Orange you glad it's the ePistle

 Famous First Words: To all to whom these presents shall come... British Patent 13880 (1845) ~~The elastic band aka rubber band

Happy St Patrick's Day. Ireland is an example of how the followers of the God of Love treat each other. So green for the man afraid of snakes and for the other side, Orange. The Orange stopped halfway across the road because she ran out of juice. // The fake tourist attraction, Barney Stone, is an actual shamrock.

..........And the hoot owl cries over everything.........Celtic Thunder …..A Place in the Choir

We reaffirm our total and absolute commitment to exclusively democratic and peaceful means of resolving differences on political issues, and our opposition to any use or threat of force by others for any political purpose, whether in regard to this agreement or otherwise. --The Belfast Agreement 1998

It is a cold (24°F) Friday morning. The sun is shining on a perfectly blue sky without cloud or bird. There is no evidence of wind, no moving branches or blowing snow. Snow covers most of the ground; well, it's covered with snow not quite deep enough to hide the tuffs of grass or tiny hills or objects left on the lawn. All the rooftops are solid white. Unseen birds sings lauds to the rising sun and the beautiful, still bare trees. The birds do not show themselves for reason I do not understand. Puck lies sleeping in his bed occasionally snorting in his sleep as a counterpoint to the unseen bird song. I'm sipping creamy nuttin' but chocolate decaf and staring out my back window. I light a stick of sandalwood incense to drown out the smell of stuffiness and night. The day looks brighter minute by minute, the relentless new sun popping cyan from the house next to Bruno's and the darker blue of the storage shed. Stuck to my window just below the line where the blind stops, there is a sticker of a badminton shuttlecock from the KC art museum. That is the little bit of whimsey that this morning needed to be perfect. Dia duit, my loves.

Dia duit, ePistliers – green and/or orange ~~pronounced Dee-a Gwit. A way of saying hello that literal translates to goddess or god be with you

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Not a single kid has died in a mass reading, yet they're banning books instead of guns. --Submitted by gr of oh

Oranges rarely go blind. It's all that vitamin see. // That frog that jumped into the pot of gold is called a leap-prechaun.

..........One for all and all together.........Celtic Thunder …..Ireland's Call

Trivia Questions: This is the anniversary of the day Elvis bought Graceland.

• ^ How much did Elvis pay for Graceland?
• ^^ How many televisions were in the “television room” at Graceland?
• ^^^ What year did Elvis acquire the famous pink Cadillac?
• ^^^^ What folk song title was also the name of the stables at Graceland?
• ^^^^^ How many visitors does Graceland get per year?

Big Hello: Salut, Bouônjour – Jèrriais (Spoken on the Channel Island of Jersey) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I screamed into the abyss and it echoed back: this could have been an email. --Submitted by Philosophy Matters

Image of the Week: Thomas Eakins' “Sailing” is being shipped to KC from Philadelphia on temporary loan due to a lost Super Bowl bet.

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 48% of library security systems are simply a lady at the front desk giving everyone a stink eye. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

It's Naval Oranges that prevent scurvy. // You can tell if a leprechaun likes your joke because he's Dublin over with laughter.

..........You know, she beat me at darts and then she beat me at pool.........Celtic Thunder …..The Gal way Gal

Moonbeam: We need, in every community, a group of angelic troublemakers. --Bayard Rustin

Meditation of the Week: What is knowledge? --Husserl

Puzzle of the Week: This week's challenge comes from the screenwriter and comedian Mike Reiss. Name something scary in two words. Five of the letters are vowels, which are all the same. And the consonants are all Roman numerals. What scary thing is this? NPR Sunday Puzzle 3/12/23

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Coffee is just goth water. --Friedrich Nietzsche --Submitted by Philosophy Matters

Someone told me “nothing rhymes with orange”. I said, “no it doesn't. It rhymes with something.” // Leprechauns have money sitting around in pots but still can't ride the roller coaster at Disneyland.

Do not seize the day. This will startle the day and may cause it to become aggressive and give you a nasty bite. (1) --Submitted by INRITH

..........But laces in geranium pots I never saw before.........Celtic Thunder …..Seven Nights Drunk

^ Elvis paid $102,500 for Graceland.

Almanac: It is Friday, March 17, 2023. The moon went into the last quarter on Wednesday (3/15) and is in Capricorn. It is St Patrick's Day and world wide it is World Maritime Day.

Among those born on this day were James IV (Scotland, 1473), George Ohm (1787), James Bridger (1804), Gottlieb Daimler (1834), Kate Greenaway (1846), Frederic Ayers (1876), Gloria Swanson (1899), Bayard Rustin (1910), Nat King Cole (1919), Stephen Dodgson (1924), James B. Irwin (1930), Tom Mattingly II (1936), Rudolf Nureyev (1938), Edward Harper (1941), Paul Kantner (1942), Danny DeVito (1944), John Sebastian (1944), William F. Gibson (1948), Patrick Duffy (1949), Kurt Russell (1951), Scott Gorham (1951), Gary Sinise (1955), Rob Lowe (1964), and Mia Hamm (1972).

On Patrick was carried off to Ireland (432), Magellan landed on the Philippines (1521), France invaded Flanders (1537), the first St. Patrick's Day parades was held in NYC (1762), Britain repealed the Stamp Act (1766), Texas abolished slavery (1836), the rubber band was patented (1845), the National Association of Professional Base-Ball players was organized (1871), Eleanor married Franklin Roosevelt (1905), the Camp Fire Girls organized (1912), Tsar Nicolas II abdicated (1917), O'Neill's Welded premiered (1924), the US failed to sign the League of Nations disarmament treaty (1927), the National Gallery of Art opened (1941), Element 98 was announced (Californium, 1950), Elvis bought Graceland (1957), the Dalai Lama fled Tibet (1959), Bill Cousy played his last NBA game (1963), and Golda Meir became Israel's fourth prime minister (1969).

Night Sky, 3/17: Spring arrives very soon (the equinox is on the 20th), so Orion stands upright high in the south-southwest as the stars come out. He's about to start his long spring tilt and departure down toward the west — as the hours pass in the evening, and as the weeks pass with the advancing season. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: In order to fly, all one must do is simply miss the ground --Douglas Adams

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Calling yourself “O'Possum” doesn't make you Irish, Bob.

This Week: Saturday, March 18 - Awkward Moments Day & National Biodiesel Day & National Quilting Day

Sunday, March 19 – International Read To Me Day & National Backyard Day & National Poultry Day

Night Sky, 3/19: The "twin" heads of the Gemini figures are fraternal twins at best. Pollux is visibly brighter than Castor and pale orange. And as for their physical nature, they're not even the same species. Pollux is a single orange giant. Castor is a binary pair of two smaller, hotter, white main-sequence stars, a fine double in amateur telescopes.

Monday, March 20 – Great American Meat Out Day & World Frog Day & World Sparrow Day

Tuesday, March 21 – International Day of Forests and the Tree & Memory Day & World Poetry Day

Wednesday, March 22 – International Day of the Seal & National Goof-off Day & Ramadan begins

Night Sky, 3/22: Mars is in eastern Taurus, heading east against the stars toward Gemini. Look for it high in the southwestern sky in early evening, lower in the west later.

Thursday, March 23 – Atheist Day & National Puppy Day & World Meteorological Day

Orange you sorry you saw this pun? //That piper's ego is go big he plays bragpipes.

Instead approach the day calmly without making eye contact, pet it gently, and slowly enfold it in a careful embrace. (2) --Submitted by INRITH

..........'S liom Corcaigh da mhéid é, dhá thaobh a' ghleanna 's Tír Eoghain.........Celtic Thunder …..Come by the Hills (where the rivers run clear, and bracken is gold in the sun)

^^ Graceland's television room had 3 tv sets.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Forget pot of gold! After all this green beer, I'm lookin' for a pot of porcelain! (Skip to the loo) Maxine's Crabby Road

Moonbeam: When an individual is protesting society's refusal to acknowledge his dignity as a human being, his very act of protest confers dignity on him. --Bayard Rustin

Video of the Week: Lucy and the Candy Factory (2:58) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkQ58I53mjk

Retro Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: They're going to hold Sunday's debate without a studio audience. They're just going to pipe in a laugh track. From 3/12/20 --Submitted by mm of ia

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Rick Moranis was fired from the role of Carl the janitor in The Breakfast Club because he insisted on playing the janitor with a cartoonishly thick Russian accent, fake gold teeth, and a gigantic ring of keys. --Negin Farsad Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 3/14/23

...the right to seek constitutional change by peaceful and legitimate means... --The Belfast Agreement 1998

Did you hear about the orange boxer? He got beaten to a pulp. // Never iron a four leaf clover; that's really pressing your luck.

If the day shows any signs of resistance to being engaged with, it is likely to turn on you. Back off and return to bed. (final) --Submitted by INRITH

..........So I'll wait for the white rose that's waitin' for me.........Celtic Thunder …..Mountains of Mourne

^^^ The pink Cadillac is a 1955 Fleetwood Sixty Special.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Lets drink until bagpipes sound good.

Weird Word of the Week: Wittol – Half-witted person … diluted over time from...somebody who knew he was a cuckold, but especially somebody who was untroubled by the situation. http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-wit1.htm ~~The word actually went through quite a bit to get to the cuckold bit. It's an interesting etymology.

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Eliminate static cling from pantyhose. Rub a damp, used sheet of Bounce over the hose. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bounce.html

Oranges always wear suntan lotion because they peel so easily. //Do you know why we wear shamrocks on St Patrick's Day? It's because real rock are too heavy.

...........Mush-a ring dum-a do dum-a da.........Celtic Thunder …..Whiskey in the Jar

^^^^ The stables at Graceland were named House of the Rising Sun.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Life is too short to fold fitted sheets. --Submitted by ss of kc

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Collective Con (17-19, Jacksonville, FL) North Florida's Premier Anime...yada, yada, yada... https://www.collectivecon.com/ ~~Actually, Dallas is hosting the Texas Furry Fiesta (16-19). The Theme is Attack of the Jackafluffies https://www.furryfiesta.org/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: International Conference on Advanced Collaborative and Applications: (13-17, Barcelona Spain) The new approach to sensor technology. https://10times.com/sensor-technologies-applications

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Voodoo Doll

I'm afraid of turning orange. Hopefully, it's just a pigment of my imagination. // Leprechauns have their own ComicCon. It's called Lepre-Con

..........Your mountains stand tall in their glory.........Celtic Thunder …..My Land

^^^^^ Graceland get more than 600,000 visitors a year.

My Own Writing of the Week: The most memorable of the boys'o'college, was a musician I call the Maestro. He was a couple of years younger than I and had taught himself to play banjo during the summer before he came away to school. He courted me truly by sitting in the front hallway of my building playing and singing to me. If men had been allow past the foyer, he would have courted me in the front parlor; then we could have been in a Victorian novel.

I lived in an old Victorian house that was likely built to take in students. It was very near campus and had several stories and rooms everywhere tiny kitchens here and there and sleeping porches out back. There was even a small apartment in the basement. But the main floor was Mrs. Wright's house. The vestibule was small but it had a settee built into the staircase that ran up the north side of the house. The settee was there so one could sit down and take off or put on galoshes before or after sloshing around in the snow.

It was "approved housing". This meant that it had the Dean of Women's Office Seal of Guarantee that coeds would be safe there! I am not sure what the university meant by safe but I doubt it had any resemblance to my definition. The guarantee was enforced by requiring that women be home by 10:30 on weekdays and that men not be allowed past the front hall. And to this very day the university never seems to think of locking the boys up early.

So the Maestro and I would sit on the little cushion with the ugly cushion while everyone else in the house trooped out on their Friday night dates. One night my roommate and I dressed me in a sari and I met him in red and white and we sat and he sang and played. A couple of times he brought his guitar instead of his banjo. It didn't matter to me, I loved the music and the time we spent.

Most of all, I loved it when he just sat and played all by himself or with his roommate on guitar; this often happened in the lobby of the boys dorm where he lived. They would play riffs and laugh saying that it was a funny musical combination; I could never hear it, of course. I think I liked it so much because he was at peace himself then and at peace with the world.

From Always Surrender by Christine Smith

Quote of the Week: CPAC stands for “Clowns Periodically Assembling in Convention Centers”. --Jimmy Kimmel

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Maybe we should regulate railroads and banks instead of uteruses and drag shows. --Submitted by Kansas Indivisible

Today's Peace of History, March 17, 1966. Cesar Chavez and the National Farm Workers Association left Delano for Sacramento, the capital of California, a 340-mile march which would take three weeks.

Oranges: They're all about the peel good factor. // I tried real Irish dancing for a while. It was a jig mistake.

..........From Bantry Bay down to Derry Quay.........Celtic Thunder …..Star of the County Down

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle March 17, 2023, Orange You Glad it's the ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Son of Quote of the Week: March Madness is the only place where you hear, “Kansas is advancing”. --Bill Maher

Moonbeam: If we desire a society without discrimination, then we must not discriminate against anyone in the process of building this society. If we desire a society that is democratic, then democracy must become a means as well as an end. --Bayard Rustin

Cost of War:

• As of 03/16/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $202,254,024,385.
• As of 03/09/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $201,677,824,727.
• As of 03/16/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,124,020,056,820.
• As of 03/09/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,122,410,652,165
• As of 03/16/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,131, 396,724,543.
• As of 03/09/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,130,771,094,266.
• As of 03/16/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,945,624,785,256.
• As of 03/09/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,933,423,829,817.
• As of 03/16/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,013,108,468,571.
• As of 03/09/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,011,886,212,903.
• As of 03/16/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,416,409,332,489.
• As of 03/09/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,400,172,753,431.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

The achievement of a peaceful and just society would be the true memorial to the victims of violence. --The Belfast Agreement 1998

Famous Last Words: We love. --Eugene O'Neill Welded

..........Thank God and we're homeward bound.........Celtic Thunder …..Home from the Sea

Look, It's not like I don't know these orange jokes are unappeeling. // What's Irish and stays out all night? Paddy O'Furniture.

May Peace pace your rhythm

And Joy set your tune

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: Happy World Maritime Day