Mos Eisley ePistle

 Famous First Words: Space: The Final Frontier... Star Trek Opening Sequence

It is Extraterrestrial Visitor Week. If the government is covering up knowledge of aliens, they are doing a better job of it than they do at anything else. --Stephen Hawking / Aliens harvest their crops with tractor beams.

..........tell me did you sail across the sun.........Train …..Drops of Jupiter

Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally. --Abraham Lincoln

It is a frigid (2°F) morning. The sun is shining brightly and reflecting off the snow. A light wind emphasizes the cold without actually blowing your hat off. The sky is wonderfully blue with puffs of white and gray floating about. My semi-annual visit to the doctor went well and I am cutting back on my blood pressure meds and keeping my thyroid pills. I had not lost (or gained) any weight but I was wearing 47 pounds worth of clothes because it's 2 degrees outside. There is no wildlife skittering about the yard nor birds filling the air. It is quiet and clear and cold. Life in Kansas.

May your weekend be filled with stars, epistliers.

**Mos Eisley is the name of the spaceport bar in the very first Star Wars movie.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I don't understand why couples do 3 month anniversary posts, I've had cups in my room longer than that. --Submitted by INRITH

Shameless Self Promotion of the Week: Last week Beth Schultz and I participated in a February Sisters program for University Women. The recording of that program is online at February Sisters – YouTube

The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens..We can't be the best that creation has to offer. --Ellen Degeneres / We finally got a message from the mothership. It said “When I said take out the trash, I didn't mean to throw it into the ocean.”

..........I just decided by the grace of the god Poseidon.........Ghostemane …..Mercury: Retrograde

Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday, Annie Get Your Gun

^ Know who wrote Annie?

^^ Who played Annie and Frank at the Broadway opening in 1946?

^^^ Who played Annie and Frank in the movie version?

^^^^ Care to guess how many performances the original play ran?

^^^^^ What's your favorite song from Annie Get Your Gun?

Big Hello: néih hóu also transliterated Nin háo– Chinese https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Getting REAL TIRED of babysitting my mom's grand kids right now. --Submitted by FNOG

Max Picture of the Week: Max gets a message from heaven and takes up t-ball

Happy Birthday to Rhapsody in Blue: George Gershwin - Rhapsody in Blue - YouTube

Fake Library Statistic of the Week: For every library rule there is an equal and opposite library rule. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

We don't need to prove the existence of aliens. That's unproductive, unless we make a bet on it. --Toba Beta / Earth Tourism Tours include: The Loch Ness Scenic Tour, the Yeti Exchange Program, and Unicorn Safari

..........He's the best selling show.........David Bowie …..Life on Mars

Moonbeam: The truth will make you odd. --Judy Blume

Meditation of the Week: Breathe in Strength, Breathe out Bullshit --The Fuck That Meditation

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Whenever a child learns critical thinking, somewhere a conspiracy theory dies

Week of the Week: Children's Authors & Illustrators Week (7-13) –E B White was always cold because he was surrounded by drafts. / My friend Joan was a writer of children's mysteries. Her pen name was Bic.

Perhaps we've never been visited by aliens because they have looked upon Earth and decided there's no sign of intelligent life. --Neil deGrasse Tyson / Monday on Mercury: Another scorcher today. 800°. Yeah, we're lucky it's a dry heat.

..........You can never see it with your eyes.........Skillet …..Saturn

^ Annie Get Your Gun is a musical with lyrics and music by Irving Berlin and book by Dorothy and Herbert Fields.

Almanac: It is Friday, February 12, 2021. The moon was new yesterday and is in Pisces. It is the Lunar New Year, Darwin Day, NAACP Day, Oglethorpe Day, Paczki Day, Paul Bunyan Day (birthday), and Safety Pup Day.

Among those born on this day were John Winthrop (1588), Cotton Mather (1663), Louisa (Catherine Johnson) Adams (1775), Charles Darwin (1809), Abraham Lincoln (1809), John L. Lewis (1880), Omar Bradley (1893), Ted Mack(1904), Forrest Tucker (1919), Franco Zeffirelli (1923), Arlen Specter (1930), Bill Russell (1934), Judy Blume (1938), Moe Bandy (1944), Paula Zahn (1956), Arsenio Hall (1958), Stephen Baldwin (1967), and Christina Ricci (1980).

On February twelfth the English parliament came together (1624), Chile gained independence (1818), Ecuador annexed the Galapagos Islands (1832), Spalding opened a sporting good shop (1876), the National Croquet League was organized (1880),the NAACP was founded (1909), Rhapsody in Blue premiered (1924), Annie Get Your Gun closed (1949), Eisenhower sent the first US advisors to Vietnam (1955), Macon GA began a bus boycott (1962), and Radio Free Harlem began transmitting (1967).

Night Sky, 2/12: Orion stands his highest in the south by about 8 pm, looking smaller than you probably remember him appearing early in the winter when he was low. You're seeing the "Moon illusion" effect. Constellations, not just the Moon, look bigger when they're low. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Image of the Week: Lunar New Year decorations in a mall in Bangkok, Thailand

This Week: Saturday, February 13 – Galentine's Day & International Condom Day & National Wingman's Day

Sunday, February14 – St Valentine's Feast & League of Women Voters Day & Race Relation Sunday

Night Sky, 2/14: By 9 pm or so, the Big Dipper stands on its handle in the northeast. In the northwest, Cassiopeia also stands on end (its brighter end) at about the same height. Between them is Polaris.

Monday, February 15 – Lupercalia & National Hippo Day & Susan B Anthony Day

My folks came to US as immigrants, aliens, and became citizens. I was born in Boston, a citizen, went to Hollywood and became an alien. --Leonard Nimoy / The first person Takok, the Marian, met on earth was the editor of Boy's Life. Takok shook his hand and said, “Take me to your reader”.

..........the black moon shines on a lake.........Patti Smith Tarkovsky (The Second Stop Is Jupiter)

^^ The 1946 opening of Annie saw Ethel Merman as Annie Oakley and Ray Middleton as Frank Butler.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If I had known in March that it would be the last time I could go to a restaurant, I would have ordered the dessert. --ja of ks

Moonbeam: Fear is often disguised as moral outrage. --Judy Blume

Late Night Snacks of the Week: Pennsylvania groundhog Punxsutawney Phil today saw his shadow which in COVID time means 6 more weeks of February. --Seth Meyers / Hey, here's a question. Why aren't these vaccination stations open 24 hours. Why is it hard to get a shot. How is it that 7-11 manages to stay open all night and the places with the life saving drugs close at 8. Put the vaccine in slurpees if you have to; I want out of my house. --Jimmy Kimmel / Seriously who's having a better year than Netflix. Even Purell is jealous. --Jimmy Fallon / Check your calendar, we have completed 2, count them 2 weeks, of the Biden administration and so much has changed. For instance liquor sales have plummeted, and that just at my house. --Stephen Colbert

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie...Power to the really short people

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: On Wednesday nights, people have a special meal in Sweden. It's called Lillordag, which means Little Saturday. They drink cocktails. They talk about how "Wednesday Night Live" used to be so much better. --Peter Sagal Thursday is called We Don't Get Anything Done Thursday. --Peter Grosz Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 2/6/21

There's no honorable way to kill, no gentle way to destroy. There is nothing good in war except its ending. --Abraham Lincoln

Earth is the Alabama of the universe and that's the reason aliens are not spending their quatloos here. --Kathleen Madigan / How do you put a baby alien to sleep? You rocket.

..........on the burning edge horizon.........Jimi Hendrix …..Valleys of Neptune

^^^ Betty Hutton and Howard Keel played Annie and Frank in the 1950 movie release. In the made for TV movie aired in 1957 Mary Martin and John Raitt played the pair.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm just curious: how are you going to celebrate Extraterrestrial Culture Day on Tuesday? Mel and I have a couple of discount coupons to Perkins. I think that might be a good place to find extraterrestrials. I guess that would include us. --ab of ks

Weird Word of the Week: Dandiprat – a little man Nobody has the slightest idea where the word comes from. It first appeared in the language in the early sixteenth century in the sense of a small coin that was current at the time, curiously worth 1½ pence, but then quickly develops its other senses. World Wide Words: Dandiprat

Quote of the Week: Unfortunately, however, many of the same science fiction writers who started us thinking about the possibility of extraterrestrial life did nothing to make us think about here-at-home variation – women, blacks, Indians, Asians, Hispanics, etc. --Octavia Butler

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Remove an adhesive bandage painlessly. Rub in a little Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing into the bandage winds, wait a few minutes, then peel off. Alberto VO5®: Wacky Uses

Puzzle of the Week: This challenge came from listener Derrick Niederman, of Charleston, S.C. Starting in Montana, you can drive into South Dakota and then into Iowa. Those three states have the postal abbreviations MT, SD, and IA — whose letters can be rearranged to spell AMIDST. The challenge is to do this with four connected states to make an eight-letter word. That is, start in a certain state, drive to another, then another, and then another. Take the postal abbreviations of the four states you visit, mix the letters up and use them to spell a common eight-letter word. Derrick and I know of only one answer. Can you do this? --NPR Sunday Puzzle 2/7/21

Aunt of Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My brother just texted me: “I love the fact that the entire moral fate of the country depends on finding just 17 honest Republicans. It's like some impossible task from a fairytale. --Submitted by jm of ks

Or perhaps they are here, but in hiding because of some Lex Galactica, some ethic of noninterference with emerging civilizations. We can imagine them, curious and dispassionate, observing us, as we would watch a bacterial culture in a dish of agar, to determine whether this year again, we manage to avoid self-destruction. --Carl Sagan / Farmer Fran hung a space suit on a pole in her wheatfield to discourage crop circles.

...........the world's oblique.........Paul Weller …..Saturn's Pattern

^^^^ Annie ran for1,147 performances and spawned revivals, a film and a television version. In addition it ran in London and was revived there. There were 2 US touring companies and 2 Broadway revivals.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My idea of a super bowl is a toilet that cleans itself. --Maxine

Science Fiction Joke of the Week: The chances of finding out what’s really going on in the universe are so remote, the only thing to do is hang the sense of it and keep yourself occupied. --Douglas Adams

Actual Science Joke of the Week: Have a problem, need an answer? Ask a chemist; they have all the solutions.

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: FLAGRANT (Florida -GeorgiA -TeNnessee -ARkansas)

I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here. --Arthur C Clarke / There are creatures living on Mars. They suck iron out of the soil and pee red, which explains its color. The creatures are called Lunaticks.

..........Til our time and space combine.........Usher …..Mars vs Venus

^^^^^ Your choices are: **Doin' What Comes Natur'lly **The Girl That I Marry **You Can't Get A Man With A Gun **There's No Business Like Show Business **They Say It's Wonderful **I'm An Indian Too **I Got Lost In His Arms **I Got The Sun In The Morning **Anything You Can Do yes, there are several others but I got tired of typing. ~~I couldn't pick

Recreating Famous Painting With Anything You Can Find of the Week:

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Spock: So, what did you get when you mixed the human DNA with the whale DNA? Kirk: Kicked out of Sea World.

Something Good About 2020 of the Week: Fossil fuel divestment gathered pace. Divestment movement and disclosure gather pace; China set to trade carbon - We Mean Business coalition

Today's Peace of History, February 12, 1909: The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) was founded by sixty blacks and whites in a call to safeguard civil, legal, economic, human, and political rights of black Americans partly in reaction to a race riot in 1908 in Springfield, Illinois, home of Abraham Lincoln.

I said that if an alien came to visit, I'd be embarrassed that we fight wars to pull fossil fuels out of the ground to run our transportation. They'd be like, “What?” --Neil deGrasse Tyson / If athletes get athlete's foot do astronauts get missletoe?

..........Breathe it in with me..........Jay Sean …..Mars

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle February 12, 2021, Mos Eisley ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: Librarians save lives: by handing the right book, at the right time, to a kid in need. --Judy Blume

Cost of War:

As of 2/4/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,104,012,027,938.

As of 2/4/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,102,049,608,855.

As of 2/4/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,018,833,484,497.

As of 2/4/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,017,499,893,855.

As of 2/4/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $830,476,491,392.

As of 2/4/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $828,799,367,531.

As of 2/4/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $344,381,049,874.

As of 2/4/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $343,999,829,493.

As of 2/4/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,297,704,094,919.

As of 2/4/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,292,349,215,961.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Ballots are the rightful and peaceful successors to bullets. --Abraham Lincoln

..........Let me see what spring in like on Jupiter or Mars..........Frank Sinatra …..Fly Me to the Moon

I am discounting reports of UFOs. Why would they appear only to cranks and weirdos? --Stephen Hawking / Remember if you encounter an alien, give him some space.

Famous Last Words: la ciudad de Independencia. Declaration of Independence of Chile

May Peace fill your space

And Joy fill your heart

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Digested ePistle

 Famous First Words: In the name of the most holy... Treaty of Westphalia

Happy Birthday to Reader's Digest. Hope you enjoy these favorite RD jokes. A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.” / A guy walks into a dentist’s office and says, “I think I’m a moth.” The dentist replies, “You shouldn’t be here. You should be seeing a psychiatrist…” The guy replies, “I am seeing a psychiatrist.” The dentist says, “Well then what are you doing here?” And the guy says, “Your light was on.”

..........Yes, they'll all come to meet me, arms reaching, smiling sweetly.........Joan Baez …..Green, Green Grass of Home ~~Joan sang this on the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour 3/30/69

On this shrunken globe, men can no longer live as strangers. --Adlai Stevenson

It is a cold Friday morning and I have just had my first COVID-19 vaccine shot. I went to the hospital where they checked my temperature and gave me a blank blue slip of paper to indicate I was allowed in as long as I was on my way to get a shot. Two of us went down on the elevator because 2 is all they allow. It is a big elevator, so 2 people can stand apart. The route through passageways and halls were clearly marked. I waited in a distanced line for about 30 seconds, maybe, certainly not long. All the people getting shots this morning were female. Hum? So were all the workers. The paperwork was just permission to be treated and I had to give my birth date a gazillion times. Since my first name is Mary and my last name is Smith, there are a lot of us in any file anyone looks into. (There are 16 local library cards issued to Mary Smiths.) They checked my paperwork, witnessed my signature and I went to another room to get my shot. Since it was very cold this morning (24°F), everyone had layers to remove before getting down to a bare arm – gloves, scarves, coats, sweaters, long sleeves, etc. I had to wait 15 minutes after the shot to make sure there was no immediate, horrible reaction. No one waiting with me had such a reaction – I'm so glad. Some people had to wait 30 minutes because they tended to be allergic to things. I did not even feel a pinprick, but I was assured that almost everybody has a sore arm for a day or two. So I'm half safe with an appointment to be double shot in 3 weeks.

Hope your weekend floats like a butterfly, Monarch that is, ePistlers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: In the wild falcons live to be about 14 years old. That means that all falcons alive today were born in the 21^st century. You might say that makes them millennial falcons. --Submitted by HPF

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the highway. Looking at the car, he was astounded to see that the elderly woman behind the wheel was knitting. The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, “Pull over!” “No!” the woman yelled back, “Cardigan!” / Two men were driving home one night when one asked the other to check if the car’s indicators are working. He promptly sticks his head out the window and says: “Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.”

..........Natural child, terrible child.........The Doors …..Wild Child ~~The doors sang this on the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour 12/15/68

Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday to Hägar (the Horrible) who turns 28 today.

^ Know who created the Hägar the Horrible comic strip?

^^ Any idea who draws it now?

^^^ What do you know about Hägar's name?

^^^^ What other characters from the strip can you name?

^^^^^ How is Browne's illustration style described?

Big Hello: Moni - Chichewa https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: We spent 738 billion dollars on defense in 2020 and the Capitol building was taken in 10 minutes by Duck Dynasty and a guy in a deerskin bikini. --Bill Sandifer --Submitted by rhb of ks

Max Picture of the Week: Max waiting for the super bowl and another Chief's championship t-shirt

Fake Library Statistic of the Week: According to patron stories, 14% of library items are returned before they are even checked out. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Sad after the funeral of a friend, my wife and I ducked into a Chinese restaurant for a pick-me-up. The feel-good session ended when I read the fortune cookie: “You will soon be reunited with a good friend.” / A man is struggling to find a parking space. “Lord,” he prays. “I can’t stand this. If you open a space up for me, I swear I’ll give up the drink and go to mass every Sunday.” Suddenly, the clouds part and the sun shines on an empty parking spot. Without hesitation, the man says: “Never mind, I found one!”

..........It's only old Jack and his icy breath he blows.........Donovan …..Little White Flower ~~Donovan sang this on the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour 11/17/68

Moonbeam: Language is a virus from outer space. –William S Burroughs

Meditation of the Week: Create a mental picture of yourself when you were playful, or think about positive memories of yourself as a child. Imagine your playful or childhood self, creating all the details you can in your mind.

Quote of the Week: The Earth is round. Two plus two equal four. Joe Biden and Kamala Harris won the 2020 election for President and Vice President of the United States. The election was not stolen, rigged, or fixed. These are the facts. They are demonstrable and irrefutable. --Opening paragraph of Smartmatic's $2.7 billion lawsuit against Giuliani, Powell, Fox News, Dobbs, Bartiromo, and Pirro.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Without actually saying you have kinds, tell me you have kids: I can't sneeze without crossing my legs. / Petrified french fries in the backseat. --Submitted by #RHOZ

Week of the Week: Dump Your Significant Jerk Week (always the week before Valentine's Day) –Break Up Lines: Hey, baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back. / Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me? / I once believed in love at first sight. Now I believe in misery at six months.

Anyone want to buy some exercise equipment? I’m having a going-out-of-fitness sale. / A Canadian park ranger is giving some ramblers a warning about bears, “Brown bears are usually harmless. They avoid contact with humans so we suggest you attach small bells to your rucksacks and give the bears time to get out of your way. However, grizzly bears are extremely dangerous. If you see any grizzly-bear droppings leave the area immediately.” “So how do we know if they’re grizzly bear droppings?” asks one of the ramblers. “It’s easy,” replies the ranger. “They’re full of small bells.”

..........Stop, children, what's that sound.........Buffalo Springfield …..For What It's Worth ~~The guys sang this on the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour 2/26/67

^ Hägar the Horrible is the title and main character of an American comic strip created by Dik Browne and syndicated by King Features Syndicate.

Almanac: It is Friday, February 5, 2021. The moon was last quarter yesterday and is in Sagittarius. It is Adlai Stevenson Day, Shower with a Friend Day, Weatherman's (Weatherperson's) Day (how about, Weather Forecaster or Meteorologist), Western Monarch Day (the butterfly, not kings and queens), and National Doodle Day. Because it is the first Friday it is Wear Red Day (Women's Heart Disease), Give Kids a Smile Day, and Work Naked Day. Finland Runeberg the Poet Day (1804) and in Japan it is Martyrs Day (26 martyrs-1597). México celebrates Constitution Day (1857 & 1917) and in San Marino it is Liberation Day. In the ancient Roman calendar it is Nonae Februarius.

Among those born on this day were John Jeffries (1744), Margaretha de Neufville (1775), John Lindley (1799), Belle Starr (Myra Belle Shirley, 1848), Felipe villanueva y Gutiérrez (1862), Henri Hall (1866), André-Gustave Citroën (1878), Adlai Stevenson (1900), John Carradine (1906), Norton Simon (1907), William S. Burroughs (1914), Alan Hodgkin (1914), Zsa Zsa Gabor (Zsa Sari, 1917), Melina Mercouri (1919), Red Buttons (Aaron Chwatt, 1919), Robert Lynn (1924), Andrew Greeley (1928), Hank Aaron (1934), Barbara Hershey (1948), Christopher Guest (1948), Jennifer Jason Leigh (1958), Rose McKagan (Michael, 1964), and Bobby Brown (1969).

On February fifth Roger Williams arrived in Boston (1631), Leopold I signed a peace treaty with France (1679), the Wesley brothers arrived in Savannah, GA (1736), Georgia abolished both entail and primogeniture (1777), Barber of Seville premiered (1816), the Oregon Spectator became the first newspaper on the west coast (1846), South Carolina was the first state to ratify the Articles of Confederation (1778), the carbon glow light bulb was demonstrated (1879), Phoenix, AZ incorporated (1881), Morgan formed US Steel (1901), Mexico adopted its current constitution (1917), Reader's Digest was first published (1922), the National Wildlife Federation formed (1936), Glenn Miller recorded Tuxedo Junction (1940), The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour premiered (1967), Hägar the Horrible debuted (1973), and Kareem Abdul-Jabar became the first NBA player to score 38,000 points (1989).

Night Sky, 2/5: Before and during early dawn Saturday morning the 6th, spot the waning crescent Moon in the south-southeast with Antares some 4° or 5° to its lower right. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Image of the Week: Kansas City and especially Union Station lit up for the Chiefs.

This Week: Saturday, February 6 – Barber Day & National Play Outside Day & Take Your Child to the Library Day

Sunday, February 7 – Ballet Day & Man Day & Popcorn Day & Super Bowl LV

Night Sky, 2/7: The sky's biggest asterism (informal star pattern) — at least the biggest one that's widely recognized — is the Winter Hexagon. It fills the sky toward the east and south these evenings. Start with brilliant Sirius at its bottom. Going clockwise from there, march up through Procyon, Pollux and Castor, then Menkalinan and Capella on high, down to Aldebaran, then to Rigel in Orion's foot, and back to Sirius. Betelgeuse shines inside the Hexagon, well off center. The Hexagon is somewhat distended. But if you draw a line through its middle from Capella down to Sirius, the Hexagon is fairly symmetric with respect to that axis.

Monday, February 8 – Clean Out Your Computer Day & Laugh and Get Rich Day & Opera Day

Tuesday, February 9 – Extraterrestrial Culture Day & Gŵyl Mabsant & National Pizza Day

Wednesday, February 10 – World Pulses Day & National Home Warranty Day

Night Sky, 2/10: After it’s good and dark, look due east, not too high, for twinkly Regulus. Extending upper left from it is the Sickle of Leo, a backward question mark. "Leo announces spring," goes an old saying. Actually, Leo showing up in the evening announces the cold, clammy, messy back half of winter. Come spring, Leo will already be high.

Thursday, February 11 – Be Electrific Day & Get Out Your Guitar Day & White Shirt Day

If I worked in a used record store, I would tell every customer that “all sales are vinyl”. / During the pandemic, my two granddaughters—six and eight years old—were being home-schooled by their mom. One day, the eight-year-old had a spelling bee with her sister. “Spell ‘elephant,'” the older one said. “Let her spell small animals, not big ones,” said her mom. The older sister paused, then said, “Spell ‘mosquito.'”

..........now here's a surprise.........The Who …..I Can See For Miles ~~The Who sang this on the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour 9/17/67

^^ Since Browne's retirement in 1988, his son Chris Browne has continued the strip.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: No person who can read is ever successful at cleaning out an attic. --Ann Landers

Moonbeam: The face of “evil” is always the face of total need. –William S Burroughs

Late Night Snacks of the Week: The only reflecting Wall Street does in doing a line off a mirror. --Trevor Noah / You can tell we’re officially living in Joe Biden’s America, because just one month ago we were fighting for the soul of our nation. Now, we’re fighting for the soul of GameStop. --Samatha Bee / It’s like the hedge fund bros getting mad at people on Reddit. They’re not upset that people are making up some artificially inflated value to game the market, they’re just offended that people who aren’t in their country club are allowed to play now. --Stephen Colbert / McConnell said Greene's views were a cancer on the Republican Party. Well at least they can agree that whatever the cancer is, no one should be able to afford the treatment --Seth Meyers

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie –member in good standing of the Beet Generation

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Gamestop Explained: So you buy a dress for a hundred dollars. And I say to you, Jessi, can I borrow that dress? I'll give it back to you in one month. And you say, sure, it'll look good on you. So you give me the dress, and I run down to the store and immediately return it and get the hundred dollars. And then what I'm hoping is that a month from now, when I need to give you the dress back, I'll go down. It'll have been put on the clearance rack. I'll buy it for $17 - say, here, Jessi. Here's your dress back - and keep the difference. Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell me 1/30/21

A hungry man is not a free man. --Adlai Stevenson

A vegan said to me, “People who sell meat are gross!” I said, “People who sell veggies are grocer.” / “Have children while your parents are young enough to take care of them.” – Rita Rudner

..........Well, I'm not going to point any moral.........Pete Seeger …..Waist Deep In The Big Muddy ~~Pete sang this on the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour 9/10/67

^^^ "Hägar the Terrible" was the nickname given to the late Dik Browne by his sons; Browne adapted the name to Hägar the Horrible for the purposes of alliteration. After his death, Dik Browne's sons changed the title of the strip to Dik Browne's Hägar the Horrible in tribute. The name is pronounced Hay-gar according to Chris Browne.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A new study found that people who take their coffee black are more likely to exhibit psychopathic traits...and people who order a quad shot, non-fat, vanilla soy, extra foam, light whip with caramel drizzle are more likely to be their victims. --Submitted by INRITH

Weird Word of the Week: Cataglottism – French kissing, i.e. kissing using the tongue. World Wide Words: Cataglottism

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Remove makeup. A dab of Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing on a tissue or cotton ball gently removes makeup. Alberto VO5®: Wacky Uses

Puzzle of the Week: This challenge comes from listener Gerry Reynolds of Chicago. Name a national landmark (6,3). Add the name of a chemical element. Rearrange all the letters to name two states. What are they? Answer below NPR Puzzle Sunday 1/24/21 Answer below

A Hollywood producer calls his friend, another Hollywood producer, on the phone. “Hey, how are you doing?” he asks. “Well!” responds the friend. “I just sold a screenplay for $200,000. I also wrote a novel and got a $50,000 advance from the publisher. I have a new TV series airing next week, and everyone says it’s going to be a hit. I’m doing great! How are you?” “OK,” says the first producer. “I’ll call you back when you’re alone.” / “The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing somebody’s cast.” –Demetri Martin

...........And my cool comes all undone.........Electric Prunes …..Here I Go ~~The Prunes sang this on the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour 4/16/67

^^^^ *Hägar's wife Helga *Lucky Eddie, Hägar's BBF *Hamlet, his son *Honi, his daughter *Lute, an inept bard *Hernia, Hamlet's girlfriend *Snert, the dog and *Kvack the German duck *Dr Zook, physician

Penultimate Funniest Things I Read of the Week: Coke was going to issue a special Tom Brady product for the super bowl, but it always tasted flat. / Tom Brady is so old when he orders a 3-minute egg, they ask for the money up front. / When Tom Brady was a boy, the Dead Sea was only sick.

Science Fiction Joke of the Week: How many ears does Spock have? 3: A left ear, a right ear, and a final front ear. / Wolf changed his hair color to blond because it was a good day to dye.

Actual Science Joke of the Week: Chemists like nitrates so much because they're cheaper than day rates. / The most important rule in chemistry class is don't lick the spoon.

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Hoover Dam + tin --> Vermont + Idaho

“Under quarantine, marijuana is legal and haircuts are against the law. It took half a century, but hippies finally won.”– Ruth Buzzi,/ A poodle and a collie are walking together when the poodle suddenly unloads on his friend. “My life is a mess,” he says. “My owner is mean, my girlfriend ran away with a schnauzer, and I’m as jittery as a cat.” “Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist?” suggests the collie. “I can’t,” says the poodle. “I’m not allowed on the couch.”

..........He loves his damned old rodeo.........Judy Collins …..Someday Soon ~~Judy sang this on the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour 12/31/67

^^^^^ Hägar the Horrible uses a clear, sparse editorial-style line drawing, with minimal foreground or background detail, shading or embellishment. Observers argue this is likely derived from Dik Browne's experience as a courtroom illustrator and illustrator of maps of important WWII battles prior to 1942, plus his experience as an illustrator (Staff Sergeant) attached to a US Army Engineer unit where he drew technical diagrams, maps and other documents requiring very clear depictions

Month of the Week: February is Fabulous Florida Strawberry Month. How does an elephant hide in a strawberry patch. He paints his toenails red. / What do you call it when a strawberry robs a bank? Strobbery.

Recreating Famous Painting With Anything You Can Find of the Week:

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The term “domestic housewife” implies that there are feral housewives, and now I have a new goal. --Submitted by cmr of ks

Today's Peace of History, February 5, 1830: America’s first daily labor newspaper began publication in New York City. George Henry Evans, a 29-year-old journeyman printer, was the publisher of "New York Daily Sentinel."

I tried having my mother’s phone disconnected, but customer service told me that since the account was in my dad’s name, he’d have to be the one to put in the request. The fact that he’d been dead for 40 years didn’t sway the rep. Then a solution hit me: “If I stop paying the bill, you can turn off the service, right?” “Well, yes,” she said reluctantly. “But that would ruin his credit.” / A car hit an elderly man. The paramedic says, “Are you comfortable?” The man says, “I make a good living.”

..........One pill makes you larger.........Jefferson Airplane …..White Rabbit ~~The Airplane sang this on the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour11/10/68

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, February 5, 2021, Digested ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Something Good About 2020 of the Week: Deaths by terrorism fell for the fifth consecutive year.

Moonbeam: Man is an artifact designed for space travel. He is not designed to remain in his present biologic state any more than a tadpole is designed to remain a tadpole. –William S Burroughs

Cost of War:

As of 2/4/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,102,049,608,855.

As of 1/28/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,099,998,995,739.

As of 2/4/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,017,499,893,855.

As of 1/28/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,016,106,178,942.

As of 2/4/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $828,799,367,531.

As of 1/28/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $827,047,871,759.

As of 2/4/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $343,999,829,493.

As of 1/28/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $343,601,802,702.

As of 2/4/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,292,349,215,961.

As of 1/28/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,286,755,692,057.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Patriotism is not short, frenzied outbursts of emotion, but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime. --Adlai Stevenson

..........It gets sweeter, baby, as it grows.........Ike & Tina Turner …..River Deep, Mountain High ~~The duo sang this on the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour 4/6/69

Accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach, and now I’m the proud owner of aisle seven. / My favorite part of watching Jeopardy! is saying “I should be on Jeopardy!” every time I answer a $200 clue that happens to be about one of my three interests. – Laura Peek,

Famous Last Words: Amore e fede eterna si vegga in voi regnar. --The Barber of Seville (May love and faith eternal reign in both your hearts.

May Peace walk with you

And Joy hold your hand

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: