Ye Olde ePistle

 Famous First Words: There's a bright golden haze on the meadow... Rodgers and Hammerstein O, What a Beautiful Morning from Oklahoma

Happy Hug a Medievalist Day! Authur''s round table had a spy named Sir Veillance. / Did you know that medieval letter carriers wore chain mail.

..........We reveal the things hidden.........composer unknown ….. Attende Domine (A Gregorian Chant, 900s)

March 31, 1991: Before dawn on Easter, five Plowshares activists boarded the USS Gettysburg, an Aegis-equipped Cruiser docked at the Bath Iron Works in Bath, Maine. They proceeded to hammer and pour blood on covers of vertical launching systems for cruise missiles.

It is a windy (19 mph) Friday morning. The now risen sun is chasing the thick cloud cover northward at great speed and the 67°F manages to feel muggy even in March. Majestic cloud banks are heaped in the sky and are constantly changing shape in the wind. All tree branches – the ones with buds bursting out and the still bare branches – are dancing a spring hula. Earth is greening up and clusters of flower colors are scattered across it. Birdsong is busy...tote that twig, build that nest...and they flutter about the yard looking focused and determined. The air smells of spring, of dampness, of new growth, of flowers. I have returned from the doctor's office – regular check-up. ~~good news, I'm still alive. But my coffee is finally ready and I'm going to go doctor-up a cup before I continue. What a lovely day.

Hope the weekend finds you, healthy as a trout, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I am going to be a philosopher. By the time I grow up, robots will be doing everything else. --Submitted by Philosophy Matters

Last Minute Funniest Things I Read of the Week: Congrats to Donald Trump on Finally Winning a Majority of Votes. --New Republic / Orange Is the New Inmate / That J in Donald J Trump now stands for Jail --Jimmy Kimmel

The townies called the Vikings Rain because they kept storming the city. / I read a rumor that King Arthur had a young man who helped him with his armor and his horse's armor. But the boy, whose name is unknown, got lost on a hunting trip up north. I googled “lost medieval servant boy” but the result was “Page cannot be found”.

..........Peacocks wandered aimlessly..........Crosby, Stills & Nash …..Guinevere

Trivia Questions: Wow, Daylight Saving Time in the US is 105 years old

• ^ Which government department was in charge of Time Zones originally?
• ^^ What reason was given for establishing Daylight Savings Time?
• ^^^ What government agency took over Time Zones after WWI?
• ^^^^ What states DON'T follow daylight savings time?
• ^^^^^ How effective has DST been in saving energy?

Big Hello: MeHДbt (Mendvt) – Kalmyk (Mongolia, China, Russia) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: So will schoolboys in Florida be blindfolded to go to the bathroom? --Submitted by sm of k ~~I have to admit that I have enjoyed the jokes...Michelangelo's David in a cute red frock with a plunging neckline and God giving Adam tighty-whities on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.

Image of the Week: This is a fake picture of Trump running away from the police. ~~This is one of a series. https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/fake-ai-images-of-putin-trump-being-arrested-spread-online

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: At any given moment 62% of librarians are wearing library themed clothing they received over the holidays. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

The Knight who collected taxes for King Arthur was named Sir Charge. / The ten-year-old peasant boy approached the village priest and complained of melancholy and debilitating sadness. The priest comforted him pointing out it was just a midlife crisis.

..........Qual io mi sia, per la mia lingua s' oda...........Philippe Verdelot …..Italia Mia Bench' el parlar (A Madrigal, 1500s)

Moonbeam: A state is better governed which has few laws, and those laws strictly observed. --Rene Descartes

Meditation of the Week: What is the mark of truth? Rene Descartes

Puzzle of the Week: Name two well-known commercial products in five letters whose names are anagrams of each other. One product is something you'd probably see in your bathroom. The second is more likely to be in your refrigerator. What products are these? --NPR Sunday Puzzle 3/26/23

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: There is a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom pothole on Williams Way if anyone is looking.

This is an actual medieval joke from 14th century Florence: A Florentine had in his home a young man who instructed his children in the elements of knowledge. After a long stay, the young tutor felt so much at home that he had in turn the housemaid, the nurse, and finally the mistress herself. When the master of the house, who was a jovial fellow discovered this, he summoned the young man to his private chamber and said: "I find it unmannerly of you, sir, that in taking your pleasure of my entire household you have made an exception of me."

..........What merriment is the king pursuing tonight..........Richard Harris …..Wonder What the King Is Doing Tonight

^ The government didn’t institute time zones until 1918, with the passage of the Standard Time Act of 1918. At that time, the Interstate Commerce Commission, which regulated railroads at the time, was put in charge of time zones.

Almanac: It is Friday, March 31, 2023. The moon went into the first quarter on Wednesday (3/28) and is in Leo. It is Bunsen Burner Day, Cesar Chavez Day, International Hug A Medievalist Day, International Transgender Day of Visibility, National Prom Day, and National "She's Funny That Way" Day.

Among those born on this day were Rene Descartes (1596), Andrew Marvell (1621), Joseph Haydn (1732), Edward FitzGerald & Nikolai Gogol (1809), John LaFarge (1835), Karl Bonhoeffer (1868), Arthur Griffith (1872), Arthur Godfrey (1903), Henry Morgan (1915), Leo Buscaglia (1924), John Fowles (1926), Cesar Chavez (1927), Liz Clayborne (1929), Shirley Jones (1933), Richard Chamberlain (1935), Marge Piercy (1936), John Jakes (1938), Barney Frank (1940), Christopher Walken (1943), Gabe Kaplan (1946), Cesar Trujillo (1947), Al Gore, Jr. (1948), Rhea Perlman (1948), and Ewan McGregor (1971).

On March thirty Ceasefire signed by France & Spain (1504), Goethe's "Egmont" premiered (1796), Quebec & Montreal were incorporated (1831), Wabash, IN became the first town lit entirely by electricity (1880), daylight saving was first used in the US (1918), Ford unveiled the V-8 engine (1932), the Civilian Conservation Corps were formed (1933), Oklahoma opened on Broadway (1943), Glass Menagerie premiered (1945), Jimi Hendrix burned his first guitar (1967), and Trump purchased Eastern Northeast Shuttle (1989).

Night Sky, 3/31: There comes a time in late evening now when Arcturus, the bright Spring Star climbing in the east, stands just as high as Sirius, the brighter Winter Star descending in the southwest (for sky-watchers at mid-northern latitudes). Their heights will balance sometime around 10 or 11 pm daylight-saving time, depending on both your latitude and longitude. These are the two brightest stars in the sky at the time. But Capella is a very close runner-up to Arcturus! Spot it high in the northwest. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: You don't find a style. A style finds you. --Keith Richards

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun – is a congressman with a Spine. --Submitted by gr of oh

This Week: Saturday, April 1 – All Fools Day aka April Fools Day & International Pillow Fight Day

Sunday, April 2 – Dictionary Day & National Ferret Day & Palm Sunday & Reconciliation Day

Night Sky, 4/2: The Moon forms another nearly isosceles triangle with Regulus and Algieba, but now it's lower left and farther away from them. The huge, bright Winter Hexagon is still in view early after dark, filling the sky to the southwest and west. It's the sky's biggest widely-recognized asterism.

Monday, April 3 – Don't Go To Work Unless It's Fun Day & Fan Dance Day & Weed Out Hate Day

Tuesday, April 4 – Vitamin D Day & World Rat Day

Wednesday, April 5 – Christine's Birthday (4/5/44) & Go For Broke Day & Passover begins

Night Sky, 4/5: Mercury and Jupiter are very low in the glow of sunset. Look due west about a half hour after sunset, far to the lower right of Venus. Binoculars will help. Jupiter is magnitude –2.0 and Mercury is not far behind: magnitude –1.5 on Friday March 24th, fading to –1.1 over the next seven days.

Thursday, April 6 – Charlie the Tuna Day & Tartan Day & National Fun At Work Day

In medieval times, people used to attach a lamp to a horse when riding at night. They called it saddle light navigation. / Young Lucian was so full of confidence they named him Sir Tin.

..........Thirty pieces of silver, our supper to buy.........Unknown …..Judas (A Childe Ballad/ 1200s)

^^ In 1918, the agency started the first instance of daylight saving time in the US to help conserve fuel and power during World War I.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Cartoonist Supply Store: No, for some reason we're all out of Jailbird Orange. Sorry.

Moonbeam: The reading of all good books is like a conversation with the finest minds of past centuries. --Rene Descartes

Video of the Week: Jimi Hendrix destroying his guitar: https://www.historyvshollywood.com/video/jimi-hendrix-guitar-burning/

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: French protest is so classy. You should taste their Molotov Beaujolais. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 3/26/23

March 31, 1985: Throughout Australia, 300,000 demonstrated in peace and anti-nuclear rallies.

The tournament knight who was caught doping replied, “I was just getting my lance arm strong.” / Lady Guinevere had a cousin who excelled at busting ghosts. Eventually she opened a restaurant off the palace courtyard. It was decorated with items from her many conquests. She called it Wight Castle.

..........I will be your knight in shining armor.........Rolling Stones …..Emotional Rescue

^^^ The 1966 founding of the Transportation Department led to the current version of daylight saving time. The dates for when the US springs forward (the second Sunday of March) into daylight saving time or falls back (the first Sunday of November) to standard time are enshrined in federal law and were most recently changed in 2005.

Weird Word of the Week: Zoilism – slovenly and unhygienic. If I were to do more than hint at their hydrophobic habits, their pulicidal, piscivorous, and even phtheirophagous propensities, I should call down, not undeservedly, the Zoilism of our correspondents. --1863 http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-zoi1.htm

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: We can't say “look on the bright side” anymore. Because it's offensive to vampires and people with hangovers. --Submitted by bc of tx

Dragon of the Week: Northumberland Bestiary c. 1250-60 CE

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Dust a car dashboard. Shine the dashboard with a clean, used sheet of Bounce. The anti-static elements in the Bounce will help repel dust from the dashboard. https://www.
wackyuses.com/wacky/bounce.html

I like my wine like I like my medieval cities – fortified. / What caused the Dark Ages anyway? Smog?

...........Nuair is crua don chailleach, caithfidh sí rith..........Unknown …..Dinnseanchas (the oldest known Irish ballad) ~~When the old woman is hard pressed she must run.

^^^^ Arizona and Hawaii have exempted themselves from the time change. 11 states have passed laws to observe permanent daylight saving time: Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Utah, Colorado, Maine, Delaware, South Carolina, Tennessee, Florida, and Louisiana.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Wishing good luck to all those micro-breweries that are just finishing their Easter Hippity Hops beer.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: WhimsyCon (3/31-4/2, Denver, CO) Steampunk and Costuming Convention https://www.whimsycon.org/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Isothermal Expo (3/31-4/1, Columbus, NC) 40 interactive exhibits covering every aspect of science and technology... https://www.isothermal.edu/expo/

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Nivea and Évian

Sir Adipose's horse was unruly and stubborn. He was a real knightmare. / I'm in a Medieval-themed metal band called Bards of Prey.

..........And he won the heart of a lady.........Leo MaGuire …..Whistling Gypsy Rover

^^^^^ In 1974, a Transportation Department daylight saving time study found no conclusive difference in energy usage, crime, travel times, or trade during the time shift. In 2008, an Energy Department study showed energy consumption dropped 0.02% due to daylight saving time. The study also showed no “measurable impact” on vehicle gas consumption. An academic study cited in a Congressional Research Service report found evidence of some increase in heart attacks during transitions to or out of daylight saving time.

My Own Writing of the Week: Stringman and I were an item for several years. Even before we became an item, he taught me about the "golly gee whiz" phenomenon in science fiction. He took me to my first science fiction convention (BYOB 5, KCMO, 1975). He wasn't a writer but he was a voracious reader. He was my comfort and my entertainment. He remained a friend through everything, even moving on; he remains a friend to this day.

I met him when he was a graduate student. He had been a philosophy undergraduate and he introduced me to Husserl and phenomenology and other pre-post-modernist philosophies. He ended up in science as an electron microscope tech.

He became a mushroom hunter and joined with other fungus-heads and finally, wrote a book on identifying mushrooms in the area. I went on forays from time to time but lacked the essential drive to find the next wonder smut. I do have a much clearer picture of the diversity of the species and appreciate the beauty and flavor that is out there. I did not find an answer to the question: why do we have no problem going to a grocery store and buying mushrooms grown and harvested by total strangers but we are suspicious of any mushroom given to us by a dear friend?

We played games, board games, card games, and pen and pencil games. Once a friend gave him two decks of cards that were stamped onto tiles - like dominoes. We made up games to play with them. He was also a master of string figures and taught adults and children alike to make them. He read anthropology journals to find descriptions of string figures displayed by tribes and peoples in obscure places and times. He and a friend did a stand up 'comedy' routine...with string. Every couple of years, I get out my string - it hangs near my computer - to remember a few of the old tricks, 2 diamonds, 3 diamonds, 4 diamonds aka Jacob's Ladder. My favorite is still lightning. 1,000 diamonds was the standard trick still to be learned.

But we played no strange and exciting bedroom games. I remember his hesitant, often vulnerable and self-conscious body warm near mine. I remember listening to his heart beat. And mostly I remember his nearly noiseless acceptance of favors. My most intimate memory was of head gone wrong and I will speak no more of it.

We ran in a crowd that all learned to smoke dope about the same time. Come to think of it, we as a group of 5 or 6 played a lot of weed games when we first began. The Maestro and my first husband were also part of the group. The conversation was always engaging and intelligent and sometimes trippy.

When Stringman was relighting a roach on a clip, he would stand and look in the mirror on his wall to avoid setting fire to his mustache. He and I put together our very first dope co-op. We pooled money from 4 or 5 people and bought a pound plus of locally grown weed. I remember it heaped on an open newspaper in the middle of the floor. We sat cross legged beside it and laughed straight for at least five minutes. Gosh, he was fun.

His delicious memory is also due in no small part to his magnificent homemade bread.

He put up with so much, bless his heart. After we moved on, I wrote a long, mournful poem about the affair. But he really changed my life in big ways. I write to him after every convention and thank him for taking me to my first.

The Philosopher From: Always Surrender by Christine Smith

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Today I am multi-slacking.

Today's Peace of History: March 31, 1968: President Lyndon Johnson announced he would not seek re-election, ordered a partial bombing halt in Vietnam, and appointed W. Averell Harriman to seek peace negotiations with North Vietnam.

There is an unpublished story from Canterbury tales; it's about a flying Chaucer. / When the Borg landed in the Medieval town of Krazville, it assimilated everyone while broadcasting: Resistance Is Feudal.

..........Sumer Is Icumen In..........Unknown …..Sumer Is Icumen In (England, mid 1200s)

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle March 31, 2023, Ye Olde ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith, Lawrence, KS

Moonbeam: Divide each difficulty into as many parts as is feasible and necessary to resolve it. --Rene Descartes

Cost of War:

• As of 03/30/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $203,336,658,942.
• As of 03/23/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $202,784,849,670.
• As of 03/30/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,127,043,851,367.
• As of 03/23/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,125,502,653,762.
• As of 03/30/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,132,572,648,633.
• As of 03/23/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,131,973,300,416.
• As of 03/30/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,968,543,686,817.
• As of 03/23/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,956,861,298,849.
• As of 03/30/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,015,403,872,934.
• As of 03/23/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,014,233,747,776.
• As of 03/30/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,446,902,573,015.
• As of 03/23/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,431,358,256,147.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

March 31, 1888: The National Council of Women of the U.S. was organized by Susan B. Anthony, Clara Barton, Julia Ward Howe, and Sojourner Truth, among others. It is the oldest non-sectarian women’s organization in the country.

Famous Last Words: ...and so good-bye. --Tennessee Williams Glass Menagerie

..........the folk not noblessly obliged.........Vanessa Redgrave …..What Do The Simple Folk Do

There was a medieval castle set aside just for stoners. It was called Fort Wenty. / There were lots of vegetarians in Medieval times. More often than not, they were called “peasants”.

May Peace keep your castle

And Joy keep your keep

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Will's ePistle

Famous First Words: One of those no-neck monsters... Tennessee Williams Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

Welcome to Shakespeare Week (20-26). Beware, here's what he may have thought of you. Thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows. (Troilus & Cressida Act 2, Scene 1) / Thou whoreson zed, thou unnecessary letter! (King Lear Act 2, Scene 2)

..........Nahe mir nicht mit der wutenden Nahe!.........Maria Callas …..Ewig war ich 4/7/35 ~~Tonight's artist all appeared on the Major Bowes' Original Amateur Hour on the dates given. I did not find what song they performed on the show.

