timeanddate.com/eclipse/solar/2023-october-14

Sunday, October 15 – Blind Americans Equality Day & Global Handwashing Day & National Grouch Day

Night Sky, 10/15: Now that it's mid-October, Deneb has replaced Vega as the zenith star after nightfall (for sky watchers at mid-northern latitudes). Accordingly, Capricornus has replaced Sagittarius as the zodiacal constellation low in the south. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Monday, October 16 – Dictionary Day & Global Cat Day & World Food Day

Tuesday, October 17 – Black Poetry Day** & Pay Back A Friend Day & Wear Something Gaudy Day

** My favorite poem by a black person and my favorite peace poem of all time Give Us Our Peace by Langston Hughes

Wednesday, October 18 – International Pronouns Day & Newspaper Comic Strip Appreciation Day

Night Sky, 10/18: Venus, brilliant at magnitude –4.6 in Leo, is as high as it's going to get as the "Morning Star." Look east before and during dawn. Venus rises more than two hours before dawn's first light — a weird UFO on the eastern horizon. Watch Regulus, only 1 percent as bright, pass Venus this week. It moves day by day from Venus's lower left to upper right. They appear closest, 2.3° apart, on the morning of October 9th. In a telescope, Venus is a very thick "crescent" almost at dichotomy (half-lit phase).

Thursday, October 19 – Evaluate Your Life Day & International Gin and Tonic Day & World Statistics Day

This sentence has 7 different meanings depending on which word the speaker stresses: I never said she stole my money. / It makes me really uncomfortable that the word Australia contains three A's and all of them are pronounced differently.

..........Four in the morning, crapped out, yawning..........Paul Simon …..Still Crazy After All These Years

^^ African penguins communicate with one another through vocalizations and body language. Each individual has its own unique vocalization that distinguishes it from the others. They use three different types of calls: a bray, used to attract a mate; the yell, used to defend their territory; and the haw, used by mates to locate each other when one is on land and one is at sea. When a penguin is feeling aggressive, it communicates through body language like gaping, pointing the bill, pecking, and bill-jabbing.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Plateaus – the highest form of flattery. --Submitted by Science Humor

Moonbeam: If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone. --Lenny Bruce

Video of the Week: Fran and Ollie and Delores Dragon – sans Kukla - Dragon singing My Favorite Things (3:26)

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Who was being playful and not really biting? Commander the dog. ... Meanwhile Patrick McHenry is stepping in as interim family pet. ... Republicans have been for a year now trying to create a scandal about Hunter Biden when there was another Biden family member who was actually trying to kill people. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 10/7/23

Radical simply means 'grasping things at the root.' --Angela Davis

There are languages in which pronunciation and spelling are related. Not English: Laid is pronounced like paid but not said and said is pronounced like bread but not bead and bead is pronounced like lead and not lead. / Tier and tear are pronounced the same but tear and tear are pronounced differently

..........And my mother laughed the way some ladies do..........Simon and Garfunkel …..Late In The Evening

^^^ African penguins can be found in large colonies along the southwestern rocky coast of Africa from Namibia to Port Elizabeth, and many of the surrounding islands. The largest colony is located on Dyer Island. The birds build nests in sand or deposits of their excrement, called guano, or under bushes or rocks. Shelter provides them protection from the harsh sun during the hot African days.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Isn't the Grand Canyon just gorges?

Weird Word of the Week: Emuscation – to remove moss from the bark of a tree.

Dragon of the Week: Autumn Dragon (Print by Redbubble)

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Hasten the ripening of strawberries. Make hoop supports by cutting Hula Hoops in half and inserting the legs firmly into the soil. Cover with a canopy made from sheets of bubble wrap draped over the hoop supports and secured in place with Scotch Packaging Tape. Do this in early spring and make certain the sheets of Bubble Wrap are high enough not to touch the plants. You can also secure the Bubble Wrap by staking the ends to the ground with wire. At the end of the season, roll up the Bubble Wrap to be used again the following year. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bubblewrap.html

Why does everyone say “house-wife” or “house-husband” when “House-spouse” is not only gender neutral, but also rhymes? / Is firefly the opposite of waterfall?

...........Everybody thinks its true..........Paul Simon …..Train In The Distance

^^^^ African penguins reach sexual maturity around four years of age. At this time, the male will court the female with a donkey-like bray. Who can resist? (This call also earned them the nickname jackass penguins.) Once the male is accepted by the female, the pair will continue to bond for the rest of the season—and they sometimes remain bonded for future mating seasons, but not always.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Personally, I observe Columbus Day by getting lost in the supermarket looking for spices.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: VisionCon (9/13-15, Springfield,MO) ...Southwest Missouri's premier pop culture convention. https://visioncon.net/content/staff/staff.php

Actual Science Conference of the Week: SciX (8-13, Sparks, NV) ...sessions covering all fields of analytical chemistry, cutting-edge technology in the exhibit floor, and unrivaled networking opportunities. https://scixconference.org/

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Kalamazoo --> koala, zoo

I before e...except when you run a feisty heist on a weird beige foreign neighbor. / Grammar: the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.

..........Empty as a pocket with nothing to lose..........Paul Simon …..Diamonds On The Soles Of Her Shoes

^^^^^ African penguin populations have plummeted. While breeding pairs may have numbered in the millions in the early 20th century, less than 42,000 individuals remain today. Habitat loss, overfishing, and coastal development are taking a toll.

Saying of the Jewish Buddha of the Week: Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness.

Quote of the Week: Bring it on. --Former Speaker of the House, Kevin McCarthy

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Just one more thing, when you were “discovering America” was there anybody else there at the time? --Submitted by MMS

Today's Peace of History, October 13, 1934: The American Federation of Labor (AFL) voted to boycott all German-made products as a protest against Nazi antagonism to organized labor within Germany.

English says in January, but on Wednesday, and at noon. / Of course, English has rules; it's just that none of them ever apply.

..........The problem is all inside your head..........Paul Simon …..50 Ways To Leave Your Lover

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, October 13, 2023, tHe eNglish ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I'd be standing in the bread line – right in back of J Edgar Hoover. --Lenny Brune

Cost of War:

As of 10/12/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $218,909,644,897.
As of 10/05/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $218,364,241,913.
As of 10/12/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,170,540,840,576.
As of 10/05/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,169,017,480,923.
As of 10/12/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,149,488,175,152.
As of 10/05/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,148,895,719,848.
As of 10/12/23 Veterans Care since 2001:$3,298,262,369,038.
As of 10/05/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,285,713,953,245.
As of 10/12/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,048,429,441,605.
As of 10/05/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,047,272,744,163.
As of 10/12/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,885,632,656,719.
As of 10/05/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,870,268,096,807.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

What this country needs is more unemployed politicians. --Angela Davis

Famous Last Words: ...is it any wonder?” --A Bear Named Paddington by Michael Bond

..........I'd say “now who do...who do you think you're fooling..........Simon and Garfunkel …..Loves Me Like A Rock

English is three languages standing on each other's shoulders wearing a trench coat. / A dialect becomes a language when the speakers acquire an army.

May Peace speak words of comfort
And Joy sing songs of delight
prairie mama
christine

Last Laugh: Herblock Cartoon 1993