ePistle eXam

Famous First Words: Look down, look down ..Work Song Les Miserables

Life's Big Questions: Why is the objective of golf to play the least amount of golf? / If you drop the soap, does the soap become dirty or does the floor become clean?

..........I guess you will never know..........The Million Dollar Quartet …..Reconsider Baby ~~"Million Dollar Quartet" is a recording of an impromptu jam session involving Elvis Presley, Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins, and Johnny Cash made on December 4, 1956, at the Sun Record Studios in Memphis, Tennessee.

A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. --Thomas Carlyle

It is a cold (23°F) Friday morning. Puck has been out to do his morning toilette and argue with a squirrel that ran up a utility pole and waved his fanny around. Now he sleeps on his pillow. I am drinking sweetened and creamed decaf ; it smells rich and the steam warms my nose. I sip and stare out the window, watching the wind blow, and listening for birdsong. There is a little breeze that moves around the nearly bare willow branches but little else is effected. Bruno has checked the perimeter and disappeared from the yard. Nothing is audible except the sound of a car motor some distance away. The sun is rising into an absolutely empty sky of clear blue. It spotlights the only vivid colors, the pastels, the blues and whites of the painted houses.. Mostly the trees and piles of leaves are brown against the dark green grass. From where I sit, warm and comfortable, it looks like a mighty fine day

Have a truly terrific time this weekend, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Charcuterie – because a whole generation raised on Lunchables is trying to be cool now. --Submitted by #RHOZ

If you wait for the waiter at a restaurant do you become the waiter too? / There is a fine line between a numerator and denominator, how come only a fraction of the people think that' funny?

..........It's just you I'm thinkin' of.........The Million Dollar Quartet …..Don't Be Cruel

Trivia Questions: Happy National Dice Day

^ The origin of dice is uncertain, do you know where the oldest dice were found?

^^ What shapes and sizes do dice come in?

^^^ Know the name for the dots that are on each side of a die?

^^^^ What is the most common number when rolling a pair of 6 sided dice?

^^^^^ What are Boxcars and/or Snake Eyes?

ePistlier Comment of the Week: Know how to use much less floss than 18 to 20 inches and still get the same cleaning done? Use a floss holder. I've been using one for years. --Submitted by tm of ks

Big Hello: Olá – Cape Verdean Creole https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Funniest Thing I Heard of the Week: I loved my mother, obviously, because of Stockholm Syndrome. --Jack Donaghy 30 Rock

Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 40% of American librarians were using their dual monitor set up at home on Thanksgiving with zoom on one while using the second to fact-check family and friends .https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Why do we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway? / Do jellyfish eat peanut butter?

..........Then you'll hear your heart calling.........The Million Dollar Quartet …..There's No Place Like Home

Moonbeam: Let the clean air blow the cobwebs from your body. Air is medicine. --Lillian Russell

Naturally Occurring Mandala of the Week: December birthstone topaz

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: ...working on a new form of government called “everyone pays taxes to Dolly Parton and she just kind of takes it from there” --Sarah Lazarus -Submitted by jm of ks

Week of the Week: Clerc-Gallaudet Week (3-10) --If a deaf child swears does his mother wash his hands with soap? / My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs. ~~The birthdays of Laurent Clerc and Thomas Hopkins Gallaudet are December 26, 1785 and December 10, 1787, respectively. Together Clerc and Gallaudet opened the first School for the Deaf in the US.

At the movie theater, which arm rest is mine? / Does this coffin come with a lifetime guarantee?

..........How I want to be in that number.........The Million Dollar Quartet …..When The Saints Go Marching In

^ The oldest known dice were actually discovered at Burnt City, a site of an archaeological dig in Iran,; they were found as part of a Backgammon set that was 5,000 years old!

Almanac: It is Friday, December 4, 2020. The moon was full (Beaver) last Monday and is in Leo. It is National Cookie Day and National Dice Day. Because it is the first Friday in December it is also National Salesperson Day and Faux Fur Friday. In Tonga they celebrate Topou I Day.

Among those born on this day were John Cotton (1584), Thomas Carlyle (1795), Michel Pignolet de Monteclair (1667), Lillian Russell (Helen Leonard, 1861), Kandinsky (1866), Richard Roland Holst (1868), Deanna Durbin (1921), Russell Rogers (Lawrence, KS 1928), Wink Martindale (1934), Max Baer, Jr. (1937), Chris Hillman (1942), Jeff Bridges (1949), Marisa Tomei (1964), and Tyra Banks (1973).

On December fourth Karel the Great became king of all France (771), the last Council of Trent session was held (1563), Jean Racine's Alexandre le Grand premiered (Paris, 1665), Pennsylvania held its first General Assembly (1682), the Observer (the world's oldest Sunday newspaper) was first published (UK, 1791), the horse-drawn mower was patented (1812), the Whig Party held its first national convention (PA, 1836), Polk was elected 11th president (1844), Boss Tweed escaped from jail (1875), the 56th Congress convened (1899), the Ku Klux Klan received a charter (GA, 1915), Wilson became the first president to travel outside the US (1918), the US Senate approved US participation in the United Nations (1945), MOMA hung Matisse's Le Bateau upside down (for 47 days, 1961), Liz Taylor married for the seventh time (John Warner, 1976), China adopted its constitution (1982), Les Miserables opened in London (1985), the Judds gave their last concert (1991), and Pan Am ceased flying (1991).

Night Sky, 12/4: Jupiter and Saturn, now 1.8° apart, continue closing toward their record-breaking conjunction 0.1° apart on December 21st. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Max Picture of the Week: Max and mom with ice cream in the car at the movies

This Week: Saturday, December 5 – Bartender Appreciation Day & Earmuff Day aka Chester Greenwood Day

Sunday, December 6 – Mitten Tree Day & National Pawnbrokers Day

Night Sky, 12/6 : As the stars come out, the Cassiopeia W stands on end (its fainter end) very high in the northeast. Watch Cas turn around to become a flattened M, higher in the north, by late evening.

Monday, December 7 – National Cotton Candy Day & Bruce's New Heart Day

Tuesday, December 8 – National Day of Lard & Toilet Paper Appreciation Day

Wednesday, December 9 – Cremation Day & Weary Willie Day

Night Sky, 12/9 : Vega still shines brightly well up in the west-northwest after dark. The brightest star above it is Deneb, the head of the big Northern Cross, which is made of the brightest stars of Cygnus. At nightfall the shaft of the cross extends lower left from Deneb. By about 10 pm, it plants itself more or less upright on the northwest horizon.

Thursday, December 10 – Dewey Decimal System Day & Human Rights Day & Jane Addams Day

Why do prison buses have emergency exits? / How far east can you go before you're heading west?

..........Ye who are weary come home.........The Million Dollar Quartet …..Softly and Tenderly

^^ While everyone has used a typical six-sided dice when playing craps at a casino or a board game like Yahtzee at home, there are also weird shaped dice that are used in other games. Unusual shapes used to create dice include an octahedron (8-sided) , deltohedron (10-sided), dodecahedron (12-sided), and icosahedron (20-sided). Oddly shaped dice are often used in popular board games such as Dungeons and Dragons.

'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Keep Calm and Flip the Senate

Moonbeam: Once you plant seeds of success, your tree will bear fierce fruit, --Tyra Banks

Late Night Snacks of the Week: That is cold. Sending the president of the United States to voicemail like he’s spam? — Trevor Noah / It’s so weird that they didn’t find evidence of the very thing they never backed up with any evidence.” — James Corden / When Trump heard about William Barr, he was so mad, he ordered William Barr to prosecute William Barr. — Jimmy Fallon / Oh, man. If Bill Barr had a neck, Trump would totally be wringing it right now. — Jimmy Kimmel / On the left, you see all of the potential pardon-getters, and on the right, there’s a list of crimes, like money laundering, tax evasion and snorting coke off the last living black rhino. You have to match the person to their crime, and there are no wrong answers.” — Stephen Colbert

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Who's a good boy?

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: According to them, people are just tired after so many months of wearing pajamas and sweatpants all day. And they want to go back to the way things used to be - you know, haphazardly throwing on button-up chinos and running out the door only to discover a massive Sriracha stain on your collar seconds before walking into the office. People miss that. The CEO of Bloomingdale says people are buying more designer shoes and handbags right now than this time they were last year, which is weird because no one's going anywhere. so I guess they just want to impress their Keurig machines and their confused pets. / Oh, I think - what did you say, shoes and handbags? Because those are the only things that still fit after sitting around...For seven months... --Peter Sagal & Alonso Bodden Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me 11/28/20

Make yourself an honest man, and then you may be sure there is one less rascal in the world --Thomas Carlyle

If you dug a hole through the center of the earth and through it and jumped in, would you stay at the center because of gravity? / Is there a time limit on fortune cookie predictions?

..........No trouble, trouble I see.........The Million Dollar Quartet …..Peace in the Valley

^^^ The dots on each side of the dice are known as “pips”. On traditional dice, there are six sides with pips used to represent one, two, three, four, five, and six. Pips are usually colored black on white dice, and white on dice of other colors, although colored pips are also common.

Worthless Fact of the Week: Scallops may look like simple creatures, but the seafood delicacy has 200 eyes that function remarkably like a telescope, using living mirrors to focus light.

Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'll probably get whichever vaccine has the funnier Super Bowl ad. --Ken Jennings --Submitted by INRITH

Weird Word of the Week: Umbriferous – shady Weird And Wonderful Words | Lexico

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Store crafts. Organize paint brushes, ribbons, beads, glues, and strings in Ziploc Storage Bags. Ziploc® Storage Bags: Wacky Uses

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: But if Biden has an all woman communications team, what's next? Woman doctors? Woman lawyers? Woman mothers? The Womandalorian? That's not my America. --The Volatile Mermaid --Submitted by mja of ks

When French people swear, do they say, “pardon my English? / Does the hair on your arms get split ends?

...........you're the most.........The Million Dollar Quartet …..Too Much Monkey Business

^^^^ For the traditional six-sided dice, opposite faces are arranged to always add up to seven. One and six, two and five, and three and four each make combinations of seven. This might explain why seven is the most common number when rolling two dice. Next time you’re looking to roll a seven, just know that the odds are in your favor.

Puzzle of the Week: This challenge came from Alan Hochbaum of Duluth, Ga. Name a marine animal in two words. Remove two consecutive letters in the name and read the resulting string of letters in order from left to right. You'll name a major American city. What is it? Answer Below ~~Puzzle from NPR Sunday Puzzle 11/22

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm proud of our grown children for many reasons, but this week it's because not one of them is in need of a presidential pardon. Thanks, kids. --Connie Schultz submitted by eg of mt

Pro Tip of the Week: If you buy a discounted advent calendar the day after Christmas, it will countdown to inauguration day.

Science Fiction Joke of the Week: If I'm being subjective, the greatest sci-fi series of all time is Dr. Who. But if I'm being objective, it's Dr. Whom.

Actual Science Joke of the Week: One tectonic plate bumped into another and said, “Sorry, my fault”.

Why is an alarm clock going “off” when it is actually turning on? / Why do doctors call what they do practice?

..........Between a doctor and a lawyer man.........The Million Dollar Quartet …..Brown Eyed Handsome Man

^^^^^ On a pair of 6-sided dice, boxcars are double sixes and snake eyes are double ones.

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Sea turtle = Seattle

Recreating Famous Painting With Anything You Can Find of the Week: Happy Birthday, Wassily...

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I like dragons and maybe three people.

Today's Peace of History, December 4, 1833: The Ameican Anti-Slavery Society was formed by Arthur and Lewis Tappan. The Anti-Slavery Society produced The Slave's Friend, a monthly pamphlet of Christian and abolitionist poems, songs, and stories for children.

How do Keep Off The Grass signs get there? / What if there are no hypothetical situations?

..........I'm breezing high.........The Million Dollar Quartet …..Rip It Up

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle December 4, 2020, ePistle eXam. Queries, Quips, and Quiet Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: God made me a signer, and I just sang. --Deanna Durbin

Cost of War:

As of 12/3/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,084,184,665,745.

As of 11/26/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,082,226,087,687.

As of 12/3/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,005,358,427,496.

As of 11/26/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,004,027,363,515.

As of 12/3/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $813,536,193,771.

As of 11/26/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $811,862,844,570.

As of 12/3/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $340,530,928,679.

As of 11/26/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $340,150,628,403.

As of 12/3/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,243,610,901,747.

As of 11/26/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,238,267,794,475.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Do the duty which lies nearest to you, the second duty will then become clearer. Thomas Carlyle

Famous Last Words: Et de votre douleur et de mon souvenir. --Jean Racine Alexandre le Grand (And your pain and my memory)

..........Still I can't let go.........The Million Dollar Quartet …..End of the Road

Does expecting the unexpected make it the unexpected the expected? / How do they get Teflon to stick to the pan?

May Peace provide answers

And Joy reasons

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: