Famous
First Words: We The
People of the State of New York... Constitution
of New York State
Happy
Birthday, George! If all the economists were laid end to end, they'd
never reach a conclusion. --George Bernard Shaw … Happy Birthday,
Gracie! When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year
and a half. --Gracie Allen / My husband will never chase another
woman. He's too fine, too decent, too old. --Gracie Allen
..........You
get what you need.........Mick Jagger & Rolling Stones …..You
Can't Always Get What You Want
The
activist is not the man who says the river is dirty. The activist is
the man who cleans up the river. --Ross Perot
It
is a beautiful Friday morning. The sun is shining, it is cool
(70°F), with a light breeze to keep the willow billowing and the
cheek feeling freshly kissed. Puck stops his barking earlier in the
walk than usual and instead tracks unknown entities across the
pavement and through the neighbor's yard. There are neither clouds
nor jet trails; even the ghostly daybreak moon is gone from the pale
blue expanse. Birds greet the day enthusiastically and flit about the
empty sky. We cover the cul de sac but hurry back home for a sip of
sweetened, creamed coffee before running errands before breakfast
before the best part of all, writing to you.
Hope
your weekend makes you laugh out loud, ePistliers.
The
single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has
taken place. --George Bernard Shaw / An asylum for the sane would be
empty in America. --George Bernard Shaw … This used to be a
government of checks and balances. Now it's all checks and no
balances. --Gracie Allen
..........Let's
do some living.........Mick Jagger & Rolling Stones …..Wild
Horses
Trivia
Questions: Happy Lumberjack Day !
^
By what sticky name are the spikes on the bottom of a lumberjack's
shoes knows.
^^
What is a “flannel”?
^^^
Know what musical name is given to the two-man cross-cut saw?
^^^^
Any idea which mid-western state hosts the annual Lumberjack World
Championships?
^^^^^
Which unflattering name was used for a lumberjack that specialized in
moving logs down the river?
Great
Sadness of the Week:
Paul
Krassner died
on Sunday the 21st.
He was the founder and editor of The
Realist.
With Abbie Hoffman and Jerry Rubin he was a founder of the Yippie
movement which brought so many protesters to the Chicago Democratic
Convention of '68 that the police freaked out and rioted. I met him
when he came to Lawrence prior to the 68 convention to ask all those
innocent young hippies to please
to Chicago for a ride
and
get your head beat in.
He was an entertaining and informed speaker, a pleasant
conversationalist, and a major counter-culture influence. He will be
missed.
Funniest
Thing I Read of the Week: A small joy in
my life is that my sis is dating a guy with the same name as her cat
& human Nigel hates that we all call him human Nigel.
First
Krassner Quote of the Week: Irreverence
is our only sacred cow.
Fake
Library Statistic of the Week:
48% of librarians have perfected the art of the yelled shush.
https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Alcohol
is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life. --George
Bernard Shaw / Life contains but two tragedies. One is not to get
your heart's desire; the other is to get it. --George Bernard Shaw …
The president of today is just the postage stamp of tomorrow.
--Gracie Allen
..........Can't
you see I'm on a losing streak.........Mick Jagger & Rolling
Stones …..Satisfaction
Moonbeam:
When good people in any country cease their vigilance and struggle,
then evil men prevail. --Pearl S Buck
Naturally
Occurring Mandala of the Week: Low pressure over Iceland.
Big
Hello: Isänme
(sez) - Tatar (Tatarstan & Siberia)
https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Next
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I sat
quietly with my own thoughts today. Remind me never to do that
again.
Week
of the Week: National Zoo Keeper Week
(21-27) --A kangaroo
kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could
hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the
next morning, just roaming around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was
put up. Again he go out. When the fence was forty feet high, a camel
in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think
they'll go?" The kangaroo said, "About a thousand feet,
unless somebody locks the gate at night!"
I
learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and
besides, the pig likes it. --George Bernard Shaw / You'll never have
a quiet world till you knock the patriotism out of the human race.
