Wal-lie's ePistle

 Famous First Words: In the name of their peoples... Charter, Organization of American States

Wild Walpurgis to you all! Walpurgis (April 30) and Beltane (May 1) were once considered the last day of winter and the first day of summer. It was believed that witches rode through the skies on this night for reasons no one ever stated. In some countries Walpurgis is celebrated with wine and satire. --Summer bachelors, like summer breezes, are never as cool as they pretend to be. --Nora Ephron / Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

..........Seein' things I may never see again..........Willie Nelson …..On The Road Again

I must say that "Give Peace a Chance" has always seemed to me to be sensible advice. --Pierre Trudeau

It is a gorgeous Friday morning. The sky is a clear blue without clouds. No breeze moves the willow branches nor cools the 55°F temperature. The yard must contain 30 shades of green from nearly-yellow chartreuse to almost-black forest. Birdsong and dog barks recite matins; not even a car motor intrudes on today's quietness. Even Puck does his business and comes back inside without greeting Bruno or shouting warnings to squirrels. I busy myself with morning chores before I inhale the steam coming from my cup of rich, sweetened decaf and it clears my sinuses of pollen and dust. I sit down at my computer still staring out the window into the beauty that is this day. I take a cautious drink and think about you. What a great morning.

Hope your weekend is a joy ride on your favorite broom, ePistliers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad I let her draw things on my body. I give her a shoulder to crayon. --Submitted by HPF

He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom. --P.G. Wodehouse / Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: if you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes. --Stephen Colbert / I make mistakes; I'll be the second one to admit it. --Jean Kerr

..........let 'em be doctor and lawyers and such.........Willie Nelson …..Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys

Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday, Ice Cream Cone

^ What is the current consensus about when the first ice cream cone was sold?

^^ What is the earliest mention of cones for ice cream in literature?

^^^ What and When is Free Cone Day?

^^^^ How many of the 11 kinds of cones can you name?

^^^^^ What do you know about the world's largest ice cream cone?

Big Hello: Bok – Croatian https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Never give up on your dreams. Keep sleeping. --Submitted by sb of ar

Max Picture of the Week: Engineer turned botanist Max demonstrates his rolling foliage

Fake Library Statistic of the Week: Every library has that one mug that you never see anyone use but is always in a different spot away from the break room https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Welcome to Hell. Here's your accordion. --Gary Larson / Can you identify yourself? Certainly. I'd know me anywhere. --Terry Pratchett / The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it. --Joan Rivers

..........If we could start anew, I wouldn't hesitate..........Bobby Vee …..Tears On My Pillow

Moonbeam: If people suspect their Cattle Bewitched, if they be great Cattle, make the twelfth house their ascendant, and the eleventh their twelfth house, and vary your Rules with Judgment. --William Lilly

Meditation Seed of the Week: Is reading on the toilet considered multitasking?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: God is a comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh. --Submitted by MMS

Week of the Week: Be Kind To Animals Week (2-7) --Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell? He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish. / What do you call an animal you keep in your car? A car pet ~~No, it is not all right to be nasty to animals the other 51 weeks.

Mysteries force a man to think, and so injure his health. --Edgar Allan Poe / Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice. --Ambrose Bierce / I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas? --Jean Kerr

..........I'm sorry, I was blind.........Willie Nelson …..You Were Always On My Mind

^ Ice cream cones were invented at the 1904 World’s Fair in St. Louis, Missouri by concessions vendors as a way for people to eat ice cream easily while they enjoyed the fair...or an ice cream vendor ran out of bowls and made a deal with a pancake vendor.

Almanac: It is Friday, April 30, 2021. The moon will be at third-quarter on Monday and is in Capricorn. It is National Animal Advocacy Day, National Bubble Tea Day, National Honesty Day, National Military Brats Day, National Prepareathon Day, National Raisin Day, Spank Out Day - USA, and Walpurgis Night. Because it is the last Friday it is also National Teach Children to Save Day and Undiagnosed Children's Awareness Day.

Among those born on this day were William Lilly (1602), Jean-Baptiste de la Salle (1651), Rosalie Amstein (1846), Indrid Einarsson (1851), Queen Juliana (1909), Eve Arden (1912), Robert Shaw (1916), Al Lewis (1923), Cloris Leachman (1926), Edmund Cooper (1926), Willie Nelson (1933), Larry Niven (1938), Bobby Vee (1943), Jill Clayburgh (1944), Annie Dillard (1945), Johnny Galecki (1975), and Kirsten Dunst (1982).

On April thirith the brightest supernova in history was observed (1006), The Treaty of Westminster was signed (England & France, 1527), Jews were expelled from France (1563), Congreve's Love for Love premiered (London, 1695), the Treaty of Vienna was signed (Emperor Charles VI & King Philip IV, 1725), Washington was inaugurated (1789), the Department of the Navy was established (1798), Nicaragua declared independence from the Central American Federation (1838), San Jose State University formed (1857), Lincoln ordered federal troops to evacuate Indian Territory (1861), New York became the first state to charge a hunting licence fee (1864), the Boston Pops Orchestra was established (1885), the US annexed Hawaii (1900), the ice cream cone debuted (1904), the World Congress for Women's Rights concluded (Istanbul, 1935), television was demonstrated (1939), the charter for the Organization of American States was signed (Bogota, 1948), Mr Potato Head became the first toy advertised on television (1952), Fidel Castro received the Lenin-Peace Prize (1961), the US invaded Cambodia (1970), Haldeman and Ehrlichman resigned from the Nixon administration (1973), and Queen Juliana abdicated and Queen Beatrix ascended the throne of the Netherlands (1980).

Night Sky, 4/30: Face north just after nightfall, look very high, and you'll find the Pointers, the end stars of the Big Dipper's bowl, on the meridian pointing toward Polaris straight down below. From the Pointers to Polaris is about three fists at arm's length.. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Image of the Week: Puck refusing to show off his home executed haircut.

This Week: Saturday, May 1 – Beltane & Global Love Day & Hug Your Cat Day & Law Day & May Day

Sunday, May 2 – International Bereaved Mothers' Day & Lemonade Day & Pascha & World Tuna Day

Night Sky, 5/2: Even though May is here, wintry Sirius still twinkles very low in the west-southwest at the end of twilight. It sets soon after. How much longer into the spring can you keep Sirius in view? The farther north you are, the sooner Sirius is gone for the season.

Monday, May 3 – Garden Meditation Day & Lumpy Rug Day & Public Radio Day & Wild Koala Day

Tuesday, May 4 – Bird Day & Intergalactic Star Wars Day & National Teacher Day & World Give Day

Wednesday, May 5 – African World Heritage Day & Cartoonists Day & Cinco de Mayo & National Astronaut Day

Night Sky, 5/5: Eta Aquarids Meteor Shower: In the predawn hours of May 6, observers get the chance to spot the Eta Aquarids at their peak. The maximum rate for shooting stars in a perfectly clear sky will be about 40 to 50 per hour, according to Cooke. These fast meteors travel across the sky at about 42 miles (67 kilometers) per second

Thursday, May 6 – National Children's Mental Health Day & National Day of Prayer & National Day of Reason

Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman. --Oscar Wilde / People who smile while they are alone used to be called insane, until we invented smartphones and social media. --Mokokoma Mokhonoana / It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows. --Erma Bombeck

..........Bluebirds singin' a song.........Willie Nelson …..Blues Skies

^^ During the 1770s, ice cream was referred to as iced puddings or ice cream puddings. The cones used were referred to as wafers. During this period, wafers were considered as “stomach settlers” and were served at the end to the meal to calm digestion. They eventually became luxurious treats and were an important element of the dessert course. When rolled into “funnels” or “cornucopias,” they could be filled with fruit pastes, creams, and iced puddings.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I saw a microbiologist today. He was much bigger than I expected. --Submitted by INRITH

Moonbeam: Learning without piety produces a proud device; piety without learning produces a useless one.--Jean-Baptiste de La Salle

Late Night Snacks of the Week: Earth Day is like prom in that every year has a theme This year’s being “Restore Our Earth”. Yes, we have to, or pretty soon the theme’s gonna be ‘Enchantment Under the Sea’ --Stephen Colbert / The holiday started “with very lofty goals, and it kinda turned into ‘guys, please, just for one day try not to light garbage on or near a panda bear, OK?’ --Jimmy Kimmel / America can't be racist because it elected two Black people who half the country hates for reasons they can't quite put their finger on. --Trevor Noah

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie is King of the World – or at least Seattle

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: The trend in post-pandemic dating, we are told, will be, quote, "honesty bombing." And that's being upfront and honest about everything right away because we now know after the pandemic, there's just no more time to waste screwing around. If you date - if you go on a date post-pandemic, expect the person to open with, right, I don't care about the "Avengers" movies or sports. I worry about becoming my mother, and I will. And I load the dishwasher all wrong. Now, you go. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 4/24/21

We should aim for peaceful coexistence at least and trans-cultural synergy at best. --Nayef Al-Rodan

An honest politician is an oxymoron. --Mark Twain / I suppose that in no educational institution can one become an educated person. --Mikhail Bulgakov / Brevity is the soul of lingerie. --Dorothy Parker

..........Just and old sweet song.........Willie Nelson …..Georgia On My Mind

^^^ In honor of Free Cone Day on Tuesday, March 15, participating Dairy Queen and DQ Grill & Chill locations across the United States will offer a free small vanilla soft-serve cone. Ben & Jerry also have a free cone day but they have postponed it in 2021 because of COVID-19.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If the news is fake, imagine how bad history is. --Submitted by ag of ks

Weird Word of the Week: Haruspex – a priest or priestess of ancient Rome who interpreted omens by inspecting the entrails of sacrificial animals. World Wide Words: Haruspex

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Thread a needle. Stiffen the end of the thread with Alberto V05 Hair Spray so it can be easily poked through the eye of a needle. Alberto VO5® Hair Spray: Wacky Uses

Puzzle of the Week: This challenge came from listener Theodore Regan, of Scituate, Mass. Name a famous actor — 4 letters in the first name, 7 letters in the last. You can change the first letter of the actor's first name to name a bird. And you can change the first letter of the actor's last name to name a mammal. Who's the actor?

A girl with brains ought to do something with them beside think. --Anita Loos / The problem with winter sports is that –follow me closely here – they generally take place in the winter. --Dave Barry / There are two million interesting people in New York and only eighty-eight in Los Angeles. --Neil Simon

...........Why do I let myself worry.........Willie Nelson …..Crazy

^^^^ Kinds of Cones: 1) Cake cones 2)Waffle Cones 3) Sugar Cones 4) Pretzel Cones 5) Waffle Bowls 6) Chocolate Dipped Cones 7) Kid Cones 8) Twin Cones 9) Jacketed Cones 10) Ice Cream Sandwich Wafers 11) Gluten Free Cones

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Even if you're fully vaccinated, the CDC still recommends not listening to men with no medical qualifications on any subject related to reproductive healthcare. --Kate Kelly --Submitted by MMS

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Metrotham Con 2021 (30-2) Chattanooga, TN “Oh the Horror”. HOME | Metrotham Con

Actual Science Convention of the Week: International Congress on Cell Science and Molecular Biology (4/1-2, San Juan, PR) current technology, techniques and solutions in Cell Science and Molecular Biology International Congress on Cell Science and Molecular Biology (worldresearchsociety.com)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Mark Ruffalo – Lark, Buffalo

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. --H L Mencken / Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. --Robert Benchley / If all the girls attending the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be surprised. --Dorothy Parker

..........That's a question I'm still unable to answer..........Bobby Vee …..How Many Tears

^^^^^ The world record for the largest ice cream cone ever made was achieved in 2015 in Norway with a cone over 10 feet high!

Ultimate Talk Like Shakespeare Day Video That Somehow Didn't Make It Into Willie's ePistle of the Week: Hamlet :: To Be or NOT To Be - that IS the question?! - Toby Simkin ★ Broadway

Extreme Topiary of the Week:

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I remember sitting in psychology class learning about Pavlov, thinking those stupid dogs, and then the bell went and we all had lunch. --Gary Delaney --Submitted by sd of ks

Today's Peace of History, April 30, 1917: The American Friends Service Committee was founded to provide young Quakers and other conscientious objectors the opportunity to serve those in need as an alternative to military service in what was later known as World War I. They worked with British Friends assisting refugees from that conflict.

I worship the quicksand he walks in. --Art Buchwald / After being turned down by numerous publishers, he had decided to write for posterity. --George Ade / Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. --Phyllis Diller

..........The winds of change are always blowing.........Willie Nelson …..To All The Girls I've Loved Before

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle April 30, 2021, Wal-lie's ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: Spend the afternoon. You can't take it with you. --Annie Dillard

Cost of War:

• As of 4/29/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,125,652,358,929.

• As of 4/22/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,123,671,746,795.

• As of 4/29/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,033,540,501,779.

• As of 4/22/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,032,194,531,194.

• As of 4/29/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $848,965,283,317.

• As of 4/22/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $847,273,211,063.

• As of 4/29/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $348,583,036,396.

• As of 4/22/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $348,198,474,550.

• As of 4/29/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,356,742,156,094.

• As of 4/22/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,351,338,862,510.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Peace is the one condition of survival in this nuclear age. --Adlai Stevenson

Famous Last Words: In admiring me, you misplace the novelty. --William Congreve Love For Love

..........Only memories remain.........Willie Nelson …..Blue Eyes Cryin' in the Rain

Frisbeetariansim is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there. --George Carlin / Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. --Don Marquis / You know how sometimes you lie in bed at night and think, “What if the law of gravity just wears out and lets go and I drift into space?” Does that ever make you anxious? --Elaine May

May Peace inform your days

And Joy flood your nights

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Willie's ePistle

 Famous First Words: Honi soit qui mal y pense (Middle French) Shame on him who thinks evil of it. --Motto of the Order of the Garter.

Happy Birthday, Bill... I do desire we may be better strangers. --Shakespeare (As You Like It) / Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon! --Shakespeare (Timon of Athens)

..........So you think twenty-one is going to be a good year...........The Who …..1921

In peace there's nothing so becomes a man as modesty and humility. --William Shakespeare

It is a warmish (48°F) but cloudy Friday morning. The sky is not visible through the slate gray shelf which is adorned with puffy white wisps. There is little wind and the willow branches are quite lazy as they sway. Birds of various songs are discussing today's plans and a dog is barking somewhere in the distance. A fat robin sits on the fence surveying the yard and listening to the chatter. I sit in my room, Puck at my feet, watching the day begin and sipping sweet, creamy decaf. The whole house smells of brewing coffee and bath soap, in other words, of morning. A gust of wind or a leaping squirrel has made a single branch of Bruno's tree shake as if the whole tree is laughing at the morning...and I understand why.

Hope your weekend is “better than figs”, ePistliers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My wife and I have taken four photos together in the last two years, meanwhile we have ninety three photos of our dog sleeping since last week. --Submitted by #RHOZ

Friendship is constant in all other things save in the office and affairs of love. --Shakespeare (Much Ado About Nothing) / Most friendship is feigning, most loving is folly. --Shakespeare (As You Like It)

..........He's never been more alive...........The Who …..The Acid Queen

Trivia Questions: It is the 53^rd anniversary of the student take-over of Columbia University. Here's a hard quiz.

^ Know what caused the initial protest?

^^ Remember any of the epithets used to describe the situation?

^^^ Which campus organizations planned the protest?

^^^^ What was the Doonesbury character who was based on one of the protest leaders?

^^^^^ How did it work out?

Big Hello: Tanisi (ᑕᓂᓯ) - Cree https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It is an old error of man to forget to put quotation marks where he borrows from a woman's brain. --Anna Garlin Spencer --Submitted by MMS (Marginal Mennonite Society)

Max Picture of the Week: Max the share-ee

Fake Library Statistic of the Week: At any given moment 12% of librarians are hiding in the box drop. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Love sought, is good; but given unsought, is better. --Shakespeare (Twelfth Night) / There's beggary in the love that can be reckoned --Shakespeare (Antony & Cleopatra)

..........That deaf, dumb and blind kid sure plays a mean pinball...........The Who …..Pinball Wizard

Moonbeam: My job is to paint what I see, not what I know. --J M W Turner

Meditation Seed of the Week: What/Who did you make better today?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If I had to choose between bacon and coffee, I would slap the person who is making me choose. --Submitted by INRITH

Weekend of the Week: American Crossword Puzzle Days (23-25) -- The clue is “overloaded postman” and the number of letter is a sackful. / The solution to the toilet paper shortage is the same as the solution to a crossword puzzle...One square at a time.

Thou sodden-witted lord! Thou hast no more brain than I have in my elbows. --Shakespeare (Troilus & Cressida) / There is no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune. --Shakespeare (Henry IV, Part 1)

..........I'm your wicked Uncle Ernie...........The Who …..Fiddle About

^ The university had been expanding into the Morningside Heights neighborhood of Harlem at the expense of local housing and businesses for years. To placate the residents, Columbia proposed building a new gym to share with the community. Except the locals could access only 12 % of the gym and would be required to enter by the backdoor.

Almanac: It is Friday, April 23, 2021. The moon is full (Pink) tonight and is in Virgo. Content Creator Day, Day of Silence, English Language Day, English Muffin Day, Impossible Astronaut Day, Movie Theatre Day, National Lost Dog Awareness Day, Spanish Language Day, Talk Like Shakespeare Day, World Book & Copyright Day, and World Book Night. In Bermuda it is Peppercorn Day and in Turkey they celebrate National Sovereignty Day/Children's Day (1923).

Among those born on this day were Boris Godunov (1551), William Shakespeare (1564), Joseph Turner (1775), James Buchanan (1791), Stephen Douglas (1813), Max Planck (1858), Vladimir Nabokov (1899), Warren Spahn (1921), Shirley Temple Black (1928), George Steiner (1929), Estelle Harris (1936), Roy Orbison (1936), Lee Majors (1939), Sandra Dee (Alexandra Zuck, 1944), Bernadette Devlin (1947), Jan Hooks (1957), and John Oliver (1977).

On April twenty-third Jesus was crucified (according to Isaac Newton, 34), the first English order of knighthood was founded (Order of the Garter, 1348), the Boston Latin School was founded becoming the first US public institution (1635), Canada issued its first postage stamps (1851), the American Academy of Arts and Letters formed (1904), The North Sea Accords were signed (Denmark, Germany, England, France, the Netherlands, & Sweden, 1908), The National Urban League formed (1918), Bartok's 2nd Concerto for violin premiered (1939), US Supreme court ended race segregation on buses (1956), Ranger 4 became the first US satellite to reach the moon (1962), Baldwin's Blues for Mr Charlie premiered (1964), the United Methodist Church formed (1968), student strike seized the administrative offices at Columbia University (1968), New Coke debuted (1985), and Tommy premiered (1993).

Night Sky, 4/23: The Arch of Spring. As night descends, look high in the west for Pollux and Castor lined up almost horizontally depending on your latitude. These two stars, the heads of the Gemini twins, form the top of the enormous Arch of Spring. To their lower left is Procyon, the left end of the Arch. Farther to their lower right is the other end, formed by Menkalinan (Beta Aurigae) and then brilliant Capella. This spring the Arch has an intruder: little Mars. Tonight you'll find Mars the same distance lower right from the Castor-Pollux pair as it is lower left from Capella. The whole array sinks in the west through the evening. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Image of the Week: Liberty Hall, Lawrence Kansas

This Week: Saturday, April 24 – Eeyore's Birthday & International Sculpture Day & National Herb Day

Night Sky, 4/24: This evening Arcturus shines about three fists left of the Moon. And look below the Moon by hardly more than half that distance, and perhaps a bit left, to find Spica, the leading light of Virgo.

Sunday, April 25 – DNA Day & National Pet Parents Day & World Penguin Day

Monday, April 26 – Alien Day & Hug An Australian Day & National Pretzel Day & Audubon Day

Tuesday, April 27 – Babe Ruth Day & Morse Code Day & World Tapir Day

Wednesday, April 28 – Denim Day & Workers Memorial Day & International Guide Dogs Day

Night Sky, 4/28: Jupiter and Saturn (both in dim Capricornus) are low in the southeast just before and during early dawn. Jupiter grabs the eye at magnitude –2.1. Saturn glows a thirteenth as bright at magnitude +0.7. Catch Saturn a little more than a fist at arm's length to Jupiter's right or upper right before dawn grows too bright.

Thursday, April 29 – International Dance Day & Peace Rose Day & World Wish Day

Hanging and wiving goes by destiny. --Shakespeare (Merchant of Venice) / Get thee a good husband, and use him as he uses thee. --Shakespeare (All's Well That Ends Well)

..........Extra Extra! Read all about it...........The Who …..Miracle Cure

^^ Gym Crow, Gym Crow Door, Ivy Imperialism, Backdoor for Black Brothers

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The biggest change since Rodney King is the video quality. --Submitted by bu of ks

Moonbeam: Slavery cannot exist a day or an hour anywhere, unless it is supported by local police regulations. --Stephen Douglas

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie the sharer

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Yes. Subway is, believe it or not, the biggest restaurant chain in the country. And recently, they've closed more locations in the last year than any other restaurant, still leaving way too many locations. They apparently did very poorly during the pandemic, despite replacing their sneeze guard with an N95 guard. I guess during a pandemic, people just don't want a restaurant where the whole appeal is watching a stranger touch all of your food. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 4/17/21

A peace is of the nature of a conquest; for then both parties are subdued, and neither party loser. --William Shakespeare

Virginity breeds mites, much like a cheese. --Shakespeare (All's Well That Ends Well) / There live not three good men unhanged in England: and one of them is fat. --Shakespeare (Henry IV)

..........He hears but he cannot answer to your call...........The Who …..Go To The Mirror

^^^ Student Afro-American Society (SAS) and Students for a Democratic Society (SDS) were the organizers of the protest.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: People who claim that the most beautiful thing to watch is sleeping children have never watched their children wash the dishes. --Submitted by INRITH

Weird Word of the Week: Balter – To dance gracelessly, without particular art or skill, but perhaps with some enjoyment. --Middle English --Submitted by INRITH

It Ain't Easy Being Green Anecdote of the Week: I am slowing trying to find substitutes for the plastic I use in my life. So I decided to get a set of silicone lids that stretch over bowls, small plates, etc. thereby replacing tupperware and cheap throwaway imitation tupperware products. I couldn't find the lids in town so I ordered them. They arrived. In a small cardboard box...in wadded paper padding...in a smaller thin cardboard box...in a plastic bag. Accccck!

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Protect the wooden handles of tools. Spray the wood with a thin coat of Albert VO5 Hair Spray and let dry. The hair spray acts like shellac, preserving the wood. Alberto VO5® Hair Spray: Wacky Uses

Puzzle of the Week: Think of part of the body in seven letters. Add an "N" and rearrange all the letters to name two more parts of the body (none related to the original word). What body parts are these?

Mine eyes smell onions. --Shakespeare (All's Well That Ends Well) / Thine face is not worth sunburning. --Shakespeare (Henry V)

...........See me, feel me, touch me, heal me...........The Who …..Smash The Mirror

^^^^ Doonesbury's Megaphone Mark Slackmeyer was based on Mark Rudd, Columbia student, SDS National Secretary and Weather Underground founder.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Do British websites use biscuits? --Blondie Wasabi

Quote of the Week: ...hardhats are actually unisex. --Kamala Harris

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: iMAGICON (23-25, Minot, ND) A Stellar Time Home - iMagicon - Minot ND USA (imagiconnd.com)

Actual Science Convention of the Week: Physics, Dynamics and Molecular Modeling (22-23, NYC) Diverse Scholarly Events International Conference on Physics, Dynamics and Molecular Modeling ICPDMM in April 2021 in New York (waset.org)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: KNEECAP + N -> NAPE + NECK

Thy sin's not accidental, but a trade. --Shakespeare (Measure for Measure) / You Banbury Cheese! --Shakespeare (The Merry Wives of Windsor)

..........Loving life and becoming wise...........The Who …..Amazing Journey

^^^^^ Ultimately, the occupation gave students at Columbia more power, resulting in the creation of campus structures designed to give students a voice and a vote in university matters. Black students eventually were able to convince the university to add more black faculty members, admit more black students and create a Black Studies program. And in March 1969, the university dropped plans for the gym.

Recreating Famous Art With Anything You Can Find of the Week:

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Bigfoot saw me yesterday, but nobody believed him. --Submitted by INRITH

Today's Peace of History, April 23, 1971: In the final event of Operation Dewey Canyon III, nearly 1,000 Vietnam War veterans threw their combat ribbons, helmets, and uniforms on the U.S. Capitol steps along with toy weapons.

If manhood, good manhood, be not forgotten upon the face of the earth, then am I am shotten herring (a herring which has spawned). --Shakespeare (Henry IV)

..........Now the grown-ups have all gone away...........The Who …..Cousin Kevin

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle April 23, 2021, Willie's ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. ― Shirley Temple Black

Cost of War:

As of 4/22/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,123,671,746,795.

As of 4/15/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,121,748,656,588.

As of 4/22/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,032,194,531,194.

As of 4/15/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,030,887,508,037.

As of 4/22/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $847,273,211,063.

As of 4/15/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $845,629,816,753.

As of 4/22/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $348,198,474,550.

As of 4/15/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $347,824,931,391.

As of 4/22/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,351,338,862,510.

As of 4/15/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,346,091,659,622.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

...In thy right hand carry gentle peace, to silence envious tongues. --William Shakespeare

Famous Last Words: ...to the ends of the earth. --Jesus

..........Send your troubles dancing...........The Who …..Sensation ~~All of today's songs are from the rock opera Tommy by The Who

I was seeking for a fool when I found you. --Shakespeare (As You Like It) / Hell is empty and all the devils are here. --Shakespeare (The Tempest)

May Peace light upon thy back

And Joy be still upon you

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

An ePistle Like You*

 Famous First Words: Dans l'essaim nébuleux des constellations –Anatole France À la lumière (In the nebulous swarm of constellations)

Happy Birthday, Mr. Amis: Consciousness was upon him before he could get out of the way. --Kingsley Amis / If you can't annoy somebody, there is little point in writing. --Kingsley Amis

..........I'm gonna fish my life away..........Cool Papa Sadler …..Shady Spot By The River

Peace would be a fantastic product, So good that if it was for sale it would always be on backorder. --Unknown

It is a cloudy Friday morning. The sky is gravelly gray with little wind involved. Very green trees stand very still in the diminished light of a hidden sun. The idea of rain is palpable but no drops fall. The 49° F temperature denies the chill that is implied by gloom. The earth smells dry; an anticipation of spring rain rises in little whiffs with the dusty aroma. A robin moves in tiny hops across Bruno's lawn but the birdsong comes from unseen songster to the south.. A red headed woodpecker walks up the willow's truck and disappears. And I sit at my window, sipping creamy coffee, and watching it all with the same anticipation as the earth itself. Join me...

Hope your fun is squared on Foursquare Weekend, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I watched a documentary on mushrooms last night. That's probably how I'll watch all documentaries from now on. --Submitted by HPF

Death has this much to be said for it: You don't have to get out of bed for it. Wherever you happen to be, they bring it to you—free. --Kingsley Amis / Laziness has become the chief characteristic of journalism, displacing incompetence. --Kingsley Amis

….......I hate to see that evening sun go down.........Herbie Mann …..St Louis Blues

* Among Kingsley Amis' books is the title Take A Girl Like You

Trivia Questions: April is Donate Life Month

^ Any idea what three types of body parts can be donated?

^^ Care to guess how many life saving donations have been made since 1988?

^^^ How many men, women, and children are currently waiting for a life saving donation?

^^^^ About how many people die every day while waiting.

^^^^^ How many people can a single donor help?

Big Hello: Salute – Corsican https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When I'm having a bad day, I simply remind myself of one thing: Donald Trump isn't president, Then I cheer up. --Stephen King

Third Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Basically, English is what happens when Vikings learn Latin and use it to shout at Germans. --Submitted by gr of oh

Max Picture of the Week: Max is in the dog house

Some things you should know about this picture: a) He climbed into the dog crate himself. He was not put there by anyone else. b) He closed the door himself. c) He is barking for some human to give him dog treats.

Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 34% of librarians have repurposed all those old magazine boxes to hide boxes of wine throughout the library. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

It is no wonder that people are so horrible when they start their life as children. --Kingsley Amis / He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. --Kingsley Amis

..........Old dream maker, you heart breaker.........Henry Mancini …..Moon River

Moonbeam: It is possible to fly without motors, but not without knowledge and skill. --Wilbur Wright

Meditation Seed of the Week: Why not? What would happen?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If God hates gays, how come we're so cute?

Week of the Week: National Dance Week (16-25) --The owl's favorite dance is the hooooola. / Netflix is thinking of airing a new dance show for horses called So You Think You Can Prance?

It is natural and harmless in English to use a preposition to end a sentence with. --Kingsley Amis / When the bishop farted we were amused to hear about it. Should the plough boy find treasure we must be told. But when the plough boy farts..er...keep it to yourself. --Kingsley Amis

..........Softer than satin was the light.........Bobby Venton …..Blue Velvet

^ Organ, Eye, and Tissue can all be donated. What Can Be Donated | Organ Donor

Almanac: It is Friday, April 16, 2021. The moon will be new on the 20^th and is in Gemini. It is Emancipation Day, Foursquare Day, National Bean Counter Day, National Donate Life (Blue and Green) Day, National Healthcare Decisions Day, National Wear Your Pajamas To Work Day, National Orchid Day, Save The Elephant Day, and World Voice Day. Because it is the first workday after Income Taxes are due it is National Stress Awareness Day.

Among those born on this day were Clement XII (1652), John Hadley (1682), Giovanni Tupolo (1696), Ford Maddox Brown (1821),John A Neuhuys (1832), Anatole France (1844), Herbert Baxter Adams (1850), Wilbur Wright (1867), John Millington Synge (1871), Charlie Chaplin (1889), Marian Jordan (Molly McGee, 1891), Lily Pons (1904), Coby Molenaar (1906), William Stearn (1911), Peter Ustinov (1921), Kingsley Amis (1922), Henry Mancini (1924), Herbie Mann (1930), Edie Adams (1931), Bobby Vinton (1935), Cool Papa Sadler (1935), John DeLaFose (1939), Margrethe II (1940), Gerry Rafferty (1947), Ellen Barkin (1955), David Brown (1956), and Martin Lawrence (1965).

On April sixteenth Queen Anne knighted Isaac Newton (1705), Liszt's Mazeppa premiered (1854), Slavery was abolished in DC (1862), Annie Oakley set a record by shooting 100 clay targets in a row (1922), MLB first used numbers on their uniforms (Yankees, 1929), Fibber McGee & Molly first aired (1935), two giant pandas arrived in the US (Ling-Ling & Hsing-Hsing, 1972), Apollo 15 was launched (1972), and Arthur Ashe retired (1980).

Night Sky, 4/16: The waxing crescent Moon this evening forms a quadrilateral with Mars above it and Beta and fainter Zeta Tauri to the sides. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Image of the Week: Kalama is a crocheter. Cool.

This Week: Saturday, April 17 – Bat Appreciation Day & Herbalist Day & National Clean Out Your Medicine Cabinet Day

Sunday, April 18 – Animal Cracker Day & Pinata Day & World Amateur Radio Day

Night Sky, 4/18: Arcturus ascends the eastern sky, Capella (its close match for brightness) is coming down in the northwest. They stand at exactly the same height above your horizon at some moment between about 9 and 10 pm daylight-saving time, depending mostly on how far east or west you live in your time zone.

Monday, April 19 – Bicycle Day & National Garlic Day & National Poker Day

Tuesday, April 20 – Chinese Language Day & National Pot Smokers Day

Wednesday, April 21 – Bulldogs are Beautiful Day & Kindergarten Day & National Yellow Bat Day

Night Sky, 4/21: Lyrids Meteor Shower The Lyrids don't produce a whole lot of meteors, perhaps 10 to 15 per hour, but are more likely to include bright, dramatic fireballs than other major showers.

Thursday, April 22 – Earth Day & National Jelly Bean Day & Girl Scout Leaders Day

It's never pleasant to have one's unquestioning beliefs put in their historical context, as I know from experience, I can assure you. --Kingsley Amis / Wives and such are constantly filling up any refrigerator they have a claim on, even its ice-compartment, with irrelevant rubbish like food. --Kingsley Amis

..........Well, another crazy day.........Gerry Rafferty …..Baker Street

^^ 750,000 transplants have taken place since 1988.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: This year 4/20 falls on Taco Tuesday. This is it people. This is what we've been training for. --Submitted by sb of ks

Moonbeam: There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. --John Millington Synge

Late Night Snacks of the Week: This war’s been going on so long, Biden’s been trying to get the troops out since he was just ‘regular’ old. Now he’s ‘Mountain Dew Baja Blast Extreme’ old. --Stephen Colbert / “Biden is getting criticism from people who say if America leaves Afghanistan then it will become a failed state, and that is a real danger. But on the other hand, America has been there for 20 years — is it supposed to stay there forever? Because if that is going to be the case, then I mean, America should at least make Afghanistan a US state. And the good news with that is it would eliminate Afghanistan’s terrorism problem completely, because we all know that once terrorists are American, they’re not terrorists anymore — they are just frustrated citizens who are having a bad day.” — Trevor Noah / During his remarks, Biden announced that withdrawal would begin on May 1. When the troops get home, they’re gonna be like, ‘Why are all the bars closed?’ — Jimmy Fallon

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie, his Au Pair, the space needle, and obligatory rain clouds

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: The company, though, that is in the real middle of all this is Major League Baseball, right? Because now you're having Republicans coming out and saying they're not going to watch baseball games. It makes sense, of course, that baseball would be the center of a political logjam because baseball is basically the filibuster of sports. But it's...It's so strange to see what this has forced Republicans to do. They're so angry at Coke, even the Koch brothers have changed their name to the Pepsi brothers. --Peter Sagal Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me 4/10/21

Peace is cheaper. --unknown

The real trouble with liars...was that there could never be any guarantee against their occasionally telling the truth. --Kingsley Amis / A German wine label is one of the things life's too short for. --Kingsley Amis

..........Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right.........Gerry Rafferty …..Stuck In The Middle With You

^^^ 100,000 people are on transplant waiting lists.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Bono and the Edge walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Oh, no, not U2 again?”

Weird Word of the Week: Immensikoff – a fur-lined overcoat. World Wide Words: Immensikoff

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Kill plant lice on African violets. Spray Albert VO5 Hair Spray into a plastic bag (not directly onto the plant, Place the bag over the plant, secure shut with a twist tie, and let sit overnight. Alberto VO5® Hair Spray: Wacky Uses

Puzzle of the Week: This challenge came from Joseph Young of St. Cloud, MN. Take the singular and plural forms of a particular noun. Remove the first two letters of the singular form and you'll name a country. Remove one letter from inside the plural form to name another country. What words and countries are these? NPR Sunday Puzzler 12/10/17

If you want to behave better and feel better, the only absolutely certain method is drinking less. But to find out how to do that, you will have to find a more expert expert than I shall ever be. --Kingsley Amis / Cats are only human, they have their faults. --Kingsley Amis

...........When the moon played.........Lily Pons …..L'air des Clochettes (Lakmé)

^^^^ On average, 20 people die every day from the lack of available organs for transplant.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on Delta flight 983 from LA to Tokyo. --Submitted by INRITH

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Tulkon (16-18, Tulsa) –Where all who wander are not lost. Tulkon ~~On the other hand, if they're in Tulsa, they may actually be lost.

Actual Science Convention of the Week: International Conference on Mathematical Logic, Deduction and Reasoning (15-16, Cape Town) International Conference on Mathematical Logic, Deduction and Reasoning ICMLDR in April 2021 in Cape Town (waset.org)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Yeoman, yeomen --> Oman, Yemen

You want to finish the evening with your usual number of fingers, do any cutting-up, peel-slicing and the like before you have had more than a couple of drinks, preferably before your first. --Kingsley Amis / America takes her writers too seriously. --Kingsley Amis

..........I get no letters in the mail.......Bobby Vinton …..Mr Lonely

^^^^^ One deceased donor can save up to 8 lives through organ donation and can save and/or enhance more than 100 lives through tissue donation. Even Superheroes Need Help Sometimes - American Transplant Foundation

Recreating Famous Painting With Anything You Can Find of the Week:

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The sweet, small, clumsy feet of April came into the ragged meadow of my soul. --e e cummings

Today's Peace of History, April, 16, 1971: The Internal Revenue Service (IRS) estimated over 2,000 people openly refused to pay part or all of their income tax. “If a thousand [people] were not to pay their tax bills this year, that would not be a violent and bloody measure, as it would be to pay them and enable the state to commit violence and shed innocent blood.” --Henry David Thoreau on the Mexican War

There is no end to the ways in which nice things are nicer than nasty ones. --Kingsley Amis / Outside every fat man there was an even fatter man trying to close in. --Kingsley Amis

..........Well, it's goin' be rainin' outdoors.........Cool Papa Sadler …..Come On In My Kitchen

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle April 16, 2021, An ePistle Like You. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: Life – ride it until the wheels fall off. --Martin Lawrence

Cost of War:

As of 4/15/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,121,748,656,588.

As of 4/8/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,119,753,837,761.

As of 4/15/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,030,887,508,037.

As of 4/8/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,029,531,826,443.

As of 4/15/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $845,629,816,753.

As of 4/8/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $842,238,469,911.

As of 4/15/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $347,824,931,391.

As of 4/8/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $347,437,700,118.

As of 4/15/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,346,091,659,622.

As of 4/8/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,340,649,014,396.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

What the world needs is a group hug. --unknown

Famous Last Words: Where you go from here is a choice I leave to you. --final line from The Matrix released 4/16/99

..........I can only give you love that lasts forever..........Edie Adams …..That's All

No pleasure is worth giving up for the sake of two more years in a geriatric home at Weston-super-Mare. --Kingsley Amis / If you are using an adverb, you have got the verb wrong. --Kingsley Amis

May Peace give you strength

And Joy give you resilience

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: