Famous
First Words: The Congress shall have power to
lay and collect taxes on incomes... US
Constitution 16th Amendment
It
is Be Nice to New Jersey Week (7-13). Well, not in my ePistle. Do
you know what they call someone who dies in political traffic? A
corpus Christie, that's what. / I believe there's an intelligence to
the universe, with the exception of certain parts of New Jersey.
--Woody Allen
..........Sweet,
wonderful you.........Christine McVie (Fleetwood Mac) …..You Make
Loving Fun
With
firm faith in our hearts, to sustain us along the hard road to
victory, we will find our way to a secure peace, for the ultimate
benefit of all humanity.
It
is a cool (67°F) Friday morning. The sky is clear blue without
cloud or even tattered jet trail. A variety of bird song and the
lone buzzing of an early cicada fill the day with music. There is no
breeze, no moving branches, nor whipping willows; only the movement
of rabbits – at least half a dozen on our block – darting
noiselessly across lawns and streets and under cars and around trash
barrels. Puck cheers them on with staccato barks and tugs at the
leash. Dew shines on the grass as if last night had rained diamonds
and pearls; it gives a dream like quality to the slanting yellow sun.
We finish our trip around the block and return to the house and the
smell of fresh brewed coffee. Puck and Justice wait while I pour milk
into their saucers but don't stick around while I sweeten and cream
my cup. So, quiet now, I sit here sipping ambition and writing to
you. O, what a morning.
Hope
your weekend is simply wonderful, ePistliers.
There
are no gays in New Jersey because gay people have taste. / Fat cows
are known to vacation in Moo Jersey. / New Jersey – Where even the
governor looks like a mobster.
Best
of the British Revolutionary Air Force Jokes: Most people don't know
this, but the band Jefferson Airplane was named after the plane
President Thomas Jefferson flew in the war. --ae of mo / LaGuardia
Airport: Under Construction since 1776.
..........Although
I'm not making plans.........Christine McVie (Fleetwood Mac)
…..Little Lies
Trivia
Questions: Happy Birthday, Josiah Wedgewood, love the pottery.
^
About what year did Wedgwood begin his company?
^^
Know who Josiah's famous grandson was?
^^^
How about the kind of the stoneware Wedgwood perfected?
^^^^
Who commissioned the “Frog” Service with 1,244 views of Great
Britain on 952 pieces of Queen's Ware Service?
^^^^^
Josiah was elected into the Royal Society in 1783 for inventing what?
Funniest
Thing I Read of the Week: Day 12 Without
Chocolate: Lost hearing in my left eye. --submitted by sjrd of ks
Fake
Library Statistic of the Week:
No
matter where a librarian goes they are never more than 8 seconds away
from being asked a question.
https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
The
only thing that grows in Newark is the crime rate. Wrong, this
swelling on my head from getting jacked is growing too. / New Jersey:
Home of High Taxes and Fat Government
Best
of the British Revolutionary Air Force Jokes: My Dearest Rose, I'm
afraid I must be the bearer of bad news. My flight has already been
delayed a fortnight, and I fear it will be longer. The army has shut
down the airport and the airplane will not be invented for 6 score
and 7 years from now. --ae of mo
..........Can
I handle the seasons of my life.........Christine McVie (Fleetwood
Mac) …..Landslide
Moonbeam:
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. --Milton Berle
Something
to Think About of the Week: Hen and Chicks
Big
Hello: 'la ora na
- Tahitian https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Next
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I
always wanted to be a Gregorian monk, but I never got the chants.
--Submitted by msh of bc
Week
of the Week: Nude Recreation Weekend
(8-14) A gentleman who is new to a Philosophical Nudist colony, is
sitting on the patio when one of the founding members asks, “Have
you read Marx?” The new colonist replies, “Indeed, I think it's
the wicker furniture”.
Why
does California have the most lawyers and New Jersey the most toxic
waste dumps. Because New Jersey got first pick. / I hear that Chris
Christie's nickname is Cake Boss.
Best
of the British Revolutionary Air Force Jokes: Imagine if you will the
Revolutionary War. You're at the airport, eating your hamberder,
drinking your covfefe and the British attack.
..........I'll
speak a little louder, I'll even shout.........Christine McVie
(Fleetwood Mac) …..Everywhere
^
Wedgwood opened his business in 1759 is the Ivy House Works in
Burslem.
Almanac:
It is Friday, July 12, 2019. The moon will be full (Buck) next
Tuesday. It is Pecan Pie Day, Collector Car
Appreciation Day, and Simplicity Day. In the Central
African Republic, Chad, and the Congo it is Independence Day (1960).
Northern Ireland commemorates Orangeman's Day (1690); and if there
were still a Rhodesia it would be Rhodes Day.
Among
those born on this day were Julius Ceasar (100
BCE), Josiah Wedgewood (1730), George Eastman (1854), Oscar
Hammerstein II (1895), Buckminster Fuller (1895), Milton Berle
(1908), Andrew Wyeth (1917), Van Cliburn (1934), Bill Cosby (1937),
Christie McVie (1943), and Cheryl Ladd (1951).
On
July twelfth Henry VIII married Catherine Parr (1543), the first
known flower show was held (Ireland, 1817), the 16th amendment was
approved and sent to the states (Income tax, 1909), and the major
league Major League Baseball Players Association was founded (1954).
Night
Sky, 7/12:
The
Moon this evening forms a triangle with Jupiter to its lower left and
Antares under it.
http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max
Picture of the Week:
Max re-imagines great art: Norman Rockwell's Triple
Self Portrait
This
Week: Saturday, July 13 –
Embrace Your Geekness Day & Gruntled Workers Day
Night
Sky, 7/13: The
Moon and Jupiter cross the sky together tonight. Jupiter is 1,700
times farther than the Moon at this month's pair up of the two. In
fact the Moon is roughly the size of Jupiter's own four Galilean
moons, mere pinpoints as seen in good, steadily braced binoculars or
a small scope. This evening for North America, all four appear on
Jupiter's celestial west side relatively close to the planet.
Sunday,
July 14 – Bastille Day & International Nude Day
Monday,
July 15 – Be a Dork Day & National Get Out of the
Doghouse Day & St Swithin's Day**
Night
Sky, 7/15: Venus remains very low in the
bright dawn. Uranus in Aries is seen in the east just before the
first sign of dawn. Saturn is the pale yellowish "star"
low in the southeast after dark. It's in the Sagittarius Teapot.
**In
popular belief, if it rains on St. Swithin's Day, it will rain for 40
days, but if it is fair, 40 days of fair weather will follow.
Tuesday,
July 16 – World Snake Day
Wednesday,
July 17 – National Hot Dog Day & World Emoji Day
Thursday,
July 18 – National Caviar Day & Nelson Mandela
International Day
There
was a big fire in the football dorms at Rutgers. It destroyed 20
books, 15 of which had not yet been colored. / New Jersey is
mentioned in the original Star Wars movie, “you will never find a
more wretched hive of scum and villainy”.
Best
of the British Revolutionary Air Force Jokes:Breaking News:
Cornwallis Surrenders Airport destroyed, Lord Cornwallis says troops
have to swim home.
..........Now
you've got me running, running, running for cover.........Christine
McVie (Fleetwood Mac) …..Say You Love Me
^^
Charles Darwin was the son of Susannah Wedgwood Darwin. Charles was
their 5th child.
'Nother
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: “Took over the airports.”
Just when I think I have explored the outer limits of Donald Trump's
melting intellect, new vistas of stupidity open before me. --Stephen
King
Moonbeam:
Laughter is an instant vacation. --Milton Berle
Classic
Late Night Snacks of the Week: (July 12, 2013) The US
Government had a $116.5 billion surplus in June. Officials say they
are now conducting an investigation to see what went wrong. --Jay
Leno / Richard Simmons is 65 today. For some reason middle-aged
women love Richard Simmons. He is so beloved by middle-aged women,
they recently made him an honorary cat. --Craig Ferguson / Jay-Z
says that he and President Obama text each other regularly. In one
text, Jay-Z was like, “What's it like being the most powerful
person in the world?” And Obama was like, “I dunno. Ask
Beyonce.” --Jimmy Fallon
Not
So Late Night Snacks of the Week: As
researcher Michael Veale puts it, some words, such as the common
abbreviation of the name Richard, are harmless in certain contexts.
But in other cases, parents might not want them used and will be
flagged by certain types of program. It seems that after so many
years of being plagued by dirty-minded 11-year-old boys, the Internet
has turned into one. Who can't or won't distinguish whether Charity
Buttkiss (ph) is a woman's name or just a very particular request on
GoFundMe. --Adam Burke Wait, Wait, Don't
Tell Me
7/6/19
If
we do not want to die together in war, we must learn to live together
in peace.
Rider
University banned the wave from the bleachers at basketball games
after two students drowned last year. / It's a little known fact,
Chris Christie is a third cousin of Jabba the Hutt.
Best
of the British Revolutionary Air Force Jokes:Come on, didn't you
learn about the Battle of the Baggage Claim in school. Many
Lives were lost. And Bags too.
..........So
slip your hand inside of my glove.........Christine McVie (Fleetwood
Mac) …..Hold Me
^^^
Jasperware was the product of years of painstaking experiments. It
was in 1772 that Josiah Wedgwood started his quest for the new
ceramic material and not until November 1774 that he made his first
bas-relief figures. Its name derives from the fact that it resembles
the natural stone jasper in its hardness.
Worthless
Fact of the Week: Catherine
Parr, Henry the VIII's last wife, was actually likely named after
Henry’s first wife, Catherine of Aragon. Parr’s mother served as
lady-in-waiting to the first Queen Catherine. In turn, the older
queen served as godmother to baby Catherine. Thus, Henry VIII’s
long marital career comes to a full and creepy circle.
Wicked
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: We
live in a town so small the main drag is a transvestite.
Preantepenultimate
Funnieset Thing I Read of the Week:
I'm not saying it's hot outside but two hobbits just threw a ring
into my backyard. --RHOZ
Scientific
Discovery of the Week: Mosquitoes are
not heavy enough to trigger a Venus Flytrap.
Wonderful
Word of the Week:
Petrichor – the smell of earth after rain. --Submitted by ksz of
ks https://www.dictionary.com/browse/petrichor
Wacky
Uses for Common Products:
Remove rust spots from a cast-iron skillet. Apply Wesson Vegetable
Oil, let stand, then wipe thoroughly. Repeat if necessary.
http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wesson.html
All
the trees in Pennsylvania lean towards the east because New Jersey
sucks. / The difference between a Rider University Diploma and toilet
paper is $80,000.
Best
of the British Revolutionary Air Force Jokes: One
of the prized possessions in my family is this commemorative postcard
of the Lexington, Va. militia occupying the terminal at DCA in 1777.
--Keith Gaddie
...........And
I smile whenever you're around.........Christine McVie (Fleetwood
Mac) …..Got A Hold On Me
^^^^
Catherine II, Empress of Russia commissioned the Frog Service ware.
The popular name 'Frog' Service comes from the green frog crest that
appeared on every piece. The frog was chosen to represent the new
palace being built by Catherine II when the service was first
commissioned; the site of the palace was Kekerekeksinensky or 'La
Grenouillère' (the frog marsh) near Petrodvorets. ~~So why would
the Russian empress want 1,244 scenes of Great Britain?
Antepenultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If
you suck at playing the trumpet, that's probably why. --Submitted by
msh of bc
Penultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Men
never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from
religious conviction. --Blaise Pascal
Science
Fiction Convention of the Week:
North American Discworld Convention 2019 (12-15, Los Angeles) It's
all about Holy Wood and all the glory of Moving Pictures.
https://nadwcon2019.org/
Actual
Science Convention of the Week:
22nd
GRG - 22nd
International Conference on General Relativity and Gravitation.
(7-12, Valencia, Spain) regarded
as the most important international conferences for the
gravitational-wave detection community
https://gr22amaldi13.com/
Puck
the Brave Episode of the Week:
Here's our fearless Puck practicing the tango in the case of the
Dancing Dachshund.
Princeton
changed their uniforms to orange so they can play the game, direct
traffic, and pick up trash without changing. / Rutgers had to disband
the water polo team after the horses drowned.
Best
of the British Revolutionary Air Force Jokes: Something's wrong. Why
did they leave the airports out of Hamilton?
..........Who's
to say what's right.........Christine McVie (Fleetwood Mac) …..World
Turning
^^^^^
The pyrometer is used to measure the shrinkage of clay during firing,
indicating temperatures and heat within the bottle oven. Before
Josiah Wedgwood invented the Pyrometer, the only way the temperature
inside the ovens could be judged was by carefully watching the color
of the flames and by the skill and experience of the kiln men. The
Pyrometer took all the guesswork out of determining the heat of the
kilns.
Month
of the Week: July is National Hot Dog
Month. What's the difference between a Royals Stadium hot dog and a
Wiggly Field Hot Dog. You can buy a Royal's hot dog in October. /
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A Hollow-weenie.
Final
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I
don't care about Disney lying about Prince Charming. I'm more upset
about forest creatures and their unwillingness to clean my house.
--Submitted by cs of ks
Grammar
Joke of the Week: Typechondriac,
n. --one who compulsively checks his or her writing out of fear of
typos.
Today's
Peace of History, July 12, 1920:
Lithuania & USSR signed a peace
treaty, Lithuania became an independent republic.
Apparently,
the Rutgers football team crossed the road because it was easier than
crossing the goal line. / On the back of each Rider University
diploma it says “Will Work For Food”.
Best
of the British Revolutionary Air Force Jokes: Little-Known
Fact: We won because so many British soldiers couldn't fit their
muskets in the overhead bin on their flight over.
..........like
the kind you find at the end of the rainbow.........Christine McVie
(Fleetwood Mac) …..As Long As You Follow
Masthead
of the Week:
Friday ePistle July 12, 2019, Simply ePistle. Online at:
http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/
Laughs, Love, and Revolutionary War Aircraft. Exclusive editor:
Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam:
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands.
--Milton Berle
Cost
of War:
As
of 7/11/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,939,966,891,510.
As
of 7/4/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,937,992,648,741.
As
of 7/11/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $907,346,494,300.
As
of 7/4/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $906,004,516,485.
As
of 7/11/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $690,321,485,897.
As
of 7/4/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $688,634,337,579.
As
of 7/11/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $312,527,595,490.
As
of 7/4/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $312,144,125,060.
As
of 7/11/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,850,163,525,470.
As
of 7/4/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,844,776,398,886.
All
will concede that in order to have good neighbors, we must also be
good neighbors. That applies in every field of human endeavor. --UN
History: 7
Quotes from 70 years ago
..........You've
got a way of lifting me up.........Christine McVie (Fleetwood Mac)
…..Love In Store
Unlike
Hoboken, yogurt has an active living culture. / You can get a Seton
Hall alum to laugh all weekend if you tell 'em a joke on Monday.
Famous
Last Words: Then fall Caesar. Julius Caesar
(According to Shakespeare)
May
Peace simplify your relationship
And
Joy simplify your responsibilities
prairie
mama
christine
Last
Laugh:
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