Famous First Words: In my younger and more vulnerable years.... F Scott Fitzgerald The Great Gatsby
Last week I had my 82nd Birthday. When they told my great grandchildren that I was an octogenarian Max asked if I had eight arms? )|( Octogenarians often feel like newborns: no hair, no teeth, no bladder control.
..........My old man is another child who's grown old.........John Prine & Bonnie Raitt …..Angel From Montgomery
Censorship, like charity, should begin at home, but, unlike charity, it should end there. --Clare Boothe Luce
It is a damp Friday morning. I can hear the raindrops on the chimney and on the patio table. Plunck... plunck...plunck, The world smells of damp soil and freshly cleansed air. Gusts of wind suddenly stir the very still tree limbs into not quite frenzied dances and send a bracing breeze through the 55°F temperature. No bird song accompanies the percussion of drips; there is not even a car motor to interrupt the soft drip...drip...drip. No lesser cloud floats below the smooth gray bank. Squirrels and dogs and other life stays hidden and, with luck, dry and warm. Puck went out and barked a while and returned damp and happy for his early morning nap. Veronica has not made an appearance yet. It's a quiet house and a quiet day except for the drop...drop...drop of the rain.
Hope your weekend is fresh and fun, Youngsters
FYI of the Week: OE stands for Original ePistlier
Irony of the Week: It was nice of Melania to get everyone talking about the Epstein Files again. --ML of bsky.social.
Vacation Update of the Week: I had a WONDERFUl time...ferry rides, plane rides, sunny days, seafood, kids, grandkids, great grandkids, dogs, everything, all at once...thoughts on my first dispensary visit. Next week's ePistle will feature my travels and the amusing things that happened.
Question of the Week: What was the best thing before sliced bread? --Submitted by Home Groan Puns
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: We are failing an open book history test! --Susan Cho
On their 58th wedding anniversary, Maude got out the original marriage licence. When Fred asked why she said, “I'm looking for the expiration date.” )|( I haven't always been a boring old woman; I used to be an accountant.
..........And if you should survive to a hundred and five.........Jimmy Durante …..Young At Heart
Trivia Questions: Today is the 157th Anniversary of Setting the Supreme Court to 9 justices.
How many judges were on the court when it was created?
When and/or why did Congress first reduce the number of justices?
What prompted the 1807 Act that increased the number of justices on the court?
In 1937 two more justices were added to the bench, why?
So, how did we get to the 9 justices we have now?
Big Hello: Monire – Tumbuka (A Bantu language spoken in Malawi, Zambia, and Tanzania.) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I gave the rest of my pastry to two pigeons. I smiled when I realized that I had filled two birds with one scone. --Submitted by Puns
Image of the Week: Seattle through the Fast Ferry window
Never mess with octogenarians; life in prison is no deterrent at all. )I( You know you're old when people call at 9 pm and ask if they woke you up?
..........It's my belief, we've used up all our time..........The Band …..Rockin' Chair
Moonbeam: Beauty is altogether in the eye of the beholder. --Lew Wallace
Blasphemy of the Week: If your Baptist friends think you're a Catholic and your Catholic friends think you're a Baptist...you might be a Lutheran. --Submitted by MMS
Coffee Joke of the Week: This morning I drank coffee so strong it briefly gave me confidence and opinions I was not qualified to have. --Submitted by INRITH
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: And now these three remain Faith, Hope, and Love. But the greatest of these is Theological Superiority. --Submitted by Wittenburg Door
I'm not worried. 82 is only 27.78 in Celsius. )|( At the Only Over 80s bar the most often asked question is “Do I come here often?
..........O, the days dwindle down to a precious few.........Sarah Vaughan …..The September Song
1) When the Supreme Court was created by the Judiciary Act of 1789, it consisted of six judges: one Chief Justice and five Associate Justices. President George Washington nominated the first justices on September 24, 1789.
Almanac: It is Friday, April 10, 2026. The moon enters its last quarter today in Aquarius. Today is ASPCA DAY (American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals), International Kids Yoga Day, National Donate Life Day aka Blue & Green Day, National Farm Animals Day, National Siblings Day, Salvation Army Founder's Day, and Safety Pin Day.
Among those born on this day were Claude Seurat (1797), Lew Wallace (1827), William Booth (1829), Joseph Pulitzer (1847), Francis Perkins (1880), Ben Nicholson (1894), Clare Boothe Luce (1903), Harry Morgan (1915), Chuck Connors (1921), Sheb Wooley (1921), Junior Samples (1927), Omar Sharif (Michael Shalhoub, 1932), Don Meredith (1938), Eddie Hazel (1950), Steven Seagal (1951), and Haley Joel Osment (1988).
On April tenth Louis III was crowned King of France (879), the US patent system was established (1790), the second Bank of US was chartered (1816), the New York Tribune began publication (1841), the safety pin was patented (Walter Hunt, 1849), Maximilian became emperor of Mexico (1864), Congress increased the number of Supreme Court judges from 7 to 9 (1869), the first National black convention met (New Orleans, 1872), the first professional golf tournament was held (1916), The Great Gatsby was published (1925), synthetic rubber was first produced (1930), Jackie Robinson joined the Dodgers (1947), Paul McCartney officially announced that the Beatle has split up (1970), and NYC banned smoking in all restaurants that seat 35 or more (1995).
Night Sky, 4/10: The moment of the 3rd quarter moon will fall at 11:52 pm CDT on April 9. It’ll rise after midnight your local time and set around noon. Look for it high in the sky before dawn.
Fraternal Picture of the Week: Great Grandma with Max and Ollie at the Yacht Club during low tide
This Week: Saturday, April 11 – Barbershop Quartet Day & National Pet Day & Submarine Day
Sunday, April 12 – Big Wind Day & International Day of Human Space Flight & Walk On Your Wild Side Day
Night Sky, 4/12: On the morning of the 12th, the waning crescent moon will shine in front of the stars of the constellations of Capricornus, the Sea Goat. The stars of Capricornus form a pattern that resembles an arrowhead. Look for them about 60 minutes before sunrise. However, the constellation is faint. Therefore, you’ll need a dark sky to spot it.
Monday, April 13 – Scrabble Day & Sterile Packaging Day & Make Lunch Count Day
Tuesday, April 14 – National Gardening Day & Pan American Day & World Watergun Fight Festival
Wednesday, April 15 – Income Tax Day & National Baseball Day & World Art Day (DaVinci's birthday)
Night Sky, 4/15: Sunrise: 6:44 am Sunset: 7:58 pm (13 hours and 14 minutes of daylight) Moonrise: 5:34 am Moonset: 6:13 pm
Thursday, April 16 – National Orchid Day & Save The Elephant Day & World Voice Day
For my 82nd birthday my bridge partner gave me a “Sexy Senior Citizen” bumper sticker. It made me think about wheelchair racing, wet shawl contests, teeth swapping. And where she got that ten-dollar bill she gave me for Christmas. )|( The most awarded prize for living 80 years is atrophy.
..........A lessened utility, a loss of mobility.........Tom Lehrer …..When You Are Old And Gray
2) The Judiciary Act of 1801 reduced the Supreme Court from six to five judges primarily as a political move by the outgoing Federalist party to prevent incoming President Thomas Jefferson, a Democratic-Republican, from appointing a new justice upon the next vacancy. The reduction was also intended to reduce the burden of circuit riding for the remaining justices.
Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: What do sea monsters eat for lunch? Fish and ships.
Moonbeam: As a rule, there is no surer way to the dislike of men than to behave well where they have behaved badly. --Lew Wallace
Fun Fact of the Week: I love it that the single largest protest to save US Democracy was in London. (500,000).
Video of the Week: Sheb Woolley: Flying Purple People Eater (2:13)
Advertising has done more to cause the social unrest of the 20th century than any other single factor. --Clare Boothe Luce
It only takes one octogenarian to change a light bulb but it does take all day. )|( After 80 you get to call your gray hair “wisdom highlights”. )|( I don't like to brag but it has been literally decades since I had a hot flash.
..........I was there when Captain Beefheart started up his first band.........LCD Soundsystem …..Losing My Edge
3) The Supreme Court was increased to seven justices by the 1807 act to accommodate the nation's westward expansion, specifically to create a Seventh Circuit covering Ohio, Kentucky, and Tennessee. This authorized a new justice, who was required to reside in the west, to handle the increased caseload in western districts.
Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I am beginning to think that the head of the Iranian military wasn't a part time new host 15 months ago. --crunchyrugger https://www.facebook.com/USdems
Weird Word of the Week: Efflorescence: A blooming or flowering. https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/efflorescence
Dragon of the Week:
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Remove Krazy Glue from any surface. Pour Coca-Cola over the glue, wait five minutes, and then wipe up the glue and soda. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola2.html
One of the advantages to being 80 is that you have 6½ decade of “retro” clothes. )|( The older we get, the earlier it gets late.
...........There was a time back in my prine.........Toby Keith …..As Good As I Once Was
4) The Supreme Court was increased to nine justices by the Eighth and Ninth Circuits Act of 1837 primarily to accommodate the westward expansion of the United States. By adding two new circuit courts (bringing the total to nine) to cover new western states, Congress expanded the court to ensure each circuit had a presiding Supreme Court Justice.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Sometimes I talk to myself and we both laugh. https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562909918541
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: CyPhaCon 2026 (10-12, Lake Charles, LA)...the largest fan run Pop Culture Convention in the State of Louisiana. https://www.cyphacon.org/
Reader Response of the Week: One of my favorite country song titles: When I'm Under the Table I'll be over You. Don't recall who sang it. --cc of ma ~~I believe it is I'll Be Under the Table For I'm Over You by Garth Brooks but the only online recording I found the song is sung by Shawn Downs https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRmOpdlr1b0
Spark of Joy of the Week: No Kings 3 Sign: No Taxation Without Pedophile Incarceration
The Douglas County Fire Department just got a court order banning my birthday cake as a fire hazard. )|( I called the incontinence hotline recently. They asked me if I could hold.
..........Who's the one that knows the tricks.........Fats Waller …..Old Grand Dad
5) In 1863 Congress created a 10th circuit during the Civil War. It had its own (10th) supreme court judge. In 1866 Congress reduced the number of judges to 7 to prevent President Andrew Johnson from making any appointments. The number was set back to 9 by the Judiciary Act of 1869 and has remained the same ever since.
Protest Sign of the Week: Toto, I Have A Feeling We're Not In A Democracy Anymore
Better Protest Sign of the Week: Regime Change Begins At Home
Best Protest Sign of the Week: Our Huddled Masses Will Defeat Your Fascist Asses
Quote of the Week: I'm only racist in traffic. --Chris's co-worker ~~the latest entry in the Shortest Stories Reveal The Most collection
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: By my calculations the entire national debt could be erased if Donald Trump's impeachment trial was Pay Per View. --John Smith Marketing
Today's Peace of History: April 10, 1971: Ninety-year-old Jeannette Rankin, the first female member of Congress (R-Montana), and the only one to vote against US entry into both World Wars, led 8000 in protest of the Vietnam War in a women's peace march on the Pentagon.
Octogenarians are so old they remember when the Dead Sea was in hospice. )|( Boxers or briefs? It Depends. )|( I used to envy people who could do a cartwheel...now I'm jealous of anyone who can get up off the floor without making grunting noises and holding onto furniture. --Grazing Grounds
..........Hope I die before I get old.........The Who …..My Generation
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, April 10, 2026: OE looks at 80. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.
Moonbeam: The monuments of the nations are all protests against nothingness after death... --Lew Wallace
Cost of War:
Pentagon Spending as of 4/09/26: $532,032,375,984
Pentagon Spending as of 4/01/26: $509,374,006,944
That's 22,658,269,040 (Yes, BILLIONS) in 9 days which comes to 2,517,596,560 each day. BILLIONS
https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/category/military/
In politics women type the letters, lick the stamps, distribute the pamphlets and get out the vote. Men get elected. --Clare Boothe Luce
Famous Last Words: Get back to where you once belonged. --The Beatles Get Back (The last line of the last song from the Beatles last concert on the rooftop of Apple Headquarters, 1/30/69)
In the end, mothers weep the same tears on every side. --Humanity & Peace
..........Will you still need me, will you still feed me..........The Beatles …..When I'm Sixty-four
Many octogenarians wished they had told their secrets to someone because they don't remember them anymore. )|( In your 80s things begin to click for you, your knees, your neck, your hip.
May Peace lift your burdens
And Joy free your spirit
prairie mama
christine
Last Laugh: Chronologically-gifted
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