Friday, July 5, 2019

Blasted ePistle


Famous First Words: AN ACT To diminish the causes of labor disputes... National Labor Relations Act (aka The Wagner Act)
Happy Workaholic Day, I guess. I'm a recovering workaholic. I can't touch even light work. I help an old lady with a bag of groceries –boom!--I'm in the Peace Corps.
..........Lift me up so I can see.........Robbie Robertson …..Shine Your Light
In a time of deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act. --George Orwell
It is an ambivalent Friday morning. It looks like rain for a while with low lying dark clouds that spits warm drops and then the sun comes out and it looks like a lush summer day. The sky is mostly overcast and gray but... The foliage is green and thick and summery. A little breeze swishes around the willow branches but the pine and oak are still, waiting for the day to decide. Birds are out chirping their opinion about how the morning should go and fluttering about the yard and street. Busy, busy, busy. The driveway smells of wet concrete but there is not enough rain to raise damp soil scents in the yard. Puck takes care of business quickly and begins to bark at unseen enemies on other people's lawns.** But at last the chores are done, I have a fresh cup of sweetened and creamed coffee, and I'm writing to you. Great morning, after all.
**We walk quickly because we have errands that must be run before we can epistle. When the lady at the bank created an account for Jeff, she attached his debit card to my account and cyber mayhem resulted. A second trip to the bank and it's all taken care of, even my phone payment which got mixed up in it all.
Hope your weekend explodes in fun, ePistliers.
TGFO (Thank God the Fireworks are Over). Firecrackers are too dangerous, dear. We'll celebrate July 4th by making our own firecrackers. We'll put spicy jalapeno and cayenne pepper dip on whole wheat crackers. --A Bacall
..........Don't need money, don't take fame.........Huey Lewis …..The Power of Love
Trivia Questions: It's Caribbean Day!!
^ About how many countries are there in the Caribbean?
^^ What's the smallest Caribbean island?
^^^ How about the largest?
^^^^ Know where or how it got it's name?
^^^^^ Which island is the most popular tourist destination?
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us. --Bill Watterson
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 80% of Technical Services Department meetings are convened around a jigsaw puzzle. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
TGFO: One of Those Big Questions: Do bomb-pops actually taste like freedom? / You may be a redneck if your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand. --Jeff Foxworthy
..........and you ask about the weather.........Robbie Robertson and the Band …..Rag Mama Rag
Moonbeam: What made women's labor particularly attractive to the capitalists was not only its lower price but also the greater submissiveness of women. --Clara Zetkin
Something to Think About of the Week: Human Eye ...Each person’s life is like a mandala – a vast, limitless circle. We stand in the center of our own circle, and everything we see, hear, and think forms the mandala of our life. --Pema Chödrön

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I just watched 'Tidying Up'. If I threw away everything in my kitchen that didn't bring me joy, all I'd have left is a corkscrew and an ice cream scoop.
Week of the Week: Roswell UFO Days (5-7) –UFO Hacks: If you find a green alien, wait until it's ripe / I'll have you know, I've been to Roswell twice, and have yet to be abducted.
TGFO: Bertha's mother told her to have a safe 4th of July so she put condoms on all her bottle rockets. / The fireworks begin today. Each diploma is a lighted match. Each one of you is a fuse. --Ed Koch
..........My mini bar's empty, but I'm still alive.........Huey Lewis & the News …..Whole Lotta Lovin'
^ There are around 700 islands in the Caribbean many of them uninhabited. There are 30 different political divisions including independent countries and dependent territories.
Almanac: It is Friday, July 5, 2019. The moon was new last Tuesday and is in Leo. It is Workaholics Day (not the television show) and Bikini Day (not the nuclear test site). In Algeria it is Independence Day (1962), Isle of Man has celebrated Tynwald Day since 1266, Laos has the Boun Festival, Rwanda commemorates Peace & National Unity Day, and finally, Venezuela also celebrates Independence Day (1811).
Among those born on this day were Stamford Raffles (1781), Phineas T. Barnum (1810), Clara Zetkin (1857), Jean Cocteau (1990), Henry Cabot Lodge (1909), Warren Oates (1928), Katherine Helmond (1929), Robbie Robertson (1944), Julie Nixon Eisenhower (1948), and Hewy Lewis (1951).
On July fifth the US recorded its first tornado (Essex, MA, 1643), Thomas Cook opened his first travel agency (1841), Booth founded the Salvation Army (1865), the National Labor Relations Act was signed into law (1935), DiMaggio hit his first grand slam (1937), NYC transit fare was raised from 15 to 20 cents (1966), and the 26th amendment was ratified (18 year old to vote, 1971).
Night Sky, 7/5: The Big Dipper, high in the northwest after dark, is starting to turn around to "scoop up water" through the evenings of summer and early fall. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max Picture of the Week: Max re-imagines Great Art: the Thinker

This Week: Saturday, July 6 – International Cherry Pit Spitting Day & Hand Roll Day & Hop A Park Day The Tour de France begins
Night Sky, 7/6: Three doubles at the top of Scorpius. The head of Scorpius — the vertical row of three stars to the right of Jupiter and Antares — is highest in the south after dark this week. The brightest of the three is Delta (δ) Scorpii, the one in the middle. The top star of the row is Beta (ß) Scorpii, a fine double star for telescopes. Just 1° below Beta is the very wide naked-eye pair Omega1 and Omega2 Scorpii, not quite vertical. Binoculars show their slight color difference. They're spectral types B9 and G2. Left of Beta by 1.6° is Nu Scorpii, another fine telescopic double. Or rather triple. High power in good seeing reveals that Nu's brighter component itself is a close binary, separation 2 arcseconds.
Sunday, July 7 – Chocolate Day & Global Forgiveness Day & Tell The Truth Day
Monday, July 8 – SCUD (Savor the Comic, Unplug the Drama) Day
Tuesday, July 9 – National No Bra Day
Night Sky, 7/9: Saturn will be well placed for observation, in the constellation Sagittarius. It will be visible for much of the night, reaching its highest point in the sky at around midnight local time. This optimal positioning occurs when Saturn is almost directly opposite the Sun in the sky. https://in-the-sky.org/news.php?id=20190709_12_100
Wednesday, July 10 – Teddy Bear's Picnic Day & Don't Step On A Bee Day
Thursday, July 11 – Cheer Up the Lonely Day & National Rainier Cherries Day

..........And I'm pushin' age seventy three.........Robbie Robertson and the Band …..Rockin' Chair
^^ Of the populated islands, Montserrat has the fewest people at around 5,000. At 5.2 square kilometers, Isla Mujeres is the smallest in area.
'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Schrodinger's Library: a place that nobody uses and is obsolete (because everything is online) while at the same time is full of young families, story times, book clubs, students, and people that need the space and access to computers, reading materials, and information. --The Library Defense Network Submitted by gr of oh
Moonbeam: True Americanism is opposed utterly to any political divisions resting on race and religion. --Henry Cabot Lodge
Late Night Snacks of the Week: This is the 22nd accusation of sexual misconduct against Donald Drumpf. Twenty-two! If I had a dollar for every person Drumpf allegedly sexually harassed or assaulted, I would be doing better than any of his businesses. --Samantha Bee / If someone asks you, ‘Did you rape that woman?’ and you say ‘No, she’s not my type,’ that’s not a defense. That’s a confession. --Seth Meyers / Mr President, you’re not fooling anybody. We all remember that you ran on a racist, anti-immigration platform and you’re still running on it today. At this point, the only family separation America wants to see is yours from the White House. --Stephen Colbert / A lot of the time it’s the squeaky-clean person who has the darkest secrets. I wouldn’t be surprised if we found out that Mike Pence has a secret S&M diaper fetish. --Trevor Noah / President Drumpf kicked off his 2020 comedy tour last night in Orlando. Drumpf was on fire, or at least, his pants were. He jumped from lie to lie, from hot topic to hot topic, like Joy Behar on Adderall. --Jimmy Kimmel
Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: A company called CannaHorse is making weed products for horses, even though there's nothing worse than, like, a white horse who thinks dreads in its mane are OK. The people at CannaHorse say this is for medicinal purposes. But then again, that's what your 22-year-old cousin with glaucoma says. Horses everywhere hear this news, and they're like, great, great, could've used this the day you nailed my shoes on. --Peter Sagal Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me 6/29/19
If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear. --George Orwell
TGFO: Hope your July 4th fireworks caused less personal injury than your July 4th alcohol consumption. / Bullets and fireworks are the only things that do their job after they've been fired.
..........Some days won't end ever.........Huey Lewis and the News …..Workin' for a Livin'
^^^ Cuba is the largest island at 105,806 km2 . At 11,242,000 Cuba is also the largest in population.
Worthless Fact of the Week: Cook's First Tour: On 9 June 1841 a 32-year old cabinet-maker named Thomas Cook walked from his home in Market Harborough to the nearby town of Leicester to attend a temperance meeting. At the meeting, Thomas suggested that a special train be engaged to carry the temperance supporters of Leicester to a meeting in Loughborough about four weeks later. The proposal was received with such enthusiasm that, on the following day, Thomas submitted his idea to the secretary of the Midland Railway Company. A train was subsequently arranged, and on 5 July 1841 about 500 passengers were conveyed in open carriages the enormous distance of 12 miles and back for a shilling.
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Wish we could crossbreed the mosquitoes and the lightning bugs. At least then we could see them coming.
Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Lord, whatever you're baking outside...it's done. --RHOZ
Obsolete Word of the Week: Tyromancy – divining by the coagulation of cheese. https://thebewildered20somethingwriter.wordpress.com/category/awesome-obsolete-word-of-the-day/
Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If the doctors told Sen. McConnell he had a kidney stone, he would refuse to pass it. --Alison Lundergan Grimes
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Season a cast-iron skillet. To season a new cast iron skillet, grease with unsalted Wesson Vegetable Oil and warm in the oven for two hours. Rub a drop of Wesson Vegetable Oil on the inside of the pan to keep it seasoned. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wesson.html

...........la, la, la, la, la, la….......Robbie Robertson and the Band …..The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down
^^^^ The name Caribbean derives from the Caribs, one of the region's dominant native groups at the time of European contact (late 15th century). The Caribs inhabited the Lesser Antilles.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: In the event of a tornado put some wieners in your pockets...that way the search dogs can find you first. --Submitted by eg of mt
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Westercon 72 (4-7, Layton, UT) An intimate Military Science Fiction and Fantasy Literary Convention. https://fancons.com/events/info/12305/westercon-72-nasfic-1632-minicon-and-manticon-2019
Wisdom Words of the Week: As my friend Maud once said: “There are times when you must speak, not because you are going to change the other person, but because if you don't speak, they have changed you. --Melissa McEwan -Submitted by mja of ks
Actual Science Convention of the Week: International Association of Geomagnetism and Aeronomy School (3-7, Montreal) Excellent early career scientists... http://www.iaga-aiga.org/index.php?id=youngscientists
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck upside down in the case of the Upward Facing Foldex.

TGFO: Navy is playing Army, which has a first down with 3 minutes left in the half. An Army fan sets off a firecrackers. Navy, thinking it's the end of the half, runs off the field. Three plays later, Army punts. / Sparklers – angry incense
..........Do me a favor, just stop talking for a minute or two.........Huey Lewis and the News …..You Crack Me Up
^^^^^ The Dominican Republic hosted 6,187,542 overnight guests in 2017. The next most visited was Cuba with 4,700,000.
Month of the Week: July is National Blueberries Month –Bart Blueberry used such foul language people used to call him Berry Rude. / If you have berries growing out of your head, put cream on it. / Sarah always thought that blueberries were sad strawberries.
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: An unemployed jester is nobody's fool. --Submitted by msh of bc
Grammar Joke of the Week: St Peter: Why should I let you into heaven? Me: Once, a coworker said “supposably” 7 times in a meeting, and I just let her. St. Peter: Get in here. --Submitted by mnja of ks
Today's Peace of History, July 5, 1827: The newly freed African-American population of New York, led by men on horseback, marched in an Emancipation Day Parade from the Battery at the foot of Manhattan to City Hall.
TGFO: I realize we all grieve in our own way, Ma'am, but the crematorium staff did not appreciate the fireworks you put in your late husbands pockets. / Chicago's favorite game: Gunshots or Fireworks?
..........And (and) (and) you put the load right on me.........Robbie Robertson and the Band …..The Weight
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle July 5, 2019, Blasted ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ . Peace, laughs, and explosions. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Finalier Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Don't know why people think kids learning about gay relationships in school will turn them gay. I learned about World War Two but am yet to invade Poland. --Benjamin Butterworth --Submitted by rmar of ks
Moonbeam: All leaders share something in common. They feel they are the only ones who can do the job. --Julie Nixon Eisenhower
Cost of War:
As of 7/4/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,937,992,648,741.
As of 6/27/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,936,011,864,841.
As of 7/4/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $906,004,516,485.
As of 6/27/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $904,658,635,687.
As of 7/4/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $688,634,337,579.
As of 6/27/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $686,942,368,307.
As of 7/4/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $312,144,125,060.
As of 6/27/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $311,759,646,454.
As of 7/4/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,844,776,398,886.
As of 6/27/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,839,373,295,291.
Reality exists in the human mind, and nowhere else. --George Orwell
..........So take me away, I don't mind..........Huey Lewis and the News …..Back In Time
TGFO: What do you get when you cross a firecracker and a monkey? Bamboo / I was afraid I might fail my fireworks exam, but I passed with flying colors.
Famous Last Words: el primero de nuestra independencia. --Venezuela Declaration of Independence
May Peace brighten your days
And Joy light up your nights
prairie mama
christine


Last Laugh:


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