Famous
First Words: Ladies and gentlemen, this is Andy. --Amos &
Andy First TV Episode
Happy
Birthday to Mel Brooks! Life literally abounds in comedy if you just
look around you. --Mel Brooks / My mind is a raging torrent flooded
with rivulets of thought cascading into waterfall of creative
alternative.... Hedley Lamarr Blazing Saddles
Happy
International Body Piercing Day! Bluebeard made money to buy his
first ship by being a piercer – a buck an ear.
..........All
the sounds of the earth are like music.........Rodgers &
Hammerstein …..Oh, What a Beautiful Morning Oklahoma
Our
revolution is, and should continue to be, the collective effort of
revolutionaries to transform reality, to improve the concrete
situation of the masses of our country. ―Thomas Sankara
It
is a humid (77°F, 81%) Friday morning. The sky is dappled with wisps
and jet trails hardly moving. Birds are everywhere praising the day
with song and the willow tree is almost still. Rabbits hop about the
neighborhood keeping an eye out for dogs and cats. Everything is
green except the now nearly dry gultch in the park. (I call it the
South Lawrence Mosquito CoOperative.) It is brown and drowned
looking. The rest of nature is, apparently, loving all our rain and
humidity and is growing abundantly. An unseen dog a block away barks
and Puck stops to notice and reply; he loses interest quickly and
goes back to sniffing every tuft of grass and every dead leaf on the
sidewalk. We return to our house, waving at the neighbors on their
way to work. Our rooms smell of fresh coffee and stale incense. I
wash it away with creamy, steamy decaf and sit down to write to you.
Don't know how if could be a better morning.
Hope
you have a terrific weekend, ePistliers.
He
who hesitates is poor. --Mel Brooks / You want to x-ray
the celery? What do you think we're smuggling dope in the celery.
The celery's not for dope. It's for dip. --Dr. Richard H. Thorndyke
High Anxiety
Oh
you got your septum pierced, I didn't nose-tice.
..........I
hear the human race is fallin' on its face.........Rodgers &
Hammerstein …..Cockeyed Optimist South Pacific
Trivia
Questions: These question are from the Quiz Kids radio
show.
^
Would you drink aqua fountus?
^^
If you had something that contained a prothorax, meso-thorax and a
meto-thorax, what would you have?
^^^
A giant that requires the help of at least eight other giants to win
his battles.
^^^^
A four letter word describing the affliction of Beethoven?
^^^^^
A man built a factory with a capacity of 300. But he started with 3
workers on the first day, 3 more the next day, and so on until he had
his three hundred. Employees made $3 per day. At the end of the
first day with 300 employees, how much has be paid in wages? No
paper and pencil.
No
I didn't watch either of the debates. Every time I turned over to
them, it was the moderators that were doing all the talking.
Funniest
Thing I Read of the Week: Do you know
why nobody has ever overdosed on marijuana? Because if you laid out
100 joints and a lighter, and told someone to try and smoke all of
'em...by the 4th
joint they've already lost the lighter, ordered a pizza, cuddled with
their dog, and fell asleep. --Submitted by rc of ks
Fake
Library Statistic of the Week:
One
thing that never changes is the number of library conference sessions
on change
https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Anybody
can direct, but there are only eleven good writers
--Mel Brooks / Don't get saucy with me, Bearnaise. --Count de Monet
History of the World Part I
Little
known fact, Paul Bunyan has a cat name Paw Bunyan.
..........Wild
geese that fly with the moon on their wings.........Rodgers &
Hammerstein …..My Favorite Things Sound of Music
Moonbeam:
The world of reality has its limits; the world of imagination is
boundless. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Something
to Think About of the Week: Cabbage
Big
Hello: Grüezi –
Swiss German https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Next
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
Despite the high cost of living it remains popular. --Submitted by
ksz of ks
Week
of the Week: National Mosquito Control
Awareness Week (23-29) --Mike Mosquito was so overweight his doctor
recommend he bite only vegetarians. He did discover that blood
oranges were not a good substitute. / Why is it that mosquitoes can't
suck fat instead of blood?
But
I have bad taste with a deep fount of intellectuality. --Mel Brooks
/ Ms Frink managing a child, that's frightening! What will it do when
it grows up, invade Poland? The Nutt House
It's
so wet in Minnesota that the Mississippi is ball high to Paul Bunyan.
..........I'm
wild again, beguiled again.........Rodgers & Hart …..Bewitched
Pal Joey
^
Yes you could drink Aqua Fountus; it is spring water.
Almanac:
It is Friday, June 28, 2019. The moon was last quarter last Tuesday
and is in Taurus. It is Paul Bunyan Day, International Body Piercing
Day, Drive Your Corvette to Work Day, National Food Truck Day, and
National Logistics Day. In Malta it is Mnarja Day which recreates
customs of Middle Ages.
Among
those born on this day were Jean-Jacques Rousseau (1712), Luigi
Pirandello (1867), Richard Rodgers (1902), Eric Ambler (1909), Mel
Brooks (1926) and John Cusack (1966).
