Famous
First Words: AN ACT making appropriations for sundry civil
expenses... Immigration
Laws and Regulations of 1894
This
week the students at the University of Kansas come back to a campus
where open carry (without license or permit) is allowed on campus.
Some people are making book on when the first death will occur. I
have “after the first big sports loss”./ Maybe this is crazy, but
I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot
by one. --Andy Borowitz
..........With
targets not much bigger than a pinpoint I'm number one.........Irving
Berlin …..You Can't Get a Man with a Gun
We
do not need guns and bombs to bring peace, we need love and
compassion. --Mother Teresa
It
is a beautiful Friday morning. The sky is nearly covered in thick
clouds decorated with curly-cues and valleys and mountains and
streaks of white with gray on the bottom. Yet the newly rising sun
peeks through here and there and highlights the tops of trees or the
side of a house. The clouds are moving steadily to the east but the
breeze at ground level flows from north to south, gently; it makes
the young trees dance but the older ones just jiggle the leaves at
the end their branches. It wafts the smell of tea roses about the
yard. There are no birds about and so no birdsong. But the sound of
distant trash trucks grinding and lifting and banging back down
provides a muted sound track. Puck and Pax are distracted from
their deck play by a pedestrian with a large, brown dog attached to
his belt with a roll-out leash. The barking becomes raucous but the
brown dog never speaks. At least the fountain, lost from time to
time in other noise, provides splashing joy. The sky is getting
darker and so we retreat indoors. It is warmish here so I turn on
the fan. And now I sit sweetened tartness in my cup and thoughts of
you in my head.
Hope
your weekend makes you laugh so hard tears run down your leg,
ePistliers.
Paul
Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George
Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion
clinic. History according to Sara Palin --Bill Maher / "I
suggest putting a teacher in every gun store." -Jeff Johnson
..........But
I wouldn't shoot without a cause.........Jerry Douglas …..Don't
Take Your Guns to Town
Trivia
Questions: Happy Birthday to the Late Berlin Wall !!
^
How long was the Berlin Wall, anyway?
^^
What constituted the “Death Zone”?
^^^
How high was the wall?
^^^^
How many people escaped over, around, or under the wall?
^^^^^
When did the wall come down?
Ejector
- A spring-activated mechanism for the
ejection of ammunition or and empty shell casing. On doubles, each
barrel has a separate ejector. ~~After I had already sent this out to my friends and relations, I realized I should have named it ePistol.
Senior
Moment of the Week: Welcome to the age where your secrets are
safe with your friends...they can't remember them either.
First
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
Somewhere in the dark corners of the internet, the alt-left is
planning universal healthcare and community gardens!!! --Submitted
by mj of ks
Fake
Library Statistic of the Week:
You aren't a real librarian until you've been shushed by a patron.
https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
If
women took up arms to defend their reproductive rights, the GOP would
ban assault rifles yesterday --Steve Marmel / Oh, you need a
magazine that holds 30 rounds? Is that in case the deer starts
shooting back? --Everlasting GOP Stoppers
..........'Cause
I've got you in the sight of my love gun.........Paul Rodgers …..The
Hunter
Moonbeam:
Give the lady what she wants! --Marshall Field
Something
to Think About of the Week:
Big
Hello: Sillaw – Kurdish (Sorani)
Week
of the Week:
National Resurrect Romance Week (August 13-19) - Boy: Do you have a
date for Valentine’s
Day? Girl:
Yes, February 14th.
Is
the daisy powerline 856 BB gun good for squirrels? No, it is too
long to hide in their nest and the trigger is too far forward for
their paws to be able to hold and fire at the same time. Most of the
squirrels in my hood just carry a small handgun, like a Glock 26 or
27. Hope this helps. --Submitted by sb of ak
..........Got
a barrel that's blue and cold.........Lynyrd Skynyrd …..Saturday
Night Special
^
The completed wall was a zigzag path of 96 miles (177.79 kilometers).
Of that 27 miles (50 km) divided Eastern Berlin from the west, the
rest of the barriers was separating Western Berlin from the rural
areas of Eastern Germany.
Almanac:
It is Friday, August 18, 2017.
The moon will be new on Tuesday and is in Cancer. It is Bad Poetry
Day, Birth Control Pills Day, Mail Order Catalog Day, and Serendipity
Day. In Hawaii it is Admission Day (1959).
Among
those born on this day were Virginia Dare (1587), Brook Taylor
(1685), Antonio Salieri (1750), Marshall Field (1834), Max Factor,
Jr. (1904), Caspar Weinberger (1917), Rosalynn Carter (1927), Robert
Redford (1937), and Martin Mull (1943).
On
August eighteenth Mt Vesuvius erupted (1834), the Bureau of
Immigration was created (1894), the Golf Writers Association of
America was formed (1946), Nabokov published Lolita (1958),
construction of the Berlin Wall began (1961), and James Meredith
became the first black American to graduate from Ole Miss (1963).
Night
Sky, 8/18: In early dawn Saturday morning the 19th, the waning
Moon is under Venus low in the east. Pollux and Castor are still to
Venus's left or upper left.
This
Week: Saturday, August 19 –
Aviation Day & International Orangutan Day & World Photo Day
Night
Sky, 8/19: August is prime Milky Way time, and the evening sky
is now moonless. After dark, the Milky Way runs from Sagittarius in
the south, up and left across Aquila and through the big Summer
Triangle very high in the east, and on down through Cassiopeia to
Perseus rising low in the north-northeast.
Sunday,
August 20 – Chef Appreciation Day & National Radio Day
Monday,
August 21 – Poet's Day & Senior Citizen's Day
Night
Sky, 8/21: Jupiter is very low in the WSW during twilight.
Saturn (in the legs of Ophiuchus) glows in the south at dusk.
Mercury and Mars are hidden in the glare of the sun.
Tuesday,
August 22 – Be An Angel Day & National Boa Day
Night
Sky, 8/22: Uranus and Neptune are well up in the SE in the
hours before dawn.
Wednesday,
August 23 – Valentino Day
Thursday,
August 24 – Knife Day & Vesuvius Day & National
Waffle Iron Day
Oh,
keeping God in schools would have prevented the recent shooting?
Please tell me how many cases of child molestation He's prevented in
churches. / How many NRA spokesmen do you need to change a light
bulb? More guns
..........Mother
Superior jump the gun..........The Beatles …..Happiness Is a Warm
Gun
^^
On August 13th, 1961 the first embodiment of the wall was
made out of barbed wire between rows of buildings. It was ultimately
consolidated by combining subsidiaries walls, trenches, electric
fences and a “death zone” made of two parallel walls closely
supervised by armed guards from the 302 watchtowers that were built
for that purpose.
Funniest
thing I read of the Week: Nazis are like cats. If they like
you, it's probably because you're feeding them. --John Oliver
Science
Fiction Convention of the Week:
The Starfleet International Conference, New Orleans, August 18-20.
I'm sorry to say this is one of the most boring pages for a con that
I have ever encountered. http://www.ic2017.org/
Moonbeam:
Here rests to soul of our nation – here also should be our
conscience. --Caspar Weinberger
Late
Night Snacks: Fox News host Eric Bolling has
been suspended following reports that he sent lewd photos to multiple
female coworkers. Or as Fox News is reporting it: “Did Hillary
Frame Eric Bolling?” --Seth Meyers / We reached an important
milestone today, because it was Donald Drumpf’s 200th day in the
White House today. Whooo! Of course, he celebrated in his favorite
way, by not going to work at the White House. --James Corden / As
of Friday, Donald Drumpf is on a 17-day vacation at his golf club in
Bedminster, New Jersey. He’s there to relax after months of
grueling golf at Mar-a-Lago. --Stephen Colbert / According to The
New York Times, Vice President Mike Pence is planning on running for
president if Drumpf doesn’t run for a second term. But he issued a
statement strongly denying the article, saying it was disgraceful,
offensive to me, my family and our entire team. He said to suggest he
is running for president in 2020 is laughable and absurd. Right, why
would Mike Pence want to be president in 2020? He’s going to be
president much, much sooner than that. --Jimmy Kimmel / I read that
the US has a plan to launch a cyberattack on North Korea. It’s
pretty serious. They say it could affect both of North Korea’s
computers. --Jimmy Fallon / Archaeologists have just uncovered
evidence of a Native American civilization that vanished, completely
vanished in the 13th century. Isn’t that amazing? Apparently they
died out months after selecting their new leader, Chief Drumpf. Then
they were gone. --Conan O'Brien
Not
So Late Night Snack of the Week: During the first week
of President Trump's three-week vacation at his golf club, observers
noted that his behavior was correlated to the weather. When it rained
and he couldn't golf, he sent angry tweets. Well, on Wednesday, it
must have been hailing turds from the sky...because the president
decided to threaten North Korea with nuclear war. Now, we found out
later that the president was quote, "improvising," when he
made that statement you heard. None of his advisers knew he was
going to say it. Well, the two things you do not want to hear
improvise are a jazz musician and Donald Trump. --Peter Sagal Wait,
Wait Don't Tell Me
To
achieve a lasting peace in the Middle East takes guts, not guns.
--Queen Rania of Jordan
Women
aspire to the same rights as guns. / Armed Guards in the Schools:
Nothing reassures parents more than surrounding their kids with the
kind of guys who have a lot of weapons and nothing to do on weekdays.
--Stephen Colbert
..........And
the notches on his pistol numbered one and nineteen
more.........Marty Robbins …..Big Iron
^^^
The wall was 11.81 feet tall.
Worthless
Facts of the Week: Born on June 25, 1933, a former serviceman
in the U.S. Air Force, James Meredith applied and was accepted to the
University of Mississippi in 1962, but his admission was revoked when
the registrar learned of his race. A federal court ordered “Ole
Miss” to admit him, but when he tried to register on September 20,
1962, he found the entrance to the office blocked by Mississippi
Governor, Ross Barnett. On September 28, the governor was found
guilty of civil contempt and was ordered to cease his interference
with desegregation at the university or face arrest and a fine of
$10,000 a day. Two days later, Meredith was escorted onto the Ole
Miss campus by U.S. Marshals, setting off riots that resulted in the
deaths of two students. He returned the next day and began classes.
Meredith, who was a transfer student from all-black Jackson State
College, graduated the next year.
Wicked
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Be like Panda – He's
White, he's Black, he's Asian.
Weird
Word of the Week:
Widdiful – Somebody who deserved to be hanged. From a northern
English & Scottish word widdy or widdie – branch of a tree.
“Will you shut the bloody noise off, you bloody widdiful!”
Philips said in a shout... The
Reachers by
David Drake, 2003.
http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-wid1.htm
Wacky
Uses for Common Products:
Prevent grease fires in barbecue grills. Cover the bottom of the
grill with a one-inch layer of unused Tidy Cats box filler to reduce
fires. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/tidycats.html
"No
one's taking away ALL the guns. But now I get it, now I see what's
happening. So this is what it is. Their paranoid fear of a possible
dystopic future prevents us from addressing our actual dystopic
present. We can't even begin to address 30,000 gun deaths that are
actually, in reality, happening in this country every year because a
few of us must remain vigilant against the rise of imaginary Hitler."
--Jon Stewart
...........Where
you going with that gun in your hand.........Jimi Hendrix …..Hey,
Joe
^^^^
At least 138 people died
trying to cross the border. While some did make it safely across, it
is unclear how many people exactly reached the western part. Before
the wall was erected, 1,000 per day (1961) were escaping.
Word
Shakespeare Made Up of the Week: Majestic – having or
showing impressive beauty or dignity. Julius Caesar
Act I Scene II Cassius: It doth amaze me a man of such a feeble
temper should so get the start of the majestic world and bear the
palm alone.
Next
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
Not many presidents could make threatening nuclear war the second
worst thing he did in a week. --Gady Epstein
Language
of Peace of the Week: In the Afar language of Ethiopia,
Eritrea, & Djibouti Salaamata means peace.
Puck
the Brave Episode of the Week:
Here's our fearless Puck walking away from a situation in the case of
the Armed Aryan
Molossus.
"Impeach
President Reagan retroactively for agreeing with Obama on the assault
weapons ban." -John Fugelsang / Birth control and reproductive
health services are harder to get than bullets. What is that about?
Guns don't kill people – vaginas do? --Shannyn Moore
..........I've
been dodgin' bullets, I've been hiding in the dark.........Carrie
Underwood …..Cupid's Got a Shotgun
^^^^^
On the night of November 9, 1989, East German authorities suddenly
opened the border crossing, and thousands of jubilant Germans
celebrated by dancing on top of the wall and chipping away at it with
hammers and chisels.
Month
of the Week:
August is National Truancy Prevention Month ~~because it is much
easier to prevent truancy in a month when school is out. ...You
might be a redneck if you and your truant
officer
shoot pool during school hours.
'Nother
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
In preparation for an upcoming neo-Nazi march in the small Bavarian
town of Wunsiedel, local residents decided to fight back in a
hilariously perfect way: by sponsoring each of the 250 fascist
participants. According to Heeb
Magazine,
"For every metre they walked, €10 went to a programme called
EXIT Deutschland, which helps people escape extremist groups."
The
anti-semitic walkers didn't figure out the town's scheme until they
had already started their march, and by that time, it was too late to
turn back. The end result? The neo-Nazis raised more than $12,000 to
fund programs to put an end to neo-Nazis. --Submitted by gd or
az or nm, I'm not sure where he is, apparently.
Most
Beautiful Thing in the State:
Cataract Falls, Indiana The largest waterfall in the state of
Indiana can be found inside Cataract State Park. Cataract Falls drops
for a total of 86 feet, with the upper falls making up 20 feet of
this figure. The hike to the falls is of moderate difficulty and less
than three miles in length, with the best time to visit between
December and May. As Cataract Falls is made up a long series of
cascades, many of the trails within Cataract State Park are within
site of the beautiful falling water.
https://www.thecrazytourist.com/15-most-beautiful-places-to-visit-in-indiana/
Today's
Peace of History: Today's Peace of History, August 18, 1920:
Women throughout the US won the right to vote when the Tennessee
legislature approved the 19th amendment to the Constitution (the last
of 36 states then required to approve it). An amendment for universal
suffrage was first introduced in Congress in 1878, and Wyoming had
granted suffrage in state law by 1890.
Of
course I believe that background checks should be mandatory before
the NRA can buy a senator. / The only way background checks take away
your 2nd Amendment rights are, my friends, if you're a
criminal, a terrorist, or insane. And if you're all three, you're
probably already a lobbyists for the NRA. --John Fugelsang
..........She
ain't never gonna be the same.........Aerosmith …..Janie's Got a
Gun
Masthead
of the Week:
fRiday ePistle August 18, 2017. Online at:
http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/
The
Smoking Gun of Humor and Peace.
Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS
66046
Final
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Sign
in the zoo: Please do not feed the wild animals. They become reliant
and will soon want cell phones.
Moonbeam:
Do what you can to show you care about other people, and you will
make our world a better place. --Rosalynn Carter
Cost
of War:
Tax
dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 8/17/17: $780,748,937,646911.
Tax
dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 8/9/17: $780,080,140,911.
Tax
dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 8/17/17:
$820,750,416,021.
Tax
dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 8/9/17:
$820,730,870,304.
Tax
dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 8/17/17: $16,376,751,082.
Tax
dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 8/9/17: $16,273,956,956.
Tax
dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 8/17/17:
$157,317,682,776
Tax
dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 8/9/17:
$156,745,706,012
Tax
dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 8/17/17:
$1,780,269,620,852.
Tax
dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 8/9/17:
$1,778,872,920,608.
The
path of violence has not yielded anything. Shed guns and adopt the
path of peace, unity, goodwill, and brotherhood. --Narendra Modi
..........How
was I to know she was with the Russians too?........Warren Zevon
…..Lawyers, Guns and Money
I'm
going to tell people that the president is going to take away our
math and science books. Maybe the same folks hoarding guns and ammo
will buy these too. / "One failed attempt at a shoe bomb and we
all take off our shoes at the airport. Thirty-one school shootings
since Columbine and no change in our regulation of guns." --John
Oliver
Famous
Last Words: this is the only immortality you and I may share,
my Lolita. –Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita
May
Peace prevail
And
Joy succeed
prairie
mama
christine
Last
Laugh: Wow – an anti-fascist Dr. Seuss cartoon...amazing.
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