cOld fRame ePistle

 Famous First Words: Happy birthday to you... First singing telegram delivered to Rudy Vallee

Ah, the height of gardening season. It was all fun and games until the Jolly Green Giant got aphids. / Last year all the little signs with the name of the herbs blew away in a storm. So this year I planted them in alphabetical order.

...........Dreams may disappoint us as they often do........Rudy Vallee …..A Little Kiss Each Morning

Overcoming poverty is not a gesture of charity. It is an act of justice. It is the protection of a fundamental human right, the right to dignity and a decent life. --Nelson Mandela

It is a muggy (82°F, 62% Humidity – so, it could be worse) Friday morning. The sky is without clouds. The mulberry tree, however, is with cardinals and sparrows and even a robin. The mulberries must be getting close to ripe. There is a breeze that comes in gusts; at the moment the mulberry is dancing and the willow is still. High above every tree a single large bird flies swiftly towards the northeast. I cannot see what kind of bird it is. The call, twee- twee, twee-twee, that I hear does not come from the high flier. I have no coffee this morning but I take a long swig of water tasting pretty much like nothing. And there is an aroma of bacon coming from the kitchen, so everything's gonna be alright!

May your weekend grow great fun, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If the broom fits, ride it. --Submitted by Stirring the Cauldron

I learned to garden by trowel and error. / I was terrified of gardening until I finally grew a pear.

..........Tau sei bella, bella, bella, bella, bella.........Rudy Vallee …..Vieni, Vieni

Trivia Questions: This is the weekend of the Garlic Festival in Gilroy, CA

• ^ How much garlic does the average person consume per year?
• ^^ Where does all this garlic come from?
• ^^^ Can garlic really ward off blood suckers?
• ^^^^ Can you really use garlic for glue?
• ^^^^^ How many kinds of garlic are there?

Big Hello: Haawka – Kumeyaay ({Diegueño} Baja California) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It is no advantage to be near the light if the eyes are closed. --Augustine of Hippo

Image of the Week: In honor of the opening of Oppenheimer

~~I couldn't find a picture of a bomb blowing up Barbie's car.

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: For best results, all communication with the reference librarians should be in the form of a question. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

My daughter is a professional baker so she has a flour garden. / I finally had to dig up all my cantaloupe plants. They were making my dog melon collie.

..........We just seem to synchronize........Rudy Vallee …..My Time Is Your Time

Moonbeam: If I have done anything, even a little, to help small children enjoy honest, simple pleasures, I have done a bit of good --Beatrix Potter

Question of the Week: How do we know global warming isn't just Mother Nature having a hot flash? --John Wagner

Puzzle of the Week: From listener James Matthews, of Little Rock, Ark. Think of a six-letter word for something you might wear. Insert an "O" in the exact middle, and you'll get a phrase meaning "Not aware." What is it? NPR Sunday Puzzle 7/26/20

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Netflix condemns WGA strike for putting future show cancellations behind schedule. --The Onion

Last night I heard music and laughter from my herb garden. It turns out it was Party Thyme. / As a fundraiser the local gardening club is selling potting soil dirt cheap.

..........Once I built a railroad; I made it run........Rudy Vallee …..Brother, Can You Spare A Dime

^ Obviously, some people eat way more garlic than others, but overall, the average person eats about 2 lbs of garlic each year. That’s actually a lot of garlic! With the average clove weighing about 3 grams, 2 lbs of garlic are over 300 cloves.

Almanac: It is Friday, July 28, 2023. The moon was in the first quarter last Wednesday (7/26) and is in Sagittarius. The United Nations has declared this World Hepatitis Day (World Health Organization). Today is Buffalo Soldiers Day, National Milk Chocolate Day, and Volunteers of America Founders Day (1859), Because it is the last Friday in July it is also the Garlic Festival, National Talk in An Elevator Day, and Lumberjack Day.

Among those born on this day were Ibn al-'Arabi (1165), Thomas Heyward (1746), Philippe Fabre d'eglantine (1750), Gerard Manley Hopkins (1844), Beatrix Potter (1866), Marcel Duchamp (1887), Joe E Brown (1892), Rudy Vallee (1901), Earl S Tupper (1907), Vivian Vance (1907), Darryl Hickman (1930), Jacques D'Amboise (1934), Jim Davis (1945), Richard Wright (1945), and Sally Struthers (1947).

On July twenty-eighth Peru declared independence from Spain (1821), a total solar eclipse was first captured on a daguerreotype (1851), Parsifal was first produced (Bayreuth, 1882), the City of Miami was incorporated (1896), the foxtrot was introduced (NYC, 1914), Hoover evicted the bonus marchers camped in DC (1932), the first singing telegram was delivered (1933), Mussolini resigned (1943), the senate ratified the UN charter (89-2, 1945),Richard Nixon became the Republican candidate (1960), and Summer Jam rock festival featured the Grateful Dead, TheAllman Brothers Band and The Band (1973).

