cHummy ePistle

 Famous First Words: It's the window of experience... --Richie Havens From The Prison ~~The song that opened Woodstock (8/15/69)

English: Mind your own beeswax.

It's Best Friends Day! I want to thank you in advance for being the friend that laughs during the eulogy at my funeral because you know the real story. ++ I was an innocent being...then my best friend came along.

The love that flows through your heart purifies not only your own spirit, but the love you share with others. --Caroline Myss

..........You live in the same world I do.........Melanie …..Beautiful People (Woodstock, 8/15/69)

The imaginative child will become the imaginative man or woman most apt to create, to invent, and therefore to foster civilization. --L Frank Baum

It is a bright, still Friday morning. The house painters are here early to get as much done as possible before it gets too hot to do anything. The walls themselves are a fresh charcoal gray and the trim and doors are yet to be done. Actually the trim on the front is done (not the door) and it looks great. Now the sides and the back are being painted. Doors have to be open when they paint parts of them – another reason to do it early. At least the plastic is off the windows so that I can see the actual outside. The cat freaked out when there was plastic on the windows and she wouldn't even go near them. She sat 6 feet or so back and stared. The whole world had melted into white goo. Hopefully, I'll have a picture for next week's Image of the Week. But my phone has stopped taking pictures so maybe not. I'm sipping my decaf while Puck is asleep under my desk – some things change, others don't.

Hope your weekend is filled with the laughter of friends, Chum.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I want to see an episode of “Undercover Boss” with Jesus in one of these white nationalist churches.

Brazil: Each monkey on its own branch.

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move a body. ++ A good friend is like a margarita...a little sweet, a little salty, and can knock you on your butt when you need it.

And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make. --The Beatles

..........Bringin' in a couple of keys.........Arlo Guthrie …..Coming Into Los Angeles (Woodstock, 8/15/69)

Trivia Questions: Today is Chauvin Day.

1. Who was Nicholas Chauvin anyway?

2. What has “chauvinism” come to mean today?

3. When or how did the term “male chauvinism” appear in our culture?

4. What is the difference between chauvinism and jingoism?

5. What ever happened to Nicholas Chauvin?

Big Hello: Dobry dźień – Sorbian, Lower (endangered indigenous language of Germany.) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: One good thing about this heat is you can be sure no one is waiting in the backseat of your parked car to kill you.

Image of the Week: When we were cleaning out Jeff's apartment we came across this quilt. It was pieced by my mother for Jeff's son, BJ. Mama called it 1,000 Pyramids even though none of her quilts got anywhere near 1,000. It goes to my next great grandchild.

Jeff's Official Obituary: Lawrence Times: https://lawrencekstimes.com/2025/08/13/obituary-jeffrey-skye-miller/

Insult of the Week: You've got about as much charm as a dead slug. --Suzanne Collins The Hunger Games

Korea: Do your own work.

Friends are like boobs. You've got big ones, small one, and fake ones. ++ A friend calls you in jail. A great friend bails you out of jail. Your best friend sits next to you and says, “wow, that was fun”.

There is only one desire: to find the promised land and the freedom of a pure love that is without concern for anything else but love. --Thomas Merton

..........Give me an “F”.........Country Joe and the Fish …..The Fish Cheer (Woodstock, 8/16/69)

Moonbeam: History is a set of lies agreed upon. --Napoleon Bonaparte

Blasphemy of the Week: A child with an imaginary friend is normal. An adult with an imaginary friend is strange. A group of people with an imaginary friend is a religion.

Coffee Joke of the Week: My divorce was just like Starbucks coffee – expensive and bitter.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: This Antifa at work bragged that she could print a gun with her new 3D printer. I wasn't impressed, I've had a Canon printer for years.

Australia: Think about your own life instead.

Friends are like condoms; they protect you when things get hard. ++ It is an awesome moment when you're telling a lie, and your best friend notices and joins in.

..........A love supreme.........Santana …..Soul Sacrifice (Woodstock, 8/16/69)

1) The idea of chauvinism comes from a French soldier named Nicolas Chauvin. He was badly hurt fighting in the Napoleonic Wars. Even after Napoleon lost power, Chauvin still strongly believed in Napoleon and that France had a special mission. His strong loyalty, even when his ideas were unpopular, led to the word "chauvinism."

Almanac: It is Friday,August 15, 2025. The moon enters its last quarter tomorrow (8/16) and is in Taurus. Today is Best Friends Day, Chauvin Day, Check the Chip Day, Green Data Day, National Relaxation Day, and National Leathercraft Day. Because it is the third Friday of August it is also Kool-Aid Day, Men's Grooming Day, National Day of Action Against Bullying and Violence, and National Relaxation Day.

Among those born on this day were Napoleon Bonaparte (1769), Walter Scott (1771), James Douglas (1803), Samuel Coleridge-Taylor (1875), Ethel Barrymore (1879), Edna Ferber (1887), T.E. Lawrence (1888), Bill Baird (1904), Julia Child (1912), Rose Maris (1923), Phyllis Schlafly (1924), and Princess Anne (1950).

On August fifteenth Macbeth was slain (1057), Panama City was founded (1519), the National Black Convention met (1843), the Panama Canal opened (1914), the Wizard of Oz premiered (1939), Radio Free London began transmitting (1968), Nixon declared a 90-Day freeze on wages, prices & rents (1971), Woodstock opened (1969), Bahrain gained independence (1971), and 750,000 attended the free Paul Simon concert in Central Park (1991).

Night Sky, 8/15: The Moon rises around 11 or midnight daylight-saving time, with the Pleiades following it up about 20 minutes behind. As the Moon gets higher, look for the Pleiades about 6° to its lower left. By the beginning of dawn the Moon and Pleiades are very high in the southeast, now level with each other and only about 3° or 4° apart. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Cherry Picking

This Week: Saturday, August 16 – Chef Appreciation Day & National Honey Bee Day & National Rollercoaster Day

Sunday, August 17 – Black Cat Appreciation Day & National Nonprofit Day & National Thrift Shop Day

Night Sky, 8/17: Whenever Vega crosses near your zenith, soon after dark now, you know that the Sagittarius Teapot is at its highest due south. Two hours later, when Deneb passes the zenith, it's the turn of little Delphinus and boat-shaped Capricornus down below it to stand at their highest due south.

Monday, August 18 – Bad Poetry Day & National Serendipity Day

Tuesday, August 19 – Aviation Day & International Orangutan Day & World Photography Day

Night Sky, 8/19: The moon is in conjunction with Jupiter on the 19^th, Venus on the 20^th, and Mercury on the 21^st.

Wednesday, August 20 - National Radio Day & World Mosquito Day

Thursday, August 21 – Poet's Day & Senior Citizens Day ...and for that one ePistlier in Brazil World Daffodil Day for the Southern Hemisphere

Egypt: Stay in your state.

Good friends don't let you do stupid things....alone. ++ We will be best friends forever because you already know too much.

The honorary duty of a human being is to love. --Maya Angelou

..........I like the way you talk.........Creedence Clearwater Revival …..Suzy Q (Woodstock, 8/16/69)

2) Chauvinism grew to mean being overly devoted to any group or cause. It's especially used when this devotion includes being unfair or hostile to outsiders.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Only a couple more weeks until I let a football team determine my mood for the next five months. --Submitted by INRITH

Moonbeam: Unless a tree has borne blossoms in spring, you will vainly look for fruit on it in autumn. --Walter Scott

Fun Facts of the Week: The Kool-Aid Man, famous for breaking through walls and his catchphrase "Oh yeah!," was created in 1974 as a successor to the earlier "Pitcher Man" mascot. The character's powerful, wall-smashing entrances symbolized his unstoppable enthusiasm for delivering the sweet drink. The Kool-Aid Man's origin story is tied to Edwin Perkins, who invented the drink mix in his mother's kitchen in Hastings, Nebraska, beginning the journey for the iconic mascot.

Video of the Week: It Ain't Gonna Go Away – An Ode to the Epstein Files https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8AGEjj2Jds

The more one knows, the luckier they are, for knowledge is the greatest gift in life. --L Frank Baum

It is possible to give without loving, but it is impossible to love without giving. --Victor Hugo

I was told that the friendship between sodium, potassium, and oxygen was bad. I said, “Na, Pretty sure it is OK.” ++ Nothing beats friendship except a friend-iceberg.

Spain: Don't go where you're not called.

..........I hope to die before I get old.........The Who …..My Generation (Woodstock, 8/17/69)

3) Male chauvinism is the belief that men are better than women. The phrase "male chauvinism" was first written down in a play in 1935. During World War II, many men went to fight, so women took their jobs in factories and offices. When the war ended, men came back and found women in jobs they used to have. This made some men feel like their important role in society was threatened. Because of this, male chauvinism seemed to increase.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Crypto Coin: Someone trying to sell you their imaginary friend. --Submitted by SDS

Weird Word of the Week: Batrachomvomachies – a petty quarrel https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/batrachomyomachy

Dragon of the Week: House Dragon

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Disinfect garbage cans. Wash the garbage cans with a solution made from ¾ cup Clorox bleach to one gallon water. Let it stand for five minutes, then rinse clean. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/clorox.html

Fake Word of the Week: TheoFascOligKakracy – Fascism – ruled by a dictator + Oligarchy – Ruled by a wealthy few + Theocracy – ruled by religion + Kakistocracy – ruled by the least qualified. Theofascoligkakracy --Submitted by LaughingInDisbelief

It is love alone that gives worth to all things. --St Teresa of Avila

I love my pet rock. Our friendship is solid. ++ I had an imaginary friend, but she was never my best friend because she made fun of me. She would mock me saying, “At least I have a real friend”.

Germany: Take care of your own dirt.

...........Your mind, your mind is so full of red.........The Jefferson Airplane …..Somebody To Love (Woodstock, 8/17/69)

4) Chauvinism: Blind and absurd devotion to a fallen leader or an obsolete cause; hence, absurdly vainglorious or exaggerated patriotism. Jingoism: Excessive patriotism or aggressive nationalism especially with regards to foreign policy.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I feel sorry for ghosts right now. How are they supposed to be scarier than real life? --Jonathan Edward Durham

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Seattle WorldCon 2025 (13-17, Seattle, WA) Building Yesterday's Future for Everyone. https://seattlein2025.org/

Anarchist Quote of the Week: Before a revolution happens, it is perceived as impossible; after it happens, it is seen as having been inevitable. --Rosa Luxemburg

Spark of Joy of the Week: I want to resemble a sort of liquid light which stretches beyond visibility or invisibility. Tonight I wish to have the valor and daring to belong to the moon. –Virginia Woolf

Charity, a word that comprises love and justice, may well be the most sublime of all Christian virtues. --Diana Butler Bass

I'm going to change my Facebook name to Benefits. Then when someone adds me on Facebook it will say: You are friends with Benefits. ++ You know you're getting old when “Friends with benefits” means having a friend who can drive after dark.

Italy: Do your own cabbages.

..........But I'm gonna show you, baby, that a woman can be tough.........Janis Joplin …..Piece Of My Heart

5) Nicholas, the French soldier, was legendary and likely also fictional. All the information that exists about him is how loyal he was to Napoleon.

Protest Sign of the Week: Let Them Eat Teslas!

Quote of the Week: This week 50 some Democrats left Texas and not for the usual reasons. --Tom Papa Wait Wait Don't Tell Me (8/9/25)

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I tried to organize my thoughts but they unionized and demanded breaks. --Submitted by 42 Collective

Today's Peace of History: August 15, 1970: Patricia Palinkas becomes 1st woman pro football player. After her brief stint in professional football, Palinkas returned to her home in Tampa, Florida to start a family and continue her career as a first grade teacher.

Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction. --Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I was never good with people. Even my imaginary friend played with the kid across the street. ++ My best friend became a vegetarian. She really changed; it was like I'd never seen herbivore.

Russia: You're not being ask

..........Yet, ev'ry distance is not near.........The Band …..I Shall Be Released (Woodstock, 9/17/69)

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, August 15, 2025: cHummy ePistle . Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Living the past is a dull and lonely business; looking back strains the neck muscles, causing you to bump into people not going your way. --Edna Ferber

Cost of War:

As of 08/14/25 State Department Costs: $272,310,664,593

As of 08/07/25 State Department Costs:$271,745,256,943

As of 08/14/25 Homeland Security: $1,207,492,651,789

As of 08/07/25 Homeland Security: $1,206,879,594,697

As of 08/14/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,319,695,510,318

As of 08/07/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,318,119,108,835

As of 08/14/25 Military Costs: $3,161,676,284,334

As of 08/07/25 Military Costs: $3,160,479,396,502

As of 08/14/25 Veterans Care: $4,428,891,247,938

As of 08/07/25 Veterans Care: $4,416,942,753,377

As of 08/14/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,390,068,494,953

As of 08/07/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,374,168,989,476

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Never give up. No one knows what's going to happen next. --L Frank Baum

Famous Last Words: Oh, what a world, what a world. --Wicked Witch in Wizard of Oz – the movie

..........Hey, Hey, Joe, run on down.........Jimi Hendrix …..Hey Joe (The final song of Woodstock, 8/17/69)

True love is a process. True love requires personal action. Love must be continuing to be real. --Marvin J Ashton

I know, it is so hard to find a friend who's loyal, caring, honest, and cute. Lucky for you, I came along. ++ I hope we're friends until we die. Then I hope we stay ghost friends and walk through walls and scare the shit out of people.

France: Take care of your onions.

May Peace be your friend

And Joy your companion

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

sPhinxy ePistle

Famous First Words: We the people of the United Nations... UN Charter

Happy International Cat Day!! Catrina Cat was unable to write a second novel. Cats have 9 lives but only one tale. The novel was, rather mundanely, called The Purrfect Murder and was about a sexy young tom in claw enforcement.

Original Song: Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty, Little ball of fur. Happy Kitty, Sleepy Kitty, Purr, purr, purr

Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care. --Theodore Roosevelt

..........You've got me living in a haunted dream..........Mel Tillis …..I Ain't Never

United Nations: Peace, dignity and equality on a healthy planet. --UN Charter

It is a warm (81°F) Friday morning. The morning is shining right through the few puffy clouds which are making no effort to shield us from the summer sun. A 7mph wind is thrashing the tree limbs and blowing peanut shells off the roof of the shed. The icing on this hot cake of a morning is that the humidity is 70%. Summer at its summery best. Inside it is cool. Puck is asleep on his pillow. Veronica just returned from the catnip garden and has disappeared into the house somewhere. I've turned on my music subscription (Slow Boat To China, Kay Kyser) which I am playing low as sound track. I am sipping a doctored cup of actual coffee. Here's to Jeff, he left coffee here to make for himself. And because I'm in a kind of “hippie” place+++, sandalwood incense. Nice morning.

+++ These are extreme times and call for extreme love and peace.

Hope your weekend purrs, cataphiles

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's August already. I'm still mentally in June with a to-do list from March.

Purrfessor Plum taught zoology at FSU (Feline State University). Beside his main job he also had mouse watching at the big computer. The Purrfessor was known for telling bad dog jokes** in class just for the apaws. **For an example of a bad dog joke see The Last Laugh below.

Happy Dalek Day! Hard Dalek, Cold Dalek, little can of hate. Angry Dalek, Evil Dalek, Ex-ter-min-ate

It is through weakness and vulnerability that most of us learn empathy and compassion and discover our soul --Desmond Tutu

..........How's about cookin' something up with me.........Connie Stevens …..Hey, Good Lookin'

Trivia Questions:

1. Do you know where, or when, or how Pickleball got started?

2. Where did the name Pickleball come from?

3. What makes an official Pickleball ball so annoying?

4. How popular was Pickleball in the US during 2024?

5. How is Pickleball doing on the global stage?

Big Hello: Salaam alaykum – Somali https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Humans invented clocks so they could be late with mathematical precision. --Submitted by 42 Collective

Image of the Week: Puck who is, I suspect, the butt of many of Veronica's dog jokes.

Insult of the Week: You flea bitten fungus. --Roald Dahl Matilda

Story Problem: If you gave me 2 cats and another 2 cats and then another 2 cats, how many cats would I have. 7. 2+2+2 is 6 … plus the cat I already own. ɖɖ Single ladies facing age 50, realizing that so many of you have so many cats, should give you paws.

Soft puppy, bouncy puppy, little ball of yap. Quiet puppy, sleepy puppy, nap, nap, nap.

Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity. -Pema Chodron

..........Every hour through the day..........Webb Pierce …..Wondering

Moonbeam: I shall have peace, as leafy trees are peaceful. --Sara Teasdale

Blasphemy of the Week: I have always regarded it as part of my mission in life to follow around after Billy Graham and undo some of the work he has done. --Tom Lehrer ~~You will be missed, Tom.

Coffee Joke of the Week: If you stir your coffee counterclockwise while muttering your to-do list, it counts as witchcraft AND time management. https://www.facebook.com/maythecoffeebewithyou

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The odds of something going right are inversely proportional to how much you bragged about it beforehand. --Submitted by 42 Collective

Library and house cats have several things in common...independence, self sufficiency. And both are really dependent on a system they can neither appreciate nor understand. ɖɖ I've heard people say the movie Cats is bad. But when it was playing on my flight home there were only 2 walkouts.

Bored Sherlock, Ecstatic Sherlock, little ball of ghee. Frustrated Sherlock, Thoughtful Sherlock, Just tea for me.

Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. --Albert Einstein

..........Ghosts of the future, ghosts of the past.........Edge and U2 …..Snake Charmer

1) Although the origins of some sports are debated, pickleball’s origin is clear: in 1965, three friends (Congressman Joel Pritchard, Bill Bell, and Barney McCallum) were spending the summer on Bainbridge Island, Washington. In the backyard, there was a badminton court, but they had no shuttlecocks or rackets. So, to entertain their families, they improvised using table tennis paddles and a perforated plastic ball.

Almanac: It is Friday, August 8^th, 2025. The moon will be full (Corn or Sturgeon Moon) tomorrow (8/9) and is in Aquarius. Today is Dalek Day, Digital Nomad Day, Date to Create, Happiness Happens Day, International Cat Day, International Female Orgasm Day, International Infinity Day, National CBD Day, National P:ickleball Day, Odie Day, Ugliest Dog Day, Wear Your Mother's Jewelry Day, Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor's Porch Night, and Global Sleep Under The Stars Night.

Among those born on this day were Charles Bulfinch (1763), Emiliano Zapata (1879), Sara Teasdale (1884), Marjorie Rawlings (1896), Ernest Lawrence (1901), Arthur Goldberg (1908), Dino DeLaurentis (1919), Webb Pierce (1926), Andy Warhol (1930), Mel Tillis (1932), Dustin Hoffman (1937), Connie Stevens (1938), Svetlana Savitskaya (1948), Keith Carradine (1949), Donny Most (1953), Sweet Lou Dunbar (1953), and the Edge (Dave Evans, 1961).

On August eighth the cornerstone was laid for the Tycho Brahe observatory (1579), the first known hot air balloon ascent (indoor, 1709), Edison patented the mimeograph (1876), the Daughters of the American Revolution was organized (1890), the first Davis Cup matches began (1900), the Salem, Oregon airport was dedicated (1929), Truman signed the UN Charter (1945), the Ivory Coast declared independence (1960), Pioneer-Venus 2 was launched (1978), Carl Lewis won 4 gold medals (1984), Iraq annexed Kuwait (1990), and Shites released British hostage John McCCarthy (1991).

Night Sky, 8/8: Week after week now, distant little Mars stays practically on station at the same height low in the west-northwest in twilight. Its long apparition drags on and on: Mars will continue to set around the end of twilight into early fall (for observers at mid-northern latitudes), and it won't reach conjunction with the Sun until the beginning of 2026. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Sword and Sorcery in the Park

This Week: Saturday, August 9 – Book Lovers Day & National Bowling Day & National Garage Sale Day

Sunday, August 10 – Agent Orange Awareness Day & Bagel Day & Smithsonian Day & World Lion Day

Night Sky, 8/10: This is the time of year when the Big Dipper scoops down in the northwest during evening, as if to pick up the water that it will dump from high overhead in the evenings of next spring. Mercury ends retrograde.

Monday, August 11 – National Sons and Daughters Day & Popsicle Day

Tuesday, August 12 – International Youth Day & World Elephant Day & Home Sewing Machine Day

Night Sky, 8/12: The Perseids meteor shower is active at noticeable levels for many days before and several days after their peak, which this year is predicted for the night of August 12-13. Jupiter/Venus conjunction

Wednesday, August 13 – International Left Handers Day

Night Sky, 8/13: Venus, brilliant at magnitude –4.0, rises above the east-northeast horizon about an hour before the first sign of dawn, followed by Jupiter, the second brightest planet at magnitude –1.9. On Saturday morning August 2nd they rise about 40 minutes apart, but a week later on the 9th Jupiter follows only about 10 minutes behind Venus. During this time their separation shrinks from 9° to 3°.

Thursday, August 14 – National Lizard Day & National Navajo Code Talkers Day & World Calligraphy Day

Castor Cat, my neighbor's tabby, inspired mewtiny in our neighborhood. Now cats make all the omelets because they “have the best whiskers”. ɖɖ Those pictures of creatures on Mars are not cats. There are no cats on Mars. Curiosity killed the cats.

Drunk Michael, Naked Michael, little ball of hunk. Stubble Michael, Tattooed Michael, punk, punk, punk

You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view. --Harper Lee

..........I've got flowers and lots of hours.........Tom Jones …..What's New, Pussycat

2) Many people believe the game was named after the Pritchard family dog, Pickles, who supposedly ran after the ball during the first games. However, Joan Pritchard, Joel’s wife, explained that the name comes from the term “pickle boat”, used in rowing to describe a boat with a mixed crew from different teams. Since pickleball combines elements of tennis, table tennis, and badminton, they thought the name was a perfect fit.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Pepsi and Coca-cola can't even be in the same restaurant...and we want world peace.

Moonbeam: I think having land and not ruining it is the most beautiful art that anybody could ever want to own. --Andy Warhol

Fun Fact of the Week: The World's Ugliest Dog Contest is an annual contest held since the 1970s that takes place at the Sonoma-Marin Fair in Petaluma, California during the fourth week of June. One dog is crowned “The World’s Ugliest Dog” and its owner receives a trophy, a check for $1,600, and a free trip to New York City. Next date: Friday, August 8, 2025 ~~August 8 seems like a strange fourth week in June date

Video of the Week: What If Cats Had Thumbs (:40) A commercial...perhaps for milk.

United Nations: To maintain international peace and security...--UN Charter

Compassion and empathy will make true love persist. --Khalil Gibran

Hot coffee, good coffee, little cup of yum. Doctored coffee, tasty coffee, mmm,mmm,mmm

Carlita Cat is a communist; I'm sure of it. She demands free food and she's always talking about Maow. ɖɖ All dogs may go to heaven; but cats go to purrgatory.

..........We've been waiting for.........Edge and Bono …..We Are The People

3) The official ball is made of plastic and has a diameter between 7 and 7.5 cm and weighs 22 to 26 grams. There are no color restrictions, although most balls are yellow. Because they are perforated, they produce a distinctive sound that some people find annoying: from 30 meters away, the noise from a pickleball court reaches 70 decibels (compared to 40 decibels in tennis), similar to a vacuum cleaner.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I feel like a lot of my problems would be solved if I had a dragon. --Submitted by The Grand Duchy of Medieval Merriement

Weird Word of the Week: Cockalorum – a boastful and self-important person https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cockalorum

Dragon of the Week: Thousand Year Old Jiangkou Stone Dragon (China)

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Remove coffee or tea stains from china cups. Soak clean china cups for five to ten minutes in a solution of one tablespoon Clorox bleach per gallon of water. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/clorox.html

Anyone who has experienced a certain amount of loss in their life has empathy for those who have experienced loss. --Anderson Cooper

Little Droid, Funny Droid, nifty ball of neat. Torchy Droid, Rolly Droid, beep, beep, beep

Studies show that atheists are more likely to own more cats than christians, but it may be only because it's illegal to own christians. ɖɖ One-two-three, an English cat, raced Un-deux-trois, a french cat, across the English Channel. Both swam very fast but in the end One-two-three was declared the winner because the Un-duex-tois cat sank. (quatre cinq)

...........That Bob got locked up Sunday..........Webb Pierce …..In The Jailhouse Now

4) In the United States, pickleball is extremely popular: in 2024, an estimated 50 million people (about 19% of the adult population) play or had played at least once. It is the fastest-growing sport in the country, with an 85.7% annual growth rate and over 40,000 dedicated courts.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I hate spelling errors; mix up two letters and your post is urined.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Rebel Scum Con 2025 (8-10, Frisco. TX) ...celebrate all things Star Wars. https://rebelscumconventions.com/

Pre Quote of the Week: Your best men die in alleys under a sheet of paper while your worst men get statues in parks for pigeons to shit upon for centuries. --Charles Bukowski

Reader Response of the Week: Love pie, and, yes I have had it for breakfast. My rule is that if there is dessert left from dinner the night before, then it becomes breakfast. Texas is definitely pecan pie country. I guess it said buttermilk pie was the most searched recipe because everyone already knows how to make pecan pie. --Submitted by rk of tx ~~In response to the dOuble ePistle (8/1)

The great gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy. --Meryl Streep

Soft minion, warm minion, little ball of drama. Happy minion, loyal minion, banana, banana, banana

Both programmers and cats can sit nearly motionless for hours and both get excited when they find a bug. ɖɖ Germany has an underground movement of cats racing speed boats. They can't do it publically because it's fur boatin'.

..........Don't cut out of here 'til we get on Cloud Nine.........Connie Stevens …..Kookie

5) The World Pickleball Federation (WPF) already has more than 60 member states spread across five continents. But the USA, the country where the sport was created, is not part of the WPF because it has its own organization, the USA Pickelball (USAP), which wants to maintain its own expansion model without depending on another international entity.

Protest Sign of the Week: Cage Pedophiles Not Immigrants

Better Protest Sign of the Week: Can We Skip To When He Shoots Himself In The Bunker

Quote of the Week: I don't think the robots are taking over. I think the men who play with toys have taken over. And if we don't take the toys out of their hands, we're fools. --Ray Bradbury

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Just saw a cartoon of the orange ogre playing golf in Scotland where the Loch Ness monster carries a sign that says, Release The Files

Today's Peace of History: August 8, 1974: President Richard M. Nixon resigned from office, the first US president ever to do so. The House Judiciary Committee had, with bipartisan support (the Democrats and one-third of the Republican members), voted for three articles of impeachment: obstruction of justice, abuse of power, and contempt of Congress. ~~Ah, the good old days

The solution to nearly every problem in the world comes down to greater awareness, compassion, and empathy. --Bryant H McGill

Soft Pika, warm Pika, charging up anew. Happy Pika, Pika Pika, I choose you

I have a Siamese cat but she speaks Purrsian. ɖɖ Cats don't “go missing”. They're taking time off from you. ɖɖ The reason so many cats grow up to be gurus is that they always live in the meow.

..........Today it's history.........Mel Tillis …..Stomp Them Grapes

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, August 8, 2025: sPhinxy ePistle . Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees. --Emiliano Zapata

Cost of War:

As of 08/07/25 State Department Costs:$271,745,256,943

As of 07/31/25 State Department Costs: $271,215,815,360

As of 08/07/25 Homeland Security: $1,206,879,594,697

As of 07/31/25 Homeland Security: $1,206,303,496,887

As of 08/07/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,318,119,108,835

As of 07/31/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,316,638,067,117

As of 08/07/25 Military Costs: $3,160,479,396,502

As of 07/31/25 Military Costs: $3,159,354,005,235

As of 08/07/25 Veterans Care: $4,416,942,753,377

As of 07/31/25 Veterans Care: $4,405,716,412,752

As of 08/07/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,374,168,989,476

As of 07/31/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,359,233,387,607

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

All Members shall settle their international disputes by peaceful means in such a manner that international peace and security, and justice, are not endangered. --UN Charter

Famous Last Words: laughter is possible, laughter is possible. --Shirley Jackson who died August 8, 1965 ~~This is the last entry in her journal some time before her death from heart failure.

..........Look out the way, Get out the way..........Jimmy Cliff …..The Lion Awakes Again

The whole idea of compassion is based on a keen awareness of the interdependence of all these living beings, which are all part of one another, and all involved in one another. --Thomas Merton

Soft yarn, warm yarn, buy it by the yard. Happy yarn, pretty yarn, here's my credit card

I prefer cats to dogs; there is no way a cat would work for the police. ɖɖ Carl Cat was arrested and hauled in by the local police. He was suspected of committing a feliney.

May Peace ease your heart

And Joy relieve your mind

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: Dog Joke

dOuble ePistle

Famous First Words: Row, Row, Row your boat... This is believed to be the most popular Round or Part-Song

Double the fun with twins. The Lucky Charms leprechaun has an evil twin. He's tragically malicious. §§ Do twins ever realize that one of them was unplanned?

It was nothing but a readiness of the soul, an ability, a secret art, to think the thought of oneness, to feel and breathe the oneness at every moment, in the midst of life. --Hermann Hesse

..........Now we look to the stars.........Francis Scott Key …..The Star Spangled Banner

The reality is if we want peace, we must prepare for peace. --Fellowship of Reconciliation

It is a gorgeous Friday morning. The temperature is 64°F and feels cool on the cheek and refreshing to the soul. A 7mph breeze makes the willows dance and the other foliage wave back in appreciation. A single squirrel sits on the edge of the storage shed eating peanuts and spreading shell pieces over the roof and the yard. The bluejay family has come and gone – I heard them discussing the morning earlier. I have not checked to see how many squirrels are scrambling through the grass to investigate the patio. Puck and been out and is now snoring under my feet. The world is so August – full green grass and trees and flowers and fruit and summer. And coolness too. What more could one ask of a summer's day?

Hope your weekend provides double the rest and relaxation, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: In the end, I want my heart to be covered in stretch marks. --Submitted by Memoirs of a Post-Evangelical

Oh, are they twins? No, they're triplets. I just leave the ugly one at home §§ Oh, you had twins? No, the hospital was having a buy one, get one special.

Think always of the universe as one living creature, comprising one substance and one soul. --Marcus Aurelius

..........Between the dawn and the dark of night..........The Grateful Dead …..Ripple

Trivia Questions: It's Homemade Pie Day aka Braham Pie Day

1. What is the most popular pie in the US?

2. All the statistics come from sales of pies so homemade pie doesn't pile up any data. What is the most searched pie recipe in Kansas?

3. What percentage of Americans said they have had pie for breakfast?

4. Where in the US is the city called Pie Town?

5. The Romans published the first recipe for pie. What kind was it?

Big Hello: Pozdravljeni – Slovenian (Austria, Hungary, and Croatia) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I know what I bring to the table, so trust me when I say I'm not afraid to eat alone. --Submitted by WWRWM

Image of the Week:

Insult of the Week: If looks could kill, you'd soon find out that yours couldn't. --Iris Owens After Claude

The orchestra leader named his twins Anna 1, Anna 2. §§ My twins are a twincredible duo.

The future of the human race will likely depend on our ability to transcend this tribalism and to see our fate as interconnected with everyone else's. --Robert Greene

..........You'd think that we'd know better at this point in our lives.........Robert Cray …..Playing In The Dirt

Moonbeam: Faith is the daring of the soul to go further than it can see. --William Clark

Blasphemy of the Week: Stop naming your kids Bible names but not teaching them Bible stories. I just got robbed by Moses. --Submitted by FNOG

Coffee Joke of the Week: Men are like coffee, good ones keep you up all night long.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Siri kept calling me Shirley this morning and I was getting really annoyed, but I realized I had my phone in Airplane mode. --Submitted by UUHS

My twin sister sued me for identity theft. §§ I was 25 before my parents told me that my identical twin sister was actually adopted.

We are stardust brought to life, then empowered by the universe to figure itself out—and we have only just begun. --Neil deGrasse Tyson

.......It's all a dream we dreamed one afternoon long ago..........Grateful Dead …..Box Of Rain

1) According to Reader's Digest Apple Pie is the most popular pie. It accounts for 29% of bakery made pies. I tried to find out what pie is most often made at home but nobody really knows.

Almanac: It is Friday, August 1, 2025. The moon enters its first quarter today and is on the Libra/Scorpio cusp. Today is Girlfriend's Day, Lammas Day aka Lughnasa aka Lughnasadh, National Minority Donor Awareness Day, National Spritz Day, Respect For Parents, Rounds Resounding Day, Spider-Man Day, US Air Force Day, World Lung Cancer Day, World Wide Web Day, and World Scout Scarf Day. Because it is the first Friday in August it is also Braham Pie Day aka Homemade Pie Day, International Beer Day, National Water Balloon Day, Tomboy Tools Day, and Twins Day.

Among those born on this day were Claudius (10 B.C.E.), William Clark (1770), Francis Scott Key (1779), Maria Mitchell (1818), Dom DeLuise (1933), Yves Saint-Laurent (1936), Jerry Garcia (1942), Robert Cray (1953), and Tempestt Bledsoe (1973).

On August first the Whiskey Rebellion began (1794), slavery was abolished in the British Empire (1834), the first cable car ran through San Francisco (1873), Colorado became the 38th state (1876), the Hawaii National Park was established (1916), the Atomic Energy Commission was created (1946), the 3rd class postage rose to $.04 cents (1956), and Dahomey gained independence (1960).

Night Sky, 8/1: The moon will be hanging halfway between Antares two fists from its upper left and Spica sinking away two fists to its lower right. Jupiter emerges from behind the sun today. I can be seen an hour before sunrise. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Insider's view of Shark Week

This Week: Saturday, August 2 – National Clown Day & National Sunflower Day & Sleep Under The Stars Night

Night Sky, 8/2: Every 15 years Titan, Saturn's largest moon, repeatedly crosses Saturn's face from Earth's viewpoint – and, more visibly, casts its very tiny black shadow onto Saturn's face. They will continue every 16 days until October.

Sunday, August 3 – Friendship Day & Sister's Day & National Doll Day

Monday, August 4 – International Clouded Leopard Day & Picnic Day

Tuesday, August 5 – Dolly Parton Day & National Electric Traffic Light Day & National Night Out

Wednesday, August 6 – Hiroshima Day

Night Sky, 8/6: Saturn: (magnitude +0.8, in Pisces) rises around 10 or 11 pm daylight-saving time. But the best time to try a telescope on Saturn is in the hour or so before the beginning of dawn, when it's at its highest in the south.

Thursday, August 7 – Lighthouse Day & Particularly Preposterous Packaging Day

You can't choose your twin sister but you can choose your therapist. §§ The best thing about being a twin is that you have a ready-made partner in crime.

A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. --Albert Einstein

..........Don't fear the shadows me you can trust.........Robert Cray …..Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark

2) Apple is the most searched Kansas pie recipe. The blurb mentioned Manhattan as the Little Apple too. You can find the most searched pie recipe in your state at: https://www.allrecipes.com/gallery/most-searched-pie-in-every-state/ But guess first.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: You can get the Pedophile in Chief to confess. Tell him you realize he wasn't rich enough or popular enough to get invited to those parties.

Moonbeam: That knowledge which is popular is not science. --Maria Mitchell

Update of the Week: I have turned in the keys to Jeffrey's apartment. I will put an obit in the Lawrence Times and we will celebrate his life in September.

Fun Fact of the Week: Happy National Water Balloon Day! Water Balloons are made smaller than standard gas balloons so they can be used (thrown) more easily. When filled with water, they can have a diameter of 10 to 15cm (4-6 in) while if gas balloons are to be filled with water would have the diameter of some 30cm (12 in) and would be harder to throw because they would break more easily. Water balloons are also made to have thick enough walls to be held without bursting yet thin enough to burst when they hit a surface.

Video of the Week: Ceasefire --Fellowship of Reconciliation https://forusa.org/ (5:08 and worth every second)

Lead me from death to Life, from falsehood to Truth. Lead me from despair to Hope. Lead me from hate to Love, from war to Peace. --Fellowship of Reconciliation

What I've found to be important is mainly just the realization that everyone has all knowledge and all humanity within themselves. Individual minds are connected to a universal mind. --Willie Nelson

I failed my calculus exam because I was sitting between two identical twins. It was impossible to differentiate between them. §§ Did you hear about the identical twin police officers? They were copies.

..........Trouble ahead, trouble behind..........Grateful Dead …..Casey Jones

3) According to the American Pie Council, 35% of Americans claim to have eaten pie at breakfast. FYI: 66% have had it at lunch and 59% have snacked on pie between meals.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm not procrastinating. I'm recalibrating the trajectory of my timeline. --Submitted by 42 Collective

Weird Word of the Week: Cleek – a large hook (as for a pot over a fire) https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cleek

Dragon of the Week: Epcot Dragon --Submitted by ml of ks

Dragon of Last Week: The image shows one of the "Creature Creations" by artist Jim Dickerman, which are part of the "Open Range Zoo" in Lincoln County, Kansas. --Thank you to vr of Thailand

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Remove mold and mildew from outdoor siding, tile, brick, stucco, and patios. Clean with a mixture of three-quarters cup Clorox bleach per gallon of water. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/clorox.html

You are not in the world. The world is in you. --Deepak Chopra

I have an identical twin. Whenever people ask me if I'm single, I say, “Nope, I'm double”. §§ Today a woman showed up at my door and claimed she was my identical twin. We stood side by side in front of the mirror and it was obvious. I was beside myself.

...........And the street has its attractions..........Robert Cray …..Night Patrol

4) Nope, it's not the name of a cute bakery , and no, it's not imaginary! Pie Town is a real place located on Hwy 60 in Catron County, New Mexico. Their specialty: Pies, of course.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: We shouldn't screw over the planet for the same reasons we don't screw over our friends. It won't be a good thing if nature “unfriends” you. https://www.facebook.com/powwowscom

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: JoMoCon 2025 (1-3, Joplin, MO) Are you ready for more... https://www.jomocon.org/

Philosophy Joke of the Week: Oh, my that was so embarrassing – I thought the abyss was staring at me, so I stared back, but it was totally staring at someone else. --Submitted by UUHS

Spark of Joy of the Week: Worrying is like paying a debt you don't own. --Mark Twain

Jaguar, my cat, gave birth to identical twin kittens. They were duplicats. §§ Identical twin brothers were arrested for separate crimes. Now they're finishing one another's sentences.

..........Set out runnin' but I take my time.........Grateful Dead …..Friend Of The Devil

5) The first pie recipe published by the Romans was for a rye-crusted goat cheese and honey pie. Epicurious has posted it: https://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/goat-cheese-honey-and-rye-crust-pie

Protest Sign of the Week: Government: Ideas So Good They Have To Be Mandatory

Better Protest Sign of the Week: Humankind Be Both

Quote of the Week: You'll never find justice in a world where criminals make the rules. --Bob Marley

Quote of the Week II: What if “winning” meant everyone eats, everyone learns, and no one's left behind? That's the kind of world worth fighting for. --Neil deGrasse Tyson

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Yup, there's your problem. You've mistaken arbitrary norms specific to your social group for sacred immutable truths and it has driven you insane. --Regem Rex --Submitted by Philosopher Games

Today's Peace of History: August 1, 1914: As World War I began, Harry Hodgkin, a British Quaker, and Friedrich Siegmund-Schulte, a German Lutheran pastor, attending a conference in Germany, pledged to continue sowing the “seeds of peace and love, no matter what the future might bring,” germinating the idea for the Fellowship of Reconciliation (FOR).

We are stardust, we are golden. We are billion -year-old carbon. --Crosby Still and Nash

A scientist couple had identical twins. They named one Paula and the other Group Control. §§ I knew a set of twin brothers who liked having threesomes. They were dopplebangers.

..........Ohhhhhh don't worry.........Robert Cray …..Your Secret's Safe With Me

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, August 1, 2025: dOuble ePistle . Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil. --Jerry Garcia

Cost of War:

As of 07/31/25 State Department Costs: $271,215,815,360

As of 07/10/25 State Department Costs: $270,637,677,412

As of 07/31/25 Homeland Security: $1,206,303,496,887

As of 07/10/25 Homeland Security: $1,205,675,449,627

As of 07/31/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,316,638,067,117

As of 07/10/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,315,022,564,160

As of 07/31/25 Military Costs: $3,159,354,005,235

As of 07/10/25 Military Costs: $3,158,128,369,914

As of 07/31/25 Veterans Care: $4,405,716,412,752

As of 07/10/25 Veterans Care: $4,393,469,441,497

As of 07/31/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,359,233,387,607

As of 07/10/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,342,935,654,166

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

While coming from diverse religious backgrounds, we have a common belief in the transforming power of nonviolence and reconciliation. --Fellowship of Reconciliation

Famous Last Words: --history will call us wives. --Frank Herbert Dune (Released August 1, 1965)

..........Sometimes the cards aren't worth a dime, if you don't lay 'em down.........Grateful Dead ….Truckin'

We all are one, same universal world. --Jimmy Cliff

I think the hospital switched our children at birth. They're identical twins, so it's hard to tell. §§ I used to date a twin in college. The best part was there were pretty much two of them because they looked alike. My friends and family would joke and tease me all the time about how I could tell them apart. I could always tell because my girlfriend always painted her nails black and her brother had a penis.

May Peace soothe your head

And Joy ease your heart

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: