Famous First Words: Happy Festivus...for the rest of us !
Today, worldwide, there are many, many solstice celebrations that run for 3 to 12 days. Almost all of them involve candles. If you're going to make candle jokes, you need to be wick on your feet. / Puck got a scented candle for Christmas. It smells like a dead squirrel.
..........As the goat sails through the night sea.........PTKBO …..Io, Saturnalia
May you find peace in the promise of the solstice night, that each day forward is blessed with more light.
It is a frigid Friday (-4°F) with a wind chill of minus 23. The sky is devoid of clouds and the new rising sun makes the roof snow shine. The willow trees are relatively calm, but gusts of up to 16 mph make the branches dance and the wind chill drop so low. There are no birds at the feeder or in the air yet this morning. They must be waiting for it to warm up a bit before the venture out of what we hope are warm nests. The main streets are relatively clear and we could make it to the grocery without fear of sliding. I have a doctored cup of Nuttin' But Kisses decaf and a doctored biscuit for breakfast. The chocolatey steam from my cup brings warmth and cheer to my nose and my heart. So I play Jethro Tull singing Another Christmas Song and sit down to write to you; it's another reason to feel warm in a season of cold. Whatever your holiday, may it be merry and bright, ePistliers, and warm.
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Maybe I should've been giving all the naughty kids solar panels instead of coal. --Santa testifying before the Climate Change Committee --Submitted by ff of ks
I want a party candle that will burn for 2 hours smelling like Champaign and then change to a Time For The Guest To Leave scent. / One of the most stressful things about being a baby dragon is trying to blow out the candles on your birthday cake.
..........that showed me time outside my understanding.........Eliza McLamb ….Winter Solstice
Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday to the Metric Conversion Act !
- ^ Which president signed the bill into existence?
- ^^ What was the bill supposed to accomplish?
- ^^^ How were the tenets of the bill to be established?
- ^^^^ Which president abolished the Metrication process?
- ^^^^^ Which president tried to re-establish the spirit of the bill?
Big Hello: Kablaaw – Iloko (Philippines) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Dear Jesus: For Christmas this year I'd like to try following your teachings without having your followers call me a socialist. --John Fugelsang --Submitted by 98%
Image of the Week: The new “grand boat” i,e. Tom and Kirsten's I don't know its name.
Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 20% of a librarian's Christmas spirit is gin. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
I searched eBay for something to light my candles. It said “no matches found”. / Neither a red candle nor a green candle burn longer. They both burn shorter.
..........Your tears are as pure as spring water.........Hamed Mahzarnia …..Shab E Yalda
Moonbeam: The low-lying mountains sleep at the edge of the world. The forests cover them like mantles. --Harriet Monroe
Meditation of the Week: Can you imagine a googolplex?
Puzzle of the Week: From listener Warren Bergmann, of Neenah, Wis. Many people carry _____ (4-letter word) in a _____ (5-letter word) to make _____ (9-letter word). You can rearrange the letters of the first two words (the 4- and 5-letter ones) to get the last word (the 9-letter one). What words are these?
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Actual Saturnalia Joke from the 5th Century: Hereupon Evangelus said, “Servilius Geminus happened to be dining at the home of Lucius Mallius, then considered the best painter in Rome, when he saw Mallius' two ugly sons: “You don't make children,” he said, “the way you make pictures.” “That,” said Maiilus, “is because I make children in the dark, pictures in the light.”
Too many candles these days are quitting their jobs due to burn out. / I hear candles are always delighted to be put out.
..........The fairgrounds buzzing; it's a great show..........Mahanadhi ….......Pongal
^ The Metric Conversion Act of 1975 is an Act of Congress that President Gerald Ford signed into law on December 23, 1975
Almanac: It is Friday, December 23, 2022. Christmas Eve Eve! The moon is new today and is in Capricorn. It is National Pfeffernusse Day, National Roots Day, Festivus, and Human Light Celebration. In Egypt it is Victory Day.
Among those born on this day were Pieter Bockenberg (1548), Richard Arkwright (1732), Aleksandr Romanov (1777), Jean-Francois Champollion (1790), Joseph Smith Jr (1805), Thomas Malthus (1834), Harriet Monroe (1860), Don McNeill (1907), Helmut Schmidt (1918), Jose Greco (1918), Leonard Stern (1923), Robert Bly (1926), Karol Bobko (1937), Tim Hardin (1941), Harry Shearer (1943), Ronald Bushy (1945), Susan Lucci (1949), Eddie Vedder and Slash (1965), and Corey Haim (1971).
On December twenty-third the Peace of Arras was signed (1482), the Continental Congress took out a loan from France for $181,500 to finance the war (1776), Benedict Arnold was court-martialed (1779), Maryland voted to cede land for the District of Columbia (1788), A Visit from St Nicholas was published (1823), Turkey proclaimed its constitution (1876), van Gogh cut off his left ear (1888), L'apres-midi d'un faune premiered (1894), the first Keystone Kops film was released (1912), the Federal Reserve Act was sign into law (1913), BBC Radio began daily newscasts (1922), NBC set up coast-to-coast radio network (1928), Castro offered to trade 1,113 prisoners of the Bay of Pigs Invasion for $62 million worth of food and medical supplies (1961), Borman, Lovell, and Anders orbit the moon (1968), The Young and the Restless debuted (1973), Congress passed the Metric Conversion Act (1975), and Squeaky Fromme escaped from Alderson Prison (1987).
Night Sky, 12/23: Above Orion shines orange Aldebaran with the large, loose Hyades cluster in its background. Binoculars are the ideal instrument for this cluster given its size: its brightest stars (4th and 5th magnitude) span an area about 4° wide. (Fainter ones extend much farther.) Higher above, the Pleiades are only a little more than 1° across counting just the brightest stars. The main Hyades stars famously form a V. It's currently lying on its side, open to the left. Aldebaran forms the lower of the V's two tips. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Fraternal Picture of the Week: Christmas Dreamlike Image with reindeer
This Week: Saturday, December 24 – Eggnog Day & Christmas Eve
Sunday, December 25 – A'Phabet Day or No “L” Day & Christmas & Christmas Pudding Day
Night Sky, 12/25: Starting 20 minutes after sunset, use binoculars to look low above the southwest horizon for Venus. Once you get it, watch for Mercury 4° to its upper right (well less than a binocular field width), and a very thin fingernail clipping of a crescent Moon a similar distance to Mercury's lower right. The Moon is very new when seen from the longitudes of the Americas. Can you see the earthshine on the Moon's dark portion?
Monday, December 26 – Boxing Day & National Candy Cane Day & Thank-you Note Day
Tuesday, December 27 – Howdy Doody Day & Visit the Zoo Day
Wednesday, December 28 – Endangered Species Act Day & Pledge of Allegiance Day
Night Sky, : Jupiter blazes white high in the south in twilight, then sinks toward the southwest. At magnitude –2.5 it vastly outshines the background stars of dim Pisces. Look for the Great Square of Pegasus above it as the stars come out, and upper right of Jupiter as the evening advances.
Thursday, December 29 – Tick Tock Day & YMCA Day (the organization not the song)
A sexy candle is called a scandle. / How many Saturnalia Celebrators does it take to change a light bulb? None, those guys use candles.
..........Finding faith and common ground the best that they were able.........Dar Williams …..The Christians and the Pagans
^^ The act declared the metric system "the preferred system of weights and measures for United States trade and commerce", but permitted the use of US customary units in all activities.
Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I think the new richest person should be required to buy Twitter now and this cycle should continue until none of them are rich anymore. --Elliot Downing --Submitted by 98%
Moonbeam: To be wild is not to be crazy or psychotic. True wildness is a love of nature, a delight in silence, a voice free to say spontaneous things, and an exuberant curiosity in the face of the unknown. --Robert Bly
Audio of the Week: Did Jesus Have A Baby Sister by Dory Previn ~~Did she whisper saviorette?
Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: It's COVID plus Flu plus a disease called RSV. It's the triple demic...tri demic. It sounds scary doesn't it, but it's very convenient, isn't it. We were so close to having to go home and visit our families for Christmas. --Tom Papa Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 12/17/22
With the turning of the wheel of time, let us keep our patience and rejoice in the winter solstice.
The Dad Jokes Candle smells like the groans of children. / If you have that candle, you should burn it. Otherwise it makes no scents.
..........You and I are caught in a fading light.........Howie Day …..Longest Night
^^^ The Act also established the United States Metric Board with representatives from scientific, technical, and educational institutions, as well as state and local governments to plan, coordinate, and educate the US people for the Metrication of the United States.
Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Stop making fun of older kids who still believe in Santa Clause, there are grown men who still believe in trickle down economics. --Submitted by ff of ks
Weird Word of the Week: Tergiversate – wriggling and being evasive, trying to avoid giving a straight answer to a straight question http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-ter1.htm
Dragon of the Week:
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Make pots and pans easy to clean. Before placing pots or pans on the barbecue grill, coat the bottom of the cookware with Barbasol shaving cream. When you finish grilling, the block soot will wash off the bottom of the pan with ease. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/barbasol.html
Our friendship is like this candle. If you forget me, I'll burn your house down. / When the last of your scented candle runs out, it's time for high-burn-na-shun.
...........Tonight while the moon is bright.........Louis Armstrong …..Cool Yule
^^^^ The Metric Board was abolished in 1982 by President Ronald Reagan.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: 1876: Willie Nelson releases “Mamas don't' let your babies (Grow up to be cowboys)”. 1996 (literally 18 years later): Paula Cole releases “Where have all the cowboys gone?” Amazing the patterns you start to recognize when you learn the history they refuse to teach you in school. --Submitted by ks of ks
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: I could not find a science fiction convention this weekend. Why was Megatron not invited to the Republican convention?: Because Megatron was a trans-former.
Actual Science Conference of the Week: I could not find a technology conference this weekend. The JavaScript developer was sad because she did not Node how to Express herself.
Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Cash + Purse → Purchases
Everybody talks about how wonderful scented candles are but I'm pretty sure they're wicked. / When I stumbled on the rug, my purse flew out of my hand and knocked over the Christmas candle display. It was a waxident.
..........The holly wears a blossom as white as any flower.........Loreena McKennitt …..The Holly and the Ivy
^^^^^ Executive Order 12770, signed by President George H W Bush on July 25, 1991, citing the Metric Conversion Act, directed departments and agencies within the executive branch of the US Government to "take all appropriate measures within their authority" to use the metric system "as the preferred system of weights and measures for United States trade and commerce" and authorized the Secretary of Commerce "to charter an Interagency Council on Metric Policy ('ICMP'), which will assist the Secretary in coordinating Federal Government-wide implementation of this order."
Second Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Prosthetic leg for sale. Would make excellent Christmas stocking filler. --Punny Pete --Submitted by sb of ar
My Own Writing of the Week: When I was 60 years old, I appeared in the Lawrence Kansas Anarchists Exposed Calendar (2004) in the nude. I was old and fat and it was so much fun. I wore only an Uncle Sam Hat. Bruce appeared also on a different page in a wizard hat. I bought 10 copies and gave them away as Christmas presents. I sent one to my daughter's family but my grandchildren refused to look at it. I sent copies to a few old boyfriends and even to one who was still in the queue. I was the oldest nude in the calendar. --My only Christmas piece
Quote of the Week: F**k the voting. Get right to the violence. --Roger Stone
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: None of the presents under the tree have neighed yet, so that's kind of disappointing.
Today's Peace of History, December 23, 1943: A 135-day strike by 23 conscientious objectors (COs) ended dining hall segregation at Danbury Federal Penitentiary in Connecticut. The number of conscientious objectors had increased from 15 in early 1941 to 200 by the time of the strike.
The candle factory in the neighborhood only made a few scents and was, therefore, never profitable. / There was a big fire in the Aroma Therapy Clinic, but things are much calmer now.
..........And I find it hard to explain.........Phoenix …..Winter Solstice
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle December 23, 2022, Scented ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Christine Smith, Exclusive Editor Lawrence, KS
Moonbeam: If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure? --Harry Shearer
Cost of War:
- As of 12/22/22 State Department War Costs since 2001: $195,580,972,168.
- As of 12/16/22 State Department War Costs since 2001: $195,033,808,489.
- As of 12/22/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,105,381,439,265.
- As of 12/16/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,103,853,171,352.
- As of 12/22/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,124,148,395,092.
- As of 12/16/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,123,553,932,213.
- As of 12/22/22 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,804,337,670,422.
- As of 12/16/22 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,792,751,051,326.
- As of 12/22/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,998,956,539,907.
- As of 12/16/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,997,796,117,289.
- As of 12/22/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,228,407,179,197.
- As of 12/16/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,212,991,023,476.
https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/
May the long nights make the light sweeter.
Famous Last Words: ...and to all a good night. --Clements A Visit From St Nicholas.
..........When all your demons die.........Marilyn Manson …..Saturnalia
If you decorate with a lot of small candles, you can make the place look tea-rightful. / Are the people who live in Candleville called Candlites?
May Peace define your season
And Joy define your life
prairie mama
christine
Last Laugh:
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