Night Sky, 7/28: Now the Moon shines just a few degrees left of Antares through the evening. But, of course, they're not the slightest bit close together. The Moon is 1.3 light-seconds from us. Antares, at a distance of about 550 light-years, is some 13 billion times farther away. Moreover, Antares is estimated to be almost 200,000 times larger in diameter. Nowhere in human experience but astronomy are things so different than they appear. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: How happy can three people be?

This Week: Saturday, July 29 – Global Tiger Day & Rain Day & National Get Gnarly Day,

Sunday, July 30 – Friendship Day & National Share A Hug Day & World Day Against Trafficking in Persons

Night Sky, 7/30: The Moon hangs just off the handle of the Sagittarius Teapot this evening. Binoculars may help you pick out the Teapot stars through the moonlight. Remember that the Teapot is about twice as wide as a typical binocular's field of view, so expect to sweep around a bit to get it all

Monday, July 31 – National Avocado Day & National Mutt Day & National Orgasm Day

Tuesday, August 1 – Girlfriend's Day & Lammas aka Loafmas & National night Out

Wednesday, August 2 – National Coloring Book Day & Take a Penny/Leave a Penny Day

Night Sky, 8/2: Saturn (magnitude +0.7, in dim Aquarius) rises in late twilight. It's highest in the south, and sharpest and steadiest in a telescope, before the first glimmers of dawn.

Thursday, August 3 – IPA Beer Day & National Hair Gloss Day & Watermelon Day

Greta spends so much time in her garden she's taken to wearing garden hose. / Little gnome fact, almost all garden gnomes have red hats.

..........Stand and drink a toast once again........Rudy Vallee …..The Stein Song

^^ Garlic is common in cooking in a wide range of cuisines, from Italian to African and many others, and it is cultivated and grown in nearly every country. As of 2012, however, 2/3 of the garlic grown in the world, nearly 46 billion pounds per year, comes from China. Garlic is originally native to Central Asia, so this makes sense.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: God loves you even when Christians don't. Sign in front of the Church of the Covenant. --Submitted by 98%

Saying of the Jewish Buddha of the Week: If there is no self, whose arthritis is this? --The Sayings of the Jewish Buddha --Submitted by jm of ks

Moonbeam: Even the smallest one can change the world. --Beatrix Potter

Video of the Week: Vivian Vance with Lucille Ball in the Candy Factory Scene (3:06) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnHiAWlrYQc

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Barbie-hemier Day - savior of multiplexes. Not to be confused with Oppenhemier Barbie who comes with a Fedora and a little pink atom bomb. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 7/22/23

My work with the poor and the incarcerated has persuaded me that the opposite of poverty is not wealth; the opposite of poverty is justice. --Bryan Stevenson

I garden in the nude. It's a lot cheaper than a scarecrow. / Grace ran for president of the Garden Club on the Lawn and Order agenda.

..........She's happy with a fellow on each arm........Rudy Vallee …..Betty Coed

^^^ No, not vampires, though that particular piece of lore likely comes from garlic’s true ability. Garlic is a natural mosquito repellent. What a great reason to eat more this summer!

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The past tense of William Shakespeare would be Wouldiwas Shookspeared. --Submitted by sh or bc

Weird Word of the Week: Absquatulate (ab-SKWAGH-ə-late): Leave abruptly https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/absquatulate ~~I like this because it thinks we can pronounce SKWACH.

Dragon of the Week: Garden Dragon

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Store Asparagus. Trim the ends of the stalks slightly, wet a sheet of Bounty Paper Towel, and wrap paper towel around the cut ends of the asparagus. Refrigerate, but do not store for more than a day or two. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bounty2.html

Remember: when you bury a body, cover the area with endangered plants so it's illegal to dig it up. / My garden always looked sad. So I started watering it with root beer.

..........wondering what the future will reveal.........Rudy Vallee …..I'm Just A Vagabond Lover

^^^^ If you’ve ever cut garlic, you’ve probably noticed the sticky residue the juice leaves on your hands. This actually works quite well as a bonding agent for small and delicate projects, like glass.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My emotional support dog ate my comfort food. --Speedbump.com

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: GalaxyCon (27-30, Raleigh, NC) a 4-Day FESTIVAL OF FANDOM with celebrities, artists, writers, voice actors, cosplayers, entertainers, creators, wrestlers, fan groups, panelists, and PEOPLE LIKE YOU https://galaxycon.com/pages/galaxycon-raleigh?gclid=Cj0KCQjwiIOmBhDjARIsAP6YhSU4TzHPajHomHKTjiRryvlky0ol3Ori1bC6jBqRbGbGaUOiZ0Segs0aAt48EALw_wcB

Actual Science Conference of the Week: ChinaJoy X Game Connection (28-30. Shanghai) an ideal stage for the world’s best developers to showcase their works and to find an efficient bridge for business & investment. https://www.game-connection.com/about-game-connection-x-chinajoy/

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Outfit → out Of it

My dog helped me plant daisies along the fence; but what came up was collie flowers. / When I told my mom that I'd planted chili peppers, she knitted them little sweaters.

..........Don't take it serious, it's too mysterious.........Rudy Vallee …..Life Is Just A Bowl Of Cherries

^^^^^ When you walk into a grocery store, you might see a few different kinds of garlic. Some are white, some are purple, and some are huge. However, there are actually more than 450 types of garlic in the world, and not all of them are used in food.

Quote of the Week: You should be especially nice to a librarian today, or tomorrow. Sometime this week, anyway. Probably the librarians would like tea, Or chocolates. Or a reliable source of funding. --Neil Gaiman

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: What if my dog only brings this stick back because he thinks I like to throw it?

Today's Peace of History, July 28, 1982: San Francisco became the first U.S. city to ban the sale and possession of handguns. The law was struck down by state courts, which ruled the local law to be in violation of the California constitution which gives the state the sole power to regulate firearms.

I thought I planted a bed of lettuce and a few sweet peas. Turns out it was an all-you-can-eat buffet for the rabbits that live under the shed. / Geraldine started a business the replants fields by using crop dusting techniques. It's a reseeding airline.

..........the fundamental things apply.........Rudy Vallee …..As Time Goes By

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle July 28, 2023, Cold Frame ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: There is something delicious about writing the first words of a story. You never quite know where they'll take you. --Beatrix Potter

Cost of War:

• As of 07/27/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $212,791,285,233.
• As of 07/20/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $212.237,316,368.
• As of 07/27/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,153,451,723,374.
• As of 07/20/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,151,904,414,751.
• As of 07/27/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,142,842,394,546.
• As of 07/20/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,142,240,673,167.
• As of 07/27/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,168,722,374,905.
• As of 07/20/23 Veterans Care since 2001:$3,156,994,650,047.
• As of 07/27/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,035,545,381,593.
• As of 07/20/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,034,279,693,112.
• As of 07/27/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,713,265,093,871.
• As of 07/20/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,697,660,179,757.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Where you live should not determine whether you live or whether you die. --Bono

Famous Last Words: Our Redeemer redeemed --Richard Wagner Parsifal

..........Adieu, adieu, kind friends, yes, adieu.........Rudy Vallee …..The Drunkard Song

I thought you were going to spend the day gardening? I did. I planted myself on this couch. / To distinguish herbs from weeds – pull them all up. The ones that come up again are weeds.

May Peace seed your flowerbed

And Joy water your plants

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

ePistle iNquiry

 Famous First Words: Whereas section 1 of the act of Congress entitled... Executive Order 5398 – Herbert Hoover

July is Get Ready For Kindergarten Month. Did my teacher take all the arithmetic books out of the classroom because they had so many problems? / If I get my peanut butter on the doorknob, should I use the door jam?

It's so hot I saw a funeral procession pull through a Dairy Queen.

..........Dreaming about the world as one..........Cat Stevens …..Peace Train

As long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there to hold the person down, so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might. --Marian Anderson National Federation of Afro-American Women

It is a gray, humid Friday morning. At first glance the sky seems a solid, dirty white without texture or movement; but if you look long enough you see that it has many small darker grays and blues that refuse to blend into the pale dawn heavens. Trees are restless in the 7 mph northeast wind – the willow dancing and the mulberry barely bothering to wave. Birds are heard discussing the day's plans and what flower seeds are ripe and which feeders are still full. These birds remain hidden in the lush foliage of tree limbs and bush branches but their song carries even through my window. It is 70°F with a relative humidity of 80%. I believe that I may have been in steam rooms with less humidity. The humidity enhances the odor of wet soil and damp plants; it is a spring smell in the heat of summer. I have almost given up coffee for breakfast – even decaf – and so I take a long sip of water...no flavor yet very refreshing. But the very best of all is that I get to write to you.

Hoping your weekend is cool on many, many levels, ePistiers,

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Getting old sucks big time. I just threw my back out because the toaster startled me. --Submitted by jm or ks

Do you call a sneezing locomotive achoo-choo train? / Can only twins eat pears?

It's so hot I filled my waterbed with ice cubes.

..........It's hard to get by just upon a smile..........Cat Stevens …..Wild World

Trivia Questions: It's National Drinking Age Day.

• ^ What are the percentages of underage drinking in the US?
• ^^ What was the drinking age before the Prohibition Era?
• ^^^ What about age and drinking during Prohibition?
• ^^^^ How did the end of Prohibition affect the drinking age?
• ^^^^^ What is the current status of a national drinking age?

Big Hello: Annyeong-Hasimnikka (안녕하십니까) - Korean https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Eyelashes are supposed to prevent things from going into your eyes but whenever I have something in my eye – it's always an eyelash. Eyeronic. --Submitted by INRITH

Image of the Week: Storm Damage 7/14/23 - 11^th & Pennsylvania, Lawrence KS

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: The average librarian's to-be-read pile is equal to half their height times 2. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Did Ms Biscuit have to go to the doctor because she was feeling crumby? / Do bee's wings get sticky because they use honey combs?

It's so hot congress installed a fan in the debt ceiling.

..........If my colours all run dry..........Cat Stevens …..Moonshadow

Moonbeam: Sometimes you got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun. --Robin Williams

Question of the Week: What animal would make a great driver?

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Peter Gwinn, who writes for "Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me!" Take the first name of a famous movie director. Write it in upper- and lowercase letters. Rotate the third letter of this name 180° and you'll get the name of the main character in one of this director's most popular movies. Who was it? NPR Sunday Puzzle 7/16/23

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: 93 degrees and a thunderstorm, WTF am I supposed to wear? A thong and rain boots? --Submitted by RHOZ

Wasn't the first animal in space the cow that jumped over the moon? / Do giraffes have those long necks because they have smelly feet?

It's so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.

..........Keep your cotton picking fingers out my curly hair..........Cat Stevens …..Hard Headed Woman

^ Underage drinking is common and often excessive. In 2019, over 7 million 12-to 20-year-olds reported past month alcohol use, over 4 million reported past month binge drinking, and nearly 1 million reported past month heavy alcohol use.

Almanac: It is Friday, July 21, 2023. The moon goes into the first quarter on Tuesday (7/25) and is in Virgo. It is Legal Drinking Age Day and No Pet Store Puppies Day.

Among those who were born on this day were Victor Schoelcher (1804), Paul Julius Baron von Reuter (1816), Louise Blanchard Bethune (1856), Frances Folsom Cleveland (1864), Frances Parkinson Keyes (1885), Ernest Hemmingway (1899), Hart Crane (1899), Marshall McLuhan (1911), Isaac Stern (1920), Kay Starr (1922), Don Knotts (1924), Cat Stevens (1947), Robin Williams (1951), and Jon Lovitz (1957).

On July twenty first the English defeated the Spanish armada (1588), Belgium gained independence from the Netherlands (1831), the first Canadian railroad opened (1836), Jesse James robbed his first train (1873), the National Federation of Afro-American Women & the Colored Women's League merged to form National Association of Colored Women (1896), Spain ceded Guam to the US (1898),

Jenatzy set a world auto speed record at 65.79 MPH (1904), the US Veterans Administration was established (1930), the Soviet Union annexed Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania (1940), the senate ratified the North Atlantic Treaty (1946), Althea Gibson became the first black person to win a major US tennis tournament (1957), Gus Grissom was launched in the Mercury 4 (1961), Neil Armstrong stepped onto the moon (1969), Billy Martin was fired as the Texas Rangers manager (1975), the National Women's Hall of Fame was dedicated (Seneca Falls, NY, 1979), and Pink Floyd performed "The Wall" where the Berlin Wall once stood (1990).

Night Sky, 7/21: In late twilight, look about a fist at arm's length above the Moon for Denebola, Beta Leonis. That's Leo's tail tip. This late in July, Leo is going goodbye. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Where Cotton Candy is King

This Week: Saturday, July 22 – Casual Pi Day & National Cowboy Day & Spooners** Day

**Spoonerisms - bot hog duns (hot dog buns), chewing the doors (doing the chores) deeding the fog...

Sunday, July 23 – Gorgeous Grandma Day & Hot Enough for Ya Day & Body Painting Day

Night Sky, 7/23: To me, the thick waxing crescent is one of the most interesting phases for exploring the Moon's terminator with a telescope. And this evening, above or upper right of the Moon by a couple degrees is 3rd-magnitude Gamma Virginis (Porrima), a fine close telescopic double star for telescopes. Its components are 3.3 arcseconds apart this year, oriented almost north-south. They're both magnitude 3.5.

Monday, July 24 – Cousins Day & National Frozen Margarita Day & Tell An Old Joke Day^

*The oldest British joke dates back to the 10th Century and reveals the bawdy face of the Anglo-Saxons -- “What hangs at a man’s thigh and wants to poke the hole that it’s often poked before? Answer: A key.”

Tuesday, July 25 – Carousel Day & Hire a Veteran Day & Wine and Cheese Day

Wednesday, July 26 – Americans With Disabilities Day & Aunts and Uncles Day & Bagelfest Day

Night Sky, 7/26: Jupiter (magnitude –2.3, in Aries) rises around 1 am in the east-northeast. By the beginning of dawn it shines high toward the east-southeast.

Thursday, July 27 – Black Women's Equal Pay Day & Love Is Kind Day & Walk On Stilts Day

Do milkshakes come from dancing cows? / Were the Raptor dinosaurs singers?

It's so hot Jehovah's Witnesses have started telemarketing.

..........Those politicians keep telling lies..........Cat Stevens …..All Nights, All Days

^^ Before the Prohibition Era, which began in 1919, there existed no minimum alcohol purchase or public possession age.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's easy to think of Ayn Rand as a terrible person with an evil philosophy, but if you've ever read her books you'd know she was also a terrible writer. --Submitted by Anti-Capitalist Education

Moonbeam: The only weapon we have is comedy. --Robin Williams

Video of the Week: 2½ minutes of Robin Williams being really, really funny. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmqmyYRi-lU

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Now that writers and actors are not going to work, what will be the next season's hit tv show? A test of the Emergency Broadcasting System. --Emmy Blotnik Comedians in cars driving for Uber. --Joyelle Nicole Johnson Meta reality shows like Inside Keeping Up With the Kardashians and The Making of Inside Keeping Up With the Kardashians and Son of The True History of the Making of Inside Keeping Up With the Kardashians. --Adam Felber Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 7/15/23

It is the cultivation of our own natures that is aimed at and not the imitation of the nature of another. The powers of our own mind are to be drawn out. --Hallie Quinn Brown Colored Women's League

Do all robbers wear sneakers? / If the ocean is dangerous, how come it waves?

It's so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.

..........I let the music take me where my heart wants to go..........Cat Stevens …..The Wind

^^^ During Prohibition, people were allowed to make their own personal alcohol (up to a certain annual limit) regardless of age. No person of any age could sell or transport alcohol.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The four seasons are Depression, Allergies, Tomatoes, and Spooky. --Submitted by StoreHouse

Weird Word of the Week: Bibble – a small smooth rounded stone -a rock fragment (smaller than a cobble but larger than a granule. https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english/bibble#:~:text=Definition%20of%20'bibble'&text=a.,but%20larger%20than%20a%20granule

Dragon of the Week: Craig Silverman's three headed dragon

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Speed up the time it takes to defrost frozen meat. Place a few sheets of Bounty Paper Towels on the counter top, place a trivet (or a grill from one of the stove burners) on top of the paper towels, and place the frozen package of meat on top of that. The trivet (or grill) allows the air to circulate under the meat, speeding up the defrosting process. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bounty2.html

Does a palm tree fit in my hand? / Do hummingbirds hum because they don't know the words?

It's so hot my seat belt evolved into a branding iron.

...........You're only dancin' on this earth for a short while..........Cat Stevens …..Oh Very Young

^^^^ When Prohibition ended in December of 1933, many states established the legal drinking age of 21 years. Some set theirs lower, at 18 or 20, but the majority used 21 years. These restrictions remained in place until the Vietnam Era, which spanned the years of 1964-1975. Some states lowered their drinking ages to correspond to Draft Age. (“Old enough to die but not to drink.”)

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Nationalism is an infantile disease. It is the measles of mankind. --Albert Einstein

Political Slogan of the Week: Drag Is Free Speech!

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: BroadwayCon (21-23, Times Square, NYC) Where Broadway and Fandom Meet https://www.broadwaycon.com/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Annual World Congress of Smart Materials 2023 (22-24, Barcelona, Spain) 500+ world renowned experts... https://expotobi.com/world-congress-of-smart-materials

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Ridley (Scott), who directed "Alien," starring Sigourney Weaver as Ripley

Do ten tickles make the octopus laugh? / Do starfish only swim at night?

It's so hot when the temperature dropped below 95, I put on a sweater.

..........And take your time, think a lot..........Cat Stevens …..Father And Son

^^^^^ The Federal Uniform Drinking Age Act of 1984 sets the minimum legal drinking age to 21 and every State abides by that standard.

Quote of the Week: I keep reading that film studios are contemplating replacing writers and actors by using Artificial Intelligence to mimic their talents. Surely it would be easier and more efficient to replace executives, since they have no talent at all. --John Cleese

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm so old the first time I had sex was in the back of a chariot. --Joan Rivers

Today's Peace of History, July 21, 1925: The so-called "Monkey Trial" ended in Dayton, Tennessee, with high school teacher John T. Scopes convicted of violating a state law against teaching Darwin's theory of evolution. It was considered illegal to contradict the Bible’s description of God’s seven-day creation of the world in Genesis.

Are blueberries just sad strawberries? / Are they “roaming numerals” because they move around?

It's so hot Death Valley was officially renamed Hell.

..........I know we've come a long way..........Cat Stevens …..Where Will The Children Play

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle July 21, 2023, ePistle iNquiry. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith, Lawrence, KS

Moonbeam: Do you think God gets stoned? I think so...look at the platypus. --Robin Williams

Cost of War:

• As of 07/20/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $212.237,316,368.
• As of 07/13/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $211.698,881,407.
• As of 07/20/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,151,904,414,751.
• As of 07/13/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,150,400,460,169.
• As of 07/20/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,142,240,673,167.
• As of 07/13/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,141,655,802,945.
• As of 07/20/23 Veterans Care since 2001:$3,156,994,650,047.
• As of 07/13/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,145,593,522,812.
• As of 07/20/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,034,279,693,112.
• As of 07/13/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,033,137,692,995.
• As of 07/20/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,697,660,179,757.
• As of 07/13/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,682,488,786,207.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

I felt that one had better die fighting against injustice than to die like a dog or a rat in a trap. --Ida B Wells National Association of Colored Women

Famous Last Words: Stand still, laddy. Pink Floyd The Wall

..........Praise for them springing fresh from the world..........Cat Stevens …..Morning Has Broken

It's so hot Siri asked me to dip my phone in a glass of ice water.

Why don't grass blades cut my feet? / Is the boat at the dock because it's sick?

May Peace lead your way

And Joy be your companion

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

nAtional ePistle

 Famous First Words: I do not come here as an advocate... The Freedom Or Death speech by Emmeline Pankhurst 11/13/1913

I don't know why, but here in Austria, every diner calls their burgers “American burgers” if they're considered above average in size. --JuicyKay / Why are there no knock knock jokes about the United States. Because freedom rings.

..........As I went walking that ribbon of a highway.........Woody Guthrie …..This Land Is Your Land

I have made speeches urging women to adopt methods of rebellion such as have been adopted by men in every revolution. --Emmeline Pankhurst

It is a lovely Friday morning in July. The sky is a pale blue with only a few clouds – all of them cottony and small. With a temperature of 80°F and a relative humidity of 74%, the morning invites walks and rides. Light winds (4 mph) give a rhythm and grace to the willow branches and make the mulberry tree seem to be waving back in appreciation. Occasional bird calls ring out but the primary soundtrack sounds are motors and door slams and truck rumbles. A hawk flies over, low, looking for breakfast...a crow sits on the top of a power pole and watches while his murder roams the neighborhood. Field sunflowers wave in the wind causing yellow flicks among the moving leaves; and now a small bird with a yellow head is eating sunflower seeds. What a lovely scene out my window this morning. I take a swig of hot black tea, smile again at the moving picture outside my room, and sit down to write to you. Ahhh, it really is a wonderful world.

Have a terrific weekend, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I don't get it? This trail looked so flat on the map.

In the Netherlands, a tumor in fatty tissue is called “Amerikaenker.” --Gooi-a-weg / The United States used to have a law against loitering (sitting or standing around doing nothing) Now it's named Impersonating a Politician.

..........But our union's gonna break them slavery chains.........Woody Guthrie …..Tear The Fascists Down

Trivia Questions: Happy Bastille Day !

• ^ Who was it that actually stormed the Bastille?
• ^^ Why did they storm the Bastille?
• ^^^ Did anyone die in the raid?
• ^^^^ How many prisoners did the revolutionaries release?
• ^^^^^ What happened to the Bastille itself?

Big Hello: Khulumkha – Kokborok (India) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Sometimes, when a door closes, you need to nail a board over it. --Submitted by jm of ks

Image of the Week: Pencils are still down in the writer's strike. I found this picture of Stephen Colbert while I was watching my second (more?) month of reruns of Stephen Colbert.

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 99% of librarian vacations include a visit to at least one library. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

The largest burger in McDonald's in Israel is called the “Big America.” / Today I learned that the United States has more museums than Starbucks and McDonald's combined. FYI: Starbucks and McDonald's have a combined total of zero museums.

..........My poor feet have traveled a hot dusty road.........Woody Guthrie …..Pastures Of Plenty

Moonbeam: I believe the second half of one's life is meant to be better than the first half. The first half is finding out how you do it. And the second half is enjoying it. --Frances Lear

Question of the Week: Why not?

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Darwin Lange, of Mandan, ND: Name a sports facility in two words. (This is a general term, not a specific place.) Three consecutive letters in the first word also appear consecutively in the same order in the second word. If you reverse these three letters, you'll name something seen in this sports facility. What is it?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are. --Somerset Maugham

To “have an American” in Ireland means pleasuring yourself. (Yank – Wank) / In Canada, when you drive up to a stop sign and no one is around, so you slow down but don't actually stop before accelerating again, you're doing an “American stop”. / The United States and the rest of the world only seem to reach consensus when it's -40°.

..........Your power is turning our darkness to dawn.........Woody Guthrie …..Roll On Columbia

^ The revolutionaries who stormed the Bastille were mostly craftsmen and store owners who lived in Paris. They were members of a French social class called the Third Estate. There were around 1000 people who participated in the attack.

Almanac: It is Friday, July 14, 2023. The moon will be new on Monday (7/17) and it is in Gemini. It is International Nude Day, National Macaroni and Cheese Day, Robin Hood Days, Shark Awareness Day, and Bastille Day (France, Guiana, Polynesia, Guadel, and Martinique). Because it is the second Friday it is also Collector Car Appreciation Day and National Motorcycle Day.

Among those born on this day were Andrea del Sarto (1486), James Abbott McNeill Whistler (1834), Emmeline Pankhurst (1858), Gustav Klimt (1862), Owen Wister (1869), Ossip Zadkine (1890), Irving Stone (1903), Woodrow Wilson Guthrie (1912), Gerald Ford (1913), Frances Lear (1923), Harry Dean Stanton (1926), John Chancellor (1927), Polly Bergen (19320), Roosevelt Grier (1932), Chris Cross (1952), and Princess Victoria (1977).

On July 14 citizens of Paris stormed the Bastille prison (1789), opium was exempted from federal tariff duty (1832), postage stamps began provisionally used (NYC, 1845), machine made ice was first demonstrated (1850), the first Industrial Exposition opened (NYC, 1853), Goddard patented his first liquid fueled rocket design (1914), the first commercial air flight deplaned in Hawaii (1927), Citation became the first horse to win a million dollars (1951), Greyhouse bought Trailways for $80 million (1987), and Steve Miller got a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame (1987).

Night Sky, 7/14: After dark Altair shines in the east-southeast. It's the second-brightest star on the eastern side of the sky, after Vega high to its upper left. The third star of the Summer Triangle is Deneb, less bright, to their left. Above Altair by a finger-width at arm's length is little Tarazed, 3rd magnitude and orange, which helps to identify it. Altair is a fast-spinning, white type-A star, somewhat larger and hotter than the Sun, only 17 light-years away. It spins so fast that, using interferometry, astronomers were able in 1999 to confirm that it is widened around its equator into a very ellipsoid shape. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: The pearls of Seattle

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A dictator walks into a bar and orders everybody around. --Dave Lippman

This Week: Saturday, July 15 – National Give Something Away Day & World Youth Skills Day & St. Swithin's Day (If it rains on St. Swithin's Day, it will rain for 40 days, but if it is fair, 40 days of fair weather will follow)

Sunday, July 16 – National Ice Cream Day & World Snake Day

Night Sky, 7/16: The tail of Scorpius is low due south after dark, to the lower right of the Sagittarius Teapot. How low depends on how far north or south you live: the farther south, the higher. Look for the two stars especially close together in the tail. These are Lambda and fainter Upsilon Scorpii, known as the Cat's Eyes. They're 0.6° apart and canted at an angle; the cat is tilting its head to the right. And the cat has a bleary eye; Upsilon is fainter than Lambda (they're magnitudes 2.6 and 1.6). Both are blue-white giants, 500 and 700 light years away, respectively. Yes, the fainter one is the nearer one. Between the Cat's Eyes and the Teapot's spout are the open star clusters M6 and especially M7.

Monday, July 17 – National Hot Dog Day & Record Store Day & National Get Out of the Doghouse Day

Tuesday, July 18 – National Caviar Day & Nelson Mandela International Day

Wednesday, July 19 – Flitch Day & International Balloon Dog Day & Take Your Poet To Work Day

Night Sky, 7/19: Venus (magnitude –4.7) is the "Evening Star" dominating the low west in twilight. It's dropping sunward faster now day by day. It sets while twilight is still in progress.

Thursday, July 20 – Space Exploration Day & World Chess Day & Moon Day

In Norway, “Full Texas” (Halt Texas) is an idiom that describes a situation that's completely unhinged. / Pretty much any joke made by a foreigner is called an “American joke” in Japan. / Do Transformers get car insurance or health insurance? If they are US immigrants they get neither.

..........Stick some stamps on the top of my head.........Woody Guthrie …..Mail Myself To You

^^The Bastille was rumored to be full of political prisoners and was a symbol to many of the oppression of the king. It also had stores of gunpowder that the revolutionaries needed for their weapons.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Steal a man's wallet and he will be poor for a week. Teach him to be a writer and he will be poor for the rest of his life.

Moonbeam: I am a Ford not a Lincoln. --Gerald Ford

Video of the Week: Emmeline Pankhurst and her Daughter (1910) film (2:43)

There is something that Governments care for far more than human life, and that is the security of property, and so it is through property that we shall strike the enemy. Be militant each in your own way. I incite this meeting to rebellion. --Emmeline Pankhurst

In Russian, roller coasters are called “American Mountains.” (In French, Spanish, and Italian, they're called “Russian Mountains”. / In Japan, an “American coffee” is plain and weak black brewed coffee. / If you speak 3 languages, you're trilingual. If you speak 2 languages, you're bilingual. If you speak 1 language you're from the United States.

..........Tell me, what were their names? Tell me, what were their names.........Woody Guthrie …..The Sinking Of The Reuben James

^^^ Around 100 of the revolutionaries were killed during the fighting. After surrendering, Governor de Launay and three of his officers were killed by the crowd.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Because I can no longer see it, the washing-up ceases to exist! Who said philosophy had no practical uses? --Submitted by Philosophy Matters

Weird Word of the Week: Embolalia – Automatic speech; verbalization that occurs without conscious effort by the individual, such as repetitions and filler words. https://www.thoughtco.com/embolalia-speech-term-1690644

Dragon of the Week: Quox, a dragon of Oz

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Prevent a dog or cat from shedding all over the house. Dampen a sheet of Bounty Paper Towel and run it over the animal. The paper towel collects the loose hair. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bounty2.html

Brass knuckles in France are called “poing américain.” / Potlucks are called “American parties” in the Netherlands. --jugglerO / The United States doesn't use the metric system because the founding fathers had a foot fetish.

...........Comes a-rumbling down the canyon to meet that salty tide.........Woody Guthrie …..Grand Coulee Dam

^^^^ There were 7 prisoners in the Bastille on 14 July, 1789. They included 4 forgers, an Irish “lunatic”, a deviant young aristocrat imprisoned at the behest of his family**, and a man who once conspired to kill King Louis XV. **My source claimed that the Marques de Sade had been there earlier but was removed for shouting out the windows at people passing by. So this would have been some other deviant young aristocrat. Other sources suggest he was still in the Bastille at the time.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Thanks for introducing me to minimalism. It's the least you could do.--Submitted by ma of va

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Imaginarium 2023 (14-16, Louisville, KY) Your Imagination Is The Foundation. https://www.entertheimaginarium.com/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Data Science And Social Justice (20-28, Providence, RI) https://icerm.brown.edu/programs/ep-23-dssj/

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Race Track --> car

If you're “american style” in Chile, you're going commando. -DoveMagnet / The Dutch recently started referring to elections where the debate is media-focused, and not about the policy but about the person, as “American elections”. / The difference between a computer and a citizen of the United States is that the American doesn't have trouble shooting.

..........I've been ridin' in blind passengers, dead-enders, kickin' up cinders.........Woody Guthrie …..Hard Travelin'

^^^^^ Over the next five months, the Bastille was destroyed and turned into a pile of ruins. Today, the site of the Bastille is a square in Paris called the Place de la Bastille. There is a monumental tower in the center of the square commemorating the event.

Quote of the Week: You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete. --Buckminister Fuller

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Just for a moment, think of how many gay hairdressers have done Christian weddings beautifully. --Submitted by 98%

Today's Peace of History, July 14, 1917: 16 women from the National Women’s Party were arrested while picketing the White House demanding universal women’s suffrage; they were charged with obstructing traffic. ~~This action is dramatized in the movie Iron Jawed Angels.

In Britain, big refrigerators with side-by-side doors are known as “American fridges.” / A bedroom with a shower in it is an “American bedroom” in Malta. “No doors or walls separating it from the bedroom or anything.” The toilet and sink had their own room down the hall. / The United States seems to have successfully prevented a second wave of Corona by keeping the first one going.

..........You can't scare me, I'm sticking to the union.........Woody Guthrie …..Union Maid

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle July 14, 2023, nAtional ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: We are bound together by the most powerful of all ties, our fervent love for freedom and independence, which knows no homeland but the human heart. --Gerald Ford

Cost of War:

• As of 07/13/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $211.698,881,407.
• As of 07/06/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $211,125,827,702.
• As of 07/13/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,150,400,460,169.
• As of 07/06/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,148,799,841,293.
• As of 07/13/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,141,655,802,945.
• As of 07/06/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,141,033,309,631.
• As of 07/13/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,145,593,522,812.
• As of 07/06/23 Veterans Care since 2001:$3,133,459,328,426.
• As of 07/13/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,033,137,692,995.
• As of 07/06/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,031,922,340,901.
• As of 07/13/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,682,488,786,207.
• As of 07/06/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,666,343,162,724.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Trust in God, She will provide. --Emmeline Pankhurst

Famous Last Words: "I've been promised bail, ladies and gentlemen, by my office. This is John Chancellor, somewhere in custody. --Chancellor was the NBC political correspondent covering the 1964 Republican Convention.

..........So long, it's been good to know yuh.........Woody Guthrie …..Dusty Old Dust

Multiple-choice questions are called “American questions” in Israel. --AaronRamsay / Switzerland has Doritos with “Cool American” flavor. / A Canadian visits the United States and gets held at gunpoint by a stranger. The stranger says, “Give me all your money and I'll let you live.” The Canadian replies gleefully, “Oh, You must be what they call a doctor.”

May Peace fill your heart

And Joy fill your mind

prairie mama

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