--George Bernard Shaw … You've buttered your bread now sleep in it.
--Gracie Allen
..........I
drove a tank, held a general's rank.........Mick Jagger & Rolling
Stones …..Sympathy for the Devil
^
Calks were very sharp metal spikes used on a
lumberjack's boot to help them climb up trees while the trees were
still standing. They were also used to roll the logs down river to
the lumber mills.
Almanac:
It is Friday, July 26, 2019. The moon was last quarter last
Wednesday and is in Taurus. It is All or Nothing
Day, One Voice Day, Lumberjack Day, National Talk in an Elevator Day,
and System Administrator Appreciation Day. Because it is the last
weekend it is also the Gilroy CA Garlic Festival and in Athens,
TX, the Black-Eyed Peas Jamboree starts. Liberia celebrates
Independence Day (1847), in the Maldives it is a generic National Day
(1965), and New York commemorates Ratification Day (1788).
Among
those born on this day were George Bernard
Shaw (1856), Carl Jung (1875), Pearl S. Buck (1892), Aldous Huxley
(1894), Gracie Allen (1902), Blake Edwards (1922), Jason Robards Jr.
(1922), Mick Jagger (1943), Helen Mirren (1946), and Dorothy Hamill
(1956).
On
July twenty eighth Ben Franklin became the first Postmaster General
(1775), New York ratified its constitution (1788), the FBI was
established (1908), CIA was established (1947), the first black tv
host hosted (CBS, 1948), Egypt seized the Suez Canal (1956), and
Apollo 15 was launched (1971).
Night
Sky,7/26:
With
the advance of summer, the Sagittarius Teapot is in the south these
evenings (to the lower right of Saturn). It's starting to tilt and
pour from its spout to the right. The Teapot will tilt farther and
farther for the rest of the summer — or for much of the night if
you stay out late.
//www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Second
Krassner Quote of the Week: False
humility is better than no humility at all.
This
Week: Saturday, July 27 – Love
Is Kind Day & National Dance Day & Walk on Stilts Day
Sunday,
July 28 – Buffalo Soldiers Day & Parents Day &
Aunties Day
Night
Sky,7/28: We're not yet halfway through
summer, but already W-shaped Cassiopeia, a constellation of fall and
winter evenings, is climbing up in the north-northeast as evening
grows late.
Monday,
July 29 – Lasagna Day & International Tiger Day &
Rain Day
Night
Sky,7/29:
Both the alpha Capricornids and the Southern delta Aquariids meteor
showers peak tonight.
https://www.amsmeteors.org/2019/07/meteor-activity-outlook-for-july-20-26-2019/
Tuesday,
July 30 – Father-in-Law Day & Friendship Day &
Paperback Books Day
Night
Sky,7/30: Mercury, Venus, and Mars are out of
sight in the glare of the Sun. Mercury will be back in view in the
dawn come August, but Venus and Mars are basically gone until
October.
Wednesday,
July 31 -National Avocado Day & National Mutt Day &
World Ranger Day
Thursday,
August 1 - International Sister Cities Day & Respect for
Parents Day & Mead Day
Old
men are dangerous: it doesn't matter to them what is going to happen
to the world. --George Bernard Shaw / Dancing is a perpendicular
expression of a horizontal desire. --George Bernard Shaw … It's
foolish to bet on a horse without talking to him first. I know it
seems silly to ask a horse who's going to win a race – but it's no
sillier than asking anyone else. --Gracie Allen
..........It's
a gas gas gas.........Mick Jagger & Rolling Stones …..Jumpin;
Jack Flash
^^
Flannels were an alternate name for the heavy wool
plaid shirts popular in Canada and the northern parts of the US.
Although worn by many people with outdoor jobs, they have become part
of the iconic image of the lumberjack, whose image is mostly
folklore- and media-influenced. Flannels also came in a lighter
weight version made from cotton.
'Nother
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A redneck told me to go
back where I came from, so I put a tipi in his backyard. --Charlie
Hill, Oneida-Mohawk-Cree --Submitted by pl of hi
Moonbeam:
Where love rules, there is no will to power, and where power
predominates, love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other.
--Carl Jung
Late
Night Snacks of the Week: Please chant
responsibly. You inspired them, Wussolini. Our horror only makes him
stronger. --Stephen Colbert / Trump supporters chanting "send
her back" about Ilhan Omar almost makes you miss the days when
all they wanted was to imprison a woman without trial. --Trevor Noah
/ Trump told the crowd he could stay with them all night as he had
nothing else to do. It's comforting to know that Trump isn't actually
doing anything. --Seth Meyers / Thank you for tuning into my show
instead of watching the Democratic debate and getting swept away by
John Delaney fever --Samantha Bee / Boris Johnson...it's the first
time the UK has ever had a prime minister who looks like he smoked
meth in an Arby's dumpster. --Jimmy Kimmel
Not
So Late Night Snacks of the Week: So a House
committee has ordered an investigation into whether this happened
because there's evidence to suggest that the Department of Defense
may have experimented with turning ticks into military weapons
because the wars of the future will not be won with bullets. They'll
be won by convincing the enemy to run through the tall grass with
shorts on. --Peter Sagal Wait, Wait Don't
Tell Me 7/20/19
Every
moment is an organizing opportunity, every person a potential
activist, every minute a chance to change the world. --Dolores
Huerta
The
power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those
who have not got it. --George Bernard Shaw / Patriotism is your
conviction that this country is superior to all others because you
were born in it. --George Bernard Shaw … Every politician must be
able to keep both feet on the fence with his ear to the ground.
--Gracie Allen
..........It's
just a shot away.........Mick Jagger & Rolling Stones …..Gimme
Shelter
^^^
A Swedish fiddle was the very long cross cut saw that
took two men to use. Singing while working was a very popular part of
the lumberjack's culture. These songs were referred to as chanteys.
The term Swedish is just a reference to the high number of
Scandinavian men engaged in this old profession.
Worthless
Fact of the Week: On this date in 1948, Bob
Howard became one of the first Black male host on television. The New
York CBS affiliate hired the Black entertainer to star in The Bob
Howard Show. A 15-minute program that ran every weeknight, The Bob
Howard Show was primarily a one-man operation in which Howard sang
and played the piano.
Third
Krassner Quote of the Week: Listen
to the speeches, one after another telling the audience what it
already knows, evoking applause with necessary cliches, no longer
shocking anybody with the shocking facts of the war because you can
become so jaded with horror that you develop an emotional callous.
Wicked
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Man
to receptionist: Will you validate my parking? Receptionist: You did
a great job...evenly spaced...at nearly a perfect right angle.
Weird
Word of the Week:
Abditory – a hiding place. (Latin abdere to hide or put away)
http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-abd1.htm
Wacky
Uses for Common Products:
Remove white spots or water marks from furniture. Dip a cloth in
Wesson Vegetable Oil then into cigar or cigarette ashes. Rub with
the grain, across the spot until it disappears.
http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wesson.html
Love
is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and
everybody else. --George Bernard Shaw / Martyrdom: The only way a
man can become famous without ability. --George Bernard Shaw … As
a well-known great man would have said if he had though of it, “Don't
go around offending people just because it can be done sitting down”.
--Gracie Allen
...........She
comes in colors ev'rywhere.........Mick Jagger & Rolling Stones
…..She's a Rainbow
^^^^
Many a lumberjack came from the Scandinavian stock
that settled much of Wisconsin. Each year, the city of Hayward, in
the northern part of the state, holds the world's largest lumberjack
championship. Complete with log cutting, log rolling, and pancake
eating, the festival lasts for three days in the summer.
Penultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: How
to avoid stress at work. Don't go to work. --Submitted by ma of va
Science
Fiction Convention of the Week:
Confluence – Parsec (26-28, Pittsburgh, PA) And
Confluence is a con worthy of attention!
http://parsec-sff.org/confluence/
Actual
Science Convention of the Week:
2019 International Conference on Frontiers of Artificial Intelligence
and Machine Learning (26-28, Rome) ...where
the latest research will be unveiled and groundbreaking research
projects will be presented...
https://www.nature.com/natureevents/science/events/61079-2019_International_Conference_on_Frontiers_of_Artificial_Intelligence_and_Machine_Learning_FAIML_2019
Puck
the Brave Episode of the Week:
Here's our substitute -- fearless Justice – filling in while Puck
the brave sleeps under my desk.
When
a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares
that it is his duty. --George Bernard Shaw / Kings are not born: they
are made by artificial hallucination. --George Bernard Shaw … The
Senate is the only show in the world where the cash customers have to
sit in the balcony. --Gracie Allen
..........What
a drag it is getting old.........Mick Jagger & Rolling Stones
…..Mother's Little Helper
^^^^^
The skill of rolling logs down the river was done by
a river rat. He was also nicknamed a river pig or river hog. A good
river rat could walk logs for miles down river each day. They were
also responsible for keeping log jams to a minimum..
Month
of the Week: July is National Deli
Sandwich Month –You can get an Indian Sandwich at the New Delhi. /
Any chicken sandwich can be a Chicken Caesar Sandwich if you stab it
enough.
Fourth
Krassner Quote of the Week: I
was pleased to see that anti-cigarette ad on the back issue of
Hustler.
I'm more offended by seeing ads for cigarettes in magazines than
pictures of vaginas, because one kills and the other gives life—and
I think that's an important difference.
Final
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
Protest Sign: I'm a better Christian than any Trump Supporter and I'm
an atheist.
Grammar
Joke of the Week: Correctile
Dysfunction: As I get older, it's harder to find the proper words to
correct other people's grammar.
Today's
Peace of History, July
26, 1990: The Americans with
Disabilities Act (ADA) was signed into law by President George H.W.
Bush.
There
is nothing more dangerous than the conscience of a bigot. --George
Bernard Shaw / I never thought much of the courage of a lion tamer.
Inside the cage he is at least safe from people. --George Bernard
Shaw … I don't see what difference it makes what side your bread is
buttered on. I always eat both sides. --Gracie Allen
..........I
want them to turn black.........Mick Jagger & Rolling Stones
…..Paint It Black
Masthead
of the Week:
Friday ePistle, July 26, 2019, Shavian ePistle. Online at:
http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/
Laughs, Love, and funny people. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith.
2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Fifth
Krassner Quote of the Week:
As
long as the government can arbitrarily decide which substances are
legal and which are illegal, then those who remain behind bars for
illegal substances are political prisoners.
Post
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
Math Lesson of the day: 4 children / 3 meals / 34, 742,687,558 cups
in the dishwasher. --RHOZ
Moonbeam:
Maybe this world in another planet's hell. --Aldous Huxley
Cost
of War:
As
of 7/25/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,943,930,907,614.
As
of 7/18/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,941,945,047,011.
As
of 7/25/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $910,040,485,455.
As
of 7/18/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $908,690,720,586.
As
of 7/25/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $693,708,106,382.
As
of 7/18/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $692,011,106,020.
As
of 7/25/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $313,297,319,831.
As
of 7/18/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $312,911,601,111.
As
of 7/25/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,860,977,584,772.
As
of 7/18/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,855,559,975,006.
In
think the importance of doing activist work is precisely because it
allows you to give back and to consider yourself not as single
individual who may have achieved whatever but to be a part of an
ongoing historical movement. --Angela Davis
..........Ride
like the wind at double speed.........Mick Jagger & Rolling
Stones …..Start Me Up
A
platform is something a candidate stands for and the voters fall for.
--Gracie Allen / Never place a period where God has placed a comma.
--Gracie Allen ... A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly,
science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University
education. --George Bernard Shaw
Famous
Last Words: ...by
striking out “Secretary of the Navy,”. --The
National Security Act of 1947
May
Peace attend ALL you Do
And
may Nothing impede your Joy
prairie
mama
christine
Last
Laugh:
