Famous First Words: How beautiful is the Princess Salome tonight. Salome by Richard Strauss
December is National Tie Month! In general, neckties cannot be used for other purposed, they just can knot. / I'm thinking of opening a store that only sells neckties. I'll call it Thailand.
.........the elephant turned pink.........George Harrison …..Simply Shady
Prisons are universities of crime, maintained by the state. --Peter Kropotkin
I am not well. I ache all over and I cough a lot and every time I cough, I pee on myself. So I went back to bed this morning and now I'm sending out the ePistle.
Hope your weekend is sugar glazed, ePistliers.
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's been fun finding God in the places the church told me not to look. --April Joy --Submitted by MMS
December 9th is National Pastry Day! Some people dream of cake; others bake it happen. / Burnt cookies: my little burnt offering to the spirit of the holidays.
..........Now that winter has come.........George Harrison …..So Sad
Trivia Questions: We've all been watching A Charlie Brown Christmas now for 57 years. How well do we know it?
- ^ When catching snowflakes on his tongue, Linus thinks the flakes need what?
- ^^ How much does Lucy charge for psychiatric help?
- ^^^ Instead of “a lot of stupid toys”, what does Lucy want for Christmas?
- ^^^^ What part is Sally asked to perform in the Christmas play?
- ^^^^^ What traditional Christmas carol does the entire gang hum and then sing at the end of the show?
Big Hello: Halló – Icelandic https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: “People don't care WHAT you did your PhD on, it just shows them that you have critical thinking skills” is an interesting position because if I was truly in possession of critical thinking skills I would not have done a PhD. --Julia Milton --Submitted by Philosophy Matters
Image of the Week: The Red Tailed Hawk that sat on the utility pole in my backyard for a whole day but has never been back.
Fake Library Statistics of the Week: Turns out the best way to communicate with the Ghost of Christmas Past is via a library fax machine. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Sometimes you gotta risk it for the biscuit. / Remember, all you knead is love.
..........Hello, emptiness.........George Harrison ….Bye Bye, Love
Moonbeam: The mind is its own place and in itself, can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven. --John Milton
Meditation of the Week: What is mind that it can do such things?
Puzzle of the Week: From listener Alan Hochbaum, of Duluth, Ga. What common eight-letter noun can be shortened in two ways — using either its first three letters or its last four letters? The answer is a familiar item.
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. --Charles Schultz --Submitted by bc of tx
A party without cake is just a meeting. / I find that in baking you sometimes need to take whisks.
...........First it comes then it rolls away.........George Harrison …..Māya Love
^ Linus thinks the snowflakes need sugar.
Almanac: It is Friday, December 9, 2022. The moon was full (Cold) yesterday (12/8) and is in Cancer. The United Nations has declared this International Day of Commemoration and Dignity to the Victims of the Crime of Genocide and of the Prevention of this Crime (A/RES/69/323) and International Anti-Corruption Day (A/RES/58/4). It is also National Pastry Day, Cremation Day, and Weary Willie Day.
Among those born on this day were Edwin Sandys (1561), St. Martinus de Porres, patron of social justice (Perus, 1569), John Milton (1608), Georg Gottfried Petri (1715), Johann Winckelmann (1717), Charles Waldteufel (1837), Pjotr Kopotkin (1842), Joel Chandler Harris (1848), Fritz Haber (1868), Clarence Birdseye (1886), Herione Gingold (1897), Emmett Kelly (1898), Grace Murray Hopper (1906), Douglas Fairbanks Jr (1909), Broderick Crawford (1911), Tip O'Neill (1912), Kirk Douglas (Issur Demsky, 1918), Redd Foxx (1922), Dina Merrill (1925), Dick Van Patten (1928), John Cassavetes (1929), Buck Henry (1930), Jessie "Ooh Poo Pah Doo" Hill (1932), Judi Dench (1934), Junior Wells (1934), Beau Bridges (1941), Rick Danko (The Band, 1943), Kenny Vance (1943), John Malkovich (1953), Donny Osmond (1957), and Worf (2340).
On December ninth Britain accepted the Treaty of Paris (1762), New York's first daily newspaper was issued (American Minerva, 1793), the first YMCA formed (Montréal, 1851), Charge of the Light Brigade was published (1854), the Noble Order of Knights of Labor was founded (1869), the ball-bearing skate was patented (1884), Norway unanimously approved female suffrage (1903), Salome premiered (1905), the first Christmas Seals were sold (1907), Spain became a republic (1931), the John Birch Society was formed (1958), Wilt Chamberlain (Philadelphia Warriors) scored 67 points vs NY (1961), Tanganyika became of British Commonwealth republic (1962), Zanzibar gained independence (1963), A Charlie Brown Christmas premiered (1965), Lewis F Powell Jr was appointed to the Supreme Court (1971), and George Harrison released Dark Horse (1974).
Night Sky, 12/9: The waning gibbous Moon this evening forms a big, nearly equilateral triangle with Mars high to its upper right and Capella high above the Moon. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Fraternal Picture of the Week: The boys, various relations, and huge owl.
This Week: Saturday, December 10 – Dewey Decimal System Day & Human Rights Day & Noble Prize Day
Sunday, December 11 – International Mountain Day & Kaleidoscope Day & UNICEF's Birthday & National Sobriety Day
Night Sky, 12/11: The waning gibbous Moon rises in late twilight. Once the stars come out, spot Pollux just to the Moon's left. Above Pollux is Castor.
Monday, December 12 – Green Monday & National Ding-a-Ling Day & Poinsettia Day
Tuesday, December 13 – Day of the Horse
Night Sky, 12/13: Geminids Meteor Shower: The Geminids can produce as many as 140 shooting stars per hour. The moon will still be fairly bright so we'll lose some of the faint ones.
Wednesday, December 14 – Monkey Day & Yoga Day & US Park Police Day
Night Sky, 12/14: Saturn, magnitude +0.8 in Capricornus, glows in the southwest as twilight fades. Left of it, by two fists or more, sparkles fainter Fomalhaut. As night progresses, Saturn moves lower and sets around 9 or 10 pm.
Thursday, December 15 – Bill of Rights Day & National Cupcake Day & Cat Herders Day
Suggestions for recycling left over fruitcake: balance that wobbly table leg / Railroad ties / Skeet Shooting
..........Ring out the old, ring in the new.........George Harrison …..Ding Dong Ding Dong
^^ Lucy charges five cents for Psychiatric Help.
Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: You never hear in the news, “200 killed today when Atheist rebels took heavy shelling from the Agnostic stronghold in the North. --Doug Stanhope --Submitted by LaughingInDisbelief
Moonbeam: Watch out when you're getting all you want. Fattening hogs ain't in luck. --Joel Chandler Harris
Video of the Week: A couple of minutes of the 2022 Lawrence Old Fashioned Christmas Parade
Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Buddhists on Meth: Police in Thailand raided the temple earlier this week and conducted drug tests that everyone of the monks failed. No one knows what tipped off the raid but it was probably the one monk who kept trying to play the drum solo from Hot for Teacher on the gong. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 12/4/22
All things are for all men, since all men have need of them, since all men have worked in the measure of their strength to produce them, and since it is not possible to evaluate every one's part in the production of the world's wealth. --Peter Kropotkin
The Jedi pastry chef was known as Obi Wan Cannoli. / Spiderman opened a bakery as a side hustle. He makes those little webbies cakes.
..........I'm a blue moon.........George Harrison …..Dark Horse
^^^ Lucy wants Real Estate instead of toys for Christmas.
Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I once entered the World Kleptomaniac Championships. I took gold, silver, and bronze. --Submitted by FNOG
Weird Word of the Week: Rhapsodomancy – divination sought through the chance selection of a passage in literature. http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-rha1.htm
Dragon of the Week: Christmas Dragon #2
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean patio furniture. Spray Barbasol shaving cream on plastic patio furniture and scrub with a brush, wet rag, or sponge. Kids especially love to lather up the patio table with shaving cream. Then simply hose down the children and the furniture. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/barbasol.html
Jasmine opened a pastry shop after she had a vision of an angel who said to her, “Donuts be afraid. / There are Pop-tarts and not Mom-tarts because of the Pastryarchy.
...........All these up and those downs.........George Harrison ….Far East Man
^^^^ Sally plays a Shepard's wife. Linus is the shepherd “Isn't he the cutest thing?”
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Christine was the first self driving car to catch on fire way before Tesla made it a standard feature. --Submitted by bc of tx
Science
Fiction Convention of the Week:
Armageddon Expo (10-11, Christchurch, New Zealand) Hapori,
whānau, ahurea rorotu, ihumanea, kēmu/kaikēmu, hākinakina ā-hiko,
hangarau, anime/pakiwaituhi, puka waituhi, ngā apoaponga, hautupua,
ngākau whiwhita
(Community,
family, digital culture, humanities, games/gamers, e-sports,
technology, anime/cartoons, comics, hobbies, generations, hobbies
) https://www.armageddonexpo.com/general-info/christchurch/
Actual Science Conference of the Week: International Conference on Aerospace Engineering, Flight Vehicles and Classification. (9-10, NYC) a premier interdisciplinary platform https://waset.org/aerospace-engineering-flight-vehicles-and-classification-conference-in-december-2022-in-new-york
Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Magazine -> mag, zine
Did you hear about the Brit who developed a pastry addiction? He became a total scone. / An old Jedi master named Ben stole Luke Skywalker's last pastry. Angrily, Luke shouted after him as he ran away, “Hey, you Owe Me One Kennoli”.
..........Jai krishna jai krishna krishna.........George Harrison …..It Is “He” (Jai Sri Krishna)
^^^^^ They all sing Hark the Herald Angels Sing.
My Own Writing of the Week: The Beatnik was another Apollo, an artist. We hung together for a couple of months. He was living in a loft over a men's store in Emporia, Kansas. I'm not sure I ever really understood him and I certainly didn't understand his art. Early one morning after he had his breakfast in bed, he was so excited he hardly gave me time to kiss myself off of his face before he jumped up, threw on clothes and ran out of the bedroom. I moved much slower but I eventually found him in his studio preparing to paint on a picture that had hung untouched since I first met him. He claimed the inspiration came to him as I came on him. I didn't believe him; it seemed a little too pat for me. Nonetheless, the picture did turn out very good in a beatnik sort of way. The finished product had no resemblance whatsoever to the way I felt that morning after breakfast.
For a while The Beatnik was known as The Man Who F**ks In His Sleep. One night I woke up in his bed. We were not in a dog pile but he was spooning my back. What awoke me was the thrusting of his erect cock against my butt. It wasn't regular or aimed, but it was thrusting and it was erect. In my foggy state I thought, well, if you're gonna do it, do it right. So I turned around and found him still asleep. You know how dogs sometimes run in their sleep? He was fucking in his sleep. There is the wives' tale that one shouldn't wake up sleep walkers, but I didn't know if that applied to sleep lovers. I ended up giving him a hand job because his movement was too erratic for a blow job. He woke up just seconds before he came. He claimed not to remember what he was dreaming and I had a great time. It was kind of like making love to someone else while I was alone.
WARNING: Some lovers are in this work under more than one nickname.
From Always Surrender by Christine Smith
Quote of the Week: We'll go down in history as the first society that WOULDN'T save itself because it wasn't cost effective. --Kurt Vonnegut
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The inventor of the wind chill factor died. He was 82 but felt like 64. --Submitted by RHOZ
Today's Peace of History, December 9, 1978: The first game of the Women's Pro Basketball League (WBL) was played. The Chicago Hustle beat the Milwaukee Does 92-87.
The pastry student took her donut test and passed with frying crullers. / If your pastry earns a degree in English you have to call it a synonym roll.
..........If your man should get uptight.........George Harrison …..I Don't Care Anymore
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle December 9, 2022, ePistle eClair. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS
Moonbeam: A ship in port is safe, but that's not what ships are built for. --Grace Murray Hopper
Cost of War:
- As of 12/08/22 State Department War Costs since 2001: $194,453,743,807.
- As of 12/01/22 State Department War Costs since 2001: $193,886,838,779.
- As of 12/08/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,102,233,023,167.
- As of 12/01/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,100,649,541,863.
- As of 12/08/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,122,923,853,082.
- As of 12/01/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,122,308,211,893.
- As of 12/08/22 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,780,470,817,901.
- As of 12/01/22 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,768,468,878,587.
- As of 12/08/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,996,565,946,855.
- As of 12/01/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,995,363,818,134.
- As of 12/08/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,196,649,357,096.
- As of 12/01/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,180,679,539,672.
https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/
The landlord owes his riches to the poverty of the peasants, and the wealth of the capitalist comes from the same source. --Peter Kropotkin
Famous Last Words: Glory to the newborn king. --A Charlie Brown Christmas
..........I really want to see you.........George Harrison ….. My Sweet Lord
December 9th is Official Lost And Found Day! I've finally lost my mind. If found, don't bother to return it. It wasn't working properly anyway. / I lost my haiku. Please tell me if you see it. Thank you very much.
May Peace be your fruit
And Joy be your cake
prairie mama
christine
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