Friday, May 11, 2018

Eerie ePistle


Famous First Words: Est approuvé le traité conclu et signé à Londres...Treaty of London **
**The treaty concluded and signed in London is approved
Today is Lemaria which is a festival held for those spirits of the dead who are not evil, but who are also not family. A ghost of my friend Fred walked into a bar? What'll you have? Asked the Bartender. “I'm here for the BOOS!” Fred answered.
..........Freedom to oppress in the name of righteous..........Roy Zimmerman …..Religious Freedom (to Burn Our Own Witches)
Armament is no protection against the war but leads to war. Striving for peace and preparing for war are incompatible with each other. --Albert Einstein
It is an electric Friday morning. The sky is absolutely filled with cloud – gray layers which light up from time to time, here and there with internal lightning so that thunder rolls and echos and rolls some more. Beneath the layer are wisps and streaks – some darker, some not so and at the corner of the sky light seems to penetrate. There is just enough birdsong to make a gray morning more cheerful especially when it is accompanied by so much activity...robins stomping through the lawn, sparrows tending their cheeping young (unseen in houses handing on the storage shed), a silent flock flying high overhead. Now and then a feeling of a raindrop, a sense of water against skin makes me look at the sky for hints of rain or at the fence for evidence of drops. None. The world smells as if rain is eminent punctuated occasionally by floral scents wafting by on nothing. There is no wind, no breeze, no motion and yet the clouds move steadily and silently and ominously towards the northeast. Cy and Cooper wrestle and run about while Puck shouts – cheers, instructions, orders, who knows. We stay until actual raindrops begin to fall and then we retreat to decaf – carefully sweetened and creamed – and a special treat, a margarita cupcake from my daughter which I have decided will be the opening of my Mother's Day celebration. And my second official M.D. act is to say write to you. Wow!
Here's to a spirited weekend, ePistlers.
The ghost of Bin Laden recently began haunting Obama and his family. “Why are you doing this me now, after all these years.” Obama asked? “Couldn't find you,” Bin Laden replied.
I like playing Unitarian churches. The people are politically active and spiritually confused – like me. --Roy Zimmerman
..........The gas is cheap, the house is warm, the neighbor's sick and............Roy Zimmerman …..The Faucet's On Fire
Trivia Questions: Farewell to Dynasty !
^ About when did Dynasty premier?
^^ What family was at the center of the series?
^^^ Who were the starring actors?
^^^^ Dynasty merchandise grossed $400 million; any idea what kinds of wares they sold?
^^^^^ What short-lived series was a spin off of Dynasty?
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'll get over it, I just need to be dramatic first. --Submitted by nm of ks
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: Librarians favorite part of pub trivia: 50% trivia, 50% pub. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Ghost pandas eat Bam-Boo. / Do you want to hear the jokes about the house ghosts? No, I really don't. That 's the spirit.
Happy Mother's Day: Don't forget to pick up a bottle of wine for your mom. After all, you are one of the reasons she drinks.
..........He will weigh you down..........Roy Zimmerman …..Like A Brick Thrown In Troubled Water
Moonbeam: Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen. --Mort Sahl
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Be like Jesus: Spend enough time with sinners to ruin your reputation with religion people. --Submitted by ma of ks
Something to Think About of the Week:

Big Hello: Salibonani – Ndebele (Zimbabwe) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Pride of the Week: This weekend my grandson, David Hammack is graduating from KU Law School. Congratulations!!!! His reward is now he gets to take the bar exam.
Week of the Week: National Wildflower Week (May 7-11) –Roses are red, violets are blue; but they don't get around like the dandelions do. --Slim Acres
The question isn't do you believe in jokes but do ghosts believe in you. / The ghost's favorite dessert is booberry I scream.
Happy Mother's Day! I only get one vacation day a year? That's All? Well, it's called Mother's Day, but technically, you still have to work.
..........They meant every wealthy European male...........Roy Zimmerman …..My Vote, My Voice, My Right
^ Dynasty, created by Esther and Richard Shapiro, premiered on January 12, 1981, to capitalize on competing nighttime soap Dallas.
Almanac: It is Friday, May 11, 2018. The moon was last quarter last Monday and is in Aries. It is Eat What You Want Day, Hostess Cupcake Day, Fintastic Friday: Giving Sharks A Voice, National Foam Rolling Day, Root Canal Appreciation Day. Because it is the Friday before Mother's Day it is also Child Care Provider Day, Fintastic Friday: Giving Sharks A Voice, Military Spouse Appreciation Day, and National Provider Appreciation Day.
Among those born on this day were Peter Camper (1722), Chang & Eng Bunker (1811), Charles Warren Fairbanks (1852), Ottmar Mergenthaler (1854), Carl Hauptmann (1858), Irving Berlin (Isadore Balin, 1888), Margaret Rutherford (1892), Salvador Dali (1904), Phil Silvers (1912), Mort Sahl (1927), Butch Hudson (1947), and Steve Bono (1962).
On May eleventh Constantine designated Constantinople (Istanbul) as the new capital for the Eastern Roman Empire (1330), Netherlands and Cologne signed a peace treaty (1625), the first hosptial in the US opened (Pennsylvania, 1751), the first US fire insurance was sold (1752), England & Tippu Sahib van Mysore signed a peace treaty (1784), the American Bible Society formed (NY, 1816), Minnesota was admitted as the 32nd state (1858), the Treaty of London (concerning Luxembourg) was drawn (1867), Charmer Zettlein pitched the first 9 inning shutout (1875), Montana's Glacier National Park was founded (1910), the Communist Party of Holland split (1925), the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences was established (1927), the first television station began to broadcast (3 nights/week, 1929), Goodyear manufactured the first tubeless tires (1947), Siam became Thailand (1949), Israel attacked Gaza (1955), ~~Tradition, the last Pinky Lee Show aired (1956), Once Upon a Mattress premiered (NY, 1959), Cats premiered (London, 1978), and the final episode of Dynasty aired (217 episodes, 1989).
Night Sky, 5/11: The Arch of Spring spans the western sky in late twilight. Pollux and Castor form its top: they're lined up roughly horizontally in the west-northwest, about three finger-widths at arm's length apart. Look far to their lower left for Procyon, and farther to their lower right for Menkalinan and then bright Capella. Venus glares below the Arch. Two fists at arm's length left or lower left from Venus, look for Betelgeuse twinkling on its way out. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: CONSole Room – The Twin Cities' Doctor Who Convention. (May 11-13, MSP Airport/Mall of America http://console-room.com/
Actual Science Convention of the Week: Breast Imaging from A to Z: Read Like (or Better Than!) the Experts. (May 10 – 12, Las Vegas, NE) https://www.nature.com/natureevents/science/events/58191-Breast_Imaging_from_A_to_Z_Read_Like_or_Better_Than_the_Experts
This Week: Saturday, May 12 – International Nurses Day & Hug Your Cat Day
Sunday, May 13 – Mother's Day & Crouton Day
Night Sky, 5/13: Three zero-magnitude stars shine after dark in May: Arcturus very high in the southeast (high above Jupiter), Vega much lower in the northeast, and Capella in the northwest (upper right of Venus). They appear so bright because each is at least 60 times as luminous as the Sun, and because they're all relatively nearby: 37, 25, and 42 light-years from us, respectively.
Monday, May 14 – Stars and Stripes Forever Day & National Chicken Dance Day
Tuesday, May 15 – Peace Officer Memorial Day & Straw Hat Day
Night Sky, 5/15: Arcturus is the brightest star very high in the east these evenings. Spica shines about three fists at arm's length to its lower right. To the right of Spica by half that distance is the distinctive four-star constellation of Corvus, the springtime Crow. Far below Arcturus, Jupiter glares.
Wednesday, May 16 – Mimosa Day & Biographer's Day & National Piercing Day
Thursday, May 17 – World Hypertension Day
The ghost of my friend Vanessa walked into a bar and asked for whiskey neat. The bartender said, “Sorry, we don't serve spirits here.”
Happy Mother's Day! I love how we don't even need to say out loud that I”m your favorite child.
..........And they kept him from going overseas.........Roy Zimmerman …..He's Got Bone Spurs
^^ The series revolves around the Carringtons, a wealthy family residing in Denver, CO.
'Next Funniest thing I read of the Week: Found out today that despite being out of the Navy for half a year, I have a higher security clearance than Jared Kushner. --ay of wa
Moonbeam: I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers. --Mort Sahl
Late Night Snacks: White House insiders say that President Drumpf feels comfortable with Rudy Giuliani because they’re from the same generation. Giuliani said, "We share common values like hard work, patriotism, and ditching your first two wives." --Conan O'Brien / It was 90 degrees here in New York today! People were sweating like President Drumpf watching Rudy Giuliani on “Hannity.” --Jimmy Fallon / Rudy Giuliani was interviewed last night by Fox News host Sean Hannity — and I don't want to say Giuliani screwed Drumpf, but Michael Cohen gave him $130,000. --Seth Meyers / Just months after President Drumpf promised to send astronauts back to the moon, NASA has stopped working on its moon rover project. Now when they head to the moon, the astronauts' plan is to just have a friend pick them up when they land. --James Corden / Yesterday the president announced that he'd be making an announcement at 2:00 this afternoon on the future of our nuclear pact with Iran. He's been teasing this like it's a new "Star Wars" trailer. --Jimmy Kimmel / The slogan is — and I’m not making this up — "Be Best." Just to be clear: We aren’t making fun of Melania’s accent or the way she talks. She’s a very intelligent woman who speaks multiple languages fluently. But to everyone on her team who signed off on "Be Best": Be Better. --Stephen Colbert
Not So Late Night Snacks: It's great to be back in Austin, especially before Texas invades and puts down the insurrection. how does this city of all cities get the best food and also the best bands. Apparently Austin sold their soul to the devil some years ago. But good news - when the devil came to collect, he looked around and said hey. And so he stuck around. And now he runs a vegan food truck. --Peter Sagal Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me
I do not think that this peace based on force is, can be, or should be, an ultimate end. --Edward Teller
When you hear eerie noises in the night, stay calm and tell ghost jokes. / Ghost writers lift the spirits of readers.
Happy Mother's Day! Computers are smart because they listen to their motherboards.
..........there's trouble and danger on the road to justice..........Roy Zimmerman …...Hope, Struggle and Change
^^^ Dynasty starred John Forsythe as oil magnate Blake Carrington, Linda Evans as this new wife Krystle, and later Joan Collins as his former wife Alexis.
Worthless Facts of the Week: The American Bible Society (ABS) is a United States–based nondenominational Bible society which publishes, distributes and translates the Bible and provides study aids and other tools to help people engage with the Bible. Founded on May 11, 1816, in New York City, it is probably best known for its Good News Translation of the Bible, with its contemporary vernacular.
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: He asked, “What's your favorite position?” I said, “CEO”.
Christine Update: I lost my sister this week...my baby sister (12 years younger than I). Because of the age difference there wasn't a time of sharing clothes or advice about boys. She had kind of a hard life – she lost a baby and a grand baby and a husband. She moved to North Carolina and never quite felt like she belonged. I will miss her...her shy smile and her easy speech (2 different people I talked to on the phone said I sounded like her...could be the not North Carolina accent). Good-bye, Vivian. Her son Jeff was thinking of moving to Kansas after she passed but has found a trailer on the property of a relative and has decided to stay. I think that will be a good thing for him. When I talked to my siblings we all got around to how old we were and she was the baby.
Weird Word of the Week: Jobsworth – a censorious term for an official who upholds rules at the expense of humanity or common sense. Has been in use since the early 1970s. http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-job3.htm
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Gently clean porcelain and aluminum cookware. Sprinkle 20 Mule Team Borax on pots and pans, rub with a damp dish cloth, and rinse thoroughly. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/20muleteam.html
I've never seen a ghost myself, but it would be interesting if I did. I live in a newer building, so I think it would be a modern ghost...I would wake up and there would be a ghost standing over my bed, just like, “What's your Wi-Fi password? --Aziz Ansari
Happy Mother's Day! Of course I'm a good mother, they're still alive, aren't they?
...........I did not think about it all of my eight hour day..........Roy Zimmerman …...The Unions Are To Blame
^^^^ A show about moneyed people wearing nice things translated into the public being able to purchase some of the show’s glitz. A line of Dynasty merchandise was released, which included $3 pantyhose, $150 Forever Krystle perfume, $500 tuxedos, $800 ball gowns, $10,000 handmade Alexis and Krystle dolls, and a $200,000 chinchilla coat. Crafty fans of the show could also buy Miller’s patterns through McCall’s Pattern Co. and make the fancy dresses themselves.
This Just In of the Week: Roy Zimmerman will very likely be performing in Lawrence on September 12th. No details yet.
Too Perfect To Be Believed of the Week: As the new NRA president, Oliver North will go from illegally selling guns to terrorists to LEGALLY selling guns to terrorists.
'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I must master the ancient art of meditation so that I can optimize my workplace efficiency and please the people who exploit me and be better at exploiting those under me. --Submitted by dr of oh
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck testing out his camouflage in the case of the Sleepy Sheep.
I work overnights in a haunted hotel. The ghost lives in our workout room. I don't have any problems because I never go down there. Fear aside, there is something deeply disturbing about a ghost who is more dedicated to its physical fitness than I am to mine. --Tim Ross Jr.
Happy Mother's Day! My mother doesn't just enjoy guilt trips, she runs the travel agency
......I'm the doughnut lady, I am the civil engineer.........Roy Zimmerman …..I Approve This Message
Happy Mother's Day! Hope your Mother's Day is more pleasant than your labor was.
^^^^^ After becoming the number one show in America in 1985—and airing in 80 countries—Dynasty spun off into The Colbys, which only lasted two seasons.
Month of the Week: May is Mystery Month – While visiting a big city, Betsy, who suspected her husband of cheating on her snuck off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news. “There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.” Visibly shaken, Betsy stared at the woman’s lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller’s gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question. “Will I be acquitted?
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A student in bed will remain in bed unless acted upon by a large enough panic.
Most Beautiful Thing in American Samoa: National Park of American Samoa - Located 2,600 miles southwest of Hawaii, the National Park of American Samoa is the most remote unit of the National Park System. The park spreads across three volcanic islands-- Tutuila, Ta’u, and Ofu—9,500 acres of tropical rain forest and 4,000 acres of ocean, including coral reefs. https://www.terragalleria.com/parks/np.american-samoa.all.html
Today's Peace of History, May 11, 1975: 80,000 turned out in Central Park (NYC) to celebrate the end of the Vietnam War.
   

Hey, dad, do you believe in ghosts? There's no such thing as ghosts. But our maid said there are ghosts. Pack your bags!!! Meet me out in the car -Now! Why? We don't have a maid.
Someone said to me, Roy, you're preaching to the choir. But I like to think of it as entertaining the troops. --Roy Zimmerman
..........He says it healthcare, he knows its wealthcare..........Roy Zimmerman …...Old Man Fibber
Masthead of the Week: fRiday ePistle May 11, 2018, Eerie ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Generic Tag Line. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS 66046
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The guy who paid $130,000 for sex called the Iran Agreement the “worst deal ever” --Submitted by ma of wv
Moonbeam: Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. If he ran unopposed he would have lost. --Mort Sahl
Cost of War:
As of 5/10/18 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,819,491,803,607.
As of 5/3/18 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,817,484,214,756.
As of 5/10/18 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $825,470,101,420.
As of 5/3/18 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $822,774,407,167.
As of 5/10/18 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $587,390,900,707.
As of 5/3/18 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $585,676,029,471.
As of 5/10/18 Veterans Care since 2001: $289,134,277,316.
As of 5/3/18 Veterans Care since 2001: $288,744,571,556.
As of 5/10/18 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,521,487,588,648.
As of 5/3/18 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,516,011,589,060.
Live in the serene peace of laboratories and libraries. --Louis Pasteur
..........Recused himself then he fired Comey.........Roy Zimmerman …..Pixie Man
Most of the Zimmerman songs listed today are from the ReZist concert in KC on the 3rd.
The last time I changed the furniture in my living room, the resident ghosts complained that they keep running through things and, by the way, I was playing the television too loud.
Famous Last Words: O my God! --Final episode of Dynasty.
May Peace lift your spirits
And Joy calm your ghosts
prairie mama
christine


Last Laugh


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