War is only a cowardly escape from the problems of peace. --Thomas Mann

It is a cloudy Friday morning. 39°F is chilly by itself but with a 12 mph wind it's downright cold. The sky is gray with streaks of what may be blue sky or may be darker gray clouds. Crows and other birds are out in force filling the sky with movement and the air with birdsong. Grass is turning from yellow brown back to green in spots around the yard; and buds are beginning to pop up on tree branches. Spring keeps visiting but has yet to establish residence. Puck and Veronica have both been outside and now are sleeping like living logs. Puck's sleep is restless and filled with snorts. Veronica sleeps silently, still sleek and beautiful in stillness. I sit at my computer sipping Nuttin' But Kisses decaf and staring out the window waiting for spring to arrive and boost the temperature up a few notches … Too bad, instead I light an incense cone to make it smell like the missing spring flowers and sit down to write to you. Peace and quiet and you, you can't beat that.

May your weekend be filled with lots of money and lots of friends, ePistlers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: You have to inject yourself with a little fantasy every day in order not to die of reality. --Ray Bradbury

Thou leathern-jerkin, crystal-button, knot-pated, agatering, puke-stocking, caddis-darter, smooth-tongue, Spanish pouch! (Henry IV Part 1 Act 2, Scene 4) / Thy sin's not accidental, but a trade. (Measure for Measure Act 3, Scene 1)

..........I face it all and I stood tall.........Frank Sinatra …..My Way 9/8/35

Trivia Questions: The automobile is 137 years old. Happy Birthday

• ^ What was the very first car sold in the United States?
• ^^ How much did that first car sell for?
• ^^^ More or less, how many cars were sold that first year?
• ^^^^ When did Henry Ford switch to assembly line production of cars?
• ^^^^^ How many cars were** sold in the US in 2022?

**The g-mail grammar check wants me to change were to will be.

Big Hello: Godaw – Jutish aka Jutlandic https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Never put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket. --Submitted by FLHA

Image of the Week: Lawrence, KS: St Patrick's Day Parade 2023

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 34% of librarians wanted to have a Pi day program but library administration said it was irrational https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Thou are unfit for any place but hell. (Richard III Act 1, Scene 2) / Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon. (Timon of Athens Act 4, Scene 3)

..........Keep my love locked in your heart.........Teresa Brewer …..Till I Waltz Again With You 10/20/35

Moonbeam: We don't stop dancing because we grow too old, we grow old because we choose to stop dancing. --Arthur Murray

Meditation of the Week: What makes us human?

Puzzle of the Week: Name two countries that have consonyms that are nationalities of other countries. In each case, the consonants in the name of the country are the same consonants in the same order as those in the nationality of another country. No extra consonants can appear in either name. The letter Y isn't used.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you ever feel worthless, remember, there are people with theological degrees. --Submitted by MMS

Thou art as fat as butter. (Henry IV Part 1 Act 2, Scene 4) / Thou dost infect mine eyes. (Richard III Act 2, Scene 2)

..........And if I fell under the spell of your call..........Frank Sinatra …..All Or Nothing At All 12/3/36

^ The first US car sold was a Winton bought by Robert Allison in Port Carbon, PA. https://clevelandhistorical.org/items/show/267

Almanac: It is Friday, March 24, 2023. The moon was new on the 21^st and is in Taurus. The United Nations has declared this the Day for the Right to the Truth Concerning Gross Human Rights Violations and for the Dignity of Victims (A/RES/65/296). The World Health Organization has declared this World Tuberculosis Day. It is also Chocolate Covered Raisins Day and Agriculture Day.

Among those born on this day were Georgius Agricola (1494), Rufus King (1755), Joseph Liouville (1809), Elisa Felix (1821), John Wesley Powell and William Morris (1834), Andrew Mellon (1855), Emile Fabre (1869), Harry Houdini (1874), Fatty Arbuckle (1887), Arthur Murray (1895), Wilhelm Reich (1897), Thomas Dewey (1902), Malcolm Muggeridge (1903), John Cameron Swayze (1906), Lucia Chase (1907), Clyde Barrow (1909), Fritz Liebert and Joseph Barbera (1911), Gene Nelson (1920), Normal Fell (1924), Steve McQueen (1930), Patti Labelle (1944), and Lara Flynn Boyle (1970).

On March twenty-fourth the Peace of Boulogne was signed (France & England, 1550), King James VI became King James I of England (1603), Williams was granted a charter to colonize Rhode Island (1664), Aleksandr Romanov became emperor of Russia (1801), Canada granted suffrage to blacks (1837), Manhattan Kansas was founded (as New Boston, 1855), the Metropolitan Life Insurance Company formed (1868), the first telephone call between NYC and Chiacgo was put through (1883), the first automobile was sold (1898), Greece became a republic again (1924), the ex-planet Pluto was named (1930), Major Bowes' Original Amateur Hour went national (NBC Radio, 1935), Rockefeller donated East River site to the United Nations (1947), Cat on a Hot Tin Roof opened (1955), Elvis joined the army (1958), the Kennedy half dollar was issued (1964), and Isabel Peron was deposed (1976).

Night Sky, 3/24: Now the thickening crescent Moon shines above Venus during and after twilight. The Big Dipper glitters softly high in the northeast these evenings, standing on its handle. You probably know that the two stars forming the front of the Dipper's bowl (currently on top) are the Pointers; they point to Polaris, currently to their left or lower left. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: If the theory turns out to be right, that will be tremendously thick and tasty icing. --Brian Greene

This Week: Saturday, March 25 – Earth Hour & Be Mad Day & Tolkien Reading Day

Sunday, March 26 – Live Long And Prosper Day & Purple Day & Make Up Your Own Holiday Day

Night Sky, 3/26: This evening Ceres, 7th magnitude, crosses the northernmost spiral arm of the 10th-magnitude galaxy M100 in Coma Berenices. (Map & Picture)

Monday, March 27 – International Whisk(e)y Day & Viagra Day & World Theater Day

Tuesday, March 28 – Barnum and Bailey Day & Weed Appreciation Day

Wednesday, March 29 – Manatee Appreciation Day & Piano Day (88th day of the year) & Smoke and Mirrors Day

Night Sky, 3/29: Venus (magnitude –4.0, in Aries) is the "Evening Star" shining brightly in the west during and after dusk. It finally sets about 2 hours after dark. Telescopically, Venus is a shimmering little gibbous ball 13 arcseconds in diameter and 82% sunlit.

Thursday, March 30 – International Laundry Folding Day & Pencil Day

Thine face is not worth sunburning. (Henry V Act 5, Scene 2) / No longer from head to foot than from hip to hip, she is spherical, like a globe; I could find countries in her. (Comedy of Errors Act 3, Scene 2)

..........I wonder who's buying the wine.........Frank Fontaine …..I Wonder Who's Kissing Her Now 3/30/39

^^ The hand built Winton cost around $1,000.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I bet jellyfish are sad that there are no peanut butter fish. --Submitted by INRITH

Moonbeam: There are reported to be six species of metals, namely, gold, silver, iron, copper, tin, and lead. Actually there are more. Mercury is a metal although we differ on this point with the chemists. Plumbum cinereum (gray lead) which we call bisemutum was unknown to the older Greek writers. On the other hand, Ammonius writes correctly many metals are unknown to us, as well as many plants and animals. — Georgius Agricola

Video of the Week: Buddy Holly and the Crickets singing Peggy Sue on the Arthur Murray Show 12/29/57 https://www.schooltube.com/media/Buddy+Holly+on+the+Arthur+Murray+Dance+Party+12/1_uh0bjlm4 (2:30 … But Kathryn talks for about the first minute or so)

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Our prize is any voice from our show that you choose on your voicemail. Which is an amazing prize if you still use voicemail. --Karen Chee AND It's been my plan all along. I just knew, I'm like, one day there's gonna be a bank failure so I better not have any money. --Helen Hong AND A blob of seaweed bigger than the United States is headed for Florida. This is fun, it's official name is a Sargasasm. --Karen Chee Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 3/18/23

If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours. --Dolly Parton

That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend bice, that grey iniquity, that ruffian, that vanity in years? (Henry IV Part 1 Act 2, Scene 4) / His wit's as stick as a Tewkesbury mustard. (Henry IV Part 2 Act 2, Scene 4)

..........Love is a heartbeat throughout the universe.........Beverly Sills …..Sempre Libera 10/26/39

^^^ More than 100 Winton vehicles were sold in 1898.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: But how will I explain drag to my children? Your children practice hiding from an active shooter at school on a monthly basis. They can handle learning that adults play dress up. --Submitted by 98%

Weird Word of the Week: Yarely – Briskly, promptly, quickly. Speak to the mariners: fall to’t, yarely, or we run ourselves aground: bestir, bestir. The Tempest, by William Shakespeare http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-yar1.htm ~~A long etymology mentions Tennyson and Walter Scott, among others.

Dragon of the Week: Imagined Dragon

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Prevent a sleeping bag from getting musty. Before rolling up a sleeping bag for storage, place a sheet of Bounce inside the bag. When you unroll the bag next time, it will smell springtime fresh. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bounce.html ~~In a chemical sort of way.

The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes. (Comedy of Errors Act 5, Scene 4) / There's no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune. (Henry IV Part 1 Act 3, Scene 3)

...........Chaste goddess, who dost bathe in silver light.........Beverly Sills …..Norma 6/26/41

^^^^ After much trial and error, in 1913 Ford and his employees successfully began using this innovation at their Highland Park plant.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Fox News is a “news organization” in the same way that a urinal cake is “cake”. --Submitted by ff of ks

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Revelcon 33 (24-26, Houston, TX) The Little Con with a Texas Sized Heart https://www.revelcon.com/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Mathematical Modeling in Biology School (20-28), Potchefstroom, South Africa) 3MC School on Biomathematics https://natural-sciences.nwu.ac.za/paa/3MC-School-BM

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Ukraine --> Korean; Lebanon -->Albanian

The rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended nostril. (The Merry Wives of Windsor Act 3, Scene 5) / This woman's an easy glove, my lord, she goes off and on at pleasure. (All's Well That Ends Well Act 5, Scene 3)

..........Whose heart is achin' for breakin' each vow..........Connie Francis …..Who's Sorry Now 12/5/49

^^^^^ The US auto industry sold nearly 2,86 million cars in 2022.

My Own Writing of the Week: We were so young. He was a gentle but not timid lover. He was funny and engaged and we had a very good time. We were both pretty new at it. Because I lived in that Victorian house so close to campus, we had to find friends who were going out for the evening in order to actually make love. Alas, my memories are in my head, not in my flesh. Too bad! I wasn't as skilled at keeping the memories then. I have no letters from him, not even over summer break.

He came back to school after that next summer with the first Grateful Dead album. He was enthralled and I became a Dead fan (but never a Dead-Head) because of him. Later he used to buy albums when they came out on Tuesday and not let any of us listen to them until Saturday when we all took acid together. Between the Button by the Stones and Mellow Yellow by Donovan are the only ones I remember by name. We listened to a lot of really good music that year or perhaps it was very ordinary music and very good acid.

He managed to convince the university to allow him to count his music as a foreign language requirement because music is the universal language and because Russian bested him. He grew up to lead orchestras out west and write hard music, chamber music, and ballets.

Quote of the Week: It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning. --Bill Watterson (Calvin & Hobbes)

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Judging by the mess around urinals, men shouldn't be trusted with guns. --Musings of a Marooned Mountain Main --Submitted by sd of ks

Today's Peace of History, March 24, 1980: The Coalition of Labor Union Women (CLUW) was founded. The convention adopted four goals: organize the unorganized; promote affirmative action; increase women's participation in their unions; and increase women's participation in political and legislative activities. http://www.cluw.org/

I'd beat thee, but I would infect my hands. (Timon of Athens Act 4, Scene 3) / Thou cream faced loon. (Macbeth Act 5, Scene 3)

..........And the devil will drag you under by the sharp lapel of your checkered coat.........Stubby Kaye …..Sit Down You're Rockin' the Boat 2/16/50

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle March 24, 2023, Will's ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Scientific theory is a contrived foothold in the chaos of living phenomena. --Wilhelm Reich

Cost of War:

• As of 03/16/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $202,254,024,385.
• As of 03/23/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $202,784,849,670.
• As of 03/23/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,125,502,653,762.
• As of 03/16/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,124,020,056,820.
• As of 03/23/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,131,973,300,416.
• As of 03/16/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,131, 396,724,543.
• As of 03/23/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,956,861,298,849.
• As of 03/16/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,945,624,785,256.
• As of 03/23/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,014,233,747,776.
• As of 03/16/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,013,108,468,571.
• As of 03/23/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,431,358,256,147.
• As of 03/16/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,416,409,332,248.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Peace is the virtue of civilization. War is its crime. --Victor Hugo

Famous Last Words: I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. --Casablanca

..........To a simpler place and time and when he takes that ride.........Gladys Knight and the Pips …..Midnight Train to Georgia 6/12/52

Villain, I have done thy mother. (Titus Andronicus Act 4, Scene 3) / Away, you three-inch fool! (Taming of the Shrew - Act 4, Scene 1)

May Peace bless your world

And Joy grace your life

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

 

Orange you glad it's the ePistle

 Famous First Words: To all to whom these presents shall come... British Patent 13880 (1845) ~~The elastic band aka rubber band

Happy St Patrick's Day. Ireland is an example of how the followers of the God of Love treat each other. So green for the man afraid of snakes and for the other side, Orange. The Orange stopped halfway across the road because she ran out of juice. // The fake tourist attraction, Barney Stone, is an actual shamrock.

..........And the hoot owl cries over everything.........Celtic Thunder …..A Place in the Choir

We reaffirm our total and absolute commitment to exclusively democratic and peaceful means of resolving differences on political issues, and our opposition to any use or threat of force by others for any political purpose, whether in regard to this agreement or otherwise. --The Belfast Agreement 1998

It is a cold (24°F) Friday morning. The sun is shining on a perfectly blue sky without cloud or bird. There is no evidence of wind, no moving branches or blowing snow. Snow covers most of the ground; well, it's covered with snow not quite deep enough to hide the tuffs of grass or tiny hills or objects left on the lawn. All the rooftops are solid white. Unseen birds sings lauds to the rising sun and the beautiful, still bare trees. The birds do not show themselves for reason I do not understand. Puck lies sleeping in his bed occasionally snorting in his sleep as a counterpoint to the unseen bird song. I'm sipping creamy nuttin' but chocolate decaf and staring out my back window. I light a stick of sandalwood incense to drown out the smell of stuffiness and night. The day looks brighter minute by minute, the relentless new sun popping cyan from the house next to Bruno's and the darker blue of the storage shed. Stuck to my window just below the line where the blind stops, there is a sticker of a badminton shuttlecock from the KC art museum. That is the little bit of whimsey that this morning needed to be perfect. Dia duit, my loves.

Dia duit, ePistliers – green and/or orange ~~pronounced Dee-a Gwit. A way of saying hello that literal translates to goddess or god be with you

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Not a single kid has died in a mass reading, yet they're banning books instead of guns. --Submitted by gr of oh

Oranges rarely go blind. It's all that vitamin see. // That frog that jumped into the pot of gold is called a leap-prechaun.

..........One for all and all together.........Celtic Thunder …..Ireland's Call

Trivia Questions: This is the anniversary of the day Elvis bought Graceland.

• ^ How much did Elvis pay for Graceland?
• ^^ How many televisions were in the “television room” at Graceland?
• ^^^ What year did Elvis acquire the famous pink Cadillac?
• ^^^^ What folk song title was also the name of the stables at Graceland?
• ^^^^^ How many visitors does Graceland get per year?

Big Hello: Salut, Bouônjour – Jèrriais (Spoken on the Channel Island of Jersey) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I screamed into the abyss and it echoed back: this could have been an email. --Submitted by Philosophy Matters

Image of the Week: Thomas Eakins' “Sailing” is being shipped to KC from Philadelphia on temporary loan due to a lost Super Bowl bet.

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 48% of library security systems are simply a lady at the front desk giving everyone a stink eye. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

It's Naval Oranges that prevent scurvy. // You can tell if a leprechaun likes your joke because he's Dublin over with laughter.

..........You know, she beat me at darts and then she beat me at pool.........Celtic Thunder …..The Gal way Gal

Moonbeam: We need, in every community, a group of angelic troublemakers. --Bayard Rustin

Meditation of the Week: What is knowledge? --Husserl

Puzzle of the Week: This week's challenge comes from the screenwriter and comedian Mike Reiss. Name something scary in two words. Five of the letters are vowels, which are all the same. And the consonants are all Roman numerals. What scary thing is this? NPR Sunday Puzzle 3/12/23

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Coffee is just goth water. --Friedrich Nietzsche --Submitted by Philosophy Matters

Someone told me “nothing rhymes with orange”. I said, “no it doesn't. It rhymes with something.” // Leprechauns have money sitting around in pots but still can't ride the roller coaster at Disneyland.

Do not seize the day. This will startle the day and may cause it to become aggressive and give you a nasty bite. (1) --Submitted by INRITH

..........But laces in geranium pots I never saw before.........Celtic Thunder …..Seven Nights Drunk

^ Elvis paid $102,500 for Graceland.

Almanac: It is Friday, March 17, 2023. The moon went into the last quarter on Wednesday (3/15) and is in Capricorn. It is St Patrick's Day and world wide it is World Maritime Day.

Among those born on this day were James IV (Scotland, 1473), George Ohm (1787), James Bridger (1804), Gottlieb Daimler (1834), Kate Greenaway (1846), Frederic Ayers (1876), Gloria Swanson (1899), Bayard Rustin (1910), Nat King Cole (1919), Stephen Dodgson (1924), James B. Irwin (1930), Tom Mattingly II (1936), Rudolf Nureyev (1938), Edward Harper (1941), Paul Kantner (1942), Danny DeVito (1944), John Sebastian (1944), William F. Gibson (1948), Patrick Duffy (1949), Kurt Russell (1951), Scott Gorham (1951), Gary Sinise (1955), Rob Lowe (1964), and Mia Hamm (1972).

On Patrick was carried off to Ireland (432), Magellan landed on the Philippines (1521), France invaded Flanders (1537), the first St. Patrick's Day parades was held in NYC (1762), Britain repealed the Stamp Act (1766), Texas abolished slavery (1836), the rubber band was patented (1845), the National Association of Professional Base-Ball players was organized (1871), Eleanor married Franklin Roosevelt (1905), the Camp Fire Girls organized (1912), Tsar Nicolas II abdicated (1917), O'Neill's Welded premiered (1924), the US failed to sign the League of Nations disarmament treaty (1927), the National Gallery of Art opened (1941), Element 98 was announced (Californium, 1950), Elvis bought Graceland (1957), the Dalai Lama fled Tibet (1959), Bill Cousy played his last NBA game (1963), and Golda Meir became Israel's fourth prime minister (1969).

Night Sky, 3/17: Spring arrives very soon (the equinox is on the 20th), so Orion stands upright high in the south-southwest as the stars come out. He's about to start his long spring tilt and departure down toward the west — as the hours pass in the evening, and as the weeks pass with the advancing season. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: In order to fly, all one must do is simply miss the ground --Douglas Adams

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Calling yourself “O'Possum” doesn't make you Irish, Bob.

This Week: Saturday, March 18 - Awkward Moments Day & National Biodiesel Day & National Quilting Day

Sunday, March 19 – International Read To Me Day & National Backyard Day & National Poultry Day

Night Sky, 3/19: The "twin" heads of the Gemini figures are fraternal twins at best. Pollux is visibly brighter than Castor and pale orange. And as for their physical nature, they're not even the same species. Pollux is a single orange giant. Castor is a binary pair of two smaller, hotter, white main-sequence stars, a fine double in amateur telescopes.

Monday, March 20 – Great American Meat Out Day & World Frog Day & World Sparrow Day

Tuesday, March 21 – International Day of Forests and the Tree & Memory Day & World Poetry Day

Wednesday, March 22 – International Day of the Seal & National Goof-off Day & Ramadan begins

Night Sky, 3/22: Mars is in eastern Taurus, heading east against the stars toward Gemini. Look for it high in the southwestern sky in early evening, lower in the west later.

Thursday, March 23 – Atheist Day & National Puppy Day & World Meteorological Day

Orange you sorry you saw this pun? //That piper's ego is go big he plays bragpipes.

Instead approach the day calmly without making eye contact, pet it gently, and slowly enfold it in a careful embrace. (2) --Submitted by INRITH

..........'S liom Corcaigh da mhéid é, dhá thaobh a' ghleanna 's Tír Eoghain.........Celtic Thunder …..Come by the Hills (where the rivers run clear, and bracken is gold in the sun)

^^ Graceland's television room had 3 tv sets.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Forget pot of gold! After all this green beer, I'm lookin' for a pot of porcelain! (Skip to the loo) Maxine's Crabby Road

Moonbeam: When an individual is protesting society's refusal to acknowledge his dignity as a human being, his very act of protest confers dignity on him. --Bayard Rustin

Video of the Week: Lucy and the Candy Factory (2:58) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkQ58I53mjk

Retro Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: They're going to hold Sunday's debate without a studio audience. They're just going to pipe in a laugh track. From 3/12/20 --Submitted by mm of ia

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Rick Moranis was fired from the role of Carl the janitor in The Breakfast Club because he insisted on playing the janitor with a cartoonishly thick Russian accent, fake gold teeth, and a gigantic ring of keys. --Negin Farsad Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 3/14/23

...the right to seek constitutional change by peaceful and legitimate means... --The Belfast Agreement 1998

Did you hear about the orange boxer? He got beaten to a pulp. // Never iron a four leaf clover; that's really pressing your luck.

If the day shows any signs of resistance to being engaged with, it is likely to turn on you. Back off and return to bed. (final) --Submitted by INRITH

..........So I'll wait for the white rose that's waitin' for me.........Celtic Thunder …..Mountains of Mourne

^^^ The pink Cadillac is a 1955 Fleetwood Sixty Special.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Lets drink until bagpipes sound good.

Weird Word of the Week: Wittol – Half-witted person … diluted over time from...somebody who knew he was a cuckold, but especially somebody who was untroubled by the situation. http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-wit1.htm ~~The word actually went through quite a bit to get to the cuckold bit. It's an interesting etymology.

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Eliminate static cling from pantyhose. Rub a damp, used sheet of Bounce over the hose. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bounce.html

Oranges always wear suntan lotion because they peel so easily. //Do you know why we wear shamrocks on St Patrick's Day? It's because real rock are too heavy.

...........Mush-a ring dum-a do dum-a da.........Celtic Thunder …..Whiskey in the Jar

^^^^ The stables at Graceland were named House of the Rising Sun.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Life is too short to fold fitted sheets. --Submitted by ss of kc

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Collective Con (17-19, Jacksonville, FL) North Florida's Premier Anime...yada, yada, yada... https://www.collectivecon.com/ ~~Actually, Dallas is hosting the Texas Furry Fiesta (16-19). The Theme is Attack of the Jackafluffies https://www.furryfiesta.org/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: International Conference on Advanced Collaborative and Applications: (13-17, Barcelona Spain) The new approach to sensor technology. https://10times.com/sensor-technologies-applications

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Voodoo Doll

I'm afraid of turning orange. Hopefully, it's just a pigment of my imagination. // Leprechauns have their own ComicCon. It's called Lepre-Con

..........Your mountains stand tall in their glory.........Celtic Thunder …..My Land

^^^^^ Graceland get more than 600,000 visitors a year.

My Own Writing of the Week: The most memorable of the boys'o'college, was a musician I call the Maestro. He was a couple of years younger than I and had taught himself to play banjo during the summer before he came away to school. He courted me truly by sitting in the front hallway of my building playing and singing to me. If men had been allow past the foyer, he would have courted me in the front parlor; then we could have been in a Victorian novel.

I lived in an old Victorian house that was likely built to take in students. It was very near campus and had several stories and rooms everywhere tiny kitchens here and there and sleeping porches out back. There was even a small apartment in the basement. But the main floor was Mrs. Wright's house. The vestibule was small but it had a settee built into the staircase that ran up the north side of the house. The settee was there so one could sit down and take off or put on galoshes before or after sloshing around in the snow.

It was "approved housing". This meant that it had the Dean of Women's Office Seal of Guarantee that coeds would be safe there! I am not sure what the university meant by safe but I doubt it had any resemblance to my definition. The guarantee was enforced by requiring that women be home by 10:30 on weekdays and that men not be allowed past the front hall. And to this very day the university never seems to think of locking the boys up early.

So the Maestro and I would sit on the little cushion with the ugly cushion while everyone else in the house trooped out on their Friday night dates. One night my roommate and I dressed me in a sari and I met him in red and white and we sat and he sang and played. A couple of times he brought his guitar instead of his banjo. It didn't matter to me, I loved the music and the time we spent.

Most of all, I loved it when he just sat and played all by himself or with his roommate on guitar; this often happened in the lobby of the boys dorm where he lived. They would play riffs and laugh saying that it was a funny musical combination; I could never hear it, of course. I think I liked it so much because he was at peace himself then and at peace with the world.

From Always Surrender by Christine Smith

Quote of the Week: CPAC stands for “Clowns Periodically Assembling in Convention Centers”. --Jimmy Kimmel

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Maybe we should regulate railroads and banks instead of uteruses and drag shows. --Submitted by Kansas Indivisible

Today's Peace of History, March 17, 1966. Cesar Chavez and the National Farm Workers Association left Delano for Sacramento, the capital of California, a 340-mile march which would take three weeks.

Oranges: They're all about the peel good factor. // I tried real Irish dancing for a while. It was a jig mistake.

..........From Bantry Bay down to Derry Quay.........Celtic Thunder …..Star of the County Down

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle March 17, 2023, Orange You Glad it's the ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Son of Quote of the Week: March Madness is the only place where you hear, “Kansas is advancing”. --Bill Maher

Moonbeam: If we desire a society without discrimination, then we must not discriminate against anyone in the process of building this society. If we desire a society that is democratic, then democracy must become a means as well as an end. --Bayard Rustin

Cost of War:

• As of 03/16/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $202,254,024,385.
• As of 03/09/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $201,677,824,727.
• As of 03/16/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,124,020,056,820.
• As of 03/09/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,122,410,652,165
• As of 03/16/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,131, 396,724,543.
• As of 03/09/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,130,771,094,266.
• As of 03/16/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,945,624,785,256.
• As of 03/09/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,933,423,829,817.
• As of 03/16/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,013,108,468,571.
• As of 03/09/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,011,886,212,903.
• As of 03/16/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,416,409,332,489.
• As of 03/09/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,400,172,753,431.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

The achievement of a peaceful and just society would be the true memorial to the victims of violence. --The Belfast Agreement 1998

Famous Last Words: We love. --Eugene O'Neill Welded

..........Thank God and we're homeward bound.........Celtic Thunder …..Home from the Sea

Look, It's not like I don't know these orange jokes are unappeeling. // What's Irish and stays out all night? Paddy O'Furniture.

May Peace pace your rhythm

And Joy set your tune

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: Happy World Maritime Day