Famous
First Words:
...related to emergency increase in the Army... Selective
Draft Act of 1917
It
is the weekend of the 2018 O'Henry Pun Off: From past competitions
we have Geographic Puns: Baby, you've got me in a state and I fear
that it's contiguous. / Hawaii – it's lava first site. / Geography
puns? There's no way I'm going Oslo as that.
..........Let
me say it once again.........Meredith Willson ….. Gary, Indiana
(The Music Man)
There
is a science of war, but how strange that there isn't a science of
peace. There are colleges of war; why can't we study peace?
--Audrey Hepburn
It
is a superb Friday morning. The 59°F temperature is a perfect
combination of slight chill and spring warmth. The air smells of
foliage and soil and tea roses. Bird calls and mechanical grindings
combine to grace the ear. A tablecloth of thin white fluff covers
the pale blue sky. The trash truck comes and goes but I remain
outside taking in deep breaths of fresh air and listening to the
morning pass by as the cloud move slowly north. The three dogs –
Puck, Cooper, and Cy – wrestle and race their way around the yard
sometimes barking, sometimes whimpering, sometimes silent except for
the thunder of paws against dirt or paws on deck wood. Cooper does
not bark, Coop howls; occasionally they are short, snappy howls, but
they are not barks. Puck barks; I cannot tell whether he is reminding
the other dogs to cut out the rough stuff or he is shouting “harder,
harder”. Cy is silent; he always looks so happy. Eventually the
call of coffee lures us into the house which smells of coffee. Now I
get to sit with a mouth full of warm, creamy unleaded ambition and
write to you. Superb – only word for it.
Hope
your weekend is punbelievable, ePistliers.
Seasonal
puns: All right so this is not how I oregano-ly planned it, but after
Tara, my first missus dashed out on me, I came home to find tarragon.
/ I’ll never have a garlic that again. / All things get better with
sage.
..........'Til
my body had turned to carrion..........Meredith Willson …..Marian
the Librarian (The Music Man)
Trivia
Questions: Happy Buy A Musical
Instrument Day! Happy Birthday, Meredith Willson
^
Any idea where Mr. Willson was born?
^^
What instrument(s) did Meredith first play professionally?
^^^
What personality did Mr. Willson assumed on his various radio shows?
^^^^
What radio sit-com did Meredith replace for the summer in the early
40s?
^^^^^
When did The Music Man premier, more or less?
First
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
Facial recognition software can pick a person out of a crowd, but the
vending machine at work can't recognize a dollar bill with a bent
corner. --
Fake
Library Statistic of the Week:
30% of librarians can't agree to disagree while the other 70% can't
admit when they agree
https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Farm
Puns: I have to be honest, I'm not this
funny. I have a lot of plants in the audience. / The yolks on you,
that's a load of crop.
..........Whatayatalk?
Whatayatalk.........Meredith Willson …..Rock Island (The Music
Man)
Moonbeam:
War does not determine who is right – only who is left. --Bertrand
Russell
Something
to Think About of the Week:
Big
Hello:
Namaste
- Nepali https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Pun
of the Week: Elvis Costello and Abba
are touring together this summer but they haven't figured out who the
headliner will be. So, watch for Abba and Costello to find out who's
on first.
Week
of the Week: National Police Week: (May
13-19) - From the police
blotter, or, what a beat cop deals with every day: A deputy
responded to a report of a vehicle stopping at mailboxes. It was the
mail carrier. / A woman said her son was attacked by a cat, and the
cat would not allow her to take her son to the hospital.
Animal
Puns: Hey, I'm just winging it at this point. / I asked a horse if he
had a dollar. He said, “no, but I have fore quarters”. / Fangs a
lot
..........About
a thousand kisses shy.........Meredith Willson …..Lida Rose (The
Music Man)
^
Willson was born in Mason City, Iowa, to John David
Willson and Rosalie Reiniger Willson, and he had a brother two years
his senior, John Cedrick, and a sister 12 years his senior, the
children's author Dixie Willson.
Almanac:
It is Friday, May 18, 2018. The moon was new on Tuesday and is in
Cancer. It is Buy A
Musical Instrument Day (in honor of The
Music Man creator),
HIV Vaccine Awareness Day, I Love Reeses Day, Mother Whistler Day,
National Museum Day, and Visit Your Relatives Day. In Haiti it is
Flag Day/University Day. Because it is the third Friday it is also
Endangered Species Day, International Virtual Assistants Day, NASCAR
Day, National Bike to Work Day, National Defense Transportation Day,
National Pizza Party Day, and O. Henry Pun-off Day.
Among
those born on this day were Ruggiero Boscovich (1711), Frederik
Augustus II (1797), Bertrand Russell (1872), Ezio Pinza (1892), Frank
Capra (1897), Robert Meredith Willson (1902), Robley Evans (1907),
Perry Como (1912), Richard Brooks (1912), Pope John Paul II (Karol
Wojtyla, 1918), Don Leslie Lind (1930), Dwayne Hickman (1934), Reggie
Jackson (1946), and Diane Duane (1952).
On
May eighteenth trades people assaulted the French garrison at Brugse
Metten (1302), Peace of Doornik was signed (1385), the Massachusetts
Bay colony granted puritarian voting rights and John Winsthrop was
elected first governor (1631), Montreal was founded (1642), Rhode
Island became the first state to outlaw slavery (1652), Massachusetts
became the firs tstate to require school attendance (1852), the US
Supreme Count affirmed separate but equal (Plessy v Ferguson, 1896),
the earth passed through the tail of Halley's Comet and caused panic
(1910), the Selective Service Act was passed (1917), Grauman's
Chinese Theater opened (1927), TWA began commercial service (1934),
NYC ended night baseball games for the rest of WWII (1942), the
Antiquarian Booksellers Association of American incorporated (1949),
Libby dated the Stonehedge at 1848 BCE (1952), Gene Roddenberry
suggested 16 names (including Kirk) for the Star Trek Captain (1965),
the Apollo 10 was launched (1969), and Mount St. Helens blew its top
(1980).
Night
Sky, 5/18:
A binocular challenge: Just as
nightfall becomes complete, spot Venus still a little above the
west-northwest horizon. Get it in binoculars or a low-power,
wide-field scope. Look upper left of it by about 1.6°. Can you make
out the dim glow of the star cluster M35? Have you ever
seen
an M object so near the horizon? It'll slide closer by Venus on
Saturday and Sunday nights.
http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Science
Fiction Convention of the Week: KeyCon
35: Magic vs Tech. (Winnipeg, May 18-20) ...focuses
on science fiction, fantasy and related literary genres in any form.
http://www.keycon.org/35/
Actual
Science Convention of the Week:
Birational
Geometry & Arithmetic (May 14-18, Brown University)
https://icerm.brown.edu/topical_workshops/tw18-2-bga/
This
Week: Saturday, May 19 – Boys
Club Day & Do Dah Day & National Learn To Swim Day
Night
Sky, 5/19: The Moon hangs in dim Cancer.
After nightfall is complete, use binoculars to look for the Beehive
Star Cluster, M44, about 6° above it (as seen from North America).
That's roughly the width of the field of view in typical 8x
binoculars.
Sunday,
May 20 – Eliza Doolittle Day &
National Rescue Dog Day & Neighbor Day
Night
Sky, 5/20: Corona Borealis aka the
Northern Crown is an almost perfect semi circle of starts. In the
east the constellation it is located more or less along a line
between two brights stars, Arcturus in the constellation Bootes the
Herdsman and Vega in the constellation Lyra the Harp.
Monday,
May 21 – National Wait Staff Day &
I Need A Patch For That Day
Tuesday,
May 22 – Canadian Immigrants Day &
Harvey Milk Day & Sherlock Holmes Day
Wednesday,
May 23 – National Taffy Day &
World Orienteering Day & World Turtle Day
Night
Sky, 5/20: For the rest of this spring
and summer, Jupiter stays within less than 2° or 3° of
3rd-magnitude Alpha Librae (Zubenelgenubi): a fine, wide double star
for binoculars. Its two components, magnitudes 2.8 and 5.1, are a
generous 231 arcseconds apart. Nevertheless they form a real,
gravitationally bound pair; they're both measured to be 77
light-years away.
Thursday,
May 24 – Brother's Day & Eat More
Fruits & Vegetables Day & Morse Code Day
Music
Puns: I have a buddy who works at a Las Vegas wedding chapel. That
right, I've got friends in elope places. / Bau To Run by Goose
Springsteen
..........No
golden, glorious, gleaming pristine goddess.........Meredith Willson
…..The Sadder But Wiser Girl For Me (The Music Man)
^^
A flute and piccolo player, Willson was a member of
John Philip Sousa's band (1921–1923), and the New York Philharmonic
Orchestra under Arturo Toscanini (1924–1929).
Second
and Third Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
What is your opinion of drag queens around children? I'm against drag
queens being exposed to children. A lot could go wrong. Nails could
be broken, wigs pulled off, someone could get knocked off her heels.
Children are wild, irrational, and unpredictable, and their
characters are still in the formative stages. Someone fabulous could
get hurt. --Submitted by abf of ks / I am the undisputed world
champion of Arguments the Take Place in My Imagination
Moonbeam:
The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge.
--Bertrand Russell
Late
Night Snacks: Best
Buy has redesigned their logo in order to make it more modern. Best
Buy’s CEO said, “With this new logo, we’re going to sell a lot
of VCRs.” --Conan O'Brien / Stormy Daniels’ lawyer, Michael
Avenatti, says Drumpf’s lawyer Michael Cohen might have gotten
Stormy’s hush money from a Russian businessman. Even the Avengers
are like, “OK, there are way too many characters.” --Jimmy
Fallon / After President Drumpf announced the US withdrawal from the
Iran deal yesterday, the supreme leader of Iran said, quote, “This
man will turn to dust and his body will become food for snakes and
ants.” Oh, man, it’s worse than we thought. Iran’s supreme
leader is Goth. --Seth Meyers / The president is also said to be
unhappy with his newest attorney, Rudy Giuliani. He's been making a
mess on cable and network news. Drumpf is reportedly irritated and
disappointed by the interviews Giuliani's been giving. He's like,
"Look, I'll say the crazy stuff. You stick to pretending it
isn't crazy." Can you imagine being so rambling, incoherent, and
contradictory that even Donald Drumf is like, "You're
embarrassing me." --Jimmy Kimmel / A high school in Michigan
has faced a backlash after announcing that female students who attend
prom wearing revealing dresses will be given something called a
"modesty poncho." Yes, because we all know bare shoulders
are the most dangerous thing threatening school kids these days.
--James Corden / Drumpf's new lawyer Rudy Giuliani has been
everywhere, saying everything, in no particular order. First, he told
Sean Hannity that Drumpf, despite repeated denials, had, in fact,
reimbursed Michael Cohen the $130,000 Cohen paid to Stormy Daniels.
Drumpf backed that up on Twitter and then had tweet “regwet” and
claimed Giuliani just had a momentary oopsy-a-truthie: “He started
yesterday. He'll get his facts straight.” That’s just Rudy using
a classic legal strategy: Step one, go on every TV show known to man.
Step two, learn the facts of your case. --Stephen Colbert
Not
So Late Night Snacks: Thanks
to Stormy Daniels' lawyer, who's on cable TV more than catheter
commercials...We now know that Cohen collected more than $2 million
from companies like AT&T and drug maker Novartis and a Russian
oligarch presumably in exchange for access to the Trump
administration. This opens Trump up to charges of bribery and
influence peddling. Michael Cohen is quickly replacing Jared Kushner
as Donald Trump's least favorite Jew. --Peter Sagal Wait,
Wait Don't Tell Me
Nonviolence
is more concerned with saving life than with saving face. --Jesse
Jackson
Bible
Puns: I'm gonna make like John the Baptist and skip ahead, because I
think I'm doing a good job. That psalms it up. / Every Sunday the
Hawk would sit on the church steeple because he was a bird of pray.
..........Right
here in River City.........Meredith Willson …..Ya Got Trouble
(The Music Man)
^^^
During World War II, Willson worked for the United
States' Armed Forces Radio Service. His work with the AFRS teamed him
with George Burns, Gracie Allen and Bill Goodwin. He would work with
all three as the bandleader, and a regular character, on the Burns
and Allen radio program. He played a shy man, always trying to get
advice on women. His character was ditsy as well, basically a male
version of Gracie Allen's character.
Worthless
Fact of the Week: The
Peace of Tournai (Vrede van Doornik in Dutch) was an agreement
between the Burgundian Duke Philip II and the rebellious city of
Ghent signed on 18 December 1385.
Wicked
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I
thought the dryer made my clothes shrink. But it turns out it was
actually the refrigerator.
Weird
Word of the Week: Growlery – a place
of refuge or sanctuary for use while one is out of sorts or in an ill
humor. --Submitted by sd of ks
Wacky
Uses for Common Products:
Reduce water spots on glasses and dishes. Add one tablespoon 20 Mule
Team Borax to the dishwater.
http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/20muleteam.html
Weather
Puns: It's early, wait until four; cast your opinion then./ I tried
to catch some fog but I mist. / Little known fact, storm trooper
helmet have built-in umbrellas.
...........There
were horns of ev'ry shape and kind.........Meredith Willson …..76
Trombones (The Music Man)
^^^^
In 1942, Willson had his own program on NBC. Meredith
Willson's Music was a summer replacement for Fibber McGee and Molly.
Sparkle Time,
which ran on CBS in 1946-47, was Willson's first full-season radio
program.
Next
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The
only difference between a cult and a religion is the amount of real
estate they own. --Frank Zappa
Amazing
Thing on the Internet of the Week:
Listen
to the sound of our Galaxy
Rotating:
Puck
the Brave
Episode of the Week:
Here's
our fearless Puck relaxing in his growlery during the case of the
Belligerent Bichon.
Driving
Puns: In Australia animals are allowed to drive if they are
koalafied. / I was waiting for the bus when a frog hopped up on the
bench beside me and said, “I'm taking the bus 'cause my car got
toad”.
..........In
March I got a gray mackinaw.........Meredith Willson …..Wells
Fargo Wagon (The Music Man)
Month
of the Week:
May is National Egg Month --Everything I know about eggs I learned
in the Hencyclopedia.
Penultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Unless your
name is Google
stop acting like you freaking know everything. --Submitted by nm of
ks
Today's
Peace of History, May
18, 1972: Margaret (Maggie) Kuhn
founded the Gray Panthers (originally called the Consultation of
Older and Younger Adults for Social Change) to consider the common
problems faced by retirees — loss of income, loss of contact with
associates, and loss of one of society's most distinguishing social
roles, one's job. The members discovered a new kind of freedom in
their retirement — the freedom to speak personally and passionately
about what they believed in, such as their collective opposition to
the Vietnam War.
Political
Puns: Donald Trump can't seem to finished his autobiography. He
keeps getting stuck in Chapter 11. / I wonder who Kissinger now?
..........And
there were wonderful roses.........Meredith Willson …..Till There
Was You (The Music Man)
Masthead
of the Week:
fRiday ePistle May 18, 2018, PUNch & ePistle . Online at:
http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/
Generic Tag Line. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct.
Lawrence, KS 66046
Moonbeam:
The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to
grow sharper. --Bertrand Russell
Final
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I
just saw some idiot at the gym put a water bottle in the Pringles
holder on the treadmill.
Cost
of War:
As
of 5/7/18 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,821,532,846,483.
As
of 5/10/18 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,819,491,803,607.
As
of 5/17/18 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $826,857,116,874.
As
of 5/10/18 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $825,470,101,420.
As
of 5/17/18 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $589,134,730,882.
As
of 5/10/18 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $587,390,900,707.
As
of 5/17/18 Veterans Care since 2001: $289,530,580,107.
As
of 5/10/18 Veterans Care since 2001: $289,134,277,316.
As
of 5/17/18 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,527,055,913,671.
As
of 5/10/18 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,521,487,588,648.
Nuclear
weapons offer us nothing but a balance of terror, and a balance of
terror is still terror. --George Wald
.........Sweet
dreams be yours, dear, if dreams there be.........Meredith Willson
…..Good Night My Someone (The Music Man)
Good-bye
Puns: Herd you're leaving / Have a Knife Day. See you Spoon. / Owl
Miss You / Cashew on the flip side / I'll miss you berry much /
Famous
Last Words: ...did
not hear the argument or participate in the decision of this case.
US Supreme Court Decision Plessy v Ferguson
May
your Peace be whirled
And
Joy be bundled
prairie
mama
christine
Last
Laugh:
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