Friday, September 30, 2016

eNdival ePistle

Famous First Words: Oh, help me! ...Tamino The Magic Flute
Today is Hug a Vegetarian Day! How many carnivores does it take to change a light bulb? None, they would rather stay in the dark about things. / How many vegetarians does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, but where do you get your protein?
..........Never even think of counting sheep.........Johnny Mathis ..…in the Wee Small Hours of the Morning
Peace is not unity in similarity but unity in diversity, in the comparison and conciliation of differences. -- Mikhail Gorbachev
It is a cool (47°F) Friday morning. There is not a single hint of cloud in the sky and no bird sings matins nor graces our trees and feeders. No breeze kisses the cheek or forces the coolness into the clothing but fingers and noses begin to chill. The world is wonderfully colored; grass avoided the August browns this year and is strong and green and so heavy with dew that it sparkles even in the shadow. Deep autumn yellow mums are popping out while the subtle pinks of the last tea roses still abide. The sound of splashing water from the fountain and the muffled roar of distant traffic provide the soundtrack. There are not even people walking dogs for Puck to warn away; but the trash truck rolls by and I cover my ears until it finishes and moves on. I bring my hands to my mouth the warm them with my breath and they smell of ivory soap and coffee beans. Mmmuumm. So we return to freshly brewed decaf and thoughts of you.
Hope your weekend in warm and spicy, ePistliers.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Colonel Sanders was chasing her. / Why did the vegetarian cross the road? She was protesting for the chicken. / Why did the tofu cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken.
..........only darkness every day.........Freddie King …..Ain't No Sunshine
Trivia Questions: It's Save the Koalas Day!
^ Koala's aren't really bears, what are they?
^^ Where do Koala's live?
^^^ What do Koala's do all night?
^^^^ Why?
^^^^^ How come Koala's need saving?
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 23% of librarians punk coworkers at staff parties by making the most disgusting recipe they can find in a donation pile cookbook. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Moonbeam: Inequality, I think, breeds freedom and gives a man opportunity. --Lester Maddox
Why does vegan cheese taste so bad? It wasn't tested on mice. / Mary couldn't take it anymore she went back to eating meat; you could say she lost her veg-inity.
..........Forever is over.........Deborah Allen …..Break These Chains
Something to Think About of the Week: The amazing thing is that every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. And, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand. It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust. --Lawrence M. Krauss
Big Hello: Bonjou – Haitian Creole (Haiti)
Week of the Week: Banned Books Week (September 26 – October 1) – Calling a book “Young Adult” is just a fancy way of saying the book is censored. --Oliver Markus
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Retropalooza 2016 (Arlington, TX / October 1-2) Enjoy all things retro – toys, music, video games...there's even a Tetris tournament on Sunday afternoon. http://retropalooza.com/

How should I spice these veggie-burgers? Doesn't matter, they're not suppose to taste good. /Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
..........Why do birds sing so gay.........Frankie Lymon …..Why Do Fools Fall in Love
^ Though often called the koala "bear," this cuddly animal is not a bear at all; it is a marsupial, or pouched mammal. After giving birth, a female koala carries her baby in her pouch for about six months.
Almanac: It is Friday, September 30, 2016. The moon is new (Black*) today and is in Libra. It is Blasphemy Day, International Translation Day, and National Mulled Cider Day. Because it is the last Friday it is also Hug a Vegetarian Day, Save the Koala Day, Sport Purple for Platelets Day, and Vegan Baking Day.
Among those born on this day were Robinson Crusoe (1627), Jean Perrin (1870), Kenny Baker (1912), Lester Maddox (1915), Deborah Kerr (1921), Truman Capote (1924), Elie Wiesel (1928), Angie Dickinson (1931), Freddie King (1934), Johnny Mathis (1935), Frankie Lymon (1942), Marilyn McCoo (1943), Rula Lenska (1947), Deborah Allen (1953), and Dave Magadan (1962).
On September thirtith Guttenberg published his first book (Bible, 1452), The Magic Flute premiered (Vienna, 1791), the US claimed the Midway Islands (1867), Bechuanaland became a British protectorate (1885), the city of New York was established (1898), the first manned rocket plane took flight (1929), Hoover Dam was dedicated (1934), Porgy and Bess premiered (1935), the first Congress of International Astronautical Federation opened (Paris, 1950), the first atomic-powered submarine was launched (1954), the last episode of Howdy Doody aired (1960), San Francisco's Palace of Fine Arts reopened (1967), the first automatic docking in space took place (Kosmos 186 & 188, 1967), the summer Olympics opened in Seoul, South Korea (1981), and Haitian president, Jean-Bertand Aristide was ousted (1991).
Tonight's Sky: October Planets: Morning sky: Mercury, Jupiter. Night sky: Uranus. Evening sky: Venus, Saturn, Mars
* A Black moon is the second new moon in a calendar month. This happens about every 32 months.
This Week: Saturday, October 1 – National Lace Day & International Music Day
Sunday, October 2 – Guardian Angels Day & Islamic New Year
Monday, October 3 – Day of Unity & World Habitat Day
Tuesday, October 4 – Improve Your Office Day & National Taco Day
Night Sky, October 4: The Orionids meteor shower - medium strength shower that sometimes reaches high strength activity.
Wednesday, October 5 – Balloons Around the World Day & Walk to School Day
Thursday, October 6 – Mad Hatter Day & Ecological Debt Day
Pandas are living proof that one can be fat eating just salad. / A couple's vegetarian son was coming home from university for Thanksgiving so they killed the fatted zucchini.
.......... I'm as helpless as a kitten up a tree.........Johnny Mathis …..Misty
^^ Koalas live in eastern Australia, where the eucalyptus trees they love are most plentiful. In fact, they rarely leave these trees, and their sharp claws and opposable digits easily keep them aloft.
Funniest thing I read of the Week: After watching copious amounts of crime dramas, I have come to the conclusion that serial killers only kill women with matching bra and panty sets. I feel so much safer now. --Submitted by dl of ks
Moonbeam: To me, the greatest pleasure of writing is not what it's about, but the inner music that words make. --Truman Capote
Late Night Snacks: This weekend some jerk placed pressure cooker bombs in a couple different places around New York City. One reason that more people weren’t hurt is that this jerk left duffel bags on the street, and two of the bombs were discovered by thieves snatching bags. Because, as all New Yorkers know: If you see something, steal something. --Setphen Colbert / Six members of the cast of “The West Wing” are going to campaign for Hillary Clinton at an event in Ohio. The move has backfired, though — now everyone in Ohio is voting for Martin Sheen. --Conan O'Brien / A letter written by George Washington in 1786 is going on sale for $35,000. The letter is to a friend and says, “Don’t tell anyone, but I was born in Kenya.” --Jimmy Fallon / Yahoo today announced that at least 500 million user accounts have been hacked, which would be one of the biggest cyber security breaches ever. They got information from 500 million people who are still inexplicably using Yahoo. --Jimmy Kimmel / Amazon in Japan is now offering a priest delivery service for Buddhists who don’t have a local temple. The box may look empty when it arrives, but after you gaze into it you realize the priest was inside you all along. --Seth Meyers / Donald Trump, America's wealthiest hemorrhoid... --John Oliver
We may have different religions, different languages, different colored skin, but we all belong to one human race. -– Kofi Annan.
How to confuse a vegetarian:

..........Baby, come as you are.........Marilyn McCoo & Billy Davis Jr. …..You Don't Have to Be a Star
^^^ While tucked into the forks or nooks of a eucalyptus, a koala (Phascolarctos cinereus) may rest for between 18 and 20 hours a day.
Worthless Fact of the Week: The iconic Palace of Fine Arts in San Francisco is one of the most photographed sites in the city; it has been featured in numerous film and TV productions. It’s also a popular wedding location and dazzling performance venue, as well as a wonderful place for a stroll after a visit to the Exploratorium. ~~I loved the Exploratorium and recommmend it to anyone visiting San Francisco.
Weird Word of the Week: Alcopop – A type of alcoholic drink designed and marketed to appeal to young people. “Critics of alcopops say they are cynically packaged to appeal to under-age drinkers; the industry retorts that it is up to retailers to uphold the law. --Guardian, May 1997” http://www.worldwidewords.org/turnsofphrase/tp-alc1.htm
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The latest Young Adult Books: Jerry Potter and the Dollar Store Cloak.
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Protect a blister or corn. Using a pair of scissors, cut a Stayfree Maxi Pad into a donut shape and place over the blister, leaving the hole over the blister and letting the adhesive strip adhere to the skin. The maxi pad will protect the blister while it heals. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/stayfree.html
What does a vegetarian zombie eat? GggrrrrRRAAAIIiiinnNNnnnsSs. / I follow a strict vegetarian diet; I only eat vegetarians.
...........I put the ooh in the ooh wah wah.........Frankie Lymon ….I Put the Bomp
^^^^ There is a myth that Koalas sleep a lot because they ‘get drunk’ on gumleaves. Fortunately, this is not correct! Most of their time is spent sleeping because it requires a lot of energy to digest their toxic, fibrous, low-nutrition diet and sleeping is the best way to conserve energy
Word Shakespeare Made Up of the Week: Caked – encrusted with a thick or sticky substance that hardens when dry. Timon of Athens Act II, Scene II (Timon)
Third Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If I woke up and nothing hurt, I'd think I was dead.
Amazing Thing on the Internet of the Week: Who's Banking Against the Sioux? Here is a chart about which banks are bankrolling the North Dakota Pipeline project; http://nativenewsonline.net/currents/russell-means-wife-pearl-means-calls-boycott-banks-funding-dakota-access-pipeline/
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck on the runway wearing his new halter of cobalt blue in the case of the Modeling Mudi. ~~Because he pulled his collar off barking rabidly at another dog on our morning constitutional.
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? / 9 out of 10 cannibals agree – vegetarians taste better.
..........A woman with a mind, a body with a soul.........Deborah Allen …..All That I Am
^^^^^ These plump, fuzzy mammals were widely hunted during the 1920s and 1930s, and their populations plunged. Helped by reintroduction, they have reappeared over much of their former range, but their populations are smaller and scattered. Koalas need a lot of space—about a hundred trees per animal—a pressing problem as Australia's woodlands continue to shrink.
Month of the Week: October is Medical Librarian Month – A patron asked the librarian where the books on suicide were located. She replied, “They should be right over here, but once checked out...they rarely come back.”
Famous Kansans: Carrie Westcott, Playboy Playmate of the Month (September 1993) was born in Mission Hills in 1969. She also starred in a number of films made by Playboy in the 1990s. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0922496/
Today's Peace of History: Today's Peace of History, September 30, 2004: The U.S. Navy announced the shutdown of Project ELF. (Extremely Low Frequencies).
Headlines: Restaurants Beef Up Vegetarian Menus (Wall Street Journal 10/15/91) / Strictly Vegetarian Trader Brings Home the Bacon (LA Times 8/21/88)
..........Lord, that's worrying me.........Freddie King …..I Had a Dream
Masthead of the Week: fRiday ePistle September 30, 2016: eNdival ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Old News but Relatively New jokes. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS 66046
Moonbeam: Mankind must remember that peace is not God's gift to his creatures; peace is our gift to each other. --Elie Wiesel
Cost of War:
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 9/29/16: $749,811,737,054.
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 9/22/16: $749,131,500,887.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 9/29/16: $819,846,239,360.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 9/22/16: $819,826,358,426.
Tax dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 9/29/16: $11,621,716,432.
Tax dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 9/22/16: $11,517,206,089.
Tax dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 9/29/16: $130,859,781,355.
Tax dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 9/22/16: $130,278,140,208.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 9/29/16: $1,715,661,318,645.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 9/22/16: $1,714,240,965,889.
I am not an Athenian, nor am I a Greek. I am a citizen of the world. -– Socrates
..........and then we'll move on.........Johnny Mathis …..Come Saturday Morning
How many vegetables died for your stupid salad? / If animals weren't meant to be eaten, why are they made out of meat? / I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
Famous Last Words: Goodbye, kids. --Clarabell on the final Howdy Doody show
May Peace weed your garden
And Joy reap your harvest
prairie mama
christine




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