Starry Starry ePistle

 Famous First Words: Open covenants of peace...Wilson's first of fourteen points

Happy Birthday, Stephen Hawking ! (He would have been 79) ...a Black Hole in Uranus and other astrophysical jokes... / What happens in the black hole, stays in the black hole.

..........Ground Control to Major Tom..........David Bowie …..Space Oddity

Where ignorance is our master, there is no possibility of real peace. --Dalai Lama

It is a cold (28°F) Friday morning. The sky is blue with weak streaks of thin gray clouds. There is little breeze and the willow branches hang motionless in graceful strings. The lawns are brown with dead grass and/or leaves but all the snow is melted and gone. Our neighborhood murder of crows is passing by and filling the air with deep caws and lazy shadows. Puck has gone out into the cold and returned for his early morning nap. I sit at my desk enjoying holiday cheer decaf with its cinnamon aroma and spicy taste; I watch the rising sun shift shadows down the side of Bruno's house. What a calm, clear morning.

Hope your weekend is a starburst of fun, ePistliers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Happiness is … finding the perfect position that satisfies the right angle for reading while keeping your entire body warm under a blanket.

Reason to fall in love with a Black Hole: A black hole will keep your secrets to itself, forever. / The bartender says, sorry we don't serve particles faster than light. A neutrino walks into a bar.

..........And I don't know what to do.........Little Anthony and the Imperials …..I'm on the Outside

Trivia Questions: Happy National Bubble Bath Day

^ What can you add to a Bubble Bath to ease sore muscles?

^^ How are soap bubbles formed, anyway?

^^^ Where do bubbles get all those swirly colors?

^^^^ What can you add to a Bubble Bath to help you sleep better?

^^^^^ Why do the bubbles in a Bubble Bath keep disappearing?

Big Hello: Que tal? Hola – Chabacano de Zamboanga (Philippines & Malaysia) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: After all the stupid things I've done in my life, if I die because I touch my face, I'm gonna be pissed. --Submitted by sb of ks

Max Picture of the Week: Max in solitude

Fake Library Statistic of the Week: The average librarian's to-be-read pile is equal to half their height times 2. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Black holes v Doughnut Holes: Once you go black, you never go back. / That's no black hole, captain, that's the US economy.

..........I'm itchin' like a man in a fuzzy tree.........Elvis Presley …..All Shook Up

Moonbeam: Our words are giants when they do us an injury, and dwarfs when they do us a service. --William Wilkie Collins

Meditation of the Week: Rejoice: Now, the puppy (your mind) is familiar with you and loves you, and she likes to sit next to you. When she does, you rejoice. If you catch her wandering, also rejoice at having such a lovely puppy before gently bringing her back. How to Bring Humor to Meditation (berkeley.edu)

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Grandchildren are like children, only you can give them back. --Ms Johnston Jingle Jangle

Random Thought of the Week: I just had a thought. Trump is a great admirer of Hitler. Rumor is that Hilter took his own life in the bunker. Maybe Trump plans to shoot himself in the oval office.

Week of the Week: Dating & Life Coaches Recognition Week: If you have a problem eating coins, perhaps you should consult a life coach. It'll inspire the change within yourself. / I got a text from my life coach today. He said I didn't make the team.

Niece of Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Well, it was a solid 5 days. Here's to 2022. --Submitted by #RHOZ

Dark Matter: We're quietly confident that it smells of cinnamon. / Latest Hubble Telescope discovery: A Starbuck's on Saturn.

..........Please let's forget the past, the future looks bright ahead.........Elvis Presley …..Don't Be Cruel

^ Ease sore muscles – Are muscles aching from new year’s workouts? Ease the ache with a warm bubble bath. Add some Epsom salts, too.

Almanac: It is Friday, January 8, 2021. The moon was last quarter on Wednesday and is in Libra. It is Argyle Day, Bubble Bath Day, Earth's Rotation Day, National English Toffee Day, Midwife's Day aka Women's Day, National Bubble Bath Day, National Joy Germ Day, Show and Tell Day at Work, and War on Poverty Day. In Louisiana it is Battle of New Orleans Day aka Old Hickory Day aka Jackson Day (1815).

Among those born on this day were Nicolas Coustou (1658), Robert Schumann (1810), Alfred Russel Wallace (1823), William Wilkie Collins (1824), Frank Doubleday (1862), Emily Greene Balch (1867), Richard Courant (1888), Queen Marie (of Yugoslavia, 1900), William Hartnell (1908), Thelma McQueen (Butterfly, 1911), Jose Ferrer (1912), Soupy Sales (Milton Hines, 1926), Elvis Presley (1935), Bob Eubanks (1938), Little Anthony (Gourdine, 1940), Stephen Hawking (1942), Terry Brooks (1944), and David Bowie (Jones, 1947).

On January eighth Pope Innocentius II was elected (1198), the New York Fishing Company became the first colonial chartered corporation (1656), Handel's Almira premiered (1705), the first "State of the Union" address was delivered (Washington, 1790), the 11th Amendment was ratified (Judicial powers, 1798), The Boston Academy of Music became the first US music school (1833), DC blacks were given the right to vote (1867), Fire destroyed the Columbus World's Fair in Chicago (1894), Wilson outlined his 14 points (1918), Youth for Christ was organized (1945), Jordan adopted its constitution (1952), LBJ declared War on Poverty (1964), Pompidou became premier of France (1966), Shostakovich's 15th symphony premiered (Moscow, 1972), NCAA opens championships in 5 women's sports (1980), Papa Bush threw up in the Japanese prime minister's lap (1992), and Michael Jordan scored his 20,000th career point (1993).

Night Sky, 1/8: If your sky is even moderately dark, try to trace out the winter Milky Way arching across the sky. In early evening it extends up from the west-northwest horizon along the vertical Northern Cross of Cygnus, up and over to the right past dim Cepheus and through Cassiopeia high in the north, then to the right and lower right through Perseus and Auriga, down between the feet of Gemini and Orion's Club, and on down toward the east-southeast horizon between Procyon and Sirius. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Image of the Week: Senate aides carrying the electoral votes to safety during the insurrection.

This Week: Saturday, January 9 – Eagle Day & National Cassoulet Day & National Static Electricity Day

Sunday, January 10 – League of Nations Day * National Sunday Supper Day

Night Sky, 1/10: By early January Orion has fully come into his own. He's now striding up the east-southeastern sky as soon as it gets dark, with his three-star Belt nearly vertical.

Monday, January 11 – Learn Your Name In Morse Code Day & Plough Monday

Tuesday, January 12 – Asarah B'Tevet (day one) & National Poetry at Work Day

Wednesday, January 13 – Korean American Day & Rubber Ducky Day & Public Radio Broadcasting Day

Night Sky, 1/13 : Above Orion shines orange Aldebaran with the large, loose Hyades cluster in its background. Binoculars are the ideal instrument for this cluster given its size: its brightest stars (4th and 5th magnitude) span an area about 4° wide. (Higher above, the Pleiades are hardly more than 1° across counting just the brightest stars.)

Thursday, January 14 – Dress Up Your Pet Day & International Kite Day & World Logic Day

Reason to fall in love with a Black Hole: A black hole will hug you so tightly that you will never be able to escape it. / Little known fact – Chuck Norris beat a black hole at tug-of-war.

..........It was like paradise.........Little Anthony & the Imperials …..Shimmy, Shimmy Ko-Ko Bop

^^ Though soap bubbles are traditionally made from (you guessed it) soap, most bubble solutions consist of detergent in water. Glycerin often is added as an ingredient. Detergents form bubbles in much the same way as soap, but detergents will form bubbles even in tap water, which contains ions that could prevent soap bubble formation.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Never blame someone else for the road you're on. That's your own asphalt. --Submitted by the #RHOZ

Moonbeam: The desire for liberty has also made itself felt as struggle against domestic tyranny or arbitrary rule --Emily Greene Balch

Late Night Snacks of the Week: I just like to imagine what everyone else was doing on the other end of the phone call while Trump was rambling like a lunatic for an hour. It’s like when you put your grandpa on speaker phone while you do household chores and then he just casually confesses to a crime. --Seth Meyers / He bragged, he challenged, he threatened, he told the secretary of state he’d come to Georgia and eat all their peaches, nothing. He really is the weakest, whiniest little dictator imaginable. --Jimmy Kimmel / This has got to be a painful moment for Pence...having to choose between the country he loves and the man he’s pledged to help destroy it...almost as gut-wrenching as the time he accidentally ate a salted cracker. --Stephen Colbert

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Santa Ollie on Mama Elf's lap

Classic Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: All right. Here's your first question. John A. Gotti is the son of John J. Gotti, the famous Mafia don. But his friends and relatives realized that Junior was not cut out for the family business when he said what - A, quote, "wait, you mean Dad's not in the sanitation industry?" - B, quote, "Let's make him an offer, see if he refuses and, if so, consider our other options"; or C, quote, "I love Cracker Barrel, especially the country-fried steak"? --Peter Sagal Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me 9/26/20 ~~The answer is C

If we do not work for individual transformation, talking about world peace is just entertainment. --Jaggi Vasudev

It is generally believed that skylab fell to earth in 1979. Actually it was Jimmy Carter's re-election campaign. / If tachyons do exist, and if they do go faster than the speed of light, then I'm determined to find something that goes faster than tachyons.

..........And my time was runnin' wild..........David Bowie …..Changes

^^^ A bubble gets its color from light waves reflecting between the soap film’s outer and inner surfaces. The distance between the layers gets smaller as the water evaporates, making the colors change. Bubbles can also reflect what’s around them, like the faces peering at them.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Fools multiply when wise men are silent. --Nelson Mandela

Weird Word of the Week: Yealm or yelm – the largest bundle of straw that could be carried under the arm at one time. World Wide Words: Yealm

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Remove a ring stuck on a finger. Rub on a little Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing, then hold your hand up toward the ceiling to drain the blood from the area, and slide off the ring. Alberto VO5®: Wacky Uses

Son of Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: What if the coins you find randomly at the bottom of drawers and in between couch cushions are actually from spiders trying to pay rent.

Puzzle of the Week: This challenge came from listener David Curren of Arlington, Mass. Think of a familiar two-word phrase (5, 2). Replace the last letter with the next letter of the alphabet. The result will be a palindrome (the seven letters will read backward and forward the same). What phrase is it? Answer below

Reason to fall in love with a Black Hole: Understanding black holes is difficult but much much simpler than understanding people. / Yo mama's so fat the escape velocity at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 M/S.

...........Didn't know what time it was..........David Bowie …..Starman

^^^^ Sleep better – Add some lavender oil to your bubble bath at night and relax your body and mind before bed. Relaxed muscles combined with the lavender will nudge your body toward a better sleep routine.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The audio of Trump with the Georgia secretary of state. Wow. It's like telling the Nixon tapes to “hold my beer.” --Dan Rather

Science Fiction Joke of the Week: How many Borg does it take to change a light bulb? All of them. / R2D2 was the most vulgar character of all time. They bleeped out every single word he said.

Actual Science Joke of the Week: How do you know when the moon is going broke? When it's down to its last quarter. / One tectonic plate bumped into another and said, “Sorry, my fault”.

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Queue Up

If you were unimpressed by the first pictures of a black hole, you clearly don't understand the gravity of the situation. / Invisible rays hold everything together. It is unified and it is a theory, but it's not the Unified Theory we've all been looking for.

..........If we could start anew, I wouldn't hesitate.........Little Anthony & the Imperials …..Tears on My Pillow

^^^^^ Bubbles are generated by agitation, e.g. when water is run into the bath. When the supply of bubbles stops, gravity and evaporation thin the bubble walls, and the population gets depleted. To keep them coming, agitate the surface or blow air through the water.

Month of the Week: January is National Hot Tea Month --The only dinosaur who loved drinking tea was the Tea-Rex / I have been visiting the same Coffee & Tea shop for the past 30 years. That's what I call long java Tea.

Recreating Famous Painting With Anything You Can Find of the Week:

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: So you've been been eatin' hot dogs and chicken nuggets all your life and you don't want the vaccine 'cuz you don't know what's in it??--Allan Tuttle --Submitted by eg of mt

Today's Peace of History, January 8, 1961: The people of France voted to grant Algeria its independence in a referendum. This followed more than 130 years of French colonial control of the north African country. The result was a clear majority for self-determination, with 75% voting in favor.

This black hole is brighter than my future. / Yo mama's so fat if she moved past a black hole at high velocity it would create a closed timeline curve.

..........Although it's always crowded.........Elvis Presley …..Heartbreak Hotel

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle January 8, 2021, Starry, Starry ePistle. Black peace, black humor, black holes. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: Life would be tragic if it weren't funny. --Stephen Hawking

Cost of War:

As of 1/7/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,094,130,521,116.

As of 12/31/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,092,124,706,951.

As of 1/7/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,012,117,887,521.

As of 12/31/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,010,754,726,755.

As of 1/7/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $822,033,753,773.

As of 12/31/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $820,319,915,708.

As of 1/7/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $342,462,200,391.

As of 12/31/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $342,072,689,221.

As of 1/7/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,270,744,008,972.

As of 12/31/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,265,272,897,238.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

I think it's naive to pray for world peace if we're not going to change the form in which we live. --Godfrey Reggio

Famous Last Words: ...or Subjects of any Foreign State. --11^th Amendment US Constitution

..........And cuddle me real tight.........Elvis Presley …..Teddy Bear

Math puns are the first sine of madness. / You mama's so fat light bends around her. / Since light travels faster than sound, people may appear bright until you hear them speak.

May Peace be your power

And Joy be your energy

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Happy New Year, ePistle

 Famous First Words: Italy is a democratic Republic based on labor... Constitution of Italy

Starting today hindsight is actually 2020 / Resolutions for 2021: Buy, beg, borrow, or steal all the 2020 calendars I can find and burn them in a giant Epiphany fire.

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to. --Bill Vaughn

..........When it's exactly twelve o'clock that night..........Ella Fitzgerald …..What Are You Doing New Year's Eve

I'm already against the next war. --Jeff L McLaughlin

It is a cold (28°F) and snowy New Year's morning. Yards are almost pure white with only frozen plants and piles of oak leaves making dots and lines of color. The flakes themselves are small and falling rapidly with only a slight hint of a northern breeze. Even the willow branches are barely moving. The tall pin oak is highlighted with the white stuff even the down sloping branches and the tree whose species I do not know stands still and gathers white fluff in its joints. I hear a dog barking in the distance but birds and squirrels are still at home. Puck went out and left his footprints on the world and then returned to cuddle with the little squeaky bear he got for Christmas. Together they are taking a long winter's nap. I am adding layers to my clothing and sitting by the window watching gusts of wind change the direction of the flow. Sipping Holiday Cheer decaf from a Christmas Cheer mug warms the nostrils and tongue and coaxes the brain into alertness. Ah, a new day, a new year...

May your weekend and your year give you comfort and cheer, my ePistlier.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If I'm ever known as the one that got away, it will be from an asylum. -Submitted by INRITH

Resolutions for 2021: Relearn social cues and appropriate responses. / Change my shirt.

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions. --Joey Admas

..........We've come through all the rest..........Barry Manilow …..It's Just Another New Year's Eve

Trivia Questions: It's bowl season.

^ Know who's playing in the Rose Bowl this year?

^^ Where is the Sugar Bowl and when will it be held this year?

^^^ Any idea who'll be playing in the Sugar Bowl?

^^^^ About how many college bowl games will be played this year?

^^^^^ What do you know about the College Championship Game?

Big Hello: Kopisanangan – Central Dusun (Borneo, Malaysia) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I don't need to know the entire plot for 2020, I just need to understand if I should buy skincare and sweatpants or a purse and some shoes. --Submitted by INRITH

Max Picture of the Week: Sir Hillary Max climbing Mount Dad.

Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 38% of librarian cursing is caused by the inter-library loan system. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Resolutions for 2021: Write a novel made up of facebook responses to the question: What advice would you give to any Real Housewives cast member. / Walk all the way to the back porch.

It wouldn't be New Years if I didn't have regrets. --William Thomas

..........took a long time to come..........The Zombies …..This Will Be Our Year

Moonbeam: England has always been disinclined to accept human nature. – E M Forster

Meditation of the Week: Relax: “Relax and allow your puppy [mind] to wander, but if she gets too far away, gently and lovingly carry her back.” From the puppy meditation

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: There are literally NO rules saying your New Year's resolutions can't be for evil. --Submitted by INRITH

Week of the Week: New Year's Resolutions Week (1-8) --A New Year's Resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other. / My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions.

Resolutions for 2021: Unfriend every person who shares their diet or exercise regimen. / Cut my TV time from 12 to 11 hours.

Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect. --Brooks Atkinson

..........If I don't see you when the bonfires are burning.........Van Morrison …..Celtic New Year

^ On Friday 1/1/21 at 3 pm (CST) Number 4 Notre Dame will face off against Number 1 Alabama.

Almanac: It is Friday, January 1, 2021. The moon was full (Cold) on Tuesday, and is in Leo. It is Copyright Law Day, Commitment Day, Ellis Island Day, Euro Day, Global Family Day, New Years Day, New Year's Dishonor List Day, Public Domain Day, World Day of Peace, and Z Day.

Among those born on this day were Johann Pfeiffer (1697), Edmund Burke (1729), Paul Revere (1735), Mad Anthony Wayne (1745), Betsy Ross (1752), John Kinker (1764), Charles Renouvier (1815), Nikolay Lodizhensky (1843), James Frazer (1854), Alfred Stieglitz (1864), E.M. Forster (1879), Shalom Asch (1880), George W. Meyer (1884), J Edgar Hoover (1895), Xavier Cugat (1900), Dana Andrews (1909), Barry Goldwater (1909), Joe McDonald (1942), Martin Frost (1942) and Alexei Bobrov (1947),

On January first Samuel Pepys made the first entry in his famous diary (1660), regular mail delivery began between New York & Boston (1673), the first traveler's checks were issued (1772), Ireland & Great Britain united to form the United Kingdom (1801), congress prohibited the importation of slaves (1807), the Emancipation Proclamation was issued (1861), NYC annexed the Bronx (1874), Dr. Watson met Sherlock Holmes (1881), Ellis Island becomes reception center for new immigrants (1892), the first issue of Journal of Negro History was published (1916), Union of Socialist Soviet Republics was established (1923), Alcatraz officially became a federal prison (1934), Italy adopted its constitution (1948). the European Economic Community (Common Market) began operation (1958), Batista fled from Cuba to the Dominican Republic (1959), a major revision of copyright laws was signed (1978), Brunei became independent of the UK (1984), and New York City got its first black mayor ((David Dinkins, 1990).

Night Sky, 1/1: Mercury sets at 5:30 pm. Jupiter sets at 6:50 pm and Saturn at 6:44 all in the southwest. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Image of the Week: Great conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn as seen from the space center in the UK

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: May the bridges we burned in 2020 light our way in 2021. --Submitted by #RHOZ

This Week: Saturday, January 2 - Happy Mew Year for Cats Day & National Science Fiction Day

Night Sky, 1/2: Earth is at Perihelion. This is the day when Earth is closest to the sun.

Sunday, January 3 – Festival of Sleep Day & J.R.R. Tolkien Day

Night Sky, 1/3: Quadrantids Meteor Shower peaks tonight. 60-100 / hour Best viewed in the Northern Hemisphere during the night and predawn hours.

Monday, January 4 – Blue Monday & Dimpled Chad Day & Pop Music Chart Day

Tuesday, January 5 – Bird Day & Monopoly Game Day & Twelfth Night

Wednesday, January 6 – Armenian Christmas & Epiphany aka Three Kings Day

Night Sky, : The moon becomes new at 11 pm CST.

Thursday, January 7 – Old Rock Day & Orthodox Christmas & National Bobble-head Day

Resolutions for 2021: Do enough yoga to justify buying $85 yoga pants. / Sorry your candidate(s) lost, but it's time to take the political signs out of the front yard.

My dog ate my New Year's Resolutions. Good boy.

..........Another chance to turn it around..........A Great Big World …..This Is The New Year

^^ The Sugar Bowl will be played in the Mercedes-Benz Superdome in New Orleans on January 1^st at 7 pm (CST).

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: 2020: Like looking both ways before crossing the street and then getting hit by a submarine.

Moonbeam: In photography there is a reality so subtle that it becomes more real than reality. -- Alfred Stieglitz

Classic Late Night Snacks of the Week: David Letterman: Top Ten Things the Founding Fathers Would Say If They Were Alive Today: 10) Remember that electoral college thing we made up when we were drunk? They're still using it! 9) Maybe that ruthless monarchy thing in England wasn't such a bad idea after all... 8) Good to see Florida is still using the same old voting machines 7) That's odd -- in my day, we also had a senator named Strom Thurmond 6) Oh, that's the Washington Monument? Yeah, in his dreams 5) Guliani has really wrecked Times Square 4) We risk our lives to form this great nation and you wanna let George W. Bush run it? 3) Back in our time there certainly wasn't anyone as man-tastic as Ricky Martin 2) He did what in the Oval Office? 1) Screw this, we're going to Canada January 2, 2010

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie and the psychedelic spider

Classic Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: The first presidential debate of 2020 ended up being one of those epical historic moments. Years from now, people will ask, do you remember where you were when man first walked on Chris Wallace? --Peter Sagal Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me 10/10/20

The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice. --Dr Martin Luther King, Jr

Resolutions for 2021: Come to terms with the fact that Opie is on the cover of AARP Magazine./ Eat an actual vegetable

New year is the glittering light to brighten the dream-lined pathway of future. --Munia Khan

..........We drank a toast to time..........Dan Fogelberg …..Same Old Lang Syne

^^^ The #3 Ohio State Buckeyes will be playing the #2 Clemson Tigers in the Sugar Bowl.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The blue whale's anus can open to 3.5 feet making it the second largest asshole in the world after Mitch McConnell. --ab of kc

Weird Word of the Week: Bummock: ...an old Scots word that describes a large quantity of drink brewed specifically for a special occasion, and in particular at Christmas. In the 18th century a bummack, or bummock, was also the name of a party held for tenants by their landlords at Christmas. 15 Forgotten Christmas Words to Make Your Holiday Merry | Listen & Learn AUS Blog (listenandlearnaustralia.com.au)

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Prevent silver from tarnishing. Apply a thin coat of Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing with a soft cloth to clean, polish, dry silver candlesticks, picture frames, silver sets, and other decorative items. Wipe off excess leaving behind a very thin, virtually invisible, protective coating. Alberto VO5®: Wacky Uses

Puzzle of the Week: This puzzle came from Steve Bagish of Arlington, MA. Using only the letter in the phrase RIDE ON, repeating as often as necessary, find the one word name of a famous fictional animal and the kind of animal it is. NPR Sunday Puzzle, 12/10/20 Sunday Puzzle : NPR

Resolutions for 2021: Eat more tacos. / Take a shower.

Sometimes a year has been so disastrous and so terrible that entering a new year will automatically mean entering a wonderful year! --Mehmet Murat Ildan

...........The wind blows memories through my hall..........Gordon Jenkins …..Happy New Year

^^^^ There will be 37 bowl games this year. Down from 46 last year. Click here for a list.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Nobody claim 2021 as “your year”. We're all going to walk in real slow. Be good. Be quiet. Don't! Touch! Anything! --Submitted by #RHOZ

Science Fiction Joke of the Week: The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be. --Douglas Adams

Actual Science Joke of the Week: A dung beetle walks into a bar and says, “Excuse me, is this stool taken?”

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Donner or Donder - reindeer

Resolutions for 2021: Find more reason to use the word “verisimilitude”. / Put on actual clothes for Zoom meetings.

For last year's words belong to last year's language and next year's words await another voice. --T S Eliot

..........Kissing the new year in..........Bing Crosby …..Let's Start the New Year Right

^^^^^ On January 11, 2021 the winner of the Rose Bowl will play the winner of the Sugar Bowl in Hard Rock Stadium, Miami Gardens at 7 pm (CST)

Month of the Week: January is National Skating Month --I tried to get into ice skating but I kept getting cold feet. / What was the best part of the Pyeongchang Olympic figure skating? The Koreagraphy

Recreating Famous Painting With Anything You Can Find of the Week:

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you can't handle me while I'm broke, then you don't deserve me when I have $600. --Submitted by INRITH

Today's Peace of History, January 1, 1847: Michigan became the first state – the first government in the English-speaking world – to abolish capital punishment (for all crimes except treason). This was done by a vote of the legislature, and was not a part of the state’s constitution until 1964.

Resolutions for 2021: Stop daring people to lick frozen flagpoles. / Refuse to acknowledge the entirety of 2020 during social gatherings. / Glad your candidate(s) won, but it's time to take the political signs out of the front yard.

I think of the new year as a clean slate – to slowly drag my fingernails across.

..........I, I will begin again.........U2 …..New Year's Day

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, January 1, 2021, Happy New ePistle. Reconciliation, Ribbing, and Resolutions Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: Writing comes more easily if you have something to say. --Shalom Asch

Cost of War:

As of 12/13/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,092,124,706,951.

As of 12/24/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,090,155,954,004.

As of 12/31/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,010,754,726,755.

As of 12/24/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,009,416,716,653.

As of 12/31/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $820,319,915,708.

As of 12/24/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $818,638,247,414.

As of 12/31/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $342,072,689,221.

As of 12/24/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $341,690,529,613.

As of 12/31/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,265,272,897,238.

As of 12/24/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,259,902,379,704.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

You get world peace. You get world peace. We all get world peace. --Unknown

..........Could this be the one.........Tori Amos …..Our New Year

I just need to check facebook to see if anybody liked my status about my resolution to spend less time on facebook.

Resolutions for 2021: Visit somebody, anybody. / Go viral on TikTok.

Famous Last Words: A hundred miles down the road. --John Dos Passos 49^th Parallel

May Peace permeate your life

And Joy infuse your year

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

ePistle nOel

 

Famous First Words: Do not be afraid. --Angels

Merry Christmas – English                         Mele Kalikimaka - Hawaiian

One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, “It’s going to rain.” His wife asked, “How do you know?” “Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.” / Dear Santa, When you arrive on Christmas Eve could you please throw a quick load in the washer, vacuum the living room, and wash your cookie dishes. Thank you

..........Hope everybody's dancing to their own drum this fine morning............Jethro Tull …..Another Christmas Song

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. --Isaiah 9:6

It is a near frigid (11°F) Christmas morning, but merry and bright nonetheless. The sun is shining, the sky is blue, and the wind has slowed; that's about all one can ask on a December day in Kansas. The sky is clear and blue, the ground is brown and leaf covered, and my heart too is merry and bright. I am sipping Holiday Cheer decaf – appropriately creamed and sweetened. It does not taste of pumpkin spice which is another Christmas gift. There is no birdsong. There is no movement – Bruno is inside, squirrels are still abed, and birds are not in sight. So...I light a pine scented incense and play Another Christmas Song one more time. Merry whatever you celebrate!!!

Hope you have the merriest Christmas yet, ePistliers

Deck the halls with Boston Charlie: "Deck Us All With Boston Charlie " - Walt Kelly - YouTube

Christmas Quote of the Week: ...Christmas: ...a baby so stoned even the cows knew it. --Stephen Gaskin

Neatest Thing I Read of the Week: Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day. --Henri J. M. Nouwen

Geseënde Kersfees – Afrikaans                            Vesele Vianoce – Slovakian

I used to know a guy who absolutely loved hollandaise sauce. He would buy the spiciest brand he could find and would put it on just about everything. Well it turned out that because he used the spicy sauce so much, it started to wear down a hole on the roof of his mouth. He went to a doctor and asked what he could do about it. The doctor looked at the damage and determined that the man needed a metal plate at the roof of his mouth. The man was relieved but asked the doctor if he would still be able to enjoy hollandaise sauce. The doctor reassured him that his new plate would be made of chrome. So, don't worry, there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise." / Relax, don't get your tinsel in a tangle.

..........Oh, children of the forest free...........Heather Dale …..The Huron Carol ~~Sung in Wendat (Huron, French, & English)

Trivia Questions: Other things have happened on Christmas Day. How much do you know about them?

^ What happened to Charlemagne on Christmas day in the year 800?

^^ What was George Washington doing on Christmas day in 1776?

^^^ Which of his ships did Columbus lose on Christmas day in 1492?

^^^^ What did President Andrew Johnson do on Christmas day in 1868 to heal Civil War wounds?

^^^^^ Care to guess which year Richard Starkey aka Ringo Starr received his first drum set?

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My husband asked me just now why there are gingerbread men and not gingerbread women. I told him it's the pastryarchy. --Submitted by cj of ks

Max Picture of the Week: Max, his candy cane, a firetruck and its Santa

Christmas in Jail by Leroy Carr: Christmas In Jail (Ain’t That a Pain) - Leroy Carr - YouTube

Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 90% of libraries don't have an elf on the shelf because the staff are already experts in giving silent, judging stares. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Feliz Navidad - Spanish                                     Sungtan Chukha - Korean

Overheard among shepherds: Ever since that star appeared I've had the urge to go shopping. / A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. --Garrison Keillor

..........I gave you my heart..........The Beatles …..Christmas Time Is Here Again

Moonbeam: A new commandment I give to you, love one another. --Jesus

Naturally Occurring Mandala of the Week: Poinsettia

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: They say that for Christmas we can meet up to 8 people without any problems. But I don't know 8 people without any problems... --Submitted by cmr of ks

Santa Claus and his Old Lady by Cheech & Chong: Santa Claus And His Old Lady - YouTube

Week of the Week: It's About Time Week (25-31) –Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond / Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = knotfurlong

Boldog Karácsonyt -Hungarian              Nizhónígo Késhmish Da'doohteet - Navajo

Cat Christmas Carols: O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree, your ornaments are history ... Wreck the tree and blame the doggies, Fa la la la la la la la la ... 4 calling birds, 3 french hens, 2 turtle doves and would it be possible to get the partridge without the pear tree? / I was dreaming of a white Christmas but if you're out of white, I'll drink the red.

..........And the stars in the elements will tremble with glee...........Joan Baez …..The Cherry Tree Carol

^ On Christmas Day 800 AD, Pope Leo III crowned Charlemagne “emperor of the Romans” during a ceremony at St. Peter’s Basilica.

All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth with Spike Jones: Spike Jones & His City Slickers - All I Want For Christmas (Is My Two Front Teeth) 1948 - YouTube

Almanac: It is December 25, 2020. The moon will be full (Cold) on Tuesday and is in Taurus. Besides being Christmas Day it is A'Phabet Day aka No "L" Day and Christmas Pudding Day. Until 1068 England celebrated New Year's on this day. In Taiwan it is Constitution Day (1946).

Among those born on this day were Jesus (B.C.E. 4), Orlando Gibbons (1583), Angelus Silesius (1624), Isaac Newton (1642), Jacobus Houbraken (1698), Jean-Joseph Cassenea de Mondonville (1711), Claud Chappe (1763), Joseph Mazzinghi (1765), Jan de Liefde II (1814), Clara Barton (1821), Esteban Salas y Castro (1825), Fernandez Arbos (1863), W. Starling Burgess (1878), Maurice Utrillo (1883), Conrad Hilton (1887), Robert L. Ripley (1893), Humphrey Bogart (1899), Gerhard Herzberg (1904), Clark Clifford (1906), Cab Calloway (1907), Henry Charnock (1920), Billy Horton (1929), Carlos Castaneda (1931), Gary Sandy (1945), Jimmy Buffett (1946), Sissy Spacek (1949), and Amy Grant (1960).

On December twenty-fifth Christmas began to be celebrated consistently on December 25th (352), England adopted the Julian calendar (597), William the Conqueror became king of England (1066), St. Francis of Assisi assembled the first Nativity scene (1223), The Santa Maria docked in the Dominican Republic (1492), Plymouth Colony outlawed playing games on Christmas Day (1621), Massachusetts Colony outlawed any observance of Christmas (1651), the Centigrade temperature scale was introduced (1741), Halley's comet was sighted (1758), Washington crossed the Delaware (1776), Handel's Messiah was first performed in the US (1818), Berlioz's Symphony Fantastic premiered (1830), the New Haven Railroad opened (1848), Hirohito became emperor of Japan (1926), Dick Tracy married Tess Truehart (1950), and Gorbachev resigned as president of USSR (1991).

Night Sky,12/25: As Jupiter and Saturn move apart, they're sinking quite low in the southwest in twilight http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The easiest way to tell that Star Trek was written by white people is they say “where no one has gone before” but like 90% of the planets they go to are inhabited. --Submitted ab ab of kc

This Week: Saturday, December 26 – Boxing Day & First Day of Kwanzaa & National Thank You Note Day

Sunday, December 27 – Free Balloon Day & Howdy Doody Day & Visit The Zoo Day

Night Sky, 12/27: The waxing gibbous Moon shines roughly between Aldebaran and the Pleiades. Off to their left sparkles bright Capella.

Monday, December 28 – National Chocolate Day & Pledge of Allegiance Day & Short Film Day

Tuesday, December 29 – Tick Tock Day & WMCA Day

Wednesday, December 30 – Bacon Day & Falling Needles Family Fest Day

Night Sky, 12/30: Uranus (in Aries) is high in the south-southeast after dark, about 13° east (left) of Mars. Uranus is only 3.7 arcseconds wide, but that's enough to appear as a tiny fuzzy ball, not a point, at high power in even a smallish telescope with sharp optics — during spells of good seeing.

Thursday, December 31 – Hogmanay & First Nights & National Champagne Day & World Peace Meditation Day

Noheli Nziza -Rwandan                                       Jwaye Nwel -Haitian

Dog Christmas Carols: O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree, I do love indoor plumbing ... tennis balls, tennis ball, throw them far away ... 4 falling birds, 3 dead squirrels, 2 chew toys, and a long pee on a short tree. / Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help. --Andy Borowitz

..........Who comes around on a special night............Bob Dylan …..Must Be Santa

^^ On Christmas Day General George Washington led 2,400 troops on a daring nighttime crossing of the icy Delaware River. Stealing into New Jersey, the Continental forces launched a surprise attack on Trenton on December 26.

Nuttin for Christmas by Barry Gordon: Nuttin For Christmas ~ Barry Gordon - YouTube

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. --Erma Bombeck

Moonbeam: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you. --Jesus

Classic Late Night Snacks of the Week: David Letterman 10 Ten Elf Complaints 10) Bells on clothing target for jeers at truck stops 9) Need 2 pieces of ID to buy beer 8) Santa''s union-busting goons killed a guy last spring 7) Black elves control the weight room 6) R&R weekends in Aleutians spoiled by trigger-happy shore patrol 5) Incredible markup at North Pole 7-11 4) Workman's compensation doesn't cover “mistletoe-lung” 3) The Colonel practically runs my life (Sorry,k that's an Elvis complaint) 2) Dead elves just tossed out on the tundra 1) Santa only invites his favorites to join him in the Jacuzzi 12/18/2010

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie and his muscle car wheels

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: The coronavirus vaccines were finally delivered this week, with news channels showing live shots of planes carrying it, landing at airports, UPS trucks waiting to, you know, carry it away. We all remember where we were when the first crates of vaccines were delivered. We were at home, where we have been for nine months. --Peter Sagal You know what? I was really reticent about getting it. But then I saw online they gave it to Ian McKellen, Sir Ian McKellen. And if it's good enough for Gandalf, all right. --Helen Hong Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me 12/19/20

For God is not a God of confusion but of peace. --I Corinthians 14:33

Maligayang Pasko -Filipino                        Feliz Natal -Portuguese

The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband. --Joan Rivers / Darth Santa: I find your lack of holiday spirit disturbing.

..........Tell him he can take the freeway down..........Chuck Berry …Run Rudolph Run.

^^^ Christopher Columbus' flagship, Santa Maria, ran aground and sank on the north coast of Hispaniola. The crew were left to found a colony there.

Leroy the Redneck Reindeer by Joe Diffie: Joe Diffie - Leroy The Redneck Reindeer (Official Video) - YouTube

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A Christmas Carol is the heartwarming tales of how rich people must be supernaturally terrorized into sharing. --Submitted by sw of ks

Weird Word of the Week: Boun – to boun something is to decorate it with evergreen branches during the Christmas period. 15 Forgotten Christmas Words to Make Your Holiday Merry | Listen & Learn AUS Blog (listenandlearnaustralia.com.au)

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean a shower head. If a shower head can not be removed for cleaning, fill a Ziploc Storage Bag with Heinz White Vinegar, wrap it around the shower head, and secure in place overnight with a rubber band. Ziploc® Storage Bags: Wacky Uses

Puzzle of the Week: This challenge came from listener Jared Harvey, of Santa Cruz, Calif. Think of a common word in six letters. Write it in lowercase. If you hold up a mirror at its side, the reflection will show the same word. What is it? Sunday Puzzle, 12/13/20 Answer below

Sikukuu ya Merry – Swahili                  vrolijk kerstfeest  -Dutch

Christmas is just like a day in the office? You do all the work and the fat guy in a suit takes all the credit. / I slept under the Christmas tree last night so my family would realize what a gift I am.

...........What a bright time.........Brenda Lee …..Jingle Bell Rock

^^^^ By way of Proclamation 179, on December 25, 1868, Johnson issued amnesty to “all and every person” who had fought against the United States during the Civil War.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved. --Submitted by #RHOZ

Science Fiction Joke of the Week: Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. --Douglas Adams

I Want a Hoppopotamus for Christmas by Gayla Peevey: 11 Best Funny Christmas Songs - Funniest Holiday Songs (harpersbazaar.com)

Actual Science Joke of the Week: I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Tidbit

krisamas kee badhaee – Hindi                    Mbotama Malamu -Lingala

It's beginning to cost a lot like Christmas. / I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph. --Shirley Temple

..........Decorations of red on a green Christmas tree...........Elvis Presley …..Blue Christmas

^^^^^ Ringo got his first drums for Christmas in 1957 when he was 17 years old.

At the Christmas Ball by Bessie Smith: 34 Alternative Christmas Songs - Best Weird Christmas Carols for the Holidays (elle.com)

Recreating Famous Painting With Anything You Can Find of the Week:

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I've had my patience tested. I'm negative. --Submitted by INRITH

Today's Peace of History, December 25, 1946: The first Christmas demonstration at the White House was held by those seeking amnesty for conscientious objectors convicted of refusing to fight in World War II.

Eedookh Breekha-Aramaic                       Kala Christouyenna – Greek

I bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying Toys Not Included. --Bernard Manning / You can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. --Maya Angelou

Space Christmas by Allo Darlin' --Space Christmas (Demo Version) - YouTube

..........Good morrow, masters all.........King's College Choir …..Past Three A Clock

Masthead of the Week: Friday, December 25, 2020, ePistle Noel. Harmony, Humor, and Hallelujahs. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: Love your neighbor as yourself --Jesus

Cost of War:

As of 12/24/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,090,155,954,004.

As of 12/17/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,088,171,284,758.

As of 12/24/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,009,416,716,653.

As of 12/17/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,008,067,731,974.

As of 12/24/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $818,638,247,414.

As of 12/17/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $816,942,364,786.

As of 12/24/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $341,690,529,613.

As of 12/17/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $341,305,041,446.

As of 12/24/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,259,902,379,704.

As of 12/17/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,254,486,024,819.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives, do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. John 14:27

Sentimental Thought of the Week: Today is next year's Christmas Memory. Make it one that you will always cherish and be sure to enjoy every single moment.

Stuck in the Smoke Hole in Our Tipi by Shoshoni Elder Oldhands: Stuck in the Smoke Hole of our Tipi. - YouTube --Submitted by llr of ks

Famous Last Words: ...and a partridge in a pear tree.

..........forever and ever.........Royal Choral Society …..Hallelujah Chorus

krismas mubarak – Urdu              QISmaS Quch Daghajjaj - Klingon

Remember, Christmas is the only time of the year you can sit in your own house in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of a sock. / I told Santa I had been very good this year. I didn't tell him it was just a lack of opportunity.

May Peace fill the earth

And Joy fill every heart

prairie mama

christine

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