Famous First Words: Here's a little song I wrote.. Bobby McFerrin Don't Worry, Be Happy
It's Words Matter Day. To prove it, here are some O'Henry Pun Off winners: Excerpt from a minute-and-a-half monologue pleading for the love of his doctor: Doctor, I’m in love with you. Actually, I’m abscessed. Now, I don’t want to throw off your arrhythmia but if you’ll do me the fever of tumor minutes of your time. Strep yourself in while I call up the relevant inflammation.
..........I'll pack my bag and load up my guitar.........Melissa Etheridge …...You Can Sleep While I Drive
“Every moment is an organizing opportunity, every person a potential activist, every minute a chance to change the world.” --Dolores Huerta
It is a very cold 22°F this Friday morning with the wind chill at 12°F. Puck went out a little ways to do his business and returned immediately. I have not been out. The snow is everywhere but the roads. Snow is sticking to the side of the fence and the patio door. Grass is covered; and even the hardy catnip plant has disappeared. Yet, even the dead end Morningside Dr out the front window is relatively clear. The snow has blown into organic shapes and piles. Some spots have only dusting and others have snow a foot deep. (I'm guessing we had 2 to 3 inches altogether) The shed is bejeweled with tiny icicles like a diamond necklace around the roof. I don't always like snow, but it is always beautiful. I am sitting at my computer sipping vanilla nut coffee. Puck is asleep across my right foot. March did come in like a lamb. Love you all...
Hope your weekend is warm and cozy, ePistlers
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Music is easier to listen to than people. --Submitted by ea of ca
"Once Chopin a time, I fell in love with a Brown-Eyed Girl, but after a long journey together I had to show her the Doors. At first, I thought she was The Cure for the Hole in my Heart. I used to Billy Idolize her." — Jordan Parker .
..........Bring me a dream.........The Chordettes …..Mr Sandman
Trivia Questions: It's Middle Name Pride Day. Do you know these Middle Name people who became famous?
^ How many of the 3 US presidents went by their middle names?
^^ Can you middle name this doctor-author of children's books?
^^^ Which legally blond actress' name isn't even quite in the middle?
^^^^ Middle name the British Royal in-law who is known by her middle name?
^^^^^ Which ocean forward actor's name isn't quite in the middle?
Big Hello: Dia dhuit – Irish (Gaelic) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The Black Eyed Peas can sing us a tune, but the chick peas can only hummus one.
Max Picture of the Week: Max and the other redcoats arrive in Seattle.
Fake Library Statistics of the Week: On any given day 15% of librarians think to themselves, “Everything would be better if I had just one more cat.” https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Fancy to meat you. Salami tell ya, to steak my ground, I wanted a boyfriend, so I went where there's a shawarma guys — Tender. Loser or wiener, he looks like Jon Ham but butcher. --Erika Ettin using meat puns to discuss online dating
..........You always watch the sun go down..........The Rolling Stones …..Sleep Tonight
Moonbeam: “He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.” --Douglas Adams
Meditation of the Week: Do hummingbirds hum because they don't know the words?
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: In the Ukrainian city of Konotop, a woman stared down a tank. She shouted at the drivers. “Do you even know where you are? This is Konotop! Here every second woman is a witch. This time tomorrow, your *ick won’t stand up!" We salute you, witches of Ukraine. May every curse you lay on the invaders hold for seven decades!
Puzzle of the Week: This week's challenge comes from listener Alan Hochbaum, of Duluth, Ga. Name a famous actor — first and last names. Remove the last letter of each name. You'll be left with an animal and an adjective that describes that animal, respectively. Who is the actor?
Still Another Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Putin says he's just taking back what used to be part of Russia. Alaska used to be part of Russia.
Week of the Week: Termite Awareness Week (6-12) –A termite walks into a bar and asks, “Is the bar tender here?” / A board termite will do anything to break up the mahogany.
Punning on diseases—we began with Ziek’s joke about star-crossed liver. “Mumps the word!” “That was a measle-y pun.”
..........Leaving all the worries all behind.........Paul Anka …..I Don't Like To Sleep Alone
^ (Stephen) Grover Cleveland, (Thomas) Woodrow Wilson, and (David) Dwight Eisenhower used their middle names.
Almanac: It is Friday, March 11, 2022. The moon went into the first quarter yesterday and is in Cancer. It is Johnny Appleseed Day (anniversary of his death in 1845), World Plumbing Day, World Sleep Day, and in New Mexico it is Arbor Day. Because it is Friday of the first full week in March it is also Middle Name Pride Day.
Among those born on this day were Torquato Tasso (1544), Hendrik Spieghel (1549), Louise-Florence d'Epinay (1726), Robert Paine (1731), Thomas Hastings (1860), Dorothy Gish (1898), Frederick IX (1899),Cornelis Jan Bakker (1904), Lawrence Welk (1908), Thomas Gray (1913), Harold Wilson (1916), F M Busby, Jr. (1921), Ralph Abernathy (1926), Rupert Murdoch (1931), Joep Straesser (1934), Antonin Scalia (1936), Bobby McFerrin (1950), Douglas Adams (1952), and John Barrowman (1968).
On March eleventh the Goths laid siege to Rome (537), Romeo wed Juliet (1302), Tebriz shah Ismail I of Persia was crowned (1502), New York guaranteed Protestants religious rights for the first time (1665), Banneker and L'Enfant began to map out DC (1789), the Royal Theatre in Drury Lane opened (1791), the Bureau of Indian Affairs was created by the US War Department (1824), the first female Medical College opened (1850), the Intercollegiate Lacrosse Association was organized (Princeton, 1882), the first public basketball game was played (1892), the Save the Redwoods League was founded (1918), the first Golden Gloves tournament was held (1927), the Bank of Canada opened (1935), Pioneer 5 was launched (1960), Mount Etna erupted (1974), Gorbachev replaced Chernenko (1985), Lithuania declared its Independence (1990), and Paul McCartney was knighted (1997).
Night Sky, 3/11: The waxing gibbous Moon this evening shines high in Gemini. When you face south after dark, Pollux and fainter Castor shine about a fist at arm's length to its left. At roughly right angles to that direction, the Moon shines almost exactly midway between Capella and Procyon (for evening in North America), about 2½ fists from each. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Image of the Week:
This Week: Saturday, March 12 – Genealogy Day & Girl Scout Birthday & Working Moms Day
Night Sky, 3/12: Daylight-saving time begins at 2 am tonight for most of North America. Clocks spring forward an hour.
Sunday, March 13 – Donald Duck Day & Smart & Sexy Day
Monday, March 14 – Save A Spider Day & Napping Day & Pi Day
Tuesday, March 15 – Ides of March & National Shoe the World Day & National Equal Pay Day
Wednesday, March 16 – Black Press Day & Freedom of Information Day & Panda Day & Purim begins
Night Sky, 3/16 Missing Planets...Jupiter is lost in a conjunction with the sun and Neptune is lost in the sunset.
Thursday, March 17 – Campfire Day & St Patrick's Day & Absolutely Incredible Kid Day
“Where do cantaloupes go in the summertime? John Cougar’s Melon Camp. / I run a drive through alterations business; it's called Tailor Swift.
..........Again at the park on a nice summer day.........The Beach Boys …..I Went To Sleep
^^ Theodor Seuss Geisel aka Dr Seuss
Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: M**s out there thinking that if they give us free pads and tampons we're going to “abuse the privilege” like we're making pad forts and playing tampon Jenga. --Submitted by MMS
Moonbeam: “Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?” --Douglas Adams
Strange Fact of the Week: If you see someone buying candy, popcorn, and a soda at the movies, they are a drug dealer. There’s no other explanation for that type of income.
Video of the Week: The Sunflower Seed Curse: https://www.theguardian.com/world/video/2022/feb/25/ukrainian-woman-sunflower-seeds-russian-soldiers-video
Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: ...The Journal of Excessive Parenting ... Not quite grammar nazi's but grammar Hilter Youth... we pointed him toward Henry James and talked to him about semicolons. --Faith Salie Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 3/5/22
Let us wage a glorious struggle against illiteracy, poverty and terrorism. Let us pick up our books and our pens; they are the most powerful weapons.” --Malala Yousafzai
In high school Robert E Lee was voted most likely to secede. / The biggest prankster in Washington's army was Laugh-ayette.
..........I've been listenin' to your dreams.........Crystal Gayle …..Talking In Your Sleep
^^^ Laura Jeanne Reese Witherspoon
Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's so windy out there, the birds are flying sideways. --Submitted by ag of ks
Weird Word of the Week: Honorificabilitudinitatibus: We are in the arena of sesquipedalian words — those a foot and a half long, whose prime characteristic is their length rather than their sense or value. Honorificabilitudinitatibus may be rendered more succinctly as “of honour”. Any word used by James Joyce (in Ulysses) and William Shakespeare (in Love’s Labour Lost) can’t be entirely dismissed from the canon of English, even though the former borrowed it from the latter, who in turn borrowed it from Latin. https://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-hon1.htm
Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie giving the thumb's up for arriving in Seattle !!! Yeah
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Deodorize food containers. Mix one-quarter cup Arm & Hammer Baking Soda with one quart water, swish food containers in solution, soak overnight, then rinse clean. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/armhammer.html
The Roman Empire was cut in half by a pair of Caesars. / There was a famous Roman ruler who suffered from hay fever ; his name was Julius Sneezer.
...........Near the village, the peaceful village..........The Tokens …..The Lion Sleeps Tonight
^^^^ Rachel Meghan Markle Windsor
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Atheism-- all of the Mardi Gras, None of the Lent. --Submitted by MMS
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: AllCon, 2022 (11-13, Dallas) --ALL-CON is a community produced fandom convention with foundations built upon costuming, gaming, performances, and more since 2005. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/all-con-2022-over-400-events-what-will-you-choose-to-do-registration-140693069759
Vintage Players One Liner of the Week: I went to an antique auction and people bid on me.
Actual Science Conference of the Week: EMBO Workshop: Stroke-Immunology (9-12, Munich) --will cover key topics in brain-immune interactions in the context of stroke https://meetings.embo.org/event/22-stroke-immunology
Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Rami Malek → Ram, male
Baby Vikings hang out in the Norsery. / When Vikings are reincarnated they are Bjorn again.
..........I will sing a lullaby..........The Beatles …..Golden Slumbers
^^^^^ Joseph Jason Namakaeha Momoa
My Own Writing of the Week: In March of 1965 I was a student at the University of Kansas, I lived in “approved housing” which was a bunch of big old houses broken into rooms where coeds could live and avoid the dorms. One of my housemates there was Carol. Carol was active in the Civil Rights Council which was a student organization advocating for racial equity on campus. At their Sunday afternoon meeting on March 7th, CRC planned a sit-in for the chancellor's office the next day. They discussed tactics. They decided when and where and how. They debated demands. At that time the student newspaper, University Daily Kansan, accepted ads for apartments to rent with “Whites Only” in the copy...there was no equity in student teacher placement...a Black Studies Department. It was a serious decision that tested their involvement and their courage. They had a plan, it was good, and it was righteous. When they got home from planning that sit-it, the nightly news was showing footage of Selma's Bloody Sunday. What a mix of emotions must have passed through them while they watched. Certainly horror, we all felt that. Also, a sinking feeling of being at the end of a billy club or getting thrown out of school but knowing that you had to go on...more than ever...because we all needed it? I thank those people: 1) all 102 of them that stayed until they were arrested 2) The many, many students who marched to the chancellor's house that night 3) all the several hundreds that sat in the Chancellor's hall the next day 4) all the people outside who found lawyers and gave rides and put their houses on the line to bail out the arrested students. I knew people in all 4 groups. I was in a couple of them. Thank you all, again.
Quote of the Week: There's only one thing more precious than our time and that's who we spend it with. --Leo Christopher
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I have an Elton John pun; it's a little bit funny.
Today's Peace of History, March 11, 1988: The first of 10 days of protest and direct action demanding an end to nuclear testing at the Nevada Test Site.
It was vacation time on the farm. The sheep are going to Baaaaaahamas. The cats tried to have a poker game but one was a cheetah and the bobcat was a clawful, but the lion was always fur-tunate.
..........Sleep with one eye open,..........Metallica …..Enter Sandman
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle March 11, 2022, Punnish ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam: “For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.” --Douglas Adams
Cost of War:
As of 3/10/22 State Department War on Terror Costs since 2001: $172,758,503,378.
As of 2/28/22 State Department War on Terror Costs since 2001: $171,992,167,897.
As of 3/10/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,041,635,267,719.
As of 2/28/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,039,494,968,127.
As of 3/10/22 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,099,358,206,265.
As of 2/28/22 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,098,525,881,613.
As of 3/10/22 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,321.126,374.132 .
As of 2/28//22 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,304.898,807.798 .
As of 3/10/22 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,950,556,558,990.
As of 2/28/22 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,948,931,426,461.
As of 3/10/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,585,438,728,982.
As of 2/28/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,563,848,775,842.
https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/
“If we want to reap the harvest of peace and justice in the future, we will have to sow seeds of nonviolence here and now, in the present.” --Mairead Maguire
Famous Last Words: So long, and thanks for all the fish. --The Dolphins Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
..........Tell me where did you sleep last night.........Lead Belly …..Black Girl
10Metaphors be with you. / You've sure got the write stuff. / I always get my local witch to edit my writing because she has a great spell check. ~~In honor of World Sleep Day
May Peace be your grease
And Joy be your toy
prairie mama
christine
Last Laugh:
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