On
June twenty-eighth the first Council of Lyons opened (1245), Labor
Day was established as a federal holiday (1894), there was mutiny
aboard the Potemkin (1905), Harry Truman married Bess Wallace (1919),
Quiz Kids premiered on radio
(1940), Amos 'n' Andy
premiered on tv (1951), Daniel Ellsberg was indicted (1968), and the
Fillmore East closed (1971).
Night
Sky, 6/28:
As evening grows late, even the lowest star of the Summer Triangle
shines pretty high in the east. That's Altair. It's a good three or
four fists at arm's length below or lower right of bright Vega.
Above the midpoint between Delphinus and Altair look for even
smaller, dimmer Sagitta, the Arrow.
http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max
Picture of the Week:
Max re-enacting Ratatouille.
This
Week: Saturday, June 29 – World
Camera Day
Sunday,
June 30 – Asteroid Day & Descendants Day & Leap
Second Time Adjustment Day
Night
Sky, 6/30: The
Milky Way now forms a magnificent arch across the eastern sky as
evening grows late, if you have a dark enough sky. It runs all the
way from below Cassiopeia in the north-northeast, up and across
Cygnus and the Summer Triangle in the east, and down past the spout
of the Sagittarius Teapot in the south-southeast, where it's
brightest.
Monday,
July 1 – Canada Day & Medicare's Birthday & Zip Code
Day
Tuesday,
July 2 – I Forgot Day & Made in the USA Day & World
UFO Day
Night
Sky, 7/2: After
dark Vega is the brightest star shining very high in the east. Barely
lower left of it is 4th-magnitude Epsilon Lyrae, the Double-Double.
Epsilon forms one corner of a roughly equilateral triangle with Vega
and Zeta Lyrae. The triangle is less than 2° on a side, hardly the
width of your thumb at arm's length.
Wednesday,
July 3 – Compliment Your Mirror Day & Stay Out of the
Sun Day & Superman Day
Thursday,
July 4 – US Independence Day & Earth at Aphelion &
Independence From Meat Day
Well,
just being stupid and politically incorrect doesn't work. You can be
politically incorrect if you're smart. --Mel Brooks / That's a bad
guy! His head is like one of those Easter Island heads. --Maxwell
Smart Get Smart
Paul
Bunyan used to sleep all day on Sundays – they called him
Slumberjack.
..........On
a bright cloud of music shall we fly.........Rodgers &
Hammerstein …..Shall We Dance The King and I
^^
An insect - the thorax is the part between the abdomen and the head
of an insect.
'Nother
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Besides training all the
major Greek heroes, Chiron was also a doctor. That would make him the
Centaur for Disease Control.
Moonbeam:
Whatever is a reality today, whatever you touch and believe in and
that seems real for you today, is going to be – like the reality of
yesterday – an illusion tomorrow --Luigi Pirandello
Late
Night Snacks of the Week: Thank you for your
crazed cheering. For just one moment there, I felt like I was
launching my presidential campaign. --Stephen Colbert / You know you
have a hothead president when you have to defuse tensions with
Canada. --Jimmy Kimmel / Dude, you tried to stop an investigation of
your own campaign, and you called a fake national emergency to build
a border wall on your own. The only way you could care less about the
constitution is if it were written in Spanish. --Seth Meyers / That
special time in a teenager’s life. When they ask institutions of
higher learning to saddle them with soul-crushing debt. Now, the
issue of who does or does not get into prestigious universities has
been in the news more than usual lately, mostly thanks to the third
most popular actress on the Hallmark Channel. --Trevor Noah
Not
So Late Night Snacks of the Week: The devices
monitor your heart rate, your restlessness, where you roll around,
your REM cycle. And they give you a sleep score. Basically, they have
gamified sleep. But new research shows people are so anxious about
getting a good sleep score that it keeps them up at night. You know
how it goes. You don't get a good sleep score, you won't get into a
good sleep school.. --Peter Sagal Wait,
Wait Don't Tell Me
6/22/19
As
revolutionaries, we don't have the right to say we're tired of
explaining. We must never stop explaining. We also know that once
the people understand, they cannot but follow us. --Thomas Sankara
If
you're quiet, you're not living. You've got to be noisy and colorful
and lively. --Mel Brooks / Don't worry about it! We'll meet again in
Spaceballs 2: The Quest for More Money. Space balls
Paul
Bunyan used to dance at Chipanddales's. He wore only an ox collar
and blue sawdust which he called Man Glitter.
..........And
when I looked the moon had turned to gold.........Rodgers & Hart
…..Blue Moon Manhattan Melodrama
^^^
Nine New York Giants are needed to win a battle.
Worthless
Fact of the Week: The final concert at the Fillmore East
billed The Allman Brothers Band, The J Geils Band, and Albert King;
but surprise guests also showed up Edgar Winter's White Trash,
Mountain, The Beach Boys, and Country Joe McDonald.
Wicked
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If
Trump has 22 sexual assault allegations and is traveling south at 60
mph, and Brett Kavanaugh has 3 sexual assault allegations an is
traveling west at 45 mph, how many more allegations do they need
before people start believing women?
Reader
Input of the Week:
Look, I'm sorry. I simply don't meet the minimum height requirement
to ride your emotional roller coaster. --eg of mt
Obsolete
Word of the Week:
Lunting – walking while smoking a pipe. (1820s)
https://www.buzzfeed.com/lukelewis/27-delightful-obsolete-words-its-high-time-we-revived
Wacky
Uses for Common Products:
Remove oil paint from skin. Use Wesson Vegetable Oil instead of
turpentine. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wesson.html
Antepenultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
The best murder weapon would be a tupperware lid because no one could
be able to find it. --cmr of ks
My
job is to go out and entertain the most people possible.
--Mel Brooks / Carl Reiner: Sir, we know that many many hundreds of
years ago, most men had more than one wife. Did you practice
polygamy in those days? The 2000 Year Old Man: I never practiced
it. I was perfect at it.
Happy
National Food Truck Day! Clever Names for Food Trucks: Burger, She
Wrote / Grillenium Falcon
...........I
am starry eyed and vaguely discontented.........Rodgers &
Hammerstein …..It Might As Well Be Spring State Fair
^^^^
Beethoven's four letter affliction – he was DEAF
Penultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Let's
be absolutely clear, America is an oil company with an army. --George
Carlin
Science
Fiction Convention of the Week:
LibertyCon 32 (28-30, Chattanooga,TN) A Science Fiction / Fantasy
convention with a Blood Drive. https://libertycon.org/
Actual
Science Convention of the Week:
World Test Engineering Summit. (27-28, Bangalore, IN). Next Gen
Gtest Engineering Leadership & Strategy.
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/world-test-engineering-summitbangalore27-28-june-2019-tickets-54636680783
Puck
the Brave
Episode of the Week:
Here's our fearless Puck finishing up dessert in the Case of the
Forked Foodle.
Oh,
I'm not a true genius. I'm a near genius. I would say I'm a short
genius. I'd rather be tall and normal than a short genius
–Mel Brooks / Ja! Not many people know this, but the fuhrer was
descended from a long line of English queens. --Franz Leibkind The
Producers
Clever
Names of Food Trucks: I Dream of Weenie / Mamas and the Tapas / Truck
Norris
..........Everything's
like a dream in Kansas City.........Rodgers & Hammerstein
…..Everything's Up To Date In Kansas City Oklahoma
^^^^^
The factor owner will have paid $45,450. (The child figured the
average daily pay by adding first and last day and dividing by 2.
Then multiplying that figure by 100 days).
Month
of the Week: June is World Month Sponge
–She was such a selfish sponge; she was too self absorbed. / A man
was washing his car with his son who asked, “Can't you use a sponge
like everybody else?”
Ultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Oh,
you spent $8K to take your kids to Disney? My son watched the
garbage truck empty our trash 20 minutes ago and he's still talking
about it. --
Grammar
Joke of the Week: Two
quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
Today's
Peace of History, June 28, 1969:
Patrons at the Stonewall Inn, a gay bar in New York City's Greenwich
Village, being subjected to routine anti-homosexual harassment by the
New York City police raiding the bar, spontaneously fought back.
I
have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the
funniest and most entertaining writers I know. --Mel
Brooks / I have been to many, many stakings. You have to know where
to stand. --Dr. Van Helsing Dracula, Dead and Loving It
Clever
Names of Food Trucks: Second Breakfast / Quiche It Classy / Over Easy
On Wheels
..........You
may be a s brave as you make believe you are.........Rodgers &
Hammerstein …..Whistle A Happy Tune The King and I
Masthead
of the Week:
Friday ePistle, 2019, ePistlebrook. Online at:
http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/
Peace, Laughs and Melisms. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511
Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam:
International business may conduct its operations with scraps of
paper but the ink it uses is human blood. --Eric Ambler
Cost
of War:
As
of 6/27/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,936,011,864,841.
As
of 6/20/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,934,038,168,849.
As
of 6/27/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $904,658,635,687.
As
of 6/20/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $903,317,261,815.
As
of 6/27/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $686,942,368,307.
As
of 6/20/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $685,255,839,755.
As
of 6/27/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $311,759,646,454.
As
of 6/20/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $311,376,313,207.
As
of 6/27/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,839,373,295,291.
As
of 6/20/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,833,988,085,098.
Imperialism
is a system of exploitation that occurs not only in the brutal form
of those who come with guns to conquer territory. Imperialism often
occurs in more subtle forms, a loan, food aid, blackmail . We are
fighting this system that allows a handful of men on Earth to rule
all of humanity. ―Thomas Sankara
..........Adieu,
adieu, to you and you and you.........Rodgers & Hammerstein
…..So Long, Farewell Sound of Music
Clever
Names of Food Trucks: Cheddar Chariot / Taco Trailer / Bun Intended
Hope
for the best, expect the worst. Life is a play. We're unrehearsed.
--Mel Brooks / Because...unlike
some other Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent. --Robin
Hood Men
in Tights
Famous
Last Words: are now made by law public holidays. --53rd
Congress, Session II, Chapter 118 ...Federal Holidays (Labor Day,
Christmas, Independence Day)
May
Peace fill your nights
And
Joy infuse your days
prairie
mama
christine
Last
Laugh:
